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The Phoenix of the Wasteland

by Deneld the Unspooked

Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

The dusty wheelbarrow baked under the scorching desert sun, waiting to be filled with barrels of water by Our Town's most esteemed heavy lifter, Party Favor, who stood by for the town merchant to conclude a deal with this season's caravan from Appleoosa. He, being rather dull and uninterested in such issues, kept himself occupied with the sight of tumbleweeds coasting with the wind. He had a large, ridiculous grin plastered on his face. Everyone did, but his was the biggest. He loved life in Our Town because the simple life it offered him complimented his simple character. Everything was simpler in a small town where everyone was equal to each other by law, by custom, and even by mark.

In some short distance to his left, he overheard a conversation that included a voice entirely new to him. Although he couldn't make out the words, the deep bass spoke in a hard and guttural foreign accent that couldn't help but remind him of some far-off land of dense pine forests and carpets of snow. Party Favor looked in the voice's direction, and he saw the town's ever vigilant second-in-command, Double Diamond, talking to a large figure in a dusty hooded cloak and brown rucksack, perhaps to be mistaken for a career plow-puller if not for the greenish-brown horn protruding from his forehead and the white, sand-stained goatee on the part of his face not covered by the hood. Party Favor trotted over to the two so he could greet the newcomer.

He soon got in close enough to hear Double Diamond's voice.

“So, where do you come from, friend?”

“I come from a land far away," the figure replied. "A land that you have never heard of, nor should you.”

Double Diamond blinked. “Um, okay. So what's your name?”

The figure stroked his beard. “Name? I have not gone by any name in a long, long time. I have not needed one.”

“No name? Why wouldn't you need a name?”

“I have been spending over two score years wandering about the desert, traveling from town to town, and living off the land. I have not needed to be on a name-to-name basis with anyone since I was about your father's age.”

Party Favor chimed in, “Hey, Double D! Who's our new friend?”

“I don't know. At least, I don't know what to call him.” Double Diamond turned to the hooded one. “We'll just call you 'Wanderer' from now on. Are you okay with that?”

“I do not mind. I only intend to stay for a night, if you will have me.”

“Of course we will! Come. I'll introduce you to the town mayor, Starlight Glimmer.”

“Can I come with?” asked Party Favor.

“Sorry, brother. You need to carry the water, remember?”

Party Favor's eyes fell to the ground as he let out a hearty sigh. “Yeah. I know.” He turned and walked back to the trade depot as Double Diamond escorted the Wanderer to the mayor's house.


The house's interior was blandly rustic, with little in the way of décor. A framed picture of an equal sign, the same symbol emblazoned on every flank in Our Town, hung beside the door to the front, below the staircase. The Wanderer slipped his hood back from off his head. The Wanderer's tired beige eyes and thinning white mane reminded Double Diamond of his own grandfather, who lived in the mountains. His throat stuffed itself into a lump as he thought of home. He tried to swallow his sadness. He didn't want to look sad in front of the town mayor.

The Wanderer's eyes snapped to him. “Something troubling you, boy?”

“N-no. I'm a-okay!”

The Wanderer nodded, perhaps in approval at Double Diamond's toughness. “Starlight!” shouted Diamond, “We have a guest! Do you want to meet him?”

“I'll be right there!” replied a mare's voice from behind the door. After a brief moment, the door swung open, and from the opening emerged the mayor, with a grin more reasonable than those of the other town residents, but still eerie.

“Hi there, friend!” she said, “We're always happy to see new faces in our humble little village. So, what's your name?”

“You can call me Wanderer. At least, that is what yours have taken to calling me.”

“Well, don't you have a name of your own?”

“Not that I remember.”

“He's a wanderer,” Double Diamond interjected, “he says he's been just walking around in the desert for 'two score years,' whatever that means.”

Starlight gasped; her eyes grew in an exaggeratedly concerned look. “That's... that's forty years. You know that, right? He's been stranded in the desert since before any of us were born.” She turned to the Wanderer. “You must be famished. Please, go into my refrigerator and help yourself. Go in the way I came out.”

“Thanks,” said the Wanderer. As the Wanderer plodded forward get food and drink, Starlight looked to Double Diamond and rested a hoof on his shoulder.

Starlight turned around to speak quietly with Double Diamond. “We need to be extra nice to the old stallion. The town could really use somepony who knows the lay of the land. He might know where we can find some groundwater. Do you know how expensive it is to buy water from the caravans?”

Double Diamond struggled to hold back tears as his heart sunk deep into his chest, and the lump in his throat grew larger. “Yeah. I know. We had to sell Offbeat's family heirloom that one time. And I don't even want to think about Sugar Belle's foal...”

“Right. And keep an eye on him. It's a shock he hasn't dropped dead by now. Let me know when he starts coughing up blood or something, okay?”

Double Diamond nodded before going into the kitchen to check on the Wanderer, hearing the front door shut behind him. He saw the Wanderer having already set up his own dish of bread, apples, and water.

The Wanderer magically lifted an apple up from off the plate. His eyes narrowed with curiosity as he examined the apple. Double Diamond watched as he sniffed the apple before taking a tiny bite from it.

“Hm. Sweet,” mumbled the Wanderer. His eyes switched between Double Diamond and the apple a couple times as he took violent bites from it. “What is the matter, boy? Have you never seen someone eat before?”

“Um, n-no.”

“And why are you always smiling like that? Why does everyone in this town smile like that? It is as if I have landed in some strange cult. It would not be the first time that has happened.”

Double Diamond's face strained itself into an expression closer to something “normal”. “I'm sorry, Wanderer. We're just concerned is all.”

The Wanderer snorted. “Yes, I know. I am old, so everyone thinks that I am weak. And I presume your mayor told you to stay with me to monitor my health?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course. Just let me finish my food. Is that understood, boy? I do not require your presence.”

“Gosh, Wanderer, I dunno. She told me to keep an eye on you. I really don't want to disobey her.”

“Ah, so she's that kind of mayor. Very well. Then sit here on the table and try not to talk too much.”

“Yes, sir.”

Double Diamond pulled back a chair opposite of the Wanderer and sat. He did nothing but meditate on the grains of the wooden table as his ears filled with the sounds of sloppy eating. The Wanderer gobbled down his food in short order, leaving water and apple juice stains on the table. After the Wanderer finished, he got up and walked back to the living room. Double Diamond shuffled his way next to the Wanderer, whose attention was fixed on the scenery.

“So, do you want to see the guest room?” asked Double Diamond.

“Is it upstairs?”

“Yeah.”

“And I suppose you are going to ask if you can help me up the stairs, like a good boy scout.”

“You can do it yourself?”

“And for your own sake, do not forget it.”

Double Diamond sighed. “Yes, sir.”

Just then, the front door creaked open. Starlight emerged from it, levitating a large bottle of shampoo in front of her.

“Oh, hey, Wanderer! I just thought you'd feel better after you've washed up. It's getting late. I don't think you'd like to go to bed being so dirty, and future guests probably wouldn't appreciate it either. The shower is upstairs.”

Starlight and the Wanderer exchanged magical grips on the bottle. “Thanks,” he said. He turned around, then climbed the stairs in the direction of the bathroom. Starlight was right to think that he'd rather not sleep dirty.


It was the crack of dawn when the Wanderer's crust-filled eyes opened after a rock-hard slumber. With a groan, he magically tossed the blanket down to the foot of the bed, revealing the mess of large, poorly healed scars on his skin, with a bulky musculature and visible ribs underneath. The mattress creaked as he pushed himself up from it. 'I had not had a proper bed to sleep in for quite a while,' he thought to himself. He bowed his head down over the bed in reverence, and prayed: "We art blessed by thee, Great Lord Almighty, that we art allowed another day. Our faith shall not yield, as it never must, for thy word is law, and thy rule is just. Thy glory shines for all to see, and our path shalt never go astray. Duty. Honor. Courage. Everlasting loyalty."

After worship, he lifted his head back up, and started his morning training routine. Whatever anyone else might have thought, his age didn't hinder the rigorous bodyweight exercise program that maintained his form. Like his prayer, it was routine drilled into him long ago, back when he still had a place to call home. He trained for about an hour without break, and because he did so in a cool room indoors, he hardly broke a sweat by the time he was done.

Once he made the bed and left the guest room, he heard a light snore from down the hall to his right. His turned his face in that direction to find the door to Starlight's room wide open, and beyond that, Starlight, herself, with her blanket tossed aside like an unwanted toy. The Wanderer turned around to eat breakfast. At least, he would have if he hadn't noticed blotches of blue in what looked like Starlight's equal mark having faded partially. 'It is not like nobody has ever pulled that trick before,' he thought to himself, 'and a little dirt can be useful to have sometimes.'

He crept into the bathroom, careful not to be too noisy. After a delicate closing of the door, he levitated the guest's towel from off the rack, and held it under the showerhead before running the water over it. Once the towel was wet, he switched the shower off and wrung the towel over the drain, watching as excess water hit the floor and slid down the drain.

With towel in magical grip, he left the bathroom and entered Starlight's bedroom. 'The mayor does look adorable when she is asleep,' he thought. After some quiet steps, he stood over her, close enough to see the expanding and contracting of her chest as she breathed. Gently with the towel, he wiped Starlight's flank, smearing the towel with paint and revealing the true mark underneath, confirming his suspicions.

“Figures,” the Wanderer mumbled.

He sneaked back into the bathroom. Once more, he ran the towel through water from the showerhead. The colors were reluctant to leave the towel, but given enough time, they relented, and became hardly noticeable on the cloth. He hung it back on the rack, ensuring that the unstained part faced forward, then went downstairs to eat breakfast. He didn't plan on overstaying his welcome. He still hadn't found what he was searching for in the wastes, and he wanted to leave Our Town as soon as possible.


With the the rays of the bright morning sky shining through the living room window, and his rucksack slung on his back, the Wanderer whipped his hood over his head and opened the front door. The hot air rushed through his nostrils as he took a hearty breath and looked down at the community of smiling townsfolk down the road. The soulless voids that were their eyes were sights all too familiar to the Wanderer. He paused, lost for a moment in wondering if his own eyes were just as soulless as theirs. He didn't dwell long, however; he resumed his trek back into the Wasteland.

As he made his way out of the town, he heard a commotion spreading throughout the town. He paid little mind to it. 'This town's problems are not mine,' he thought to himself. The whispers and mumbles around him grew louder the further he went. Eventually, he heard the thunderous trampling of hooves behind him and a mare calling out to him. “Wanderer! Wait! Stop!”

The Wanderer turned back to find Starlight already within feet of him. 'She is a fairly swift runner,' he thought, 'or perhaps a desperate one.'

Starlight took a moment to catch her breath. “Why are you leaving?” she yelled. “Don't tell me you'd rather stay in that lifeless desert than in my town!”

“I have spent decades in the Wasteland in search for something precious to me. I have not found it yet, and your town is not so special that I would give up decades of work to spend the rest of my days in it.”

Starlight raised a single eyebrow. “Well, what is it that you're looking for out there?”

“Redemption.” He turned his back to Starlight and continued on, but she scampered around and in front of him. 'Cults do tend to be clingy with their prospective recruits,' he reminded himself.

Starlight puffed. “Have you thought that maybe your redemption is here, with us, in Our Town?”

“What redemption could I possibly find in your town, above all others?”

Starlight rubbed her chin. “Hmm... maybe your problem is you've been going about your search the wrong way. Do you know what they call doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?”

“I do.”

The corners of Starlight's lips curled into a confident smile. “Well, that's a pretty accurate word to describe your approach to the situation. Your dedication is very admirable, but it clearly hasn't been effective. Come live with us. We can help you find what you've been looking for for so long.”

“You make a compelling argument. But what is the catch?”

“You can call it a 'catch' if you want, but really, the only thing you have to do is go through the Equalization Process.”

“I am not interested in your hazing ritual. I am, however, weary from many years of travel. If you were to let me take temporary residence in your town for, say, six months without going through your hazing, then you would have ample opportunity to change my mind.”

Starlight's smile slunk away. “I'm sorry, but I can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“That would be... unprecedented. It would be entirely antithetical to our worldview. I can't let you do that. I'm sorry, but you'll have to come up with something else.”

“I would not be the first.”

“What do you mean?” she snapped back.

“I think you know exactly what I mean.”

Starlight's mouth suddenly let on a vindictive snarl, and her eyes took on a fierce gaze sharp enough to cut glass. She brought her face to the side of the indifferent face of the Wanderer, so that he could feel her breath in his ear through his hood as she whispered. “Listen here, you old bag. I don't know how you figured me out, but I suggest you forget whatever it is you saw or heard and give me your cutie mark before I turn you to dust right here.”

“Ma'am,” he whispered back, “would you really hurt an elderly stallion?”

“Do you think I wouldn't?”

“Mmm." He paused. "I think you would. I can see it in your eyes. You remind me of someone I knew back in my glory days. Before you make a rather tragic mistake, might I ask you a few things?”

“Hmph. Fine.”

“You are an Equestrian, correct?”

“I am.”

“Province?”

“Canterlot.”

“Of noble birth?”

“Get to the point.”

“We do not have to be enemies. We can be friends, and you can be very powerful.”

“How powerful are we talking?”

“Powerful enough to give your Celestia a run for her money.”

Starlight's face lit up with an excited curiosity. “Oh, do tell...”

The Wanderer took a brief pause, taking mental note of Starlight's fickle disposition. “Have you heard the story of the Gem of Mount Athon?”

“Tell me.”

He drawed out a long breath. “Over four thousand years ago, all the Elements of Harmony were within one single gem, in the ancient Canterlot Castle, and Equestria was in a civil war where armies of Celestia and Luna fought against armies of another god, from Tartarus. It was a fierce and bloody war. In one decisive battle, Celestia's enemies invaded Canterlot, and burned it to the ground. This is how this other god got possession of this gem. However, its powers could only be activated by Celestia or Luna. For spite, this god put a curse on the gem so that they could only activate it in conjunction with him.

"Much later, when he lost the war and was banished to this very Wasteland, he locked the gem in Mount Athon, and created a vast army of stone centaurs out of the very mountains in which they stand dormant.

"As you might already know, all the unicorn Canterlot nobility have distant blood ties to the dual princesses, including you. As for my part, that's a story for another day, but you get the point already, do you not?”

“What exactly would we be conquering with this miraculous army of rock-creatures?”

“There is a vast civilization north of here, where I come from, along a vast river that goes many miles down the eastern mountain range. Suffice it to say if you thought ponies only came from Equestria, you were gravely mistaken.”

“And how do I know this isn't all a steaming load of garbage that you're using to get over on me? This does sound just a little too good to be true.”

“If I had any ill will towards you, do you not think I would have revealed your secret to everyone in your town by now?”

“And how do I know this isn't all just crazed rambling from a senile old kook?”

“I am sure I have already proven that I am far from senile.”

“And I can use my power to create true harmony in this brave new world?”

“I do not see why I should oppose you on those grounds. By what little I have seen, your way seems to work adequately.”

“And what about your 'redemption'?”

“I think that will come with the journey rather than the destination. Perhaps my years of searching have finally paid off.”

“Hmm...” Starlight stepped back a few paces. She spoke at normal volume. “You have yourself a deal, Wanderer. I'm still skeptical – you have no way of proving your honesty, after all – but I have a good feeling about this one. But if this turns up nothing, then consider yourself dead.” She extended her hoof for a shake.

The Wanderer reciprocated the gesture. “I look forward to working with you, Miss Glimmer.”

Starlight turned her attention to the rest of the town to make an announcement. “Attention, everypony! I have great news!” The crowd swarmed around her like a flock of birds. “This Wanderer, this kind old gentleman... has generously offered to help us find groundwater! Isn't that amazing folks!?”

“We can finally have running water, like you!” one in the crowd said.

“I can finally wash the dirt off my face!” said another.

“And I can play watersports!”

Starlight continued. “Yes, it's true. And I will accompany him and help him find groundwater for us. But it's going to be a long and arduous task, so we need a volunteer to help us carry supplies. And Party Favor will be our volunteer! Come forward, Party Favor!”

Party Favor, in a sea of cheering and applause, galloped to Starlight, his face beaming with enthusiasm.

“Wanderer, will you escort Party Favor through the commercial district and help him pick out the supplies we need? They'll give you whatever you need, free of charge. Make the most of it.”

“Gladly.” He motioned to Party Favor. “Come. You are going to have quite the heavy burden to carry, boy.”

“I'll try my best,” he said with a sigh, still grinning the town's widest grin.

Double Diamond approached Starlight sheepishly. “What are we to do while you're gone, Starlight?”

“Until I get back, you're in charge. Just... don't let in any outsiders. Merchants are fine, but I really can't have the town accepting new friends if I'm not around to make sure their intentions are pure. Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Excellent. I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job.” She patted him on the head, reassuring him of her confidence in him, because she was fairly sure he needed all the reassurance he could get. Next Chapter: Chapter 2 Estimated time remaining: 8 Hours, 42 Minutes

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The Phoenix of the Wasteland

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