And so I began from the beginning.

"Well then, do you want the short and sweet version or would you prefer it if I told you the long version that might as well be a part of my memoires?"

"Give me the short version first, if I do not find it satisfactory than I shall ask you for the longer version." The griffon king said as he relaxed a bit and sat down where he was standing, I guess he is like me and would rather be relaxed and giving his legs a break from standing.

Too bad I don't get that same reprieve.

"Very well." I said as I straightened out my clothes and began to recount my somewhat exciting time in this world.

"I climbed down a deep hole and grabbed your precious idol from the edge of a hunk of fragile rock."

"I then got stolen by a bunch of diamond dogs and then was pressed into serving the alpha because I was the smartest one out of their entire warren so I was forced to teach his son how to read and write."

"Then I rescued your griffons that apparently were slaves and stole a few pounds of gold from the alpha before escaping from the warrens."

"I climbed back up the mountain with the idol in my hands only to get swarmed and beaten by your chickens dressed in guards attire."

"And now I am here." I said while rotating the Idol of Boreas in my left hand, the dickhead leader of the shame parade handed it back to me while we were marching up here and I must say I am happy to have this back into my possession. Don't know why but for some reason that the mere thought of it being removed from my grasp sends a pang of pain to my heart and I just don't know why.

The king was standing there in front of me, thinking it over what I said and for a second I thought that he was going to believe me.

But I know that bullshit wasn't very convincing and that he is going to make me tell him everything from start to finish, I just might be able to omit a thing or two from him to save my own skin.

"So many details missing, I need to know more..." And that was when I knew that my short version should of had some details thrown into it, looks like I fucked up this time.

"Start over from the beginning, but this time give me details, I don't care how asinine it may be, just do it." Asinine? Oh boy.

And so I began...

I told the king of my encounter with Grandpa Gruff and those that were working with him. I told him about the offer that Grandpa Gruff made to me, the price of my job to retrieve the Idol of Boreas from the Abysmal Abyss and my request of supplies to get the job done.

I told the king that I made the climb after finding and hiring a local griffon to guide me to the abyss who asked me for a favor seeing how I didn't have any coin on me at the moment. He asked me what the favor was but I told him that I didn't know, only that in the coming months that I should expect her to cash in the favor. The king only shook his head at me and muttered 'fool' before pressing me to resume.

I recalled upon my time during the climb down into the abyss, on how it was easy to get down to reach the Idol of Boreas, but when I had tried to climb back up it was next to impossible as the wind was picking up and the idol was for some reason unreasonably heavy for its size.

I said that I had to stop and take a breather because the climb had took a lot out of me so I climbed into a small alcove within the abyss's wall and laid down for a rest, but I was woken up when I felt something cover my mouth and grabbed me from behind before being yanked into the darkness that was right behind me. Consciousness returned to me later as I had woken up in a rusty prison cell that had several griffons laying around and a single aged minotaur as my cellmates along with a single bat pony.

When the bat pony witnessed my awakening it attacked me but I defended myself and put it in its place before watching the pony and griffons argue over the bat pony's goddess who supposedly almost destroyed the world by drowning it in never-ending darkness.

The griffon king let out a snort as he grumbled about the lunar pony goddess for being a fool and also for being so bold as to enter his kingdom without warning and with an entourage of a large escort of armed guards. Apparently at the time he could have easily said that Princess Luna was invading the griffon kingdom because she had entered his lands, unannounced and with such a large force, something that apparently no sane ruler should ever do but this one did it anyways.

After that he told me to continue but his tone was no longer that of anger or borderline 'royally pissed', it was now more along the line of simmering anger and was trying to calm himself down so he can analyze my journey and find if I am some sort of threat to him and his or rule or his city.

I proceeded to talk about my time I spent in the rusting cell, I told him about its occupants, I started with the minotaur who apparently was traveling to Griffonstone to stop there to meet his son, the bat pony was working as an escort for the griffons to lead them back to their lands.

But when I started to talk about the griffons that was in the cell his eyes widened and his beak dropped as he recognized the ones I was talking about.

"You found my daughter!?" The king shouted in surprise, apparently I wasn't specific enough when it concerned the griffons that I rescued.

"Yeah I di-wait, she's your daughter?" I actually thought that griffon hen I rescued was just saying she was a princess when she was actually a daughter of some wealthy high-standing noble.

"Yes! My little Eraclea! Where is she! Where is my daughter!" The king shouted at me as he grabbed me by the shoulders and started to shake me around.

I know that in cartoons its supposed to be somewhat funny to see someone do that to someone else, but when its done to me, I can feel my brain being smooshed around and that my head is hurting because of it. And also that I am starting to get dizzy and I would really hate it if I were to puke right now, cause not only would I be puking on a king, but I would also be puking on the one person who would not hesitate to kill me on the spot.

Shaking myself out from the king's grip I stood back up and dusted myself off before staring down at the king, I know that the ponies stood up at about three-four feet in height, these griffons sort of are taller by a few more inches but I still towered over them by at least a good foot and a half.

"Well last time I saw her it was after I rescued her from the diamond dogs, I saved her and her entourage of guards and we went our separate ways." And by separate ways I mean one of your noble cronies is holding her hostage.

"You abandoned my daughter!" And like that any brownie points I might have earned just went up in flames.

And by flames I mean in a pyre used to burn witches.

"No, your daughter was in the company of her fellow guards, if anything she should have been here way before me because she can fly and I can't. Hell when we went our separate ways I told her to not wait for me and to go straight home, I guess she either didn't listen to me or she stayed behind to talk to the pony princess for whatever reason." And its not like I totally left her at the mercy of a traitorous backstabbing cunt of a noble who pretty much bribed me.

And I still haven't counted all of that coin on my hip or in my backpack...I better be rich or I am turning this car around and ramming my sword into Tazel's face...

...that sounded better in my head...now it just sounds like I want to shove my dick in his beak...nope.

He might bite it off and think its a worm...hell no.

"Hmm...and after you left my daughter behind, what did you do?"

"I took my buddy and made our way back up here, after all I did what Grandpa Gruff asked me to do and got the idol and I did." I said while brushing my left arm, there was some dirt on it and I just had to get it off of me.

"And where is this idol?" The king asked me inquisitively, apparently he thought that I was talking a load of horse shit about the idol.

Too bad I got it right here in my hand.

"Right here." I said as I raised it up, the golden object not once getting dirty nor did it get scuffed during the tackle.

The shiny, slightly glowing object in my hand was raised up into the air as I raised it above my head, for a moment I thought I heard the angelic chorus of a holy hymn and I could only crack a small smile as I can see the light gleam off of it bounce off its reflective surface into my eyes.

"You...you actually have it..." The griffon king uttered in shock, his beak quivering and his eyes starting to water and it wasn't just him that was doing this, his guards was doing this as well.

They were standing all around me, their spears were no longer pointing at me but they were instead on the ground, either as a sign that they are no longer hostile towards me or that they are clearly overcome with a sense of euphoric joy that they have their idol back.

Or that they are just responding the same way the king is and are trying to make me feel better.

Probably both, maybe a little bit more from the latter.

Lowering the idol I extended my arm out to him as I presented the idol to his face, and ever so slowly I watched the king sit on his rear legs while reaching out with both of his talons and gently grasped the idol from me and from his shock I can tell that he is ecstatic with joy but he is just too shocked to show it.

"Y-y-you...but...you had no obligation to this nation to return this to us...you could have just left with it and sold it to some merchant for a pretty bit...but you didn't...why? You told me yourself that you don't live here and that you are not a citizen of the kingdom and yet you still came back and returned it to us...I just don't understand you." Why understand the strange stranger?

"It's okay big guy, no one understands me anyways. I have accepted that fact a long time ago and I got used to it, I don't need other people to like me or even know me, as long as I can get what I need to survive and thrive and not have to worry about being dragged down by those around me, than I can accept it and move on." I am a loner by default, but sometimes I get some friends or traveling companions that I just can't seem to get rid of, and besides a few of them are worth keeping around.

If just barely for the moment before they leave me.

"But..., you would rather live the rest of your life alone and on the move instead of settling down with a nice...girl? A hen or mare perhaps? I don't know what you like or your preferences but surely you must have some other reason as to why you won't settle down?" Me? Settle down? Do I look like my brother? That poor dumb bastard fell head over heels for some chick that was a few years younger than him and even after I told him to at least wait a few years to have enough money to act as a security net to fall on when things go south, he didn't listen and now he has two kids and his ass is working two jobs.

Way to go dumbass, ignore the dude with the plan, that always works out so well for you.

"Other than not having any money on me because I live on the road, no place to call my own, no job to keep myself alive and to maintain a home if I were to ever have one and also I am sure that there are no girls out there that have an inkling of affection for a guy like me." I said with confidence but that shit cracked faster than an egg being dropped on the floor.

For all of my boldness and other shit that I do to keep myself sane and happy, being alone was the biggest fear that I have along with my reasonable fear of spiders and bees.

"I know how you feel, I was the same thing when I was a hatchling, except I had to deal with countless hens that said that they loved me but deep down I know that they were only trying to become royalty and never have to lift a single talon for the rest of their lives. Naturally this put me off of ever finding a mate for as long as I live but eventually there was one hen that actually did care about me and didn't even care that I was the crown prince, and so here we are, happily married and with a daughter who will go through the same thing I did all those years ago, but this time trying to find a griffon that won't use her for his own ends."

"Bet you that almost every single noble out there that has a son or two would just love to try to ask your daughter's talon."

"You have no idea outsider, you have no idea." I bet I do know, that is how this shit usually works. Hope this guy has a baseball bat or a mace to scare the suitors away. Or bash their heads in.

"I pretty sure think I do know, almost all nobles are selfish, greedy, gluttonous bastards who only care about their own House and are not afraid to do anything to get what they want."

"Seems like you know your nobility..." The king says as he regards his own nobles in a slight disdainful light. And I mean who wouldn't do the exact same thing?

"I dealt with my fair share of noble bastards in the past, all of them are total ass clowns with the exception of a few." And by deal with I mean from my many games I have played where the nobles I have worked for always ends up betraying me some point in time in the quest.

"Yes, they are...but anyways back to my daughter. Why did you leave her?"

"I didn't leave her, I told her that we should go our separate ways. If they diamond dogs was going to chase us than they would have a hard time capturing her again if she were to take to the sky and fly straight up while we led them off their trail by taking the long way to Griffonstone by going here by foot. I mean it was the smartest thing I could think of at the moment, after all its not like diamond dogs can secretly fly right?"

"No, they can't fly, unless you count jumping off a cliff as flying. But I can see your point, my daughter wouldn't have been captured again by those mutts if she took to the air and flew home, but she hasn't so something else must have interfered with her flight path." Flight path? I doubt that girl needs a series of blinking lights to guide her home.

She's a griffon not an airplane or a blimp, she doesn't need someone to hold her talons and guide her back home.

"Probably the weather and she stopped and had to land?" I made an educated guess and yet the king gives me the look that screams 'Are you stupid or something?' and I must say I think it stings my pride.

"I guess, but we will know soon enough once she gets home." If she gets home.

"Sir, the pony princess." One of the guards asked the king and that lit a small fire under his ass he went back to questioning me.

"Ah...yes...Princess Luna. Tell me, why was she here? Why was the co-ruler of Equestria in my lands and why was she inside a diamond dog warrens with you?" Other than rescuing that one shithead of a bat pony? No idea.

"I honestly don't know your highness, but what I do know is that the bat pony that was with your daughter apparently called her through some sort of magical means, probably left a message before they were captured or used a magic device to sent a signal. I honestly don't know but when she came here, she was all piss and vinegar, that girl was madder than a rabid wolf that just found a den of rabbits and they were all asleep."

For all I know that girl was only there for her bat pony and that's it.

Or she was trying to secretly invade the griffon kingdoms, hell if I know but from her mere excursion into a foreign neighbors lands, she upset the king and I can smell in the future some diplomatic crisis is going to unfold.

Whatever the cause for her entering the griffon lands is, I don't care and I don't want to know. All that I do know is that she attacked me along with her guards so they are on my shit list.

And nobody, ever gets off the shit list...

Unless they do me a solid. A really good solid.

"So you don't know why the equestrian princess entered my lands and invaded a dog warren other than to retrieve her precious pony...I no doubt in my mind that she interrogated you when she had you cornered."

"Not really."

"What do you mean 'not really'? An alicorn, no matter if they have been gone for a thousand years or not would have either forced their will upon you by making you submit with their magic or use their royal guards to make you submit. Well, it doesn't matter now, she for the most part just simply took what she wanted from your mind without your permission anyways, she is the sister after all that tried to condemn the entire world to an eternal night that would have frozen half of us while boiling the rest." The king said before scoffing at my 'inability' to give him a full answer, and I mean come on, its not my fault that I am not too good on the details, eat a snickers big guy.

"Actually, she couldn't get into my head, her magic seemed to just...fizzle on contact with me." And by fizzle I mean leave a fucking splurge stain on my shirt that won't wash out.

"...what? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, see?" I said before taking off my hoodie to reveal on my shirt the dark blue stain that is smeared all over my chest.

And to my astonishment the king could only nod at me before speaking up again.

"It would seem you are full of surprises outsider...I mean...I...I don't even know your name." The king finally said and it was about time too, I was starting to hate being called outsider.

"It's Ian, your highness." I actually had to think this one out on how to address the king while giving him my name so I went with the direct route, after all it hasn't failed me yet.

"Ian...strange name for a diamond dog, but then again stranger things have been happening in this world and you are most certainly not up there in the top strangest things of all time. That title currently belongs to Discord, the God of Chaos."

"Discord?" I said while rolling the world around in my head. How does someone end up with that name? Isn't discord just you know, a thing that happens when shit goes down and everyone is at each others throat?

"Yes, Discord, that amalgamation of mismatched species ruled the world for countless centuries, and it has only been a little over a thousand years since his defeat but the world still feels his reign to this day." So he is like a walking world-destroying hazard?

Good to know, now I know who to avoid and who to not invite to New Year's Eve.

"Really? How so?" I asked as I tilted my head a bit, I mean its not like he is such a huge threat to the world that his mere presence manages to alter the very fabric of reality as we know it. Right? Right!?

"Well other than the rogue weather that comes from affected patches of land that are permanently tainted by Discord's influence there are the occasional abomination that comes into being when the beasts of the wild enter these infected areas and are exposed to the chaos within those zones."

"Ouch, must be painful when anything fuses together." Cause it better be damn painful, fusing two living beings together just has to be. Snapping bones together, melting flesh and muscles to form one solid mass, converging nerves together...man fuck that shit just kill me.

"I can assure you, a painful melding of bodies would be the least thing you would be concerned with, your minds will be fractured and scattered to the four winds and your body will no longer be yours to control. You would just become another mindless beast but one with the enhanced power of Discord behind you." Well fuck that noise, I am avoiding those places like the plague.

"Well if I ever run into these beasts or accidentally enter one of these zones, either tell me to run like hell or give me a clean death."

"Noted, although I think you would know to run if you saw such a beast." And probably piss/shit myself.

"Right."

"And now we should get back on topic." The king addressed me as he simply looked at the bag of gold on my hip and my backpack that is positively filled to the brim with stolen dog loot.

"Go ahead." I said while making the gesture to do so, I must say having so much gold on me is starting to be a bit of a pain.

Gold is heavy man.

"Why did the princess not interrogate you while she had you cornered?"

"Because her magic seemed to have failed to have any kind of effect on me besides staining my shirt." That and it did make me feel a bit strange, not 'Haha' strange nor was it a 'Why Boner' strange. Just a normal bit of 'The fuck?' strange.

"Her magic failed? That is impossible! She can control the moon with her very mind and yet she was unable to touch you?"

Now that got my attention. No one should be able to control a moon unless they have a heavily reinforced bunker on the planet with an equally powerful satellite dish on top of it to do gravity n shit to it.

"Wait, what the fuck? Are you telling me that fat ass of a princess can move the moon? I thought you were just joking!?"

The king was a gasp when I called the lunar princess a fat ass, and come on when I saw her that girl got a bell bottom. Not that I am complaining because I am more of an ass-man than a tit-man, although than again...it all depends on the mood I am in and sadly at the time I was leaning towards dem maternal mufflers.

"No! Why would you think that I was trying to deceive you about an equestrian princess's power?"

"Because some people have the tendencies to make up stories when there isn't any definitive proof to prove it."

"Well let me assure you Ian, Princess Luna and her sister Princess Celestia are fully capable of controlling the celestial bodies that encircles us and they have absolute power over the sun and moon! Something that us mere mortals have no means of doing ourselves let alone have the methods of even daring to wrestle control for." Well, shit. Who knew that this world would have two goddesses that are actually capable of moving the celestial bodies with their very thoughts.

I'm fucked.

"I wouldn't doubt that, but if a princess was to lead a task force to infiltrate a neighboring nation to retrieve one of their own, that means she is either very confident that nobody was going to find out, or that she is very bold that if she was even caught in the act that she can get away with it."

"Seeing how this is Princess Luna we are dealing with...she was always the bold one of the two...always wanting to fight, to solve a problem if it were to ever arrive with a show of force. She was the feisty one of the two and because of it she has created her fair share of trouble for Equestria in the past..."

"Not much trouble, more like create a diplomatic incident that may or may not start a war or two. But seeing how she went through all that trouble for just one pony, she must either be rusty to the game of diplomacy and words, or that she just doesn't give two shits about any consequences that will come from this little incursion."

"No doubt in my mind that she knows that there will be political consequences for her incursion with an armed military force so very close to your capital. But then again she did tell me not to tell you about this but seeing how she oh so lovingly attacked me with magic, all bets were off the bargaining table."

"I bet, if she were to attack me because I was not telling her something than there would be either a war on their hooves or a great deal of wealth to be given to my kingdom as compensation for her actions."

"Hehe, I doubt she would be that stupid to attack a foreign ruler without thinking it through. Although then again a thousand years might have made her forget a few things..." I chuckled as I thought on how that would play out, someone that is disconnected due to time displacement and they accidentally start a war because of something they did, oh man that would suck some major amount of balls.

"That is a possibility but for the time being I shall table this line of thought for a later time. Let us return to what we were talking about which was why didn't the princess interrogate you?" The king asks as he rolls one of his talons at me, the simple gesture of 'Do please continue' was not lost on me as I had used it several times before back home, mostly on my parents and friends who had a habit of stalling for time or were looking for the right word to use.

"Because I told her at the time that I was hired by a griffon from Griffonstone to retrieve an object that was in the abyss and when she tried to ask me who was my employer I told her that I will not divulge that bit of information. She took it in stride and didn't press any further and decided that seeing that I was an agent of Griffonstone and that I was on a mission that I was to be released and to continue on my merry way but I made a request and said request was for my diamond dog friend to be released into my custody." I said as I turned around to look at my friend who was looking a bit down but he perked up when I mentioned his rescue.

I guess even here diamond dogs are a man's best friend.

All it takes is to be nice to them and also to be their friend.

That and also maybe offer them a bone or biscuit every now and then.

"And what did you do after that?" He said, inquiring further into my story as one of the guards shuffles from paw to paw, I guess it was about that time for them to be doing that.

After all standing in one place for long periods of time does warrant a displacement of weight from leg to leg to ease the leg cramps.

"I left the alicorn princess and her guards while Scrawny and I, the diamond dog behind me, left their company and proceeded to rescue your daughter from the prison cell she was sitting in. Afterwards we left the warrens through the front door and went our separate ways."

"Is that it?" The king says while arching an eyebrow, apparently he thought we would then go some sort grandiose adventure and we would be bringing back chests filled to the brim with loot.

"Well we did stay together for a while longer after leaving the warrens, turns out they hadn't had much room to stretch their wings and get their strength back into their bodies so we stayed together long enough for them to return to full strength. As soon as they got their strength back and was able to move under their own power we went our own separate ways and that was the last time I saw her." I said as went back to staring at the griffon king and to my credit he accepted my words without any questioning because the only ones who can determine if what I am saying is utter bullshit or the honest truth have yet to show up yet.

Nodding his head slowly he turned to the side and started to walk past me as he motioned for his guards to stand down.

"Come walk with me Ian, I wish to discuss this further but I am sure that you are in need of nourishment. I am unsure if you had a sustaining meal during your stay with your captors beneath the earth and it would be terribly rude of me as a host to Griffonstone's hero to let him starve. Also your friend may come as well, seeing how he is your friend and also your guide during your temporary stay with his kind." The griffon king asks me before resuming his walk and to our credit the guards stopped being utter dicks to us as they laid down their guard and let us follow their king without the need of having their weapons trained on us at all times.

Walking down the hall behind the king and his elite guards with an escort of the city guards around me and Scrawny, the three of us soon came upon the royal dining hall and I must say this place sorta looks like something one would expect from Vikings or well the Nords of Skyrim...hehe Viking birds, awesome.

And as it turns out it turns out to be somewhat true.

The griffons are a proud race of warriors who hold honor above all else, and that includes showing hospitality to those that are staying with them at the time, and at that time it turns out to be me and my friend. The dining hall held a large, long wooden table with several seats on both sides of the table with a throne-like seat at the far end with two smaller thrones next to it. My guess is that spot over yonder is reserved for the king, the queen and the missing princess, yet I am wondering where the seat is for the conquering hero?

Anyways other than the table there are four fire pits that are near the corners of the room and for the time being the flames within them are not particular strong or roaring, just enough to keep the room adequately warm and to stop it from being cold and uncomfortable.

If that particular seat is on the other end than that would just suck, cause the king seems like an alright guy and I bet he has tons of stories that could garner my interest along with anything else I should know about Griffonstone as a whole.

Sitting to the right of the king, (not the queen's seat but the one next to it), Scrawny sat on my right as the guards all stood at attention along the edge of the room, assuming their usual duty as a guard for the king.

"So...Ian...now that you have fulfilled your end of the bargain with Gruff, what are your plans for your stay within Griffonstone?" The king inquires as he gets himself comfortable in his smaller throne, and luckily for him his seat has a plumper cushion than the one I am sitting on because my ass is already starting to set a groove into it.

That question actually made me stop thinking about what I was going to do while in the palace, I mean I was gonna try to sneak around and hopefully sneak into the kitchen to eh, 'Liberate' some food from the pantry but now though...

"I actually haven't really thought that far ahead your highness."

"Really now? For one who stood against an alicorn and lived to tell the tale, you never planned for the future?"

"Uh...yeah? I just go with the flow of things and I just improvise as I go along with it. I mean I did that when I used to work as a cashier at the store I worked at."

"A cashier? Pray tell me Ian, what is that?" The King said in interest, apparently they either don't know what a cashier is or he doesn't know what one does while at the cash-register, both options are viable at this point in time.

Probably both, I doubt this world even has a working microwave oven or even elevators. Hopefully they got working toilets cause I am not shitting into a bucket for the rest of my life!

"Well a cashier is a person who pretty much scans, bags and takes the money of the customer who comes to the store seeking food or some other miscellaneous object to purchase."

"...so you handled money?" Well when you put it that way....yeah? Pretty much actually, that and coupons and food.

"You can say that, but in simpler terms I was a trader for the most part then I was a secretary, and now a mercenary. A bit of a diversity when it comes to me as I couldn't really decide on what I wanted to be."

"Interesting, but it doesn't really explain if you have anything planned for the future, because after all even if you do amass a fortune by slaying feral beasts or rescuing civilians from bandits it would amount to nothing if you were to die from old age or from injuries and you had no one to pass your legacy onto."

"I am working on that part...the legacy part, I would firstly need to find somebody that likes me for me and not my vast amount of wealth that I have from the diamond dogs and from my jobs as a merc, but also would need to find the one that loves me back. And even then I would have to do the deed, hope to god that it actually works and then ensure that nothing bad happens to my family. The plan is a work in progress and I'll get back to you on it when all plays out flawlessly."

"And as for my plans for Griffonstone, well I think I will be staying here for a while since I don't have a map of the continent or of the kingdom and I would rather not just wander around aimlessly and eventually die of starvation in the wilderness. Maybe I should open up a flower shop or something."

The king just gave me a look of 'Really?' and he wasn't alone on it either, about every other guard in the room was giving me the same stare.

"Are you being serious or are you joking?" The king's brow was raised a few inches, apparently he was thinking that I was joking because I doubt even a griffon would want to tend to flowers as their carrier in life. Maybe if they were farmers then it would be a different story entirely and then it would be seen as a good thing.

"Joking, I don't even know how to run a flower shop, but I do know how to take care of flowers." Just add water, not too much or too little, pull the weeds from the garden, kill the zombies that show up, rinse and repeat.

"I am glad that you are joking, a flower shop is not something that a champion should work at unless it is for a favor...or your mate works there and you are offering her some assistance." Pah, yeah right, like I will ever have a wife that works in a flower shop...

I think I just cursed myself with that little mental outburst.

Shit.

"Eh, only reason why I know how to tend to the flowers is because my mother taught me how to maintain her garden while she was busy taking a nap."

"..."

"And I can care less about her garden but it did teach me about responsibility and something else...maybe it was how to take care of plants or was it how to be committed to a cause...eh can't remember." I said as I leaned back a bit in my seat, my back was killing me and it needs a good long rest, the same with me cause I am tired as all hell.

And as time went on a servant or waiter came into the dining hall and took our orders, I just wanted some cooked meat and bread, Scrawny wanted meat with a bone attached to it (I wonder why) and the king wanted a roasted fish. Just the fish, nothing else, seems like the king is reasonable enough to not ask for an extravagant dinner when the rest of the city is in the gutter, but now with the idol's return I can already bet that everything will go back to normal.

We eventually came back to our conversation and it somehow ended up to how much gold I was expecting to be paid with for taking on the job from the elderly griffon and I had this to say.

"Well at least I can safely say that even if I didn't get paid from this job from Grandpa Gruff I can still live a comfortable life from all of the gold that I stole from the diamond dog alpha when I was in his vault." I said as I grabbed my backpack, opened the first zipper and dumped onto the table the entirety of contents onto the table for everyone to see.

What was supposed to be the sounds of ten pounds of gold coins and a laptop landing haphazardly onto the table turned out to be the sounds of something a hell of a lot rougher and infinitely cheaper than gold and a now one-of-a-kind laptop landing on the table.

Fearing of what I will find on the table I slowly opened my eyes and even slower I looked down to see not the ten pounds of gold coins laying on the table, spinning in place or rolling over the edge of the table onto the floor, nor did I see my laptop laying on top of the pile of ill gotten but rightfully owed loot.

Instead sitting on the table was a pile of rocks of varying sizes and a single note on top of it all.

Grabbing the note from the pile of rubble I slowly brought it to my face before reading it and as I do I can feel my blood begin to boil and my inner rage start to bang and clash against its cage as it detects my inner most desire to end some assholes life.

"Greetings Mr. Wilkinson, I am sure that by now that you are back in Griffonstone handing the Idol of Boreas to our good king and are now resting in a room given to you by our most royal and loyal of kings. And just now you must be thinking as to what has happened to all of your gold that you have earned from your job and also that ancient magical tablet that you were carrying with you inside your improvised saddlebags. I am sorry to say this but I just robbed you of everything you own and also that you are carrying a fake idol. Looks like you are about to be executed for bringing a fake idol to the king, so sorry for this friend.
With Warm Regards, A Friend."

Looking up to face the king I can only stare dead at his crown, I fear that if I looked into his eyes he would think that I was about to do something that I would come to regret to him, instead it was something completely different.

I was sitting in my seat, shaking in it to the point that if I had a soda can in my hands it would explode violently when opened and at this point it would also be scalding hot.

"Sir Ian? Are you alright, what did the message say?" The king asked me as I felt my blood begin to boil over, my left eye twitching violently and a small amount of frothy foam was escaping from my lips as I felt my brain snap.

Without missing a beat I stood up, turned to face the exit and with also the one guard standing at attention. Once I was next to the guard I decked him right in the face, relieved him of his sword and continued on my way. The guard I knocked out only had a second to defend himself but he couldn't because he saw on my face the unbridled promise of death as he saw a skull and crossbones appear on my eyes for a moment before being knocked out cold on the ground.

The other guards in the room immediately rushed to his aid while the rest ran in pursuit of me but they were stopped when their king told them to not do so.

They returned to their posts while two of the guards picked up their unconscious friend and carried him to the infirmary, leaving the lone diamond dog and the king in the dining hall.

The two stared at the note on the table for a second before the king picked it up and began to read it, muttering everything that was written on it softly before reading the small addendum that was attached to the note before he too started to shake in his seat.

"And remember to not tell the king about me, or else I may just decide to send the princess back to him in a far worse condition than she was in when she left the warrens.

There, chapter finish, my god why did it take me this long to finish this one? Why!

Oh right, Stellaris: Utopia, thats why.