Shining Armor followed Twilight through the streets of Ponyville; as happy as he was to be spending time with her again, it was a bit unsettled at how much she seemed to have changed over the last few years. When he first arrived she was like the same old Twilight, predictable her responses down to the last detail, but when he told her he’d participated in a body swap, she didn’t instantly start bombarding him with questions about the schematics of the spell. Maybe she was actually starting to learn that classified meant classified… or maybe she had just gotten more subtle and she was going to try to lull him into a false sense of security while she concocted some situation where he would need to teach her the spell. Either way he was glad their first meeting hadn’t revolved around her pleading with him with her little puppy dog eyes to ‘give her her birthday present early’, ‘share his great wisdom’ or ‘stop shutting her out of his life’.

Twilight had changed, there was no doubt about that, and it probably had to do with these ‘friends’ she was so eager to show him. When she left Canterlot he had been worried that she might have trouble meeting new ponies. He knew that aside from Cadance, he had been her only real friend until she left for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and even there Shining Armor wasn't sure she’d established relationships except for those ponies who wanted her help with late projects, or with last minute studying for exams. Either way Shining Armor was glad to see what kind of friends Twilight had made in Ponyville.

Their first stop was along a row of houses between Ponyville and the Everfree Forest. Shining Armor followed Twilight along a country lane past an unusual number and variety of animals until eventually Twilight stopped at the base of a large tree and craned her neck up, “Fluttershy, I'd like you to meet my brother.”

There was no response, so Twilight tried again, “Fluttershy.”

Shining Armor was suddenly feeling very worried. He knew his sister had trouble making friends, but she hadn’t been the sort to form relationships with inanimate objects, “Fluttershy is a tree?” he asked slowly, dreading the answer.

“Shh,” whispered Twilight twitching her ears, “Listen carefully, can you hear her?”

“Twilight... are you alright?”

Maybe her moving to Ponyville hadn't been a good idea after all. Shining Armor was about to suggest they go back to the library when he thought he heard a small voice. “H-hello.”

“Com'on down Fluttershy, there's somepony I want you to meet” Twilight was still looking up the tree.

Relief flooded over Shining Armor as he saw a real cream colored pegasus pony with a pink mane, flutter down from somewhere in the upper branches and hide behind Twilight.

“Fluttershy, this is Shining Armor, Shining Armor this is Fluttershy” said Twilight proudly.

“Pleased to meet you” said Shining Armor extending a hoof in greeting.

The pale yellow pegasus cautiously crept forward to accept his hoof shake, but just as she got close a squirrel sneezed behind Shining Armor, making her jump and retreat behind Twilight again. “It's OK Fluttershy, this is my brother from Canterlot, he just looks different because he had a body swap with somepony else.”

The cream pegasus looked over Twilight's back and gave a weak smile, “Hello.” she whispered.

“She's just a little shy.” said Twilight. Just then the squirrel gave another sneeze and Fluttershy bolted into a nearby cottage. “She really can be quite brave when you get to know her.” insisted Twilight sounding embarrassed.

Shining Armor didn't know how to respond. He was thinking of asking if they should return later when suddenly Fluttershy came running back, this time holding a box of the smallest tissues he had ever seen. Momentarily ignoring both Twilight and Shining Armor, Fluttershy ran over to the squirrel who had sneezed and offered it the box “There you go Appleseed,” she said softly, “Remember, you should cover your mouth when you sneeze, otherwise all your little squirrel friends might get your cold, and then I would have to put you all in bed for a week.” Much to Shining Armor's suprise, the squirrel snatched a tissue from the box and blew its nose like it knew what tissues were for. Then it dropped the tissue and hugged Fluttershy around one of her legs. “You’re welcome Appleseed,” she laughed.

“Fluttershy, do you want to show my brother some of your animals?” asked Twilight with a slight tinge of impatience.

“Oh, of course Twilight, if he wants to I mean.”

“Sounds great,” said Shining Armor, still rather confused and amazed after the sight of a squirrel knowing how to use a tissue, “I don't see a lot of animals in Canterlot.”

“Don't see a lot of animals?” exclaimed Fluttershy compassionately, “You poor, poor pony! Oh, I have so much to show you. Let me get the bird choir for you; we’ve recently had a marvelous new addition—a Scarlet Tanager named Taliesin who has the most beautiful voice you ever heard. Come this way.”

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Version 1

After the cupcake eating contest (which Pinkie won) the three ponies fell to chatting until Shining Armor mentioned how strange it was suddenly having red fur instead of white. Twilight obliged by dumping a sack of flour over him, he laughed, and responded by dumping two sacks over her. Pinkie joined in and soon all three were fighting with whatever baking goods they could find. “Open the oven, Pinkie” Shining Armor called, lifting his sister (who was squealing too much to resist), almost to the ceiling and smearing her neck and mane with strawberry jam “this cake needs to bake about twenty minutes on high heat before she'll be ready to eat.” When Mr. and Mrs. Cake got home they found three white ponies rolling on the ground, laughing and sneezing hysterically. They made each of the three friends pay for a cake, saying they had chosen to wear their cakes instead of eat them, and then they were made to clean up the mess; but they made a game of it so nopony minded.

Cleaning up the hard wooden benches and floors of Sugar Cube Corner was fairly easy. Cleaning up three ponies covered in flour, jam, peanut butter, chocolate, custard, and sprinkles, on the other hoof; that was more difficult. Pinkie was somehow able to clean herself up in a few seconds with her tongue, and offered to clean Twilight and Shining Armor the same way... they refused. Instead the unicorn siblings opted for washing up in the river, which was harder than it sounded. The moving water was useful for wiping off loose bits of food, but it turned the flour to dough which got stuck deep in their manes and coats, making it more difficult to get off. Rolling in the long grass helped loosen the sticky bits, but only the top layer became loose enough to wash off, meaning both ponies had to complete four or five cycles of swimming in the river and rolling in the tall grass before they were clean.

Version 2

After the cupcake eating contest (which Pinkie won) the three ponies fell to casual talk until Shining Armor mentioned how he missed having white fur. Pinkie obliged by dumping a sack of flour over him. Having somehow concluded that a spontaneous food fight had begun, Pinkie bounced over to a cabinet for more supplies and began flinging them onto the table, back flipped back to the table, hoisted a jar of jam and flung its contents at Twilight only to have the jam caught in midair by Shining Armor’s telekinesis who was looking thoroughly confused. That’s when it hit Twilight; Shining Armor was here to relax from keeping the shield up, he was here to wind down, that meant he needed to do something fun.

Twilight picked the empty jar out of Pinkie’s hoof and held it under the jam, then gently took the jam out of Shining Armor’s grip, but instead of putting it back in the jar she proceeded to splatter it over his coat. Shining Armor looked at her like she’d gone mad, but by this time Pinkie was already coming at him with a carton of custard, singing something that sounded like a mixture between a war chant, a nursery rhyme and a goose beat boxing. It took them a few minutes, but eventually, something in Shining Armor snapped.

When Mr. and Mrs. Cake got home that day the store was… a mess, to say nothing of the three ponies who by now had learned that if most surfaces were covered in some sort of baking good, and if they were covered in the same, it was fairly easy to blend in to your surroundings in improvised urban camouflage. Then came the part where they told Shining Armor that Pinkie Pie didn’t actually own the store but just worked there, then came the task of cleaning the store up and paying for wasted product.

Version 3

After an extended farewell to Fluttershy and her collection of animals, Twilight took Shining Armor back to Ponyville to Sugar Cube Corner for lunch. Pinkie squealed with delight at finally meeting Twilight's brother and asked a seemingly unending barrage of questions about what it felt like to be in somepony else's body, which Shining Armor answered as best he could; (Though some of the questions about the possibility of swapping bodies with pine-cones or baby crocodiles left him a bit speechless.) After that, Pinkie danced on the table and sang a song that began as a welcome for Shining Armor, then turned into some sort of idea for a party where everypony swapped bodies with each other, then into something that neither Twilight nor Shining Armor quite understood, but had something to do with everypony in the world swapping bodies all the time and never having the same body for more than one day. It was weird. When Pinkie was finally done, she ordered a cupcake eating contest in honor of Shining Armor and the new body swapping utopia his coming heralded. Twilight and Shining Armor were glad for the cupcakes, at least they got Pinkie's mind off body changing.

Twilight was disappointed with how agitated Shining armor seemed around Pinkie and with how quickly he suggested leaving after the cup cakes. This was meant to be a holiday for Shining Armor; she had hoped that the Element of Laughter would be able to help in his recovery, as laughter was one of the best remedies for stress there was, but instead Pinkie had just made him more agitated. Twilight knew she needed to do something to loosen him up; especially if he was going to one of Pinkie’s parties in a few days. (Pinkie had wanted to hold a welcome party for him that evening, but Shining Armor convinced her to wait for a few days, and only by agreeing to the reluctant compromise that she could introduce him as being Twilight’s circus performing, bull fighting, third cousin from Haywaii.)

Outside Sugarcube Corner, Twilight noticed that Shining Armor had stopped and was eyeing some distant trees suspiciously, like he thought they were about to attack him. He checked the position of the sun and looked back to the clock tower and then back to the trees. “I thought the Everfree Forest was only on the south side of Ponyville.”

“That's Whitetail Wood, it’s perfectly safe, the plants are controlled by the earth ponies and the weather is controlled by pegasi, like normal.” A wave of nostalgia passed through Twilight’s gut at the same moment an idea flew into her brain, “Hey B.B., do you remember how we used to play hide and seek in Canterlot gardens when we were kids?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Twilight suddenly levitated a bulb of cold water from a nearby fountain and splashed it over Shining Armor, “You’re it!”

Shining Armor blinked the water out of his eyes and opened them just in time to see his sister disappear into the dense foliage. He smiled, picked up some loose leaves and bits of dirt to pay her back with, and then gave her a twenty second head start.

How could they have done this to her!? How could they have let Dash spend her entire life dreaming about becoming one of them and then turn out to be so bitter in real life. The most merciful thing they could have done would have been to kill her the day after she joined, that way at least she could have died happy. But the monsters had let her live, they had made her one of them and now she had become a part of their lie!

With a scream of frustration Dash lunged at Fire Streak, wrapping her hooves around his throat and squeezing the life out of him as she bashed his skull repeatedly against a rock, each blow drawing more blood as it poured down his face past his bulging, fish-like eyes. The other Wonderbolts tried to drag her off him, but she turned on them, tearing their wings off with her bare hooves and throwing them head first into trees where they made a satisfying “crack!” before falling limp and lifeless to the ground. A few of them did the smartest thing they had done since they met her and tried to run, flying away as fast as their wings would carry them, but Dash went after them, ripping a ten foot branch off one of the trees and using it as a club to bat each of them out of the sky with flawless precision, to the delighted cheers of Apple Bloom.

She no longer had a flight team but that wouldn't matter soon. She would hire Twilight to build her a new flight team, of robots! Android pegasi who would always put the fans first, would wouldn't be afraid to try new routines, wouldn't waste their money buying truckloads of their own merchandise,  and best of all, she'd have Twilight make her a remote control for them with a mute button on it! She could fold them all up at night and put them in a box under her bed where they'd be out of the way for her and Storm.

Ever so slowly, Dash opened her eyes; and the grin she had been wearing the last thirty seconds vanished, when she saw that all the Wonderbolts were still there, in a line looking back at her with their typical stupid expressions.

"You're brother has an amazing lung capacity!" grinned Rainbow after Twilight had fallen back from Shining Armor's side.

"Well I suppose it's really Storm's lung capacity with the body swap and all."

Rainbow missed a step as a slight glint entered her eyes, "Even better."

They told Straight Hack… almost everything. Storm kept telling himself that one day he would tell him everything, but of the five ponies and one griffon that they had killed in their two years living off the street, one of them had been innocent. They trusted Straight Hack not to tell anyone what they’d done, but didn’t want to incriminate him as a silent accomplice if anyone found out what they had done, found them living with Straight Hack.

The winter before Straight Hack; the train lines had frozen, leaving them stranded for over a week in Port Mane. After exhausting the town’s dumpsters on the second night, they resorted to begging; but this proved equally fruitless. There’d been a bakery there, run by an older earth pony stallion who had seemed nice and smiled at them when they came in, but when he learned they didn’t have any money only gave them one hot cross bun to share.

That the heating in the shop had been on minimum, suggested that the stallion wasn’t rich and didn’t have much to spare; but he had so much more than they did, and after looking around Storm believed stealing from that shop had the lowest likelihood of getting caught. Storm broke in through the window around midnight and began filling his improvised saddlebags bags with as much food as he could carry. He was almost finished when the lights went on and the baker stallion was coming for him. Storm jumped out the window he had come in and began running. The stallion came after him, calling for him to stop, but Storm knew better; he wouldn’t go through being beaten for stealing again.

With the snow making everything white it was hard to find a place to hide, but Storm was quick and had almost outran him, when Silver came out of nowhere and used her magic to pelt a jagged rock at the stallion’s head. The stallion went down and began flailing; they should have run, but Storm knew the baker had seen both their faces and if they couldn’t get out of the city that night, police might come looking for them the next day, and they weren’t the sort of ponies that the world would let get away with stealing.

They just wanted to live.

Thinking and acting in the same moment; Storm turned on the stallion, drew his knife and began stabbing him with untrained blows, trying to find his heart in that giant earthpony chest. It couldn’t have lasted for more than a minute; but the stallion put up a fight that made it feel like a war. Silver held him down and tried to keep him quiet; when a few kicks to the head didn’t stop his cursing, she tried stuffing his mouth with snow, then smothering him with her belly and eventually stuffing her hoof down his throat right up to her shoulder; that worked.

When the stallion stopped kicking the orphans looked at each other; realizing what they had done. They stripped the stallion the jacket he no longer needed, disappointed to find only four bits in the pocket, than set to getting rid of the body. He was too heavy for them carry, but the ice was slippery and so they dragged him to the river where they combined their magic’s to melt a hole in the ice large enough to slide the body through. Three days later, when the trains were running and they were about to leave; they found a newspaper saying a local baker had gone missing, leaving behind a wife and three children.

They ate the newspaper.

A lot of strange stuff was said about Zecora, and about what she did in her spare time. One subject of interest is that despite having been in the forest for decades, (no one was quite sure how many) she had never been in any romantic relationship that anyone knew of… at least… no one had ever been in a relationship with her and lived to tell the tale. One story Twilight heard twice was that Zecora was part spider, and after mating, cooked stallions into stews and ate them. Another issue was that apparently, making potions was just one of many jobs Zecora did to help the Rangers, for which she was paid a fortune by the royal crown. Estimates of her exact salary varied wildly, from six digits to eight, while speculation on what she did with her money was even wilder.

Theories ranged from the mundane such as saving it or sending it to her family, (whoever they were), to bizarre legends of feeding it to her dragon lover(s) and/or their half-breed child(ren); possibly, to fatten them up before she ate them too. (Some theories were even weirder.) The only consistent rumor was that she employed selected elite Rangers, sworn to secrecy, to run personal 'errands' for her in between tours, but even this couldn't be verified by any real evidence.

Next Chapter: Scenes that I planned; but cut out before they were ever posted Estimated time remaining: 45 Minutes