Twilight put on her sunglasses as the ponies reached the outskirts of town.  They found a sign.  This is what the sign said:

Hello, this is a sign, and not only is it a sign, it is a sign that is going to explain to you the exact meaning of this sign.  This is why I've decided to go ahead and tell you exactly what a sign is.  A sign is a representation of an object that implies a connection between itself and its object. A natural sign bears a causal relation to its object—for instance, thunder is a sign of storm. A conventional sign signifies by agreement, as a full stop signifies the end of a sentence. (This is in contrast to a symbol which stands for another thing, as a flag may be a symbol of a nation).

The way a sign signifies is called semiosis which is a topic of semiotics and philosophy of language.

How a sign is perceived depends upon what is intended or expressed in the semiotic relationship of:

Signification

Significance (i.e. meaning)

Importance

Thus, for example, ponies may speak of the significance of events, the signification of characters, the meaning of sentences, or the import of a communication. Different ways of relating signs to their objects are called modes of signification.

Uses of conventional signs are varied. Usually the goal is to elicit a response or simply inform. That can be achieved by marking something, displaying a message (i.e. a notice), drawing attention or presenting evidence of an underlying cause (for instance, medical symptoms signify a disease), performing a bodily gesture, etc.Semiotics, epistemology, logic, and philosophy of language are concerned about the nature of signs, what they are and how they signify. The nature of signs and symbols and significations, their definition, elements, and types, is mainly established by Aristotle, Augustine, and Aquinas. According to these classic sources, significance is a relationship between two sorts of things: signs and the kinds of things they signify (intend, express or mean), where one term necessarily causes something else to come to the mind. Distinguishing natural signs and conventional signs, the traditional theory of signs sets the following threefold partition of things:

There are things that are just things, not any sign at all;

There are things that are also signs of other things (as natural signs of the physical world and mental signs of the mind);

There are things that are always signs, as languages (natural and artificial) and other cultural nonverbal symbols, as documents, money, ceremonies, and rites.

Thus there are things which may act as signs without any respect to the pony agent (the things of the external world, all sorts of indications, evidences, symptoms, and physical signals), there are signs which are always signs (the entities of the mind as ideas and images, thoughts and feelings, constructs and intentions); and there are signs that have to get their signification (as linguistic entities and cultural symbols). So, while natural signs serve as the source of signification, the pony mind is the agency through which signs signify naturally occurring things, such as objects, states, qualities, quantities, events, processes, or relationships. Pony language and discourse, communication, philosophy, science, logic, mathematics, poetry, theology, and religion are only some of fields of pony study and activity where grasping the nature of signs and symbols and patterns of signification may have a decisive value.

A sign can denote any of the following:

Sign, in astrology: often used to mean the Sun sign

Sign or signing, in communication: communicating via hand gestures, such as in sign language.

Gang signal

Sign, in Tracking (hunting): also known as Spoor (animal); trace evidence left on the ground after passage.

A signboard.

A sign, in common use, is an indication that a previously observed event is about to occur again

Sign, in divination and religion: an omen, an event or occurrence believed to foretell the future

Sign, in ontology and spirituality: a coincidence; see synchronicity

Sign (linguistics): a combination of a concept and a sound-image described by Ferdinand de Saussure

In mathematics, the sign of a number tells whether it is positive or negative. Also, the sign of a permutation tells whether it is the product of an even or odd number of transpositions.

Signedness, in computing, is the property that a representation of a number has one bit, the sign bit, which denotes whether the number is non-negative or negative. A number is called signed if it contains a sign bit, otherwise unsigned. See also signed number representation

Sign, in biology: an indication of some living thing's presence

Medical sign, in medicine: objective evidence of the presence of a disease or disorder, as opposed to a symptom, which is subjective

Sign (semiotics): the basic unit of meaning

Information sign: a notice that instructs, advises, informs or warns ponies.

Traffic sign: a sign that instructs drivers; see also stop sign, speed limit sign, cross walk sign

Sign, in a writing system: a basic unit. Similar terms which are more specific are character, letter or grapheme

Commercial signage, including flashing signs, such as on a retail store, factory, or theatre

Signature, in history: a handwritten depiction observed on a document to show authorship and will

Or a cutie mark.

Now that you know what a sign is, I, the sign, can finally tell you exactly what this sign is about.

This sign is about signs.  

*end of sign*

Twilight started to giggle.  Then, the joke sunk into her, and she burst out laughing.  This is exactly what it sounded like:

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

And after Twilight was done laughing for such a LONG FUCKING TIME, she decided it was time to stop laughing, and instead continued off away from the sign and towards the big island that lay far away where the persiliance that she craved so badly was stowed away.  

All of her friends opted against going, but Twilight turned into a demon and threatened to eat their souls if they did not come.   Fluttershy had a heart attack.

All of the ponies agreed to go with Twilight and she turned back into a pony.  

Fluttershy was breathing pretty hard when she finally stopped having a heart attack.  

Twilight then told Fluttershy exactly what a heart attack was.  

This is what she said:

"Myocardial infarction (MI) or acute myocardial infarction (AMI), commonly known as a heart attack, results from the interruption of blood supply to a part of the heart, causing heart cells to die. This is most commonly due to occlusion (blockage) of a coronary artery following the rupture of a vulnerable atherosclerotic plaque, which is an unstable collection of lipids (cholesterol and fatty acids) and white blood cells (especially macrophages) in the wall of an artery. The resulting ischemia (restriction in blood supply) and ensuing oxygen shortage, if left untreated for a sufficient period of time, can cause damage or death (infarction) of heart muscle tissue (myocardium).

Classical symptoms of acute myocardial infarction include sudden chest pain (typically radiating to the left arm or left side of the neck), shortness of breath, nausea, vomiting, palpitations, sweating, and anxiety (often described as a sense of impending doom). Women may experience fewer typical symptoms than men, most commonly shortness of breath, weakness, a feeling of indigestion, and fatigue.  A sizeable proportion of myocardial infarctions (22–64%) are "silent", that is without chest pain or other symptoms.

Among the diagnostic tests available to detect heart muscle damage are an electrocardiogram (ECG), echocardiography, cardiac MRI and various blood tests. The most often used blood markers are the creatine kinase-MB (CK-MB) fraction and the troponin levels. Immediate treatment for suspected acute myocardial infarction includes oxygen, aspirin, and sublingual nitroglycerin.

Most cases of myocardial infarction with ST elevation on ECG (STEMI) are treated with reperfusion therapy, such as percutaneous coronary intervention (PCI) or thrombolysis. Non-ST elevation myocardial infarction (NSTEMI) may be managed with medication, although PCI may be required if the patient's risk warrants it. People who have multiple blockages of their coronary arteries, particularly if they also have diabetes mellitus, may benefit from bypass surgery (CABG),[7][8]. The European Society of Cardiology guidelines in 2011 proposed treating the blockage causing the myocardial infarction by PCI and performing CABG later when the patient is more stable. Rarely CABG may be preferred in the acute phase of myocardial infarction, for example when PCI has failed or is contraindicated.

Ischemic heart disease (which includes myocardial infarction, angina pectoris and heart failure when preceded by myocardial infarction) was the leading cause of death for both men and women worldwide in 2004. Important risk factors are previous cardiovascular disease, older age, tobacco smoking, high blood levels of certain lipids (low-density lipoprotein cholesterol, triglycerides) and low levels of high density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure, lack of physical activity and obesity, chronic kidney disease, excessive alcohol consumption, the abuse of illicit drugs (such as cocaine and amphetamines), and chronic high stress levels.  You can tell if you've had a heart attack, Fluttershy, by checking for these symptoms.  The onset of symptoms in myocardial infarction (MI) is usually gradual, over several minutes, and rarely instantaneous. Chest pain is the most common symptom of acute myocardial infarction and is often described as a sensation of tightness, pressure, or squeezing. Chest pain due to ischemia (a lack of blood and hence oxygen supply) of the heart muscle is termed angina pectoris. Pain radiates most often to the left arm, but may also radiate to the lower jaw, neck, right arm, back, and epigastrium, where it may mimic heartburn. Levine's sign, in which the patient localizes the chest pain by clenching their fist over the sternum, has classically been thought to be predictive of cardiac chest pain, although a prospective observational study showed that it had a poor positive predictive value.

Shortness of breath (dyspnea) occurs when the damage to the heart limits the output of the left ventricle, causing left ventricular failure and consequent pulmonary edema. Other symptoms include diaphoresis (an excessive form of sweating), weakness, light-headedness, nausea, vomiting, and palpitations. These symptoms are likely induced by a massive surge of catecholamines from the sympathetic nervous system which occurs in response to pain and the hemodynamic abnormalities that result from cardiac dysfunction. Loss of consciousness (due to inadequate cerebral perfusion and cardiogenic shock) and sudden death (frequently due to the development of ventricular fibrillation) can occur in myocardial infarctions.

Women and older patients report atypical symptoms more frequently than their male and younger counterparts. Women also report more numerous symptoms compared with men (2.6 on average vs 1.8 symptoms in men). The most common symptoms of MI in women include dyspnea (shortness of breath), weakness, and fatigue. Fatigue, sleep disturbances, and dyspnea have been reported as frequently occurring symptoms that may manifest as long as one month before the actual clinically manifested ischemic event. In women, chest pain may be less predictive of coronary ischemia than in men.

At least one-fourth of all myocardial infarctions are silent, without chest pain or other symptoms, with silent myocardial infarcations being more common in younger people. These cases can be discovered later on electrocardiograms, using blood enzyme tests or at autopsy without a prior history of related complaints. Estimates of the prevalence of silent myocardial infarctions vary between 22 and 64% . A silent course is more common in the elderly, in patients with diabetes mellitus and after heart transplantation, probably because the donor heart is not fully innervated by the nervous system of the recipient. In people with diabetes, differences in pain threshold, autonomic neuropathy, and psychological factors have been cited as possible explanations for the lack of symptoms.

Any group of symptoms compatible with a sudden interruption of the blood flow to the heart are called an acute coronary syndrome.

The differential diagnosis includes other catastrophic causes of chest pain, such as pulmonary embolism, aortic dissection, pericardial effusion causing cardiac tamponade, tension pneumothorax, and esophageal rupture. Other non-catastrophic differentials include gastroesophageal reflux and Tietze's syndrome."

Fluttershy was all like,"Oh that makes perfect sense."

And then Fluttershy, and the rest of the ponies, were all like,"Time to breath.  Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, 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breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, 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breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out."

For the rest of the story, we're just going to assume that all the characters will be breathing the entire time in the same fashion Fluttershy has just been described as doing, unless they die.  So from now on, at any given moment, the characters are breathing.  

Anywhoozle, Twilight and her crew decided that they were much too cool to trot, so they galloped all the way across the land with the ocean next to them to lead their way.  On their other side was the Mild West, where Appleloosa was located.  Most of Applejack's family lived in the mild west.  This included Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apple, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp, and even Rotten Apple, her addicted-to-heroin cousin twice removed.  

Each of Applejack's family members had a special type of apple, or apple related treat, that they were named after.  Here are just a few that Applejack could list off for her friends.

"Arkansas Black - Arkansas Black apples are mostly used for cooking. It is used as one of the ingredients in sauerkraut recipes. This variety of apple has a firm texture and a sour taste.

Braeburn - This variety of apples is available anytime between October and July. The skin-color of a Braeburn apple is reddish-orange with shades of yellow. This variety is usually used for making salad, applesauce and pies. These apples can be frozen for later consumption.

Cameo - Though Cameo apples are harvested in the month of September, it is available in the market only between October and August. This variety is identified by the white spots on the red skin. Cameo apples are used in various desserts such as apple crumble or apple crisp and many more. It is also used to make salads, sauces and pies. Cameo apples can be frozen.

Cortland - Cortland apples are available almost throughout the year. The only time it is not available in the market is during the months of January, March and April. This variety of apple is sweet and the skin color is red, spread over a yellowish-green skin. It is used for baking and freezing. It would make a good snack after a meal.

Empire - Empire apples are available throughout the year. It has a sweet and a sour taste. The skin color of this apple is a combination of red and green. You can freeze this variety of apples for future consumption.

Fuji - Fuji apples have reddish-pink skin. This variety belongs to Japan and was introduced in the US in the 1980s. This variety makes a good snack after a heavy meal. It tastes good in salads, pies and sauces. Fuji apples have longer shelf life without refrigeration. This is available from August to October.

Gala - This variety of apples is available from September to May. Though it is not good for freezing, it can be used for baking and apple pies. Gala apples have pinkish stripes on yellow skin. This variety of apples is very sweet.

Ginger Gold - This variety has a sweet-sour taste. Ginger Gold apples are available from August to November. Apple pies and sauces could be made from this variety. However, it is not good for freezing. The skin-color of a Ginger Gold apple is yellow.

Golden Delicious - As the name suggests, this variety is not only sweet and delicious but also golden-yellow in color. It is used to make jams, salads, pies and sweet sauces. Golden Delicious apples are good for freezing too. This variety is available throughout the year.

Granny Smith - The skin color of this apple is green and it is very sour. It is available throughout the year. It can be frozen for later consumption. You can make pies and sauces with this variety.

Honeycrisp - This is a new variety of apples, which was introduced in the early '90s. The skin color of a Honeycrisp apple is a combination of red and yellow. It is used for baking and making salads and sauce. It does not taste good in pies. This variety can be frozen.

Idared - Idared apples are available throughout the year. The skin-color of an Idared apple is pink. This variety has a sweet and sour taste. Idared apples can be used for baking and freezing. It is used for making pies and sauces.

Jonagold - Jonagold apples are a hybrid variety of the Jonathan and the Golden Delicious apple. This variety is mostly used for making sweet-sour sauces, pies and salads. You can freeze Jonagold apples for future consumption. Jonagold apples are available between October and May.

Jonathan - This variety has shades of red and green color and the taste is sour. Jonathan apples can be frozen. It is widely used in salads and sauces.

McIntosh - This variety makes an excellent snack. You can make pies and sauces with McIntosh apples. However, these are not good for baking or freezing. The skin color of this apple is a blend of red and green. It tastes sweet with a tinge of sourness.

Red Delicious - The skin color of this variety of apple is red and it has a very sweet taste. This apple is good for making jams and would make a good dessert after a heavy meal. These apples are available in the market throughout the year.

Rome Beauty - This variety of apples are commonly used in baking. The skin color of this apple is crimson red and it is mildly sour. It is mostly used in salads and pies. It can be frozen too.

Winesap - Winesap apples are not good to eat raw and mostly used for making apple cider. This variety of apples is sour and has the flavor of seasoned wine. The skin color of this apple is deep red," she said.

Applejack was about to keep going on forever about the apples, but Twilight made her shut up because it was getting pretty annoying and she didn't want to listen to Applejack any more.  

So she ripped off Applejack's mouth.  

LOL JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK

Twilight just told Applejack to be quiet and Applejack did as she was told.  

Then the sun went down and it was the end of day one.  The ponies decided to go to sleep.  Day two was going to be a long one.