"Do you have any idea what's going on with Pinkie?"

Spike shakes his head. "How could I? I'm guessing it's really bad though. Why? You have any ideas?"

I shrug. "Maybe her secret coltfriend left her or something." I crack a smile. "Which reminds me: has Big Mac said anything about me?"

He chuckles. "He barely talks at all. I almost forgot you two were dating! But I know he's really into you. He smiles every time I talk about you."

I feel myself blush. I hate blushing. "And you? I'm gonna have to tell Big Mac you asked about him. I'd hate to let him down by having no reply from you, so spill."

I punch him lightly. "You know, it's kinda freaky how easily you can get me to talk about these things." I pause to scratch my neck. How do I feel about Big Mac? "Eh, he's cool. I do like him a lot."

"Wow, I should write that one down. So complex and inspiring; it could become a famous quote in the future." He resists the urge to laugh.

"Shut up." I grin, proceeding to stifle a laugh myself. We're approaching his castle now. "Hey, mind if I come over to the Castle of Friendship? I wanna hang, but I also wanna be there when Twi gets back."

"Sure."

He pushes the doors open. "So: who's Rarity dating right now?"

Spike rolls his eyes at me. "Do you always have to ask me that? You know how much I like her."

I shrug. "Never gonna happen, dude. I'm sorry, but it's not."

"I know," he grumbles. "Last I heard, she's going out with Time Turner."

"Oh yeah. I remember Muffins telling me she and him broke up." I grimace. "Poor gal.”

We're in the throne room now. While my throne and Spike's throne are conveniently next to each other, Twilight's is closer so I sit on hers. "Are there any guy secrets that I need to know? I wanna plan a date for me and Big Mac. Y'know: a not awkward one."

"Not really. You're into stallion’s stuff anyway. You're sure to come up with something he likes."

"Woah, careful there, Spike. You don't wanna help me too much." I sink a bit further into Twilight's throne. "Ugh, this is so frustrating!"

"I thought you said you'd dated before?" Spike arches a cocky eyebrow at me.

"Yeah: mares! It's so much easier to tell what they like! I understand them better! They understand me better!"

"Ugh, tell me about it." He folds his arms. "I've tried flirting with fillies besides Rarity, and it just doesn't work." He laughs. "Turns out they don't all want chocolate and flowers."

"Yeah, no offense, but I’m guessing that's just because you're a dragon."

Spike seemed unimpressed. "Yeah, no offense, but saying no offense doesn't excuse racism."

"I'm not being racist! They're the ones being racist!"

He puts his claw to his forehead in an exasperated manner. "It's still offensive!"

I roll my eyes. I start to think of a comeback, but then I hear the doors downstairs open. "Twilight?" I call out and, sure enough, moments later she comes trotting up the steps. She looks kinda surprised to see us both.

"Hey Rainbow, hey Spike," she breathes as she makes her way over to where I'm sitting in a weird sort of way. It's kinda limping, but it also looks like she's trying so hard not to be seen that she's tensing up –

"Hey!" I laugh as Twilight levitates me out of her throne ― oh, right, it's hers. She carelessly drops me midair, which makes me wonder what's going through her brain. She's gotta be distracted; she's trying so hard to pretend that she's the perfect embodiment of friendship nowadays. I kinda miss her being clumsy and awkward.

"Hey, what's up?" I raise an eyebrow at her, and then she blinks as if she's only just woken up.

"S-sorry, what?" She rubs her eyes. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Spike says, getting up to be closer to his sisterly figure. Twilight massages her forehead, then sits forward, smiling, but ending up grimacing..

"Pinkie's depressed."

Silence.

"Oh," is all I can say.

She runs a hoof through her disheveled mane. "Yeah."

All of a sudden, it hits Spike with full force. "Oh Celestia, is she alright?" He sounds...scared, almost.

"Yep." She sounds kinda dismal too. "I just took her to the hospital."

That's the thing that makes it finally break through. Shit, shit, shit!

"She'll be back in a half hour or so. I'm gonna pick her up."

I'm sweating now. Cold sweat. My mane's sticking to the back of my neck. It sort of feels like I'm having a panic attack. Maybe I am having a panic attack. Everything's so surreal now: how can Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie, be depressed?!

Twilight blows out some air through her near-sealed lips. "In the meantime, Spike, can you go and get me every single book on depression and psychology that we own, please?"

Spike salutes in an attempt to lighten the mood, then runs out the room. He's shaking. I know he's shaking. I know what a shaky run looks like, and that's the sort of run he's running right now.

I make a split-second decision to hug Twilight. Celestia, I feel childish. Hugs are the sort of things that lull you into a false sense of security when you most need it. Now is definitely one of those times. I need it, and I'm pretty sure Twilight needs it too.

I think I'm hugging too tight. I think I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna ― I'm crying. I'm crying. I bury my muzzle into Twilight's shoulder, and I can feel her doing the same, only her cheeks aren't wet ― how the hell is she holding up so well?! This is Twilight, for Celestia's sake!
I can hear the squeaking of wheels, and I turn round to see Spike running in, pushing some sort of handtruck book-carrier that is stacked to the maximum with fat, leather-bound parchment.

I dive into the book on top, before Twilight can even ignite her horn. I don't care if it's boring. Part of me needs to know.

Twilight has that Haycarte's method thing she keeps blabbing on about, so of course she devours twice as much as me and Spike in half the time, but I feel like I'm getting somewhere so it doesn't matter.

There's an edge of boredom in my brain, but I ignore it. So, you get depressed when you have a lack of this, this, this chemical in your brain, called, um...crap. I turn back a page. Serotonin, yeah, that's right. It's a...neurotransmitter, and when it passes from one brain cell to another, it, it gets sucked back to –

I blink. Why the hell am I learning the science of how you get depressed? Who cares about the science of it? The reason Pinkie's depressed is because something is making her feel bad about herself, right? Really bad!

She doesn't need to know the freaking science of it. She needs to have that something fixed, or to have bigger, better things that outweigh it. And, all of a sudden, I am struck with an awesome idea. I don't even know how or why it came to me, but it's great nonetheless.

I announce it to Spike and Twilight, who both agree with me on its amazingness, and then I soar out of the room, down the crystal steps, out the doors and navigate myself towards Carousel Boutique.

Rarity is surprised to see me, needless to say. I never visit her.

"What can I do for you, darling?" she says as I trot past her standing in the doorway.

"Pinkie's depressed," I state clearly, opting to get it out the right away.

Her brow creases. "Oh, the poor dear."

"Yeah." I look down. "So anyway: I was wondering if maybe you could do something for her."

"Like...?" she prompts.

"Like..." I search for the words. "Something artsy, or fashion-y. Y'know how much she loves it when you get a hooficure, and she absolutely adores all the dresses you make for her. I was thinking that maybe...because she kinda has straight hair now and her coat is a lot darker, maybe you could...I dunno...give her a makeover or something."

She thinks about it. I reckon she's already got an answer, but she's just trying to process the situation as well. "That's a great idea, darling!"

"It is?"

"Of course!"

Phew! Seriously, with the amount of times that I've been humiliating myself in front of my friends lately, it's a miracle that I'm not the one with depression.

Author's Notes:

Yep, Rainbow is gonna be That Character in this story. I'm sorry.