Author's Notes:

I'm ba~ack!! I'm over my apathy and I'm ready to write again!

I get into the shower and wash myself off, but there’s a nagging thought at the back of my mind. That vision... It was me. No matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn’t clean the images from my mind. I know it’s not what I want, no way. I could never let that happen... but apparently, I could. Even if it’s the worst case scenario, the fact that that’s what I could end up not doing... I shudder, scared by myself. I know my mind is messed up, but what I saw... no. I don’t need to think about it. It’s over, it didn’t happen, and it’s not going to happen. I let the gentle susurrus of the water calm my nerves. I am not so ignorant of those around me. These ponies showed me that.

I’ve had a dark past, a lot of pain, fear and hatred from those closest to me and to those I didn’t even know. But this is my chance. Here, in Equestria, I can be safe. Not physically of course, this place is filled with dangers and threats, but... I’m not worried. I have friends here. Friends who care about me and will help me if I need them. Is this what Twilight meant by ‘Friendship is magic’? Not an actual force or power, but... a sort of mental unity that we can use to feel safe?

I’m not entirely convinced I fit the bill for ‘best friend ever’. I have many vices: Greed, sloth, I’m a liar, thief and a cheat... but I’m not evil, and these ponies trust me. My own trust has been abused in the past and left me scarred and hurt, but I will not do the same. I don’t vow to be a good person through and through, that’s impossible, but... I feel relieved. That image helped me. It showed me what I’m not and why I’m glad that I’m not. I’m not going to make any changes to who I am. I’m fine the way I am. Maybe... maybe I should tell them my name? No. I’m not sure if I’m the same person as back then... but I don’t feel any different... I have to give it more thought later.

I get out of the shower and dry myself off. It takes about six towels because they’re so small. Damn these ponies and their tiny bodies. I put on my clothes, and I feel like I hadn’t just showered. It just occured to me how filthy they are. I decide that I’m going to talk to Rarity about those clothes.

I head over to Carousel Boutique, thinking about what sort of clothes she might come up with. I’ve seen her designs and they aren’t bad, but I think that jeweled clothing would get rather uncomfortable. I walk in the door and see Rarity, perfectly fine, working on a dress. No, stop freaking out, it was just a dream, everybody is perfectly fine. I take a deep breath to calm myself.

“Hiya Rarity.” I say, announcing my presence.

“Huh? Oh, hello Anthony. That was, um... quite the show you put on earlier. I’m sorry Rainbow Dash had weaseled you into something so degrading.”

“What can I say? I lost fair and square, and I was the one who set the stakes. Anyway, I’ve finally gotten sick of wearing the same outfit this entire time so...”

Immediately, Rarity’s eyes light up. “Oh that’s marvelous, because I have come up with hundreds of fabulous designs, you simply have to try them! Well, once I finish them of course. It’s a little difficult because I don’t have any human mannequins, but I do have a few things finished.”

I shrug, but a small smile tugs at the corner of my lips. Slightly. “Sure, why not? Let’s see what you have.”

Minutes later, I’m not sure if I feel suave, or really fancy. She made me a fine, blue longsleeve shirt, over a white undershirt, with a spring-green handkerchief in the breast pocket. Since my legs are not as prominent as that of a pony, all I had was a pair of simple white slacks, but that just seemed to help the entire ensemble. But something was missing...

“This is really cool Rarity!”

“Thank you dear, I had to make this without any form of reference, but I did what I could. I am so glad that you like this!” She’s practically beaming, chest puffed out with pride.

“Now how about some underwear?”

Rarity blinks at me, her look of pride turning to one of mild embarrassment. “Uhhh, well... I suppose I could make you some, but it’s not exactly... what my business here is for.”

“What? You make clothes. Underwear is clothing, right?”

Rarity coughed into her hoof and cast a furtive glance to the door. “Well, I’m not exactly in the business of designing... intimate apparel.”

“Intimate?” Then it struck me. Ponies don’t wear underwear. they don’t have to, so to them, clothing meant to cover one’s privates... “Oh-nononononono! That’s not what I meant, I swear, I just want something to prevent chafing, and have a little cover incase my pants get messed up.”

“...covering?” Comes the tentative question.

I facepalm and take a deep breath, kneeling down to be eye-level with Rarity. “How do I put this? Stallions and human males are... different.” She nods slowly, a bit confused. I decide the easiest way to do this would be to just be blunt. “Specifically with our... genitalia. You see, stallions have a sheath so that when their ‘tool’ is not in use, it is not clearly visible to the public.”

She’s still nodding, a bit of a blush visible on her face.

“Human males, like me, do not have a sheath, nor do we have fur. This means that if we do not use clothing to cover ourselves...”

The blush has spread across her entire face and is now very visible. She puts up a hoof to pause my line of explanation. “Stop, stop... I understand your... meaning.”

I rub the back of my neck. “Yeah, so if you could... you know?”

Despite being alone, she still looks around, and whispers. “Come see me alone later tonight, okay?”

I pause at the phrasing of the request. “Uh, Rarity...”

Her eyes go wide realizing what she had said. “I mean... uhm...” She stammers for a sec. “I’ll make you some, just...”

I decide to end this now before things get worse. “Yeah, I know, I’ll drop by later.”

Then came the disaster in the form of a little white filly. “Hi Rarity! Hi Anthony! Hey sis, why’s your face all red?”

Nope, red alert, eject, abort mission, evacuate, run! “ThanksfortheclothesRarityI’llseeyoulater!” I grab my old clothes and Spark up, dashing through the door and outside as fast as I can. I can hear a faint sound like thunder behind me.

Well, that was a lot more awkward than I expected it to be. I feel bad for leaving Rarity to explain by herself but I was not about to attempt to recover from that, I know when I’m going to screw up.

I stop by a shop window and look at my reflection. I really do look rather nice. I feel pretty darn fancy in fact. I’ll have to thank Rarity again tonight when I see her. That was certainly... interesting. Yeah, I’ll call it interesting. As I’m wandering around Ponyville, I see Spike walking along with a long roll of paper. I decide to chat, since we don’t talk much and I am trying to make friends here I suppose. “Heya Spike.”

“Hey Anthony, woah! Nice suit! Where’d ya get it?”

“Rarity made it for me.”

“I should have guessed, I mean...” he inhales and sighs, “isn’t she just fantastic?”

“I admit she’s good, but I’m not that big a fan of clothes to be honest.” Spike doesn’t seem to hear me, he’s just staring at nothing with a dumb grin on his face. Then I get it.

“Crushing pretty hard there, aren’t ya, dude?” I ask, smirking at him.

He shakes himself back to reality. He blushes, an impressive feat through dragon scales. “Huh? Oh... yeah, that obvious?”

“How could you possibly get more obvious than this?” I mimic the face he had while off in his daydream.

He sighs. “Yeah, I guess.” he perks up a moment later, and asks, “Hey, she likes you, doesn’t she?”

“Ehhhhhhhhhh... yes? Maybe? I honestly don’t know.” I shrug. “If you’re asking for help, I don’t know a dang thing about human girls, let alone mares.”

He chuckles. “Heh, think you’ll have about as much luck as I am?”

“Wait... you imply I’m going to try?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. I’m sorry, but the thought is just... no. Maybe if I ‘go native’ completely, but... no.

Spike shrugs. “Well, if you can’t go back home, why not?”

“Because they’re ponies! Seriously man, to me, a pony is a pony. I ain’t gonna even try that minefield.”

“Never?” he raises his eyebrow... well, eyebrow ridge, again. “Really?”

“No way, man. I’ve already accepted that I’m probably gonna be stuck here for good, but unless a chick has only one pair of legs, I ain’t trying anything.”

“Suit yourself.“

I nod “Man, it is soooo good to just chat with another guy, you know? Why are there so many mares anyway?”

Spike shrugs. “That’s just the way it is, I suppose.”

“So, what’s next on your slave-list?”

“It’s not a slave-list, I’m performing very important tasks for Twilight as her number one assistant!” Spike replies imperiously, as if Twilight’s desires mattered most.

“Sure, so what’s next?” I say, waving off his insistence.

He looks over the list. “Uuuhh... Pick up dry cleaning.” I grin, looking down at Spike while trying not to laugh. “This is just very, very bad timing, I swear!”

“Whatever man, I’m just saying, if you end up with a collar that says ‘Property of Twilight Sparkle’...” Spike groans. I’m having too much fun. “Or would you prefer it say ‘Property of Rarity’?”

He raises a claw and opens his mouth in protest... but shuts it quickly. “I’m not going to give you any more feed, man.”

“Alright, alright, I’m done.” I chuckle a bit more. “But in all honesty, I suppose I could ask Rarity what she thinks of you.”

He gives me a suspicious glance. “Really? You aren’t gonna pull anything, are you? If the next time I see her, she thinks I-”

“Calm down man, I don’t have anything to gain by doing anything like that.” I grin. “Yet.”

“Dude, you’re evil.” he says, giving me a disappointed look.

I laugh and reply. “No way, if I was evil, it’d be a lot easier to figure out what’s wrong with me.”

“I know what’s wrong with you, already.”

That catches me off-guard. “Oh? What is it?”

“Plenty.” he says, nodding seriously. “There’s plenty wrong with you.”

I laugh again. “You got me there, Spike. Anyway, I’ll leave you to your incredibly important list of incredibly important tasks.” I say, jokingly.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

I had a very important thing to attend to myself, for real. In all the confusion, I forgot about Cotton Cloudy. I don’t know why, but it just feels like... I couldn’t think of it until now. I’ve made up my mind that I’m not going to hurt her mom, but I need to know why she was so...

Wait. Rewind the tape. I was waiting for Thunder, she came home, I grab her, I black out, I wake up... in the... Changeling hive... captured...

No. No way. I Spark up, surprising the nearby ponies and rush to the house I was at before, rushing through other houses, phasing through every obstacle in my way. Eventually, I get up to the house. Not bothering to Power down, I knock on the door.

Thunder Bolt opens the door. Or is it Thunder Bolt? She’s startled and tries slamming the door, but I stop it with my foot. I’m not sure if it even hurts, but I don’t notice it if it does. I force open the door and step inside. “That’s not a very nice thing to do to people, especially ones like me.” I say angrily, focusing my sparkling glare on her. “I’m here to see Cotton Cloudy. I’m not going to take no for an answer, am I clear?” The mare nods, pointing me to a stairway. Red flag: She’s not even going to try to save her filly?

I walk up the stairs and Power down. I walk into the first room I see. No Cotton. I try the next door over, and I see Cotton, asleep in a little, filly-sized bed. She looks so peaceful, like an angel. She’s so adorable! Wait... Isn’t it a school day? I swear I saw some kids head to the schoolhouse earlier. She looks old enough to go to school. I know I didn’t like school, but a parent should still make their kid get a proper education. That’s two Red Flags.

I approach the filly, kneeling down by her bedside. I run my hand through her mane gently and her eyes flutter open. “Hey there, Cotton.” I whisper. “How are ya?”

She looks up at me and smiles. “Hi Anthony... I’m *yawn* kinda tired.”

I smile. “Heh, it’s a bit late in the day to be asleep, don’t you think?”

“Mommy said it’s okay, because I get so-” She cuts herself off with another large yawn. “So tired all the time and my head hurts sometimes.” I remember what Twilight’s notes said about Changelings. The process is painful and draining for the victim. Red Flag three. That’s it. “Okay, well then you rest. And don’t worry about a thing.” I decide to throw in a bit more Shakespeare for the hell of it, taking a specific liberty of course. “Good night sweet princess, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest." She giggles quietly, and closes her eyes, drifting off to sleep once again.

I walk downstairs and I approach the mare. “Come with me, ma’am. We’re going for a little walk.” She doesn’t have time to make any noises before a glittering black cloud encompasses her.

I draw a bit of a crowd as I walk. It’s probably because I have a grown mare slung over my back, holding her by her hind legs and a coal band clamping her mouth shut. I don’t care, because as far as I’m concerned, a filly could be missing her mother and being abused. If this mare really is Thunder Bolt, I will apologize. If it’s a Changeling...

I come to the library, and walk in. I drop the mare on the table in the middle of the room. Twilight isn’t around, so I sit and wait, watching the mare to make sure she doesn’t try anything stupid. I don’t have to wait long, as the door opens and Twilight walks in. “Hello Twilight.” I begin calmly. “There is a very serious matter I need help with.”

She stares at the muzzled mare on the table, then to me, panic in her eyes. “Anthony...” I can tell she’s about to yell, so I clamp my hand over her mouth. “Mmmmmph!”

“Listen Twilight, I need you to calm down and listen to me. This is very important, and Ponyville may be in trouble.”

I see her eyes soften, so I let go of her mouth. Her first words are sharp, but a good choice. “What is going on here?”

“Well, I made friends with this filly I saved, and a while ago she showed signs of parental negligence.”

“So you tied up her mom?”

“I’m getting to that. I read in your notes quite a lot of information about Changelings and while I know I’m not the world’s greatest detective, I have evidence to support my theory that this mare right here is a Changeling imposter who has been feeding off of a filly’s love for her mother.”

Twilight has a serious look on her face. “This is very serious, I suppose this should be settled as soon as possible.” She walks up to the table and her horn glows with magic. She fires a beam at the mare, and confirms my suspicions, as a wave of green flames wash over the mare, white fur being replaced by dark chitin. Twilight gasps, backing up in fear, shivering. “Ch- Changelings! No!”

I pick the Changeling up off the table by the head and smash it against the library floor over and over, screaming with rage. All I can think of is bashing this parasite’s brains in. I keep on slamming it until all I’m holding is a cracked carapace covered in blue-green blood. I realize that the entire time I wasn’t even breathing. I take a deep breath as I drop the limp insectoid creature. Twilight stares at me like I grew a second head... or as if I just committed a brutal homicide. “Geez Anthony, I know you said you’re an anti-hero and want to protect ponies in trouble but... that was...”

“Don’t... talk about it, alright? I’ll explain everything later. Right now, I need to know what changelings do with ponies they’ve replaced.”

“Well, to be honest, I’ve only experienced it once, and it was the queen. I don’t know what a normal Changeling would do...” She replies tentatively, shifting on her hooves in a nervous... prance? I don’t know pony terminology.

“We have to find this mare, Twilight.”

Given that we had no other leads, Twilight and I had decided to try Cotton’s house and check the basement or a closet or something. Sure it’s stupid, but it’s better than sitting in the library doing nothing and leaving a filly to the Changelings. I’m about to run off, but Twilight stops me.

“Wait, shouldn’t we get some backup, at least?”

“What? Every moment we waste something bad could happen to Cotton! I can handle some Changelings by myself!”

“I saw you handle one Changeling that was tied up.” I wanted to protest and tell her I took on a quarter of a hive but that would require explaining and a story I did not have time to tell.

“Look, Twilight, you can either help me or not, I don’t care. I’m going now!” With that, I Spark up and rush to Cotton’s house once more. As I run, I curse the distance. Despite my blurring speed, with a metaphorical clock ticking, each step feels like it takes five minutes, rather than a split second.

I feel angry. Angry at these Changelings and what they’ve done and might do, angry at Chrysalis for her lies and deceit, angry at myself for being so damn blind.

After a full minute of eternity, I see the house. I don’t bother with stopping to open the door, so I just phase through it. I’m about to rush up the stairs when I hear something from a room to the right. Still powered up, I run into the room and see a couch, a few chairs, a short table. It’s a living room, but no Changelings... Suddenly I hear a hiss behind me. I whirl around, but before I can act, I’m knocked into the living room and twenty or so Changelings appear out of absolute nowhere! I get up only to get knocked down again. Now I’m angry... but I don’t have any coal, and I can’t use fire powers without risking burning down the house. Doesn’t matter, I’m not going to give up. I punch the nearest Changeling, and do the same with another. I feel fangs dig into my side. I wince in pain as I grab the Changeling’s head and throw it into the wall. More fangs, this time in my shoulder. These spaces are too tight, I don’t have time to focus on only one target at a time!

I continue my struggle, and eventually I start to win, then I feel a pain in my back, like I’ve been burned. They have horns, of course they have magic. I turn to strike at the Changeling behind me, but I’m caught off-guard by two more magic blasts. I start to feel dizzy, and I fall to the floor. The Changelings dogpile on me, biting and kicking and punching. I can’t fight back, and a weird, cool feeling on the back of my skull warns me of them trying to knock me out.

No... not like this. It can’t end... like this...

Suddenly, there’s a bright light and the Changelings are blasted off of me. What?

“I told you, you can’t handle the Changelings!” Twilight! Oh I have never been so happy to see her. I scramble to my feet and continue my assault. Now that I have backup it’s so much easier. I watch as Twilight casts all sorts of spells, each one having a different effect, but all of them used with precision and power. Twilight really is quite talented.

No time to think about that! I start throwing punches at anything vaguely insectoid, but somehow, they just keep coming. With all the damage I’ve suffered, I realize that the outfit Rarity made for me is in tatters, blood showing through my undershirt where I’ve been bitten. Another magic attack from the left! I see it coming this time and defuse it, but it leaves me open to a charge attack. My large body is a huge disadvantage here. Oh, why didn’t I get the power to shrink?

Another Changeling tries to rush me, but this time, I see it and go intangible. I watch as my attacker flies right through me... and into Twilight! Seeing their chance, all the Changelings pile onto her in a frenzy like they did to me earlier. But now they’re all distracted. I pray Twilight can hold on as I grab a standing lamp and break it in half over my knee. It hurts like hell, but now that I have a weapon I can do something. I pull Changeling after Changeling off of Twilight and beat them all senseless. I can hear her cries of pain, screaming for help. Angered, I point the broken end of the lamp pole at some of the Changelings, and run them through, using the sharp edge to skewer their heads to the wall. I grab one more Changeling, and tear off a piece of its armor. I hear it squeal as I then stomp on it’s unarmored back. I then use the slab of chitin to beat the rest of the Changelings, and Twilight gets up, and casts one more spell, taking out one while I’m left with the last two. They both lunge at me with bared fangs. Thinking fast, I shove the piece of chitin into the mouth of the nearest, wedging it’s jaw open. Then I grab the second by the mouth and pull it’s jaws apart. I hear it shriek in pain as I tear off it’s lower jaw. It collapses to the ground, bleeding from it’s now useless mouth. Unfortunately, the first Changeling has stopped trying to bite me and I see it’s horn glow green and fire at me once more, knocking me to the ground. Twilight blasts it twice, and we’ve won. I can’t even stand, I’m too beaten and hurt. My wounds burn and my fists and joints ache. I can tell Twilight is exhausted as well, but she uses one more spell.

We’re back at the library, in Twilight’s room. I lean on her as she helps carry me to her bed. I lay down, the adrenaline still pumping through me. I still feel pretty dizzy from that last magic blast. It could also be blood loss. Then, Twilight speaks.

“You... you were incredible back there. Thanks for... saving my life.”

“Thanks for saving mine.” I say in return, my gratefulness fully sincere.

“I couldn’t just let you die. I had to do something.” She moves onto the bed to rest next to me.

“And did you ever.” I say, a bit out of breath but recovering fast. “I must admit, I didn’t expect that kind of power from you.”

Twilight grins, a flash of accomplishment crossing her face.. “I’m... I’m just glad you’re safe.”

I give a small smile and scratch her behind the ear. Then she does something that I never would ever imagine, she kisses me. I pull away.

“Twilight, what the hell?” She shushes me and kisses me again. I must admit, it feels nice. I’ve never kissed a girl before. It... it’s not so bad. But something feels weird, but then, I’m kissing someone with a muzzle rather than a normal human nose. But in truth, I don’t mind. I lean into the kiss. As strange as it is kissing a pony, let alone Twilight, I feel like I’ve earned this.

Eventually she pulls away, and we just look at each other. I feel... happy. I hold her and we just share this moment together. Everything feels so... right. She rubs her cheek against mine, and I stroke her mane.

She looks me in the eyes, and I just stare at hers. Soft pools of green that feel so... comforting.

“You really were amazing back there.” She whispers. “Like a brave knight, or a powerful king...”

Something clicks against something else in my head, a series of little clues piecing together in a Rube-Goldberg-esque series of little inspiration flashes falling together. Green eyes, green magic, and now a reference to kinghood?

I push Twilight off of me and she hits her head against the wall, her disguise ruined and burning away in a blaze of emerald fire. I seethe with fury as I watch the library fade into Chrysalis’ chamber in the Changeling hive. “You unbelievable bitch!!” I stand up, realizing I’m not hurt. I feel perfectly fine! “You were going to feed on me! You were going to turn me into a mindless zombie!”

She tries to back up, forgetting she was thrown against a wall, her eyes wide and terrified. “A- Anthony, I-”

“You manipulate me, trick me, confuse me, and now you try and make me into a candy bar!?” I scream with rage as I Spark up and Ignite. I set fire to Chrysalis’ bed in passing, flames heating up past red to yellow and on to white. I continue my angry rant, fury turning as incandescent as my flames. Words are the only thing keeping me from going nuts with violence... but the only words that come to mind are just repetitions, inciting me further. “Mess with my emotions?! Try and twist my heart?! Turn me into a fucking puppet!?”

I rush forward, and kick Chrysalis in her midsection as she tries to turn away from me. I grab her horn “I’ve. Had. Enough.”

I do what I did with Luna and charge flames through my fist and into her twisted, gnarled horn, kicking her once more. I see her mouth open in a scream, but I’m so angry I don’t hear anything but my own thundering heartbeat hammering in my ears.

“Now reap what you’ve sown, you psychotic fuckwit!” I grasp her horn in both hands and send as much heat through them as I can. In a few moments, I let go. She feebly stumbles, trying to catch her balance, but in doing so, disturbs her horribly damaged horn, and I watch as it crumples into a pile of ashes on the floor, leaving her with nothing but a charred nub. I push her back over onto the ground. She’s beginning to hyperventilate, a tiny, cold part of me notes with satisfaction.

I stand over her, rage burning in my chest. I feel so used, and so abused. Played for a fool. That tiny, cold voice in the back of my mind tells me to just kill her and be done with it, leave the mindless Changelings to die off for good.

I should do what’s right and give her a second chance, I should be a good person and not kill her where she lays. I should be a savior and try and convince her to give up her evil ways. All of those arguments pass through the last surviving part of my mind not wreathed in fury, but they’re dismissed without further consideration.

I am none of those things. Extinguishing my flames, I grow until my head almost hits the vaulted roof of her chamber, and stomp her like the pathetic, useless disgusting bug she is. A final-sounding ‘crunch-splat’ noise echoes throughout the chamber. I walk down off the balcony and into the main room. I expect a flood of Changelings to come out and kill me where I stand, in an instinctual charge to avenge their queen... but none come. I hear a struggling noise. Powering up, I rush over to the sound, and I see a large, green cocoon. It’s shaking slightly and I can hear noises from inside. I punch through it’s outer membrane and tear it open. Out falls a barely conscious Twilight. The real Twilight.

Seeing her, I think back to the last mind game Chrysalis tried to play with me. It messes with my head so badly. I’m tired.

“Twilight?” My hands are trembling. Weird.

“Mmph...” she blearily looks around, and I recall how disoriented I was coming out of my pod not too long ago. “Huh?”

Speaking slowly, I ask, “Can you get us home?”

“I th- think so.” she looks around, still dazed, and blinks twice slowly.

I pause for a second. “Not the library.”

“O- okay...”

In a flash of correctly-colored magic, a nice pale purple-pink, we’re back in Ponyville, by the Town Hall. I pick up the collapsed Twilight and take her to the hospital. Once I’ve made sure she’ll be taken care of, I head off to Cotton’s house, and I see the living room in a wreck, but not nearly as bad as I recall. The lamp is still intact, so the illusion must have been cast some time before that. It’s not important. Cotton is. Just to make sure, I walk into her room and I see Thunder Cloud sitting there. When she sees me she goes wide-eyed and holds her hooves around her sleeping child. She’s the real deal, thank goodness.

“Is...” I gulp, my throat oddly dry, “is she safe?”

Mollified by my words, Thunder Cloud simply nods. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I thank the mare and leave he to her child. They’re both safe and that’s all that matters.

My current business in Ponyville done, I walk to the edge of the Everfree forest. I just sit and think. About Twilight and about what Chrysalis wanted me to see. I sigh heavily. I have experience, I know what love feels like. I know for sure that I don’t feel anything like that for Twilight at all, but... why did Chrysalis choose her? Was she the most convenient choice, or...

I shake my head. It doesn’t matter. Chrysalis is gone now, and things are back to normal. I’m going to stay in Ponyville... with my friends.

I grin as I come up with a great idea for a prank. I Spark up and charge off to get some supplies. Rainbow Dash won’t know what hit her!