My name is Lingus. Anna Lingus. And right now I’m hunting down a butthole in need.

Every day my horn becomes more and more sensitive to the silent screams of a sexy sphincter wanting to be loved. The frustration of last night’s dreams fueling my search, my legs pumping harder than they ever have. Just the thought that some pony’s ponut could be suffering from the crippling loneliness in this mad anal hating world is something I cannot stand.

Just imagine a world where you’ve never had your ass eaten. A world where your butt has never felt a loving lick, a kind kiss, or even a simple snout snuggle. The reality that so many are oppressed by such a cruel and terrible fate is almost too much for me some days. But I must not falter in my duty, if my actions save at least one pony’s anus, I know my life would have been a well lived one.

My horn was pulling me closer and closer to center of town; I could feel the lust, as faint as it was, whispering in my ear. “Find me”, it would say, “I need your tongue so bad. Oh Celestia I just want you eat me all day long. I want you to make me your fucking bitch.” It has been a while since an ass had so lewdly called out to me; demanding my presence with so much unbridled want. But something was off, as I got closer and closer to whoever this pony was the signal became increasingly distorted.

My pursuit had eventually led me to the marketplace. A common meeting grounds for ponies, so it wasn’t odd that I’d find somepony in need here; actually it was quite often that my horn would lead me here, but the difficulty has always been trying to localize it. I ran from stall to stall, trying to pinpoint exactly who this pony was, but then I saw her.

PONUT OF THE DAY: APPLEJACK

I spotted her stallionning her apple cart, her coat lightly covered in sweat. How much of that was from her early morning apple bucking, her being out in the warm summer sun, or her unspoken need to get her rectum reamed so roughly that her entire family could feel it was beyond my ability to tell. Normally whenever I found a ponut in need, and the pony it happens to be attached to is in such a crowded area, I would wait until they left into a slightly quieter locale before pouncing on their posteriors. But I knew Applejack would be standing there for quite a while, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to that massive, muscular, munchable rump of hers go hours without being worshipped as it truly deserves.

However something seemed wrong, her lust sounded different than before. It was definitely there, but it was far less lurid with its request. “Boy howdy ah sure wish some pony would come back here and eat mah hump like it was the juiciest apple in all of Appleloosa. Mah apple pie hasn’t been eaten since, gosh ah can’t even ‘member when was the last time that’s happen.” Her ass said in an accent that seemed vaguely racist. Regardless, it wouldn’t affect my plans: I would never turn down a puckering hole’s request, even if it couldn’t stop relating everything back to apples. Seriously her ass just kept going on about apples for like five minutes.

After checking if the coast was clear I began evoking my standard spells: I turned myself invisible, elongated and enlarged my tongue (last night’s dream inspiring me to increase its prehensility), and bathed Applejack in a calming aura in case she decided to try running away from my ministrations. I was just about to strike when that old, sexual voice popped up again. “Oh god just rut me with your tongue right now. I need you sooo fucking much. Baby just treat me like the filthy filly I am!” I stopped in my tracks, realizing exactly why the voice seemed so distorted before: there were two ponies who needed my attention. And it was most fortunate that pony number two just happened to be cantering up to Applejack’s stall.

SECOND PONUT OF THE DAY: RARITY

It appeared to me that there was direct correlation between needing your ass eaten and being an element of harmony. Was it a side effect of the elements? Did the elements choose the most anal loving ponies or did a true love of anal mean that they chose the elements? Does all of harmony emanate from the grandeur of our ponuts? More research would have to be done.

Yes the ponut is the reason for all good things in the world. It is responsible for sunshine, warm hugs and MLP: FiM being renewed for 10 more seasons. Reference: Me, PHD in Ponutology, Canterlot University.

But I knew I had to act quickly, lest Rarity leaves in to the crowd and who knows how long it would take before I could find her again. Now, for most ponies rimming two different mares at the same time would be next to impossible, but I am not like most ponies. My knowledge of magic has aided me in my quest to love all the butts of Equestria, and I remember a very specific tome that happened to be perfect in situations like this. It told the tale of a pony who was imbued with the spirit of a fox, and the wonderful adventures that he would go on. And then it was no longer about the wonderful adventures he would go on and be about really boring drama that just kept going on and on and with like a hundred filler chapters.

Though I stopped reading the tome half way through I had learned some very useful spells. Making the proper signs with my hooves and concentrating my horn, whispering the magical incantation under my breath “影分身の術”, I split myself into two. Firing off a few spells to silence any noises from me and bathing Rarity in the same calming aura, I snuck towards the pair.

As I crept towards their flanks I took a second to appreciate their soft silky tails. Applejack’s sweat streaked blondes rubbed itself all over my nose, lovingly clinging on to me. I couldn't help myself; I drew some of those fibers into my mouth, getting that pheromone filled taste of her on my tongue. Rarity’s tail on the other hand was filled with a sweet yet subtle scent. I couldn’t tell exactly what, but I didn’t care as my snout was caressed by her soft purple tresses. She flicked her tail this way and that, and each strand peppered my face with their sensual kisses. The compliment between the rustic taste of the farm pony and the modern perfumes of the fashionista send shivers down my spine.

However, I knew I should not distract myself with their tails, regardless of how they made me feel. I pushed aside their luscious locks and peered deep into their pretty little puckers. Their crevices and valleys, their mountains and ridges, told me everything I needed to know about them.

Applejack would be a simple affair, a thorough licking was all she needed; she was not a mare that longed for the frou-frou of a long romantic encounter. Though simple does not mean my creativity would be unnecessary, the simplest things in life almost always require the most amount of thought. Rarity on the other hand needed to feel dominated. She needed the release of pain, the freedom of filth, she so desperately wished to be unshackled by her social role and be seen as the disgusting pervert that she truly was.

I placed my hooves on Applejacks cheeks, slowly spreading them apart. On Rarity I placed tiny bites on her flank. They both turned around, looking to see what was going on, but seeing nothing they assumed it was in their heads. Waiting for both of them to return to their conversation I started pulling Applejacks cheeks even further. You know that pull you feel on your hole when somepony is forcing your cheeks apart? Well Applejack was becoming increasingly aware of that delicious feeling, and by the slight increase in the smell of musk her body was loving it. With Rarity I chose to keep nipping away at her rump, leaving soft marks of pain across her backside. I could hear Rarity’s voice become increasingly shaky, her breathing more ragged. I decided to take it one step further, I pulled as much of her soft flank into my mouth as I could, before biting down as I hard I could. Rarity gasped, and a light moan snuck its way past her lips, while her rhythmic squish started to become louder.

Once I knew I couldn’t pull Applejack apart any farther I dived straight in. I lapped at her crack like a mare possessed; I conjured a few magical mouths to pepper her ass with kisses and licked her rear like it was ice cream. Over at Rarity I grabbed her tail and yanked hard, forcing her butt right on to my face. I proceeded to nibble and bite at her ponut. Every time I hurt her I would immediately soothe the area with my tongue, trapping Rarity between amazing pain and amazing pleasure. Both mares were slowly breaking down; the façade they put on, pretending as if they weren’t absolutely loving this, crumbled away.

Their lusts resonated within me, I could feel Applejack slowly grind on my face, trying to speed up her orgasm. Rarity on the other hoof was still holding back; though the pain of my bites, the force of her tail being pulled and the ravishing caress of my licks drew her closer and closer to the edge, she still refused to breakdown and give in to the pleasure. Her lust was begging for me to help, demanding that I do what I must to free that inner slut we all knew was buried within.

That was when an idea sparked within my mind. I conjured up a magical flogger, one that I knew would make anypony scream. I pulled my snout from out of her, and I faintly heard what sounded like a frustrated whimper. I waited until it looked like she was just about to regain her composure when I swung the flogger straight at her right cheek. My silencing spell deadened the sound of the smack, but the shaking of her ass produced one hell of a noise, in addition to the lewd groan she made. I smacked her again, another moan. Again I struck, she moaned even louder. I switched cheeks with each strike and she let her inner slut through, panting and moaning as loud as she could. Applejack, considerably turned on by her friend’s display, starts grinding into my face even harder, trying to hasten her orgasm.

It was then I knew it was time to launch them both into climactic bliss. I penetrated both their ponuts with my tongues, plunging as deep as I could go. With Applejack I treated my tongue like a tentacle, it would undulate and twist within her. I would send lusty spells over and over through my slimy little muscle, flowing throughout her body. With Rarity however I treated my tongue like a thick fucking dick. I slammed myself into her, again and again and again. Each thrust deeper than the last, not even caring if what I was doing was even hurting her. A multitude of magical mouths nipped at her ass, yanking her tail and biting her cutie mark. Rarity started to spread her legs farther apart, dipped her head straight to the floor and completely arched her back.

“Fuck me!” She’d scream “Oh yes, Yes, YES! Treat me like a fucking whore!” She threw herself completely into her lust, not even caring who was looking. And quite a few people were openly staring. The entire marketplace and stopped to a standstill as every pony watched as the elements were moaning in complete and utter ecstasy. The pair started moaning in synch, I timed Applejack’s tonguing with Rarity’s thrusts. I could feel their lusts intertwine, sharing an erotic song that sang within my ears.

Both Applejack and Rarity knew that they were cumming in front of everypony. They knew that they would be the talk of the town for months, but they didn’t care. Applejack was too lost in the new and erotic feelings she was experiencing from her asshole, her mind completely trapped in a vortex of anal bliss. Rarity on the hand felt a masochistic love for what was happening to her. She felt more liberated and free than she has ever been. The realization that all the ponies who saw her every day, who treated her as a friend, who respected her, now knew what she truly was. Just the thought that every pony who stared at her from now on would be fully aware that she was a disgusting slut caused her to vocalize every emotion trapped within her. “I’m a fucking dirt whore! Fuck my ass harder! Harder! HARDER!”

It was then I could feel the two start to crest over, their pussies dripping marecum with every passing second. I could feel Apple and Rarity reach their peak simultaneously, and it was that moment I plunged as deep as I could into both of them. The two came loud and hard, spraying cum all over the dirty floor of the city square.

The orgasm hit the two hard, both collapsing straight on to the ground. The crowd around shocked and disgusted by the display. Smiling to myself at such an amazing job well done, I quickly placed my calling card on both the ponies: A bright blue lipstick mark on Applejack which would be easily seen on her coat, and a soft yellow one on Rarity I felt would complement the darkness of her ponut. Most ponies staring at the scene completely missed the two bright lip marks on their darkest holes, they were far more concerned of trying to come up with an explanation for what just happened to any children nearby.

I trotted away from the site, quickly reforming myself back into one pony. Once I got far enough away I made myself visible again. I bounced and twirled with how pleased I was, two ponies have been saved! Now Applejack and Rarity would truly appreciate the amazing high that only anal could bring. I stood still and breathed in their sweat and arousal that they coated me in. I knew I would eventually have to bathe, but for now I stood back and basked in the glow that only a ponut lover could ever feel.

Far away at Sweet Apple Acres Big Mac felt an odd but most enjoyable tingle deep within his ass.

Author's Notes:

A pretty good half goofy/half clop fic if I do say so myself. Bonus points to whoever figures out what tome I was talking about.