Here I am yet again, floating in the abyss that is my own unconscious mind as I have once more have suffered grievous injuries, but at last I am still alive.

I didn't have to wait long for my benefactor to make an appearance this time as I simply felt their presence as I willed my astral form to spin around to face them. When we last spoke to one another they had said that we will tell me who they are later, and later has just come so they better start talking or this working relationship we got is about to become strained real fast.

When my eyes looked upon the form of my benefactor, I was expecting for them to be a griffon deity since I landed right next to their race's capital on this continent or hell even a pony deity since ponies live amongst the griffons in peace or some other race's god or goddess that reside in this world, but what floated before was anything but them.

Floating before me was the strangest creature I have ever seen, and I must say that I have seen some strange shit on the internet, but this really takes the cake for me as it looks like a long brown chocolate pool noodle with limbs and a tail but that is where the normality of it ends. Each limb was different from the rest of them, my benefactor's left arm was that of an eagle's while the right arm was a meaty lion's paw, and for their legs the left one was that of a bovine's or a horse while the right leg was that of a dragon's or a lizard. At first, I thought that was it until I saw a pair of wings steadily stretch out from its back, one wing was purple and resembled a bat while the other was a blue feathered wing, and then I saw the horns and they too were mismatched like the rest of its body, one like a deer's and the other...I have no idea what animal that came from.

As this figure approached and moved out from the shadows, I saw that this figure was female as I those strangely deliciously thick thighs, and breasts that are actually in the right spot on a human but odd on...whatever this being is.

The two of us simply stared at one another for a good long while before the silence was broken when the amalgam creature snapped its talons and the area around us explosively changes into what looks like a therapist's room, right down to the plain creme wallpaper, sofa and chair, it even had the corny 'Hang in there' poster with the cat hanging on the tree branch and that little toy chicken dipping its head into a cup of water.

"There, now we can talk in a much more comfortable environment instead of just us two floating in darkness." my benefactor said in an airy female voice that caught me completely off-guard as she lazily floated over to the sofa and laid across it as with her head hanging off of one side while most of her tail went over the other side and was now laying on the floor, occasionally moving every now and then like a cat's would.

I simply stood there in the middle of the room staring at my benefactor for a good long while and for the most part she didn't seem to care that I was looking her over, inspecting her form as I couldn't help but be somewhat in awe as her body is made up of several different creatures and it doesn't look like that she is some sort of Frankenstein monster. For the people who inhabit this world, something like this must be normal for them to see but for me who has explored the internet and seen some shit but this female being, she really takes the cake when it comes to her appearance.

This went on for a few minutes until finally my benefactor snapped her fingers again but this time my head moved against my will as it slowly moved in the direction of my benefactor's head before being locked in that position.

"Now I know I am rather beautiful to behold but do keep your gaze from going too lecherous while we have our little talk."

Immediately averting my gaze and muttering a near-silent 'sorry' as silence reigns between us for all of two seconds before my benefactor starts snickering to herself before it evolves into full-blown hysterical laughter that goes on for a full minute before it petters down to her snickering at my confused expression. Once her giggling and snickering ends, she snaps her talons again but this time I am teleported to the chair in the sitting position but upside down with my head on the floor and my feet on the headrest.

"There we go, now we can have a proper talk! So, here we are, inside your head once more but this time we have some...bleh, important and serious things to talk about, so let us get this over with and out of the way. So then ask your questions my little peon, and I promise that I will answer them truthfully to the best of my abilities."

"Uh...yeah, I got a few, the first one should be painfully obvious. What the hell are you?" I said as I continued to look at the creature before me, my mind still struggling to try and figure out what this thing is and how did it even come into existence.

My benefactor didn't even look offended or insulted by my words, in she just gave me a raised eyebrow before chuckling to herself before snapping her eagle talons as a green chalkboard appears out of nowhere with what looks like two crude drawings of what looks like two more of her kind, but they are in the missionary position...and what made it even more confusing to me that it was all animated. I didn't know how she was even doing that but then I realized that this was nothing more than my subconscious mind creating all of this so naturally in the impossible can be done.

"Well, you see, when a mommy draconequus and a daddy draconequus love each other very much-"

"I get it, they start fucking and eventually you show up. I know what procreation and sexual intercourse is, I learned this shit in school and from the copious amounts of porn I saw back home. This is nothing new to me." I said as I drew my eyes away from the chalkboard just as the two were finishing up, and by finishing up I mean finishing up as the two fucking chalk figures looks like they have reached their climatic end as the green chalkboard turned white.

All I could do was inch myself away from the chalkboard before returning my attention to my benefactor who was busy laughing to herself at the sight of my apparent disgust at the sight of her animated chalk drawings getting it on like horny beasts in season.

"Oh, goodie then, I guess we won't be needing the flash cards and projector slides, but anyways I am a Draconequus, and while most races on Equus will say that we are simply nothing more than 'abominations of nature and harmony' we are in fact creatures of chaos and change, no two draconequus are alike nor do they appear similar, our forms take after our connection to chaos so that is why we are what we are."

"And your name?"

"Ah, that thing that you mortals love to wave around in the faces of others. While the others in the pantheon have names that they go by and those that are their true names and by extension to me as I am somewhat a part of it...I guess you can call me Eris, just don't say my name out loud for others to hear, I would rather my existence be kept a secret to the rest of the mortal realm until it is the proper time for my grand reveal." my now named benefactor said as she crosses her arms and gives an adorable pout, seemingly acting like a child to get what they want.

Shrugging my shoulders at her attitude I began to recall back the few times that we have talked and remembered certain topics that I have wanted to get the truth from.

"And your father's name, the one you have me trying to break out of his prison?"

"Oh, his name is Discord, Lord of Chaos, Ruler of Chaosville, King of all cheese, and most importantly, is the primary source of Chaos magic on Equus, with me being second." King of Cheese? You can't be a king over food, that is just being ridiculous and if I were to ever meet him than I think I may have some choice words for him.

"Can you tell me the exact reason as to why you want me to uproot the established order with the changes that I have caused to this world along with the changes that will come from my presence and ideas?"

"I wanted you to uproot order and spread chaos because that is what my father and I live off of! We are the opposite of Order, everything neat and tidy and clean is our anathema and we simply could not stand it for so long, so we did what needed to be done. With chaos in the world, we can draw upon it to not only keep us alive but to also make us stronger and with enough chaos in the world we can even do what the rest of the pantheon won't do." Eris says as she snaps her talons and slithers up from her resting position on the sofa as she is now floating in the air with what looks like several arcane circles floating around her, sigils and runes floating within magical disks as she simply snaps her talon and the magic show comes to an end as quickly as they began.

I am honestly wondering now if she is free along with her father and that I am just doing this to further empower them so that they could take over the world, but then again, they could actually be the good guys, or I could be making a huge mistake, its 50/50 that I am right or wrong.

"So why are you and your father imprisoned...wherever it is where you are behind lock and key?"

"Oh, that one is an easy one, you see kiddo a long time ago my father and I were locked away because we simply went against the natural order of everything on this world. While the others in the pantheon were happy with how ungainly slow the world was developing, it has gotten to the point where stagnation has settled in for every race on the planet and you and I both what happens when stagnation settles in."

"Aye, nothing changes, everyone becomes happy with their lot in life and never strives to better themselves to the point where boredom and disappointment settles in, with no goals nor achievements to head for they all fall apart. Hell, if an outside force such as disease, catastrophic weather accidents, or even war were to show up, they would be unprepared and pay the price for it before stagnation either kills them off or they endure and survive." I said this as I walked over to the other chair in the room and sat down in it, relaxing in the fake leather seat as I felt myself sink into it as I let out a sigh of contentment.

"Yup! And that is exactly what dear old daddy and I did to the world! Together we weaved a spell that would cause problems such as the above and then some more thrown in for added measure that would prevent stagnation from laying claim to this world and well, it went about as well as one can expect from the community. The other gods were most displeased with what we have done and so we fought, and we obviously lost but we got the last laugh as they couldn't undo what has been set in motion!" Eris says all of this with a large, face-splitting grin, apparently happy that they lost in their fight against the other gods in the world.

"And what exactly did you set in motion?" I asked as I tried to figure out what could possibly make her so happy about this, but I have a suspicious feeling that she will tell me whether I ask her or not.

"Why my dear little friend, it is the most important thing of all! Perpetual Chaos!"

"I take it that is the best possible outcome for you?" I said, eyebrow raised a tiny bit as I started to realize that what Eris and her father have done may be the equivalent of the apocalypse if everyone is so adverse against the generation of chaos.

"Yuppers! With chaos being in constant motion be it from the weather, the natural chaos of people's lives and the disharmony that comes with it, us draconequus will be empowered by it and I must say it will be great for everyone!"

That raised my eyebrow a little higher from me, something that was immediately picked up on by my benefactor who then quickly explained herself.

"Well, everyone will benefit if they adapt themselves to the changes instead of simply remaining the same after the great waves of change comes crashing around them."

"And if they don't adapt to the changes, you and your father made, I take it they simply suffer more from it, is that what I am getting from all this?"

"Yup! And besides, life is not all about sunshine and rainbows! It's also about the suffering and overcoming adversity to grow and become better than one previously was! And yet, those damnable harmony-loving ponies managed to persuade and coerce all of the other races on Equus and turned them against us, I guess nobody wanted a challenge in their lives and wanted everything handed to them on a silver platter."

"I take it that they then tried to undo what you have done and failed?"

"Oh yeah, they failed alright, when Discord and I created and casted that spell, we made sure to place them at each and every single leyline node on the planet so that even if they tried to break one of the enchantment circles it would simply reconstruct itself and go back to working. And since we hit every single node and made sure that the spell couldn't be undone, we have successfully created a means of never-ending chaos!"

"But how did you end up losing?"

"We kinda...maybe sorta...forgot to add the most crucial part of the spell." Eris says as she somewhat laughs to herself, rubbing the back of her head as she slowly floats down to the floor, her tail coiling up to form a makeshift seat.

"What did you forget?"

"Discord forgot to add the chaos siphon to the spell that whenever and wherever chaos is happening it would immediately absorb it, while I forgot to add the directional siphoning part to the spell so that the collected chaos would go straight to us, and we wouldn't have to do anything ever again." Eris says this as she relaxes on top of her tail, looking somewhat sheepish at her failure alongside with her father's failure as well.

"So let me get this straight, you both made the perfect means of being powerful at all times, but you forgot to set it to only target the two of you?"

"You got it in one." Eris says again, sinking further into her tail while trying to hide her shame, I didn't notice it at all as I was too busy dragging my hand over my face as my brain was busy trying not to commit suicide over how badly they fucked up their world domination plan.

"Okay, I got one more question for you for the moment."

"Lay it on me."

"How the hell did I get to this world? Last time I checked I was back on Earth enjoying myself, now I am on what amounts to Middle Earth without the weed smoking wizard and evil as fuck goblins."

It was at that moment when I asked that question did Eris stop looking sheepish and instead looked a little sad, I don't know if that was the right question to ask her but since it was just the two of us, I may as well bite the bullet and ask the most important question of them all.

"I can't really answer that question, that is something you have to ask my dad because it was his magic that snagged you before you...well, he is the one you have to ask. My only role in bringing you here was giving him enough juice to yank you across time and space...and through a loophole."

"What was that last part?" I said as I leaned in, straining myself a bit to hear what was said by the suddenly now shy and demure draconequus.

"Time and space, you have no idea how insanely difficult it is to so let alone with a body, now if it was a corpse or an object than it can be done so with ease, but a living body? Oh boy you better be ready to either end up as a red stain on the ground from the changes in the rules of physics and reality or be mentally prepared to have your body morphed to match the new world." Eris says this as she bursts out from her coils, trying to rein herself in as she blurts out that knowledge, apparently this sort of thing is either common for the gods to do or just those crazy enough to do it.

"Oh, so what you are saying is that you two went through all that trouble just to yank me across reality? Why?" I said as I crossed my arms over my chest, clearly not amused with this new information nor was I particularly happy that I got yanked by two chaos gods for their own plans.

"Because out of all the worlds out there, your world had the most chaos on it and well you, you were just at the right spot at the right moment. So, kinda sorry that we took you away from your home but also not sorry since you are helping us be free from our imprisonment." Eris says once again her face going sheepish as she scratches the back of her head with that damnable adorable sheepish grin, I swear it's like she is just trying to get me to not hate her.

Pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes I gave my mind one last bit of brain racking before asking Eris my last question for the time being.

"I am wondering, when am I going to be meeting your father, the grand architect of this entire chaos scheme that you both dragged me into?" And it was with this question that brought Eris out from her short-lived funk and once again got a grin on that face of hers.

"Oh, my Ian, wanting to meet my father already and so soon at that! Are you going to ask him if you could ask me out on a date! So forward and bold of you!" Eris says all this while she slithers around me, coiling herself around me before bringing her face close to mind and rubs against while I try to put distance between myself and her, but sadly my attempt ends in total and absolute failure.

"God damn it Eris! No that was not what I was going to ask him, I swear to god you remind me of my shit-posting friends back home." I said as dragged yet another hand across my face, now I am fearing that I may be getting an aneurysm of pure stupidity from this conversation.

This of course gets an insane cackle from the she-draconequus as she then pulls out an old-fashioned camera, you know the one with the big ass lightbulb on it, makes her arm detach from her body, float off a few feet away from us before taking a picture, my vision going white as I lose my sight due to the ungodly blinding light.

I hear the sound of a photo being waved and as color starts returning to my vision as the dots rapidly fade away, I see the photo and all I could is cringe at the sight of it.

The photo was of Eris and myself, the girl wrapped around me like a snake about to devour its next meal with the exception that she was nuzzling against me with the biggest shit-eating grin I have ever seen while I was doing my best to get away from her. After letting me see the photo for a few seconds her floating arm throws the camera behind itself as it explodes in a cacophony of belches as she giggles and uncoils herself from me as she floats over to the wall and slaps the picture to the surface and writes underneath it with that snaggletooth of hers as if it were a pen.

'Best friends forever!'

"Now then my little adorable scamp, it's time for you to wake up! Those griffon medics should have you patched up by now and if not, then well I hope they are ready for you cause it's time to greet the morning!" Eris says this as she pulls from behind her back a massive halibut fish, googles eyes and covered in glitter.

"Eris wait!" I shouted this as I raised my arms up to defend myself, but I knew that I didn't stand a chance in hell.

"Toodles!" Was the last thing I hear before I got crushed underneath the colossal fish and was thrusted back into the conscious world of Equus, with new information in hand but back into the waking world in a world of pain.

Here is your Christmas release, even though its not holiday related!