As a crossover, this chapter can’t really be updated with the rest of them. Though, the other story may be cancelled anyway... We’ll, anyway, I won’t do another crossover for a long while, if ever.

Regardless, while I wouldn’t mind changing some of ol’ Sheogorath’s dialogue everything is relatively fine as it is. I’ll just focus on the rest of the story.

A few important things happened in this chapter. Not just Sheogorath's precious kitten being rescued.

Crossover with The Reluctant Gunman by thunderclap

Jeeves was droning on and on about the ongoings of the realm. Who had problems with that and who had problems with this, none of it mattered! Sheogorath knew he should be paying attention, because the realm can’t run itself... oh, now that’s an idea. A self running realm of Oblivion! Well, when you rule a realm for so long all the problems seem so insignificant so the mind tends to wander. Something new needed to happen, this was simply too... Boring!

As Sheogorath was simply sitting on his throne, he let out a dramatic sigh. Interrupting Jeeve’s report he said, “Oh Jeeves, so much is going on. Mortals scurrying for those precious minutes of their lives. Work to be done. Sweetrolls to be buttered and shoved down the throats of unsuspecting diabetics, and I’m just sitting here… bored out of my mind!” He flung a hand up into the air, palm up, and said, “Oh, when will something interesting happen in my realm-”

His speech was interrupted by a flash of metal and an object dropping lightly into his palm, “Oh? What’s this then? A bullet? How... interesting.”

“I am Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of peace. If you fight to defend peace and the lives of others then I will be more than willing to help. Just call on me and together we will create… LOVE AND PEACE!”

“Oh! What marvelous item have I come across?! Is this something that can possibly cure my boredom?! Hahaha! Yes!” Sheogorath cackled, he calmed down after the bout of laughter. Sheogorath pinched the bullet between his index finger and thumb, “Very well! Vash the Stampede! I call on you! Do be hasty now...”

Sheogorath felt that the dimensional barriers of his realm were touched by something. He allowed the foreign being access and directed them to the foot of the stairs of his throne. A swirling green portal opened up and a tall, spiky haired blonde man wearing a red duster walked through it. The blonde man let out a loud yawn before opening his eyes and realizing he had been summoned away.

“Aww man, who’s summoning me this time?” He asked looking around the room. “I’ve still got a lot of work to do on that Changeling village.”

“Hah! Quite the mouth on ya mortal! Look up here then,” Sheogorath purred.

Vash did as he was told and his eyes bugged out as he cried, “Jumping cheese wheels Batman, it’s Sheogorath!”

Sheogorath cackled, “Oh, I knew this would be entertaining!” He calmed down a bit and wiped away a tear, “Now, do ya have any idea why I called ya here mortal?”

“First,” Vash said holding up a finger. “My lifespan is an indeterminate amount of time so the mortal thing may not really apply to me. Second, how the hell should I know? You’re the Prince of Madness. You could’ve called me for anything from unbelievable psychological trauma to kissing a bottlenose dolphin.”

Sheogorath grinned, “Quite the mouth on ya indeed mortal. You don’t need it do you?” He glared, “You have longevity, not immortality. Second! You’re quite right! How should ya know?! I don’t even know either! Or maybe I do…” His glared turned into a grin.

“Alright, sorry about mouthing off,” Vash sighed. “You just summoned me before breakfast, that’s all. So, why did you call me over to your neck of the multiverse?”

“I don’t know anything about a multiverse, but I do have a little proposition for ya. If yer interested. I only require you to do a simple task for me.”

“I get the feeling that your simple task won’t be so simple,” Vash started. “But, what the hell, I’ll listen to what you’ve got to say.”

“Ha! Of course ya will! Not like ya got much choice in the matter now is it?” He grinned, “All I want ya to do is rescue my kitten.”

“Ooh, and let me guess, the twist is your kitten is either a manticore or a chimera?” Vash asked, pointing at the mad god.

“Ha! Neither! But I won’t ruin the surprise. I only require you to bring him back to my realm, without a single scratch on him! Can ya do that mortal?”

“I think I might,” Vash said with a smirk. “I can dodge automatic weapon fire and survive Celestia and Luna’s estrus fueled frenzy. I can handle protecting a kitten.”

“Wonderful! You’ll do nicely then! Now before I send ya off, ya need Mr Fluffle’s leash!” Sheogorath turned to the strict looking pony lookalike to his left, “Jeeves! Bring me… ‘The Leash’!”

Jeeves bowed and teleported away in a swirl of purple energy.

Sheogorath looked back down at Vash, “Once he gets that leash you’ll notice a little gem at the top of it. Pay attention mortal, this is important. You just need to go to that uh… Baggy Bosh. No, Berry Bogg? Ah, whatever! It’s a marsh near that pony town just outside my gate! Mr Fluffles is there and before ya bring him back ya need to drop that gem in the middle of the marsh. Did yer mortal brain get that?”

“Got it, take gem to marsh of indeterminate name and drop said gem in the middle of said marsh. Also, can I ask you a question?”

“Aye, speak yer peace mortal. Just don’t take too long, I can feel Jeeves is almost done.”

“Well, since you’re Sheogorath and I’m doing a quest for you, shouldn’t I get a Wabbajack?”

Sheogorath laughed, “Well aren’t you presumptuous! Ah, don’t worry. You’ll get a Wabbajack, and if ya do a good enough job ya can even leave with yer eyes intact! Ah! Here comes Jeeves.” He looked down and to the right of Vash. The same swirl of purple energy announced the arrival of the chamberlain.

Jeeves looked at Vash and held out a long staff that had the faces of screaming ponies along it’s length. A purple gem rested at the top, glowing with power. “Here you go sir, try and not lose it.”

“You don’t have to worry about that Jeeves,” Vash said with a smile. “The only things I’ve lost in my life are my virginity and my mind. And one of those things was a temporary loss.”

Jeeves looked at Vash with no emotion, “I might not understand mortal biology, but that doesn’t seem possible.” After handing the staff over he turned and walked up the stairs of the throne to stand next to Sheogorath once more.

“Aint he a hoot?!” Laughed Sheogorath.

“Hey, someone’s got to play the straight man to ya,” Vash chuckled back. “So, can you point me to the exit so I can begin my epic quest to find and protect Mr. Fluffles!” he called out valiantly, staff held high.

Sheogorath looked at Jeeves, “Where is that marsh? I forget what the mortals call the place.”

Jeeves sighed and looked at Vash, “It’s called Froggy Bottom Bogg. It is south of the town the mortal ponies call, ugh, Ponyville. I recommend you ask for directions when you get there.”

“Seriously, Ponyville?” Vash asked with a sigh. “What, did they just run out of horse puns or something?”

“Who knows?! Now you’d best be off now. Would you like a little push out of my realm to speed things along?” Asked Sheogorath sweetly.

“That depends, when you say a little push, do you mean a boot to the head? Or something else that will send me hurtling and screaming to crash to the ground?”

“Of course not!” He exclaimed gleefully.

“Alright, send me to… ugh Ponyville, please.”

Sheogorath chuckled, “Oh I can’t send ya directly to the little mortal village. A little too far from my portal in the mortal realm ya see.”

“Okay, then send me as close to the town as possible, please. And there better not be a monster nest there.” Vash muttered under his breath.

“Don’t worry! It’s just about two hundred feet over the lake!” And with that Sheogorath gathered power in his right hand and swept it in front of him in a shooing motion. A push of power flung Vash through a portal and out into the mortal realm over a large lake.

Vash’s eyes widened as gravity took hold of him and sent him on a direct course with the lake. “Damn you Sheogorath!” Vash cried as he positioned his body like a cliff diver and prayed to whatever deity that would listen that he would survive the fall. In an instant, he breached the water and nearly whooped for joy that he lived. He then made for the nearest shore and pulled himself onto land. He pulled his revolver from his holster and opened the chamber.

“Dammit, I hope this thing works if I need it later,” he growled as he holstered the weapon. “Ok, so where’s that town?” Vash took a quick look around and noticed what looked like a camp. “Nice, let’s hope they’re willing to let me dry my clothes.” With that, Vash made his way over to the camp and made sure to stay out in the open so they wouldn’t think he was an assailant of some kind.

When he got to the gate of the camp a guard shouted, “Hault! Who are you?”

“My name is Vash the Stampede,” Vash called out. “I simply want some directions and a fire to warm up and dry my clothes by. I mean no harm.”

The guard seemed to look him over before nodding, “Very well, proceed through the gate. There is a brazier to the left, you can dry your clothes there.” The guard pointed with his spear. “Don’t try anything funny, we’re on high alert here.”

“You don’t have to worry about me sir,” Vash replied as he snapped a salute. “I would never disrespect someone’s hospitality.” The guard then opened the gate, allowing Vash inside. He followed the instructions and huddled around the brazier gratefully. “Oh yeah, that feels a lot better. I swear, if I had known that I’d wind up in situations like this, I’d have never made that damn token,” he muttered under his breath.

“Hmm? You say something?” A patrolling guard said to Vash.

“Just griping about falling into that lake,” Vash replied with a chuckle. “I feel like an idiot for doing that. Say, since you’ve stopped to talk to me, do you know where I can find Ponyville? That’s where I was heading before I took an unscheduled bath.”

The guard blinked, “Well, Ponyville is a five minute walk that way.” He pointed with a hoof, “Just west of here. And don’t worry, I won’t ask about the lake business.”

“Thanks for the directions. And as for the lake thing. I was looking at a map and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Nothing too embarrassing, but stupid nonetheless. Plus, I lost a perfectly good map,” Vash lied. Not wanting to say that a mad god had teleported him.

The talkative guard stared at Vash in silence, before smiling, “Ah, don’t worry about it! Happens to the best of us. Take care now, and try to avoid any mad ponies in the forests.” The guard nodded at Vash and resumed his patrol. Vash let out a sigh of relief and continued to warm himself by the fire. Once he felt he was sufficiently dry enough, he exited the camp and followed the friendly guard’s instructions.

After an uneventful few minutes of walking Vash finally arrived on the outskirts of a small town. Ponyville, if he were to guess. Deciding that he would probably need a map, or at the very least look at one he decided to try and find the nearest place. Vash stopped a random pony, a brown stallion with a black mane.

“Excuse me, do you know where I can find a map?” Vash asked. The stallion pointed to a large tree, it was the town’s library. “Thank you. Here, a bit for your trouble,” Vash said as he fished out a coin from his coin bag and flipped it over to the stallion with a grin.

The stallion looked at it and said, “Wow! A vintage bit from before Nightmare Moon! And in such good condition! Thank you kind sir!” The stallion turned around and ran off, a large grin on his face at his lucky find.

“I think I just made somepony a bit richer,” Vash punned as he snickered at the dumb joke. “Alright, best get to that map. I’ve got an epic quest to complete after all,” Vash walked over to the library and knocked on the door.

“It’s open! Sheesh, it’s a public library!” Yelled a boyish voice. The door to the library opened and revealed a small purple dragon. His eyes widened when he saw Vash, “Whoa, you’re a tall one dude.”

“That’s because I drank a lot of milk and ate all my green vegetables,” Vash joked.

Spike deadpanned, “Riiight. Well come on in I guess. Whatcha lookin’ for?” Spike opened the door wider and motioned for Vash to come in.

“I just need a map of the local area, nothing major,” Vash answered as he entered the library and looked around the room. “Nice place ya got here, but aren’t you a little young to be running a library?”

Spike closed the door and walked over to a shelf, “I don’t run this place, Twilight does. I’m her number one assistant!” Spike said proudly, grabbing a roll of paper. “Well, it’s a little outdated, the new ones haven’t come in yet. But those aren’t updated for Ponyville.” Spike handed the map over to Vash.

Vash scanned the map and asked, “Okay so would this be the general location we’re in since Ponyville isn’t on it.” He showed the map to Spike as he pointed at a spot below the Everfree Forest.

Spike scanned the map then nodded, “Yup! That looks about right! Where do you need to go anyway? I can probably point it out to you.”

“A place called Froggy Bottom Bogg,” Vash answered.

The baby dragon shuddered, “Ugh, why would you want to go there? Well, it should be around here. On the west most side of the Everfree.” Spike pointed a claw at the point on the map. “When the ground gets muddy and hard to walk through… you’ve been to the right place.”

“Good thing I’m wearing my boots,” Vash said with a weak grin. “Thanks for the map, I’ll be seeing you around… uh?”

“Spike,” he held out a clawed hand.

“Vash,” he replied as he accepted the hand and shook it.

“You can keep the map if you want it. We have tons in storage,” Spike said.

“Sorry, I don’t take handouts. Here,” Vash said as he flipped a bit to Spike. “That should cover it. Thanks for the map my scaly friend,” he said as he turned to walk out the door.

Spike looked at the bit and said, “Oh, a vintage bit! Twilight would love this! Thanks Vash!” Spike waved goodbye and slowly closed the door behind Vash. “And good luck in the Bog!”

Vash waved without turning back to the dragon and whistled a tune to himself as he idled his way toward the undoubtedly dangerous bog. Vash looked around the town and chuckled to himself at how quaint it all was. Most of the buildings had thatched roofs. Still, the ponies all looked happy enough and smiled as he walked down the streets.

“Excuse me, but would you like to talk about our Lord and savior Sheogorath?” Vash raised an eyebrow and looked to where he heard the voice. A mint green unicorn was going from house to house, knocking on doors and trying to get ponies to convert and worship Sheogorath. The doors were all slammed in her face however.

‘Huh, they even have things like this in Equestria. I wonder if she has pamphlets like some of them do?’

The mint green unicorn sighed, but put on a determined faced and continued on. Until she saw Vash and stopped in the street. Her eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion. She rubbed her chin as she scrutinized him.

“Um, hello?” Vash offered with a small wave.

Suddenly she smiled and waved, “Hello! I see you’re doing our Lord’s work! Don’t disappoint him!” She turned around and merrily went back to what she was doing. Her spirits seemed to have been lifted a bit.

‘She was a weird one. But she seemed harmless enough.’ Vash then shrugged and continued down the street. Hoping no one paid attention to what she said about him.

He seemed to strike some luck in this adventure. Not a single pony seemed to have heard the small exchange and Vash couldn’t help a small sigh of relief. His journey through town led him past the town center and over a bridge. He could see the beginning of the Everfree treeline.

“Ah, some things never change,” Vash said with a fond smile. “This treeline is just like the Everfree back home.” He then moved to enter the path into the dark and foreboding forest.

Vash pulled the map out and looked at it as he walked down the path. “The bog is in the west section of the forest, so I guess that is... this way?” Vash turned right on a fork in the path. He pulled the map back down and said, “Hmm, I hope it’s not too far.”

Vash continued down the path and scanned the area to see if he could find the bog. He also kept on guard, he knew how dangerous the forest could be. The last thing he wanted was to be caught unaware by something like a manticore or a group of Timberwolves.

His luck proved to be good once again, the ground started getting more and more wet without a single monster or beast attack. It was not too long later that he had to either start really pulling hard against the mud or try and find paths amongst fallen tree trunks and small islands of dirt.

Vash turned in a circle as he made sure to check if he was right about the area. “Okay, this looks like the place. Oh Mr. Fluffles!” he called out.

Nothing answered his call, Vash slapped his forehead when he realized he forgot something. “Oh, right! The gem!” Vash pulled the staff out and grabbed the gem, trying his hardest to pull it off. “Oh, come on! Get. Un. Stuck!” With one final yank the gem was ripped from its perch and flew off into the marsh.

Almost immediately after it sank the ground seemed to shake. A wave of purple energy shot out in a dome from the point of impact the gem had with the ground. The shaking stopped once the dome dissipated and everything went silent. Way too silent.

“Um, Mr. Fluffles?” Vash asked with a nervous whimper.

There was a shake of the ground. Vash stumbled a bit before regaining his balance, now on full alert. There was another shake, this time a rather large dome of mud rose from the marsh. Vash stared at the spot when another shake finally sent something free from the mud.

A rather large bear claw rose out of the ground, it gripped the marshy floor and pulled the rest of Mr. Fluffles out of the mud. A large undead abomination rose from the depths. It had the body, head, and tail of a fifty foot tall Manticore, the front paws of a dead Ursa Minor, and the back legs of a dragon. It’s eyes glowed purple with energy once it reached its full height.

“Uh… good boy Mr. Fluffles. Do you want to go for a walk?” Vash asked, sweating bullets as he held up the leash.

Mr. Fluffles looked down at Vash, then at ‘The Leash’. It growled loudly and took one giant step forward. The ground shaking just a bit.

‘Oh please don’t let this be the way I die. I’ve still got so much that I want to do.’

“Mr. Fluffles, sit!” Vash boomed, trying to be authoritative as he thrust the leash forward.

Mr. Fluffles roared at Vash, loud enough to send his already spiky hair even spikier. He clearly did not respect Vash’s authority.

“Don’t you sass me Mr. Fluffles!” Vash growled. “I beat down Discord and I won’t hesitate to do the same to you!” He finished, trying to stand his ground.

The large abomination looked down at Vash, its glowing eyes seeming to stare into his soul. It growled once more, then growled again, then it seemed to make some odd noise in its throat, like rocks falling mixed with beastial roars. It put a bear paw over its jaw, it was laughing…

“Oh, you don’t believe me?” Vash asked with a dark chuckle. He then removed a band from around his right arm. “Do you see this? This is a limiter. This keeps me from being too dangerous. If I wanted to, I could destroy an entire city, or punch a hole in the moon. So unless you want to end up a smear on the ground I’d suggest you… RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!”

Mr. Fluffles raised a nonexistent eyebrow, his glowing eyes seemed to twinkle in a way that reflected rolling, and pointed to the staff, then motioned to Vash before making a small space between his front paws. Vash cautiously stepped toward the space that Mr. Fluffles indicated with the staff outstretched before him.

The beast looked at him oddly, then sighed in exasperation. It drew on the ground, a single word that said ‘madness’, then pointed at Vash, then once again made a small space between his paws. Then laughed once more. Vash moved to the indicated space, pointed the staff at the abomination and said, “Madness.”

Mr. Fluffles sighed, and gave Vash a pitiful look. It pointed at the word once more, made it’s paws stretch outwards as if indicating something large, then pointed at Vash, before bringing its paws closer.

“I really wasn’t expecting to play charades today,” Vash said with a sigh. “Do you want me to point this at myself? Or hold my arms outstretched like I’m Moses trying to part the Red Sea? Just hold up your left paw for the former, and right for the latter. It’s pretty obvious at this point that you can understand me.”

Mr. Fluffles face pawed. It seemed to give up now. He seemed to resign himself and stared down at Vash licking his jaws.

“Hey! None of that Mr. Fluffles! It’s my job to get you to Sheogorath!” He boomed as he drew his revolver and aimed it at the beast’s eyes. “Not to be your snack! Now, let’s just be civil here and maybe the two of us can be friends before this is all over. Or, you can try to eat me. The keyword there being try.”

Mr. Fluffles grinned widely and shook his head yes as he slowly began stepping forward.

Vash paled and pointed the staff at himself, “Madness!” he called out.

Mr. Fluffles rolled his eyes and got even closer. Not even bothering to hide his hunger now. Vash stretched his arms out and thrusted the staff upwards and cried, “Madness!”

Mr. Fluffles stepped particularly hard this time, the ground around Vash shaking. It gave one more lick of its chops and eyed Vash. Vash looked up at the abomination and let out a nervous chuckle.

“Hey look, a distraction!” he called out, pointing behind Mr. Fluffles.

Mr. Fluffles looked behind him. Then it roared in anger when it realized it’s mistake. While Mr. Fluffles was distracted, Vash took off running, screaming like a little girl all the while. The beast let off a booming roar and took off after Vash through the bog. Vash didn’t bother looking behind him, the angry roars and shaking ground was evidence enough that he was being chased. He felt tears stream down his eyes as he pushed himself forward as fast as he possibly could.

“With what is most likely my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!” Vash boomed, then paused for a moment. “And screw you Sheogorath!” Vash could’ve sworn he heard mad cackling, but it was probably his mind playing tricks on him.

Mr. Fluffles charged through the forest, not seeming to care at all for the trees in its path. Vash wondered where he should go to lead this beast somewhere, before he gets too tired. Vash swiveled his head madly and just decided to blindly head through the densest part of the forest, hoping that would slow Mr. Fluffles down at least a little bit.

It worked to an extent, the beast slowed down from ramming so many trees. On the other end of the spectrum however… it also served to make it madder. It roared at Vash when it was forced to smash through a group of trees.

“I hope you get splinters!” Vash called back at the beast. “And if you do catch me, I hope my bullets give you lead poisoning!”

The eyes of Mr. Fluffles glowed eerily bright in the dark forest when it glared back at Vash as an answer to his taunts. Not even bothering to roar when it jumped over a boulder and slammed against a tree. The two continued their chase through the forest, eventually coming up to a path. Vash decided to throw caution to the wind and pulled at whatever dregs of adrenaline he had to make it onto the path.

The second his foot touched the dirt pathway he shifted direction and shot down the path like a bat of out hell. Vash didn’t know what had happened, but didn’t bother to question his bit of fortune as he continued forward. He didn’t know how long that fortune would last though, Mr. Fluffles was nowhere in sight.

Vash gulped and he shifted his eyes around, looking for the beast.

‘I do not like this,’ he thought, slowing down slightly to conserve energy. ‘How can something that big be able to hide?’

He didn’t have to wait long for the ‘kitten’ to reveal himself once more. Glowing eyes and a roar from the edge of the treeline to his right was all the warning he got. Mr. Fluffles smashed through the trees, bear paws outstretched and jaw open.

“Screw it, Yolo!” Vash shouted as he charged Mr. Fluffles and vaulted off of the beast’s outstretched paws and onto it’s back. Vash ran down the thing’s back and hoped that he would be able to dodge its tail if the thing decided to use it.

Mr. Fluffles was surprised by Vash’s unexpected agility. His tail indeed lashing out in reflex, Vash, thanks to the luck of the gods, barely dodged it’s poisonous stinger. He rolled on the ground upon landing and continued his dash. The beast behind him skidded to a halt, kicking up dirt, and renewed its chase on Vash.

“Oh come on!” Vash cried. “Can’t you go and bother somebody else? Aren’t you bored of chasing me yet?”

He roared and shook his head no.

“And this is why I’ve always been a dog person!” Vash cried as he barreled through the forest.

Mr. Fluffles roared again, taking exception to that. The forest seemed to be getting brighter, the chaser and chasee were getting close to the edge of the forest.

“Yes!” Vash beamed as he attempted to speed up. “Please let there be somepony on the other side that can help me!” Vash boomed, tears of joy streaming down his face.

The two burst out of the forest in a blaze of leaves and dirt. A crying Vash and a roaring beast mixture were suddenly hit by the blinding light of the sun. A picturesque moment, and one hell of a surprise for a yellow, pink maned, pegasus minding her own business.

“Eep! What is going on?!” She softly yelled.

“Help me!” Vash sobbed. “Mr. Fluffles is trying to kill me!”

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes and flew in front of Mr. Fluffles, “Now you listen here mister! You are bigger and stronger than him! You shouldn’t pick on and bully others! That is simply not nice!” She simply flapped in place and glared into Mr. Fluffles’s glowing eyes. The chase was stopped for the moment as the two stared at each other. Vash took that as his chance to fall to the ground catching his breath. His limbs spasmed slightly as he did so.

He watched as the brave pegasus gave the abomination a tongue thrashing of a lifetime. Her glare was a sight to behold as she stood her ground against the mix match of creatures that was Mr. Fluffles. He didn’t get to rest for long though, but he was glad for any at this point. The beast simply placed a paw on the pegasus and gently pushed her away.

She eeped, clearly not expecting that. Mr. Fluffles returned his gaze on Vash, licking his lips.

“Hey Mr Fluffles. You don’t really wanna eat me, do ya?” Vash asked with a nervous chuckle as he stood up slowly. “I mean, look at me, and look at you. Would I even make a good snack for you?”

Mr. Fluffles shook his head no. Still grinning, showing off his sharp teeth.

“Uh, that’s not all, one of my limbs isn’t even real,” Vash continued pulling off a glove and showing his metal arm. “See, you wouldn’t want to get bits and pieces of this stuck in your teeth, would you?”

Mr. Fluffles rolled his nonexistent eyes and mimed ripping off Vash’s arm, and throwing it away.

“Uh… Look, it’s Sheogorath!” Vash yelled, pointing behind Mr. Fluffles.

The beast narrowed his eyes, as if debating whether it was wise or not to potentially ignore its lord and master. Finally it decided that the risk wasn’t worth it and gave a quick over the shoulder. This was all the distraction Vash needed and he took off screaming again.

“Run little pony!” Vash screamed. “Mr. Fluffles is an unstoppable killing machine! All he knows is hatred and death!”

The pony was frozen in fear now, but Mr. Fluffles ignored the easy meal and ran off to continue its chase on Vash. Hatred in its eyes as it roared at Vash. Vash did his best to speed through the town, shouting for others to get out of the way as he went. Vash sobbed as bits and pieces of his life flashed before his eyes.

“Damn you Sheogorath! I swear when this is over I’m going to shove my Angel Arm straight down your cheese-hole!” Vash roared.

It was a good thing the ponies in town were smart enough to get off the street the two were running down. Vash passed by the mint green unicorn from before, she was staring in awe at Mr. Fluffles as the two ran by her.

“Screw you, your god is a lie!” Vash called back to her.

“Would you say that to his face?!” She called back before he didn’t have the chance to hear as she watched the two slowly begin to fade from sight.

‘I’d say there’s about a 50/50 shot of that at this point,’ Vash thought in response as he came to the edge of the town. Vash’s mind rushed as he considered his options. ‘Wait a second, Mr. Fluffles is part cat. If I can trick him into that lake, he may not be able to swim!’ Vash thought as he pushed his tiring limbs well beyond their limits as he dashed towards his faint glimmer of hope.

They finally managed to get out of town and were dashing through the small stretch of land that separated the military base from Ponyville. That stretch of land was barren of any ponies so Vash only had to think about running and nothing else. About a minute of running led him to see the lake ahead, and the island with a three faced portal gate in the middle of it.

‘Oh please let that thing lead to Sheogorath’s place!’ Vash cried in his thoughts as he dove for the lake waters.

Vash quickly swam for all he was worth to the island, he reached its shores and pulled himself on its beach. Gasping for air he looked across the lake and spied Mr. Fluffles standing at the edge of the lake giving Vash the stink eye.

“Yeah, take that Mr. Fluffles!” Vash gloated, flipping off the beast with both hands. “What’s wrong? Kitty doesn’t like a little water?” Vash asked before bursting out in a desperate fit of laughter. “Whoo, yes! I am the man!”

The beast growled, it could still be heard even across the lake. But it stopped its growling and smirked at Vash. Dramatically it turned around and walked away from the edge of the lake, looking over its shoulder it huffed in amusement at Vash. Vash stopped laughing and gulped loudly, “What are you thinking Mr. Fluffles?”

He stopped a good distance away, still smirking at Vash. It slowly turned back around, looked Vash in the eye, and pawed the ground.

“Oh shit, don’t you do it Mr. Fluffles!” Vash cried, waving his hands frantically in front of him.

Mr. Fluffles nodded, pawing the ground once more.

“Don’t you do it!” Vash bellowed, louder this time.

Mr. Fluffles roared and charged down to the lakes edge as fast as it could. Once it reached the edge it leapt for all it was worth, taking itself high into the air on a straight course for the island Vash was standing on.

“Fuck. My. Life!” Vash swore as he backed away closer to the portal.

Mr. Fluffles slammed into the ground in front of Vash. The portal was behind him, and the beast in front. Vash desperately tried to think of a way to deal with this situation. The only thing that came to him was stupid and highly unlikely to work.

“Alright, let’s finish this Mr. Fluffles,” Vash taunted, eyes narrowed at the beast. “Come and get me you dumb animal!”

The beast roared at Vash and leapt at him, successfully taunted. Vash seemed to stand his ground but just when Mr Fluffles’s claws were inches away from him he dove to the ground. Allowing Mr. Fluffles to sail through the air and into the portal. Vash leapt onto his feet and raised his arms to the sky. “Yes!” he cheered. “I get to live another day!” He then turned back to the portal and sighed. “Now I just have to go back to Sheogorath.” He then stepped through the portal and prepared for the worst.

The moment he stepped through he was greeted with the sight of the Fringe. But he didn’t get to enjoy it for long, a paw slammed next to him and a loud growl was heard in his ear. He slowly turned his head and saw Mr. Fluffles directly in his face.

“Mother,” Vash squeaked as he quaked in his boots and prepared for death’s cold embrace.

It never came.

“MR. FLUFFLES!!!! HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!!!” Boomed a thunderous voice across the realm, shaking the ground. Mr. Fluffles froze, his eyes dimming then just as quickly sparked back to life with a much greater energy in them. He immediately turned in the direction of the gate that could be seen from here and leapt to it.

“Sheogorath, is that you!?” Vash roared.

Vash felt the same push he felt when Sheogorath first pushed him out of his realm. A portal appeared in front of him but he could not see through it, he could do nothing to stop from being sucked in. “Ahhh!” Vash screamed as he felt like he was being stretched.

He fell through the portal and back onto solid ground. Right back where he started, at the base of the staircase of Sheogorath’s throne. None the worse for wear. He heard clapping coming from above him.

“Good show! Good show! I haven’t had this much fun in centuries!” The mad god cackled.

“Well at least one of us had fun,” Vash groaned.

“You bet I did! It’s been so boring here! Sometimes I love to be around mortals, they are endless entertainment! And sometimes I hate them. But it’s all in good fun!” Sheogorath said.

“Why do you keep saying mortals like that?” Vash questioned. “Weren’t you human at one point?”

The mad god eyed Vash, “Aye! I was, but that was millennia ago. I hardly remember anything about it. Just something like Hallogreen as my final memory of it. I’ve come to think of us Daedra as far superior to normal mortals, mostly because we can’t truly die.”

“Don’t you mean Halloween?” Vash asked, starting to feel a bit sorry for Sheogorath.

“Did I? Well it matters not! I’ve grown to my new station now, a mortal mind can not be in the body of a Daedric Prince for long after all.”

“Oh… okay. So, do you know about Displaced yet, or am I the first one you’ve come across?”

Sheogorath rose an eyebrow, “Displaced? Oh, laddie you just piqued my interest. What is that? I hope it’s something interesting, I don’t like gettin’ my hopes up.”

“Well, to put it simply, you, me and countless others got transported to different versions of Equestria. Each of us gaining abilities or having our form changed. I wasn’t always Vash the Stampede. Each of us has a token that we use to call on each other whenever we want. Mine was the bullet that you picked up.”

He shrugged, “Eh, more like it fell into my palm laddie. So, you’re saying there are countless others across this vast multiverse of ours? Just waiting to be picked clean of entertainment!”

“Uhh yeah,” Vash answered hesitantly. “I’m actually good friends with a few of them.”

“Interesting. So, what can I do to get meself a token of my own? I see a marvelous way to relieve my eternal boredom!” He leaned forward, staring at Vash.

“Basically, you just pick an item that represents you, concentrate on it, create a message, and toss it into the Void,” Vash explained.

Sheogorath rubbed his chin, a mad delight shining in his eyes. He got up from his throne and held a hand out, palm up. A flash of purple energy burst from his hand and a staff with three screaming faces on its tip appeared. “I think the Wabbajack is a perfect choice don’t you agree laddie?”

“Whatever you say oh lord of madness,” Vash agreed with a dramatic bow.

Sheogorath concentrated on the staff and said a message, “To those little mortals called Displaced! I am the Prince of Madness! Sheogorath! And I have cheese for everyone!!! Hahahaaa!!! Call my name if you got something entertaining. If not, I’ll rip your heart out and eat it! Tastes divine with a sweetroll!”

Sheogorath waved the Wabbajack and a rip in the realms of Oblivion appeared, exposing the void for all its worth. He under tossed the staff and it whirled into the portal. Once the portal closed he looked at Vash.

“Ah, your Wabbajack is in the mail laddie. Should be arriving in 3, 2, 1…” A portal opened behind Vash and the staff smacked him upside the head.

“Damn it!” Vash cried as he bent and picked up the Wabbajack. “Why does this always happen to me?!”

Sheogorath cackled, “Aye! I could get used to a sight like that! If you ever get smacked in the head again call me! We’ll do lunch and I’ll watch it happen over and over!”

“I’ll keep that in mind, and the next time you call me, please don’t ask me to retrieve any of your pets.”

“No promises! Now, how do I kick ya out of my realm and back in yours?” He questioned.

“Just say, Vash our contract is complete. And I’ll be out of your hair until I call you or vice versa.”

“Vash, our contract is complete. Do come back now ya hear, we can do the fishstick together. And dine on cheese! Cheese!” Sheogorath said, widening his arms to the side.

A swirling green portal opened up behind Vash and he turned to walk into it. “I’ll keep that in mind. Try to keep yourself entertained until we meet again.”

Sheogorath sat back down in his throne, “Yes, yes. Now get out of here! Unless ya don’t want yer legs?”

“Fine, I’m gone ya chaotic goat!” Vash called out, flipping Sheogorath off as he disappeared into the portal. Sheogorath laughed at his audacity, his mad cackle following him.

The portal closed behind Vash and the room was silent. Sheogorath turned to Jeeves, “See my old friend? Entertainment! Endless entertainment!” He looked forward, leaning forward on his cane, “I wonder what will happen next Jeeves? The mortals in the next realm over doing something fun, or another ‘Displaced’ dropping in?”

“Who knows sir? I suggest we simply wait and see.” Jeeves said with a slight bow of his head. After saying his piece he remained silent as he did his duties for the mad god.

Sheogorath grinned, “Oh, such fun! Much fun! Now… send in entertainment!” Sheogorath shouted, Jeeves nodded an affirmative and silently walked off.