Rainstream’s hoof stopped inches from the door. She pressed harder, but it did little more than shake. Should she do this? Could she do this? A chill ran up her leg, and Rain looked back over her shoulder at Dragomena.

The gray pegasus let out an amused snort as a smirk crossed her face.

“You act like you’ve never been to a bar before.”

Rainstream tried to respond, but her throat locked up, and she instead made a strained face. Dragomena knew why she was nervous. She let her hoof fall and stepped back from the door, glancing up at the sign on the front.

It wasn’t really much of a sign, just the silhouette of a sideways barrel nailed to the trunk of a really big tree. The tree in question was actually the bar itself. The door sat between two of the roots of the tree. There weren’t any windows, so it was impossible to see inside. It was just as well. The thought of heading inside sent needles into every one of Rainstream’s limbs. It was a gargantuan effort just to lift one of her forelegs toward the door again, and she eventually gave up.

Dragomena rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Come on, mate. She’s alright. You’ll love her once you meet her. Come on.”

Dragomena pushed open the door, revealing… a room made of wood. As obvious as that would seem, there was really no other way to describe it. The two of them stepped into a carved out wooden room, with several wooden barrels scattered about to serve as tables, each of which was surrounded by three or four wooden stools. In the back, there was a wooden countertop, behind which sat a wooden rack with more wooden barrels on it.

Everything was even the same shade of color. It made Rainstream want to cry, seeing such an unimaginative color scheme. She quickly turned her eyes to Dragomena’s fuchsia mane, drinking in its bright hue. The door slammed shut behind them, at which Rainstream’s chest clenched up and sent a dagger through her heart. Her lungs suddenly felt very small.

“Crikey, mate. You look like you’ve seen Lucie.”

Rain’s gaze snapped to Dragomena’s eyes, which were also brilliantly pink. She also had a pink ascot. Her color scheme was rather unimaginative.

Dragomena was still staring at her, with a raised eyebrow. “You alright, mate? You said you wanted to do this.”

Rainstream shook her head and gulped back a breath. “I know, I know I just— ugh, this is not easy for me, okay?” she hunched over and wheezed in a quiet voice. “You know how I get around unicorns.”

Her friend let out a sigh. “Well, there’s no unicorns in here right now—funny enough.”

Rainstream blinked. “What?!”

She quickly scanned the room as she fought to control her fluttering heartbeat. Wings—wings—griffon—no wings… She squinted toward the pony at the bar with his back to them. As he finished off an enormous mug of frothy cider, his head tilted far enough back that Rainstream could see his smooth forehead. No horn either.

Rain took a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling the tightness in her chest relax. Once more, and at last she could breathe easily.

“There you go. Now you’re looking like yourself again.” Dragomena tapped her with a wing, and began trotting toward the bar. “Yeah, usually there’s quite a few unicorn patrons in here. It’s quite odd, actually.”

The pony behind the bar slid the earth pony what looked like his 15th mug of cider, then looked up at them. “Oh, hey Drago, what’s up?” Both of her hooves were busy cleaning one of Cidergut Mctrottingham’s used mugs, so she flared one of her wings in a substitute wave.

Dragomena waved back with a half folded wing as Rainstream ducked to avoid getting hit. “Hey Cloud. I’m just stopping by to visit a friend. Have you seen Cay?” She hopped up onto a stool and tapped the one next to her with a hoof.

Rainstream climbed up and stared blankly at the pegasus behind the counter. Her orange coat seemed dull next to the dark brown of the wood, but her crimson mane complemented it well, and her eyes were a stunning emerald green.

She set the mug in her hooves down behind her and picked up another one. “Oh, yeah, she was just in here before,” said the pony behind the counter “She had an appointment with a client, I think.”

“Ah, that explains it. Well, we shouldn’t bother her.” Dragomena tapped Rainstream again with her wing. “How about a drink, mate? On me. I don’t normally drink, but this seems like a fine occasion. We’ll head back over to the shipping labs when we’re done.”

Rainstream looked over at Dragomena, who smiled back enthusiastically. Rain closed her mouth, just realizing it had been open, and swallowed to spread some saliva over her dry tongue. It had been a decent flight from the lab, to the hilltop, to the cloud, and back down here. Rainstream glanced around the room again. Still no unicorns, and Cidergut Mctrottingham’s head rested on the counter as he lazily gazed up at his half finished… 23rd mug of cider! “I suppose,” she turned back to Cloud, “what have you got?”

Cloud quickly set down two more clean mugs on the rack behind her and turned around to face Rain and Dragomena. “Well, I’ll have to roll up another barrel of cider in a minute, but I’ve got some nice cherry brandy in the little keg at the end if you want to try it.” She pointed toward the other end of the bar to their right, where a small barrel half the size of the others sat on the shelf with a waxed cork in the end. “Just in last night from Dodge junction, up north.”

Rain’s eyes lit up at the mention of cherries. “Ooh, I’ve never gotten to try Cherry Jubilee’s famous brandy! Visited a few times, but never stopped for a drink.”

“So, will that be two rounds of brandy?”

Dragomena shook her head. “Just tap off the cider for me; I’m not a brandy kind of mare.”

After an hour of sipping brandy and exchanging tales from around /Pony/ville, Rainstream had relaxed considerably. Many stories involved a mysterious metal mare she had never heard of. She even found herself laughing as Drags told her about the time Blazing Star had gotten far too drunk at this very same bar.

“Okay, I think it’s time to go, mate.” Drags tapped Rain on the shoulder and made a quick swiping motion toward the door with her hoof. Rainstream nodded—a little too enthusiastically—and slid (ever so smoothly) off of the stool, nearly knocking over her three mugs in the process.

“Whoa, that stool is pretty tall,” Rain blurted out through a few giggles, as her hooves hit the deck. It tickled, somewhat like the tingle that ran through her hooves whenever she built a lightning storm. Actually, standing up was similar to cloudwalking. Rainstream blinked, and looked back at Cloud. “This is some goooood brandy, hehe. Remind me to get it next time we’re in here.” Cloud smiled briefly in response, and Rain turned back to Drags. “But don’t let me drink this much next time. I make really bad rainclouds when I’m drunk.”

“Noted.”

Dragomena opened up one of her enormous, super feathery wings and wrapped it around Rainstream as the two of them hobbled toward the door. Well, more Rainstream than Drago. Dragomena had only had the one mug of cider, while Rainstream had had… she’d lost count, but brandy seemed to be stronger than cider; Rain could hold her cider pretty well.

Just before they got to the door, it opened, and a pretty white mare with a golden sun for a mane… and a long pointy horn on her head… walked in.

“Astra! Hey, mate. Funny seeing you here,” Dragomena called to the newcomer.

The unicorn—who had been walking right past them completely unaware of their presence—stopped and looked back at Drags… and Rainstream. Her eyes and mouth opened in surprise. “Dragsy, hello there! Brought a new friend in I see.” Her face narrowed into a very suspicious looking grin.

Rainstream’s rump collided with the table behind her, and she was forced to allow her personal bubble to be violently popped by Astra’s horn.

“Oh, look, she’s already prepped and ready. I love it when they’re drunk.”

A vice clamped around Rainstream’s lungs and throat as the offending horn rubbed her cheek. As she strolled past, Rain’s tormentor flicked her tail up to bop Rainstream in the nose, then turned on her hoof and made a wide circle around. Rainstream almost didn’t feel it, but it still made her squeak and collapse onto the floor as her legs failed her.

“Oy, knock it off, mate! You’re scaring her!” Rainstream’s view was obscured as a curly pink tail swiftly slid in between her and Astra, which she might have been tempted to brush if she weren’t so focused on trying to melt into the floor.

“Whoops. Sorry. Didn’t realize she was such a filly~” came the voice from behind Rain’s fluffy pink shield.

“Well, now you know. Look, she gets nervous around unicorns, okay?—”

“Wh—”

“—Don’t ask. Just be a little gentler next time you see her, alright? It’s my bad. We were just off to see Tangy and the others. You can stop by later.”

The room appeared to get smaller, and larger at the same time, as the white unicorn who had no sense of personal space or manners stepped out from behind Drags, and stared at Rain under the table with eyes just as creepy as they’d been before. Rain could feel her heart pumping out of control as it struggled to squeeze blood through her constricted veins.

“Fine. I’ll come say hi… later~” She winked and licked her lips, then turned and trotted over to the counter, swinging her tail and wiggling her rump quite a bit as she did.

The table above her moved aside, and Rainstream quickly scrambled backward to escape her new attacker. The vice keeping her throat shut loosened a bit as she realized it was just Drags standing over her, looking more than a little worried.

“You alright, mate?”

Rainstream whimpered and nodded her head slowly. It was a lie, but what else does one say to that question? She glanced at the spot she’d been a moment before and noticed it was wet. She wiped a few tears from her cheeks. Wonderful. Now she was crying in public. Damn unicorns. They always ruined everything.

Drags moved slowly over to her side and slid a hoof under her. Rainstream could also feel one of Dragomena’s wings across her back.

“Sorry about that, mate. I forgot about the whole unicorn thing. Let’s get you up and back to Tangy’s. I’m sure she’s got something that will cheer you up.”

“Bananas!” exclaimed an orange pony with a curly orange mane from across the room as the door opened. Indeed, next to the orange pony, placed conveniently in front of a large camera (or was that intentional?) was a stack of bananas that reached all the way to the ceiling.

The room itself was not very large. Just your average size living room, with another door on the other side, and a small computer sitting on a short desk on the left wall, with large camera jutting out above it right in front of the… actually yellow pony and her pile of bananas. Her mane was still orange though. On the right side wall there was a large blue banner with a picture of a bluer pony, and the moon. Next to it was a little square with an orange circle and some writing Rainstream couldn’t quite make out.

“Whoa. What’s with the bananas, mate?”

Rainstream shuffled in next to Dragon. She had regained some stability on their long walk, but still needed her friend’s wing for support.

The actually yellow pony turned and waved at them. “Dragsy! Hi. We’re shipping fruit. Look, don’t these two make such a cute couple?” She held out two bananas, one of which had a tie painted onto it.

“Crikey,” Dragomena exclaimed as the two of them stumbled over to it. Well, Dragon stumbled over to it. Without her fine feathered friend as a stabilizer, Rainstream’s sense of balance went out the window. Somewhere between the door and the… floor… Rainstream took a look around at the room again. Note to self, watch where you’re going if you need another pony to keep you upright as is.

“Oh, cripes I’m sorry, mate!” Dragomena was at Rainstream’s side in an instant, nudging a hoof underneath her.

“Ow,” Rain murmured. The floor didn’t actually hurt that much, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

As Dragomena and Tangy helped her up—wait—Rainstream blinked as the realization of whose hoof she was touching hit her. The room vanished, and Rainstream’s vision honed in on the actually yellow face smiling inches away from her own. The room. The camera. The bananas. There was no mistaking it. She closed her mouth, swallowing the drool that had been threatening to escape her lower lip. Words found their way to her throat, and at last she spoke.

“Y-you’re that shipping pony from the cookie vlog!”

A brief look of confusion crossed the actually yellow pony who could only be the one and only Tangerine Cookie, the shipping master’s face. Then she smiled and nodded. “Yep, that’s me. Heehee, most ponies just call me Tangy. Nice to meet you.”

Rainstream made no further attempt to stand up, lying on her back on the floor as Drags and Tangy struggled to lift her. Maybe I could lay off the doughnuts a bit, Rainstream thought. She exhaled slowly, and reached out a sweaty hoof toward Tangy’s orange mane. There was one particular curl that always seemed to dangle lower than the others. She swatted it with her hoof before Tangy could realize what was going on.

“Heehee~”

Tangy cookie didn’t seem to mind the mane swatting, but she looked over to Drago after a moment.

“She had a bit much to drink, mate. We were waiting for Cay and I bought her a drink. I don’t think she’s had cherry brandy before.”

“Ooh, the stuff from that cherry farm up north?”

“That would be the one.”

“That stuff is goooooood.” Tangy’s grin looked so silly to Rainstream until she realized she was wearing one just like it.

A thought occurred to Rain. She scrambled to get to her hooves. After several failed attempts—all of which she blamed on the same offending banana—her hooves found the floor and her mouth found words. She grasped the actually yellow mare in front of her with surprisingly well coordinated hooves and held her close until their noses touched, then breathed the words her heart wished to scream:

“Hey, could you ship me with somepony?”

The orange eyes in front of her stared blankly for a moment, then blinked. Rainstream put her hooves down… and then lowered herself onto the floor. She glanced back at her wings, which seemed to be flapping of their own accord. After folding them neatly against her side, Rainstream turned back to the pony in front of her.

“Hmm, well, it’d be best if you filled out the shipping form first. The whole point of it is so we can get an idea of your personality and interests and figure out who best to ship you with…Hang on just one second.”

She turned around and pulled open a drawer. Rainstream squinted and leaned forward over her shoulder, but couldn’t make out anything in the drawer beyond a few stray bananas.

“Got it. Here.” Tangy pulled out a sheet of parchment and a quill and slid it across the desktop. Rainstream leaned back just a bit from the actually yellow mare’s over exuberant smile, craning her neck to read the parchment. It was a simple questionnaire, but the questions hardly seemed in depth. Rainstream puzzled for a moment over the answers.

“Hmm, how would my special somepony describe me? That’s a weird question. I don’t have a special somepony, but I guess they’d probably mention how much I love the rain.”

Tangy was processing everything as Rainstream mentioned it. “Hmm, I guess we could ship you with Rainy. She’s a pegasus too, and you both like rain. Perfect!”

Just then, the opposite door flung open to reveal a robotic equine figure standing juxtaposed against the setting sun. Rainstream stared wide-eyed at the spectacle for a few seconds, then the figure strolled into the room. As it moved into the light, Rainstream noticed a set of very real looking eyes behind its faceplate, yet there was nothing else organic about its equine body. Even the horn—oh geez it has a horn—on its forehead was made of crystal. Rainstream’s wings opened slightly and her eyes shifted between the crystal horn and the door. Then, with a series of mechanical whirs and squeaks, the perplexing metal mare’s plates slid inside themselves, folding over each other until it just… vanished. Rainstream blinked. Surely it couldn’t just vanish? But she would not get an answer, for standing where the metal mare had been was a blue unicorn!

“Hey guys,” it said, waving a very non metallic hoof.

The room slid forward, carrying the blue mare away from Rainstream, and at the same time Dragomena and Tangy materialized in front of her. The sudden movement made it feel like her head wasn’t keeping up with her body, like she was swimming in something. Dragomena and Tangy let out a cry of surprise.

Then Drags seemed to realize the cause of Rain’s plight. She smiled forcefully and turned toward the newcomer.

“Oh, hey there, Cobalt. Um, think you could remove your horn for a moment?”

The blue unicorn blinked, then looked up at its horn as though just noticing it were there.
“Huh? Well, sure, I suppose.” She reached up and pressed both hooves into it, then twisted. There was an audible click, and then the blue pony began—Rainstream’s heart stopped—sliding the horn out of her head, and it just kept coming! At the base of the horn was a long, thin shaft that extended further into the blue mare’s skull, and judging by the length of it, it went right to the center of the brain. Finally, all ten inches of it was removed, and the mare held it in her hoof. She shook her head, blinked, then smiled at Rain and the others.

“Whoo. Been awhile since I’ve had that off, don’tcha know? So, who’s our new guest?”

With her horn removed—Rainstream shuddered at the idea—Cobalt looked a lot more welcoming. The hole in the front of her skull was a bit discomforting, but it was better than a real horn. After stepping out from behind Tangy and Drags, Rain noticed the horn was actually a cobalt crystal. Go figure. The aptly named mare had a mane and tail that matched the look and texture of her artificial horn, as well as its color. Everything about her except for her eyes was a stunning cobalt blue.

After scanning the rest of the… not unicorn(?)... Rain’s attention snapped back to the fake horn. It may not be a real horn, but she wasn’t letting that thing out of her sight anytime soon.

When Rain was silent for a moment, Dragomena spoke up for her.
“This is Rainstream. She’s a weatherpony from Applewood whom I’ve been writing to every now and again. She’s on vacation right now and I told her I’d introduce her to the Cookie Sisters. She’s a big fan of the vlog. Apparently you’re pretty popular.”

Cobalt’s eyes widened at the mention of the vlog, and she took a step closer to Rainstream. “Oh, a fan. Nice to meet Y—”

As soon as Cobalt’s hoof hit the ground, Rain’s hooves skirted her around behind Dragomena and Tangy again. She peered out warily from behind Dragomena’s mane. Horn or no, this was going to be a little difficult.

“She’s also really shy around unicorns.” Drago said with a wince.

Cobalt stopped. “Unicorns, huh? Is it the magic? I don’t have any y’know?”

Rainstream’s eyebrows nearly hit the roof. “Wait, really?” No Magic? She scooted out from behind Tangy and Dragomena, but moving still seemed to make her head swim. In fact, Rain almost had to lean on Drags as she walked around to face the now hornless unicorn.

“Well, sorta. I still produce magic, but without my horn I can’t use it. The crystal is just a reactor that transforms it into useable energy so it doesn’t blow my brains out after a week or so.” She held out the crystal reactor toward Rainstream. It didn’t appear so menacing not being attached to her head, but it still made her stomach queasy. In her attempt to move closer, however, Rainstream realized she was more drunk than she’d thought as she nearly toppled over just stepping around Dragomena. She never made it to Cobalt, either, because the door opened once again, and in her attempt to look, Rain forgot where she was placing her hooves.

“Whoa!”

The newcomer took a moment to survey the room, gave a nod to Cobalt, and trotted further into the room. Rainstream made no attempt to get up, content to lay on her back with her wings spread out. The bristles of the carpet tickled her feathers, and if she wriggled just right, she could scratch that one spot on her back that she could never seem to reach.

“Good evening, girls. Shipping fruits, I see.” She glanced down at Rainstream as she walked past, then lit up her—horn! Rainstream’s wings snapped to her sides and she scooted herself away from the intruding unicorn. A banana lifted itself from the stack and followed the unicorn as she came to a stop in the middle of the room, right next to Cobalt.

“And who, might I ask, is our fine feathery friend here? I can’t say I’m complaining about the expression on her face, but I do like to know who it is I’ve terrified with my very presence, and why.”

Rainstream’s breathing came in rapid, ragged breaths. She had told herself she could do this. Tangy and Dragomena cast worried looks at her as she continued to scoot backward along the floor. Her head bumped into the wall behind her, cutting off her retreat. She scrubbed her hooves along the floor, but to no avail. Tears rolled off her cheeks and mixed with the sweat running through her coat. As if reading her thoughts, and disregarding them completely, the unicorn set down her banana and trotted directly toward Rainstream, who squealed and tried to become part of the wall behind her.

“Oh, now do stop that crying, dear. I must say I’m used to the squeals, but tears are most unbecoming of a lady. Allow me to introduce myself, I’m—oh?”

Dragomena had come to her rescue. She tapped the newcomer on the shoulder, distracting her for a moment while Rainstream made a break for the door. She made it about as far as the opposite wall before she collided with it and fell over clutching her head.

“Ow!”

“This is my friend Rainstream,” Dragomena explained behind her. “She’s visiting from Applewood, and is a big fan of your cousins’ vlog. She’s the pony I mentioned to you last week?”

“You mean the one who likes—”

“Yes, and the one who’s VERY uncomfortable around unicorns.”

There was a pause.

“Ah, I guess that would explain why Cobalt’s horn is removed...”

The room grew silent. Rainstream focused on the pain in her head to block out… everything else. She knew she was drunk, and hurt, and crying on the floor. And she didn’t care. As long as that thing didn’t come anywhere near her.

“Ooh. I almost forgot!”

Somepony grabbed Rainstream from behind and lifted her into the air.

“Waitwhat? Putmedown!” Rainstream kicked her legs frantically as she found herself facing the two unicorns in the room. “Nonononono STOOOOP!”

Attempting to retreat into her own skull earned Rainstream little more than a headache as she was thrust toward Cobalt completely against her will. Her wings did little to impede her flight as she had a brief image of a blushing blue face and wide blue eyes before the two of them crashed to the floor in a very compromising position.

“I promised I would ship you with somepony. Um…

Rainstream struggled to keep up with her lungs, and the pony beneath her seemed to be getting less blue by the second. To call the silence in the room awkward was an understatement, as it made Rainstream’s heart rate just as loud as her breathing—which was beginning to sound a lot more like wheezing. Rainstream’s eyelids got really heavy after that. Actually, the room was just turning black. She collapsed onto the pillowy pony beneath her, forgetting all about… yeah, she’d forgotten. Rain blacked out with the biggest, stupidest grin she’d had in a while.