Hey Twi,

I got Spike to Pinkie promise he’d make you read this letter or, I dunno, read it to you himself if you’re still acting as stubborn as a mule. So I bet he’s probably reading it. Sorry, Spike, you could have skipped this bit.

Huh. So I’m actually writing a letter. Still don’t know how you managed to get me to do that. Actually, that’s wrong — I do know.

I’m angry, Twi. I’m furious with you. I would so much rather be shouting at you right now and telling you what a total and utter jerk you’ve been — you have no idea how much I’d rather be doing that. Saying all that trash and then pulling the whole vanishing act before I could even blink? How could you, Twi?

But I guess your stupid egghead ways are rubbing off on me, because I know shouting’s not gonna help. It would definitely make me feel better, but it won’t help. Like when we argued when you were trying to help me study — you remember that? You better, because I’ve been remembering it a heck of a lot these last few weeks. I’ve been remembering lots of things, and why should it just be me?

So I’m gonna give your way a go. I’m gonna write all these angry and sad thoughts down and hope that somehow I can get through that thick skull of yours. Because you know what? For someone so smart, you can be so stupid at times.

The problem is, there’s like a billion different things I wanna get out my head and say to you, and when I’m sat here with a pen in my mouth I can’t just blurt them all out at you and hope you make sense of them. I’m having to put them in some sort of order and think about what I’m gonna write. So not cool, Twi.

You gotta know that So, yeah, I

I wanna say that I feel

Stupid.

Stupid.

You’re so stupid.

You know what? I can’t do it. Trying to organise how you’re feeling at a time like this is stupid. It’s something only you would do, Twi. I’m angry, and I’m sad and I’m scared — these aren’t things I can just put into little neat words. How are you supposed to know how bad somepony’s feeling if it isn’t loud and messy and raw? Rarity called it pure, I think, but I prefer raw. It sounds more real.

So yeah, I’m just gonna do it my way, because you told me you loved me for who I am. And that’s the only pony I can be, Twi — and if it isn’t enough then it isn’t enough. You might be a princess now, but I’m still the most awesome pegasus in all of Equestria, and I deserve the very best too. You remember when we were playing Ticket to Ride: Equestria and you told me that winning isn’t worth it if you cheat? Yeah, that.

So what I do wanna say? Actually, I wanna ask you some things, and you tell me some things.

You ever just get the taste of strawberries in your mouth? Because I do. I was out kicking some clouds away from Sweet Apple Acres — you should have seen how hard I kicked — and suddenly I could taste them. I could taste strawberries, and feel the rain, and it was like I was back under that itchy picnic blanket of yours with you, trying not to get soaked. Only this time I wasn’t laughing. It felt like I couldn’t breathe, Twi. It felt as though somepony was stamping on my chest and I couldn’t breathe.

I want you to write back to me and tell me you can’t go to Stuck Needle’s record store on Saltlick Lane because you remember our awesome dance-off to bad pony pop, or board the 0848 to Brayton because the thought of feeling sand and salt against your wings is too much, too soon.

It’s always too soon, Twi.

I want you to tell me you don’t look up at that awesome never-ending sky, full of adventures you haven’t been on yet, and think of us flying side by side as we discover them. Or having nowhere to go, and no idea how to get there but heck, we’re gonna fly anyway. Because I feel you every time my hooves leave the ground. You’re my wings, and I can’t fly without them.

I just wanna know if you’ve smiled since you made your decision. I haven’t, and it doesn’t feel like I ever will again. But, I guess if you’ve smiled even just once, then that might be enough. I guess.

Huh, maybe there’s something to this writing thing after all.

I get it, you know. You think I don’t, but I do. You’re scared.

I’ve been trying to think how it must feel knowing you’re going to outlive someone you care about. I suppose it’s kinda similar to me and Tank (I mean probably, because who knows just how old the little hardhat is, right?) I know it’s not exactly the same, but it’s all I got to work with, Twi. I know it’s gonna be much worse for you.

So yeah, you’re scared of living the rest of your life without me, but guess what? You’re not the only one.

I’m scared of living the rest of my life without you. And I don’t get scared ever.

I’m scared I’m never again going to be able to waste a day dozing in a cloud with you.

I’m scared that I’ll never again hear that totally freaky purr you do when I bite your ear.

I’m scared that I’ll never again see that awesome and cocky smile when you’ve solved some tricky egghead riddle.

I’m scared that we’ll never argue about books again, or about what we’re gonna burn for dinner tonight, or who's going to pick the film.

I’m scared that my chest will never stop hurting.

You know, that’s a lot of scared’s for a pony who's not scared of anything, and when you write it down like that it’s the same thing, right? Surely it’s the same.

Once, you told me that I had rubbed off on you — that you were starting to take more risks in life. Well I’m asking you to take one more now. Face it, you’re gonna outlive me whatever you decide to do, Twi, but I’m asking you to share at least some of that life with me. I know that it might mean sadness for you down the line, but I guarantee you’ll have a tonne of awesome memories too.

I’m gonna stop here, before it starts to sound like I’m begging. Because Rainbow Dash does not beg.

Midday tomorrow I’ll be where we had our very first date. You won’t be able to miss me — I’ll be the one sitting at a table with a burnt hayburger. You remember that one, right? Best first date ever.

Come find me, and let’s go flying again.

I love you, Twi.

Dash.