Pinkie was excited as she hopped up the path towards Twilight's castle. Twilight had invited the girls over to play some kind of new game, and that was cool for two reasons. Firstly, that she'd be hanging out with her closest friends, which was hardly rare but always nice. Secondly, that Twilight was trying something new – much as Pinkie loved all her friends, she knew some ponies were just no good at doing anything new. It was really thrilling to see Twilight giving it a go.

As she got to the door, she wondered whether or not she was the first to arrive. She gave it a quick knock and then poked it open, craning her head around to have a look-see. She guessed she was the first one there, as the only sound was the pitter-patter of Spike's feet. “Just a second,” he called as he came into the foyer, “I'm comi- oh. Has that been open all day?”

“I dunno, I just got here. By the way, Hiya!” She held out her hoof for a bump, and Spike obliged her.

“Hey. We're upstairs in the smaller library, I'm just helping Twilight set up.”

“Oh, sure thing. I can help put together whatever this is.”

Spike peered around Pinkie back down the path. “Uh, hold that thought, I see Rainbow Dash and Applejack coming.”

As it turned out, Rainbow and Applejack had rounded up Fluttershy and Rarity. Pinkie waved hello four times as hard as she normally would, to make sure everyone got their fair share. When the girls had come all the way up the path, Spike lead them up to the Castle's Auxiliary Library. Once there, they found Twilight sitting at a table surrounded by strange books and sheets of paper.

Rainbow Dash gave the room a once-over. “Hey Twilight. Thought we were having some kind of game night tonight. You need some help clearing all your egghead stuff up?”

Twilight giggled. “Actually, Rainbow, this egghead stuff is why I called you all here!”

“Aw dangit, this was all a trick to make me do my taxes or something, wasn't it?” Rainbow folded her front legs and scowled at the treacherous books.

“Heh, not quite. This, girls, is Oubliettes and Ogres.” Twilight accompanied this declaration with a sweeping gesture, taking in the myriad of books, dice and loose sheets strewn across the table.

“Oh, that's nice.” said Fluttershy, “So what does that mean?”

“O&O is a roleplaying game. You all take on the role of adventurers in a fantasy world. I'll be the Ogre Queen. It's my job to build the world around you and fill it with monsters to fight and strange new places to explore.”

“But having adventures and exploring strange places sounds like the sort of stuff we do all the time.” objected Rainbow Dash. The others nodded.

“That's true,” admitted Twilight, “we're not exactly the target market. But you can still enjoy an adventure story, right? In fact, I bet you enjoy Daring Do and other books like that so much partially because you've been on real adventures.”

Rainbow shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. So you're saying this game is like a story you can share with your friends?”

“That's a very nice way of looking at it, Rainbow.”

“Well, alright, I guess I could get into that. So how does it work?”

“Well, to start with, each of you comes up with a character. Then, we get those characters together and you all go on adventures in the land of Graufalke.”

Rarity tapped her chin, deep in thought. “I don't think I've ever heard of that before.”

“That's because me and Shiny came up with it when we were foals. He was always more into the game itself, but I was fascinated by all the world-building. We've kept up with it over the years, and he always keeps me posted on anything major that happens in the games he runs up in the Empire.”

“Have you played it before yourself?”

“No, that always seemed a bit messy to me. I mean, it might do strange things to my carefully constructed world history, right? But for a while now I've been interested in actually playing rather than just writing. I mentioned it in a letter to Shiny a while ago, and he was really enthusiastic about the idea. I think he'd always wanted me to play, so he was happy that I was finally getting into it in the same way as him and Spike.”

“Oh, you've played?”, asked Fluttershy, relieved that at least one player would be going in knowing what they were doing.

“Yep!” beamed Spike, “With Shining Armour and his old group back in Canterlot. If somepony else was running, me and him would flip a coin to see who got to play the paladin.”

Twilight giggled. “Well, if you want to call dibs for this game, I don't think anypony will argue with you.”

“I'll say.” agreed Applejack, “I don't even know what a paladin is.”

“A paladin is a questing knight, embodying the will of one of the Alicorns. There's a lot of those in Graufalke by the way. At least 20.”

“So it's sort of like you when you used to be Princess Celestia's student?”

“Kind of, I suppose, but a paladin would have had a sword and shield, and would go around actively looking for trouble. Smiting monsters, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, so it's more like if Rainbow Dash was Princess Celestia's student.” Pondered Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash nodded proudly.

“In any case, it's all about to get a little bit Kuti Marx, because we'll be talking about race and class.” Rarity and Spike chuckled softly at this, but the others all looked blank. “Uh, in any case I've prepared lists of available races and classes here, along with a brief summary of each.” Twilight handed out six copies of the lists in question. Each player took one and sat back down, contemplating it.

Applejack sat deep in thought for a second before looking up from her list. “Could you pass me the proper book? I'd like a closer look at the rogue.”

“Certainly.” She floated the Player's Hoofbook over to Applejack's side of the table. “I must say, I wouldn't have expected you of all ponies to go for that.”

“Sure ain't my usual speed, is it? But you said yourself this was all about adventurin' and stuff, so I figured I'd go kinda the opposite of what I usually do.”

“Hee-hee!”, giggled Pinkie, “Imagine if we all did that? We'd end up with Rarity the barbarian!”

Rainbow pushed herself up in her seat and adopted a thick accent “Clothe your enemies! See their dresses before you! And hear the lamentations of the critics!”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, go and boil your rumps, both of you. I will play a barbarian! A Griffon barbarian, to be precise.”

“That's great!” exclaimed Twilight, “Now all you'll need is a name.”

Rarity rubbed one hoof under her chin in thought. “Hmm. What's a good name for a savage brute?”

“Blueblood?”, suggested Fluttershy.

Pinkie boggled. “Oh, wow!”

“Dang, girl!” Applejack offered a high-hoof. Fluttershy raised one hoof, hesitated for a second, and then took it, flinching as she made contact. She looked very proud of herself as she slid back down into her seat.

“In all seriousness, though, what do I name her? I'm a little out of my element here.”

“Ragna.” Said Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, Ragna Bloodaxe.” She flexed her foreleg muscles as she spoke.

“Ooh, I do like that.” Rarity jotted it down on her character sheet. “How did you come up with it?”

“I kinda didn't. The first name is from this Griffon sci-fi thing and the second name is from a comic book. You know, one of those ones that's obviously copying Spirit of Cimmeria.”

“I'll take your word for it.”

The table lulled into thoughtful quiet, and Twilight took the opportunity to pipe up. “Oh, one thing to bear in mind when you're making your characters is alignment. You've got nine options on a pair of axes between Lawful and Chaotic, and between Good and Evil. Try and make sure you fit together reasonably well.”

“Axes?” asked Applejack.

“Yeah, like Lawful Good or Neutral Good or Chaotic Neutral or what have you. You have to pick where your character falls on the alignment spectrum.”

“And what was that about evil?” asked Pinkie, “Who'd want to be evil?”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, I know you said this would be a new experience and all but I'm not sure I'm really into that.”

“Then don't play an evil character. Look, I know it's a little distasteful, but the whole point of the game is doing something completely outside your ordinary life. For some people, that includes being evil for a little bit.”

Rainbow Dash was absolutely incredulous. “And you're OK with that?”

“Sure! It's like characters in a book – they can't really do anything. I mean, Rainbow Dash, you've read stories about aliens invading Equestria, right?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Yeah, a couple.”

“And you enjoyed them?”

“Well, sure, some of them were pretty good.”

“But you don't actually want to be abducted by humans, do you? It's just a bit of nonsense and escapism, it doesn't have to mean anything.”

“If you say so, Twilight. I still think I'm going to stick to the side of Good. I know you all think I'm gonna just make a pony who's me, like with flying and speed and stuff, but I'm gonna do something new – I'll make an Earth Pony.”

Applejack nodded thoughtfully. “You know what, Dash? I'll swap ya. I'll make me a Pegasus.”

Twilight made a note behind her screen. “Well, OK then, that'll help keep things interesting. AJ, I know you'd like to play a rogue, but what class will you pick, Rainbow?”

“Rainbow Dash doesn't have any class.”, commented Rarity. The table, minus Dash, giggled while Pinkie mimed touching a hot stove.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Ha ha, Rarity.”

“Oh, that joke was inevitably going to come up at some point. Honestly, I couldn't tell if it would be used on you, Applejack or Pinkie.” Applejack and Pinkie shrugged at this, accepting the inevitable.

“But anyway, I wanna have some kind of combat role. These guys might get hurt without me to look after them.”

Twilight considered this. “In that case, have you considered a monk?”

“A monk? You mean like Clover the Clever?”

“No, more like those Kung Hoof masters who live up a mountain. You know, mastering their own body and hitting you in the chi.”

“OK, I can get into that.”

“Excellent, grasshopper. One thing to bear in mind is that as a monk, your access to weapons is kind of limited. You've trained well with a few, rather than training a little with a lot.”

Rainbow shrugged. “Makes sense. I guess a monk with a giant axe doesn't really work, huh?”

“That would definitely be strange. Also, one of the weapons you can use is nunchuks.”

As Twilight had expected, Rainbow Dash's face lit up like a foal on Hearthswarming. “Oh, awesome! I'm gonna be all wa-cha! Hi-ya! Chop-socky!”

“So we have a go on Rainbow Dash the monk, huh?”

“You bet! Hey, can I make my monk a ninja? 'Cause that's kinda like Kung Hoof, isn't it?”

“Well, they do share some similarities. And yes. You won't be a ninja master right out of the gate, but you can certainly develop into one.”

“Great. I am super on board for that.” Rainbow turned one of her sheets over, and began sketching a design for a ninja version of her cutie mark.

“Spike, you've been very quiet. Have you come up with your character?”

“Zebra, Cleric of Life, Neutral Good, Acolyte background. I'm still working on a name, but I'm thinking something with a lot of consonants.”

Twilight scribbled down notes, struggling to keep up with her assistant. “That's quite thorough.”

“Well, I have played this game before – not fifth edition, but enough to have the basic idea down. I was actually gonna go for a Nature cleric, because Reofax is probably the coolest Alicorn in the game, but we needed a healer.”

“Yeah, good call on both of those statements.”

At this point, they all rolled up their stats. Your author does not wish to bore you with a detailed description of 6 people rolling 4D6 and discarding the lowest, so you can simply assume that they all got a pretty decent result.

“What's this about a background?” asked Rarity. The other new players nodded and made inquisitive noises.

“Oh, we can deal with that when we get to it. Right now, let's focus on getting everyone up to having species and class. Pinkie, Fluttershy, would either of you like some help?”

Fluttershy was giving her sheet a double-check. “Oh, I think we're both done, actually. I'd like to be a Fighter. And looking at the weapons the book says I can have, I'd like to use a lance.”

Twilight nodded. “Sure thing! And what species will your fighter be?”

“Oh, Pegasus. I know we're all playing different types of people, but it says if I have a high strength I'm a good flyer, and I thought that might be nice.”

“OK then.” Another note. She looked up to face the last player to declare her character's race and class. “Pinkie, how about you?”

“I'm a Changeling!”

“I see. And what does your Changeling do?”

“Buzzer turns into things!”

“Well, yeah, but...you know...” Rainbow Dash made a vague gesture with her hoof.

“Wait. Pinkie, do you mean to say you're playing a Druid of the Moon?”

“Yep! And my goal in life is to travel the world to find all sorts of new and interesting things to turn into. Like, wouldn't it be super cool to be an octopus?”

“OK, great! That's the basics. Now, assuming you're all taking the quick-start gear your class has to keep things simple, all we have to do is backgrounds. Those start after the classes. It's pretty self-explanatory, really. You can either come up with your own character traits, or roll for them randomly.

“I've gotta say,” commented Spike, “this is all going much quicker than back when I used to play with Shining Armour and his other friends.”

“Well, they always insisted on using all the splatbooks, didn't they? That must really slow things down.”

Pinkie sat upright and stared at Twilight, eyes wide. “OK Twilight, I need you to tell me what splatbooks are, because they sound like my new favourite kind of book.”

“They're more properly called supplements. They contain extra material, new character options, more detail on the setting, that sort of thing.”

Pinkie deflated slightly. “Oh. Well, I guess that's pretty neat, but it's not as much fun as what I was imagining.”

Applejack patted her on the shoulder. “Well when you eventually get round to writing that cookbook, why don't you call it The Splatbook?”

“That's definitely going on the shortlist.”

Author's Notes:

And so begins the tale of a bunch of dorks playing an RPG.

Tabletop RPGs have been a passion of mine for some years now - I don't have the childhood experience of AD&D or 3.5 that many gamers do, but I've been into the hobby for a while, and what with Oubliettes and Ogres being a canonical counterpoint to D&D (and hobby of Shining Armour's), this seemed a natural story to tell.

I hope you all enjoy it, even if you don't play tabletop RPGs yourself - I'll try to keep the jargon limited. This chapter was always going to be a little heavy on it, because D&D is so focused around character creation. After they get their backgrounds and gear finalised in the first half of Chapter 2, the adventure proper will begin.