Feeling disappointed, Sideralis looked at the headless training dummy. How many training dummies had he decapitated over the past few days? Thirty? Forty? Fifty? Fifty seemed possible. Learning how to use the telekinesis projectors in his front hooves was frustrating. It was the simplest of training exercises, but he kept failing.

Swoop down at speed, extend a field of telekinesis, and pick up a pony so they could be rescued. Scootaloo could do it. Apple Bloom could do it. Mustang did it with a showy ease that made Sideralis even more frustrated. Stout could do it with her eyes closed. As for Mjölna, she could swoop down and grab groups.

There was still no sign of his own natural magic and he couldn’t get much to come from his horn, with the exception of some glowing light and a few sparks.

“Oh my,” Fluttershy whispered as she too, looked at the training dummy. “That’s a pretty clean cut there, Sideralis. You just sheared this pony’s head right off… ohh… oh my. That’s ghastly.”

Tossing his head back, Sideralis let out a snort and gave himself a shake.

“Come on big guy, you can do it… don’t give up.” Standing beside Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash gave Sideralis a supporting grin.

“I feel like we’re wasting time… Twilight Sparkle is ready to depart. As much as I don’t like skipping out on training, I think we’re done here. We’ll have to pick this up at another time.” Blossomforth paced back and forth near the decapitated training dummy. “Overall, I’d call this a rousing success… Sideralis’ slingshot slice is remarkably effective at removing his enemies’ heads. I’m sure that will be useful on the battlefield. Look how clean that is… right through the steel frame… that’s not a break, that is a clean, neat cut. That steel is as smooth as silk.”

“That’s… that’s not funny… Sideralis is really bothered that he can’t do this.” Fluttershy bristled as she whirled to face Blossomforth. The yellow pegasus’ wings shot out from her sides. Her feathers were still growing back, but her wings looked much, much fuller now. “Have some respect!”

“Hey!” Rainbow shouted before an argument could start. “Hold on… I have an idea.”

“Oh, here we go,” Stout huffed as she rolled her eyes. “Rainbow’s last idea got a training dummy embedded in the tarmac.” As Stout spoke, Mustang, who stood beside her, giggled.

“No… I know how we can get Sideralis to do this.” Rainbow stepped forward with a cocky swagger. “He’ll swoop down and snatch me up—”

“Are you fuckin’ crazy?” Blossomforth demanded, her profanity causing Fluttershy to cringe. “Do you want to become the headless horse?”

“I think that if it is a real live pony, he’ll pick it up without harm.” Defiant, Rainbow Dash stomped forwards, her hooves clicking upon the tarmac. “I bet that there is some kind of system in place inside of his head that would keep him from hurting me. He’s chopping the heads off the dummies because he can… but if we gave him a live target, I bet everything would be okay.”

“That’s a risky assumption,” Blossomforth replied.

“What about us, then? Why can we do the old swoop and scoop without decapitation?” Mustang asked as she extended a wing and pointed at the headless dummy laying on the tarmac.

“I dunno.” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “But I know that Sideralis won’t hurt me. He’s my bestie.”

“Gah!” Blossomforth rolled her eyes and then looked at Stout. “How did you let this happen?”

Stout smiled, then laughed. “Sideralis is allowed to have friends. Even besties. He’s mine in the ways that are important.” Stout strode forwards and her smile faded, replaced by a look of concern. “Dash, while you have a good idea, I don’t think we should do it.”

“We should totally do it!” Rainbow bounced in place, flapped her wings, and she rose into the air for a few seconds, rising just high enough to look Stout in the eye before falling out of the air and landing with wobbly knees on the tarmac. “What if there are ponies that need rescue? Isn’t that the point of this exercise? Nopony has the sort of carrying capacity that Sideralis does. Plus, I think if he does this, it will make him feel good.”

Sideralis, who stared at the severed stuffed head on the tarmac, did not feel good about himself at the moment, that much was true. He looked away from the severed head and up at the clouds instead.

Cheer up, darling…

Hearing Rarity’s voice inside of his head made him feel better. He tuned out the sound of the argument taking place, ignoring all of the words being hurled around as he gazed skywards.

Rainbow Dash is right… you were made to defend life, you have so much of your mother in you… you should trust your friend. I know it seems very strange and dangerous, but I suspect that Dashie is right.

The telekinetic projectors hummed in his front hooves, causing a faint vibration in his front legs. He thought about the voice of Rarity in his head. He thought about the strange dreams he kept having, of the tree and the strange white alicorn. He had things inside of his head telling him what to do, where to go… he had a heads up display that told him all sorts of things. He was an amalgamation of all manner of things, and he suffered a moment of wondering who and what he was.

But that moment passed as his wings whipped out. He kicked away from the ground, launching himself straight up, no longer needing to run to take off. He flapped a few times, creating a powerful downdraft that nearly blew poor Fluttershy over.

“What’s he doing?” Mustang asked.

“Oh shit,” Fluttershy squeaked, “he’s gonna do it!”

Sideralis leveled out as he flew in low and slow, flying about ten feet above the tarmac. The other ponies had scattered—Fluttershy had fainted and was being carried by Mustang. There was a white blur and then Blossomforth was by his side, flying to his left. Ahead of him, Rainbow Dash stood waiting for pick up.

Gentle, darling… be gentle… you can be rough with Stout and she likes it… but Dashie is so very fragile.

Wings no longer flapping, Sideralis slipped into a glide, soaring over the tarmac, slipping through the air with seeming effortlessness. His eyes focused for distance, zooming in on Rainbow Dash. He could see that she was smiling and that there was no trace of fear. He also saw Stout trying to lure Rainbow off of the tarmac.

But Rainbow wasn’t budging and Sideralis was determined not to let her down.

She was, after all, his bestie, his brain freeze bestie, an ancient bonding ritual that involved guzzling down as much of a frozen slushie as one could in a chilling contest of wills. Sideralis had discovered that C/Equines could still mysteriously get brain freeze.

He powered up his projectors and then, having a second thought, only powered up one projector, turning the other off. A glittering teal blue glow that matched his eyes formed a bubble in front of him. A targeting reticle locked onto Rainbow dash. A line of techno-garble flew in front of his vision, mentioning something about compensation, but Sideralis ignored it, he was far too focused on his friend. She was the only thing in his vision.

He did not hear Blossomforth shouting words of encouragement beside him as he began the final length of the run. Something beeped inside of his ear as he flapped once and then he saw Dash close her eyes, her smile never leaving her face.

Almost on top of her, Sideralis extended his foreleg and willed his telekinesis to scoop up Rainbow Dash. He felt an odd tug on his foreleg, a feeling of weight and pressure. He flapped again, pulling up a little, compensating, and after swallowing, he looked down into his telekinetic bubble, expecting to see a body and a severed head.

What he saw were two rose coloured eyes looking back at him and a wide grin.

“I told ya so, big guy… it’s hot… let’s go get slushies.”

The Ouroboros hovered overhead, looming large over the harbour. With better eyesight, Sideralis was able to appreciate just how large it was, and it was still growing. The gasbag, lumpy and bulbous, appeared to have a thunderstorm inside of it. Flashes of green and blue lights could be seen, streaks of lightning, and strange crackles could be heard.

“How does it fly?” Sideralis asked.

“It has a gasbag to keep it afloat and it has an advanced propulsion system to make it move,” Twilight replied as she watched a load of cargo being lifted up to the ship.

“What propels it?” Sideralis craned his head back and peered upwards.

“Well, right now, we are looking into integrating the same technology that allows your wings to slice through the air and allow you to fly, but its main propulsion is a compressed air system.” Twilight’s eyes narrowed, she squinted as she stared upwards into the bright light.

“Compressed air system?” Sideralis blinked a few times and then let out a half laugh, half wicker. “So… it’s a living thing, and it lets out puffs of air to move it along?”

“Correct.” Twilight looked up at Sideralis. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s a living airship that is propelled by farts.” Sideralis began to snicker and he pressed his lips together as he tried to hold his laughter in.

“Ugh, why must some ponies be so crude… it’s a compressed air system that is powered by the waste gasses from the many digesters. The gas is passed out through exhaust ports. It’s not farting.” Twilight rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Sideralis, I’m so disappointed in you.”

“Has anypony tried lighting them on fire to see what might happen?” Sideralis asked, somehow managing to sound and look serious for all of about ten seconds, before he began giggle-snorting.

“No! They’re highly flammable! Igniting the waste gasses of The Ouroboros would be catastrophic!” Twilight bared her teeth and then she let out a wordless groan. She stomped her hooves a few times on the loading dock, flapped her wings, and then pointed with her hoof. “Get out of here! Go on! Just… go! Shoo! You’re worse than Pinkie Pie! I’m trying to supervise!”

Flapping her wings, Twilight chased Sideralis away, running after after him, all too aware that ponies were busy staring at the both of them, and Sideralis was laughing like a loon. She watched as he took off, making good his escape, and then he flew away.

Once Sideralis was at a distance where Twilight was certain he could no longer hear anything, she began to snigger and a faint smile graced her muzzle. She turned around, chortling, and looked up at The Ouroboros.

Twilight was certain that if Pinkie Pie was here, she would be laughing.

“She shooed you away… for fart jokes?” Rainbow Dash gave Sideralis a sleepy stare. “I gotta stop taking naps… I miss out on all the interesting stuff.” The little blue pegasus yawned and rubbed her stomach with the side of her hoof.

Mustang lifted her head and looked over in the direction of the kitchen. “We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. Before we go, before we have to address her as Commander Sparkle, we should totally prank her.”

A very devious grin appeared upon Rainbow’s face and the little blue pegasus’ ears pinned back against her skull. “If Fluttershy hears us, we’re dead… we’ll be so dead… keep it down.” Rainbow too, looked towards the kitchen were Fluttershy and Stout were fixing food together. “Come on, let’s get out of here, I have an idea. Let’s call it a… a… a flight training exercise for Sid.”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here before Fluttershy catches wind that we’re up to no good,” Mustang agreed. “Sid, get your big rear in gear.”

“Okay.” Sideralis rose up to his hooves, peered over in the direction of the kitchen, and in the most innocent voice he could muster, the same voice he used to speak to his mother, Wisteria, he said, “We’re stepping out for a bit, we’ll be back in time for dinner.”

“Okay,” Fluttershy replied from the kitchen. “Come back hungry.”

“Searching for target,” Mustang announced as she flew beside Sideralis. She scanned the ground below, suspecting that their target was still somewhere down below. Purple alicorns were easy to spot in a crowd.

“This is gonna be great.” Rainbow bounced up and down on Sideralis’ back, looked down at what Sideralis was carrying, and then almost choked on her laughter. Sideralis had to be carrying several hundred pounds of ‘ammo.’ Mustang was armed as well.

“Eyes on target,” Mustang reported as she banked to the left.

Rainbow Dash peered downwards, scanning the ground, and she saw a familiar figure. Twilight was standing on top of a massive pile of crates, doing what Twilight did best. Supervising a situation and checking off a checklist. Reaching out, she patted Sideralis. “This is going to be a good practice run for you, buddy.”

“Beginning strafing run.” Mustang swooped and began her powerdive towards the unsuspecting Twilight Sparkle, her wings angling into an attack position, sweeping back to reduce her forward target profile. In a telekinetic bubble that extended from her left leg, she had dozens of water balloons in every colour of the rainbow. With her right leg, she selected a few, holding them in her telekinesis, and with her uncanny aim, she fired upon the unsuspecting alicorn.

A fat blue balloon hit Twilight on the back of the head and burst, soaking her. A red one hit her neck. A green one hit the middle of her back. A bright yellow balloon hit Twilight right in the face as she turned around to see what was going on.

Mustang Salvation’s aim was ruthless and several more balloons connected with Twilight Sparkle’s kisser. Mustang pulled up, banked, and rolled away as she prepared for another strafing run.

“Requesting bomber support, come in bomber support, we have a high priority target,” Mustang said as she leveled out. A wide, reckless grin split Mustang’s face. “Bomber support, please eliminate target. I will provide cover fire.”

Sideralis, now almost directly overhead of Twilight, turned off his telekinesis projectors. Several thousand colourful water balloons, now affected by gravity, all fell down at once. Sideralis giggled like an overgrown colt as he heard screams below.

Mustang rolled and then dove, her wings pumping. She let out a crow of triumph as she watched the thousands of water balloons plunge towards Twilight Sparkle. Twilight was about to get wet. She could see Twilight’s wide eyes and slack jawed expression. The alicorn was frozen in place by the stunning sight of all of the different coloured balloons all falling at once.

While the alicorn stared in wide eyed horror, other ponies were scattering, trying to get away from ground zero. Destruction was guaranteed and absolute. A few newspaper reporters were treated to the opportunity of a lifetime and they began snapping pictures.

Much to Sideralis’ shock and surprise, not one of his water balloons hit Twilight. He felt his organic-mechanical innards clench as a magenta glow surrounded each and every balloon that had been dropped. All of them halted in the air, suspended above Twilight Sparkle’s head.

“Oh shit… we’re fucked now… Sideralis… FLY!” Rainbow slapped Sideralis on the neck, trying to encourage him to go. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!”

With a flap of her wings, Twilight Sparkle took to the air, the water balloons held aloft in her telekinesis. The air crackled with dangerous energies. A whirlwind blew around Twilight, and she ascended, rising up, her horn glowing with a brilliant magenta flare. The balloons began to orbit around Twilight, forming a ring.

“Bomber support, we are fucked, I repeat, we are fucked,” Mustang said as she began evasive maneuvers. Mustang rolled as a bright red balloon went whizzing by her head, the first shot of many, and Twilight had thousands of balloons left to throw. “My one regret is learning that water balloon spell from Sweetie Belle!”

Hundreds of incoming water balloons filled the skies around Mustang and Sideralis. Rainbow Dash, riding on Sideralis’ back, screamed as she clutched his neck. The three ponies were all drenched on the very first volley and below, flashbulbs went off as pictures were taken.

Booming laughter filled the harbour as Twilight Sparkle prepared another volley…

Author's Notes:

You dun goofed...