Do you ever get the feeling that you keep going backwards? Like you have a goal and you take a step towards it but then you end up taking two steps back? Well, that’s the exact feeling I have right now. I'm not even mad, or worried. No, I'm annoyed. Why you ask? Well, let me catch you up. I've been captured by a ghoul slaver and I am tied up as we ride through the radioactive swamp back to a town of slavers, who were pissed off at me.

But on the bright side, I did manage to save a bunch of fillies and colts from a psycho butcher. Plus despite being knocked out, I had no headache, not even a self-given one. I had tried to sleep, even going as far as to request a pillow from the grumpy ghoul driving the wagon the four of us were in. But I was ignored by the grumpy, nameless ghoul, and the second slaver warned me not to chat so much. But he didn't do it in a stereotypical slaver bossing slave around way, he was actually kind.

One thing led to another and we actually started chatting. He was a brown and white coated stallion by the name of Store Stock, apparently he was forced to go into the slave trade when his shop went out of business. Apparently, he used to own a general store in a town called Iron Gem. But due to low sales and high taxes, he was forced to sell his shop and pursue a much more profitable line of work.

I may not have been a slave for very long or known any slavers, but even I could tell he was totally new to the thing. He seemed far too caring, even treating my head wound to the grumpy ghoul's disapproving scoff. Apparently, greenhorn slaver over here was on his very first job. I sat back and politely listened to Store Stock's life story.

"A...and that's how I got into this job." He didn't seem to be very charismatic, stuttering and mumbling some of his words.

"You're not very confident."

He just seemed to stutter and mumble before nodding in acceptance. "Yeah you’re right." He bowed his head in defeat.

"Cheer up, I usually do the same thing. I've been overthinking things and it's been driving me crazy. It almost got me killed crossing these damned swamps." I shivered, rattling the chains, at the thought of those ghouls.

"B... But you seem so confident and relaxed despite the fact that you're our slave?"

"Normally in this free time, I would be thinking up something that would worry me and such. But nothing is right now, well maybe that guy?" I tilted my head to the statue like pony in a set of cloaked leather and a full faced red pony helmet. I could only assume that there was a pony under all that.

"Oh him, yeah, he's the security. He seems to talk less than the boss?" Stock seemed to flinch when the helmet turned a little to look at him. "N...n...not that there's anything wrong with that!"

I chuckled lightly, to the visible annoyance of the grumpy ghoul. "Hehe, so Stock? What's grumpy ghoul's name?"

A kick to the back of the head. I groaned as I fell face first into Stock's crotch. Needless to say, we quickly moved out of such an awkward position and chose to ignore that, both blushing.

My head didn't really hurt that bad. It felt fine actually, or I felt fine with it anyway. Hmm, I was starting to suspect that I might have been drugged. I'm not usually this chillaxed out in the waste. Although at home I usually was, not as social though. "Did you drug me?"

Stock seemed to search for the words to say before just nodding. "Yes, we just gave you a little 'Happy.' But it should wear off soon."

Happy? What a nice name for a drug. "So, what does Happy do?"

He finally spoke again. Grumpy Ghoul's voice was just as I remembered, rusty and raspy. "It's supposed to make you shut up and behave, not chat more!"

I liked it, it felt good, I couldn't help but giggle and smile to the annoyance of Grumpy Ghoul. I heard him groan and take his focus back to driving the brahmin pulled wagon. Stock had pulled a box between us and put out a set of three dice. "Why don't we play a game, you ever heard of Three Dice?"

I bit my lip and pondered his question before shaking my head. "No I have not my good sir, please do explain."

He seemed very pleased, smiling widely as he pulled out a little book and cleared his throat. "Three dice is a game where you have three dice obviously." He poured them onto the makeshift table to let me see them.

"The aim is to get close to ten, vs the dealer." He gestured to himself. "Ones and fours are red and can choose between values. Same number on all three dice is an auto win. Three reds when it's all ones is called ‘Red Eyes’ and is double pay or loss, depending who got them. All fours are called ‘Red Spider’ this is fifty percent plus winnings or loose. Also, you can't switch reds to get a full set, so if you get two fours and a one, you can’t switch the one to get a ‘Red Spider’. It's kinda like blackjack but with three dice instead of cards."

Now after a moment or two of pan facing and thinking it over I finally got it and nodded. With that, our epic game of Three Dice began. We offered the helmeted pony a chance to play with us but he seemed to turn it down by not replying. Despite being simple, Three Dice turned out to be pretty fun. I found it was best to aim low while Stock kept over shooting it.

We chatted as we played. "So Star, why don't you seem worried? I mean you’re a slave now?"

I chuckled and smiled back at him. "Because my sister is going to save me."

"You have a sister?" Stock seemed a little surprised.

Another win for me. "Yeah she's my little sister, but she acts more like a big sister. She can be uptight, but deep down I know she cares."

"So how's she going to save you? Is she going to buy you? Pegasi aren't cheap."

I wiggled a little, forgetting that I had my jacket on. "She already bought me a few days ago. I’m embarrassed by the story, but she's probably going to catch up with us and..." I shrugged as I left it there.

Stock seemed to get visibly worried. "What?! But I... What did you even do to piss off Slave Town so much?"

I laughed a little, yet again to Grumpy Ghoul’s annoyed expression. "Hehe…I killed… and killed some more." My face grew a sinister expression.

You could cut the tension with a knife as the sound went quiet, only the sound of the brahmin marching on and the wheels creaking as they turned was heard. But that became boring fast, so I spoke. "So Stock? You don't seem to have a misplaced hate for me because of my wings? Why?"

He scratched his scruffy dirty blond mane as he pondered the question, his blue eyes avoiding mine. "Ah. Well, what's the point? Besides, you don't seem like an Enclave Pegasus. Maybe a stable pony?"

"Oh, my dad was from a stable. Maybe you heard of him, he was in a group called 'The Immortals'?" The wagon suddenly came to a sudden halt as our table fell over, dice and me falling on the wooden floor of the wagon.

"Something I said?" I looked up to see Grumpy Ghoul was turned around looking at me. Even upside down and in the light of the sky, he was still ugly. He glared at me, not knowing if I was serious or not. I looked to the others who just looked on in confusion. Even Helmet Head was looking at us. I wonder what he or she looked like? Maybe they had an eye patch or a nose ring.

I stared at Helmet Head. "Can I see your face?" A soft kick to the head from Grumpy Ghoul quickly brought back my attention. "Oowh, what?"

"That jacket, where'd you get it?" He seemed to ask, as he stared at it with intent.

"My dad gave it to me."

Stock muttered again before working up the nerve to talk. "Umm… who were The Immortals, boss?"

The ghoul rubbed what was left of his chin before speaking. "A while ago there was a group of four, they called themselves The Immortals. They were a famous group during the war of thirty-two. They would do crazy things and not just survive but thrive, they became legends. They were said to only have four members but those four were big shots, one of them is the current leader of Blood Skull."

I pushed against my restraints as the thought of Blood Rose made me angry. I scowled at nothing in anger. But I was being ignored for a story, so no one noticed. "What about the others?" asked Stock.

"Little is known about them. I never had the fortune or misfortune of bumping into them. But it's said one wore a doctor's coat with a big red X mark on it and another wore a blue snow jacket that could repair itself." His attention turned to me with great interest, I got a bad feeling from him.

He loosened my chains and I tried to bolt away but a hoof pinned my wing as he used his size advantage over me. I really wasn't that big. I struggled and kicked before landing a blow on his back leg. I heard him wince in pain before whacking me over the head with something, probably his slave beating club. I laid there breathing, seeing my jacket in the mouth of the ghoul.

Apparently, slaver ghouls don't like it when you resist. So as punishment he bound me in barbed wire he had happened to have with him. He also gagged me with a ball and some rope. But none of that mattered. I didn't even care that the wire's barbs were stabbing and cutting into me as I squirmed and groaned loudly. Because that grumpy slaver ghoul had my jacket. I wanted it back and really wasn't okay with him touching it. I couldn't help but start to get worried that he might try to damage it. I guess that meant the Happy wore off.

I death stared at the ghoul as he trotted to the back of the wagon and threw my jacket on the muddy ground behind us. He turned back to look at me with a smug look on his rotten face, his blue eyes looking me over. I looked over the ghoul's body, as I had not done so before. He was a rotten earth pony ghoul with an unknown coat, maybe green, almost no mane hair left at all, only a few strains of blue left.

He was wearing a battle saddle. I never used them. I always shot how dad taught me, with a stance on my hind legs and my forehooves to hold and aim my rifle, or a prone form. But I knew about battle saddles, earth ponies used them to hold their weapons, the Lily Sisters had used them. On the side of his battle saddle was a rusted old hunting rifle that I was sure was older than him and never seen any care, ever.

I thrashed and screamed as I saw him take aim at my jacket. Stock was off to the side looking away and Helmet Head was watching me squirm. I could feel the barb wire dig deeper into me, as it easily drew blood, but I didn't care. I wanted my jacket back and I wanted to beat the crap out of this ghoul.

I had squirmed over to look at my jacket. It had received three noticeable holes in it. But as I knew and the ghoul had hoped, it started to repair itself. Even though I knew it would, it still really pissed me off that he had my jacket and shot it.

"Interesting, you just became much more valuable. I~" "AGHH~!" The ghoul screamed as I brushed the barbed wire against his leg, I couldn't help looking smug as he kicked me across the wagon, barely missing Stock.

"S…Stop, he's losing a lot of blood, you'll kill him!" Stock stood between me and the pissed off ghoul as I just laughed at him, this just seemed to piss him off even more.

He scoffed at me and proceeded to pick up my jacket out of the mud and throw it on the wagon floor before walking over it, towards me. Stock moved out of his way in fear and respect. We stared each other down before he undid my mouth gag. I smiled at him before spitting on his decayed face. He replied with a swift hoof to my cheek.

"Listen to me, Pegasus piece of shit, you're going to give me some answers and I'll decide if you’re either worth all this trouble or not." His raspy voice clearly protracted the fact that I had managed to annoy him. "Your father, is he alive?"

My smile dipped a little and he clearly took notice of my answer. "Shame, but we can still sell you for more now."

"Your fu~" 'Whack.' Another hoof to my brushed cheek, I tasted blood and spat some to the side.

"You speak when spoken to, slave."

"I'm not your~" 'Whack.' I fell onto my side as I was punched yet again, I could see Stock nervously approach but I shot him a look to back off.

The ghoul set me up right again and continued to speak. "You're going to shut up and behave. Now you may speak."

I chuckled a little, I didn't know why but I felt happy. "I'm going to break free, then I'm going to achieve my goal."

"And what goal is that?"

I felt my smile grow, unnerving the seasoned slavers before I spoke. "I'm going to destroy this world."

That seemed to surprise everyone, as they all just looked at me with disbelief and shock. I couldn't help laughing a little. I know the drug they gave me must have passed, but damn it felt good to not overthink things. Morality, morals, that's what I was so concerned about. Morals in the waste? It's laughable.

The ghoul cracked his hooves as he looked down at me. "You're crazy, too high-spirited. I guess I'll have to fix that." He proceeded to place the gag in my mouth as I smiled at him, looking forward to it. "You got to break a few eggs to make a cake."

Those words, that catchphrase. I couldn't help but laugh as he proceeded to pummel my face with his hooves. The blue strands of hair and what I assumed was a dark green coat. His cold eyes, they were the same as that ancient filly drawing. Oh the irony, the humor... the wasteland, who said it couldn't be funny. After a few minutes of having my face beaten into a bloated and bruised mess, he finally stopped.

But I wasn't done, I was still laughing, smiling. I couldn't stop staring at him, which just pissed him off even more. It even caused strange looks from Stock. I had said a while back that I was afraid I was going crazy, that I was afraid I was becoming a kill happy raider. But looking back on it, I think that was wrong. This world that I was thrust into was crazy and I was just along for the ride.

After another few minutes of driving and me laughing, the ghoul stopped the wagon again, clearly having enough of it. "What's so damn funny?!" The ghoul yelled as he lurched over me and removed my mouth gag.

I breathed and laughed a little before calming down enough to talk. "Hehe. Ah...Your name...Silent." His hoof came swinging so hard that I flew through the cloth cover of the wagon and fell into the mud.

"How the hell did you know that!" The ghoul demanded as Stock and the helmet head fella watched on in awe.

I wiggled up and rotated my jaw before feeling something rattle around on my mouth. I spat it out, what do you know, my tooth. Despite the pain, I still couldn't help but chuckle a little. The ghoul jumped out of the wagon and bit my tail and proceeded to drag me to the back of the wagon in full view of the others.

"I asked you a question! I never told anyone that name! So how do you know it?!" I tried to sit up but he bucked me back down.

I coughed a little blood before smiling at him. "Silent Times, Pink Pop and~"

The ghoul's rifle barrel had smoke pouring out of the end of it, a fresh bullet casing fell down into the mud. I could see him biting down on his battle saddle mouth trigger. Stock looked on in horror as I slowly looked up to the ghouls face. He was on the verge of tears, fury filling his eyes. I slowly looked down at my chest, past the barbed wire and lines of blood they had created.

My coat might have been dirty but it was still snow white in most areas. The lines of blood elegantly and boldly showing over the white like blood on snow. But between the lines of crimson was a hole, a hole that grew a crimson patch. I had been shot. This was the first time I had ever been shot, I've been cut and even stabbed, by accident, but never shot. The closest I came to being shot would have to be the shrapnel I was hit with when I was trying to save Sharp.

The pain hit me a few seconds afterward. It was sharp and hot, seeming to come in pulses as I felt sick to my stomach. I screamed loudly as I fell forward onto my face, my eyes watering up. Unlike the barbed wire wounds, the blood actually felt hot. I squirmed and thrashed as I instinctively wanted to apply pressure to the wound. But I was still bound in barbed wire so I couldn't do anything. I slowly looked up at the ghoul, my face begging for help. But I stopped when I saw his cold uncaring face.

He wasn't going to help me, I provoked him and I was being punished. I held back the tears and tried to sit up slowly, trying to overcome the pain. That’s when it started to happen, the pain turned into pleasure. It was a pleasure that felt taboo, forbidden but I couldn't help but indulge in it. I started smiling again, then laughing, then chuckling.

Silent Times took a step back as he was confused and scared. Stock looked the most afraid, but the helmeted pony just seemed to watch on. That was until he jumped down off the wagon next to Silent Times.

"What are you doing?" With a swift motion of his hoof, out came a blade attached to the end of it. Everyone looked at the blade in the air, it seemed to have an energetic red glow to it as if it was coated with a thin layer of magic.

I felt my barbed wire restraints loosen and looked down to see them cleanly cut, the cut ends seemed to glow red as I could feel their heat. I quickly spread my wings and threw the restraints off. Blood coated my body and wings. I slowly stood up, the bullet wound hurting and dripping blood.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Silent Times rasped, turning to face the red helmeted pony. But in another swift motion, he seemed to cut the ghouls old hunting rifle in half, before pulling out a hunting rifle of his own.

No wait, that wasn't a hunting rifle. It was a sniper rifle, a .308 bolt action military green plastic framed long scoped clean steel sniper rifle. I don't care how badly hurt I am, I will always gawk at amazing guns and no gun had ever looked so new or well kept. I could even see a sheen on the barrel from a fresh oiling. No scratches were visible on the stock or barrel, it looked brand new. It was held up in a red magical glow, not unlike Sharp's own magic. But the problem was it was pointed at me, I guess Helmet Head is a unicorn then.

The helmet pony only said one word. "Fight." Although his voice was distorted and robotic, it still was heard clearly by everyone around.

"What do you mean fight?!" yelled the ghoul in his increasingly loud raspy voice.

I, on the other hoof, knew exactly what was going on. I took up a battle stance on my hind legs with my wings out. I ignored my wounds as I even felt the bullet inside me as I got in position. The ghoul sighed and took off his battle saddle and club and tossed them to the side.

"I'm going to beat answers out of you Pegasus, like how you knew those names."

I simply smiled at him as I knew this was going to be fun. We charged at each other and started battling, I was more agile than him and he was more powerful than I, being an earth pony and all. I punched his ribs as he missed a blow to my head. Despite being almost like a rotten corpse, he was still pretty tough. We traded blows as Stock and Helmet Head watched us without saying a word.

Soon it became a dance almost, as we kept fighting. In between blows we even found time to talk as we focused on each other. "You fight like a zebra!"

I chuckled a little before blocking a buck from him. "Agh, is that a compliment?"

I swept low and went to kick his hooves out from under him when he jumped back before charging at me again. "What motivates you? Why? Why do you fight?"

His question caught me off guard for a moment and he was able to kick me to the side. I quickly dug my hooves into the slopes of dirt and mud to stop myself from falling into the radioactive water. I jumped back onto the road and grinned at him. "A few days ago I was fighting a ghoul on this very road and I nearly died. But it felt so good, it was exhilarating. I felt alive."

We went back to clashing hooves, but I was getting tired and he was showing no signs of fatigue. I was forced into blocking more than dodging. "Do you know how I managed to stay sane all this time?"

I was being pushed back but I wasn't giving up. "No."

"I have an anchor, a virtue. I've seen your type before, you have no focus, you’re a wild card. You'll drive yourself mad and turn into just another raider because that's what this world does." I saw an opening and went for an uppercut. We froze on the spot, I punched his head upward as hard as I could and it was barely tilted up, he just looked down at me. I wasn't even hurting him, he was just toying with me.

"The radiation from the swamps strengthens me, allows me to heal faster. You lost this fight before it even began. Now tell me how do you know those names." He was calm, uninjured and angry.

My smile wavered as I felt how hopeless my situation was. "I…I found a drawing… from Last Meal."

I let my guard down, when I saw him it was too late. He pounced atop me and proceeded to yell and beat down on my face hard. I had infuriated him, he was killing me. I was going to die, but I didn't want to die.

The void, nothingness, limbo. I was floating in it, I felt no pain, no pleasure, nothing. Was I dead? I decided to curl up into a ball and started crying as I felt a great sorrow overcome me.

"Do you want to die here?" It was Dark Star.

I looked around for him but couldn't see him. "No!" I screamed out into the darkness.

I looked up to see my tears float up and form a mirror, reflecting me, except it wasn't me. It was Dark Star. "Then get up and keep your promise to Candy!"

My eyes were closed and I felt my head was in water, so I did as I was told and rose my head out of the water and took a breath. "I'd promised no more tears, yet I feel I need to elaborate, what I meant was no more being a crybaby." I said in a serious manner, no longer smiling.

The ghoul was standing on the road as he looked down on me in surprise and bafflement. "I'd promised to make them never forget the pain they caused me, yet I'd only been out here for less than a week."

I spread my wings and flew swiftly back up onto the road. "I couldn't even imagine what pain one would go through if you lived for centuries."

He charged at me and went to headbutt me but I dodged to the side and tripped him up, making him skid across the ground. "Before I was afraid I took pleasure from killing, but no, I actually hate it, because it ends the fight."

He got up and shook it off before charging at me again. "I love the thrill of the fight and the chance to feel alive through its pain." I dodged effortlessly to the side and snapped my wing out into his throat.

I moved to his side as he gasped for air, coughing. "I promised they'll remember the pain they've caused, not just to me but to others as well." I then gave him a right hoof to the face that sent him stumbling to the slope.

He growled and tried to buck me, and I let him. I slid back on my rear hooves and used my wings as air brakes. "I'll draw strength from that pain." Breathing in, embracing the pain in my body as pleasure.

"Yes, pain. This is why I fight, this is my nature." A smile began to grow on my face yet again, to the horror of Silent Times. "My virtue."

"What are you?!" The old ghoul yelled.

I just chuckled and swooped down at him. "I'll channel that pain beyond rage, into power."

I tackled him over the slope and into the swamp. "I'll bathe in the pleasure of the pain during the fight." We both proceeded to get up.

"Where pain and power are exchanged between enemies." We proceeded to punch each other, with no attempt made to dodge or block as we traded blows.

I was growing tired and started panting a little. "For this pain lets me know I'm truly alive."

"So let me share with you the adrenaline of the fight and the pain of being alive." We charged at each other one last time.

He went to stomp down on me and I dodged, before wrapping a hoof around his neck and using my momentum to flip him on his back, over my shoulder. "I'll take all the world's pain and use that power."

"Wait!" He screamed as he realized what was going to happen.

"To destroy this world!" With my hooves locking his head over my shoulder I gave a hard heave and used his body weight to snap his neck.

I dropped his lifeless body into the mud and water. His head fell into a puddle and I stared down into his lifeless face. I could see my reflection in the water. My face was bloodied and bruised, but that’s not what caught my attention. No, it were my eyes. They had an ever so light purple tint over them. I blinked and thought I saw Dark’s smiling face for a second. I limped back up the slope, not wanting to get any more irradiated.

I began to slowly trot toward the wagon, toward a scared Stock and an unchanged Helmet Head. When I stumbled and almost fell over, my body’s sense of pain was back and, fuck Cadence with a dragon's horn, did it hurt. Besides the pain, I felt the nauseating sensation of radiation in my body and a bullet in my gut. I looked to Helmet Head and Stock for help.

Suddenly a bright red ball of energy flew past me and hit Helmet Head in the chest, knocking him over. I knew it had to be Sharp, and I knew she'd probably shoot Stock next. So I tried to yell to the stunned Stock to get down, but it was too late. A second red energy ball flew over me and hit him square in the head. I saw his surprised face as he began to glow with the crimson energy.

"Don't overthink." Those were his last words, to me. He turned into a pile of glowing ash before me.

I crawled up past Helmet Head and pulled myself up the wagon to Stock's ash pile. But a gust of wind blew it away before I could do or say anything. I slumped there in the wagon feeling terrible both physically and emotionally. Store Stock was a good pony and good ponies shouldn't die. I looked at where he was and saw it, a pack of orange anti-radiation juice, RadAway.

I decided to pick it up and sit up slowly before pressing it to my lips and flicking my head up to drink when suddenly the packet exploded and RadAway went all over my face. I tilted my head to see Sharp blowing on the smoking hot focusing lens gem of her Magic musket rifle as she had just, apparently, shot my RadAway. I glared at her with my now orange face as she eventually trotted up to us.

"Why did you shoot my RadAway?!" I yelled at her as she came closer and checked up on Helmet Head’s corpse.

"Good to see you too, Star."

I groaned and held my stomach and smiled at her. "Good to see you too Sharp."

Sharp put her rifle to her side and came to my aid. "What happened?"

"Agh, the town sold me to slavers because I was a Pegasus and such." I slowly moved my hooves away to let her see my gun wound.

"I know that they were really ashamed after I returned with the children and explained what had happened. They even paid extra." She pulled out some items from her saddlebags as she instructed me to lay down, which I did.

I considered telling her about the slavers and the drawing but decided against it, that and I didn't want her to know she shot a good pony. "So what's the debt at now?"

"Hehe, still a lot." She started cleaning the wound as I tried to remain still and not wince. "Weren't you worried when they sold you?"

"Hmm, A little, but I knew you'd come and rescue me," I said smiling at her.

"I'm your sister, I'll always look out for you," she said smiling back at me as she floated some tweezers into view. "I need to get the bullet out."

I was about to reply when we heard the sound of shifting dirt. We looked out the back of the wagon to see Helmet Head standing up. Sharp dove for her rifle but the red helmeted unicorn pulled it away with their own magic. I looked at the pony’s gun wound. It appeared to be stopped by a crimson metallic armor that was under a now destroyed metal scrap chest piece. Sharp and I stared at him as he stood there.

"What are you doing?" I asked, a little nervous after seeing his skills.

"Leaving." That's all he said before trotting off towards Slave Town.

Sharp and I just looked at each other and shrugged it off, before Sharp went back to my wounds. Digging around in a box we found a single Med-X which was very welcome and some Happy. But before I could take the Happy, Sharp pulled it away from me, giving me a lecture about how it's highly addictive. So any hoof, after the Med-X had kicked in, Sharp began surgery. Luckily the bullet wasn't very deep, I still bit down on some wood to stop myself from screaming. Afterward, I was exhausted and fell asleep in the wagon, but not before Sharp checked Silent Times’ corpse and found an envelope marked with the number six.

I awoke to find myself bandaged up and covered in my jacket. My wounds ached but I was feeling much better. I groaned and sat up slowly, looking around. We were out of the swamp and along a road somewhere cool, still snow as far as the eye could see.

"Hey Sharp, where are we?"

"We just passed Rad-Hoof. Fifty minutes ago." I looked over Sharp to see the Brahmin replying to my question.

When I first heard a brahmin talk it freaked me out, but in time you get used to these things. I actually felt kind of bad, being reminded of the butcher again. "Thanks..." I said, trying to hide my discomfort.

"You need to make up your mind. I saw you out there, your power. Your indecision and self-doubt are holding you back. That I saw during your fight with the glowing ghoul a few days ago." Sharp didn't even look at me as she spoke. I could tell this was on her mind for a while, but given the past few days, we were unable to talk about it.

"You're afraid of your power, you have every right to be. But out here power is key, the power to survive, to change the world. If you can't accept your power then you should head home." She carried on, I felt it best not to interrupt. "This world corrupts everything. But so does power, if you let it. If you want to do something about this world then you can't hold back."

I slumped down next to her. "Does this power make me a monster?"

She gave me a light smile. "No. Actions do. You're scared, of what you can do and how it's changed you, how this world is changing you. But I'll let you in on a secret you already know. You need an anchor, a virtue to help and protect you, and a mask to hide what you're too scared to show others. But be warned, choose carefully because masks can rub off on you. Fake it till you make it."

I thought back to my old life, to mom, to when she had us smile to reassure others that we were ok and not to worry. I wonder if that could be my virtue? Before I declared it was pain and maybe that's true. But I needed a virtue for my mask, a virtue people can know about. Smiling? Maybe, maybe not. But it could be my mask.

"Ok, I'll do it. I'll try to find my anchor and I'll try to stop overthinking things," I said, giving her a reassuring smile. From now on I'll try to be more relaxed and charismatic, or at least fake it. Ok, maybe it was the Med-X talking a little.

An uncomfortable question entered my mind. "Hey sis, do you wear a mask?"

She seemed to stop for a moment, before looking back at me with a smile. "What do you think?" Her tone played on the edge of sarcasm, but it wasn't really an answer. This lead me to wonder what was Sharp's core, or if she was even wearing a mask.

Now that I thought back to it, I didn't really know my sister. She was usually out hunting or in the real world outside Frost Crystal. When she was home she always seemed reclusive and distant, like she could see the cage around us.

Sharp was always smart, deceptive and cunning. She knew how to get things and manipulate others. I went to town with her one day and not only did Frost Crystal's resident cheapskate salespony give her a discount but he also didn't even try to argue with her.

Besides being the most charismatic pony I knew, when she was cool-headed, she also lived up to her name. She was very perceptive, able to seemingly sense danger. But what I knew about her above all was that she always had a plan. Not just a short time plan but long term as well, as evidenced by her saving her caps.

I knew her qualities and that she loved me but I didn't really know her as a pony. I didn't know her goals, what she liked or didn't like. I didn't even know why she was so intent on killing Blood Rose. Revenge seemed too petty for her. Sure he was the reason our parents were killed, but she was fairly independent, so why?

Sharp suddenly stopped in front of me. "Ah, my virtue, you want to know it." Before I even replied she spoke again. "Commitment."

"Commitment?" I asked, a little confused, although I knew the meaning of the word.

"I commit myself to a thing or plan and no matter how much it hurts, I follow it through to the end." She coughed a little after saying it. Her words were firm but I could hear it break down just before the end, the cough masking what seemed like pain or sadness.

"Before, when I was fighting that slaver...did you hear what I said?" Even though she wasn't facing me, I still looked down in what felt like shame.

Sharp turned around to face me. "No... I was too far away." Her voice filled with concern.

I took in a deep breath to calm myself, smiling to try to play it off as nothing. "I said my virtue was pain, but I don't know why?" I said, shrugging and exaggerating my body language to play it off as no big deal.

"...pain? What do you mean by that? Inflicting pain on others? Sharing pain or enduring the pain this world throws at you?"

From what I remember from the fight, I might have said all three. but if I had to confess or at least commit to one then it'll have to be the latter, endurance. "Enduring."

"Enduring?" She seemed to ponder that for a second before smiling at me. "So you promise to endure whatever happens and keep going? No matter what?"

I thought about it, could I really endure the pain I said I could? Could that be my anchor? My virtue? Why not? How hard could it be? "Yea sure, why not?" I said smiling back at her.

She gave me a light chuckle and carried on driving. I rummaged through a box that contained all my stuff: guns, check, ammo and other stuff, check. Then I saw it, the drawing Last Meal drew. I picked it up and flipped it over. Just as I expected, there was a number, number one. I asked Sharp for the envelope with the six on it and she tossed it to me. The six was red and drawn crudely. I contemplated skipping to six, it was unlikely I was ever going to find the missing ones, if they even existed. But in the end I chose to wait and see.

I began to feel a little sickness come on, then pass and decided now was a good time to get some RadAway. To my luck I found a pack in a box and was about to open it. That was until we came to a sudden stop, right when I was finally getting to a pack of RadAway. "Don't drink that!" Sharp yelled.

I didn't feel irradiated, probably because I assume Sharp gave me something in my sleep. But I still didn't know what demanded such a strict reply, so I put down the RadAway.

"Why not?" I asked, raising a brow.

She bit her lip thinking, before replying. "You're allergic, to RadAway. I think it might have been the Nightmare."

"...Well..." I pondered on what she said. I had RadAway in the past with no ill effects. But RadAway was the last thing I took before becoming heavily sick.

"For some reason, you are now allergic to a key compound in RadAway."

I thought back to my fever, then back to when I almost drank some a while ago. Thank goodness Sharp stopped me. There's no way I wanted to ever go through that again.

"So if I can't take RadAway, then what should I take?" She proceeded to pull a tin out of her bag and slid it over to me. I sniffed it cautiously. "What's this?"

I jumped back as she suddenly stabbed the tin with my knife. "Medicine, I believe it is a local prewar version of RadAway. Apparently one of the old clans that joined Blood Skull didn't like post-war medicine or something." With a creek, she peeled the tin can's top off, revealing a mix of gray, brown and green that I was sure wasn't edible.

I stared at it, then back at her, then back at it. "I don't think that’s..." Oh goddess fucking a fire hydrant that smelt bad, I don't think I'm getting better at these. "...food." I gagged and coughed, suddenly remembering and was glad I had not eaten in two days.

"You haven't eaten in two days and this stuff wasn't cheap. Besides it’s not that." It was at that moment she knew she fucked up, for at that moment she made the mistake of smelling it. I proceeded to look away as Sharp threw up a line on the road as we kept moving.

I scooted the monstrosity in a can away as I tried to comfort her, patting her back and holding her hair away from her mouth with a wing. "There, there, it's alright."

I left her as she stopped puking. It haunted me, that can with the 'Medicine.' Never did one of mom’s old sayings live up more than this moment. 'The best medicine tastes the worst.' I trotted over to the can, trying not to breathe as I couldn't take my eyes off it. I contemplated between taking it, or RadAway with a near lethal fever, or even risking the radiation I soaked up while in the swamp. What was the worst that could happen?

Sharp wiped her mouth with some cloth and sat down, still looking sick and pale, almost gray. "I…I was wrong. But you have to, you probably have a mild amount of radiation, you might feel fine now, but soon you'll feel tired all the time, you'll get stomach cramps and coughs and feel sick. But then there's a chance of a mutation, like growing an ear on your face, or having a tentacle for a hoof.

I sat beside her as I thought about what she said. She was right, as usual. I had to take it, things would only get worse if I didn't. Although the things I could do with a tentacle for a hoof... One swift hoof to the side of my face brought my mind up from my crotch and reminded me that I was in a wagon with my sister, although I was still blushing a little.

To avoid any further beating for dirty thoughts and to hide my blushing as I realized I almost started pervertedly drooling next to my little sister I did the only thing I could think of. "I'll eat it!" I dared to look up, fearing the look she gave me when she had found that Playpony magazine Doc had given to me as a gift that I had hidden.

I still remember the beating she gave me and the talk my mother gave me as dad just laughed. I also remember the speech Doc madewhen he gave me the thing and the speech he used when he sold me out when my parents made me go talk to him. It was then that I realized, I was procrastinating, out of fear.

I crawled to the can, Sharp staring me down from behind. I shook as I gripped it between my wings as I brought it closer to my face. I think this was the single most nerve-wracking experience of my life, my jaw quivered as I opened wide and took a deep breath before tilting the content of the can down my throat.

Now, this is the part where you'd expect me to tell you how horrible and foul it tasted, how it tasted worse than chewing through a ghoul. Well, you'd be wrong, actually, despite the smell, it tasted pretty good.

As soon as a drop of its juices hit my tongue, I knew. This was the best stuff I've ever tasted. It was so sweet and juicy, fruity too. I didn't know what flavour it was but it was amazing. It was syrupy and defined. Before I knew it I forgot about the smell and was busy muzzle deep trying to lick the bottom of the can. I knew then that I had to find the recipe for this amazing, this amazing what? Umm? I didn't even know the name of this amazing medicine.

I only stopped when I saw the bewildered face of Sharp, the kind of face you make if you don't know if someone has brain damage or purposely wears a tin foil hat. Long story short, it was the latter and no it wasn't me, it was a merchant that passed through town.

My face still in the tin can, I answered her look. "It’s. Not that bad." I blushed and shook the can off as I licked my lips.

"Riiiiiiiiight." She said,nodding slowly.

The wagon came to a stop, followed by one of the brahmin speaking up. "You have arrived at your destination. Iron Gem."

We popped our heads out to see a huge gate and some guards. Between us was a cart. This one looked like it carried an important pony of some kind, but I was too focused on the guards. They looked different than the ones at Frost Crystal. They were armored with what looked like thick bulky metal armor and worn mining helmets.

Their battle saddles looked professional, sporting clean assault rifles, magical laser rifles and one auto-magic laser rifle. I resisted the urge to whistle or get hard as I couldn't help but stare at their guns. The only thing was, they had the Red Skull clan icon painted onto their chest armor with what I hoped was paint.

The guards were arguing and yelling at some pony on the cart. Before long the doors opened and steam and smoke poured out, one rolling to the frozen ground and the other rising into the air. Out stepped something I never expected to see in the wasteland or ever for that matter, a zebra.

He was wearing a top hat with an ace of hearts and queen of diamonds playing card stuck in the belt of the hat. He had round glasses with smiley faces on them, with glowing yellow eyes that seemed to peek over the top of them through his messy gray mane. His right front leg had a brace on it and he had a fancy wooden cane with a weird handle in his mouth to help him hobble along. I could see his char black coat with its white stripes that gave away the fact he was a zebra.

The guards shut up as soon as they saw him, seeming to be as surprised as I was. Hell, even Sharp was surprised. We leaned against the cloth to try and get a closer look when we slipped and ended up falling out of our wagons in a heap. We stared at them as we laid there for a moment before getting up and turning around.

"You two, come here!" One of the guards demanded.

We turned back to them and approached them, I looked to Sharp who I knew could talk us out of this. Hopefully, they don't recognize me, I mean I did attack Slave Town a few days ago. I made sure to keep my wings hidden and my head down as we trotted closer. I couldn't help but look at the zebra, who in turn did the same.

"Gentle stallions, my brother and I were just~"

"Shut it! We'll deal with you after this striped bastard." The one guard yelled, interrupting Sharp.

"What are you doing?! He's~"

"I don't care! He killed her! Amber." Whatever was up between this guard and this zebra, I clearly didn't know.

The zebra smirked and mumbled. "A is for Amber who drowned in a pool." His voice was exotic and smooth, yet demanding for attention.

"Damn you, zebra scum!" The guard charged forward, bit in his mouth and ready to fire. The zebra smirked and the length of his cane fell away as he pointed it at his attacker. Everyone knew what it was as the guard skid to a halt just an inch from the barrel of the gun. "W~wait." The zebra just smirked as he pulled the trigger.

There was a green flash and the distance sound of a plasma shot. Even after, I could still hear the plasma's hiss. Even with the helmet, the zebra's strange gun had shot right through the guard's helmet. He fell to the side with a large hole in his head, green light, smoke and gray matter pouring out. I looked up to the zebra and saw the same smoke pouring out of the barrel, illuminated by a dying green glow coming from within the crude round barrel.

We all just looked at the zebra with shock and surprise. He was still smirking as he flicked his head down and the barrel of the pistol opened up. He reloaded it with a round I wasn't familiar with. In fact, I wasn't even familiar with the gun all together. He snapped it shut again, so it was a break-action pistol like some revolvers. I wanted a closer look, and by not thinking I decided to stand up and walk over to them.

"H~halt!" the last guard demanded as he revved up his auto-magic laser rifle.

I stopped in my tracks. The zebra looked me over and gave a little chuckle before stepping in. "You wouldn't be threatening my champion? Now would you?"

The guard quickly took his mouth off the bit of his battle saddle and took a step back, shaking his head vigorously. "N, no sir! I… Umm please head right in." The pony stumbled to reach for a radio on his side and contacted someone to open the gate.

"Good, take care of their wagon." The zebra turned to Sharp and I. "You two can ride with me from here on."

I was a little confused but that wasn't anything new. I opened my mouth to speak when Sharp jumped in. "Thank you, sir. Go on brother." She practically pushed me in the cart. The unknown zebra stepped in and the door slammed shut.

I looked around the plush interior, with purple velvet seats and a mini chandelier with tinted black windows. It was heated and in the middle sat what I assumed was the zebra's smoking pipe, smoke still pouring out of it.

I opened my mouth to speak when the zebra spoke first. "Welcome to Iron Gem."

Author's Notes:

Last update: 17/7/17

Level up, Level 4.

13 points added. 13 to unarmed.

level 1, Enduring Will, plus 10% damage resistance when below 25% health.

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Noble+Balance
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/275628/EverfreePony
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/230688/Fair+Play
Thanks for all the help ^^