Even at night, the city of Maredina was full of light and life. Sideralis walked on wobbling legs, his tail flicking behind occasionally as he became unbalanced. He stared at everything, taking it all in, all while feeling the moonlight invigourating him. Globes of yellow light adorned ornamental poles that lined the street, turning the night into day. The streets were narrow and there was some traffic. A few cabs rumbled over the cobblestones, cabs pulled by earth ponies, but most ponies were walking.

Freezing in his tracks, Sideralis stared at a wagon moving under its own power with no pony pulling it. There was some kind of machine under the bed of the wagon, between the wheels, and a looped chain went back to the rear wheels and wrapped around a toothed gear that was behind the wooden spoked wheels. Cargo was stacked in the bed and it was driven by a sleepy looking unicorn that looked bored, bored to be operating a wagon that drove itself. It was like seeing The Ouroboros... or like seeing Stout and realising that she wasn’t just a pony. The wagon made an odd buzzy humming sound.

“The autowagon,” Stout said as she stood beside Sideralis. “Technology is leaping ahead. Twilight Sparkle and Mjölna helped to design it. Twilight got the idea from something she saw when she crossed through a mirror and went to some magical world on the other side.”

“It’s amazing.” Sideralis’ tail swished around his hind legs as he watched the autowagon go down the road, crawling along at a slow speed.

“Eh, wait till you see the monorail.” Stout gave Sideralis a nudge. “Come on… come home with me and I’ll give you root beer.”

“I’m not supposed to go home with strangers,” Sideralis said, invoking as much dry wit as possible. He turned and gave Stout a look. “That’s how you get abducted and bad things happen.”

Chuckling, Stout brushed up against Sideralis and then looked at Fluttershy. “He’s funny. And I don’t just mean how he looks, either. He’s just funny.”

Fluttershy began giggling as she continued down the road.

Staring, Sideralis saw a pony almost as large as he was. Tall, thin, she walked with supple grace and fluid movement. Her neck was long and her face was different, her muzzle being a fair bit longer.

“Saddle Arabian,” Stout said in a low voice. “They’re a bit more horse than we are. She’s pretty, ain’t she?”

Before Sideralis could reply, something in his brain sounded the alarm and shouted, “IT’S A TRAP!” Not long ago, he had just been kissed by a mare that could put dents into steel plates with her head. Instead of words coming out, which had the potential to shorten his lifespan, Sideralis whinnied.

The Saddle Arabian turned, smiled, and whinnied back before she continued down the road. Beside Sideralis, Stout frowned while Fluttershy giggled. Sideralis tried to prance, stepping high, but stumbled over his own forelegs and would have taken a tumble if Stout hadn’t caught him. The earth pony mare grumbled and gave Fluttershy a sour look as she helped Sideralis right himself. Sideralis’ wings gave feeble flaps as he tried to recover his balance.

“Showoff.” Stout made certain that Sideralis wouldn’t fall. The cobbles would rough him up pretty good with him being as big and as tall as he was. “Come on, let’s get you home, you big goon.”

Coming to a stop so sudden, Sideralis almost pitched forwards onto his face once more. His eyes went wide and he stared with an expression of wonder. In between two tall buildings, there was a small public park. As a colt, he had been fond of parks, but something about this one… this one was real. The green grass was damp with dew that glistened in the moonlight. Sideralis lurched forwards, his legs trembling like a newborn foal’s, and he dropped his head down. He could smell the grass. It was unlike the smell of grass in his memory. It was sweet, strong, it was different than the little patches of grass on The Ouroboros. This was cool and inviting. Sideralis nickered, then whinnied, and then, with a grunt, he flopped over onto his side, rolled over onto his back, kicked his legs up into the air, and began to scratch his back. He rubbed his withers and his croup over the cool, damp grass with reckless abandon.

Fluttershy let out a gasp and turned her head away. “Sideralis, please, we’re in public.”

Ignoring Fluttershy, Sideralis would not be denied and continued to roll around in the grass, he had horsie sized itches in his pony sized body that just had to be scratched, come what may.

“Sideralis, please, ponies are going to think you have bugs or something,” Fluttershy said in a pleading voice.

“Feels good,” Sideralis replied.

“Behold, the noble, regal, majestic alicorn… see how he rolls around in the grass like a common horse.” Stout sighed. “Come on, Sid, get up. Now you’ll need a bath when we get home.” Stout watched as Sideralis kicked his legs and she heard him wickering. He was enjoying himself far too much.

After one very enthusiastic kick, Sideralis farted.

Turning away, her cheeks taking on a pinkish tint, Fluttershy gasped, “Oh my.”

“Sid, come on… stop horsing around,” Stout begged.

“No, this feels good. Join me, Stout!” Sideralis wiggled over the grass, flopping and flailing around, all while whipping his tail around on the grass.

“You big dummy, you just asked me to roll around in the grass with you in front of my mother.” Stout rolled her eyes and then looked at Fluttershy. The yellow mare had her eyes closed and was squeaking with each breath she drew. Stout could not even pretend to be angry. At this point, she was struggling to hold back her laughter.

Realising that Sideralis was not getting back up, Stout bit her lip, looked at Fluttershy, and then, knowing that she was going to regret this, dropped into the grass to roll around with Sideralis. Much to her surprise, it felt good. It awakened something deep within her, something she had not felt for a long time. She got into it, grunting, and began to kick her legs into the air. She rubbed her croup and her dock against the grass.

This felt really good.

Oh did this ever feel good.

Something deep inside of Stout flared to life and it took her several moments to figure out what it was. As she rolled and kicked, she came to the understanding that she felt like a pony again. Doing this satisfied something deep within her, something primal and equine. Without meaning to, Stout whinnied, and she felt better. Somehow, she felt less artificial. Her flesh sang as the cool, wet grass rubbed against her pelt.

Beside Stout, Sideralis let out a bugling whinny and then went still, his body exhausted but feeling good. He lay with his wings spread out and his legs splayed out in all directions. He let out a satisfied snort and stared up at the moon.

“Fluttershy, you should join us,” Stout said.

“Oh no… Stout, I couldn’t,” Fluttershy replied, refusing to turn around and look.

“But Sid was right, this feels wonderful.” Stout wiggled her mechanically augmented bum against the cool grass and felt the night breeze trail over her feminine places. Stout, feeling wonderful, angled her head to look at Sideralis. Something… protruded from between his hind legs. For a moment, Stout struggled to breathe. Now she was feeling a little too good. Something about the wet grass, the moon, and the marvellous sensation of feeling like a pony once again had put her in quite a mood. She could hear that Fluttershy was almost hyperventilating and the yellow mare’s squeaks were increasing their pace.

“Um, Sid, I think it would be a whole lot easier on ‘Shy if you rolled over onto your belly for a bit,” Stout said in a low whisper.

“It would indeed,” Fluttershy squealed.

Sprawled in the grass, Sideralis became aware that he was… excited. He struggled, kicking his legs, and using his wing, he pushed himself over onto his side. His tail swished, whipping around his hind legs, and then he rolled over onto his stomach, feeling the cool, damp grass against his hot, fevered flesh.

“Thank you,” Fluttershy said, refusing to turn around or to even open her eyes. “Oh my poor little Stout, she’s too little… too little… too little.”

Stout felt her cheeks begin to burn. She wasn’t that little. And Sideralis wasn’t all that big. But he was hung like an earth pony, that was for certain. He was big enough to be intimidating. As the blush in her cheeks spread to the rest of her body, Stout understood why adoption held such a big appeal to Fluttershy; she was just too shy. Making her own foals would have been a near impossibility for her. Stout felt bad for the mare that had raised her. She made a mental promise to give Fluttershy a big hug and a kiss later, as well as a thank you for being a good mother.

“Mmm, the grass feels good,” Sideralis said to himself.

Nodding, Stout gave a whinny of agreement.

Almost home. Much to Stout’s relief, the little corner market near the apartment building was open all night and she had been able to get a gross of root beer. She was walking on three legs with the massive box filled with root beer bottles held in her telekinesis. She couldn’t even imagine what would happen if an alicorn had a drinking problem and she shuddered to think of how Princess Luna might tear through bottles of mulberry wine.

“Many of the ponies who serve on The Ouroboros live in this building. Twilight sometimes stays here, she has an apartment, but she tends to stay aboard The Ouroboros. Sometimes, we have to coax her away from the ship.” Fluttershy paused for a moment, shook her head, and then continued down the road. “I can understand how Twilight feels. The Ouroboros feels like home. It was our safe place, our refuge for a long time.”

Not knowing what to say, Sideralis let out a soft nicker.

The apartment was soft curves and rounded edges. The doorways had arches over the top. Many of the doorways had no doors, just a heavy beaded curtain. Coming in through the front door, one entered the living room, which was bisected and half of the open space was a kitchen with a stone tiled floor. The walls were a soft shade of brown, like a graham cracker. There were no sofas or couches, just piles of cushions on the floor in the corner. The dining table had no chairs, just cushions. In the middle of the living room floor was a shallow recessed pit filled with pillows.

The light fixtures were all stained glass and it threw beams of multicoloured light all around the room. Opposite the front door was a doorway with a beaded curtain. Beyond that was a hallway, a bathroom, and several rooms. At the end of the hallway, there was a door leading to the balcony, a perfect platform for a pegasus to land upon.

The decor was quite different than the Equestrian decor that Sideralis had been made to imagine. Something about this was exotic. He liked it. The tall arched doorways gave him more room for his height and his horn. This place felt like a palace.

Just as Sideralis was about to let himself tumble into the pit full of pillows, Fluttershy’s voice made him freeze in place. It was the sort of commanding voice that could make a cybernetic organism stop in their tracks and cease all activity.

“Don’t you dare… you… you’re all covered in grass! You and Creamy Stout need to go get cleaned up before you do anything, do you understand me?” Fluttershy gave Sideralis a hard stare, but not The Stare. “While you two are getting neat and tidy again, I’ll fix us something to eat. The kitchen is supposed to be well stocked for us. I think I’ll fix salad.”

“Remember, small pieces. Otherwise Sid might choke,” Stout said as she stowed away the gross of root beer and watched as temptation to fall into a pile of pillows almost put an end to Sideralis’ short, brief life. “He’s not very good at the chewing thing yet. It’s weird how his body is adjusting.”

“Stout, we need to work out Sideralis’ occupational therapy plan at some point.” Fluttershy watched as Stout put a few bottles of root beer into the refrigerator so they could get cold. “He’s made a lot of progress ahead of schedule.”

“Put chewing and swallowing on the list.” Stout’s lips curled downwards as she watched Sideralis’ wings flap. He was still thinking about diving into the pillow pit. Perhaps it was a pegasus thing and he wanted to make himself a nest. She knew that Fluttershy liked to make nests. “Come on Sid, let’s get cleaned up before the temptation becomes too great.”

The bed was much softer than his bed in the hospital section on The Ouroboros. It was the sort of bed that one sank down into. Stout’s room was spartan, with little in the way of furniture or decoration. There was a framed picture of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna on the wall, along with a Wonderbolts poster, but that was it. The bed was large enough for Sideralis to sprawl out in, without the need to fold up his legs or let his legs dangle off of the edge of the bed.

He felt Stout behind him, cuddled up against his back. She was breathing on his ear. He could feel her firm muscles against him. He thought of all the things he had learned about her, like her skin, which was amazing. Her skin had been changed, altered, to become more like the armored connective tissue that connected changeling chiton plates together. It meant that anything with fangs or claws would have to work hard to injure her. Her skull was reinforced and armored. She had special fluid around her brain that was similar to the fluid around changeling brains, allowing her to take even more abuse than a normal pony should be able to take. He had learned that Stout would eventually have both a horn and wings.

It had left him with one question: Would she be an alicorn?

She would have the appearance. Sideralis didn’t have a clear answer. Twilight Sparkle had wings and a horn, but she wasn’t an alicorn, at least not quite. Sideralis’ gut instincts told him otherwise. A conversation with Chrysalis had revealed that Twilight was undergoing changes. Her magic had grown stronger. Her earth pony nature was reinforcing her bones and making her stronger, but this was a slow, gradual process, a process measured in years, perhaps decades.

He had so many questions.

“Sid?”

Stout’s voice was little more than a ticklish whisper in his ear, which caused him to shiver. He felt little electric tingles coursing through his whole body and had a little spike of arousal. Sideralis replied, “Yes?”

“Rolling in the grass with you… it was weird.”

“How so?” Sideralis asked.

“I… there was a moment where I… I felt—” Stout’s voice broke, cracking with emotion, and she fell silent. She gripped Sideralis’ neck, holding onto him, clinging to him, trying to find the right words to say.

“Stout?”

“I felt like a pony again. I mean, I really felt like a pony again. It was like something inside of me woke up and I felt so good… I haven’t felt that way in a long time. I think I might be becoming too much machine. It’s like parts of me have gone numb. But, with you, I feel like I’m waking up. Feeling better. Like right now, laying here with you… this feels good. Just being with you.”

“I dunno what to say, Stout.”

“I just dismissed it all as necessary sacrifice. I gave myself over to the project, all of me, mind, soul, and body, because I wanted to help others. My cutie mark reflects that. But with each upgrade, with each surgery, with each change made, I became a little more… numb… I think that’s the right word. They gave me nociperception regulators that filter out pain. I can turn my ability to feel pain on and off. I don’t even need to sleep anymore, not technically, but I start acting a little weird if I don’t.”

Sideralis remained silent.

“But being with you, being glued to you like this… I’ve been feeling stuff again. And tonight in the park… rolling in the grass with you, I felt like a pony again. Looking back on it… I just couldn’t see it for what it was at the time… but looking back on it, I can see how important it was. How important it is. I have this fear that at some point, I’ll lose myself. I have these nightmares where I’m just a machine and I can’t feel anything at all. I have these nightmares about the future where the war is over and we’ve won and were tallying up the casualties and making memorials for the dead and I’m screaming at the top of my lungs that there are a whole bunch of ponies that died that they’re not counting, me and Mustang and all of the others that lost our ability to feel and gave up vital parts of ourselves so this war could be won, but nopony is listening and nopony cares. We won. And ponies like me are still alive, so why should anypony care… this nightmare makes me crazy. At the end of it all, we’re all thrown away, like so much scrap metal or junk, and we’re left to fall apart because we’re not wanted or needed, we’re a painful reminder of the war… we’re just… hardware that can be disposed of. Machines. Weapons no longer needed. I want to be more than a weapon.”

“Stout… do… do whatever it is that you need to do to keep those feelings alive,” Sideralis whispered. “You gotta resist going dead inside. I’ll help you, if I can. I’ll do anything, just ask… just talk to me.”

“Thanks, Sid.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Sid… me helping you… being your therapist, your nurse, and your companion, I think it’s helped me just as much as it’s helped you. I needed this. I need you. Don’t let me go dead inside,” Stout said in a low voice as she snuggled up even closer to the stallion beside her. “I’m still a pony. I’m real. I want to stay that way.”

“Maybe Mustang needs a roll in the grass.”

“You know Sid, you might be right. Maybe what we need is a reminder of what it means to be ponies again. Maybe you can help Mustang where everypony else has failed.” Stout heaved a sigh. “At least, I hope so. Seems like the only thing she feels now is rage. I don’t know how to reach her anymore.”

Author's Notes:

More is coming. My ability to type has slowed down a bit with the colder weather affecting my arthritis. It's causing me to make a lot more typos and my fingers are all fumbly.