It’s dark... My head hurts... So tired...

I hear voices... So far away... Can’t tell what they’re saying... Head hurts...

“What is it?” The words sound unsure, but curious.

“I don’t know.” Quiet, soft... the voice is almost unheard.

“What do you mean? I thought you were an expert!” Curious voice, but angry... at what?

“But I’ve never seen anything like this before!”

“Do you think it’s sapient?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Where’d it come from, anyway?” A- another voice? Rude. Masculine. Jock?

“I don’t know that either, sadly.”

“Well, why don’t we jus’ wake ‘im up an’ find out?” Accent. Rough, sounds tired.

“No! It could be hurt, we should let it rest.”

“So we just sit here and wait for it to wake up? What if it’s dangerous?” Definitely jock.

“I... I think I’m willing to take that risk.” Sounds... afraid? Of what?

“I agree. Besides, it doesn’t look very dangerous.”

“Ah know appearances can be deceivin’ an’ all, but I have to admit, the thing looks kinda wimpy.”

“So do we tell the princesses?”

“I’ve sent a letter. I’m trying to study it for now.” Study what? What are they all talking about? Why can’t I see them? Why’s it so dark? Why can I barely hear what they say?

“It’s bald, skinny, and weird.”

“You can’t possibly expect her to turn in a report like that, it would be just shameful!” The words keep cutting in and out, and I can’t piece them together.

“Whatever.”

Throat... so dry...

“W- water”

“Did it just talk!?” Ow... high-pitched voice. Afraid... or concerned. Not sure.

“Shush!” Curious voice. I recognize that voice.

“What was that?”

I can barely hear my own voice. “Water”

“What do we do?” Panic. At what? I asked for water...

“We help it of course.”

“Are you even sure that’s it’s mouth?” Hello again Jock. Why are you here?

“I hope so, it sounds hurt.”

I feel something pressed against my lips. I open my mouth and I feel cool water enter my mouth slowly. I drink until there is no more, and my throat feels better.

So... tired.

“H- hello?” Hello, goodbye... need... to sleep.

“...Don’t tell me it fell asleep again.” Not yet, but I’m getting there. Jerk...

“I’m afraid it did, it must be very worn out.”

“Do you think it has a name?”

“Maybe, at least we know it can talk.”

“This is it, princess.”

“I must admit, I’ve never seen anything like this.” Motherly, but not like my mother...

“Well, that’s not too reassuring.”

“I’m sorry I can’t identify it, but there must be something...”

“Like what?”

“Let’s start with what you know about it.”

“Okay, here are my notes.”

I can still hear the voices, but I can’t tell what they’re saying. I know the language, but I can’t identify the actual words all the time.

I feel... strange. Like, some sort of tension...

“Hey! It’s moving!”

“I wonder if it’s waking up...”

“Wait... something seems wrong.”

“What is it?”

“I’m not sure, but... I sense...”

“Woah!”

“Agh!”

“What is this?”

“I don’t know!”

“It’s... so bright...”

“Let’s call Princess Celestia again, this seems big.”

“Y- yeah.”

Feel... different. Warm. So tired...

“And once the light faded, it was glowing! I felt an incredible amount of power from it.”

“Hmmm... I see. I suppose it would be safe to try this.” Motherly voice is back. Huh.

“Huh? Try what?”

“Yes, this is very odd. It is definitely emitting a lot of energy, but not any magic I’m closely familiar with.”

“If it’s not magic, then what could it be?” That voice is so different... like a noble in an old play. Maybe their leader?

“I believe it’s too soon to tell. But this creature is very special. I suggest you keep your elements with you, just in case.” A... a warning, I think? About what? Or who?

“Okay princess, I’ll send a letter if anything else happens.”

“Please do. Also, bring it to me in Canterlot when it is able to be moved.”

“O- of course.”

“So... do we give it a name?”

“That would be rather rude if it already had one, don’t you think?”

“I suppose, but seriously, this is boring!”

“How is this boring? It’s incredible! It’s a undiscovered creature!”

“Ah hate to admit it, but ah think you’re the only ones here who thinks this thing is anythin’ special...”

“Oh come on, you saw what it did! Wasn’t that interesting?”

“It asked for water, and then it started glowing, and then it stopped glowing. We’ve been watching this thing all day!” Something was glowing? I don’t recall...

“But none of us can leave! We promised the princess we’d watch over it. If this thing turns out to be a meanie-pants and one of us is missing, we can’t use the elements to color-blast it!”

“Fine, whatever.”

Not so tired anymore... I need to move... thirsty...

I sit up, feeling a touch nauseous at the movement. It’s still dark, but not as dark. Can’t make out where I am. Those voices, what were they? So thirsty...

“H- hello?” No reply. “Hello?”

“Huh?” One of the voices from earlier. Curious Voice, I think.

“Hello?”

“O- ohmygosh! Is that you?”

Now able to actually talk and understand, I respond. “Uh, maybe? I don’t know what you mean. Do I know you?”

“Unlikely, I’ve never met you before.”

Still thirsty. “Hey uh, could I... have some water please?” I cast my eyes around, trying to find light or illumination of any kind.

“Of course! Let me get some light.” A small flame springs to life. A candle, illuminating, but not too bright. “Can you move?”

Still laying down I feel rather tired, my muscles feeling taxed. “I’m not sure.” It’s like I’d been working all day every day for a month, and then finally gotten to rest.

“Well, perhaps you shouldn’t,” Curious Voice says, sounding worried. “I’ll be right back.”

A few moments later I hear the sound of running water. It makes me even more thirsty. I think about the voice. It sounded rather feminine. Most of the voices did from what I recall. Maybe there were three voices, maybe twenty, it’s so fuzzy.

I see the candle flame come into view again, and when it’s close to me, I feel the same object as before held to my lips. I gently take the object into my own hand and feel it as I drink. It’s a cup-shape obviously, but seems to have a rather grainy texture. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Sorry if I’ve been trouble.” I apologize.

“Oh, uh, not at all. You’re just, um... new to us. What’s your name, by the way?”

Hmmm... I don’t really know if I should tell her my name. She seems friendly, but still a stranger I suppose. I give her my name... sort of. “Anthony.” The name spills off my lips like it’s something I’ve practiced saying a hundred times already.

“I see... and how do you spell that?” As I spell it out, I hear a scribbling sound. She’s obviously taking notes. “And, uhm, could I also have your gender?”

“Male”

“Okay...” Paper shuffling, then more scribbling. “Age?”

I’m not a fan of being a test subject and right now I feel like I’m just a science project. “How about I get to know some things about you before you continue the interrogation?”

“O-oh, right, of course! I’m sorry.” I can hear the sound of someone shuffling in a seat.

“So who are you?”

The candle flame is moved closer to illuminate her noticeably malformed features as she speaks. “My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“Uh-huh. And what exactly are you, Miss Sparkle?” Whatever she was... it wasn’t human. I mean, for one she looks fuzzy. Like, not ‘blurry image’ fuzzy, but ‘covered in fur’ fuzzy.

“I’m a unicorn.” I snort, a unicorn? That’s pretty stupid. “Is... something funny?” An eyebrow raises on the brownish face in front of me, and I do have to admit she looks kinda horse-ish, but in a sort of cartoony way, eyes too big and nose to short, among other things.

Shaking my head, I ask jokingly, “Come on, what are you really?”

“Erm, I’m a pony.” My ‘unicorn’ host replies, obviously thinking I’m dumb enough to believe anything. The candle drifts a little away from her face, leaving it back in shadow again.

“Okay, fine, whatever.” I say, shrugging in defeat. “What other questions do you have?”

“Well, I was going to ask your age, but now that you’ve brought up species-”

“Human.” I interject, before she can actually ask.

Her eyes glimmer in the faint light from the candle, staring and confused. “Huh?”

I roll my eyes. “I’m a human.”

“That’s definitely new... spell that please?” As I spell it out, I hear another one of the voices from earlier.

“Huh... what with the li-” a startled gasp, somewhere between shock and delight and a mixture of both, splits the voice’s sentence. “Ohmygosh! It- it’s awake!”

“Hello.” I can’t see who the voice is coming from but I figure I should respond anyway. I try turning my head towards it, but the candle’s actually ruining what little night vision I had begun to gather, my eyes refusing to adjust to darkness now that they had the opportunity to be lazy.

“It talks too!” Another delighted gasp punctuates the voice’s words, before she clears her throat. “Uh, I mean... um, hello.”

“Let me guess, you’re a unicorn too.”

“Uhm, no, I’m a p- pegasus.” I think that’s the quiet voice from before, if only going by volume.

“Right. Well, at least there’s a variety. I suppose the next one is a Jabberwock.”

“A what?” The ‘pegasus’ sounds either surprised or startled.

I wave it off, feeling returning to my hands at last. “Nevermind, guess you don’t like Lewis Carroll.”

“What?” this time, the question comes from ‘Twilight’.

I have to roll my eyes again. “He’s an author. A rather famous one at that.”

“An author? I’ve never heard of him.”

“Oh come on, everyone’s at least heard of his books. Everyone knows Alice in Wonderland at the bare minimum.”

“I... I haven’t. Wow, a popular book I’ve never read... I’ve got to look for this one.” Damn right you do. Carroll's works are phenomenal. The scribbling noise again. I assume she’s writing down the title.

“What’s with all the yapping? Some of us are trying to sleep!” Oh, Jock Voice is still here, and by the tone it is also female if a bit gruff.

“Rainbow Dash! He’s awake!”

“You mean the bald thing?”

I grab my scalp to assure myself that I am not bald. I still have a full head of hair and relay this fact. “I am not bald, I’m barely twenty, no way I’m losing my hair!” Scribbling. Well, guess I did answer one of her questions.

“Oh come on, you’ve got as much hair on you as a shaved cat!” Jock Voice says, whom I assume is this ‘rainbow dash’ person. Man, such weird names around here...

“Holy crap!” The lights flick on and I fall back, startled by being suddenly face to face with a pair of magenta-red eyes

“Hah! Scaredy-cat!”

I notice now that the creature in front of me has wings, and is rather equine-shaped, though with quite a few liberties taken. Guess that could count as a pegasus. Her hair was also rainbow-striped. Guess that could be a good reason to be named Rainbow Dash.

She also has a protruding nose and mouth. Perfect.

“Oh yeah well... Got your nose!” I hold a fist tightly around her snout, squeezing her mouth shut.

“What’s the matter, horsey? Scaredy-cat got your tongue?” I swear, she’s giving me the most menacing look I’ve ever seen on a quadrupedal mythical creature. As well, she’s reaching a hoof back, as if to wind up for a punch. Which is patently ridiculous, horses can’t punch.

“That’s enough!” Twilight yells, and I see a flash of pink-purple light strobe in the corner of my vision. Suddenly, I am lifted off the ground, pulled away from Rainbow Dash and vice-versa, the two of us now separated by a good four or five feet.

“Come on Twi, put me down, he’s asking for it!” Dash says, putting up her front hooves at me, like a boxer or something.

I look incredulously at Twilight, who I can now see has a horn that is glowing in the same pinkish-purple as the flash I’d seen. “Wait, you’re doing that?” Magic? Telepathy? What’s going on? I take a better look at the so-called unicorn, and see she’s also vaguely equine-shaped and purple, not orange-brown as the candlelight painted her. She also has dark-purple hair, much more subdued than the tropical display her friend has, though it does have a stripe of some sort of magenta. Fits her color scheme but it’s still very ‘punk’. Probably going through her rebellious teenager phase. Twilight simply nods and we are set down on opposite sides of the room. I take this chance to actually look at my surroundings in the light. Books on shelves line every wall, most likely a library, though a very small and sparse one.

Anyway yeah, Twilight has freaky powers. Maybe she is a unicorn after all, but perhaps not the ‘Farting rainbow dust and barfing kittens-shaped cupcakes’ variety. Mental image funny, must laugh. “Hahahaha... oh man, I am so totally nuts right now.”

“Huh?” Oh, they look confused. They actually look kinda cute when they scrunch up their faces like that.

“This is the craziest dream I’ve ever had.” I declare, looking brightly around the room.

“Dream?” ‘Twilight’ says, raising an eyebrow again, looking baffled.

I shrug. “Yeah, I mean, come on. Magical winged horses? I have to be asleep still. I’m probably at home in bed. My alarm’s gonna go off and wake me up any moment now.” I stare up at the ceiling and await the obnoxious buzzing noise that signifies morning.

“Uhhh... This isn’t a dream.” The appropriately-named Rainbow Dash replies confusedly.

Of course she’d say that, dreams aren’t self aware until the dreamer becomes fully lucid. “Oh yeah? I’ll prove it.”

“Pfft, you can’t prove what isn’t true!” she says, sure of herself. I’d like to point to Scientology for the fastest proof against her statement, but...

“My my, Rainbow-Dork, is that a challenge?” I smirk.

“It is now! Come on, show me what you got!” She is now rearing up on her hind legs, punching the air with her front legs and... I suppose trying to be menacing.

“Sorry, I don’t feel like fighting someone who isn’t going to win.”

“Oh, it’s on now!”

“Bring it, Rainbow Ditz. Dream powers, go!” I decide to turn into a giant monster, and unsurprisingly, I start to get bigger. At this point, I’m five times my normal height.

“Sweet Merciful...”

The three of them are staring at me in shock. Their jaws have literally dropped wide open.

“How...?” Twilight struggles out, baffled by my dream-fu powers.

Being a dream, I decide to say something cool. “Come at me, bro!” Hey, it sounded cool in my head, plus it doesn’t matter because I’m huge.

“What is that awful din?”

I notice three other ponies. The speaking one is white, her mouth open in a large yawn. I decide to respond in the only appropriate way. “I am your God now, bring me ice cream!”

“Holy-moley, it’s gone all grow-y! Can I have some ice cream too? I love ice cream!” A pink, poofy-haired one. Heh, I like this one already.

“Twi... what did ya do?” The orange one. Quite the rural accent on this one. I decide to just bask in their shock and let them continue.

“I- I didn’t... he... he just...”

“Are you tellin’ me this thing did that itself?” the orange one raises an eyebrow, a motion that puts most other raised eyebrows to shame, because this one damned-near leaves her face in its efforts to raise as high as it’ll go.

“I don’t understand either...” Seems this conundrum is too difficult for her little brain to comprehend.

“Wow, this is the most exciting morning I’ve ever had! Well, maybe not more exciting than the time...” I start to just tune out the ponies. Not like what they say matters.

“Twilight, do something!” One of them snaps, as I look for more things to do.

“Like what?”

“Yes, that’s right, nothing you can do now! Now bring me my ice cream before I roast you all with my atomic breath!” I may not be king of the monsters... but in a dream, hell, I can do anything he can!

“S- seriously?” All the ponies take a fearful step back, eyes even wider than before.

“Well, you didn’t really do anything wrong, so I suppose I won’t hurt you... But I still want that ice cream.” This is a dream, I am entitled to whatever I want whenever I want it because I am the dreamer and therefore I’m in charge. That’s how dreams work... nightmares aside.

Twilight approaches me. “How about a deal? You go back to normal, and I get you some ice cream?”

“Deal!” I decide I wouldn’t want to risk banging my head on anything anyway, so I shrink back to normal. As soon as I do, a gallon carton of ice-cream floats out from another room, surrounded by a purple glow of the same color on Twilight’s horn, and the same color as the aura around me when Dash and I were separated.

“Here you go.”

I look at the carton to check the label on the front. “Rocky Road?”

“Uh, yeah...”

I lean in close to Twilight, making her nervous. I stare deep into her large eyes, getting so close I can hear her ragged breathing. Slowly reaching for her head, I scratch her behind the ear. “Good pony.” I love rocky road.

“I... I... What?” Still having trouble comprehending her position it seems. She also seems to be struggling to figure out where her ears are supposed to be, as they keep going up and down like semaphore flags.

“Okay, I’ve had enough of you!” Rainbow Dash yells. Before I can even blink, the pegasus is in front of me, holding the carton of ice cream. Suddenly, the carton was much closer. Like, mashed-into-my-head kind of close.

“Ow!” I pull the carton off my face, Rocky Road ice cream sliding down, some of it in my eyes and most of it ending up on my T-shirt. “That hurt!”

“Good!” My assaulter replies, sounding rather pleased with herself. She crosses her hooves and smirks.

Wait a minute... Th- that hurt. the realization is like a ton of bricks to the chest, or another carton of ice cream to the face, and I can feel the anger in my expression slide away into horror like the chocolatey remains dribbling off my nose.

Ohhhhhhhh shit.