They came just after dinner, which wasn't that great. I wished I still had some sugar left to sprinkle on it. I mean, it wasn't awful, it just wasn't... I bet they had the same pony making the food for all the ponies in here, and that's a lot of work. They're probably overtired and bored and it shows in their food. Poor guy or girl. Maybe after we finished whatever we were going to do, I'd ask about helping out around the kitchen. Even if I couldn't help with the human stuff, I could brighten up the day for all the ponies.

I turned up to look at the doctor walking with me. "Hey, could I help out with cooking breakfast for the ponies tomorrow?"

He looked surprised. "I can ask about it, but that's not my decision.Were you a cook before?"

The other doctor nudged him lightly. "You'll get plenty of questions in a moment. We're all curious about you, so let's save them for when we're being recorded."

"Recorded" I asked just before I hopped up onto my hind legs and clapped my hooves. "Oh, you have memory crystals?"

"Not exactly..." The first one adjusted the collar of his shirt. "It operates on magnetic tape."

Magnets and tape? How did that work? They got huge metal things up into the air without a single balloon, so I decided to trust the humans knew how magic worked on their world, and it wasn't Equestria. "Okey." We walked in a friendly silence. Well, mostly. I tried to bring things up with them, but they seemed kinda nervous and they really wanted me to be recorded before we got into the good stuff.

We arrived at a door that looked like almost every other door, though this one had a little sign beside it that said it was for psychiatrists. "What are those?"

One of the doctors knocked gently on the door. "Someone who specializes in the workings of the mind." He tapped his head. "Today we just want to get to know you, Pinkie-chan." Aw, that was a term of endearment. Maybe he wasn't as scared of me as I thought. I wagged my tail and smiled at him.

The door opened to reveal a woman that was smiling back at me. "Ah, hello Miss Pie. Please, come in. I am Doctor Nakamura, but you can just call me Rina." She gestured for me to come in, so I trotted in past her. She said something quietly to the other two, then closed the door. Click! It was locked, but I could see the lock. It was more of a privacy lock, what with the spinny part just out in the open.

She moved around the neat office and sat in a comfy looking chair. With a gesture at a couch across from it, she bade me to make myself comfortable. I hopped up and laid down on in it. It was as comfy as it looked. "Thanks. Nice place you have here, and nice to meet you, Rina... Chan?" Should I call her cute? She looked a little older, but I wasn't sure how all those worked just yet.

Rina looked amused. "Just Rina is fine, but I haven't been called that by a patient in quite a few years. What made you consider it?"

I was just happy I didn't offend her or anything. "You look pretty as humans go, and I thought that was the polite thing to say."

She nodded lightly. "We can go into that later, but for now, just call people by their name, last name unless they give you permission to use their first name, as I have." She offered a hand towards me. "They tell me you are more used to American customs?"

I reached out a hoof and set it in her hand lightly, assuming she wanted a shake. She gently wrapped her fingers around and gave a little one and I giggled. "Ponies actually just knock them together, back where I'm from, but pressing them together and going up and down happens a lot too."

"I see, interesting." She smiled gently. "Pinkie, tell me how you came to be here, from your home world?"

I put both of my forehooves in front of me and set my head on them. "How far back do you want to go? 'Cause my friends usually get annoyed when I start with my foal years."

She smiled that patient smile. "Let's begin the day before you arrived here, on Earth. What were you doing?"

That was a lot easier. "I was traveling with some new friends. They know how to go from here--" I wobbled a hoof around. "To my home, and my friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle, was trying to help them out, but she's a princess, so she can't go running off to another world. Well, actually, I guess she does do that, but she didn't this time, because I wanted a turn."

She looked a little confused at my words. "You have a princess for a friend? Is she a pony, like you?"

"You betcha!" I sat up and began to trace an outline of her in the air. "She's a bit taller than me, and purple, with these cool highlights in her mane and tail. She wears hers straight and smooth, and her cutie mark is a star with smaller stars around it."

"And a cutie mark is?"

I pointed at the balloons on my flank. "Here. It shows our talents and our destiny. I like making ponies smile! That's what I was meant to do. Twilight is good at magic, but also the strength of her friends. She has five stars around her star, for us five good friends, and she had it before she even met us."

She tapped a pen against a clipboard, looking curious. "So you believe strongly in predestiny?"

That felt like a silly question. "Hard to argue with it. I mean, it happens right in front of us. When a pony is named, it's a little slice of predestiny right there. There are very few ponies that don't fit their name. Do you?"

She shook her head a little. "I'm afraid I don't share that belief, Miss--"

I cut in, "Just Pinkie's fine, or Pinkie-chan if you like."

She smiled gently. "Alright, Pinkie-chan. I, and many others, believe a person can achieve what they want through diligence, study, practice, and an unwavering work ethic. Talent helps, of course, but the other parts are more important in the end. There is no shortage of people talented in some matter they never truly apply their all to, while someone with mediocre talent becomes extraordinary because they truly dedicate themselves."

That sort of made sense and I nodded. "Humans don't have cutie marks, right?" She shook her head. "So it's up to you to find what you're really good at."

She leaned forward towards me. "Let's put that aside a moment. You left with permission of your princess friend, traveling with these others to help them. Where did they come from, exactly?"

I frowned a little. "I don't know, exactly, but they talked English, except one that talked English but a little something else I don't know the name of. They were all from here, this world... about a year from now."

Rina stood up suddenly, but forced herself to sit. "A year from now? Explain that, Pinkie?"

I put a hoof to my head. "Even I barely understand it. So, alright, my princess friend, Twilight. She was trying to reach another human world and it didn't work. She blasted this world with pony magic, but it was way crazy, and you can see how that works out." I tapped my chin. "Technically still working out." She looked horrified. "She didn't mean it! Honest!"

Rina shook her head slowly. "I... see." She didn't sound like she understood. "Please, Pinkie, do continue. Why are you not with these friends of yours? Why are you..." Her eyes narrowed a little. "A year in the past?" She sounded very doubtful of that.

I sat up on the couch like a human would and sighed. "I thought if I could hop out at the right time and stop the pony magic from ever reaching this world, everything would be better, but..." He lifted a hoof before letting it drop. "That predestiny thing came to haunt me. It was meant to happen, and I ended up being the reason it happened. I did block it, which made it go wild on Twilight's side. I gave it a great big shove, but instead of throwing it away from your world, I sent it right at it, a year in the past, and I fell after it. I woke up in America, where Emma found me."

Rina never stopped shaking her head. I was telling her something she was having a really hard time understanding, or believing, but she didn't say that. She scribbled a little on her pad. "Pinkie, I assume you believe completely in the words you have shared with me today?" I nodded quickly, of course I did. "Then I will accept them, for now. Time travel or not, let us assume you did what you said you did, tried to avert this disaster, failed, and were stranded here. That was very brave, if foolish, for you to attempt, if it was enough energy to bathe our entire world. Couldn't it have harmed you?"

I considered that. "I guess it kinda did in a way? I had this big stallion part--" She raised a brow. "Ask the others! They saw it! These guys surrounded me yesterday and they were all dancing and drumming and singing and... Poof! Gone. Probably for the best. I was meant to be a mare." I smiled at her. "You'd be pretty confused if you had extra parts, wouldn't you?"

She pinched at her nose. "Please understand. I want to hear everything you say, but so much of it strains my ability to simply accept it. We live in difficult to accept times, I admit." She sat back up and straightened herself out. "Forgive me. This is a lot for me to take in. You are a female of your people, are you not?"

I bobbed my head. "Sure am. You are too, right?" She nodded. "Humans are kinda easy. They have those things right there." I pointed at her chest and she colored.

"Pinkie, it is not polite to point at a woman's chest."

That confused me. "Why not? Are they a secret?" Worst secret ever!

She let out a little cough. "Of a sort, yes. They are there, but it is considered impolite to acknowledge them unless in private and with the woman's permission. Only romantic couples consider such things."

I was only more confused, at least until it hit me. "Oh! Like ponies don't usually talk about what's between their legs, even if it's right there in view all the time. Only really close ponies do that, and only in private."

Rina nodded. "Exactly so."

I raised a hoof. "Does... that mean you make foals with those?"

She looked stupefied a moment. "N-no, Pinkie. They are still considered a part of our sexuality, and we treat it about the same. Let's put that aside for now. If you know what is going on, what do you suggest we do about it? Your story suggests you think kindly of humans, do you not?"

I flashed a bright smile. "Of course I do! I mean, you're ponies too, just two-legged and you have less fur, but you don't deserve all of this. This is just awful." I sagged a little, thinking back to what I had seen earlier that day. "It's making some of you act awful too... I believe smiling and being nice helps make other ponies smile and be nice too, but being scared and angry can help make other ponies scared and angry too... I want to stop it."

She relaxed a little. I think she liked what I said. "Very good, Pinkie, but how do we stop it?"

That was a tough one. I thought I could stop it before it ever happened, but that didn't work out... "Twilight said something about the infection being 'burned out' of already ponies so they can't give it to humans and they could live together without problems."

Rina raised a fine brow. "Physically? Won't heat harm someone?"

I gave a little grunt of annoyance, not at her, but... "I think it was some kinda magic. I didn't really understand it." I threw out all four hooves. "I know it's still inside me. If we had a big smooch, you'd become a pony too." Why did that idea sound so good? She'd probably make a cute pony. We could be friends...

"Pinkie." I snapped out of my fog and focused back on her, as a person. "You looked very distracted. It's very important you remain focused. You're our best key to understanding what's going on."

I looked around the room a moment as I spoke, "I know that, and I want to help, honest. Thinking too much about how humans become ponies makes me want to be involved," I shrank a little. "In the bad way. You don't want to be a pony, do you, Rina?"

Rina shook her head. "I am quite comfortable with my humanity, if you please, Pinkie-chan. Tell me, assuming we accept your story at face value, what lies ahead for us."

Ooo, that was a good question... "Well, the place where they come from, where they talk English?"

"America?"

"Yes!" I sprang to my hooves. "They eventually gather some powerful ponies, who were humans. You call them princesses, just like we do. They're more powerful, and can control other ponies. They help calm down all the ponies and things start to calm down. Some of them were real meanies at first, but even they were eventually calmed down and became their friends. I didn't hear anything about here, in Japan." I sat down on my haunches. "We'll have to make sure history here is even better."

Rina caught onto something. "Tell me about these 'princesses', the ones that are from this world, not yours."

I nodded at her. "Sure. One of them was called William. He started as a normal, for you guys, human, but became a princess. He can feel other ponies around himself, and make them do things if he tries hard enough, but he isn't a meanie, so he only does that if it's really important. He didn't want to control ponies all day, and that's good. Imagine that, just bossing everypony around like that? That wouldn't be nice at all."

She made little scribbles on her pad and I wanted a peek, so I circled around Rina to have a look, but she suddenly pulled it up. "Pinkie, please sit down." I pouted, but she wasn't budging, so I went back to sitting on the couch. "Thank you. Considering your situation, I must ask you to always keep a distance between us. I don't mean that to be cruel or unkind, but you are dangerous."

I didn't like it, but I did understand it. I gave a little nod. "Alright... I'm sorry if I scared you."

Rina smiled gently. "You have been a polite guest, so far. Shall we continue? How would we recognize a 'princess' if there was one among the ponies?"

I tapped a chin, thinking back to William and his herd. "They're bigger than normal ponies. Some of them are a lot of kinds of ponies. In Equestria it's always the same three, with unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony. I'm an earth pony, by the way." I pointed at myself. "We're down to earth. I was raised on a rock farm, even!"

"You were a miner?"

I considered that. "Sort of. We tended the rocks and made the right ones grow for us, then we carefully got the gems and stuff out, and that's what we sold. It takes a lot of hard work to tend to rocks juuuust right. Sometimes I get envious of my sisters. They're so much better at it than I am! You should see Maud attack a pile of rocks, it's amazing! Other earth ponies like cooking, like me, and some farm, like Applejack and her family. We're a varied bunch. Hay, some like 'farming' ponies, like Mayor Mare, who keeps Ponyville running smoothly."

Rina sat up a little. "To consider bureaucracy and management a farming of a sort. That is a curious viewpoint, Pinkie. Of your friends, would you say any are large enough to be a princess?"

I considered. Hiro was powerful, but he wasn't that large for a stallion. Homer was adorable, but also pretty normal in size for a stallion. Emma was perfectly normally sized for a stallion, even if she was a mare where it counted. Oh! "Aiko's a bit tall, but she's that kind of unicorn. The thin and long unicorns are always a bit bigger looking than the other unicorns, but I'm not sure I'd qualify her as a princess. Besides, she's just a unicorn."

Rina made more of those notes. I really wanted to see them. "We'll keep a watch on her, discretely, and any other pony that appears larger than the others. This may prove quite pivotal, if it turns up a result. The sooner we can restore order, the better, for everyone involved." She smiled at me above her clipboard. "Thank you. You've been very patient and helpful with us. I'm certain you're feeling a little tired from being asked so many questions."

I waved a hoof at her. "I like talking. Did you have more questions? We can keep talking if you want to talk."

She smiled. "Pinkie-chan, I appreciate that you are willing, but my mind is quite full of what you've already told me." She set the clipboard aside. "Let's talk again, soon. Why don't you go to your friends?"

I pointed at her. "Aren't you a friend?"

The question seemed to surprise her. "We've only just met, Pinkie."

I smiled brightly. "And we know each other's names, and we hung out, and you don't hate me, and I think you're a nice person. So we're friends now. Normally I'd offer a party, but I'm out of supplies... Say! Do you know if I can help make dinner for the other ponies? I could make it nicer for everypony. I mean, I'd help make the human dinners too, but I don't want to... make more ponies." Oh... I did. A part of me really wanted to so very much. The thought of it made me feel weak in my knees. It'd be so much nicer to be surrounded by nice ponies. No! That wasn't being nice at all. I refocused myself and smiled at Rina.

Rina nodded. "The ponies are being serviced from a separate cantina. Come on, let's ask if you can lend a hand, or would that be hoof?"

I lifted a hoof at her. "Hoof, yep!" I followed after her once she unlocked the door, and we headed out into the hallway.

We walked through some double doors that swung back and forth and things seemed to change subtly. We were in the working part of the hospital, where they didn't expect patients. The floors felt a bit different, and the walls weren't as nicely tiled and wallpapered. It was made for serious ponies doing serious things. I'd have to bring Aiko's coltfriend down to the kitchen to liven the place up. Happy food comes from happy places!

A doctor stopped in front of us with a surprised expression. "What is it doing here?"

"She," said Rina with emphasis. "She volunteered to assist with meal duty for the ponies, and I feel this would be helpful for her, and our staff." The doctor let us pass but watched us until we turned a corner. I don't think he was happy with the idea.

We arrived at the kitchen. It was sized to work on big meals for lots of people! There were three workers, two guys and a girl. They were all surprised to see us. One of the guys stood up. "What's going on?"

Rina gestured back at me. "This is Pie Pinkie."

"Just Pinkie's fine." I waved at them with a hoof.

"She wants to help in the preparation of the meals for ponies. She knows how to cook, so she shouldn't be in the way."

I saw they had nice professional-looking stoves and ovens and moved for them quickly. "How are your supply of eggs, sugar, and flour? Oh! What were you planning to make today?" I didn't want to be rude. Maybe they had big plans! I would help, not just run them over.

Rina slipped away as we did a quick inventory. They had lots of raw stuff! But they didn't plan to use most of it. They showed me frozen veggies they were planning to cook up. Yuck, boring! I mean, a pony could live off of that, sure, but is that really living? "Alright, you guys make that, and I can make dessert?" I smiled, and they seemed happy with the arrangement.

I got to cracking eggs, adding milk, whisk whisk whisk whisk! I loved cooking. I especially loved imagining all the smiles homemade treats would bring to all the ponies. Right next to their healthy, but boring, veggies would be a nice little baked treat, each one with a little smilie face to remind them that somepony liked them, and wanted them to be happy. Just making them all already had me smiling. It would be like a little party, shared among all the ponies. Oh, it was a shame I wasn't allowed to help with the rest of the meals. The humans would have to find their own cheerful cook, I guessed.

Once I had made enough for everypony, I got to cleaning up. A messy kitchen was a sad kitchen, and somepony else had to work in there after me. It was just polite. I sang a cleaning song as I worked, swaying left and right as I scrubbed the pans and rinsed the whisk. The other chefs mostly ignored me. I don't think they were used to having a pony around, but they'd get used to it if I kept coming back, and then we could be friends! That'd be nice. I was already looking forward to it.

Author's Notes:

The vote was so close, I couldn't leave out the psychiatry part of things, even as Pinkie was gently milked for the knowledge she knew.

Her therapist would love to continue plumbing her pink mind, but what will the others think, or what will Pinkie do?
1: Pinkie goes looking on her own for a princess.
2: The upper ups find Pinkie's story wild and outrageous, and demand clarifications on a few things, with perhaps a bit more force to make it clear this is a serious matter.
3: Pinkie wants to go outside to all the humans waiting there and try to calm them all down, and is allowed to.
4: Pinkie wants to go outside to all the humans waiting there and try to calm them all down, and is denied. She spends the time trying to cheer up ponies instead.
5: They have a special guest for Pinkie tomorrow. They want to document the full change of a human into a pony, and invite Pinkie to change them completely where it can be recorded from start to end.