So... Kids Happened
Chapter 2: Life and Stuff and More Stuff
Previous Chapter Next ChapterIn Ponyville…
Izack sat on his haunches as he finished painting the name of his shop on the side of his cart.
‘Heibai’s Humble Hats’
He spat out the paintbrush into a can of green paint and glanced at the time and nodding. “She should be here soon.”
“She who?” Pinkie asked, popping up behind Izack’s shoulder suddenly. She giggled and looked at the cart’s sign, “Ooh! Rarity would love to shop here! She loves getting new hats!”
Izack smiled at her. “I’m sure she’ll love my hats then.”
“Yupperoonie! Oh hey, here she comes now!” Pinkie pointed down the road at said fashionista, who was currently out grocery shopping.
He looked over and waved his hoof. “Hello, Miss Rarity!”
Rarity looked over in surprise, her mane dramatically flipping out of her face from just the motion of turning her head. “Moi?” she asked, fluttering her eyelids. “Ah, hello there Pinkie! Is this someone new?”
“Yes. I am Izack Heibai. I’m staying here for a while before I move on.” He lifted part of the tarp covering his Nice Hats.
Rarity gasped, “Those hats! Why they’re simply… marvelous! I must buy some!” She immediately began trying on hats, all but shoving Pinkie and Izack out of the way in her rush.
“Hehe, that’s Rarity for you!” Pinkie giggled.
Izack shook his head and walked over to help her try on the different hats, even showing her the hat that Hecate from Shakugan no Shana wore. “I will have even more available once I get popular enough.”
“Oh my word, this is fantastic~!” Rarity cried, still trying on hat after hat after hat after hat after…
Erm, let’s move on, shall we?
With Sara in Aaron’s shop
“So, Sara….” Aaron murmured quietly.
The strange haired girl looked up at her new ‘father.’ It still sounded weird in her mind and was somewhat of a foreign concept to her.
Aaron tapped his chin, “Y’know, since right now I’m nullifying your power…. wanna go get some ice cream?”
“No,” Sara remembered when she last ate ice cream. It was a large tub of chocolate ice cream she found and she was sick for weeks. “I don’t like ice cream.”
Aaron pouted, “Mou, well, that tub you ate was probably spoiled and you really shouldn’t eat a whole tub at once you know. Come on, at least try some?”
She just shook her head no and curled up.
Aaron sat down beside her and patted her shoulder, “Hey, you alright kiddo? Is something the matter?” He looked concerned, even going so far as to shift out of shadow state.
“It’s nothing.” She lied. It’s just that thinking about even eating ice cream made her feel queasy.
“You do realize that I can read your mind, right?” Aaron chuckled and patted Sara’s head. “It’s alright, though. You don’t have to like ice cream. So, what would you like?”
“Rice.” Wow. That’s rather plain.
Aaron gave Sara a flat stare, “.... Well thank goodness I’m Chinese. Or at least, was.”
In the background, Juno cursed and flailed as he once again was buried under the improbable mountain of rice bags that filled a whole six trillion aisles in the food section. “DAMMIT THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK.”
Aaron coughed, “So… yeah. We got a lot of rice. Want any toppings on it? Meat? Vegetables? Seafood? I make great roast quails, you know.”
“Um, I’ve never really put toppings on it. Only Ketchup occasionally.” Sara was blushing slightly.
“.... Ketchup…. on…. rice….?” Aaron stared at Sara uncomprehendingly, “.... That is so… so…. White. I mean, okay, that’s racist, but still. Never heard of anyone but white people doing that. Weird.”
“It was all I could get.” Sara looked to the ground.
Aaron stared at the camera and past it to the live studio audience. “We’re really gonna have to fix that. Show of hands if you agree.”
Well well, look at that, a whole lot of raised hands from the audience.
“Alright then, Sara! Let me be the first to welcome you to your new home with a traditional Heibai family meal!” Aaron announced spectacularly, bursting into a black chef’s hat and apron with sparkles erupting around him.
Sara just sat in the corner, looking confused. “What is going on?”
Juno walked past, still brushing off burning rice. “Ignore that. He does that a lot.”
One scene transition later….
“Eat up everyone!” Aaron called out, setting down the last plate of food upon the table. He had even dragged Izack back from Ponyville for this occasion. “And welcome Sara to the family~!”
Sara looked over the table at the white haired boy, who was currently putting a lot of food on his plate. He looked up to meet her eyes before giving a big, genuine smile. “Hello, Sara~ I hope you have a good life with us!”
Sara looked away, finding such happiness to be just as uncomfortable.
Aaron patted Sara on the back, “Hey, come on, kid. Don’t you wanna eat? I mean, aren’t you hungry? Do you not like the food?” Obviously, he knew the real reason, but still, courtesy.
Juno looked over, still eating despite his concern. Jupiter meanwhile…. was gorging herself on fish without a care in the world. Izack hummed as he ate a lot of food as well but he was eating slowly, unlike his mother.
Sara silently took some various food and started trying them, after a few minutes, mainly sticking to meat based foods, rice, and sushi.
“Hmmm…” Aaron mused, idly stepping out of the scene and into the space between the camera and the fourth wall. “There’s gotta be a way to cheer her up…. Unless she’s just naturally gloomy. I mean, well, right now she seems more sad than anything. Hmmm...”
Two weeks later…
“Hey Sara, whatcha doin’?” Jupiter peeked into Sara’s room, a wide smile upon her face.
“Just killing rats.” Sara replied, not looking up from the cage where several dying rats were in. All of them seemed to have died in different but horrific ways. There really was one rat still in there but it had blood on it and looked rather dead as well.
Also, it was eating the other dead rats.
So yeah, Sara seemed to have engineered her own zombie plague.
“... E...to….” Jupiter slowly backed away, covering her own face with one of Aaron’s special Plague-B-Gone towels and going to get Juno. “Juuuuunoooooo!” She cried, sprinting down the hall. “Sara made a zombie rat and you need to kill it with fire!”
Sara just sweatdropped. “It will die in an hour.” She muttered rather late after her adoptive mother fled.
Aaron stepped out of the zombie rat’s mouth and wiped his hands off on Jupiter’s dropped towel. “See? Isn’t it rather easy to engineer zombie plagues when you have someone to guide you through the process? Though, word of advice: never go down to the molecular level for this kinda thing. It’s super gross.”
“Or do something stupid like Umbrella?” Sara asked, recalling when she found Resident Evil on a shelf and decided to play it last week.
“Yeah, those guys were stupid.” Aaron tapped his chin and scribbled out a quick note to himself.
“What are you writing?”
“Nothing important,” Aaron patted Sara’s head and tousled her hair. “So, wanna learn how to make enhancement viruses?”
“Sure~” Sara showed off one of her rare smiles at the thought of learning more about what she could do.
“And now, you go back to Izack,” Aaron grinned at the camera.
With Izack who is back in his pony form...
Izack carefully tied the tarp down over his merchandise and other belongings, making sure his panda bear was firmly attached. He had made a killing in Ponyville, thanks mostly to Rarity and the female members of the town.
He chuckled as he saw one pony wearing Fuka’s hat from Disgaea 4 and he hopped off the cart.
The last two weeks had been rather interesting.
Well, Twilight Sparkle showed up, and then there was the debacle with Nightmare Moon, and then Twilight deciding to stay in Ponyville. He had given her a hat on the house, which was Hecate’s hat.
Then there was the town almost fighting each other over a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. Funnily enough, Twilight seemed rather happy that he had declined on going.
While it would probably help him boost sales, he didn’t really feel like hanging around a bunch of snooty ponies. It would have just led him to pour laxatives on the food and punch.
Izack smile grew brighter as he thought back to his good byes to each of the mane six.
Behind him, back in town each of the mane six’ respective homes were absolutely buried under mountains of stylish hats. Granted, they were all identical hats themed after each respective pony, but still. Mountains.
Then, he hitched up the cart to himself and started walking out of town. Sure, he could have asked his dad to send him over but that really didn’t appeal to him while he was in Equestria.
Uncle Juno had always kept him in Ponyville and never really took him anywhere else so getting to walk around by himself was exciting for him.
And so, he kept walking, the eventful town of Ponyville shrinking behind him until it was merely a speck in the distance.
A couple hours later…
Izack was just humming the opening theme to Luck Star, his cart moving smoothly behind him. Currently, he was moving through a large field, the kind that Displaced usually wake up in.
Fortunately for Izack (And the Displaced as a whole), there would no one waking up there. Probably.
Unfortunately, there was a group already living there.
Diamond Dogs.
Izack froze as they started breaking out of the ground around him, holding swords and other weapons. He mentally thought that they might be like warrior zombies.
“Give us all your money and gemstones, pony!” The lead dog growled threateningly, waving his sword through the air.
He rolled his now yellow eyes. “I don’t have time for this.” He unhitched the cart with one quick movement. “Let’s wrastle.”
“Little pony wants to wrestle with Rex?” The dog smirked and sheathed his sword, cracking his knuckles and advancing, “Haha! This will be quick!” He jumped forward, clearly expecting it to be a quick takedown.
Izack ducked under the much larger Diamond Dog and rolled onto his back, using all four of his strong hooves to kick him in the gut with a force that felt like a sledge hammer. Izack personally didn’t expect it to take out the bigger opponent, maybe stun him but not take him out.
“Graahh….” The dog groaned, slowly moving back to a stand. “That…. hurt…. you die now!” With a roar and another clumsy charge, the dog rushed at Izack, sword held high and gleaming in the light.
Izack hopped up, the information on how to counter zooming through his head.
And so, he rushed at the diamond dog as it was swinging down and punched a hoof right to it’s wrist, forcing it to drop the sword before Izack used his other hoof to punch it right in the throat.
The dog went down to a raucous cheering coming from… somewhere.
Izack rolled his eyes having an idea of who it was. “I have broken all the carpals in your wrist. Do you surrender?”
The dog growled, but shifted from his prone position into a hesitant and altogether reluctant bow. “..... Alpha…..” he muttered, averting his eyes.
The human turned pony blinked as his mind processed this before face-hoofing. “Oh dear god, I got minions.”
Aaron popped out from behind a rock with a trombone and played a short tune to illustrate Izack’s mortification.
Back in the Void about three weeks later…
“-orry about pulling you away from your stall like that, Izack,” Aaron patted Izack’s back, shoving him out of the shop and back into the Void. “And make sure you give that asshole Merchant my message!”
“Yes, dad!” Izack called out from the void before starting to head across the void to where the Merchant was dicking up people’s lifes again. He just floated along, not giving a glance to any of the other void dwellers.
None of them dared touch him or his adoptive sister again. Not after a certain noodle incident involving an angry void dweller, a trumpet, his dad, and the fact that Izack was Aaron’s son.
That void dweller never really walked right after that.
Izack also started to muse on his powers and how it had helped him to improve the diamond dogs and allow them to run the cart while he was gone. It was rather simple with his power to Manipulate Potential.
All he did was increase their learning potential and taught them everything they needed to know and some extra. After all, he couldn’t have them just repeating what they learned so he increased their potential to think for themselfs.
The boy with broken-ass powers was broken out of his reverie when he got to the universe that the Merchant was in. He paused before calling on a slight amount of magic from the void, just to change his appearance to look more normal, AKA changing the color of his hair and eyes black and green respectively.
Then, he entered the universe, appearing in another version of Comic-Con. He seemed to love showing up Comic-Con in all different universes. Izack shook his head and walked among the stalls, heading to a particular one that only a certain few would notice and he could tell why. It seemed to only hone in on humans that the Merchant thought would be hilarious to ruin the lives of.
Said Merchant was currently reclining in his seat and reading, of all the things…. Fifty Shades of Gray.
“I should probably burn that,” Izack thought as he strode over and grabbed the Merchant by the shoulder. “Merchant. Aaron has a message for you.”
“Eh? Who are you?” he asked, nonplussed and a little panicked. “What message?”
“I am Izack, Aaron’s son. And here is the message,” Izack snatched the book before deftly kicking the Merchant in the face. Then he grabbed the void dweller by the coat and yanked him up, only to headbutt his face. Then he yelled, “STOP FUCKING UP PEOPLE’S LIVES! Also, I’m going to start setting up a shop next to you if you keep doing it and set up a clear warning.”
“Atta boy!” Aaron crowed from far, far away.
Izack just gave a thumbs up to where his dad was.
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