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The Ordinary Adventures of an Extraordinary Unicorn

by RoyalBardofCanterlot

Chapter 10: Twily and the Den of the Dirt Monsters

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Velvet entered the kitchen, put down a white pail of soapy water and blue-handled mop and sighed. The formerly white tiles of the kitchen were grey with hoof traffic. Was it really all that difficult for her husband and children to wipe their hooves? Some black soil was scattered around the brown mat that helpfully reminded everypony coming inside to wipe their hooves. The mat was cheerfully ignored by her gardening-mad husband who no doubt found the whole idea of wiping his hooves tedious as he came back and forth through the house to get gardening supplies.

She might as well just set up a tent outside for him. Her son and daughter tried to be more careful, but in the vigor of their play they too often rushed through her kitchen tracking in mud, dirt and grass. Shining was the worst offender, constantly marching back and forth as he pretended to be a guard. She loved him so she didn't strangle him. That went for his father too.

Twilight was not the outside type, but the poor darling was often so distracted with her muzzle in a book that the concept of the world around her vanished in a haze. Velvet didn't want to do anything to discourage her occasional outdoor ventures, but she had to think of a way to remind her to wipe her hooves before bouncing into the kitchen.

Velvet cast a disdainful eye towards the pile of plates in the sink. That one was entirely her fault. The dirty mess was a result of her neuroticism. She didn't forbid her children from doing the dishes-that'd just be silly-but she didn't encourage it either. For some reason, the dishes were never as clean when they did it as when she did it. And they were thorough, she knew they were thorough, but the dishes never looked clean enough when Shining or Twilight did it. It also didn't look clean enough when they mopped the kitchen floor. Which was why she did it herself.

Sometimes, nothing ever looked clean enough. Her eye slightly twitched. Night Light just stayed out of the kitchen except when he needed to use the back door to prune his petunias or whatever he was doing in the garden.

Probably staying away from his crazy wife, crazy daughter and hyper son. Velvet couldn't blame him. She glanced out a window and smiled as she saw Shining and Night Light playing with toy swords. Twilight was outside as well, scampering around in a pith helmet. The day was warm, pleasant. She'd finish this up and go outside.

She picked up the mop, dipped it in the water which swirled around the cloth tendrils and lifted it. Water droplets splashed on the floor, golden as they caught the sunlight. She whistled a happy spring tune as she drew the mop across the floor, leaving streaks of water amid the dirt and dust.

It was at that moment that a purple blur darted into the kitchen and jumped over the mat.

Daring Do carefully observed her surroundings. She seemed to be in a mausu-mausu-tomb. She appeared to be in ancient grey tomb. The only light that filtered through the darkness were torches that glowed with an unearthly fire. Surely, she was in the Tomb of Grogar and the heart of accursed Tambelon.

Carefully, so as to not awaken the sleeping goat demon, she made her way forward. After escaping the clutches of the Tickle Monsters she had trekked through endless jungles that never saw the light of the sun, weird shapes and forms of life crawling and creeping upon the floor which was carpeted with mushrooms and yellowed moss.

Daring shot forward, lifting into the air and soaring over the grey stone. Patterns were carved into the walls. She paused and examined them. An ancient guardian stood, holding a spear and staring at her with a look between mad and amused.

Velvet nearly yelled when Twilight had trailed dirt on the tile she had been about to clean. She had nearly banished her to the corner or given her a firm smack across her bottom.

She couldn't. The little purple unicorn filly was bouncing in circles as she made whooshing sounds and mumbled things about Grogar. Velvet felt a strong urge to take the little bundle of joy in her lap and give her a nice, long cuddle. Twilight probably wouldn't appreciate her playtime being interrupted though.

Twilight bounced again, hopping into the air and Velvet felt her heart melt into a little puddle.

Daring's pith helmet clattered to the ground and she quickly picked it back up. Who knew what terrible dangers lurked in the darkness and shadows? The guardian stood, continuing to watch her. She soared in circles, rushing up to the ceiling where there were yet more inscribed symbols!

Daring finally recognized the language of her distant ancestors, the accomplished Ponies of the Dream Valley Civilization. She traced her hoof over the script of a wilder age, wondering what it said. Did it tell where some ancient treasure was? Was it not said that Heart Throb, Megan's faithful companion, had left her necklace in the shadows of the dead city of Tambelon? Or perhaps she could find the Spear of Firefly the Bold who had plunged his blade into Grogar's heart? Such relics would fetch a handsome price.

Velvet returned to mopping, though an idea was forming in her mind. A grin spread across her face. "Oh Twi...I mean, Daring?"

Daring paused in her inspection of the tomb as the guardian addressed her. She lifted up her strange spear, as if offering it to her. Cautiously, Daring approached. Turning behind her, she saw what the guardian was trying to warn her about. Giant dirt monsters rose up from the muck and mire of the tomb like giant, wiggly worms. Dust was kicked up as they charged towards her.

With the skill one would expect an adventurer to have, Daring quickly sidestepped the savage beasts as they crashed to the hard granite. With a warcry worthy of the warrior-pegasii of old she charged. The dirt monsters returned to whatever hell they had come through as she mowed through them. She stepped to her right and watched as two dirt monsters crashed into each other, leaving a spray of dirt scattering everywhere.

She spun her spear in a wide arc driving back the beasts and beating up the dust that had lain for untold millenia. The dust began to merge together, eldi-elidi-elidi-strange magic causing dust monsters to form. Daring ran straight ahead, dragging the point of the blade against the stone. Jets of fire licked upwards and devoured the dust monsters.

Daring's eyes widened as she realized the magical properties of the spear! It could shoot out fire! She ran and lost her balance. A dust monster pulled out a bow, strung an arrow and sent it right through her knee.

Velvet winced as Twilight tripped. The mop was thrown from her magical grasp, falling with a clatter. Twilight ended up with her horn stuck in the wall and her front right knee banging hard on the floor. She rushed over, helped pull her daughter's horn from the wall and gently kissed Twilight's knee (her horn was fine as a unicorn horn was pretty much designed to impale things). "Better?"

Twilight sniffled and her lips turned upwards. "Better. Thank you, Mommy." She wrapped her hooves around Velvet's barrel. Velvet returned the embrace.

Twilight fixed her pith helmet back on her head with her magic and picked the mop back up, even though most of the floor was now sparkling. Only one part still needed to be mopped.

Daring narrowed her eyes as she came face to face with the dust monster that had nearly put an end to her days as an adventurer. Using her powerful magics the guardian had healed her knee. With a shout Daring spun the spear and barreled towards the demon. It crumbled away.

Velvet handed her a towel after using a burst of magic to repair the horn shaped hole in the wall. Twilight pounced on the towel and shouted in glee as she ran it over the floor. In only a few seconds the floor was completely dry.

In the eyes of a child all things are wondrous. A poet Velvet had read had penned those words two centuries before. How true it was. She poured herself a glass of lemonade and took a sip, wondering if it was wrong to trick Twilight into doing housework then looked back at Twilight who seemed to be having the time of her life as she pranced around the towel.

She went and fetched another towel from the linen closet. It was time to start on the dishes. Then, she glanced back at Twilight who was staring at a sunspot, either contemplating a nap or planning an experiment.

Daring stood upon the platform staring at the ruins of the sunken city of Atlantis. According to her guide a great treasure was buried at the bottom of the ruins. Daring dived into the warm water, sliding down a river of heated liquid. Bubbles popped up and floated all around her. She swam down farther and farther. Formerly proud, broken spires rose up all around her as she explored the submerged metropolis.

The warm water seeped into the fur of her forelegs. A friendly sea serpent floated by. Daring raced to the bottom. Pearls and golden coins glittered around the hull of a ship that had found its end at the bottom of Atlantis. Her partner collected the treasures she brought up, storing them for later categorization.

At last she came to the bottom. There was no treasure. Her lips jutted out in a pout. The pout vanished, transforming into a grin as her partner held up the Golden Apple of Eternal Youth.

Velvet handed the fig newton to Twilight who quickly gobbled it all up. "Daring, I think there are some more dust monsters in the living room."

Twilight didn't need to be told twice, taking the offered rag and racing out of the kitchen.

It was just as her partner had told her! The Temple of Rakan was infested with dust monsters! Wielding the magic banner, she waved it over the altar, making sure to chase the dust monsters out of the old, hallowed space.

Her partner handed her a spear while she held a shield. Quickly, Daring cut through the dust monsters until none were left. She found herself growing out of breath. Today had been just full of adventures!

Velvet took the dustpan and threw the dirt Twilight had swept up into the garbage. Twilight yawned and stretched. Velvet opened the door and Twilight scampered out into the bright, sunny day. Shining and Night Light were digging, Night Light occasionally laying down seed. Twilight hopped over to go see what they were doing and Night Light handed her a packet of seed. Velvet lay down in the grass, smiling as she watched her family.

Next Chapter: Twily and the Dragon's Bath Estimated time remaining: 8 Minutes
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