“Have a nice nap?” Sideralis yawned as he heard these words. He looked up from his nest of pillows and saw Stout looking down at him. Something smelled delicious, spicy, it was something exotic, or what Sideralis imagined to be exotic. He had no real idea what exotic was, with most of his experiences being artificial.

Stout sat down on the floor beside Sideralis, reached out, and stroked his ears. “So… you like nesting, how would you feel about having a few eggs?”

Danger, darling! Danger! a voice inside of Sideralis’ mind shouted, a voice not his own. It was feminine, cultured, and sophisticated. Warning! Trouble! Evacuate! Sideralis looked up at Stout and felt something very much like terror. He let out a worried whinny.

“Oh calm down you silly one horned bird horse,” Stout smiled, stuck out her tongue, and then continued, “you are so much fun to tease. Are you hungry? Ready for some dinner?”

Sideralis nodded, yawned, and then gave Stout a wary look. “Need to use the bathroom first, I think.”

“I’ll help you up.”

Sweating, Sideralis chased a soft piece of cauliflower around his plate with his tongue. Curry, as it turned out, was one of the many cultural gifts exchanged between the Saddle Arabians and the Equestrians. It was also hot. Fluttershy insisted that she had made it gentle enough for a foal to eat, but Sideralis came to the conclusion that foals in this part of the world must eat lava. A rivulet of sweat ran from Sideralis’ ear down to his nose, dribbling below his eye and across his cheek as he tried to eat his last piece of cauliflower.

The yellow rice was wonderful, the lentils had been spicy, but tolerable, the chickpeas had almost caused him to spontaneously combust, but the curry had been pure liquid pain. Somehow, Sideralis had cleaned his plate, but he wasn’t certain that his tongue, his mouth, the inside of his cheeks, his throat, or his stomach would ever be the same.

His worst fear lingered in the back of his mind: What happens when the curry makes its exit out of my backside?

At long last, he managed to lap up the cauliflower with his tongue, his tail flicking once against himself as he did so. He lifted his head, chewed, feeling his jaw aching, wondering how he was going to survive the aftermath of this meal. Fluttershy and Stout weren’t even sweating, or sniffling, or anything else. They seemed unaffected by the plateful of Tartarus that each of them had eaten.

“The curry lacked something,” Stout remarked as she leaned over closer to Fluttershy, “I couldn’t taste anything… sorry.” She gave the mare who had raised her an apologetic glance.

“I had to make it bland so Sideralis could eat it,” Fluttershy replied, also looking apologetic, “I’m sorry Stout, I’ll make it up to you, I’ll use some of that green curry paste you like in a special batch just for us.”

“Has anypony told you that you are the greatest?” Stout smiled.

Fluttershy, her face turning pink, let out a wordless squeal and squirmed in her seat. She looked at Stout, both eyes misting over with pride, happiness, and joy. The sunny yellow mare began to sniffle, and it wasn’t from the bowel blistering heat of the curry.

Wisteria used to look at him like that. Sideralis wondered if the changeling had any feelings towards him at all, or if everything had been a lie. The thought caused a tear to trickle from the corner of his eye, something he could dismiss if anypony said anything, given how his face was already threatening to melt off and slide into a puddle on his plate.

As if Sideralis was not suffering enough, his brain provided further torture: Did Wisteria miss him or mourn his loss? Was she heart broken? Or furious that all of her hard work was for naught?

Darling… this angst and this depression does not suit you, the demure voice in his mind said, disrupting his thoughts. Do try to be a good pony and find your smile once again. The voice faded away, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Wisteria was a lot like Fluttershy, kind, loving, she had done everything to be such a good mother… at least that is what all of his false memories suggested. He felt another tear welling up and he could not tell if it was from the skull scorching curry or his own sorrowful thoughts.

NO! his own voice inside of his head shouted, echoing through his skull, Stout has shown more real love, kindness, and generousity in the short time that you have known her, and you need to acknowledge that!

Not so loud, darling, there is no need to shout… really!

Confused, Sideralis shook his head and stared at his glass of iced water that was flavoured with a few crushed mint leaves. Fluttershy had grasped Stout’s fetlock in her own and was giving it a squeeze while the two ponies looked into each other’s eyes. Love was a visible, tangible thing. He felt a tightness in his throat and didn’t want to say anything, fearing he would interrupt such a meaningful, wonderful moment of loving expression.

The memory of Stout kissing him filled his mind, leaving him feeling confused.

Stout was everything that Wisteria was not. She was real. Stout cared about ponies. Stout was a nurse, a good nurse, but more than that, Stout cared about ponies. She had given the entirety of her life over to the service of others. He thought of Rainbow Revival, Stout had given her whole body, her mind, and her soul to the project, and in doing so, had earned her cutie mark. Her generousity was unmatched. To give so much of one’s self and to ask nothing in return…

Oh, I do so agree, darling. Trust me, I know a little something about being generous. You have to give all of yourself and hold nothing back, otherwise, the magic won’t happen.

Sideralis ignored the voice in his head.

Dear, there is one thing she would never share though…

Breathing, almost panting, still on fire, Sideralis tried to get his lips around his straw so he could get a drink. It took effort and his tail flicked once, he was unaware of it even happening, but he got his lips around his straw and began sucking in water.

You, darling, she would never share you. She sees you as her reward, her consolation for giving up so much of herself. Sweetheart, she adores you… you make her smile… you make her laugh… and there is power in laughter… did you know that laughter is a form of magic all its own?

“Laughter is its own form of magic?” Sideralis asked aloud, his straw slipping from between his lips.

Letting out a startled meep, Fluttershy turned and looked at Sideralis. She took a deep breath, almost appearing to be in a panic, and then calmed a little. Her mane slipped down and covered half of her face.

“Laughter is a special magic all its own,” Fluttershy said in a low voice, speaking to Sideralis as she peered out at him through the curtain that was her soft, pastel pink mane. For a brief second, a pained expression clouded Fluttershy’s face, but then it passed. She offered a quivering, lip trembling smile. “Pinkie Pie was the Element of Laughter. She was a very silly pony… she was a dear friend of mine. She was always there to lift our spirits when things got hard.”

“Element of Laughter?” Sideralis, his head over his glass, looked at Fluttershy.

“Well, there was Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter. There was Applejack, the Element of Honesty.” Fluttershy paused just long enough to take a deep breath. “Rainbow Dash was the Element of Loyalty and I was the Element of Kindness… I suppose I still am, I guess.” Fluttershy brushed her mane aside with her hoof and peered into Sideralis’ eyes. “Rarity was the Element of Generousity and Twilight Sparkle was the Element of Magic. Together, we formed the Elements of Harmony, each of us embodying a small part of something greater.”

“A power greater than the sum of its parts,” Stout said.

“I… don’t understand.” Sideralis blinked a few times, trying to take all of this new information in.

“You’ve had a very long day,” Stout gave Sideralis a patient smile before she continued, “you’ve had your head filled with enough stuff for the day. I promise I will sit down and tell you everything I know, but later. Would you like a root beer?”

Overhead, a million stars twinkled. The moon was rising over the tall building across the way. Sideralis sat outside on the small balcony and Stout sat beside him. A gentle, balmy breeze blew in from off of the ocean, ruffling both of their manes and causing Sideralis’ ears to twitch.

Oooooh, darling, how romaaantic!

The voice inside his head was more like an annoying fly than anything else. Right now, Sideralis didn’t want to think at all, he wanted his brain blank and his mind silent. He was exhausted from thinking and there was too much to think about.

His brain hurt.

Really, it did.

It was every bit as fatigued as the rest of his body.

Oh, how dreadful, you have curry breath, a mint wouldn’t kill you, darling.

Feeling irritated, wishing for mental privacy, Sideralis thought about the times he had played with himself as a colt. The false memories were graphic, including the first time that he had ejaculated, blowing his load and sending a white stringy mess everywhere. He had thought that he had broken something. He had spent the afternoon panicked, unable to look his mother in the eye or even ask for help.

UNCOUTH!

After a moment, Sideralis had the strange, peculiar, and even unsettling feeling of being alone inside of his own head.

“You seem quiet.” Stout made her remark in a soft voice as she leaned against Sideralis, which in turn caused Sideralis to press up against the short section of wall and squishing him somewhat.

“I’m just tired,” Sideralis replied, not wanting to mention that he seemed to be haunted by the spirit of the Element of Generousity. Because he was over a head taller than Stout, even with them sitting down, he turned and looked down at her. Stout was a generous pony. He waited for some kind of internal dialogue, but the feeling of being alone persisted. Stout was a very generous pony. For whatever reason, Sideralis found himself in the company of generous ponies.

“Stout?” Sideralis felt the first prickle of fear in his stomach. He had a question to ask.

“What?”

“Stout, what if you were programed in some way to like me and you didn’t have a choice?” Sideralis closed his eyes and felt his guts begin churning as both fear and curry began to do a number on him.

“That’s quite a thought,” Stout replied, “but it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does.” Sideralis, feeling a bit foalish, tilted his nose skywards and let out a sniff.

“No. It doesn’t.” Stout let out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I’m happy, who cares how it happened. Choice, some kind of programming, who cares? I feel happy, peaceful, and content. I honestly don’t care how it came about.”

“But I do care,” Sideralis replied. He felt Stout tense up beside him. “If you can be programmed to be happy, that… that’s just as wrong as inhibitors. It’s fake. Artificial. It feels wrong.”

“Feels real to me.” Stout tilted her head and looked up at the stallion beside her, and as she was doing so, she saw a shooting star. Letting out a faint gasp, she made a wish. She thought about it for a moment, locking it away in her heart, and then cleared her throat. “I don’t think that love can be faked. Princess Cadance, who had powerful love magic, couldn’t make other ponies feel love for one another, she could only strengthen the bond that was already there, making it stronger.”

“Aren’t you concerned about your feelings for me being wrong somehow?” Sideralis asked, blurting out the words and being blunt. He could feel Stout breathing against his neck.

“Nope.” Stout’s voice was filled with confidence, there was not even the barest trace of doubt. The earth pony chuckled for a moment and then fell silent when she didn’t hear Sideralis chuckling or laughing with her. She heaved a sigh, wishing that this wasn’t an issue.

“So what is it then? What makes you so certain that your feelings are true?” Sideralis really hoped that there was a good answer; he needed it in the same way that he needed air, or plants needed rain and sunshine. He needed it so he could settle his mind and quiet his own doubts.

“Do you really want to know?” Stout asked. She looked defiant and a little bit angry.

“Yes,” Sideralis breathed, hoping that Stout had some magic words that would make everything all better.

“Faith.”

Faith? Sideralis felt himself deflating on the inside. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. Everything felt even more confusing and he felt his stomach lurch. His digestion was unhappy with the answer as well.

“Princess Luna made me a promise.”

Oh, here we go, Sideralis thought to himself and he tried not to roll his eyes. “Did you stop to think that Princess Luna might have made that promise and then might have made you feel a certain way so that you would feel happy with the results?”

“Why would she do that?” Stout asked, sounding hurt.

“I dunno.” Sideralis squirmed inside and slumped down, feeling just awful for hurting Stout. All she had done was be nice to him, bath him, look after his every need, feed him, even wiped his bum and sorted him out as his digestive system tried to sort out its many issues.

“Not all of us grew up with a lie. Not all of us grew up stuck inside of a changeling pod, being fed a steady diet of lies, half truths, and illusions designed to break down our wills, sap our strength, and shatter our spirits. Not all of us grew up with a need to be paranoid or question everything,” Stout said, still sounding hurt but now also irritated.

“What did she promise you?” Sideralis asked.

“None of your business, you paranoid jackass! I’m not about to bare my heart to you just so you can pick it apart and tear everything up because of your own paranoid insecurities!” Stout pulled away from Sideralis, leaving him leaning up against the wall, and then scooted several inches away. Turning her head, she glared at him, her sides heaving like bellows, each breath coming out her nostrils in heavy, heated snorts.

“I’m sorry.” Sideralis’ apology tasted like ashes on his scorched tongue.

“You should be sorry, you shit!” Stout waved a hoof around in an irritated gesture. “You don’t try to take away the faith of others, even if you don’t agree with it. Just leave it be… there is no need to try and ruin it just because you’re suspicious or paranoid! You just don’t try to take away the happiness of others, especially when it is that faith, that happiness, when those things are the very things that keep them going.”

Sideralis collapsed into the rail, his chin coming to rest upon it, and a terrible sensation of guilt flooded his mind, spilled over down into his body, leaving him feeling heavy and in pain.

“I am a real pony! I have dreams, hopes, and feelings! I am more than just a collection of synthetics and programming! I know what happiness feels like! I have faith, I have things I want for the future! I have desires, I want all of the sorts of things that any other mare would want! And my hopes, dreams, and feelings are no less real or valid than any other pony just because of what I am or by virtue of me being more machine than meat! I’m more than just hardware and my happiness, my hope, the emotions of my heart cannot just be dismissed or waved away as conditioned responses or programming!”

“Oh stars, I’m sorry… Stout, please, I’m sorry!” Sideralis cringed, his head resting on the rail, his whole body slumped over. He somehow managed to cover his face with his wings, smacking himself in the face in the process and almost bowling himself over.

“Sideralis, please, don’t get too upset, I’m sorry too.” Reaching out, Stout placed a hoof on Sideralis’ side, touching his ribs.

Thinking about his dream with Scootaloo, Sideralis sniffled and pulled his wings away from his face. He looked at Stout, but had trouble meeting her gaze, feeling ashamed, guilty even, for what he had said and done. “I guess faith is important to you… I… I know about the Rainbow Chapels.” He saw a surprised expression upon Stout’s face for a moment and then it faded away, becoming something else he didn’t recognise.

“We have a little chapel on The Ouroborus. I try to stop in there whenever I get a chance. When we’re here, I try to go as well…” Stout’s words trailed off.

“But with me around, it makes things complicated, trying to go off and do what you want to do because you don’t have time off because I’m a full time job,” Sideralis said, picking up where Stout left off. He saw her look away, her head turning and staring in the direction of a water tower on top of a building.

Sideralis, understanding that amends needed to be made for hurting Stout’s feelings, took a deep breath and hoped that Stout would forgive him. “We can go. Take me with you. We can go at any time, even tonight. You might have to carry me though, I’m still tired.”

“Really?” Stout turned and looked at Sideralis, her face hopeful.

Sideralis nodded.

“Thank you…”

Author's Notes:

Mmm, curry.

There will be consequences.