I lightly twirled my staff around as I walked around the Halloween party my neighborhood was throwing. Most of it was settled in the parking lot in front of the neighborhood meeting house. Various tents were giving out some kind of confectionary or another, a few were even having some kind of interesting activity to do. Like the haunted house.

However, the biggest event and activity tonight was the costume contest that started around nine-thirty where the neighborhood residents show off their costumes, it starts about an hour from now and I can't wait. I looked around the festivities from my spot on a bench and noted the people that had really good costumes, the potential contest rivals, and all. I personally was rather proud of mine, I was dressed as Sheogorath, the Skyrim version. I had all the clothes just right, but, unfortunately, my staff… was not the best of quality.

Yeah, for some inexplicable reason every time I managed to find some way of procuring a good quality staff it was just... suddenly out of stock. Every. Single. Time. After countless wasted hours of crawling through the internet just trying to find one place that sold the staff, I finally decided to just give up the search. Instead, I found myself a good stick to work with, bought several other things from nearby craft stores and ordered online, and went to town on the stick to make the best damn staff I could manage with my own meager arts and crafts skills.

The finished product of my labors wasn’t all that bad to be perfectly honest. Sure it was bent a little here, a bit twisted there, there were some blood-soaked areas from a cut on my hand when I fumbled with the knife in other places. But! It was good enough in the end, it was not going to win any Miss Universe contests and I had to use a lot of extra super glue for the eye part, but good enough all the same.

After a while of people watching I grew bored of simply waiting around the small festival and started to think of what I should do next before the night was over. I do enjoy watching the people meander about the place, eating junk food, and simply having a grand old time don't get me wrong. Halloween was one of my favorite times of the year and I need to do something to make the most out of this day, I was just sad I was a tad too old for any trick or treating.

“Well now, you gotta love these kinds of festivities am I right?” came a voice from my right. "Pretending to be what ya aren't, throwing on a new face just for a single night of the year only to throw it away and pretend to be someone or something else next year. Quite silly is it not? I love it!"

I looked to where the voice came from and saw a man with the exact same costume as me. Like, down to the exact small details, and I certainly made sure to make this costume look as close to what it was in the game as possible. The only real difference between us was his incredible vocal mimicry and the fact the staff in his hand was obviously superior to my own, which kinda annoyed me. I didn’t say anything about that though, that would’ve been rude and not sporting.

“Yeah, Halloween is great,” I said to him, smiling. I have to give him credit for everything about him, his costume was a good as mine and if I were a judge and had to pick between us I'd give it to him for the voice alone. “So... are you gonna enter the contest?”

He laughed, “Worried I might be the only real competition you’d have against your costume?” I scowled at his rather blunt comment but he continued as if not noticing, “No worries then my friend. Sadly, I actually have to leave this party, got something that I need to do back home. It's a shame really, I wouldn't mind spendin' some time here.”

He seemed to pause as he rubbed his chin and considered something.

He then grinned and boy did it look sinister, ten out of ten I love this guy. The man looked at me, clearly having some sort of idea going through his noggin', “Hey, I have a grand idea! How about you take this here staff of mine and go win that contest for both of us? Wouldn’t be such a waste of time making this thing if something useful came from it.”

He handed the staff over to me, it looked so real… I quietly reached a hand out and took hold of it, bringing it in front of my body to closely look at it. The workmanship on this staff was simply incredible, everything on it looked so natural, even the eye. I ran a finger down the shaft, noting the even texture of the wood and the sheer detail that went into making this staff.

“Wow, thanks man-” I cut myself off when I didn’t see the guy next to me. Confused, I looked around, trying to spot him through the crowd of people. I couldn’t find him and quietly said aloud, “Weird... Well, maybe he doesn’t like a thank you when he does something nice?”

That was my last sentence uttered on Earth before I was whisked away in a large swirl of purple and black energy, never to be the same again.

“Rope? Nonono, he hates rope. Yarn then? No, that won’t work… How about string? Yes! String! He loves string!” Said the cloaked earth pony rather loudly, he continued to mumble random things. He was wearing a very frilly, purple hat as he paced in front of a large shrine depicting a very dashingly handsome man, with a dashing beard, posing with a cane. The pony was looking down, not paying any attention at all to his surroundings.

“This has to be the place,” whispered a pegasus royal guard private to his older earth pony sergeant, the two were hiding behind some dense bushes a little bit off to the side from the mad pony in the clearing. “Nopony would blabber such inane things without being a worshipper of that evil god.”

“Quiet private. He does not need to know we are here,” The sergeant harshly whispered back. “Besides, a pony doesn’t have to be a worshipper to be mad. Sometimes it’s simply natural or bad luck and those ponies just happen to be naturally attracted to these places if they aren’t captured first.”

The private quieted himself. The two continued to watch the clearly mad pony talk to himself, mentioning lettuce for some reason. While the worship of the mad god was not technically illegal… it was severely frowned upon. If somepony was even accused of being a potential worshipper their reputation would be nearly irreversibly destroyed.

The only reason the two guards were there in the first place was that they had a tip regarding something that actually was illegal. The ownership and usage of a soul gem, typically punishable by life in prison if the gem was empty. The simple act of owning one has been looked down on for nearly two millennia when their function was first discovered, many ponies believing their use was for purely dark reasons. It was not until the two sisters came into power that the gems themselves were permanently made into illegal goods and banned through most international trade.

It didn’t help that one of the more famous users of the gems was a dark and sadistic madpony by the name of Sombra who had made a recent return. He was powerful enough to actually have the ability to create a spell that made black soul gems out of the natural soul gems that formed in the Crystal Empire, a feat entirely unheard in Equestrian history and his trademark spell during his reign in the Crystal Empire. That spell, the fear it brought when the threat of having one's soul imprisoned inside of a soul gem, and his own power were what gave him such a terrible reputation, black soul gems were able to contain the souls of sapient creatures after all.

The two guards pulled their entire focus on the pony when he stopped pacing in front of the shrine. The madpony reached into a saddlebag placed in front of the shrine and pulled out… string. He placed it on the shrine’s pedestal and reached down into the bag again. This time he pulled out a head of lettuce and placed it next to the string.

He reached into the bag for the third time and the two guards tensed. They knew that summoning the mad god at his shrine required three items, a well-known fact nowadays. That made ponies wary of others buying such items at the same time. This had to be the soul gem. They prepared to gallop out of the bushes but stopped when they saw the third item. A simple wedge of cheese.

The sergeant sighed, “I guess the tip was incorrect. Thank Celestia…” He turned around and prepared to leave but the private stopped him with a hoof.

“Wait, sir! Look!” The private quietly shouted, pointing a hoof at the madpony.

The older guard turned around and saw what the private was pointing at. The mad god worshipper put the cheese back into the saddlebag, mumbling something about lunch. His hoof came back out with a glowing gem, a soul gem. A soul gem that was full if the glowing light from its center is to be believed.

“Well, I’ll be a hydra’s uncle,” the sergeant whispered, shaking his head at whatever poor creature had their soul stolen from them in cold blood.

This was very bad news for the mad pony, simply owning an empty soul gem was life in prison. Actually filling it up with a soul, from anything, could mean a sentence much worse, since a full soul gem meant something was killed and had its poor soul trapped into the gem by black magic after all. And if one is sadistic enough to trap the soul of a beast or any non-sapient at all, then who's to say they would stop at just that and not go after a sapient creature with more powerful souls? The older guard simply shook his head in sadness, he knew what fate this mad pony could have.

The two guards tensed and burst out of the bushes.

“Stop right there criminal scum!” the sergeant shouted, purposely ignoring the odd look the private sent him.

The mad pony whirled around in fright, the soul gem flying up into the air, his back against the shrine and forelegs spread out to his sides, “Oh no! Oh, dear! They found me! They found me! Oh, I can’t go back, the whizmats will tear me apart! Tear me apart I say!” The mad pony was now breathing rapidly in fright, his eyes darting around erratically.

“Look, just calm down…” The private didn’t get to finish what he was about to say, he was interrupted by a new voice that resonated in his head.

“Well looky here! A couple of tiny, shiny, mortals!” The two guards immediately began looking around, trying to find the source that was projecting the voice in their heads.

“Oh, you aren’t looking in the right places. Lookup! Ya can’t miss me! Hah!” The new voice cackled.

“What? But the only thing up is…” The private’s ears fell flat against his head when he looked up, the sergeant’s ears followed when he looked at where the private was staring. The soul gem was now resting on the mad god’s shrine pedestal, just in front of his feet.

“Oh, Celestia… the mad god. This isn't good,” the sergeant whispered hoarsely.

“Bah! Celestia! A fine looking mare no doubt, too bad she’s all about the good, and the niceness, and the refusal to eat cheese for every meal! She substitutes with cake! Cake! Like cake could replace a good… eh, nevermind that. Now, where were we?” The voice ranted in the ponies heads.

“It’s him! It’s him!” drawled out the mad pony. He danced an odd jig while clopping his front hooves together in front of the statue.

“I can’t believe it…” muttered the sergeant softly. He shook himself to try and rid himself of the shock before straightening up. “Lord Sheogorath, sir…” He started.

“Pah! What do you want mortal? And be snappy about it, or I'll be having a date with your spleen! And you don't want that date, humph, I tend to get a bit over-excited and just... tear things apart!”

Ignoring the odd threat the sergeant continued, “We don’t want any trouble, sir. We just want to arrest this pony, he’s broken a few laws.”

The pony in question gasped and dropped into a bow in front of the shrine that was so deep he was basically laying down, and groveled, “Oh! My Lord Sheogorath! I am your humble servant, I simply wish to revel in your eternal madness! Let me do as you bid master!”

“Hah! Well, you heard him! He’s my humble servant! But what indeed should I do with him… such a conundrum we face here. Two guards, a few insignificant broken mortal laws, a delightfully insanely sane individual, and me! Sheogorath! Daedric Prrrrince of Madness!”

The sergeant gulped and shakily asked, “So… d-do I take it you won’t let us capture him?”

“Take it however you want! I’ve already given our dear friend here the way to get to my Realm! You better catch him before he leaves~! Oh! And a word of advice… don’t fail to tell your Princess about what’s what once you catch your prize! Or I’ll gut you like a pig, and use your entrails as decorations for my next evening tea time but not before I skip rope with them! Ta taaa~!” With one last mad cackle the voice faded from their minds and the two guards realized the mad pony was already making a break for it.

“After him!” the Sergeant ordered.

The two guards quickly galloped after the escaping pony. The forest surrounding them was dense so they had to move slower than usual, thankfully for them, this hindered the mad pony as well. They also had the advantage of guard training, they had significantly better endurance on their side, though the mad pony had complete fanaticism and madness that gave little self-preservation on his.

“Private! Take to the air! Cut him off at the edge of the forest where the nearest lake to Ponyville is!” The private nodded and took off carefully to make sure he got out of the treetops safely, going full speed once he was above them and making a beeline for the lake.

The sergeant grunted and dutifully charged on, never letting the mad pony leave his sight. The younger earth pony ahead of him was surprisingly good at running from a guard, even with the sergeant's more advanced training and well-built body. After jumping over a rather large root the sergeant saw a light coming from the edge of the forest, the mad pony quickly charging out through the edge.

“Come on, I hope you’re already there private,” thought the sergeant as he too passed the forest’s edge not too long after the mad pony.

The sudden light nearly blinded the old guard, he skidded to a halt on his hooves to keep himself from falling over from the disorientation. He blinked a few times and quickly scanned the surroundings once his sight returned. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the pegasus private pinning the mad pony to the ground.

He quietly walked over to the pair and looked down at the law breaker, “Sorry son, you might be a bit touched in the head but laws are laws. The sergeant shrugged off a small bag on his side and withdrew a bottle and some rope.

“No! The mad master hates rope! Hates it I tell you!” The mad pony tried to resist harder but it was futile. The sergeant uncorked the bottle with his teeth and quickly kept the fumes away from his nose, putting it under the mad pony’s snout, letting the pony breath it in.

The pony was knocked out seconds later and the contents of the bottle were soon expended. The two guards tied him up and had a pleased smile on their faces. The pleased look dropped from the sergeant's face when he looked out at the lake’s surface.

“What the?” He silently walked closer to the water’s edge, looking at the odd phenomenon.

“Something wrong-” The private began before he saw what the sergeant was looking at. His jaw dropped and he exclaimed, “Wha- How in Celestia’s name did a whole island suddenly appear in the middle of the lake?! There isn’t supposed to be an island there!”

The sergeant was silent before replying, “I don’t know. But I don’t like the look of that glowing gate. It’s creepy and I bet you a hundred bits that is where our prisoner was heading towards.”

“That’s not a bet I’m willing to go against…” muttered the private.

The two guards stared at the creepy three-faced gateway before the sergeant turned around and looked at the private, “Go back to the shrine and grab that soul gem, we need it for evidence. We can take turns carrying this sack of potatoes on the way to Canterlot.” He motioned to the unconscious pony with a dismissive hoof, the private saluted and flew off back towards the shrine.

The guard spat to the side and kept a watchful eye on both the prisoner and the strange tiny island, and muttered, “Ugh, this has been quite a day, quite a day indeed...”

*Chapter retouched 6/10/2020

What a maddening (Hah!) situation!

Anyway, it was fun to write and, hell, I'm even thinking of different ways to have fun with crossovers. Custom quests perhaps?

Oh, and Sheogorath's lines are best read with his voice. Remember that, it's very important.