So, where did we leave off? Sure, it’s only been a few days but I figured that I might as well take a second before questions just to reflect because I’m seeing some new faces around here, and trust me … I can tell. Nanites and all that jazz swimming in my system.

We had just left Calluna City and I had informed the group as to our situation, yes? Also, I spoke to Luna overnight so that meant we’d be picking up during one of our days on the road. See, this sitting is going to hopefully be shorter if I remember perfectly, because it was three days’ worth of traveling all day and even some of the night before we got to the next major city in the southeast, which was really close to official battle lines.

Alright, recap is done, let’s move onto the questions because those are still a thing.

How could I tell that Iron Will was younger than me?

Honestly at this point, I assume most people who are in great shape and spry are younger than me, only on the basis that I am fucking fit as hell for a forty some year old. A forty year old that has been doing things that most forty year olds haven’t done in a long, long time. I mean, I’m still in the job of scaving and living off the land, so … yeah. Though for the record, Iron Will is indeed younger than me, I can all but confirm it. It will be mentioned in an upcoming conversation.

Alright, next question!

Yes you, little girl. Did I want to jump in that fountain in Aboretia?

Honestly, there was a small part of me that was saying I should just lay in it for the entirety of the day just to feel what it is like to lay in a pool once more. Sure I had that chance on the airship, but I didn’t take it, so I guess that was where that little part derived from. Otherwise, the only thing I thought of when I saw it was that it had some rather interesting artwork.

Moving on.

How often do physical conflicts come up?

Well shit, that’s a pretty intense question, only because it gets me thinking about just how much of my life is spent in battle.

Hmm.

I have to say that despite my exciting life, exciting being a very broad term in this usage, I don’t get into as many firefights or conflicts as it might sound. Sure it happens about a hundred times more than what any of you would ever see, but that doesn’t mean I find myself in a gunfight against marauders or going hand to hand with a drug addicted psycho each and every day. No, I have stretches of at most weeks at a time where I don’t feel a single gunshot whizz past my head, or I don’t have to deal with the cut of a knife. It’s nice to have those breaks as it allows me to gather my wits and replace any lost sanity.

Now, if you’re talking about just seeing them, then I guess everyday there is always a conflict, though I don’t necessarily see them. While I pride myself on having fucking beautiful morals, there are instances where I hear gunshots and I just keep going. This isn’t some video game where you can just inject a fucking drug into your system to heal yourself and you get to reload a save if you die. No, I like my life a little too much to get involved in things that I don’t have a personal tie in for me. That’s why I was a part of the whole Civil War thing in Tayros. Had my train not been attacked, then I would have cared little probably … probably, but as I’ve told you, it didn’t happen like that.

Oh, you have a spin off of that question? Okay, shoot. Do I see my life as one of war with times of peace, or the opposite?

Another good question. You all are on a roll today. Well, let me think again since it’s one of those intense questions that actually requires more thought put into it.

…

You know, I could do a very simple cop out of the question and simply state that ‘aren’t we all at war without ourselves, so is there such thing as peace?’ While that is one hell of a philosophical answer, I’ll actually answer your question fully. I see my life as one that hangs on the ledge of a cliff. The abyss below that possibly awaits for me is that of war and the flat ground I could scamper to is of peace. Yet that ledge is impossible to get off of in one direction.

Peace is defined as instances of time that lack harmful conflict, usually between people but if applying it to a single person, we can never truly be at peace. Using that saying I mentioned, we are always battling our inner demons, thus we are always at war. Yet to be hanging off the cliff and at war continuously we would essentially be fighting everything and anything, which is a horrible way to live in my opinion.

All in all, I have seen more than my fair share of fights and horrible aspects but at the same time, I see so many people rebuilding and showing compassion that I can’t really say I live with one over the other. It’s that typical brand of ‘humans are too complex to characterize’ that I like to follow. I try to always speak that truth.

Well, let’s move onto the next set of events, shall we?

So, after that whole deal with Luna and jazz the previous night, I’m pretty sure my sleep was restless. I didn’t understand at the time considering that I had slept through worse situations in my past. To be honest I can only speculate to this day as well, but I think that Luna being in a bad mood and in your dreams do indeed leave imprints in them. So there is a possibility her troubled mood as she left was then pushed onto me. Like I said, still speculating as to if that is true or not.

When I woke up, the sun was cresting above the horizon, it was barely the start of a new day. Of course, I was the first one to wake from my sleep. Gilda and Iron WIll were sleeping, I assumed. Well in Iron WIll’s case I could tell because as I rolled over, I saw that he was leaned up against one of the caravan’s wheels. I gave a small chuckle under my breath before sitting up. Of course the sleep had done horrible miracles on my back, meaning it hurt like fucking hell. Oh yeah, it’s been like that every night I had to sleep up there.

I just didn’t bitch about it before because this was probably the worst instance of the entire stay. Yeah it got better throughout the trip as I got used to it, but that day I really needed to stretch badly.

So for a little bit I suffered in silence as I did a few stretches on the top of the caravan, mainly ones that could be done while lying down. Let me tell you, I’m pretty sure the back pops sounded like gunfire with how loudly they came out.

“What was that?” Trixie’s voiced as though she was startled into alertness by the sounds. I rolled my eyes before leaning slightly over the caravan to look at the worried mare, who was looking this way and that in a frantic manner.

“That was my back,” I said with a small chuckle.

The pain was still there but I figured I might as well laugh through it.

For a second she looked at me as if I was crazy, but after a moment she let the stress go with a good exhale. “Trixie thought something had snuck up on her. Not that that is possible, mind you! Trixie’s wards are top notch!”

I lied on my stomach, looking over the edge of the caravan at her; it was decently comfortable. “Without a doubt. Though do keep your proclamations down a little, give them a little bit more sleep.”

“And why should Trixie let them sleep more?” she asked, though I could tell it wasn’t serious, so I just rolled my eyes in response and went back to working the kinks out of my back.

It was a rather strenuous and painful process of going through exercises I had learned over my life, but by the time I was done, I was feeling much better in terms of my back. So much so, that I easily slid off the top of the caravan with little to no effort. It is always a good feeling to get a little bit of your spryness back even if it was only temporary.

I did a few more little movement exercises before deciding that I couldn’t get any more spry than I already was. I also came to the decision that the other two had slept in enough and it was time to eat something and get going. I was decently hungry but not really aching for a meal. I could easily get by on some quick-made oatmeal or something like that.

I gestured to Trixie to go wake Gilda up because she was more likely to not only fit in the caravan but also to not get her eyes torn out from waking her up. I wasn’t subtle in the least when I had to wake people up.

After making my way over to Iron Will, I decided the direct approach was best. So I kicked him lightly in the side. “Time to get up, sleeping beauty.”

He made a movement between jumping and lunging, somehow making it to his feet in an instant, his head moving this way and that before it found me grinning up at him. I think he was trying to figure out a way to murder me without the others realising but eventually he just let out a rather deep yawn.

I walked away before he could say anything, instead moving over to the still burning fire. Someone probably gathered some more wood or something during the middle of the night. That, or Trixie decided to use some magic to help it burn better. I honestly cared little as long as I could heat up something or use it to make food.

Just as I sat down, a bowl encompassed in magic came floating over to me before landing in my lap, along with a small bottle of water and what looked like an oatmeal packet. Well, it seemed that Trixie was thinking along the same line as me today. A good start to the day, probably one of my best when on the road.

Fast forward through my meager dealings with making the food and eating. The rest had gathered and were chowing down on what they had. Apparently there was also toast but I didn’t feel like it at the moment so I let them eat that while I had dug into my oatmeal.

Definitely the best oatmeal I had ever tasted without a doubt; couldn’t even compare whatever they had in Equestria because it was on another fucking plane of existence in terms of taste. So don’t even try to understand just how epic it fucking tasted, because it did.

Wait, pause the story for a second. Yes, I know I’m literally retelling it to you but I forgot to mention this at the beginning: I’m deciding to change up my story telling just a little bit. Basically I’ve come to realise that while I am including every fucking detail I can remember, I am adding a little too much of filler, so with that said, things are going to change.

First off I am going to skip over time a little bit more, especially when there is nothing going on. That means I will probably exclude some conversations that were absolutely meaningless to the overall story. Basically, the small talk that was all just a waste of time.

…

Yes, yes, I know. It doesn’t seem fair that I exclude anything but I realise that if I was to continue on this path of speaking, we would probably be finished in ten years! Well, not ten years mind you, but I bet it would take nearly a full year for me to finally tell my story to you all.

Besides, all of your eager enthusiasm to hear more of my epic just makes it tough for me to keep such a slow pace. Don’t worry! It’s not like I am going to rush ahead and just skip everything! I’m simply going to ensure that we can actually finish this story!

I mean, you’ve already experienced it when I skipped through the meal, so ha! Well are you ready to continue?

Awesome.

So, like I said, the meal was quick and rather quiet but there was some brief chatter, mainly about how everyone slept and if there was anything that happened during the night, to which the only response of note was that Gilda had noticed a passing convoy of military wagons and troops. They were far off in the distance compared to where we were so it was of no issue, at least that’s what Gilda was saying.

I simply shrugged, letting the info take root in the back of my head for later. Always good to be wary, after all. Sure you don’t make a lot of friends by constantly questioning motive, but it’s what you do to survive.

Eventually we were packed up and ready to go, our meager but filling meals were in our bellies and we were once more walking down the road into the great unknown. Well somewhat unknown, we knew our next destination. I’ll take you through the conversation.

“So … Trixie is curious as to where we are going specifically. Don’t get Trixie wrong, she loves walking and hauling around her somewhat overloaded stage-coach, but even she misses civilisation every once and awhile,” Trixie spoke up, not even trying to be subtle about what she was asking.

Gilda chimed in with her own words. “Please tell me we’re not just going to fucking walk across the country.”

“Oh you bet we are,” I replied with a small laugh accompanying it. “How else are we supposed to get around? I’m not taking another fucking train, let alone one that, for some outstandingly stupid reason, would go into what is deemed enemy lines. So get used to it. Besides, you can fucking fly, catbird.”

Gilda rolled her eyes but didn’t speak up as she let me continue on with my little bit of monologuing. “Now with that said, I do have a plan. From the report, if you had read it as thoroughly as I did, stated that currently the lines were just east of a city called Ishtar … which sounds oddly familiar but for the life of me I can’t put a finger on it. Either way, we’ll be headed in that direction, but don’t expect to actually go inside the city. We’ll need to find the local General or whatever the name is for such a rank. He’ll give us the info we need to pass behind Red Banner lines.”

The group was silent for a little bit as they all processed what was said. It was Gilda who spoke up first. “Well, that has to be the dumbest and smartest thing said ever … at once. Bravo.”

Iron Will gave a snort at that response while Trixie laughed out briefly. I simply rolled my eyes before slapping the sarcasm back at her. “Why thank you! You know, it was tough to think of it but I managed to do it. Just glad I didn’t have to ask for extra brain cells to help in creating my grand scheme … wouldn’t be able to borrow from you.”

Eyerolls everywhere. Simply put. Because why not, right? It was the best response to a situation when there was little to be said.

“But seriously,” I continued, “that is the plan. It needs to be simple to allow for flexibility in case of new developments. The only true hitch is going to be if the General has no fucking clue as to what we are doing.”

“And if he doesn’t?” Trixie asked.

“Well then we’re right fucked, aren’t we?” I said with a shrug. Iron Will who had been walking beside me on my right, while Gilda flew above and Trixie just slightly behind us, simply cocked an eyebrow at me, not even saying anything. “Right, right. Basically it would either come down to one of us managing to smooth talk him, or at the very least we just leave … or try to. We’ll see.”

Gilda muttered something under her breath, and because she was flying, it was tougher to hear her, so I didn’t manage to catch it but it was probably her swearing at me for thinking up such a plan. Trixie more or less facepalmed … but with a hoof, so face-hoofed I guess. Of all the ones there, Iron Will was the only one that saw that despite it sounding crude, my plan was basically the best thing we had to actually get us success.

Well, based on the fact that he didn’t really talk about the plan in of itself meant it was a good thing. Well who knows, because I can’t sure as fuck read minds.

Anyway, after that the conversations drifted, mainly about stories and shit regarding each other. Most of them were rather boring as it was just one of their experiences or something like that. I’ll recap them quickly.

Gilda got to meet the Wonderbolts once when she was young. Trixie actually went to Canterlot University before having to stop attending because her mother gambled away their family money. Trixie was obviously really bitter about that experience but at the same time willing to talk about it, so I guess it wasn’t all that bad. Iron Will didn’t say much at first, letting Trixie get in a better story about her previous trip to Tayros, nothing of true note honestly since she couldn’t remember the names of the cities that well. Not a very good bard, huh?

Gilda told us some little stories about shit she did as a child, or in griffon terms, a cub. They were amusing to say the least because they were the epitome of things to do when you’re a little kid back in the day … actually most of you still do the same things I think, at least from what I can tell.

Eventually Iron Will opened up and told us about the time he was in Ponyville, which let me tell you, kick started another new set of topics. Apparently, these three I was traveling with, all had one thing in common. Can any of you guess it?

Nope, try again.

Ehh, somewhat close but not quite there.

What? Hell fucking no, jackass.

So, so close! Here, let me tell you or we’ll be here forever.

Basically all three of them have had run-ins with apparently the six most important mares in Equestria based on what I was hearing about them. Yep, you guessed it, the same six that had more or less escorted us to Canterlot and the jazz. So let me break down the tales.

Starting with Iron Will who initially brought up this topic, he basically told us that his old job as a motivational speaker was rather lucrative for the most part. Yet when he arrived in Ponyville he took on the job of training Fluttershy, purely by luck mind you, and it worked out a little too well. You remember how timid I made her sound, yes? Well apparently Iron Will turned her into a fucking cruel piece of shit by some completely mind fucking means. I mean, he technically did nothing bad to her but somehow common sense went out the window and Fluttershy took everything he taught to heart. So much so that she cranked up the douchebag levels to eleven. Either way, through the help of her friends, and some introspective analyzing I think, she returned to her meek self, though with more self confidence. Unfortunately, Iron Will never mentioned what happened after that.

When Trixie took her turn to speak, I was deciding if I wanted to actually verbalise my idea to place bets on her run in. I had my money on her messing up a story pretty fucking hard. Well, thankfully no bets were placed as I was wrong. Apparently the mare had two run-ins, the first one being a rather confusing one as she was run out of town for being a braggart of a stage performer, and being blamed for an Ursa Minor rampaging in town despite it being two retarded kids.

Didn’t I mention Ursa Minors before? Or whatever? Star bears? Almost certain I did. Ehh. Giant bear shaped clouds of stars defying all conventional physics.

So after running away from town and losing her caravan the first time … she, and get this, decides to exact revenge on Purple Smart. For what, who the fuck knows because Twilight did nothing to her, which she now admits. So, Trixie being the eyebrow raising and confusing thing she was, decides to find an ancient amulet that gives great power and corrupts the wearer at the same time. After hearing that, I actually told her straight up that she was no longer allowed to make any sort of decision for this group, ever. She continued on, more or less accepting my statement with an eyeroll. In short, her story went, she challenged Twilight to a magic duel in which she promptly handed the then-unicorn her ass before going on to rule Ponyville with an iron hoof. Twilight comes back and tricks Trixie into giving up her magical amulet by using bait and switch tactics. I wanted to laugh, but instead I kept my mouth shut as she finished up by telling us that she left on good terms with Twilight and somewhat idolizes her but in a competitive way. Let me tell you, I really wanted to just laugh at her for a bit, but that was detrimental to the group status quo.

I mean, last time I didn’t get to laugh at her because it was more of a touching moment then anything, but this time I could have if I wanted to because the second time hearing it was just that much more funny. She probably would have laughed if I had ...

…

Yes, I purposely re-told Trixie’s story because as you can tell the amount of people here has more than doubled since I told that part of the story. So they needed some context.

We all kind of looked to Gilda, though Trixie and I more or less knew her story. I told you it already so I won’t use details on the story, besides it was mainly for Iron WIll’s sake.

…

Damn, well you do bring up a good point. Right, long story cut extremely short. Gilda met up with Dash in Ponyville a while back, acted like a gigantic douchenozzle, then got pissed when she was called out on it. That spurned the whole ‘Dash’ kind of hated Gilda for a while thing. But yeah … not that funny of a story in retrospect.

After a while of mulling it over while we kept moving, she let loose with the story as quick as she could, though she did touch all the main parts. Mainly her being a gigantic dick biscuit and the like.

It was a nice little bit of story time. Of course, that also killed a decent amount of time, since I completely skipped over the contents of the stories. We were probably nearing lunch time by the time we had finished talking, so I told Gilda to head into the caravan and see if she could scrounge up some food for us to eat while walking. She grumbled all along the way to doing it, but nevertheless the gryphoness came through and delivered with food!

Really, really, creepy food mind you. Well creepy initially. See, she brought out a bunch of hard boiled eggs along with some garlic bread. That second part was super clutch on her part because garlic bread might as well be fucking life at this point. Anyway, the creepy thing was the hard boiled eggs, only because the implications for Gilda and the rest. That led to a rather interesting conversation.

“So … hard boiled eggs?” I said as I turned mine over in my hand. The question was aimed at Gilda who was going through her second one. Trixie was currently levitating the bowl for us to pick out of.

“Yeah? And?” she replied. I looked at her for a few seconds.

“Isn’t that like … I dunno … cannibalism?” I asked, not completely serious though still curious as to whether or not it was in some very, very distant way. ‘Cause you know … griffons might lay eggs so eating eggs … yeah, you’re starting to see my logic in the situation.

She practically choked on the egg she was eating. Eventually after much coughing and chest thumping, she managed to swallow the egg. Then of course she leveled the most disturbed face I’ve ever seen her make at me. “What the actual fuck?”

Yep, so disturbed she actually swore.

“Well I don’t fucking know, Miss I’m half-bird half-lion!” I said in reply, tossing my hands up but managing to hold onto my egg. Of course, I popped it into my mouth shortly after that.

“We don’t lay eggs, you bucking moron! We’re mammals, you idiot!” Gilda said, still completely baffled and probably affronted with what I was suggesting. I simply shrugged as I finished chewing.

“How was I supposed to know? It’s not like I live on this planet,” I replied. She was going to say something but I took a wild guess and cut her off. “And it’s not like I could ask. ‘Uh, yeah, so just out of morbid curiosity, do you give live births or lay eggs?’ I bet that sounds good.”

Trixie and Iron Will were both snickering or laughing, respectively, at the conversation. Gilda wanted to protest to that statement but ended up resigning herself to the fact that no matter how well her argument sounded to her, mine had a better overall base. For the first time ever in the history of me being on that planet, Gilda actually verbally admitted to being wrong!

“Fine, fine … I guess you didn’t know. Either way, eating eggs is completely normal for griffons, and I happen to really like hard boiled eggs,” she said before taking a piece of garlic bread. Rather abruptly she stopped what she was doing, except for flapping her wings mind you, and glared back at me. “What about them, eating eggs, huh?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Horses have been known to eat small birds back on Earth. And Iron Will has sharper teeth than a bovine should have so I chalked it up to being an omnivore. Rather simple, actually.”

They kind of looked at me for a second, which I picked up on easily since I was actually walking backwards at that point. “What? If you think I’m not perceptive of stuff then you obviously don’t know jack shit about me.”

More eyerolls!

Then a thought hit me. Something I should have picked up on when Gilda first came out of the carriage. How the fuck did she boil and cook the garlic bread?! At first I wanted to question the whole feat she pulled off but I decided against it and kept my mouth shut. Better to not know, am I right?

“It occurs to Trixie, that you haven’t shared a story so far,” the blue mare piped up, ruining my good mood despite the garlic bread. Well, not fully ruined but annoyed more like it. I was hoping that I could get away without actually having to speak too much about myself because damn do I like the whole mysterious and brooding type of look.

I remember being a little kid and always placing myself in that situation in my head, being the badass type of character that hardly anyone actually knew about because he wouldn’t speak much and left his origins in the dark no matter what. I think a lot of kids like to do that, honestly … well some then.

I finished swallowing my garlic bread before speaking. “Well you never really asked, so I never really spoke.”

“Well now we’re asking you to speak, dork,” Gilda spoke up as she circled around to look at me before flying back up above us, then taking a perch on the caravan behind us, a decently loud ‘thunk’ confirming it.

“Okay, okay, fine. What do you want to hear? ‘Cause I’ve got a whole shit tonne of stories that I could tell,” I said, though that wasn’t the full truth, and I’ll explain to you via the next section of dialogue, which did happen! No, I’m not going to be making it up as a device to explain stuff to you.

“Got anything from when you were a cub?” Gilda asked from her perch.

“It’s kid for humans, which I thought I already cleared up with you,” I replied first then answered her first question, “and not really. Even with my awesome memory, I can’t remember anything too far back … it only comes to me in bits and pieces, fragments really.”

Which is the truth, there is only a few select stories that I remember from when I was young, the rest being nothing more than some scattered pieces that float together at times but yet feel wrong. It’s not something I can actively change either, the nanites are already miracle workers but even that I bet is beyond their ability.

“Iron Will finds that tough to believe, there has to be even one story,” he said from his spot in the walking formation.

I thought about it for a moment then did realise I had one story that I knew very well. It was a great family story to tell. “Yeah, I’ve got one actually.”

“Let’s hear it already, dweeb!” Gilda more or less shouted, her impatience making me want to smack her upside the head.

“Fine, fine. Right, so back when I was twelve, my family and I went on a trip to another country and continent. Specifically a place called Europe but that means next to nothing for you three. Anyway, we were in a small town in Germany, the name of the country, and my dad wanted to see a castle that was located close to the town. So one day we made a nice little hiking journey of it. Let me tell you right now, for what it was planned to be it spiralled pretty far.”

“We left the small hotel and walked to a main road. I spotted a sign on it that said the castle was five miles to our left, but my dad being the infinite font of wisdom he usually was, decided that we should go right, up this massive fucking hill because normally castles are overlooking valleys. So up this long ass winding road, probably about three klicks or so at a twenty degree angle, we climbed and let me tell you, it was fucking tiring as fuck. At the top, my mom and I took a break while my dad kept going to see if there was anything in the distance. He came back and to our annoyance, no … no there wasn’t.”

“So I get the second best idea of the day, in a non-joking way either. I said we should cross the fields so that we could get to the valley it might be in according to that sign I saw earlier. So we basically trespassed across some fields before coming to another hill … this time it was a fifty degree or so descent through trees. After a bunch of zig-zagging down so we didn’t slip and start rolling, we came to a path. Following said path led us right to where we wanted to be! Not the castle, but the parking lot that led to a five klick walk to the castle!”

“By the time we got to the castle my mom and I were tired as fuck and even my dad was starting to waver. Now we also had to walk all the way back, which meant that all in all we did a twenty plus kilometer walk when in reality it should have been something like ten klicks at the very most. Sure we got to see a very beautiful castle, but the moral at the end of the day was that my dad was never allowed to lead the group again,” I said, finishing my story.

Admittedly, I went into more detail when I told them but the only real additions were descriptions of the place and a little more on the castle. Not worth mentioning. So I decided to slim it down for you all.

The story wasn’t anything of hilarity or awesome so the reactions were dull at best, most of them just nodding or whatever, though Gilda was bored from the story. In fact she decided to voice said boredom. “That was lame.”

“Lame in the retelling but it’s a good memory for me. Besides, all my ‘awesome’ ones are darker then shit, catbird. Not a great time to be telling them in my opinion,” I replied with a little bit of a darker tone. I wanted to keep things light instead of stories about Reckoning, keep them from that topic. Well that was part of the reason.

Yeah, it hurts to talk about it sometimes and that was one of those times. Mainly after recanting that tale I was thinking of my parents, and even if that was many years ago, it was fresh in my mind. I remember them every day and telling stories of times when they were alive is relieving yet still opening old wounds at the same time. Then going on to speak of times without them just hurts … yeah, it’s rough being me, ain’t it? Don’t worry, I’m good today.

Gilda was quiet after that and in fact the whole group was. Yep, major party killer here. It’s a title I’ve owned for a while, I think.

It took a little bit of walking in rather awkward silence before they started talking again. This time it was all directed at Iron Will regarding Tayros. He told the group about where he was born, a small town that was closer to the mountains. It was called Klayne and was nothing of note but it was close enough to Hellespont that he was able to go to the city when he was young. His description of the city was something that made me long to visit it.

“We lived under the shadow of the mountain range but there was a well carved road that led up to it as well as an ancient elevator. The city sat at the top of the two mountains, ancient minotaurs having basically carved the tips into massive cities made of gargantuan rock, then connected the tips of three mountains by large stonebridges. They are still marvels of what our ancient selves could do with stone.”

He didn’t describe much more than that, leaving my imagination to wander and try to sculpt a decent image of the place. Admittedly I was working with very little, but that was of no issue. We’d get to see it soon enough if I had anything to say about it.

But one line held me up, “wait, elevator? You have fucking elevators?”

“Iron Will takes it you know about them as well?” He asked to which I nodded my head. “Well the one there is an ancient thing, but it is massive and is located close to the heart of the mountain. While we have had success in recreating smaller ones, Tayros engineers are still baffled at how our ancient kin pulled off such a feet. I am impressed to say the least.”

Then Gilda cut in, turning the conversation in a completely different direction.

“Hey, idiot,” Gilda said, obviously speaking to me because who else did she call that? No on. “What side is Hellespont on?”

It seemed that Iron Will’s description sparked her interest as well, but in all honesty I think that was just because it would allow her to fly at high heights and use clouds … my personal opinion at the time.

“The Nation’s. The mountain range is technically in Red Banner territory but from what I read, the Tayros army still holds the entire mountain range. Probably a pretty vital area,” I said with a shrug.

“It is, there is many a mine pit around there. Hellespont is probably the most wealthy city in all of Tayros, Iron Will believes,” spoke … Iron Will. I instantly knew a place we were going to try and visit. Mines plus wealth usually meant gold in ancient times, and if anything, this planet was still a place that used lots of gold.

What can I say? I’m a greedy bastard.

Iron Will went on to talk more about his country from what he could recollect, and honestly I cherry picked information from his tale, mainly because he talked much like me at times, a rambler when it came to inconsequential details.

Then they decided to throw me under the bus as a collective group. Apparently my zoning out was bothering them so they had to get me involved! Well, not actually, but hell that might as well be what they were trying to do.

Though honestly, the questions weren’t bad, just that they hit home a little more than I’d like it.

“Say, idiot,” Gilda said, to which no one responded, mainly because that could have been any of us. “You said you’re what, forty years old?”

Only when she dropped the age did I know she was speaking to me, “yeah, something like that. Your point?”

“Well you’ve lived longer than us, so you’ve got to have a tonne of cool stories, right? I mean your story earlier was lame but you’ve got more, right?” Gilda continued, for once not being patronizing or rude.

“By that logic I’ve done everything tonnes of times, but yeah I’ve got more stories. Not necessarily cool mind you, but stories nonetheless. I’ve already told you, they are dark, Gilda. We’re talking mind numbing stuff,” I replied casually. At this point I was so used to the gruesome acts that I’m pretty sure I would be diagnosed with every trauma related stuff a psychologist could name.

“Considering the world that you described for us, Iron Will believes they will be as badflank as I am. They might be dark but it is nothing but stories,” Iron Will added with a grin, trying to pry something from me.

I simply shrugged before replying, “stories can torture and torment a mind as much as living through the actual events.”

“Come on, dweeb, you’ve got to tell us something!” Gilda said as she swooped down from her perch on the caravan. “Something that is better than that first story!”

“Trixie is inclined to agree, such tales she can use as part of her show!” Trixie added, probably snickering at the ganging up on me. I guess that’s what happens when you act like a cool and distant bastard.

“Fine, fine,” I replied, throwing my hands up in the air. “Give me a second, I need to remember a good one for you pesky fuckers.”

So we walked for a little bit longer, and while I was tempted to just not talk after that because of my stubbornness to not relive events, I actually did use those moments to contemplate which story I wanted to tell.

“Right, I’ve got one that isn’t too dark,” I said at first before taking a decent breath in preparation. “I think it was roughly five years after The Reckoning, and I had done a trip around North America just by pure happenstance and letting things take me where I needed to go. It was about this time that I came to the conclusion that despite everything that happened, we would one day thrive again but probably not in my time. I mean, I was seeing people rebuilding in small settlements and starting to get used to the new land. Things, you could say, were going to be fine.”

“Also in that fifth year of survival, I decided that I was going to see how the rest of the world had fared, even if it killed me. I mean, I made it that far with hardly anything greater than some scars to show. So why not test my luck overseas. Either way, I needed to do one last thing before I made for my trip which I knew would probably last a decade or something. I decided to once again visit the places I knew the best, or had known,” I said casually, that was the easy part. Only gets harder the more you remember.

“Visited my home city, which was basically a jungle at that point, that had overgrown vines masses that were in the shape of buildings, and some of the places I used to frequent back then. Yeah, it wasn’t much to see considering that the few buildings there that somehow were not covered in vines were empty and lifeless. After that, I decided to visit the city I was born in, heading down south to visit that … yeah, there wasn’t much of the city left as it had turned into one massive lake inside of a crater. It had been a regular city alongside a river and in some small rolling hills at one point,” I said shaking my head with a small chuckle.

“Trixie is not sure if she believes you,” the blue mare said skeptically.

“You don’t need to if you don’t want to, just telling you what I saw. Hell if I know how it happened, it just did, probably a nuke,” I said with a shrug. “Anyways, I moved from there to another city, one where a good portion of my extended family was staying. Much to my surprise, the city was still more or less standing, though a lot of the houses had a very worn or blasted look. There were many bomb craters scoured among the empty ruins, but overall it was the city that had kept its condition the best. Probably because it was not touched from the Reckoning, just the war.”

I paused to look at them before remembering to clarifying something that Iron Will was not told. “Don’t know if you have them here but bombs are massive explosive ordinance that are dropped from skies by planes akin to the airship. Though there is another variant that is propelled via fuel from great distances away.”

Iron Will nodded his head before I continued on, “so I made my way from the city pretty quickly because it felt eerie as fuck. I was going to make my way to another one I knew I had once had family in, but instead decided to stop in at this town that I visited many years past, that had managed to make a livable life. Town called Cypress Hills, though it was more of a park before the war and the Reckoning. Either way, this place had fought to survive and last I had seen it, it was starting to thrive on its own. So I figured why not make my way there, it was a place that my family often frequented so it would at least bring back good memories.”

“The drive to the park was hard because the land was choppy as fuck, with the hills and valleys having changed completely, making the entirety of it difficult to navigate. Yet thanks to my bike that I was using, a fuel powered bike, it didn’t take too long. You know what a bike is, yes?” I asked, to which they rolled their eyes at me. “Of course you do but how do I know? Anyway, so I eventually made it to the outskirts of the place, not the walled gate they had but the outskirts of the relatively big forest this place was. It was exactly the same as I remembered it from the previous visit. I was amazed, the first time I visited, at how little it changed, if at all. And still after all that time in between, it was still the same, so I just shook my head and went ahead with approaching the gate.”

“See, the gate they had was a relatively new thing, since it wasn’t there last time, but I had suggested they build one to help keep out unwanted ‘guests.’ Well they took my advice to heart, so much so that when I rolled up I was met with the Spanish Inquisition … and cultural humour is lost on those who are not of my culture. Right. So, they met me with weapons drawn and ready to kill me. Skip the dialogue a little and I managed to convince them that all I wanted to do was barter for fuel if they had any. Which they had loads of since it became retardedly common for no fucking reason. It’s like Mother Nature decided to laugh at Alberta and make oil even more abundant there.”

I paused as a thought came to mind, it never occurred to me if oil and gas were a ‘universal’ constant or if it might have been just my Earth.

“You guys use gasoline, or oil, right?” I asked, actually not sure.

“It is a crude method of fuel compared to magic but it has its uses,” Trixie said in confirmation.

“Really? Damn, if only I was a chemical engineer, I could help you guys learn to make it more efficient,” I mused.

“More efficient?” Iron Will asked, a little curious as to what I meant.

“Well, I’m only grasping at straws but from what it sounds like, you guys have a really unrefined version of it. Sure it’s not as efficient as stuff that your own fucking body creates but it would be a good supple-”

“Will you fucking get on with it already?!” Gilda shouted before letting her face hit the caravan roof. “I just wanted to hear a badass tale, not some science-schmience stuff!”

“Calm your horses, cat-bird!” I instinctively replied which earned me a smuck upside the head via magic from Trixie. I knew what I did wrong there, stupid human colloquialisms. “Right, sorry. Anyway, after getting allowed in to trade, I made my way, escorted mind you, to the refueling station. Thankfully my pack had enough needed trinkets to pay for my gas, so it was no true hassle. So I’m waiting on my bike tanks to be filled when this guy comes up to me, apparently recognizing me from last time, his name was Greg. We get into a little conversation about everything that’s been going on in the town and he tells me of all the new improvements and people that came to town.”

“As we’re talking, I’m looking around at everything that’s going on, and I notice this one guy who’s grouped up with a group of five other guys, looking like they are preparing to go out hunting or scaving. I ask Greg if he knows that guy’s name. ‘Of course I do,’ he says. ‘Name’s Tanner! Family of his, pretty big one, came to town a couple of years ago. They’ve been a good addition.’ It finally fucking clicks, it’s one of my fucking cousins. I actually had family that survived. From the sounds of it, more than a few family members survived. And here they were, living in Cypress Hills. I was shocked silent for a few seconds, with Greg asking me what was wrong. I replied nothing, thankfully just in time for my fuel to be finished. Having paid for it already, I simply told him I’d be around sometime again before starting my bike up and riding for the gate.”

“The group Tanner was a part of was heading that way as well. So I rolled up to them and ‘sat’ next to them and waited for the gate to open like they did. They were waiting on a vehicle to be pulled up to the front, so I simply just sat and stared at my cousin, not really knowing if I could say anything or what I would even say. Hell, he couldn’t recognize me, what with my shades, hat and the general beard coverage on my face, it would have been a damn miracle. Eventually he notices me staring at him, just as their truck pulls up and the gate is open. He says ‘you alright there?’ I don’t respond at first, thinking it was just better to drive off and leave well enough alone. Yet my mind was a complete dick there. You know what I said?”

I don’t wait for them to respond, simply moving forward. “I said ‘Yeah, just seeing a ghost for the first time.’ Then I pull my scarf up and gun it, high tailing it out of the town. Yeah, I fucking pulled a bullshit cliffhanger type ending there. For the next fucking week I felt sick to my stomach for not saying something, for not visiting my fucking relatives, those who I had known since I was little. Yet there I went, galavanting off to fucking Europe, and when I did return to North America, still didn’t visit them.”

I stopped there, taking a second to let out a rather defeated breath. Shit, it was a harder memory for me than I thought, though only now it isn’t as bad. I’ve visited them since I’ve come back and it was nice to finally see relatives, despite the news that my parents were long dead of course. Still …

“Fuck, when I get home, I’m going to make a fucking beeline for that place and see them. Put it off for too fucking long,” I said before removing my hat and running my hand across my head. “So yeah, that’s my little tale.”

“Dude,” Gilda said, her voice making it obvious that she actually felt emotions for the first time in her life. Boom! She was going to speak more, I think, but Trixie cut her off.

“Trixie is sorry to hear about that, Trixie knows the feeling of not making the most out of chances,” she said, to which Iron Will chipped in his sentiments.

“So does Iron Will,” he said. I knew that Gilda would add hers in as well, if she deemed us worthy of hearing it, but I’d had enough sap.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s in the past, and I know how to fix it, it so I don’t even dwell on it,” I said before trully taking note of the surroundings. The sun was slowly setting so we were getting close to our time to post up camp. I figured that perhaps we could add in some extra distance, so I proposed an idea.

“Listen, I can go at a decent jog for about an hour before collapsing, let’s try to double our pace for the next little bit, cover some more ground before we call it a night and settle down, sound good?”

“Iron Will has no issue with it, I am always in the best shape of my life,” the bull added with a smirk.

Gilda simply looked at us lazily, “couldn’t even touch my speed but I might as well humour you all.”

I looked to the blue mare, “think you can pull that for an hour?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has been doing it her whole life!” she boasted with a smirk while tilting her head upwards. I rolled my eyes before starting off the ‘running pace.’

I might be old, kiddies, but old Uncle Ryan can still out distance the lot of you. See I used to be a sprinter in my youth, but over time I slowly worked myself into a more of a distance runner. I’m no competitive runner or anything but I can tell you that I’m better than the average person by a good amount. Outran more than a few people in my lifetime, but my major worry is my heart seizing up. I know my limits though, and as long as these little machines in me want to live, they’ll help me stay at that ‘limit.’

…

I’m not fucking kidding. They help me stay in good shape despite the age, nothing crazy or out of this world but I don’t need that. I just need to stay healthy and not die … though I was kidding about them wanting to stay alive. Who the fuck knows if they have any sort of special programing or sentient thought.

Either way, let me brief you on the next hour of the tale.

We ran.

And ran.

Then ran some more.

Continued to run even more.

And we ran, we ran so far away.

Then finally, when we were finished running for the whole hour, we finally came to a stop, with Trixie and I huffing the most, age and her lack of being a warrior or a bird that barely even got a workout … fucking catbird bullshit. Iron Will was not lying when he said he was in the best shape of his life. Sure he was panting a little but not even close to the level I was. Still, we made good time despite everything.

When we set up camp, Gilda managed to actually do a lot of the work, all the while snickering at the fact that I was laying on the ground, panting as I tried to catch my breath which just wanted to keep running away from me. Still, they were kind in not making me do anything, letting the old guy get a nice little rest.

Like the previous night, we ate around the campfire, this time it was a lot quieter than the rest, what with us having been talked out from all the walking. Though Trixie and Iron Will managed to strike up some small conversations, mainly them comparing notes in showmanship. Gilda ate in relative silence while I munched away slowly and surveyed the land as it slowly fell to night.

We sat around the campfire, somewhat quietly for a bit, before the yawns started to come out. It had been a rather long day, and we had another two by Iron Will’s estimation, with our arrival being on the second day. So we pulled the same watch shifts again, but the earlier bed time meant that we did three hour shifts instead, a good nine hours of sleep for us all.

First shift was mine like last time, and this time it was … exactly the same. Walked around slowly to pass the time, sat by the fire and kept it stoked, did some minor cleaning and maintenance on my guns. Other than that, it was a boring three hours of doing buttfuck all.

Trust me, I know how boring it is when there is nothing to actually do. Worked in sales for a little bit, and that had long bouts of nothing happening. Even Electrical had good spans of pure nothingness as we waited for material or clearance. So yeah, while I might have been prepared for three hours of boring nothing, it was still three hours of absolutely nothing.

So, skip ahead some three hours; which was me jabbing Iron Will in the side enough that he woke from sleep. He simply grumbled at me before sliding off the top of the caravan, allowing me my place to sleep. Though before I closed my eyes to sleep, I stared back up at the night sky again.

Some of you probably heard my rambling about this if you caught the earlier part of the adventure, but it’s one thing I’ll never get over. See, the night sky you see now is extremely clear thanks to the lack of light pollution from major cities. Back before the Reckoning, there used to be major light pollution except in the most obscure areas, away from most of civilization. Somehow, in Equestria, there was no light pollution at all, and everything was extremely clear. It’s impossible to describe but I swear that it was clear enough you could see distant galaxies and gas clouds in space. Fucking beautiful.

Before I closed my eyes, I figured that I’d let Luna visit me that night, and hopefully it would be a nice visit this time. The last one was too serious … though in hindsight I should have known that my luck would never have allowed it to be a non-business visit.

So I closed my eyes and decided to put myself in the exact same place as we were, though I was sitting on the edge of the caravan, looking down at the fire, no Iron Will or others around. Just me. A nice little dream to allow Luna to visit. I even tried to remember the exact night sky the way I saw it before I slept. Hey, even the nanomachine-added eidetic memory had loopholes in it.

I waited for a little bit, staring up at my remembered night sky, trying to get it as perfect as possible, shifting stars around with my hand before Luna’s voice spoke up from below the caravan ledge.

“You had it right the first time; Alpha Mirathati and Callippe should be switched,” Luna said calmly before flapping her wings up to the caravan. I simply shifted over a bit while making the caravan wider, so she could sit next to me. She spoke again as she landed, “though you did a good job of remembering my night … minus some very noticeable differences.”

“Only noticeable since apparently you make the night sky yourself,” I said with blatant sarcasm. She simply chuckled, knowing that it was all in good fun … and minor bafflement still. I mean after a while I learned to accept it, but you don’t just discount fucking physics. Well … kind of. I explained it already, right? That Luna simply just obscures or allows certain parts to be seen? Yeah, knew I did. Still defying fucking physics.

We sat there for a moment as Luna moved the stars around to make it exactly as only she would know … or some astrologer that had an eidetic memory as well. Either way, it was interesting to see Luna manipulate the dream with what seemed like a physical act of movement. Usually it just bent to my will, but hey, to each their own.

“Is this where you are?” she asked, gesturing to the made up surroundings.

“Mhm, camped out for the night, and on the move tomorrow. We’re making good time. Iron Will said we’d be there in two more days. Well, two more days he said, but that probably means arrival on the third day. I think we’re pulling something like fifty klicks in a day. Don’t know the exact distance to Ishtar though, so for all I know it could be two weeks away,” I said while flailing my arms around comically, earning a small giggle.

She composed herself, for whatever reason, before responding. “Well, I’ve talked to ‘Tia regarding the situation. We have no typical strategies for instances like this, but we’ve both agreed to let you do what you must. She at first wanted to intervene because of the fact there are Equestrian citizens in your party and in Tayros, but I’ve convinced her that it should be a last line course of action, and that your party is consisted of willing volunteers.”

“Yep, no coercion at all,” I said while pretending to try to look guilty. That only earned an eye roll. “Either way, we shouldn’t be in too much trouble. I can hit a standing target from a little over one kilometer away, though anything more is pushing the round’s effectiveness … so essentially we shouldn’t be in too much trouble as long as we’re careful.”

“Do be careful. It would do none of us any good if you were to get killed at the hands of such crazy beings,” Luna said, to which I quirked up an eyebrow.

“Am I that important to somebody?” I asked while trying my damn best to flutter my eyelashes at her, which in all honesty made me feel fucking awkward as fuck, but I wasn’t the only one! She blushed pretty damn hard at that action.

And just so you know, that confirms nothing! So burn your damn ships already!

…

Don’t worry if you don’t get it, you’re not supposed to and I’m not explaining that to anyone.

We sat around for a little bit longer, as she kept making small adjustments to the sky. It was then, in her ministrations that she stopped and looked as if she had just realised something important.

“How did you remember my night sky that well?” she asked, obviously confused, considering I don’t think I told her anything regarding the nanomachines and their augmented eidetic memory.

I simply shrugged at first before talking. “It’s a long and very complicated story that involved a city and a bunch of machines that are smaller than the eye can see. Basically I was gifted with an incredible memory, eidetic specifically, which allows me to remember moments pretty damn fucking well. Well, not necessarily eidetic … something more advanced I think. Of course there was other bonuses, though it all came at a price.”

She looked at me with a pretty hard stare as if trying to figure out if I was lying before she went back to looking at the night sky. “Considering everything, you’re a very unique individual, you know? Not just that you are the only one of your kind here, but some of the things you speak of sound remarkably familiar yet so different.”

I wanted to question at first but then I came to the realisation … I would never understand what she was talking about. It was kind of like the whole magic thing; it would take a lot of background knowledge first to even come to understand exactly what she meant.

So I just ‘ho-hummed’ at the statement before allowing her to continue to make her little changes. Eventually she finished though, after what felt like an hour, but was probably only a few seconds in real time for all I knew. Or possibly the reverse.

“There, all done!” she spoke with a giant smile; apparently organizing ‘her’ stars, whether it be in real life or a dream, gave her great joy.

“Cool, drink?” I offered as a glass of light brown liquid appeared in my hand. Well in my hands, one for her and one for me, after all.

“Don’t mind if I do!” she said before levitating her glass from my hand and taking a sip. “Mhm! What manner of whiskey is this? It’s smooth and has a nice taste to it, one I can’t place …”

“Glenmorangie,” I stated simply before taking a deep sip of mine, letting the whiskey sit in my mouth briefly before allowing it passage. Still to this day it is one of the best whiskies I had ever tasted, well of the ones that I could get my hands on. I bet there are tonnes of whiskey that I have yet to try … and even more that I will never be able to.

“Truly marvelous,” she said with a sigh before taking another sip. And so we spent the next ten minutes or so, just sipping on our imaginary dream-created whiskey, no conversations taking place. Then Luna decided to drop the heavy topic bomb.

“What do you plan to do in Tayros, Ryan? How do you think you can influence things over there?” Luna asked, changing to her serious mode, though still not exactly looking at me.

I thought it over for a little bit, really considering just what exactly I was expecting to do here. There was a lot to think about, considering that despite everything, even I knew that in the long scheme of things I could at most be a nuisance. Would I really have a chance to actually influence a war? Sure, I subscribe to the whole idea that one shot can truly change the outcome of things. Hell, it’s done it multiple times in the past.

So what could I do over there? In theory, everything and yet just as simply I could change nothing. Double-sided knife, huh?

“You know … I don’t think I know, Luna. Maybe I could change everything, maybe I change nothing,” I replied back, echoing my inner thoughts. “All I know is that if I don’t try, then I will never know just how much I could have affected something. As for what I’m planning … I guess I’ll just do what I do best: survive and fuck things up for those who get on my bad side.”

She simply shook her head, no chuckle, no real emotion. I could tell that her thoughts on the whole thing was ambivalent, just from the action. Well, not tell, but I could guess as to what she was possibly thinking. Who truly knows what someone else is thinking about, am I right?

Either way, she and I didn’t speak to each other after that for a little bit. It was one of those conversations that served its purpose then quickly died because it was of no use to anyone once it was done. I take part in a lot of those type of conversations, always have.

The drinks in our hand and magical grip, respectively, replenished but was not of my doing. Either way, it was a nice little touch. I lifted mine towards Luna.

“A toast, to outlasting death for one more day,” I said with a light chuckle, taking the humour in the situation. I don’t think Luna saw it but she gave it a small chuckle anyway, before clinking her glass against mine.

After downing the drink like a shot, I wiped the remnants that had collected on my beard away before putting the glass down. It was time to change the direction of this get together again.

“So, Luna … how goes ruling Equestria?” I asked, not truly interested in the minute details that would undoubtedly come but either way, it would be a good way to get things rolling. Despite loving the sound of my voice, which you all can tell and I have told you before, I do indeed like to listen to other people rant about shit that doesn’t involve me. Shit that does involve me tends to make me want to walk away quickly …

“Ugh!” she ughed at me before falling backward on to the top of the caravan, which looked odd considering she was a miniature horse with crazy flexible joints, but that is just semantics. “You don’t even want to get me started.”

“Oh, but I do! I do!” I said, in mock giddiness, as I turned slightly to see Luna laying on her back with a foreleg draped over her eyes in a show of utter defeatism.

“Don’t ever tell ‘Tia this but I think she’s gone loony from having to deal with this … farce for so long. It’s as if everything that quote unquote makes the government run, was designed in order to supply menial jobs to those who have a special talent in being menial,” she ranted, obviously exhausted from something or other that had recently happened, and I had a good guess as to what she was referring to.

“Bureaucracy?” I asked with a grin across my face, hoping I was right.

“Bureaucracy!” she exclaimed before jumping off the caravan and walking around, each step of the hoof reverberated the ground in a manner that was more befitting the tossing of a rock into a lake. “I find a rather sizable loophole in multiple recently passed laws regarding property expenditure and expansions, that allow those brown noser nobles to make use of public funds as long as there are patrons that will partake in it. But the best part is that nothing is stated about the patrons, so they could simply allow their ever so tight circle to make use of such facilities and still pass it off! So what did I do? I decide to enact an addendum to re-write this law, then guess what happened when I tried to do that?”

“Bureaucracy?” I asked, leaning on my elbow as I listened to this surprisingly tame rant.

“Motherbucking bureaucracy!” she shouted and pony swore, which only earned a minor eyebrow raise from me. I knew she had better swears. “They gave me a stack of papers, this high!”

She motioned with her hooves to show a stack of paper that probably was half my height but obviously it was an over exaggeration. “How does that flankhole of a pony expect someone to even be able to keep their sanity from that much paperwork over such small loopholes?! I’m a motherbucking Princess! If I can’t expedite a simple thing as an addendum, how the hay am I supposed to rule a country?! Insanity! Utter insanity!”

“Did you lay into him?” I asked, curious as to how this would turn out.

“No and I completely regret not doing such, as it would have probably taught him a lesson on how government should actually work! But no, I had to keep decorum and be all Princessly like. Instead I think to myself, ‘my sister, who has handled all of this over the years, should know how to bypass this.’ So I go see her, and explain to her all that occurred, and you know what she tells me? She tells me to just fill out the paperwork. Fill. Out. The. Paperwork.”

I waited as she took that moment to breathe deep a few times, obviously trying to calm herself down a little. “I think I had an aneurysm, because I don’t remember what I said to her after, all I know is that at the end of it, I was panting, and she was still sipping tea like there was no worry in the world. Though her guards were shaking slightly when she walked me back to my room. Either way, she’ll apparently take of it, and I get left with the duty of looking like a Princess again, but with no power.”

I didn’t want to continue down this path, but I couldn’t stop myself. “No power?”

Right, let me sum this up for you, because it was a long time before she stopped talking about this one. Trust me, it would take a while for me to ‘re-enact the entirety of it because damn she gets long winded when riled up.

Essentially, she went on a spiel about how despite realising her mistakes in letting some Nightmare thing corrupt her, and feeling horrible for her actions, she was still mad at her sister over just how Celestia had treated her, or lack thereof in the past. This resentment was still there because despite the first few months of her sister doting over her, Celestia just went back to her old ways shortly after that time frame and that Luna was once again getting jealous.

She included a fair amount of swears, human and pony. Hell, she went a little overboard at one point, calling Celestia a variable shmorgeshboard of names that probably would have made George Carlin giddy with glee, bless his long dead and angry soul. Let’s just sum it up with saying that Luna is amusing to listen to when she is pissed the fuck off. In the end, I managed to find the perfect way to deflate her from her rant, with a single line, that would be extremely obvious to any of those who listened.

“Talk to her,” I stated in one of the silences that separated the sections of her rant.

“What?” she said, somewhat confused over the simplistic words.

I was listening to her while lying on my back and looking at her while upside down. Why? Because it is amusing to listen to an angry pony rant while technically upside down.

“Talk to her. It solves everything in the long run. Bottling and waiting for something to happen is the best way to repeat mistakes or create new ones. Who knows how many times I’ve done that, so don’t learn by my actions but what I tell you. Talk to her, and tell her how you’re feeling; shit will change, trust me,” I say, all the while still looking at her upside down.

She sat down in her point of circling, all the while looking at me with a rather flat face as if there was some stupid statement I’d said and she needed to point it out. Still, despite how many times she tried to open her mouth to tell me something, she kept closing it until she eventually decided that she needed to do something important.

“Thanks for listening … we’ll talk soon, if that is acceptable?” she asked, to which I nodded. Without a second thought, she disappeared from my dream in a flash of blue.

Honestly, the imaginary buzz I had going from the drinks, and the blood rushing to my head made me care little that things progressed that quickly. Either way, I spent the next little bit messing with the sky before I got the odd feeling of falling.

Apparently the best alarm clock in the world is the ground, because damn did I wake from my dream quickly. Yeah, I found myself face-first on the ground, basically eating dirt as my breakfast. I groaned lightly before pushing myself up. Of course, the first thing I did after waking up from falling off the wagon … was checking to see if anyone had noticed.

Yep, my ego had to be intact before the rest of me. I looked around and luckily found myself to be alone on that side of the caravan. Thank all above because it would have made the trip absolutely unbearable if I had to deal with the others constantly reminding me that I had fallen off the wagon and landed face-first.

After a brief dusting, I got back up and walked around the side to find everyone asleep. Yes, that included Trixie who was supposed to be up and ready for her watch, but nope, she was snoozing by a fire that was slowly dwindling. What could I do but shake my head at that? I mean, I understand the strain your body takes when you change your sleep schedule and do not get enough; trust me, I do.

Still, that does not excuse the fact that something could have easily happened during the night because she fell asleep. I slowly walked over to the curled up blue mare who was snoring slightly, before poking her with my boot. Yes, I was tempted to full on kick her but even I know that is just cruel and unusual, so I just prodded her side with my boot many times before she practically jumped awake.

“Trixie wasn’t sleeping! She was just waiting with her eyes closed!” she practically yelled, apparently knowing full well that she had fallen asleep on us.

I just rolled my eyes while looking down on the sheepish Trixie, who was rubbing the back of her neck in that typical ‘I fucked up, didn’t I?’ type of way. I was going to say something before the caravan door slammed open, and yes I mean open. A rather grumpy, if not outright furious Gilda stormed out. Now, I figured she was going to say something, possibly lay into Trixie for waking her up … nope, instead she plopped her ass down next to the fire that was basically gone.

We waited hesitantly for a few moments, even Iron Will managed to wake up during that time before Gilda finally moved, much to Trixie’s detriment. She reached over and laid a foreleg around the mare before yanking her over in a jerking motion. A single word came out of her beak, “coffee.”

Then she promptly released Trixie, who scampered hurriedly into the caravan.

“Damn, catbird, you are not a morning person,” I said, which earned a throaty growl in return. I raised my hands in attempt for peace. “Jeeze, calm the fuck down, killer.”

Iron Will padded over before sitting down next to me; he at least looked a little bit more acceptable of the fact that it was morning. He didn’t talk, just yawned, which forced me to snap my gaze away from him so I didn’t gain the infectious thing. I managed to fight it off luckily before Trixie walked back out with some coffee; more than a little skittish if the lowered ears were any indication.

Gilda hurriedly grabbed the coffee from her grip, before gulping at the hot liquid. Honestly, I don’t understand where the fuck this new change of personality was coming from as she had not shown such signs in previous mornings. My only guesses were that she either had a bad sleep or that she had been secretly drinking coffee behind my back and was suffering withdrawal from the lack of access to the substance.

Trixie had brought out four cups of the stuff, with Iron Will and herself taking one, but the one she offered to me was obviously rejected. Who has time for coffee when your blood has enough methamphetamines running through it already!

…

That was a joke, never in my life have I touched drugs … minus that one time I took some peyote with a couple of buds who were scaving with me around what used to be Mexico City. It was … something, let’s go with that.

Anyway, let’s not talk about that anymore than what I have said already ...

The breakfast, which was basically cereal this day, which surprisingly did not have some sort of hay or oats base to it, was over quickly as Trixie floated the food and bowls out to us. It was a quiet one for the most part, with Gilda finally getting the nerve up to apologize to Trixie for being a complete bitch, which Trixie accepted. Other than that, it was a rather quiet affair and we were on the road within about forty-five minutes from the point of my awakening.

And yes, I skipped over my morning routine of stretches, because do you really need to hear about me loosening up my body in order to walk? No, the answer is no, you do not. Any other answer is retarded and that is non-negotiable.

So the walking was as fun as usual, though this time, there was a new little factor that was added into the mix of conversations that were talked about in sparsity today.

“This would have gone so much faster if you could just fly,” GIlda muttered, probably just talking out loud but it was loud enough for me to catch it, and she was going to get fucked over because of those words. Well, not really, but my sarcasm dial is usually set on ‘murder by spoon.’

“What a brilliant idea! I’ll just think happy thoughts and grow wings out of my fucking back! Until then, why don’t you join us in the land of the walking for a bit?” I said with a nice laugh at the end, to hopefully show that I wasn’t angry or anything.

“Like walking is oh so hard,” she said in her counter-sarcastic voice.

“It is when Trixie is pulling your fluffy flank around,” the blue mare muttered. Of course I laughed a little too hard at that, and Iron Will managed to chuckle at our antics. Gilda of course got pretty defensive but then she pulled up some solid backing.

“Oh please, you have spells on this, I can bucking feel them, needle head,” she said before point at me, “and you. You’re supposed to be some badass that doesn’t feel pain so why are you complaining?”

Okay, so the first part was good backing, but the second part was ‘meh’ at best. Either way, she had Trixie in a box and she was grasping at straws on my side. In fact, Trixie was blushing slightly at the fact that she had been called out on them, which made me curious, but that could be saved for later.

“You’re right, if I shot myself in the arm right now, I wouldn’t even feel it … of course I feel pain! Christ, you must be hard of hearing. But I’ll forgive you catbird, as long as you get those wings pumping and fly ahead,” I told her, shaking my head at the sheer stupidity of what she was saying.

“Fly ahead and what? Make a welcome mat for you?” she asked.

“You went to some high end flight academy, right? Well you should be able to do some quick math and figure out how far we are from our destination. Hell, you’ll get some nice exercise and hopefully lose all that extra fat you’ve been saving since winter,” I said, then I waited a full second before rolling out of the way as a possibly pissed off Gilda swooped down and just missed slapping me over the head. That time with Tempest on the boat really did good things for my foresight … that, and hearing the shifting of a body in motion.

As she flew past us, she turned around, stuck her tongue out in a raspberry and gave me the gryphon approximation of a middle finger. By that, I mean that they don’t have four fingers and a thumb, but instead they had three claws and a thumb claw … thing …

Yeah, anyway, we continued walking though this time it was in relative quiet, some minor conversation popping up, mainly asking if Iron Will had ever walked this before, to which he replied that he hadn’t. Then he went on to tell us all about how he actually had few such chances back when he had lived in Tayros.

So once again I’m stuck with telling you that we walked for a while, before something actually happened, that being that Gilda finally came back. She flew back in with rather tame speeds before settling down back on to the caravan.

“So?” I asked, not even looking back.

“Well, from what I can tell,” she said with a pause in the middle, “we’re still far away.”

We kept walking, I didn’t even bother responding to that at first, trying as hard as I could to not acknowledge that she had said something as stupid as that. Well it was hard to keep going without making some sort of comment on what she said, so eventually it all boiled down to one line. “I don’t even know what I expected.”

She laughed pretty hard at my admittance that I should not have put my trust into her to actually do something worthwhile. Well, in reality that is false. She would do something that was needed if it was actually needed. I’m pretty sure that she just figured that the little errand I sent her on was not in fact that important.

Eventually she stopped laughing and calmed down before replying. “Chill out, nerd, we’re about a day’s trek from the city limits. We’ll be there by tomorrow at midday at this rate.”

“And you call me a nerd, miss, I can estimate arrival times based upon fifteen minutes of eyeballing and head math,” I replied, obviously tongue-in-cheek.

“Any gryphon worth their salt should be able to tell you these things, so I’m not a nerd if everygryph can do it,” she argued, punctuating it with a raspberry to which I just rolled my eyes at.

The chatter calmed down for a brief moment before a thought struck me that I was curious on. “Hey, Iron Will?”

“Yes?”

“This wasn’t the first time you’ve killed someone was it?” I asked, trying my best to keep the convo as light as it possibly could be.

He took a moment before he replied, “no, it wasn’t. Despite the peaceful ways of our country, there are those who see such ideals as pointless and want to harm others. My time in our country’s military put me in situations like this before. They were few and far apart.”

I hummed in response, no real statement can be made to that response. Iron Will was proving with each sentence that he had deeper thoughts than what I originally thought of him. Admittedly I was rather judgemental off the bat, not giving him much credit. So it was a pleasant surprise to hear such thoughts come from him. Of course, they always backfire as it slowly turned to me.

“The answer would be the same for you,” Iron Will stated more than asked. “It was obvious that you’ve had to kill before. From what you’ve said, you live in a very harsh place, but that does not mean you need to kill; so what is your reason?”

“It’s become too easy,” I reply with a tired sigh. Too much damn introspection. “Sure it wasn’t needed, but I didn’t get lucky enough to avoid such instances. Instead, I found myself hopping from one incident to another, unlucky enough to be involved in more death than what should be allowed in one lifetime. So you could say that I’ve become dull to the idea of death. It’s not a state of mind that you want to be in, though.”

A few moments of silence elapsed for that to sink in, before Trixie spoke up, breaking it. “Will you ever tell us about some of the darker stories?”

I wanted to tell them no as always, I mean they kept somehow making their roundabout way to this topic, like they were trying to comfort or analyze me, but I kept my ground as strong as I could. I mean, I could tell that they would continue to push against that self-imposed wall but it would not collapse … not fully.

“Perhaps when you know the experience of ending another thinking being’s life by your own power,” I said rather darkly. Being the dark depressing guy I am, I wanted to end the convo and stew in my own head because who the fuck wants to open up and relinquish their fucking emotions, am I right?

Yeah, old-enough-to-know-better-me is still a stupid kid at times. I blame it on spending too much time imagining characters in my own head. It created a complex and character archetype that I prefer to portray instead of just reacting how I would naturally react. Shit, I think I might have forgotten how to do that in some situations.

Anyway, that ended that conversation rather quickly and pretty much killed it entirely for us. The next hour or so was rather quiet, with very few things to talk about aside from reiterating questions asked in previous days. It’s tough to keep conversations fresh when you have three consecutive days of little activity to actually spark the ideas as to what to talk about.

So I just let it be, and so it went that way until night started to creep in around us, the sun slowly setting. Oh, it wasn’t entirely quiet throughout the rest of the hours that passed by, but my words more or less cut off my adding into the conversations and the group tried to talk amongst themselves, but it was little and far apart. I felt a little bad for them because I had more or less screwed the pooch in terms of conversational etiquette. So I figured I’d make up for it at supper time.

Well, slightly after supper. As we lounged around the campfire, I passed out a little bit of Ambershine to the group and allowed them to take a few sips before I went with the best topic I could manage, and it is a good one. “New topic for you guys. Best drunken tales. I’ll start.”

I cleared my throat before proceeding. “So, I’m living in this small town, going to school there because they had a good baseball team. A sport I played back home. So, at the end of the season, the entire team loads up on booze and heads down to this lake that was nearby. We’re out there drinking and having a good time, and over the course of the night more and more people show up. As it gets darker, we start building a bonfire out of wood and beer cases. Eventually this thing is pretty damn high and I’m constantly stoking it up with this stick I found among other things. We’ve got the music playing and this one song comes on. It’s got a catchy beat, being electronic mainly, the music builds up and I heft this beer case in the air as the song hits a peak, then just as the music drops and get’s crazy, I slam the thing down in the fire to a few cheers. Well one spark … one pretty big spark happens to fly out and lands in this girl’s hair. Well then shit got funny as she freaks out before running and jumping in the lake much to everyone’s amusement. She comes back, clothes soaking wet, and out of nowhere just begins stripping down. It was fucking wild, nothing happened mind you but still … fucking wild. Was a hell of a night and I’ll remember it for as long as I am around.”

I took a sip before deciding to end my story on one final note. “It might not have been the craziest thing I’ve ever done while drunk, but it’s the best because all of those guys I partied with, will always be special to me … and I’ll never see them again.”

There wasn’t really much a response, sure the group chuckled at the right moments but there wasn’t a response to the ending. Instead, a dull silence hung there in the air before Iron Will took his turn.

“Iron Will remember’s this one time, during our boot camp way back when, we had just finished our training and it was the perfect time for all of us to drink to our heart's content without any consequence. And Iron Will means no consequence, as our commanding officers gave us a weekend to do whatever as long as it wasn’t illegal. Now, the first night wasn’t too bad, but it did end up with most of us passing out in a tavern drinking. It was the second night that things got rather intense. We had continued drinking throughout the day, so there was no doubt that we were drunk come nightfall! Eventually, one of Iron Will’s platoon mates got this idea: let’s rig up some flash powder bombs to all of the latrine flush pulleys. It took a lot of effort but we managed to draw the active duty guard from the armoury away, long enough to pluck some of the bombs out and run away! We snuck into the latrines and the least drunk of us rigged up the devices, making sure to keep it non-lethal, in each stall, Bull and Sow’s, and we bust it for the closest barrack with a line of view,” Iron Will tells us with a snort before continuing on.

“So we’re sitting in there, giggling like a bunch of calves, when a whole group go into the latrine! The mess hall had served horrible beans and given us the best luck possible. It only took five minutes for all Tartarus to break loose as one by one, loud cracks erupted from both sides of the latrines! Once one flash bomb went off, it started a whole chain reaction and soon enough there was pure chaos around the latrines! Guards come running in, Captains and the like rush to see the commotion and you have a bunch of recently flashed minotaurs struggling to get out, it was a beautiful sight,” Iron Will said with a giant laugh, my own mixing in as well as snickers from Gilda and Trixie. He sighed before wrapping up the story. “Unfortunately they caught us red handed and drunk, so the next day was fun in how badly we got our assess cheewed while running till we passed out. It almost makes me miss my time in the Army.”

We took a few more sips of our drinks and let the little bit of laughter die down, before we moved to our next storyteller, who I volunteered because she needed to be more sociable. “Gilda, let’s hear yours!”

“Don’t really got any good ones,” Gilda said with a shrug.

“Oh please, there has to be something, you can’t tell me with a straight face that you never got blitzed once in your life and had a hilarious story,” I replied, pointing a rather accusatory finger at her.

She tapped her claw against her chin for a moment before she seemed to remember something. “Well, the only thing that comes to mind is the night of our graduation. Dash and I, along with a few other dweebs went out and got smashed into next week. Well, during our night of drinking, the drunk ones of the group managed to convince the more sober ones to sneak into our flight instructor’s room. With a little bit of skill, we pried him and his bed out of his room, and went on a nice little flight around Cloudsdale and all the way to Canterlot. We, haha, we left him, on his bed, hovering outside of one of the castle towers! We completely forgot about him, until the next day when he comes storming into our dorms and proceeds to scream his head off, despite being able to do jack all about it. The lame-os at the school couldn’t touch us anymore so we just laughed him out of the dorms.”

I admittedly was howling pretty good at that one. Fuck, it made me wish I could fly because of all the fucking shenanigans I would be able to pull of. Still, it was a good short story, and damn did it help give her some social confidence because she was actually smiling!

The night was a success as far as I was concerned, so with that we all kind of started to glance over at Trixie who seemed to be staring off into space as though she was trying to think of something. I honestly was surprised with what she said.

“In all of Trixie’s time on the road, she admits that she does not have any good drinking stories … most of her stories are either told in grandiose effort for the sake of her show, or they simply fall flat,” the mare said with her ears more or less pinned against her head in apparent shame or something. “So Trixie will pass.”

“Really, nothing? The Great and Powerful Doofus, has nothing?” Gilda said, though the mocking tone wasn’t her normal one, it actually had an ounce of feeling to it … only an ounce. “I’m shocked.”

“Well when one has to work constantly to live and actually be something in Equestria, it tends to take up all of her time,” she huffed back in defense.

“But even before that? Nothing?” I offered, hoping to spark at least something, but nope, got shot down.

“Trixie did not have much luxury in life. She worked hard in school and out of school to afford to go to Canterlot University but wasn’t able to make anything of it, despite putting her all into it. Trixie had no time to go out and party.”

“Hmm,” I hummed out for a moment, almost willing to let it pass and offer a change in subject, but then I remembered something that happened on the Daedalus.

Oh yes.

It was indeed that certain something.

“Really, you’re sure there wasn’t one particular bender that you might have went on?” I asked, my left eyebrow raising as I leaned down on my hand. Trixie seemed initially oblivious to my implications.

“Trixie know’s Trixie’s own life, so she is sure,” she replied with a flat stare.

“You’ve forgotten that night on the Daedalus already?” I asked with an eyebrow wiggled, which earned a curious look from Iron Will but caused Gilda and Trixie to more or less choke on their drinks. Of course I was howling like a hyena. I didn’t fully see their reactions because I was laughing too fucking hard at the initial ones, but I can only imagine just how red they were when I brought that up.

Being the sneaky bastard I am, I ducked to the side as Trixie hurled a plastic plate at me, just to get smacked by the cup Gilda held. Still laughing, I scrambled away as the two shouted various obscenities at me, including actual swears. I’m pretty sure Iron Will was clueless but I couldn’t tell; tough to do so when you’re hauling ass away from the two, while laughing all the while.

I was wheezing a little by the time I was far enough to see that they’d stopped caring. I couldn’t help but continue laughing despite everything. One of the moments when I could be a real dick, but ehh, I was alright with it. It’s who I am after all, why would I try to change something as inconsequential in the long term as how much you are liked? Maybe if I was going to stick around for longer but ehh, it was of no worry to me at that moment.

Eventually I slowly wandered back to the camp, night had fully fallen so I didn’t want to be that far away from the fire just in case there was something out there that had better night vision than I had. I carefully peaked around the side of the caravan, keeping the rest of my body out of sight; the three were still sitting around the campfire but Gilda and Trixie had noticeably distanced themselves from each other, probably out of sheer shame.

“Can I come back or am I gonna get a plate to the head if I try?” I asked, earning mild glares from the gals, and a smirk from Iron Will who looked like he approved of me being assaulted. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I sat back down at the campfire, before snapping a twig near my spot and tossing it into the fire. Sure, I didn’t really need it because Trixie was using her magic to keep the fire stoked, but that didn’t mean I didn’t like the little things such as taking care of such a deadly thing.

There was a good amount of silence before I decide to try and do my best at negotiating. Despite being a dick, I didn’t like others being mad at each other. I can handle people being mad at me, but not others I am near.

“Still, you can’t say it wasn’t at least fun?” I offered to Trixie and Gilda, which just earned more glares at me; perhaps they were softer, but I honestly doubt it. “Yeesh, you two got sticks up your asses. Don’t see why. Drunk sex is nothing more than a no strings attached way of letting off stress and having fun. Don’t see why you two are fuming so much.”

See in my infinite wisdom and experiences, I rationalized such events down to that. Of course, that’s me, in my lacking of infinite wisdom, forgetting that not everyone sees things that way and some see sex as more than just a fun way of relieving stress … and procreation. Some tie sex into a very emotional action. Either way, my approach to the subject matter was wrong as I think I caused a large aneurysm for Trixie and a small one for Gilda.

I then realised I had let the whole incident out of the bag and now Iron Will knew, though from the look on his face, he cared little, instead being more amused by the reactions from Gilda and Trixie.

Amazingly enough I didn’t get attacked, instead Trixie simply stood up, marched into the caravan, then shut the door … hard. Gilda took off and flew up to the roof, claiming it for her own. It was going to be one of those nights, the one where I sleep but it is tentative and with some decent back pain.

“Well shit,” I muttered before laying flat on my back against the dirt. I had first watch so it didn’t matter what I did for the next two hours, all that mattered was that I stayed awake. I just laid there as Iron Will moved around outside of my field of vision while I just stared up at the night sky that was clouded over tonight. It made me realise that if we ever got rain over night we’d be screwed as fuck.

At least that was until I realised that Trixie’s stage popped out, so we’d have access to a little bit of protection from the elements. Still not enough to really make a difference but hell, it would be something.

So I waited and walked for a little bit, killing time.

It was nearing what was roughly half of my shift when my little bit of watch became a little bit more interesting. Okay, a lot more interesting because shit actually happened!

I was walking around the caravan, moving from east to west when I saw an approaching light. Just one; like a torch or something.

Instantly my mind kicked into ambush mode as I crouched and removed my M110 from my shoulder, and moved away from the campfire, deciding that the best method of bait was to draw them into the fire that they would be attracted to.

I slowly slunk into the shadows of the sparse bushes that were surrounding us, keeping as low to the ground as I watched the single light drew nearer and nearer until it slowly came to a halt just a short ways from the fire. Yet surely it moved towards the fire, though I could even see the cautiousness in the movements of whoever it was. They weren’t going to assume anything.

The being that appeared was a minotaur holding a torch, one that I didn’t recognise, which would have only been like three minotaurs, four at best. Either way I was prepared to ensure that this one wouldn’t leave this arid land. I slowly crept up on the minotaur as he hesitantly looked around our camp, a small pistol drawn. It seemed that minotaur hearing wasn’t as good as other beings as he didn’t hear me get within fifteen feet of him.

“Drop your weapon, keep your hands in the air, and slowly tell me who the fuck you are and why the fuck you’re standing in my camp,” I seethed out in a hushed tone, keeping my weapon trained on the fucker, not his head, but center back. I could easily put enough rounds into him to kill him if I wished so.

He complied, slowly, not even bothering to try and do something else. Even he knew he would be fucked if he moved. Eventually he got around to replying, though with an extremely shaky tone. “J-just a messenger for the A-Army. Please don’t k-kill me.”

Shit, from the sound of his voice, he was not even old enough to have a fucking beer. If what he was saying was true then there was no problem with that, but for all I knew he could be with the fucking Red Banner. So I was pretty blatant with my next question. “Which fucking army?”

“9th Legion out of A-Archon, sir,” he replied. Remembering the map, Archon was way to the fucking north so this bloke was fine. No doubt the legion was down there fighting so he’d be deployed down there was well.

“Fine, get the fuck out of our camp. Learn from this, boy, and don’t fucking snoop without back up,” I replied with a weary sigh.

“Y-yes sir,” he replied before picking up his weapon and running as fast as he could from our camp. I waited for his light to disappear in the distance before I came out of the bushes and walked back to the fire.

Fucking kids don’t know better than to stay the hell away from camps, especially at night. Hell, if it was Gilda or Trixie I don’t doubt something would have gone down. Or at the very least they would have woken me and shit would have been interesting.

Either way, I managed to calm down after a bit and finished my shift without a hitch. After waking up Iron Will and letting him get his bearings, I settled down next to the wagon, with my back against the wheel, which wasn’t the most comfortable but it would do for the night. I simply closed my eyes and tried my best to will myself to sleep, because I admit, I was pretty fucking wide awake.

So sitting there for some time was not fun, but eventually I managed to keep my eyes closed long enough to find myself in the same spot but without Iron Will or the others. That of course meant I was back in my little dream world. Or at least I thought it was mine.

“Welcome back,” I heard from above me. I looked up, and saw Luna leaning over the edge looking down at me with a grin. I wasn’t surprised in the least because honestly I expected it. She’s basically a goddess in this world so why wouldn’t she know exactly when I was going to sleep? Or perhaps she somehow managed to pull off some crazy magical reflex shtick and plucked me from mine before I even realised it. “Got kicked from your spot?”

“Yeah, brought up a recent memory for Gilda and Trixie and they weren’t thrilled,” I muttered as I stood up, before climbing up to the roof. She didn’t respond to me, instead opting to arch an eyebrow and look at me in a questioning manner, apparently expecting me to actually answer her. “No way am I recounting it, they’d find a way to know.”

“Aww,” she pouted, to which I just glared at her till the pout turned to a smirk as it usually did. Luna was getting a little bit predictable in that she was a jokester and generally laid back person. Used to deal a lot with such people so I knew how to handle them … no, not in that way you perv.

“So, whatcha want to talk about?” I asked, because despite the rather enjoyable times I spent with her in the past, there was always something she wanted to talk about.

“Nothing tonight, I just think you deserve to relax for once. Perhaps a walk around the dream realm?” she asked with a cocky grin. I admit I wasn’t expecting that at all, so I did look surprised. As surprised as I can with sunglasses covering my eyes. Yep, even in my dreams, that’s my default appearance.

“Not expecting that,” I muttered at first before truly responding, “sure, why the hell not! Lead on, moon horse!”

She just guffawed before igniting her horn and collapsing the dream around us, just leaving us standing in a rather blank space, save for one small detail … the two lines of fucking infinite doors!

Yeah, just doors as far as you could see, it was if she had a door fetish or something. Of course that thought didn’t just stay in my head. “So … door fetish?”

She simply rolled her eyes at me before actually clarifying, “it is easier to separate the dreams of all the ponies I must survey this way. The green doors are dreams that are pleasant in nature and require no attention. Grey doors are dreams that are neutral and are up to my discretion. Finally, Red pulsing doors are dreams that require my immediate attention.”

“And what are the requirements to earn a big pulsing red door?” I asked, a little more sarcastically than I wanted, but ehh.

“If the dream that they are a part of causes unnatural stress on their minds then I get alerted to it. I know the desire for privacy, Ryan, and I respect my ponies,” she stated with a flat tone, making it clear that whatever I was implying was false. She began walking down the infinite line, only offering doors a glance at most as she passed.

“Right, right,” I simply said before following her, not saying anything else. I wanted to change the subject but couldn’t think of anything at the time. Thankfully, she carried the conversation all on her own.

“About a year ago, the dreamscape used to be as chaotic as when Discord ruled. I would be hopping from one dream to the next at random, not even knowing which one I would end up in. After an incident that Twilight Sparkle and her friends helped me with, I have since decided that if I am to do my job properly, then I need to be as organized as possible,” she said with a sad tone, as if she missed the previously chaotic way of her dreamscape. That, or perhaps the incident was something pretty significant to her, I didn’t know nor did I ask.

So we kept walking, Luna having gone quiet as well, but at least the scenery had changed a little. The once black ocean of doors was slowly turning into an ocean blue type … ocean … of stars. Yeah, let’s go with that.

“This must be a rather peaceful place,” I pondered out loud, hoping to start a conversation.

“It’s been my sanctuary for as long as I’ve been able to dreamwalk. I use this place as a way to relieve stress and to contemplate on everything that has happened,” she said with a small smile to her face. Of course, me being me, which means a dick and or ker at times, I picked up on the one major thing she said.

“Stress relief, ehh?” I asked in that sexually implied tone that everyone knows. Even she knew! Of course, instead of verbally acknowledging that I had said anything, she decided to swat me over the head with her wing, which was pretty impressive, considering that I was trailing her slightly and am taller than her.

“It seems that no matter the species, you males always think with your genitals,” Luna stated with a small laugh.

“Not always, I’ve just been pent up when it comes to such jokes. The others don’t give me enough opportunities to ‘release’ them,” I snickered before dodging another swat, her keen or perhaps dirty mind picking up on my double entendres. Either way, we walked for a little bit more, though it was slower than usual because Luna would stop and stare at a door before continuing on.

She stopped in front of one of those big red pulsing doors and I thought we’d have a nice little incursion into some pony’s dream in order to sort things out, but my hopes and dreams were dashed all at once.

“It seems somepony needs my assistance. This will have to end our little excursion for the night,” she said before preparing to enter the door.

“Wait, just like that? All we’ve been doing is walking and we’ve barely talked! I was hoping to enter one of the dreams and lend a hand or something,” I protested but all I earned was a shake of her head before being given the absolute no.

“It is not your place to enter the dreams of others and help them. It is my duty and mine alone to guide in such ways. As for the talking part, you could have proposed a topic if you wanted to talk more,” Luna stated a little more seriously than she usually was. I guess the dream business was a big deal for her.

I raised a finger in an attempt to offer a rebuttal but I came up short as nothing came to mind to actually defend what I had said. She was right in every aspect; it wasn’t my place to help and I could have easily lead the conversation if I wanted to actually talk. Eventually I forfeited the point.

“Fine, I can’t argue with the logic of a deity,” I muttered. “How do I get back to my dream?”

“You don’t need to, you’re going to wake up shortly,” Luna said mystically before looking at my confused as fuck face. At least I think it was confused as fuck, no clue but it felt like it was. She laughed once more before clarifying. “In the dream realm, time is an illusion. What could feel like fifteen minutes to one, is three days to another. Only I know what time it is.”

Then she strode through the pulsing door that she opened and I was left standing in the middle of a star and door-filled hallway, probably looking like I’d just had my mind blown open. Eventually, I just rested my hands on my hips and sighed.

Then I woke up. Just like that.

Yep, it was that simple and planned, it seemed.

I looked ahead at the empty arid lands ahead of me before looking up at the half and half morning sky; the sky that still held grasp of some of the night but was slowly bringing in the morning, you know? With a few cracks of sore joints, I stood and stretched, much to my back’s protest. It was a new day and we were close to the front lines, so that meant we had to get going soon. I wanted a bullet in the first target within the week.

And fin.

…

Yeah, I know. Shitty place to end this portion huh? Well, I can see some of you drifting off because this little section turned out to be massive and filled with absolutely nothing. Don’t worry, the next one will be filled with a little more action, and if not action, then activity, depending on how quickly I go. First will come activity then will come action, I promise.

Would you believe that we’re getting close to the halfway point of the story? Well … that might be an exaggeration as honestly I could make this story go on for so much longer, detailing the events in more thorough detail than needed and perhaps I’ll throw in some make believe bullshit!

Haha, just joking about that last one. It’s not like you guys could tell anyway, though I can tell a good group of you have been doubting the legitimacy of my story. Well I’ll give you proof later, you’ll just have to endure.

So see you folks later, I need to sleep, all this talk of dreams has me more tired than I rightfully should be.

Author's Notes:

It's been a while, I know. There was a span where I just couldn't write.

Sorry once again for more or less a filler chapter ... for the most part. Next chapter I promise will contain action scenes! Though be warned I have no idea when I will release it, life is busy and I am a slacker when I do get free time so ... I will work on it as fast as possible.

Thank you as always to my editing crew of Doctor Candor, AuthorGenesis, PhiliChez, and Word Worthy! And we can't forget you awesome readers who stick around despite the long chapters and long intervals.

Here is the music for the title; Nightfall by Blind Guardian!