Griffonstone lies upon a mountain at its center and its outskirts lie upon its surrounding mountains and hills.

Between us and that gryphon-centric city is a forest that is filled with wild animals, dangerous plants, unknown terrain and possibly bandits and thieves.

I don't know what we will encounter but I can safely say that with the six gryphon guards that have armed themselves with discarded diamond dog weapons, a diamond dog with a serrated rusty saw-curved sword and myself with two blunt flatblades that we are fully capable of defending ourselves from harm that may come to us.

Our wounded comrade, a minotaur who goes by the name of Jorvious Will, was mumbling something about his son and that he is sorry, sorry for what I don't know but if he is a father and he is sorry about something than I can only speculate that this guy probably took a too hard of a stance on something and it caused a split between the two. That or maybe they are brothers and he is sorry for stealing his girlfriend or whatever, not like it applies to me anyways...or anymore for that matter.

'Fuck this forest, this has some serial killer shit written all over it. If we discover an abandoned shack in the middle of this stink hole than I am leaving as fast as my legs can carry me, with or without the gryphons and anyone else that is too slow to catch up.'

As we trudged through the foliage of the forest for the first hour we noticed how nice and peaceful it is, there was a few birds here and there and they were chirping happily, forest critters were running around and being wild animals doing whatever it is that they are supposed to do. I even saw a bear with a salmon in its mouth as it lumbered on by, either failing to notice us or just not giving two shits about our entourage it kept on going, I thank the gods it didn't think of me as a snack because I don't think I can live with myself if I ever got eaten by a bear.

It was the second hour of our walk back to Griffonstone that we decided to take a small break, well the break was more so for the gryphons as they haven't seen the light of day in however long they were stuck beneath the earth along with being denied access of clean air, actual food (meat from three squirrels, damn gryphons are efficient hunters) and also enough room to stretch their wings and legs.

While everyone else was stretching and getting used to being outside and free again, I was just trying to dust myself off all the while going behind a tree to take a piss, and seeing how there are countless trees let alone just as many bushes to hide behind I duck out of sight while doing my deed. While I was releasing the floodgates and draining the pipes I kept my ears open as I tried to hear over my semi-loud piss stream but as I strained to hear what was going on around me I started to go off-target and started to piss on the floor and it started to get on my shoes which forced me to get back on target all the while fuming at myself.

Soon after I was done taking my piss I shook myself off, looked around to make sure no one was around then proceeded to walk around the camp and see what exactly I might be dealing with to better grasp the situation we are in.

We had enough food to last one, maybe two days tops if we rationed it out to slim pickings, we got a wounded minotaur that is more than likely has a wound that is turning septic, and lastly we are in the middle of a forest with feral beasts around every corner.

In all the odds of us coming out alive is fairly low, but I am optimistic enough to believe we got a fifty-fifty chance of getting through alive.

During this moment respite from our march towards home base I was busy cracking my back by bending backwards just enough to feel my spine pop and boy does that feeling of relief feel so damn good! It is like the weight of the world has been lifted from shoulders for the barest of moments, sadly it all came back to me the moment I stared at everyone around me as reality sank in and I realized that life sucks and that it just kicked me in the balls full force.

Seriously, I had just moments ago back in the cave that I was no longer on Earth, Middle Earth (would have been sweet to be honest) nor was it even Eorzea (fuck yea cat people!) but as my mother once said 'life sucks, deal with the cards you are dealt and rise through the bullshit'. I took these words to heart and I made up my mind back there that if I am to be stuck in this world till the day I die, then I am going to alter it for the better in my own image or as close to my image as I can get it to. I got a laptop, it has games, I can take from those games to help these obvious savages by giving them the gift of knowledge.

How effective will this be? Well about as effective as a random number generator giving you the exact number you were thinking of on your first click. I know that most of my games stored on this piece of crap are either sci-fi themed or are fantasy-setting themed, either of the two probably won't work but if I can somehow get them to, then these gryphons (or whatever else out there if these birds fuck me over) will be steamrolling over everything in their path.

Assuming they don't abuse said gift cause after all, abusing the gift from what many will say is a gift from god (my laptop not me) will eventually be smacked down by said god and send to hell for all eternity.

I was eventually pulled from my thoughts when my dog friend poked me in the cheek with his finger and when I came out from my musing he pointed past me and when I looked it turned out to be the gryphon princess along with her entourage, all ready to go.

"I take it that you enjoyed your temporary reprieve." The gryphons all nodded at me and when I turned my attention to our passed out minotaur I saw that he was still out cold but he appeared to have gotten slightly better if his darkening fur color was of any clear indication.

Guess that old saying is true, clean fresh air can do wonders for everyone.

"Good, because I can't tell how far away we are from the base of the mountain Griffonstone is perched up on so we are gonna be walking for a long time. I hope all of you are either comfortable with walking cause this going to suck, you gryphons can fly or hover beside us to save yourself some aching paws. Just do whatever feels best and don't tire yourself out." I said as the guards all shook themselves free of any loose feathers as they get themselves back in proper order.

That and I rather not have to keep stopping and going because they keep tiring themselves out, it gets kinda annoying when the group has to take several unnecessary pit stops because they tucker themselves out.

And so we went back to walking, none of the guards bothered to test their wings to see if they are capable of flying but for the most part it wasn't necessary at the moment.

Our walking continued for the better part of the day until darkness fell and the moon was rising off in the distance. I set up camp along with three other gryphons as the rest set up a sentry pattern to make sure that we don't get ambushed by the local wildlife or any roughneck thieves that may be lingering outside our line of sight.

My diamond dog friend was busy starting a fire by striking two rocks together over a pile of sticks and dead leaves, and for the moment it looked like no progress was being made but after three minutes of failure it finally kicked in and a series of sparks left the rocks and ignited the dead foliage, granting life to the flames. The dog was happy at his achievement of making fire for what might be the first time that he sat right in front of it as it slowly consumed the sticks as the flames grew larger by the minute.

With no tents to sleep in and no bedrolls to lay on we were pretty much sleeping on dirt, rocks, grass and sticks but I was fine with it. It wasn't the most comfortable thing to be sleeping on but when your grandfather conscripts your ass into the boy scouts, you pretty much learn how to sleep on literally and virtually anything, hell you even learn how to sleep through anything, including earthquakes, loud snoring and even a rolling thunderstorm!

As we set up camp and I set down my backpack beside me as I took stock of what we got currently available to us in terms of food and water and it wasn't in the best of conditions. Even though I have received five pounds of chopped of sliced salted meat from the butcher back in the dog warrens, it won't be enough for all eight or nine of us (don't know if mino's can eat meat) and even if I rationed it in small amounts it still won't last us long and as for water...we have none. Whatever water skins I smuggled off from KO'd dogs they are empty as fuck and smell like shit, so these things need a thorough washing before they can grace one's lips with cool refreshing aqua cola without causing the drinker to face explosive diarrhea.

I am going to have to tell everyone our current food n water situation by tomorrow morning and hopefully we can find a nearby river for our skins and maybe some stupid wildlife for food (seeing how ponies are capable of talking, minotaur's and gryphons are real, I am not taking any chances that any or all animals are capable of speech and sentience).

Now that is out of the way I went and pulled out the ancient relic that the gryphons were out looking for and I must say now that I can see it a slightly more favorable light of a campfire, I can see why they wanted it back so badly.

This thing was made out of solid gold, pure gold I might add, and I must say this thing should be feeling as heavy as a dying sun but when I hold it, the bloody thing feels as light as a cheap cellphone missing its battery pack. I do not know when this happened or how it happened but when I first picked this thing up back in the abyss it was like I was trying to remove Excalibur from the rock with one hand and that hand was missing a few fingers and that it had suffered from muscular atrophy, and back when it was in the dog's room, it was lighter than it last was but still had some weight to it but now its unnaturally weightless. I don't know if there is some sort of ancient arcane magic at work on this artifact or maybe I am just blessed with awesome, or perhaps this artifact decided that it wanted to go home and it wasn't going to be getting their anytime soon if it weighed like an anvil.

As I look at this relic my eyes saw what must be runes carved into the gold base, both inside of the hollowed-out area and on the outside as well, and both sides seemed to be absolutely riddled with the stuff as it seemed to blend in together as I couldn't find or make heads or tails of where it begins and ends. All I know is that this thing is ancient, its important, made of gold, and it will make me a very rich man if I give it back to the gryphons.

I traced a finger along one of the runes, wondering what it says because I can't read gryphon let alone ancient gryphon, but whatever this thing has to say about this thing I sure hope it is about its creation or its history, otherwise if its about some curse some other unholy thing than I am letting someone else carry this back.

Following no particular line in general I just followed it around, bored out of my mind and also wondering as to why someone thought it would be a good idea to carve some words on the inside of this relic when it is going to be hard to read when there is a strange orb and more gold on top of it? I mean really, who's bright idea was it for this thing to even be made? A guy fresh off the boat at crafting school or something?

Seriously.

With my eyes tracing the runes I noticed out from the corner of my eye the gryphon princess making her way over to me, two of her guards were staring in my general direction but were for the most part staying put and are just looking at me. Fine by me, I don't want to be near them anyways let alone be near them while they sharpen their talons on rocks and bark, I am not gonna be their cutting board.

"It's beautiful, isn't it." The princess of gryphons said as she stares at the idol in my hands.

"Yeah, it is, expertly crafted, strange archaic runes carved into it, and it radiates some sort of energy or power from its core. Whatever this thing really is, it is safe to say that this thing needs to be contained and studied because there is no way in hell this thing should be this light as it currently is or was so heavy when I first lifted it from the abyss." I said back as I rotated it around, my eyes scanning the well-detailed surface.

"What do you mean?" Tilting her head to the side, confused by what I said.

"Look, when I first found this thing it was at the bottom the damn chasm that it was dropped in and when I bent down to pick it up it weighed nearly as heavy as that minotaur over there. And back there in the dog warrens in the alpha's room, when I nicked this while he was away it weighed about as much as a five pound weight, now it weight about as heavy as an apple, and that shouldn't be possible." I said as I rolled the relic around between my hands, the gold gryphon skull gleamed in the dull light of the campfire but for the most part it was gleaming with an odd shine that shouldn't be there.

Perhaps this thing really is magical in nature, or is just really, really well polished with secret oils n shit.

"And then there is the whole 'with this thing lost your kingdom started to fall apart' thing, how does losing this thing cause all of that to happen? Why not just make a replica and put it on the pedestal while people look for the real one?" I mean that is what I would have done, make a fake and put it where the real one was last seen.

That was when I felt a feathery wing wrap itself around my shoulders as I felt the princess of gryphons sit beside me and for a moment I thought that something awesome was about to happen but instead all I get is a lecturing.

"Well my gryphon friend in disguise, let me regale you as to why we are downtrodden without the idol. When we gryphons first established ourselves our very first kingdom, this idol was at the seat of our power at all times, resting atop the throne and it granted the kings of old the ability to cast magic without the use of a focused medium or an enchanted crystal. Because of this we gryphons have been keeping the idol safe for countless centuries, ensuring that the next line for the throne will have the power to defend their kingdom from outside forces along with those that come from within be it domestic or feral. Eventually the idol was moved away from the throne because all it would take was some ambitious assassin to slay the king and queen before swiping the idol from the throne, so we had it moved to a vault that rests above the throne room, hidden from prying eyes...or so we thought."

"And you already know of the gods-damned beast that lay waste to our home and stole the idol right from the vault and then it fled from Griffonstone before being trapped and killed at the abyss. Sadly we weren't fast enough to catch the idol before it fell out of reach and was gone from our sight. That is until now, you retrieved the idol and it would seem that you are leeching some of its power for yourself. I do not know how this is happening or why it is letting it happen but all I can say is that it has either chosen you to be next in line, or that it is just giving you a gift for rescuing it from the abyss."

"What do you mean it has chosen me? Are you saying that this hunk of metal and stone is alive?" I asked in a doubting manner, cause I mean there is no way a hunk of metal is alive, this isn't Lord of the Rings and this relic is not the evil ring of power.

"Yes, it is. It contains the souls of past kings and queens and each time a new one is crowned, they commune with the idol to seek their blessings and grant them their advice and assistance whenever they need it. But you my friend...I do not know why they are helping you but it must be a sign of something greater at work here." I stand corrected as the gryphon princess says in a haughty tone, apparently not liking it that I doubted her words.

"Yeah, probably...that or they just saw me as their only way out from that dump and needed me to get them out of there." I muttered quietly as I mulled over what she said, if this thing was truly trying to help me then it is doing a shit job.

"You are strangely pessimistic about this, any other gryphon would be ecstatic, hells they would even be honored to be blessed by the rulers of old even if it just for a little bit to carry them home."

"So I am just a glorified parcel carrier then?" A glorified parcel carrier who has a chance of getting rich!

"Don't put it like that, you should feel honored that they even gave you their gift of power when you touched it the first time."

"Oh I do feel honored, I just wish it doesn't feel like I am nothing more than a mailman delivering a package from point A to point B."

"You are not a mailhen, you are...whatever you say you are, but I sure as seven hells know that you are not a gryphon." And she sees right through my bullshit cover.

"How can you be so sure about that? For all you know the transfiguration potion I drank is lasting a week." And I try to keep up my bullshit cover story.

Sadly it doesn't work so well.

The princess of gryphons chuckled at what I said, I guess she finally saw through my bullshit and figured out the truth of it all.

"Please, you thought that little ploy back in the dog warrens was going to work on me? I played this game far longer than you ever have and let me tell you something." The princess said as she leaned closer to me before whispering into me ear as a puff of hot breath cascaded over the side of my face.

"I know you are not a gryphon as I would have smelled your scent by now, and you are definitely not a diamond dog as you lack their simple-mindedness along with their pungent odor, nor a minotaur as you lack their strength, speech pattern and also their clan insignia on your belt. And I know for sure that you are not a pony because those skittish creatures would never take on an assignment like this unless they are born outside of Equestria and are living on the borders of civilization. And as for being a zebra, that is a longshot seeing how they stick to their own boarders or their exiles stay close to something that is familiar to them...which just leaves the dragons but sadly they hate pretty much everything." Oh shit.

"Which leaves me with nothing." Ouch...she just singled me out so easily and to top it off she pretty much said that I match none of the other races be it in terms of scent, behavior, mannerisms and or even intelligence.

She saw right through my disguise and is now going for the kill.

"No, it leaves you as an anomaly, an anomaly that I want to know more of and what it is to better understand it." ...what?

"And what do you plan on doing about this anomaly?" Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me.

Scooting even closer to me to the point that she was pressing herself against me, I could feel her body heat and to top it off she nipped me in the neck before whispering to me again.

"I plan on knowing everything about this strange being and learning what he knows to better protect my kingdom when it is my turn to rule but for the time being I think I will just get comfortable with him and make this male my loyal friend so I can understand what the common folk think of both myself and how to improve the realm for the betterment of the common gryphons instead of the nobles." I don't know how to feel about this.

"You confuse me to no end sometimes." I think this is an elaborate and well made trap just waiting for me to spring it.

"I know, but be a good little pup and tell me all that I want to know when we get back to Griffonstone, I will make sure that father treats you well and not have you thrown into the dungeons for looking like a diamond dog. Now, do tell me who and what you are to make this deal possible." Hmm...I think I fucked up.

And in that moment, I thought that this was all an elaborate trap, and that this princess was just luring me into it with the possible promise of sex with royalty and also being set for life with possible diplomatic immunity.

And by god did I go for it! When will the chance of me getting to have sex with royalty ever come up for me ever again!

"Well if you want to get to know me better than you better start taking this seriously and stop with the chain yanking and teasing. If you want to truly know me then just be truthful and just maybe this one-of-a-kind being will grace you with the gift of knowledge and his very presence if you are not being a deceptive hen to him."

I looked down at the gryphoness and at that moment I realized that I fucked up.

How exactly did I fuck up you may ask?

She was staring right back at me, her feathers on her face were red from either anger or embarrassment for being caught, but it was also at that moment that I found that we were in the perfect sitting cuddling position and that I was one arm away from completing it. I reached around with my left arm, grabbed her by the meaty part of her rear leg and pulled her into my side which pressed her further into me as her beak barely dodged my throat and slid under my chin.

I nearly killed myself and it would have been the most unmanliness way for me to die, death by accidental throat slicing while cuddling.

The gryphoness made a squawking sound that easily reached the guards and they just stood and sat their staring at me, and instead of killing me on the spot, they just continued to stare at us and not doing a damn thing.

Is this my lucky day or were they told to not interfere with this...mating dance or whatever the fuck she is actually trying to accomplish?

And then I realized something else that day.

This is the second time I gave myself blue balls.

First it was with that butcher dog, I could have gotten laid there but with the thought of her being the one in charge and possibly breaking my pelvis and my dick...and now this princess is being the world's biggest tease.

At this rate my balls are going to explode.

The royal hen looked at me for a second before pulling back and stared me right in the eyes, her beak twitching slightly before speaking up again.

"Hmm, I was hoping my persistent teasing and leading would have you bending over backwards for me and make you come at my beck and call but it would seem you are much more resistant to my flirting and teasing than I thought. No matter, you will kneel to me in time and just maybe you might be worthy of laying your right to claim me, if you can prove yourself to my father which I doubt."

"Good to know that this was all a bloody tease-and-release for you, now I can direct my attention to other matters on hand." and with that said I pulled away from the cock teasing princess and made my way to the fire to warm myself up. As it turns out wearing nothing but a pants, shirt and hoodie does almost nothing to deter the cold weather that is this current season (my guess either Fall or Winter, both are cold seasons and neither of them are nice) and if we are to survive the night we will need more firewood.

Muttering to myself about how all of the hot girls are either bloody cock teasers, cheaters or outright taken, I thought that the only way I may ever find a girl that is both hot and loyal is astronomically low, I mean it is not even a whole percentage number, like maybe half a percentage if I am being honest. And seeing how I am stuck in this world then it means that I must choose one of the natives...and that spine shuddering tingle seems to be coming back again.

Thankfully before anything else can happen my dog friend decided to make his presence known to us when he returned to camp, and with the largest looking catfish I have ever seen. This catfish must be at least three feet long, a foot tall, and roughly a foot wide, and boy that thing looks god damn delicious.

I know my fishes and I must say that if I can carve that thing up right, it will be more than enough to feed all of us for the night.

Tonight we won't starve! Now if only we can solve our water situation.

After feasting on the catfish which just barely fed all of us, the minotaur ate his portion with gusto while the rest of us savored it, me more than the rest because I love fish, it is amazing and when prepared right it is a godsend and a blessing all in one. Only downside of this is that my breath now smells like fish and I don't have mouthwash nor toothpaste.

Oh well, I'll try and figure something out by tomorrow morning.

THE NEXT MORNING

I did not figure out a way to get rid of my case of fish breath and morning ass mouth.

My eyes cracked open to see that I was staring up at an open patch of forest, the daylight from the morning sun was breaching through the cracks and was shining right on my face, forcing me to sit up to avoid going blind.

With my body now waking up and my eyes wide open I saw that the gryphons were still asleep along with their princess who seemed to have passed out near my backpack and I am glad that she didn't open it because the zippers on it was still in the same position that I left them in.

Standing up and dusting myself off I walked over to the princess and relieved her of my backpack before strapping it onto my back and went around to make sure we are still secure in our surroundings.

The trees were still, the birds silent and the wind was gone, which left us all with a quiet forest and that usually means a scant number of things.

All of the wildlife is gone, there is a raging forest fire going on, a zombie plague is happening on or...

Before I could ponder further as to why the forest has suddenly gone quiet and empty, I heard a near silent thunk sound that was almost immediately followed by something landing in the ground right in front of my right foot.

Looking down I saw that an arrow has embedded itself into the dirt and that it was sticking in at a good forty-five degree angle two inches from my big toe. Kneeling down I removed it from the ground to inspect it and I saw that this was something I was dreading when it came to archery in this world.

The arrow was not a flat head, it was triangular and it was jagged, meaning that if it were to embed itself into my body, it would not only hurt like hell going in but if I were to remove it than it would be pain on a whole other level coming out. This thing was meant to maim and injure its target in the worst way possible, and I just so happened to be that target.

Looking back up I saw nothing out of the ordinary nor did I see a person holding a bow pointed at me, but when I stood up and to beat a hasty retreat back to camp I saw the very person who tried to off me.

It was a gryphon, I mean of course it was a gryphon, this is their land after all and I can guess that I am encroaching onto this one's land and they don't like it one bit.

"Look'it here boys! We got ourselves a stray dog!"

Good News and Bad News!

Good News: Still alive and writing but at a slower pace due to Resident Evil 7 and Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward

Bad News: Seems like I won't be going to college this season due to money being tight for me, better pray I get more work hours or else my ass might not get that degree in programming.