Chapter 29 - Nadir
“Sometimes we have to reach rock bottom before we’re willing to rise up and overcome our trials.”

The gunshot echoed in the room. It seemed especially loud in my ears. Brownie’s body shuddered one last time as his life left his body. The room fell eerily silent.

When what I had done finally settled in my mind, the pistol dropped from my mouth and rattled on the floor. Each impact sounded like a gavel striking a sound block. It was as if somepony was judging me for my actions.

I stood there numbly just looking at Brownie’s body. His eye was still open and it was staring right into my soul. Gertie’s claw appeared in my vision and swiped over his face, closing his eye in the process.

When she finished, she walked over to me and placed a claw on my shoulder. “Dust, you did…” she began to say.

“Don’t you dare tell me I did what needs to be done!” I shouted, my voice cracking. “I still killed him!”

“Dust, you have to listen to me,” Gertie spoke softly to me. “Brownie was in a bad way. There was no happy ending here. At least now he’s not suffering.”

“And what about me, Mister Dust?” I heard One’s voice say. “Did I need to die, too?”

“No… no, no, no, no, no,” I muttered, frantically looking around the room for One.

“Yeah, Dust. Did ah really need ta die, too?” the deep voice of Brownie said.

My legs went weak and I fell to the floor. I slammed my hooves over my ears. “No… I’m sorry I murdered you!”

“Dust, who are you talking about?” Gertie asked, having dropped to floor to look me in the eyes.

“Yeah, Mister Dust,” One’s voice mockingly called out. “Who are you talking about?”

“DUST!” Gertie yelled, distracting me from the conversation I was having. “We have to move, now!”

“Wh… what’s going on?” I asked, still searching the room for the source of the voices.

“Somepony is coming from the direction of city hall,” Gertie told me, scooping up my gun and jamming it into my holster. “We have to get out of here!”

Gertie bolted out of the room and I followed after her. I could hear the rumble of voices coming from the end of the hallway we came from. As a group, we travelled in the other direction, looking for another way out of here. Silver had to more or less drag Flower, who kept looking over her shoulder.

The underground complex became a series of twists and turns. We passed a number of doors that were either locked or were waiting open, leading into empty rooms beyond. I didn’t want to see what was behind the locked ones.

“We have to get to the surface and get to the gate before they find out we were here,” Gertie said, cautiously looking around a corner. “If they catch us, we aren’t getting out of here alive.”

“But if they haven’t seen us, how much trouble can we be in?” Silver asked, sticking close to my side as we moved down the hallway.

“What about the guard you seduced?” Gertie shot back.

“Oh…” Silver responded.

Something bumped into me from behind, causing me to jump out of my skin.

“Oh… sorry, Dust,” Flower mumbled, her voice monotone. “Didn’t see you there...” She wasn’t looking at me, as much as she was looking past me.

“Flower, are you OK?” I asked, tentatively.

“Huh?” she asked, still looking as if she were just staring down an endless tunnel. “Yeah, I’m fine… no…”

“Flower, look,” I started.

“Can this wait?” Gertie interrupted. “I think we found a way back to street level.”

The floor beneath us did start to slope upwards. The voices behind us were still soft and muffled, leading me to believe that they were far enough behind us… for now.

At the end of the hallway, we came up to a wall with a different door than the others we had run across. This one was larger by far… large enough for two ponies, at least, to walk through at the same time. Gertie braced herself against it and gave it a shove. It began to scrape against the floor as it swung outward. A blast of cold air washed over us.

We quickly ran through into the darkness beyond as we all helped Gertie push the door closed behind us. The cold room we were in was now completely dark.

“Anybody got a light?” Gertie asked.

“Yeah, Brown…” I started to say, my stomach dropping as the words left my mouth. I could hear Flower whimper somewhere in the darkness. “Oh…my bad.”

I raised my hoof with the Pipbuck on it. While it didn’t give off a lot of light, it was enough to make out some of our surroundings. We were surrounded by shelves which were loaded with foodstuffs of all kind. There were baskets of vegetables and fruits on some. Others held boxes with some writing on them, which was unreadable in the darkness.

“Got a door handle over here!” Silver called out.

We all ran over as Silver pulled the handle and the door swung open. The room we were now in looked like a kitchen. There were a lot of firepits, pots, and pans around. As belied by the hour, the kitchen was devoid of any cooks or chefs. We continued our path away from this hell we were in.

When we pushed through the next door, we were in a very familiar room. It was Chuck Roast’s dining room! Sparely lit by a few gems, and completely empty of ponies, the room was barely recognizable.

“Dust…” Silver started to ask.

“Not now, Silver. Let’s just keep going,” I stopped her. We didn’t need to have this conversation right now.

We all fell into step behind Gertie, trusting her instincts and knowledge of town. Fortunately, it was still night and there would be fewer ponies on the street, including security. We made good progress towards the front gate, only needing to stop a few times to avoid an occasional security patrol. The security ponies did not seem on heightened alert, so either they had no communication system or the ponies who had entered the underground tunnel were a separate force.

The market, thankfully, was also mostly empty. It was weird to hear only our hoofsteps echoing off the surrounding buildings when you could barely hear yourself think earlier. We cantered our way across the square and drew near the gates. A small line of ponies were waiting to leave town and get their weapons back.

“Shit,” Gertie mumbled as we took our place at the end of the line. “There’s only a skeleton crew at the gate. This could take a while.”

We uneasily shifted our view between each other, the short line in front of us, and the town behind us. And then it dawned on me…

“Fuck, we don’t know who is looking for us!” I gasped.

“My guess, Dust, is that they’ll be the ones with the big guns,” Gertie deadpanned.

“No… I mean, would whoever is following us risk involving the normal security force?” I asked. “Or is this secret something so big it’s being hidden from the town?”

Gertie shrugged. “I don’t know… we better hope so,” she deadpanned.

The line moved forward as the pony at the head of the line cleared the security checkpoint. Only about four more ponies before us. We all kept quiet, but it was probably due to anxiety more than any kind of strategic concern. The line moved slowly, but steadily.

“Next!” the old guardpony on duty called out as the pony in front of us cleared the gate. We stepped up to his table. “Name?”

“Dust Cloud, Wilted Flower, Silver Lining, and Gertrude Stoneclaw,” I recited to the guard. Silver kicked me in the leg. I looked at her and she had a stern look on her face. “Oh, and Brown Root.”

The guardspony adjusted the glasses on his nose and looked down at his clipboard. “I don’t see any Dusty Flower on my list here.”

“No… no… it’s Dust Cloud,” I corrected him.

“Hmmm,” he mumbled as he perused the list. “I don’t see no Rust Shroud.”

“DUST CLOUD!” I shouted to the guard.

“No need to yell,” he scolded me. He returned to looking at his clipboard. “Dust Cloud, Dust Cloud, Dust Cloud… ah, here you are. Wait here while I grab your locker. The guard cantered over to a set of shelves filled with almost identical looking boxes.

“This is gonna take forever!” I groaned.

“Don’t have much choice, do we?” Gertie asked.

I sighed.

The guard returned with my box and I quickly removed all my gear. Flower, Silver and Gertie all took their turns which ended in much the same way.

“Finally, Brown Root,” I informed the guard.

“You already got yours,” he answered.

“I know… Brown Root is…” I paused when a pang of guilt wracked my gut. “Was… our friend. He’s no longer with us.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” the guard said. “But I’m going to need you to fill out form 13.1Q to claim your deceased friend’s gear.” He hoofed the clipboard over to me as he disappeared into the shelves again.

“Dust,” Gertie muttered to me.

“Not now, Gertie,” I answered, fumbling with the pen in my mouth.

“Dust,” Gertie muttered again.

“Gertie, I have to fill this out,” I grunted.

“Dust!” she hissed as she grabbed my head and twisted it. Entering the far side of the market were two ponies wearing street clothes. It looked like they were going to be leaving town also. And then I noticed the assault rifles slung over their barrels.

“Shit!” I hissed to myself. “Excuse me, guard? Is there any way you can hurry this up?”

“Don’t ya worry, I’ll find it,” he called back from the shelves. “You just fill out that form and make sure it’s right!”

Redoubling my efforts on the form, I scribbled in the necessary information as quickly as possible. I glanced back over my shoulder as I saw the two armed ponies steadily making their way towards the exit. A loud thud drew my attention back.

“Here ya go!” the guard said cheerily. “Now let me see that form.”

As the guard grabbed the clipboard, we opened the box and split up Brownie’s stuff.
“Alright, looks like everything’s in order!” he confirmed. “We hope you enjoyed your stay at The Garden. Come back soon!”

“Thanks...” I said. “But I don’t think so!” I called out as I galloped towards our sky wagon.

Gertie rushed over and strapped me into the wagon as quickly as she could. Flower and Silver climbed in the passenger cabin and closed the door behind them. Suddenly, we heard a commotion near the gate. The ponies in line were grumbling as the two armed ponies were talking with the guard and he was pointing in our direction. I locked eyes with one of them and his face twisted into a snarl.

“Fuck!” I cried out as Gertie tightened the last strap. “Let’s get the fuck outta here!”

I flapped my wings as hard as I could and tried to get the skywagon airborne quickly. I watched as the two ponies galloped closer, each drawing their assault rifle into firing position. I banked to my right trying to position the wagon between them and me.

Several volleys of gunfire sounded below me, quickly followed by several pings against the fuselage of the skywagon. The sound of the gunfire below and behind me, and the frequency of the bullet impacts, faded away as we increased our distance from the city.

After a while, I slowed my pace to a more sustainable speed. Gertie flew up next to me after doubling back to ensure we weren’t being tracked.

“Shit,” she whined. I shot her a confused look. “I really liked The Garden and now I can never go back.”

“Yeah, Mister Dust, way to ruin things for her,” One’s voice filled my ears.

“Ah don’t think a simple sorry is enough,” Brownie followed up.

I felt a whimper escape my throat.

“Dust, you OK?” Gertie asked, clearly concerned.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I lied. “We need to set down and figure things out. Where is a safe place?”

Gertie thought for a little bit. “There’s an old trading outpost about an hours flight north of here. The Talons have used it before and we’re on good terms with the townsponies.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said with a nod. “Why don’t you check on the others and then help me navigate, please?”

“Sure thing, Dust,” she answered as she angled away to get to the fuselage.

“Ah, now we’re all alone,” Brownie’s voice said. “Fine mess ya got me inta.”

“It’s not real,” I repeated several times, clapping my hooves against my ears.

“Ah, Mister Dust. That isn’t going to work,” One said.

“Another plan, another death,” Brownie mocked. “But this time, ya can’t hide behind the window. Ya killed me, Dust. Ya murdered me.”

“And why did you pick me, Mister Dust?” One heaped on.

“I’m sorry!” I shouted.

“For what, Dust?” Gertie asked. I hadn’t seen her come back yet.

“I, um, thought we hit some turbulence,” I lied again. “How is Silver… and Flower?”

“Silver is fine,” Gertie answered and then paused. “Flower, well, Flower is a mess.”

I sighed. I could only imagine what she was going through. She had settled down to start a life with Brownie. And then I re-enter the picture. We need to save the Wasteland. I lure them away from Coltington. And now Brownie is dead. Killed by my hoof. What if it had been Silver? My stomach twisted in on itself. I was being selfish thinking about myself when I should be thinking about Flower.

“Equestria to Dust?” Gertie asked, having maneuvered right next to me. “You OK there? You’ve been doing that a lot since.. Well…”

“I know, Gertie,” I answered, trying to cut off that train of thought. “I’ll be OK.” I saw the mixture of doubt and concern on her face. “It’ll just take time.”

“You know I’m here if you need to talk,” she replied.

“I know,” I said. Talking wouldn’t do much.

“Why do you turn your friends away, Mister Dust?” One’s voice returned. “She just wants to help.”

“Yeah, Dust. Turning yer friends away, that’ll keep em safe,” Brownie mocked.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath.

------

The rest of the trip to the trading post was spent in silent reflection. At least as silent as it got with the voices of my two dead friends mocking me at every chance they got. Gertie gave up trying to initiate conversation and flew in silence next to me.

We landed on the outskirts of town as the sun was starting to come up. I set the skywagon down gently and waited for Gertie to release me from the harness. As she began to unbuckle me, Flower and Silver came out of the passenger cabin.

I hadn’t gotten a good look at Flower since we were running out of The Garden. To be frank, she looked like shit. The area around her eyes were puffy and her tears had cleaned streaks of fur down her face. Her eyes were completely bloodshot. As I took this all in, snot dripped off her nose.

“I’ll go get us some rooms,” Gertie said, with a yawn.

“Not yet,” I said, shaking my head. “There’s something more important we have to do first.” Everyone shot me a confused look. “Where’s the bar?”

Gertie answered with a solemn nod and led us towards the shell of a building that housed the small bar. It was in amazingly good condition, but still showed the typical wear and tear of centuries of use. The large door was falling off its hinges, but I think that hardly mattered to anypony.

The inside was sparsely furnished. Compared with Chuck Roast’s, this place was a dive. The tables were the old wooden spools that were used to move wire back before the war. There were only a few chairs, if you could call a small crate a chair. The bar was made of half sheets of plywood, supported by sawhorses.

The pony behind the bar was in a threadbare vest. It was hard to tell if his coat was brown or dirty, or some mix of the two. He was mindless, spinning a bottlecap on the bar as I approached.

“Yeah, what can I do you for?” he spoke gruffly, not taking his attention away from the bottlecap.

“I need the strongest bottle you got, and four shotglasses please,” I asked.

“Wild Pegasus good?” he droned.

“Absolutely,” I said with a nod.

With a deep sigh and an eye role, he turned around and levitated a bottle of the liquor and four glasses to the table that my friends had claimed. After mumbling an amount to me, I hoofed over the requisite number of caps and walked to my friends.

Gertie had already opened the bottle and poured everypony a double shot of the amber colored liquid. I grabbed the shot glass closest to me and raised it in the air.

“Flower, would you do the honors?” I asked.

Flower, who had been staring off into the corner, slowly turned her head towards me. “Ah don’t... think... ah can, Dust,” she said, starting to sob. Silver sidled up next to her and wrapped a hoof around her.

“To Brownie!” I called out. “He was probably my first true friend down here in the Wasteland. He saw a pony who wasn’t fitting and made sure he had somepony to talk to. He was always willing to help another pony in need and always gave one hundred and then percent of himself.” I paused and saw the water welling up in all my friends’ eyes. “Even if it meant he would have to sacrifice himself to do so. He saved my life many a time we were scavenging ruins or stables, but he would never ask for anything in return. Flower,” I turned to look at her directly. “Although he wouldn’t really talk about it, we all know he loved you. All he wanted was to make you happy, because you did so for him. To Brownie!”

My friends solemnly repeated my toast and we all slammed back the drinks. It was cute to see Silver’s face scrunch up as she gulped down the burning liquid which was probably the strongest thing she had drinken, probably ever. Gertie quickly poured everypony another round.

“Why didn’t I get a toast, Mister Dust?” One’s voice said, returning to taunt me. “DIdn’t you like me?”

“Well, did ya?” Brownie drawled.

I quickly grabbed the shotglass and slammed the drink down. The mocking voices of my two dead friends wavered a little.

“Hit me,” I said, slamming the glass down in front of Gertie. She poured and I slammed down that drink as well. “Again,” I ordered with another slam.

“Dust, you think that’s a good idea?” Gertie asked, hesitating with the bottle.

I shot her a stern look and she filled the glass again. Gulping down this drink, the voices of Brownie and One quieted to silence.

I leaned back in my seat and breathed out in a relieved sigh. We all sat there for awhile drinking in silence. Occasionally, I would glance at Flower to see how she was doing. Silver was comforting her as best she could. Even Gertie would try from time to time.

“Flower…” I said, fighting through the alcohol and the room spinning.

“D...Dust…” she slurred back. “Loo… loo… look… I know ya d… d… did what think ya had ta, b...but ah can’t fergive you. You k...k...killed the love of my life. Ah d...d...don’t wanna know ya right now.”

It felt like I got bucked in the stomach. I grabbed the bottle and poured myself another drink. This time, the alcohol didn’t burn as it went down. Good, I was getting numb. And then things went black.

---

The dull roar of the bar filtered into my ears. I picked my head up from hooves and struggled to open my eyes. When I did, the room was still spinning. Flower’s muzzle was buried in Silver’s shoulder and Gertie was looking on, not sure what she should do. Flower looked up, and even though it was a momentary flash, I could see the anger in her eyes. Looking away, and fighting the spinning room, I grabbed the bottle and took a giant swig.

“F...fine…” I slurred. “It’s m..m..my fucking fault.” I grabbed the bottle and stumbled away. “Fuck this.” Then the floor began to rise towards my head.

---

The next sensation I remember is my head throbbing. It felt like my brain was trying to break its way out of my skull. And based on the feeling, I couldn’t blame it. Even though I haven’t even tried to move yet, I could already tell this was the hangover of all hangovers.

My eyelids struggled to flutter open, but when even a sliver of light came through, it felt like needles being plunged right into my eyeballs. I slammed my eyelids shut and and tried to press my hooves against them. I was only able to move them so far before they stopped because of some restraint.

“Uuuuugh,” I groaned from my prone position.

“About time you woke up,” somepony grumbled from nearby. The voice boomed into my head making the headache worse.

“Shhhh,” I tried to hush the pony. “No so loud.”

“No, I don’t think so,” the voice boomed.

I turned my head, slowly, to see who was torturing me. Squinting, I saw a gray and black blob. “Gertie?” I asked.

“Yes,” she shouted.

“Are you enjoying torturing me?” I groaned. “And why the hell am I tied down?”

“Didn’t know you were into that kinda stuff?” she asked, barely holding back laughter. “You are one lousy drunk, Dust,” she bellowed, sending spikes into my head. “What do you remember?”

“I remember the floor of the bar floating towards my head?” I joked.

“I’m not laughing,” Gertie grunted. “Do you remember shouting at Flower in the bar? Do you remember breaking two bottles of Wild Pegasus before walking off with a third? Do you remember having a conversation with an empty barstool?”

“No...no…” I muttered. Did I really do all those things?

“Do you also remember talking about One and Muddy with a brahmin? And picking the fistfight with the merc passing through town?” she resumed shouting.

“No… I really don’t,” I mumbled.

“You really do not hold your liquor well,” Gertie scolded.

“So, why am I tied up?” I asked, trying to raise a hoof again.

“You kept trying to get up and have round two with the merc,” Gertie said, loosening the ropes. “It was the only way to keep you from getting killed.”

“How long was I out?” I asked, rubbing my forehoofs to get the circulation back.

“Well, we’ve been here for two days now,” she said after some thought. “You’ve been in and out, drinking more each time you woke up. I finally stopped you.”

“And Silver and Flower?” I continued.

“Flower is about as well as can be expected,” she answered. “She still isn’t talking to you, by the way. And Silver is helping her out. You know, if the courier thing doesn’t work out for her, she might want to try psychology.” She reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a syringe of Med-X and a bottle of water. “I got this for you for the hangover. It will only take the edge off.”

I greedily slurped down the bottle of water. “Ugh, anything is better than this…” I said, swallowing the water. “But I gotta take a leak first.”

After stumbling down to the latrine and back, I got back in bed. Gertie came over and pulled the cap off of the syringe.

“Go sleep this thing off,” she said, sticking the needle into me and pushing down on the plunger. The pounding diminished slightly.

“Thank you, Gertie,” I said, as I laid my head back down on the pillow.

I waited for the door to click closed behind her as she left the room. I simply laid in bed, my head threatening to burst open.

A gunshot rang out and startled me to attention. Glancing around the room, a pony’s presence surprised me. Slumped against a wall with his head hanging was Brownie. A large hole was present on the side of his head. Ruby red blood ran down his face, dripping to the floor and pooling beneath him. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw his head rise.

His brown face had gone slightly paler than I remember. His eyes were vacant, seeming to stare through me. His mouth slowly opened and a ghastly rasping escaped his lips. “Why?” he groaned with staggering breaths.

I closed my eyes and buried my head in my hooves. “Brownie, I’m so sorry… I…” I started to apologize, opening my eyes once again. The motionless body of Brownie was still slumped in the corner, but thankfully, the head was drooping again and not look at me.

“Fuck me,” I gasped as I slumped back down in bed. The throbbing in my head had gotten worse, which I didn’t think was possible.

Leaning out of bed, I reached over for my saddlebags looking for more water or even more Med-X. Digging around inside, I found the familiar glass shape of a Wild Pegasus bottle. Drawing it out of the bags, I saw that the neck seal hadn’t even been broken yet. I guess drunk me was getting ready for the next round.

Twisting the cap and breaking the seal, I took a large swig off the bottle. The booze burned as it flowed down my throat. After several moments, the image of Brownie became fuzzy at the edges.

“Thank Celestia,” I sighed in relief. Bringing the bottle back up to my lips, I took another large draught. I repeated this cycle until I blacked out again.

---

I felt my head throbbing before I fully woke up. Why did waking up drunk or hungover always have to hurt so much?

I went to rub my temples, but found I couldn’t move my hooves. Attempting to open my eyes, the first light seared my vision and caused me to cry out in pain. As the room around me sharpened in my vision, I saw that I wasn’t in my room at the inn anymore. This room was very large with high ceilings. There were tall commercial racks lining the walls and others lined up in rows in the room. Several overhead gems lit the room in a harsh light. Looking down at my hooves, I realized they were tied to one of the large shelving units.

“What the hell?” I said out loud, not expecting a response.

“Mornin’, Dust,” Flower’s voice echoed in the room.

Even though I knew she was speaking softly, it still boomed in my head. Trying to find her, I found her as she came around the corner of one of the shelving units in the middle of the room.

“Flower, hurry and untie me!” I cried out.

“No, Dust,” she responded, with a deadly seriousness in her tone. She took a swig from a nondescript bottle.

“What do you mean, no?” I gasped in surprise.

“Ah mean ah’m not going ta untie ya,” she answered flatly. “We need ta have a talk… well, ah need ta talk, ya need ta listen,” she said, jabbing a hoof in my direction.

Flower paced unsteadily around the room for a long time. “Ya took somethin’ from me, Dust,” she finally said. “Somethin’ ah loved, somethin’ ah needed.”

“Flower, I just…” I tried to defend myself.

Flower drew a frag grenade out of her saddlebag and placed it on a nearby table. “No… ya don’t get ta talk unless ah say so,” she interrupted me, almost growling. “I get ta talk…”

I decided to keep my mouth shut and not anger her more. My head began to throb more than it had when I woke up.

“Can I at least get some Med-X first?” I moaned. “This hangover is kicking my ass.”

“No,” she said flatly, her gaze never turning away from me. “Maybe some discomfort, some pain, will do ya some good.” She took yet another swig. This one emptied the bottle and she hurled it across the room. The sound of the bottle breaking pierced my skull.

We sat just staring at each other while I pressed my temple against the floor, doing my damndest to minimize the pain I was feeling. Her breathing was ragged. I could see the muscles in her jaw tensing.

“Look, Dust,” she finally began. “Ah’m not clueless here. Ah know that Brownie was hurtin’. Ah know he was gonna die. What we need ta talk about is why you did it.”

“Flower…” I started.

“Nope… ya still don’t get ta talk yet,” she barked. “He was my special somepony… MINE!” She slammed her hoof down on the ground, causing my headache to flare. “It was not yer action ta take!”

“Brownie asked me to!” I shouted out, trying to avoid getting cut off again.

“And that was wrong of him,” Flower yelled back. I could see her eyes watering over. However, she never looked away from me. “He shoulda let me do it!”

“But he couldn’t… he didn’t want to hurt you like that,” I explained.

“But why did it have ta be him?” she cried out.

“Flower… I don’t have an answer to that,” I sighed. “It could have just as easily been you or Silver. Why did Muddy send you guys where he did? And how could anypony guess the order we would visit the towns in? If it wasn’t Brownie, then Silver would have been burned at the stake. And if it wasn’t Silver, then who know what they would have done to you. The Wasteland just sucks.”

“No offense, Dust,” she cried. “But ah wish we never met ya.”

The matter of fact way she said it shook me to my core.

“If ya and Muddy hadn’t come down here, think about it,” she reasoned. “Brownie and ah would still be scavenging. We’d probably be at home right now, probly just holding each other. We wouldn’t be galavantin’ across the wastes on some revenge suicide mission. Silver would still be in her stable, never having been attacked by Muddy and having ta worry about ya. Or in the middle of a weird love triangle between two pegasi and a griffin merc.”

Her words gave me reason to pause. “What can I say, Flower, you’re right,” I admitted. “Perhaps everything would be better if Muddy and I never came down. But think about it this way… Silver would be trapped in the stable, too afraid to leave. And maybe Brownie wouldn’t have raised your relationship to the next level if we hadn’t been through everything.” I saw her features begin to soften. Maybe I was getting through to her. “Maybe no one would be as happy…”

“And you think ah’m happy now?” she screamed in rage, her face tightening once again. “How the fuck do ya think ah’m happy?”

“I can only imagine how tough this is for you,” I began to explain. “I can only imagine what I would do if I lost Silver or Gertie.”

“Dust… are you in here?” Silver’s voice echoed from outside the room.

Flower approached me, a little off balance. Once she got close enough, she grabbed a nearby rag and jammed it into my mouth. After drawing her gun, she hid behind a shelving unit.

“Dust? Where are you?” Silver called out, her voice sounding closer than before.

I struggled against my bonds, but Flower had tied the knots really well. The rag jammed in my mouth was stuffed in deep enough that I couldn’t work it out. All I could do was make a muffled yell, which I doubt she could hear.

Silver kept calling out my name as I heard her hoofbeats echo outside the room. I didn’t want to imagine what Flower was thinking about this whole situation.

I saw Silver’s pink face and green mane appear in the doorway. My gut sank as I saw her look at me and her eyes widen.

“Dust! I’ve been looking all over for you,” she cried out and she trotted into the room. I could see the joy drain from her face, replaced by concern. “What’s going on here?”

“Welcome to the party, Silver,” Flower slurred as she gestured towards me.

Silver backed towards me, never breaking eye contact with Flower. “Flower, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Dust and ah were just havin’ a li’l talk,” Flower said, slurring her words a little. “Ah think Dust needs ta learn a little about right and wrong. Why don’t ya join him over there.”

To her credit, Silver looked unfazed by Flower’s reaction as she moved towards me. “And what do you think Dust did wrong?”

“He killed Brownie!” Flower shrieked. “Isn’t that wrong enough? He took away the one truly good thing that was mine in the entire Celestia damned Wasteland!” Flower placed the gun down on a nearby shelf and picked up the frag grenade. To my dismay, she pulled the pin, her hoof still wrapped around the spoon.

“Flower,” Silver said, taking a carefully measured step towards Flower. “Let’s not do anything foolish here. You know that while Dust may have fired the shot, it was the ponies of the Garden that killed Brownie. And it was the Enclave pegasi that handed him over to them. All Dust did was show mercy to him.”

“No… Brownie coulda lived,” she cried. “We coulda gotten him back here and treated his wounds…”

“No, Flower,” Silver said, shaking her head. “Brownie was never going to leave that room. By the time we landed at the Garden, he was already on his last legs. He was already dying.”

“No… no…” Flower said, crying. She began pacing the room. “It can’t be true… we coulda saved him…”

I mumbled through the rags in my mouth. Silver took a step towards me and leaned down to remove the rag from my mouth.

“Flower,” I struggled to say over my dry mouth and tongue. “I loved Brownie like a brother. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him…”

“And killing him didn’t hurt him?” she shot back.

“Flower, you were there,” I reasoned. “Brownie had lost all four of his legs. You saw the blood in the room. You saw what he looked like, what he smelled like. You know he wasn’t going to last long. I am amazed he lasted as long as he did.”

“No… he coulda have lived…” she said, beginning to sob uncontrollably. “Why did ya have ta take him from me?”

“Flower, I won’t try to say I hurt as much as you do,” I admitted. “But doing what I did… what I was begged to do… is something that will haunt me for as long as I live. I see him when I sleep… I hear him when I’m awake… the only time I don’t see or hear him is is when I black out… and that’s probably only because I don’t remember anything.

“If I could take it back, I would,” I continued, watching her intently. I could feel warm tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes. She still looked tense, but at least her anger seemed to be fading. “I didn’t want to do it… I really didn’t. But what choice did I have?”

“Ah don’t… we coulda… I shoulda…” Flower began to stammer. Her head began to hang as her voice trailed off. She looked up at me, tears running down her face and snot flowing out of her nostrils. “Dust? What have ah done?”

“It’s OK, Flower, it’s OK,” I said, trying to comfort her. “Can you untie me now?”

“Sure, Dust,” she answered with a weird combination of sniffling and a chuckle. Silver kneeled down and undid all my bindings. I stood up, stomping my hooves a little bit to regain feeling.

“Oh, thank Celestia I found you all!” Gertie gasped as she rounded the door jamb.

Time seemed to slow down as I saw Flower gasp and the grenade fell from her grasp. On the way down to the floor, I saw the spoon detach from the body of the grenade.

“Grenade! Move!” I hollered as I shoved Flower and Silver away from the grenade. Moving towards it, I kicked the grenade between two nearby shelves, turned and started to gallop.

I saw Flower shove Silver to the ground behind a nearby shelving unit. I was about to dive with them, but I felt pinpricks of pain in my haunches and the heat of the explosion tickling my hindquarters. I felt something smack against the side of my head and everything went black as I saw the ground rapidly approaching.

---

The black void. Again. This was getting annoying.

“Hello? Where are you, hooded stranger?” I called out into the echoless darkness.

Fortunately, the stranger was in no mood for theatrics, either.

“Hello, Dust,” she rasped at me.

“Hello, whoever you are,” I responded. “Can we skip right to the point, please? What lesson am I supposed to learn now?”

“Lesson? You think I’m trying to teach you a lesson?” she responded.

“Isn’t this whole ordeal about teaching me a lesson?” I barked out. “About how evil the Enclave is? Or how I need to suffer for what my people did? Or the mistakes I am making?”

The robed figure chuckled softly while shaking her head. “You have it all wrong, Dust. This isn’t about teaching you a lesson. Although, I guess it would be awesome if it were that simple. And it’s not anything that I am doing to you. You are doing this all to yourself.”

“To myself?” I questioned loudly. “I wanted to kill One? I wanted to kill Brownie? I wanted Flower to nearly kill me and Silver? Riiiiiight.”

“I’m not saying you wanted it all to happen,” she answered. “But this is a path of your choosing. Did anypony force you to come down here? Did anypony force you to go after Muddy in the first place? Or back to the Fort? These are all choices you made. And right or wrong, it is what has led to this. But none of this is to teach you a lesson.”

“Then what is this all for?” I asked.

“This is life, Dust,” she said solemnly, shaking her head again. “Sometime, things just are.”

“Dust!” I heard a different, faint voice call out.

“Looks like our time here is short,” the robed figure said, looking over her shoulder.

“No, I need answers!” I shouted back.

“All in good time, Dust,” she called back as she faded from view. “All in good time.”

“No! Wait!” I yelled…

---

“No!” I shouted as I shot upright.

My head turned to take in the room in frantic fits. I was sitting in a bed inside a wooden walled room. The smell of antiseptic and decay mixed together and assaulted my nose. There were two other beds, one on either side of me, but they were empty.

“Oh, Dust!” Silver cried out. “Thank Celestia you’re OK! We were so worried!” She wrapped her legs around me and squeezed.

“What happened?” I asked, still trying to make sense of things.

“When the grenade went off, a can of beans from a nearby shelf flew and hit you across the side of the head,” she said, pulling back from her embrace. “It was a glancing blow, though. Doc said another couple of inches it would have been much worse.”

The door swung open, hitting the wall behind it, startling me. Gertie came rushing in, moving to the side of the bed opposite Silver.

“Thought we lost you there!” she cried out and wrapped me in an embrace, also. “As each day passed, I got more and more worried.”

“Days?” I asked, feeling my face twist into confusion. “How long was I out?”

Gertie and Silver looked at each other, unease etching their features. “Umm,” Gertie finally muttered. “Four days.”

“Well, shit,” I said with a sigh. “You’d think I’d be used to this by now.”

“Ahem,” a weak voice barely said from the direction of the door. It was Flower, her head hanging so low, it was almost touching the floor. “Would you all mind if ah spoke with Dust fer a little?” After a short pause, she added, “alone?”

Gertie and Silver shared uneasy looks with each other.

“It’s OK, mares,” I said with a slight chuckle, which made it feel like a spike was driven into my head. I reached up and pressed against my temples. “Ugh… I could certainly use some Med-X. Anyway, I don’t think Flower means me any harm anymore. Right, Flower?”

Flower shook her head without looking up. Gertie and Silver shared one more uneasy glance and slowly made their way out of the room. As they passed Flower, they each shot her one last glare. Flower carefully closed the door behind her and then walked up to the bed.

“Dust, ah…” she started.

“Flower,” I interrupted. “I understand why you did it. I hope I never have to understand the depth of the pain you are feeling.”

“Doesn’t make it right, Dust,” she murmured, still not looking up at me. “Ah’m embarrassed fer what ah did.”

“But you don’t have to be,” I said, trying to comfort her. “I know you didn’t really want to hurt me. And then there was the alcohol.”

She finally looked up at me. Her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were bloodshot. “Geez, Flower,” I gasped. “How long has it been since you slept?”

She sniffled and then cleared her throat. “Ah’ve lost count,” she mumbled. “Ah think ah get fifteen minutes here, ten minutes there… but ah haven’t a good night since, well, since… Ah keep seeing him, Dust. And Silver and Gertie won’t even talk to me.”

“I can talk to them… they’ll come around,” I said, placing a hoof on her shoulder. “And except for the alcohol and, for lack of a better word, the coma, I probably wouldn’t have been sleeping either.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “I hear him, sometimes.”

“Wha?” she asked, backing away, her eyes like saucers. “Who?”

“Brownie… Every now and then, I hear him,” I confided in her. “He mocks me to torture me I guess. And sometimes, One is with him.”

“D… Dust,” she gasped. “How can that be?”

“I think it’s because I blame myself for their deaths,” I muttered, hanging my head. “I’m the one that chose Silver over One. And I’m the one that pulled the trigger on…”

Flower walked over and placed her hoof over my mouth before I could finish the sentence. “Shhhh…” she whispered. “Dust, ah… we… had no idea ya were carrying this around with ya.”

“I didn’t think it was anypony else’s burden to bear,” I answered. “I told Silver a little of it… but not everything.”

She wrapped her hooves around my neck and squeezed gently. “Dust, thank you fer sharing that… and ah’m sorry,” she murmured in my ear. “Ah know ya did what needed ta be done and ah know ah couldn’t have done it… ah just didn’t know it was affecting ya the way it was.”

“Thanks, Flower,” I responded. “Look… for what it’s worth, I am sorry for Brownie. I know it was necessary, but it doesn’t mean it was something I wanted to do.”

“Ah know, Dust,” she answered. “And ah didn’t mean ta try and kill ya.”

A metallic rattling drew my attention to the tray next to the bed. The tools on the tray were rattling softly.

“What the hell?” I asked, looking intently at them.

Soft booms filtered through the walls of the shack. I looked at Flower and she looked as confused as I felt.

The door slammed open and Gertie was standing there breathlessly. “Dust, you have to come outside and see this!” Before waiting for a response, she turned and ran back down the hall.

Carefully working my way out of bed against my stiff muscles, I trotted out of the clinic and onto the street of the town. All the townsponies were facing the same way, most with their mouths hanging open.

In the distance, a large, black cloud stood out against the uniform lighter gray of the sky. Little black specks were flitting around the shape, occasionally dipping down below the horizon. Streams of black smoke wound their way upwards, blending in with the body of the ThunderHead.

“Dust?” Silver muttered from next to me. “What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. “Muddy and the General are taking the gloves off.”

Level up!

Explosives(+5)

Perk Obtained
“Misery Loves Company” - Bonds have grown deeper over a shared tragedy. When Flower is a companion, you gain 20 action points and DR increases by 5.