Cheerilee didn’t get much rest that night. Between her thoughts of what was coming the next day and her fevered dreams about Big Macintosh waking her up on one occasion, she was forced to rely on caffeine to get her through the day.

It was horrible.

Cheerilee yawned as she stood up from her desk. Her back was stiff and her eyes a bit bleary. Despite the fact that she had already had three cups of coffee, her fatigue was far from mitigated.

“Alright class,” Cheerilee said, pausing to yawn. “There’s one more minute before the bell, and I don’t think it’ll make much difference either way. You’re free to go.”

The excited rush was a little more enthusiastic than usual today. The foals cascaded out the door, leaving Cheerilee alone in the classroom.

Cheerilee stood at the front of the room for a long time. The door was starting to look a little more ominous, and she was having a bit of trouble forcing herself to press onward. However, she finally willed her hooves to unstick from the floor, and she turned back to her desk and set about gathering up her belongings.

A stack of papers yet to be graded glared up at her, but she didn’t care. She picked them up and dropped them in the drawer; it wasn’t like she was going to be in any mood to work later that night anyways. She gathered up a few pens and a notebook into her saddlebags before giving her desk one final inspection. Satisfied that she had everything, Cheerilee slipped the bags over her back and again faced the doorway.

“I’m not asking him out. I’m just going to talk to him and see where we stand. Nothing to be afraid of,” Cheerilee said to herself, closing her eyes. She walked forward a few steps with her eyes closed, opening them just as she came face to face with the door. Up close, it didn’t seem all that scary. She pulled it open and stepped through, flipping the lights off with her tail as she passed by.

Fresh snowfall coated the ground, covering the entire area in a pristine white sheet. The clouds from the overnight snowstorm lingered, with a few random flurries still drifting down from them. According to the weather bulletin posted in The Ponyville Express, they were supposed to stick around for the rest of the day. Cheerilee shivered, the chilly breeze cutting through her fur. Her hooves crunched in the ice on the dirt path as she stepped off of the porch.

A big part of her wanted to turn left, to go the safer route and just leave things be. A left turn back towards town would be so much easier, no uncertainty and no friendships to be put in jeopardy.

But that would mean cake, and waving goodbye to the figure she worked so hard to maintain. She arrived at the fork, and her force of will won out. She turned right, starting down the path towards Sweet Apple Acres.

The tracks in the snow had almost all taken a left turn back towards town. However, one set of hoofprints had taken this same path. As she rounded a bend in the trail, she could see the red dot of the filly’s tail far up ahead. Cheerilee picked up her pace to try and catch up to Apple Bloom; after all, walking with her would look much less suspicious than following along behind her.

Suspicious? What am I, robbing her? Apple Bloom wasn’t really moving along very fast, so it wasn’t long before Cheerilee began to catch up.

“Apple Bloom!” Cheerilee called. The filly stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around to face her teacher as she approached.

“Miss Cheerilee? Did I leave something at school?”

Cheerilee chuckled. “No, I was coming out to Sweet Apple Acres so I thought I would walk there with you. Is that okay?”

“I’m not in trouble, am I?” Apple Bloom asked, her face markedly apprehensive. Cheerilee understood, because after all, it wasn’t every day that her teacher decided to come home with her.

“No, you’re not in trouble. I just needed to talk to your brother about something we have planned,” said Cheerilee, smiling to try and ease Apple Bloom’s suspicion. While not entirely a lie, it surprised her how easily the half-truth came out.

“Alright then,” Apple Bloom agreed, some of her unease fading. With that, they began walking again.

“So,” Cheerilee said, trying to keep the conversation going. “I don’t think I ever asked you. How was your Hearth’s Warming?”

Apple Bloom’s face lit up a bit. “It was interesting for sure, but I had a lot of fun!”

“Oh? How was it interesting?”

“We went with Pinkie Pie to celebrate Hearth’s Warming with her family, and let’s just say that they have some funny traditions.” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “They eat rock soup for their feast, they only decorate by covering the place in crystals, and they hide their presents from each other and search for them. Usually they hide them so good that nopony ever finds them.”

“Rock soup?” Cheerilee asked.

“It’s exactly what it sounds like,” answered Apple Bloom, her voice deadpan. She mimed gagging to accentuate it.

“Wow, maybe that’s why Pinkie’s the way she is.”

“Actually, no,” said Apple Bloom. “Pinkie’s probably more different from them than we are. They’re all kinda… what’s the word?”

“Bland?” Cheerilee suggested. It was one of the few antonyms for Pinkie Pie she could think of.

“I guess that works. It was a little disappointing at first, but I got to having fun doing something different.” Apple Bloom paused for a second before she grimaced. “Applejack wasn’t so easy to come around though. She tried to completely change all of the Pie family’s stuff into regular Hearth’s Warming stuff. I still don’t know where she got all of those decorations, but she nearly got us kicked out of their house.

“What happened?” Cheerilee asked.

“We left for a little while and then went back to apologize, and then we got everything going again. We might do something like that again next year, but I want to do it the normal way next time!” Apple Bloom grinned.

Should I ask her about Marble and Big Mac? She quickly decided against it. That would be quite the pointed question, and then Apple Bloom would probably figure out why she was really coming to see Big Mac.

“So, did you get any presents?”

“I found one for me eventually. Turns out me and Maud got along real nice, so she hid one in a pretty easy spot for me. Of course it was rock candy, but I can’t complain”

Maybe I can get her to mention something about them without just asking her directly, thought Cheerilee. “So how did Granny Smith and Big Mac like it?”

“Oh Granny and Big Mac had a great time! Sure, they took a little bit to get used to all of it like I did, but they started making friends real fast. Granny hit it off with their parents, and Big Mac was hanging out with one of Pinkie’s sisters. Did you know Pinkie has a twin?”

That must be Marble. “Really? What’s she like?” asked Cheerilee.

“Quiet. Now that I think of it, she’s a lot like Fluttershy.” The path curved, and around the bend was the first glimpse of the farmhouse. Cheerilee’s stomach suddenly dropped into her hooves as she realized how she’d gotten involved in the conversation enough that she didn’t keep track of where she was. The barn loomed, looking as imposing as an enemy fortress ready to attack her as soon as she neared it. There in the deepest recesses of the impenetrable compound was the stallion she had to meet with, and the journey there was sure to be a harrowing one. What if he just refused to talk to her? What if—

“Uh, Miss Cheerilee?” Apple Bloom asked, pulling Cheerilee back to the present.

“Oh, yes. Sorry, got... lost in thought.”

“Okay then,” said Apple Bloom, though her tone still told Cheerilee that she didn’t quite buy it.

“I’m glad you had fun there. Now, do you know where I can find your brother?”

“He’s probably still in the barn,” replied Apple Bloom. “Our wagon’s been having problems and he’s been out there working on it for the last couple of days.”

“Thank you, Apple Bloom.”

“Bye Miss Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. Cheerilee slowed to a stop at the diverging path, and Apple Bloom continued on towards the farmhouse. Taking a deep breath, Cheerilee started forward once more, taking the path towards the outlying barn.

The barn itself was only a short distance from the main path. The doors were wide open despite the chill in the air, and the wagon Apple Bloom had mentioned was sitting in the center of the doorway, and surely Big Mac was right there with it, though she couldn’t see him yet.

Last chance to turn back. I can still give up and make it easier!

Cheerilee frowned. That little nagging voice in the back of her head suddenly spoke loud and clear. She stopped in her tracks, her heart beating audibly in her ears. Was turning back a better option at this point?

Of course not! I’m going to get this over with so I can get it off my chest! Cheerilee’s determination came back with fervor, and with renewed confidence in her step, she continued pressing on towards the barn.

I’m going to ruin everything! Her pace slowed.

No! Keep going, for your own good! Her speed picked up again.

He’s going to hate me! I have to turn back now while he’s still my friend! Cheerilee shut her eyes, desperately trying to shut out the turmoil in her mind.

“Enough is enough,” Cheerilee muttered under her breath, still conscious enough of her surroundings to suppress the urge to scream. She looked up at the barn, which she was now standing immediately in front of. Her knees felt weak, but she pushed forward despite it. Using sheer force of will, she stepped across the threshold and into the building.

The wagon stood in the center of the floor. One of the front wheels was missing, replaced by a rusty jack-stand. A bit of hay was scattered around the floor, and a number of apple harvest buckets laid about, stored due to the winter season. A red toolbox sat next to the remaining front wheel, and next to that were two hind hooves sticking out from underneath the cart. The faint chatter of a ratchet turning came from under the wagon.

Cheerilee cleared the rather large lump in her throat. “Big Mac?”

The ratchet stopped cranking, and the wagon creaked as Big Mac pushed off of it to roll himself out from under the cart. A number of oil and grease smears were smattered across his coat, and he was wearing a set of goggles similar to what the weather patrol used to shield their eyes from the wind.

“Oh howdy, Cheerilee. What brings you out here?”

“Oh, I just came by to ask you something. Is that alright?” Cheerilee answered, rubbing the back of her head.

“E’yup. Just gimme a sec,” he said, pushing himself back under the cart. A number of sounds of tools came from under the wagon, and after about a minute, he rolled back out.

“Did you fix it?” Cheerilee asked.

“E’nope, just got to a stopping place. And that’s two questions,” Big Mac answered, laughing at his own joke as he flipped himself off of his roller, climbing to his hooves.

Cheerilee laughed as well, but hers could hardly be called genuine. “Who’s counting, anyway?”

“So,” Mac began, throwing his back into a stretch that concluded with a loud pop and a sigh of relief. “What brings you by?”

“Well, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop in and say hello.” Cheerilee mentally smacked herself. That wasn’t a question at all. “What’s wrong with the wagon?”

“She threw a wheel yesterday on the way back from the market. I started there but then I found suspension problems. I swear, one more thing goes bad on this wagon and we’re just gonna buy another one.” Big Mac peeled the goggles from his eyes, which had left a notable impression on his face.

“How much more do you have to go before it’s fixed?” Cheerilee asked.

“I might be done by the time I go to bed.” He afforded a look at the wagon, which creaked loudly as a gust of wind blew through the open breezeway. “Or maybe not. What were you gonna ask about?”

Cheerilee’s stomach flipped upside down as she opened her mouth. She was going to be sick. “Uh, right!” She cleared her throat and licked her lips. Wow, when did my mouth get so dry?

“I wanted to ask you, um… Right, I wanted to ask you if you were busy later this week, and if you could help me organize a fundraiser for The Foal Free Press!”

Where did that come from?!

“A fundraiser? I thought the school board funded the school paper.”

“Oh no, the students are trying to get a… newer, improved printing press! That’s just not in the budget, and then we decided to hold a fundraiser to come up with the extra money! Can you help us?” Cheerilee laughed, perhaps a little more than she intended to, and gave a wide smile to accentuate herself.

Oh Celestia, I’m floundering. Luckily for Cheerilee—or perhaps unluckily, she still couldn’t decide which was better—Big Mac hadn’t seemed to notice her odd behavior. Stick with it. Maybe I can pull it off.

“E’yup. What do you need?” Big Mac offered a gentle smile, and Cheerilee felt her heart beginning to melt.

Sun above, with those rugged oil stains on his muzzle… no! Hold it together!

Cheerilee cleared her throat forcefully, “Let’s start with figuring out a good idea for the fundraiser! The children and I racked our brains for a long time and we just couldn’t seem to figure out anything good to do. Do you have any ideas?” She made a point to give him a hopeful look, but she doubted her ability to pull it off.

“E’nope, nothing special. What about a bake sale?” His tone was becoming a little less confident, Cheerilee noticed. He was starting to sense something was up. Maybe it would be best to—

“That sounds like a wonderful idea! I’m sure the children will love it!”

“E’yup,” said Big Mac. Silence took hold on the barn, and Cheerilee’s heart truly began to race. It was coming. Her disguise had worn thin. He was onto her.

“Cheerilee?” Big Mac asked, finally breaking the silence after thirty seconds of stifling quiet.

Here went the last stand of their friendship. “Yes, Big Mac?”

“Are you alright?”

“Of course! Why do you ask?”

Big Mac paused, like he was considering his answer. Instead, he merely shrugged. “I dunno. If that’s all you needed, then I’m gonna get back to work.”

Yes! He bought it—oh no. No! He’s brushing me off!

“Okay! Thank you for your help!”

No! Pony up, Cheerilee! You’re missing your chance!

“Glad you stopped by. See ya later!” With that, Big Mac walked around to the other side of the wagon, disappearing behind it.

Alright, it wasn’t meant to be. Time to head back… No! Go over to the other side of that wagon and come clean! He’s a nice stallion, he’ll be understanding!

No he won’t. He’ll reject me and throw me off the farm for even suggesting that we should be together! He’s taken. End of story.

Cheerilee, if you don’t go talk to him right now, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life!

Just walk out of the barn and leave the farm. Sugarcube Corner should have plenty of cakes available if you hurry out.

Walk over there and confront him! The worst he can do is say no.

“Uh, Cheerilee?”

Cheerilee’s eyes flew wide open. She hadn’t realized they were closed in the first place.

“Yes, Big Mac?” Her stomach dropped again. Her head felt a little light.

“You sure you’re okay? You don’t look so good,” said Big Mac.

“I’m fine, really! I was just about to take my leave.”

Am I really going to back out now? After all of that?

Big Mac took a step forward, eyeing Cheerilee carefully. He was trying to read her. “You should probably take a seat. You look a little pale.”

“Oh, sure. Okay,” Cheerilee agreed, dropping back onto her haunches where she stood. Big Mac sidled over and sat down next to her. He wrapped a hoof around her shoulders, but drew back a bit as soon as he made contact.

“Cheerilee, you’re shaking,” he said. He pulled her in closer with his powerful foreleg. “Are you cold? Scared of something?”

This is it. Let it out. Don’t hold back. Cheerilee sighed, shuddering as she let out the breath. “Big Mac,” she started, though she hesitated. She could still play this off and not go through with it.

I’m going for it. “Big Mac, do you remember anything about what happened while we were under that love potion?”

Big Mac seemed to tense up. “E’nope.”

“Are you sure? We never really talked about it afterwards.”

“What makes you ask?” asked Big Mac. He let go of Cheerilee’s shoulders and shifted away from her.

“It’s been weighing on my mind lately,” Cheerilee clarified, though she bit her tongue. It wasn’t the whole truth, but that would come out in due time. “To be perfectly honest with you, that’s why I came out here. There never was a bake sale.”

“I could figure that much,” Big Mac muttered, making Cheerilee’s cheeks burn faintly. “I don’t think there’s much to talk about there. It’s over. Finished. Nothing we can do, so we don’t need to waste time worrying about it.” He pushed away from Cheerilee a bit and stood up, walking over to his tool box.

This isn’t off to a good start. “Big Mac—”

“So, how about this weather, huh?” Big Mac cut in. “I don’t particularly like winter, but it’s kinda nice to be able to do things besides harvest apples all day.”

“Big Mac, would you come back over here and talk to me?” Cheerilee asked.

“What? I’m talking to you right now.”

Oh great, avoidance. “Big Macintosh, don’t do this to me. I really need to have this talk with you, and I think it would be good for you too.”

Big Mac didn’t say anything. His ears splayed back and he crossed the barn to the workbench on the far wall. Cheerilee rose to her hooves and followed him across the room. He had taken a seat at the stool there and was tinkering with a part that looked like it belonged to the wagon.

She stood there and watched him for a moment. She could tell that he knew she was standing right next to him, but he was doing his best to pretend not to notice. She rested a hoof on his, and he froze, back stiff as a rail.

“Big Mac, this is hard for me to talk about too. But I really need us to have this conversation right now.”

“Cheerilee, I think I see where this is going,” said Big Mac, staring straight ahead.

“No, I don’t think you do,” said Cheerilee. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it. It’s an awkward subject, and to be honest, it was traumatic. But I’ve been bottling all of these things in for a long time, and I think it would be best for us to talk this out. Get it all out in the open.”

Big Mac sighed, relaxing his back. “E’yup.” He hopped down from his stool and plopped down on the floor right next to it.

Cheerilee took a seat as well and smiled. Gosh, that floor’s cold. She adjusted herself to where she was sitting on her tail, and once she was situated, she was surprised to see that Big Mac was finally making eye contact with her. She froze for a moment, searching for a way to continue the conversation. “Remember how we pranked the Crusaders with dopey talk that evening?”

“E’yup,” Big Mac chuckled, smiling at last. “I loved the looks on their faces.”

“That was probably the best part of the whole day,” said Cheerilee with a laugh. She could feel that the conversation was beginning to stall already. Why do things always get tougher when you try to make them happen?

“Big Mac, have you ever thought about the... implications of what happened that day?”

He didn’t answer.

“I have. I’ve thought a lot about it, and it frightens me to think of what might have happened if the girls hadn’t been able to fix their mistake. We nearly entered a marriage together without even being able to think for ourselves. Can you imagine the nightmare that we’d be in if we’d managed to actually get married like that?”

Mac remained silent.

“Imagine if we’d had a—”

“Cheerilee, stop.” Big Mac was staring straight into her eyes, like he was trying to analyze the depths of her soul. He looked away, locking his gaze on the far wall.

“You know, I’ve thought about it too. I’ve thought about what those fillies might not have told us about what happened. I’ve thought about what I—” He choked up, tears forming in his eyes. He looked away from her. “What I might have done to you with my head the way it was.”

“Oh Mac,” Cheerilee said. She grabbed his hoof, holding it tight. The stallion shuddered as he inhaled; he was trying desperately to hold himself together.

“I don’t think it happened. Heck, I’m probably just getting worked up for nothing, but I kept thinking about what might have happened.” The emphasis on the last word caught Cheerilee’s attention, and she couldn’t help feeling her cheeks heat up from the implication. He looked to her again, and his eyes were clouded with tears. “I wouldn’t never do something like that to you, Cheerilee. I care too much about you to ever hurt you like that.”

“It’s okay, Big Mac. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Cheerilee whispered.

“That don’t make it okay! I could’ve easily hurt you, and I can’t forgive myself for that.”

“Big Mac don’t, please. Don’t feel bad. There’s no way either of us could control what happened. We can just thank Celestia that nothing bad happened. You’re talking like we could be parents right now, but nothing happened!” The look on his face told her that she hadn’t exactly worded in the best way. She was just going to keep digging a hole if she kept talking, so Cheerilee pulled Big Mac into an embrace, which he was hesitant to return. However, after a few seconds, he hugged her tight. He nuzzled his snout into her shoulder, and for the first time since Cheerilee had known him, he began to sob quietly.

Cheerilee didn’t know how long they stayed locked together, but she didn’t care. She was lost in the sensation, the softness of his fur overlying the firmness of his toned muscle underneath, the warmth of his body against the cold barn, and even the gentle rocking movements from his sobbing. She closed her eyes, content to be his shoulder to cry on.

“It’s okay, Big Mac. It’s okay,” Cheerilee whispered, gently stroking his mane. His quiet sobs had stopped, but he didn’t move from the hug. Perhaps he was enjoying it as much as she was.

Wow, he’s been holding a lot in, Cheerilee thought. Come to think of it, it was rather surprising. He’d seemed so ready to forget it, and yet here he was, bottling all of it up and hoping it would go away. It was astonishing that he was able to even look at her, let alone stay good friends after that.

Big Mac sniffed heavily. “You know, I do feel a lot better after that.”

“It always feels good to let things out,” Cheerilee said quietly, running her hoof over the yoke around his neck.

“Thanks, Cheerilee. I didn’t even know I needed to do that.”

“I’m happy to help, Big Mac,” Cheerilee soothed. Big Mac shifted a bit in her hooves, and she held him tighter in response.

“Uh, Cheerilee, you can let go now.”

Cheerilee’s eyes shot open, and she immediately let go of Big Mac, clamoring to her hooves and taking a few steps back.

Big Mac looked at her with his mouth twisted in confusion. “What was that?” he asked.

“It was nothing! Well, glad you’re feeling better, Mac, but I’d better get going so I’ll see you—”

“Wait a minute,” Big Mac said, interrupting Cheerilee as she tried to slip away. He rose to his hooves. “Are you sure that potion ain’t still messing with your head?”

Oh no, here we go. “Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.” Cheerilee mentally cursed herself. She was getting nervous butterflies, and now it was infecting her speech as well. How did the tables turn so fast?

“Cheerilee, you mind telling me what’s going on?”

“There’s nothing going on. Nothing at all!” Cheerilee started trying to back away, but Big Mac kept edging forward.

“Cheerilee, don’t lie to me. What’s going on here?”

“I told you, nothing! Everything’s fine!”

“You don’t seem fin—”

“Okay, fine! I like you!”

The barn went silent, save for the faint whisper of the wind through the old rafters. Cheerilee’s heart was beating a mile a minute, and the blush on her face was rapidly matching Big Mac’s coat color.

“What?” asked Big Mac. He looked at her with the most incredulous stare she’d seen in a long time. The type of stare that a pony gave when they couldn’t figure out whether to feel happy or upset.

“I said I like you! There, you happy?”

“Since when?” he asked, a slight blush of his own coloring his red cheeks a little brighter.

“I don’t know, since three days ago.” Cheerilee sighed, dropping back onto her haunches. “Three days ago, I overheard Pinkie Pie talking about how you and her sister were getting... involved with each other.”

“Who, Marble Pie?” Big Mac asked. He also took a seat on the floor.

“Yes, her. It made me start thinking about Hearts and Hooves Day again,” she replied. “I got jealous, and then I started realizing that I really care about you, and… well, here I am.”

“Cheerilee, I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s fine. I won’t get in the way of your relationship with Marble. Just, please, promise me we can still be friends after this?”

“No, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it, Big Macintosh?” Cheerilee shouted, causing Mac to reel backwards ever so slightly.

“I-I just…” Big Mac stammered, losing his place. “It’s just that, I don’t know if I can like you that way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you know if that potion can keep making ponies crazy after the spell breaks?” Big Mac asked.

Cheerilee deflated a bit, looking down at the ground. It was the same question she’d asked Nook the day before. “I don’t know. They didn’t say anything about lingering effects.”

Big Mac sighed. “If I was to like you back, how’d I know if me loving you wasn’t just that potion making me cuckoo again?”

The barn went silent again, both ponies unable to look at each other. Finally, Cheerilee rose to her hooves.

“I’m glad we had this talk,” Cheerilee said, all of her enthusiasm drained from her voice. She took a deep breath and turned around. Her hoofsteps echoed through the rafters of the barn as she walked out, her head held low, and her tail dragging on the floor behind herself.

It was going to be a cold, lonely trip back to town.

Author's Notes:

Sometimes, the truth can be painful...

I apologize for the delay, but Chapter four is here in better shape than originally intended! I'm looking forward to hearing discussion on this one, so be sure to hit up those comments!

Revised 12/12/15