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The Many Complications of Interspecies Romance

by HapHazred

Chapter 3: Fishes

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The letters were beginning to pile up on Twilight's desk. Some of them were letters regarding friendship. When she thought about what an authority she had become on friendship since her arrival, she smiled. But those weren't the majority of the letters.

Most of them were regarding her recent lectures and speeches about the Universe Theory of Elasticity... a theory she had taken great steps towards explaining and even proving. She was so close... and it was all thanks to the Pursuit Informatio.

"If force of habit is the most powerful force in the universe... then realistically, at the beginning of time, any manner of things could have happened. Gravity might not have worked the same way," she said to herself whilst writing down her thoughts on paper. "When you drop a ball, it only goes down because that's what it's always done... like a bad habit, it can't stop itself."

So what, Twilight wondered, would happen if the universe broke a habit?

Just about anything, right?

The elasticity of the universe stretches to accommodate things that it doesn't like... but the less it likes them, the harder you have to pull. No wonder change comes slowly: the very fabric of the universe is holding it back, she thought.

Twilight looked over at the Pursuit Informatio. She had one more experiment she wanted to try... one that she hadn't dared attempt.

Her hoof hovered over the book.

"Perhaps later," she said.

"Ow!" Rainbow exclaimed, her hoof covering the top of her head in an effort to protect it. "Stupid... whotsit!"

Applejack's ears flickered at the sound of Rainbow's cry of pain, and she turned towards her partner. She was nursing a brand new bruise on her head, and a small piece of roofing lay at her hooves. "You all right there, sugar?"

Rainbow kicked the piece of roofing tile angrily. "Yeah, I'm fine. Y'know, aside from the big bump on my head because your house is falling apart."

Applejack looked up at her roof with a critical eye. "It looks like it always done," she said.

"Yeah, it does. That's exactly the problem. This house is a death-trap: I've had three separate accidents in the past week."

Applejack shrugged. "Maybe you're just a bit clumsy?"

Rainbow's face contorted beyond what anatomy should allow for in order to convey exactly how livid she was becoming. "I just hurt my head, and now I'm clumsy?!"

Applejack sighed. "Okay, okay. Let's get you some ice first, and we'll get back to fightin' later," she said, trotting towards Rainbow. "Time out?"

Rainbow imitated a kettle about to boil, fuming and wobbling, about to burst. After a moment, she calmed herself down, and got to her hooves. "It better be really good ice."

"I can promise you really cold ice," Applejack replied. Rainbow grunted.

"It's a start."

The pair made their way inside, Rainbow still prodding and rubbing the big purple bump on the side of her skull. Once they got to the kitchen, Applejack tossed her a bag of ice they kept for drinks and storage. Rainbow quickly slapped the wet, cold bag on her injury and sat down.

"You still look pretty upset," Applejack commented. Rainbow grunted, and held up her hoof: there was a large plaster sticking to her fur. She then pointed to her hind leg, where another bruise has spread across her shin.

"It's just this place has become a real battlefield lately," Rainbow said. "How long until the trees start eating me whole?"

"Trees don't eat ponies," Applejack retorted. "In fact, nothing eats ponies. Not a lot, at least. We're pretty much at the top of the food chain around here."

Rainbow chuckled. "Yeah... you're right about that." She adjusted her bag of ice in a businesslike manner. "It's been, what, twenty years since the last actual hydra casualty? Anyway... I didn't just come down to the farm to get my head bashed in and chat for a bit. I actually had a reason this time."

"Had to happen eventually," Applejack replied.

"I couldn't help but notice that it has been well over a year since we started hanging out in private and doing private things," Rainbow said. "And somepony... not that I'm pointing hooves... might have completely forgot until now."

Applejack's heart sank in her chest. "Well... you forgot too!"

"That's why I'm not pointing hooves. Hooves are pointed at the ground," Rainbow replied. "Anyway... I managed to wrestle a favour from Thunderlane..."

"What'd you have to do?" Applejack interrupted.

"I just said. Wrestle. Anyway, he knows a stallion who knows a mare who knows a griffon who owns this nice little restaurant out in the country, about an hour away," Rainbow said. "And I thought that nothing could be cooler or more awesome than a seriously expensive meal followed by looking at stars and stuff with a bottle of wine or three."Rainbow lifted the ice-bag from her head and stroked her bruise for a second. "You in?"

"Rainbow," Applejack began, "you have a way of makin' a romantic evenin' sound a trip to a hoofball game." She grinned. "'Course I'm in."

Rainbow grinned. "Sweet. Also, I have a thing for you."

Applejack's eye raised. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," Rainbow went on, and searched her wings before she pulled out a small cardboard box. "I got this from an old buddy's buddy. I thought it could help with your not-being-an-Earth-pony-any-more problem."

She tossed it over to Applejack. She looked at it for a moment, then tore it open with her teeth, revealing the sleek, shiny metal body of a harmonica. Applejack chuckled.

"I ain't seen one of these since I was a kid. I thought you only found 'em down south."

"Well, I figured that the only thing more Earth pony than a cowpony playing a harmonica at sunset around a bunch of trees is... well, it's very Earth pony, that's for sure."

Applejack smiled. "Well, that's one thing, I suppose. But I ain't makin' much progress on the other fronts."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Did Twilight give you an earful last time she checked your magic thingie?"

"Not quite an earful. Apparently, me bein' open to ponies layin' eggs and all that just messed it up more."

Rainbow groaned. "This is ridiculous. What? The closer we get, the more messed up you become?"

"Something like that," Applejack said. "Then Twilight began babblin' about rubber bands for some reason."

"But I haven't started to feel weird. I can still touch clouds fine, and I'm flying faster than ever."

Rainbow tossed the bag of ice back in the freezer, a deep frown creasing her face. Applejack twirled the harmonica in her hooves.

"Well, thanks. I'll make good use of it," she said. "In fact, I could bring it to our little date this evenin'. Have some music to go with the starlight."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, sounds cool. The night sure does get quiet. Y'know, aside from the crickets and the leaves and stuff. It's actually pretty noisy."

Applejack snickered. "Sometimes, yeah." She looked back out the window at the rows upon rows of apple trees outside. "Listen, sugar, I'd love to stay and chat, but I got work, and I'm guessin' you do too."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, if you're going to bring that up..."

"I guess I am," Applejack said, and gave Dash a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks so much for the harmonica. And the date."

"Pshht. I'm only in this for the awesome meal," Rainbow replied with a sly smile. "It's not like I l— like you, or anything."

Applejack snickered. "Well, I'll meet you here at...?"

"Six."

"Six it is, then." Applejack trotted out the door. "Don't be late, sugar'."

Later, when Rainbow was safely in the skies, hidden amongst the clouds, she let out a long sigh.

"Jeez. Almost let out the L-word," she muttered to herself. She rolled onto her back, playing with a small tuft of cloud. "Don't want to let that one slip before this evening, do we, Dashster?"

"No, of course not," Rainbow replied. "Then we'd blow the whole meaning of a super-sweet date, right?"

"Exactly. So keep your bodacious mouth shut until then, okay?"

"Hey, sure. Whatever you say."

"I do say. Anyway, we have, like, a dozen cumuli that are in completely the wrong place because somepony got the map upside down."

"Hey, it wasn't me."

"Yeah, I know. I was there," Rainbow snapped. She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, let's fix it up before six. AJ admires punctuality, after all."

Applejack rolled the harmonica in between her hooves as she thought. She wasn't usually a slow thinker. She liked to react to things quickly, and deal with them before they got out of hoof. But not Rainbow... no, Applejack took her time with anything to do with Rainbow. Some things deserved a little more thought.

"Three accidents in a week ain't right," she muttered. "She mustn't be suited for farm life." She chuckled. "Maybe she shouldn't have moved in so soon. Give 'er time to get used to all the tools and dangers lurkin' around." Applejack then snorted loudly, dismissing any worry or concern she might have had. "Pfft. What am I, her ma? She's a tough pony. She'll figure it all out on her own, I know it."

Applejack gave the harmonica a quiet blow, and the metallic sound flooded her ears, bringing back a wealth of memories from years gone by. Evenings sat on an older pony's lap as soft music played, and the scent of apples filled the air. Applejack closed her eyes.

"Thanks, sugarcube," she muttered, and got back to work.

Six o'clock came slowly, and when it did, it looked and felt more like eight o'clock.. The sun had gone down early, and the pinkish-orange light basked the countryside in a magical, natural light.

Applejack felt the heavy weight of the harmonica against her skin. It made waiting feel different than usual, somehow. She had spent a lot of her time waiting for Dash in the past. First, her stomach was a battlefield for butterflies as the excitement of discovering romance began. Then it turned into a comfortable, but heart-warming sensation that overtook her. A wave of happiness in the middle of an ocean. Lately it had felt quieter, less important, but still beautiful. It was like going home.

Not today. Today felt special, and Applejack didn't know why.

One gust of wind later, and she smiled.

"Okay, AJ... ready to head out?" Rainbow asked.

Au Trot was, much to Applejack's surprise, not a grand, expensive gold-plated restaurant. In fact, was more of an airy cottage than one of the temples of fine dining she had expected from pictures and Rarity's tales. It was outside, mostly, with grapes and vines hanging overhead. Candlelight illuminated the light wooden furniture just enough to see both the meal and her partner, but very little else. The breeze rustled through the trees and insects chirped in the distance.

She imagined this is what Sweet Apple Acres would be if it was worth a million bits. Homely, but one visit would be worth a holiday.

"Pretty sweet, huh?" Rainbow commented. "This is my first time here, but my manager says they do a mean corn-steak."

Applejack nodded. "It's pretty special," she admitted. "We should come here for some of our other fake anniversaries."

"Or we could remember the real ones next time," Rainbow said. She flicked open the menu with her hoof. "Oh, by the way, there are, like, loads of cool things in here, so take as long as you want to choose."

Applejack raised her eyebrow. "As long as I want, huh?"

"Well... not too long," Rainbow admitted, realizing what that might entail. Waiting was not her forte.

"I thought so," Applejack said, and began browsing the menu herself. "This place sure is wonderful," she commented.

As a nearby waiter approached, Rainbow grinned. "Drinks?" she asked. Applejack nodded.

"Plenty."

Rainbow quickly ordered their finest wine, with a grin that would make a maniac with too much money jealous the whole while. Applejack reckoned this was the first time she was really cut loose and unleashed the full might of her spending money on anything. Applejack was well aware how much disposable income Rainbow had. Her job came with a significant amount of benefits.

When Rainbow went back to scanning the menu, she gave a small yelp of surprise. "No way! They have western pegasi meals!"

"Are they rare?"

"You never see them on the surface. I mean, down here," Rainbow said. "So, yeah. I haven't had a traditional meal for years."

"Huh. Well, why don't you get one?"

Rainbow nodded. "I will. It'll be fun."

Applejack smiled. "I'm tempted by the oak-smoked southern vegetables, myself."

"Sounds sweet," Rainbow said. Her eyes glazed over as she seemed to take her time to think through her next few words. Applejack caught the expression and raised her eyebrow.

"You good?"

"I'm... uh, well, there's a reason I did this little not-really-anniversary thing," Rainbow said, folding the menu over. "It's, um, just that, ah..."

"Spit it out," Applejack said, her voice edged with humour. "I didn't know I was on a date with Fluttershy."

"Shut up, I'm talking. So, well, we've been through some tougher things than we expected, right? You've had your weird 'condition', and then we moved in together, which made things even weirder. In fact, the things you Earth ponies do are beyond me."

The waiter approached their table with the silence of silk. "Your order, ladies?"

"The southern vegetable board," Applejack said. "And then the potatoes with daffodil butter. Thanks."

"I'll take the fruits de mer salad and the grilled halibut with peach and pepper salsa," Rainbow said, before returning her attention to Applejack. "Well, it's been some weird mix of awesome and scary all at once, and there were at least five moments when you could have ditched me and that'd have been legit. I mean, we're not exactly similar, right?"

Applejack was about to comment on their competitions and stubbornness, but Rainbow went on regardless.

"So, I guess what I'm saying is I'm super-glad you didn't. 'Cause... I think I really lik— love you, and I'd like for us to keep being together."

Applejack swallowed. Her eyes felt dry from keeping them open so long, drowning in Rainbow's gaze. Her throat felt dry as she held her breath, suffocating from Rainbow's declaration.

"I didn't think you'd be the type to go for fancy confessions of love like this, sugar," she said. Rainbow shrugged.

"It's a special day, right? It's our fake-aversary. I figured I'd make an effort."

Applejack snickered. "That's real sweet," she said. "I—"

"The vegetable platter?"

Applejack's eyes were drawn towards the tall, impeccably dressed waiter. "Oh, uh... that'd be me," she stammered. "That was mighty quick."

Another well-to-do pony approached Rainbow. "We aim for excellency," he said. To Rainbow, he added "The wine, ma'am."

"Aw, yeah!" Rainbow exclaimed. "Bring it."

Rainbow made a magnificent display of smelling the wine and swirling it around the glass before tasting a small amount. To everypony but Applejack, she looked like she was taking it incredibly seriously. Then again, maybe the waiters did know she was making fun, and simply remained quiet about it.

Or maybe she was taking it seriously. Applejack had already been surprised twice that day, after all.

"Awesome," Rainbow declared. "That is definitely wine."

"Very observant, miss," the waiter replied. "And your salad?"

Applejack peered at the bowl of strange fruit and plants of the like she had never seen before. She widened her eyes. She hadn't seen any fruit with dark black shells or pinkish colours, and certainly not that shape. She burned with curiosity.

"That pegasus food?"

"Yup," Rainbow replied, breaking one of the... things... out of its... shell? "To be honest, though, you probably won't like them."

Applejack gave the fruit one last look before tucking into her own meal. "You're probably right. I ain't really the adventurous sort when it comes to dinner."

Rainbow snorted, still scooping out the insides of one of the black things. "You've done a few adventurous things."

"Not at the dinner table, though," Applejack retorted. Rainbow smirked.

"There was that one time, though..."

"We ain't talkin' about that," Applejack replied, murder in her eyes. "If any of my family find that out there'll be hell to pay."

Rainbow grinned ear to ear. "Jeez, this is delicious."

"You look like you're enjoyin' it," Applejack said, before a question hit her. "Tell me, what kind of a vegetable is a 'halibut'?"

"It's not actually a vegetable," Rainbow replied. "It's a type of fish."

Applejack practically spat out her vegetables at the mention of the word 'fish'. Wiping her mouth she spluttered "Fish? As in, the animals that live in the sea?"

Rainbow kept on chewing whatever it was she was eating. Applejack began to get a nauseating suspicion regarding what 'fruit de mer' might be.

Her attention was drawn to Rainbow's teeth, which had always seemed sharper than her own. Her eyes fell to the squishy, messy grease that got slurped down her gullet. Her ears became attuned to the sound of gristle crunch and slide against Rainbow's molars and gums.

"Yeah. Those ones," Rainbow replied, picking up one of the oddly shaped pink things. She snapped it open, revealing its white, gruesome insides. What might have been a face twisted and groaned from the stress.

Applejack's stomach turned. "You mean live animals?"

Rainbow began to frown. "Yes, I mean fish. What's so hard to understand about it? pegasi, griffons, and hundreds of other species eat fish."

The whitish mess crunched as Rainbow snapped it up. The hollow, empty coffin of a carcass fell back to the plate.

Applejack's reaction was quick and unthinking. "That's monstrous!"

Applejack was wide-eyed and wild. Shock and disgust were bludgeoning her ability to reason, impairing her thought process and hiding the expression of hurt Rainbow returned. "Hey! It's not..."

"It ain't right," Applejack went on, her brain still scrambled by years of respecting animal life, whatever that life might be. "Animals have just as much right to live as we do!"

"What, and plants aren't alive either?" Rainbow retorted. "You're the one who keeps on naming your trees and treating them like they're 'real', but as soon as you need a new barn, it's out with the axes and down with the orchard."

"That's completely different! Plants and trees aren't smart enough to be aware!" Applejack rationalized. Rainbow's frown went from surprised and hurt to angry.

"What, and fish are intellectuals? Hey, here's a thought," she snapped, "ever wonder where Fluttershy gets her food for birds and beavers? Or her bears?"

"They're animals," Applejack replied. "It's their natural diet."

"Well, I'm an animal too," Rainbow growled. "And I hate to break it to you, but fish is part of a pegasus’ natural diet. We spend weeks flying over..." Rainbow caught Applejack's unmoving expression, and ground to a halt. "Y'know what? I can't believe you'd do this today."

Rainbow shot to her hooves and spun to leave, leaving Applejack flinching at her furious motions. Each feather bristled, and her hooves trembled with what seemed a cross between anger and devastation. Before she left, Rainbow snatched her plate up and took it with her.

Applejack was too shell-shocked to make a sound.

Spike yawned. Seven o'clock was late when you woke up near five in the morning. As far as the little dragon was concerned, now was the time for beds, pyjamas, and the soothing sounds of the night sailing him to dragon-dreamland.

The clock tick-tocked as he trudged up the crystal stairs. First things first: he'd tell Twilight he was heading to bed. If he didn't, who knows if she'd run around looking for him, shouting at the top her her little pony lungs (which had a considerable amount of power, for some reason), which would wake him up again. And Spike did not want to get woken up.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl, just as tired as the dragon trapped inside it was. This happened every evening, Spike noticed. The clock moved slower, letting him soak up the last little scraps of the day up before he left it behind.

"Twilight," he called, entering the little princess's study. "I'm heading to bed."

Twilight did not reply. Instead, she sat staring at the Pursuit Informatio with a blank expression painted on her face. Like she wasn't really there any more.

Spike tilted his head. "Hey, did you hear me?"

There was still no reply. The room seemed to close in on him. Spike felt trapped inside the magician's coffin of a room, and he'd only be able to escape if he knew the special trick. And Spike, being Spike, was clueless.

He narrowed his eyes, concern welling up inside him as the room's constrictor snake of an atmosphere tightened its grip, crushing the life from everypony inside. "Twilight!"

He rushed over to his friend, realizing her eyes were raw from not blinking. He wrapped his tiny claws around her wings and pulled, dragging her away from the book with all the strength a baby dragon could muster.

Twilight fell straight back, stiff as a plank of wood, landing on Spike with a heavy thump. Spike coughed.

"Twilight!"

Twilight shook her head, dispelling whatever had previously occupied her mind. "Blueberries," she exclaimed, and rolled off her helper, clutching her stomach. "B-bedroom blaster?"

Spike looked up at his friend from all fours. "Are you okay?" Twilight threw up a billiard ball. "That'd be a no?"

"I... b-b-b... I asked the book a hard question..."

Spike shut the Informatio with his tail, taking care not to look directly at its pages. "Twilight, you must stop playing with that thing. Magic books are dangerous! What did you ask it?"

Twilight fell on her side, all her energy spent. "I asked it what I'd be doing in ten minutes... an hour ago. It... it couldn't work it out, and it just... it..."

Spike swallowed. "Twilight, do not open that book again. Not before you know what you're doing."

"I... I underestimated it. It won't happen again..."

"No," Spike warned. "It won't."

Applejack sat in silence, picking at her vegetable platter. Hunger gnawed at her stomach almost as much as guilt and frustration tore at her heart. Frustration at not being able to reconcile her romantic partner eating meat and being such an amazing pony, and guilt at having not been able to keep her feelings quiet for just five minutes.

"I wish she could understand," Applejack muttered to herself. "This ain't like her laying eggs or anything. I've been brought up a certain way. I can't just throw that aside."

Still, she thought, I shouldn't have called it monstrous.

Applejack held her head in her hooves, racking her brain for any kind of solution. Even a temporary fix would be worthwhile. Anything.

But no matter how hard she thought, her answers boiled down to her changing, or Rainbow changing. And neither struck her as very fair. Why should she change any more than she already had? She couldn't buck apples the same way as before. She had learned to get slept on, despite not being keen to be treated as some kind of orange mattress. Hadn't she compromised enough?

And it felt just as unfair asking Rainbow to compromise too.

"It's not fair," she grumbled. "It's just not fair."

Then again, life rarely was.

Was this it, then? The first time they'd fight for real? Applejack swallowed. It wasn't the right time for a fight. This was supposed to be a happy day. A day when they enjoyed being together, just for the sake of being together. It wasn't planned.

"Are you finished, miss?" asked the waiter. She nodded.

"Uh, yeah," she said. "Listen, I'm going to disappear for a bit. Just hold the second course for a bit, will you?"

"Of course."

Applejack smiled, and got to her hooves. Time to find Rainbow.

Applejack knew where she'd have gone. She just had to find the darkest spot near the restaurant, probably near a tree. Rainbow was very predictable when upset. She liked trees, and she liked being in the dark.

When Applejack got close enough, it was just a matter of following the sound of sniffles.

"Hey," Applejack called, keeping her voice soft and forgiving. She had heard Rainbow cry before, but not once had it been because of her. It felt just as bad as treading on a puppy's paw. "You there?"

"No," Rainbow replied, nearly choking on such a simple word. She was utterly hidden in darkness, invisible. Applejack couldn't even make out a faint outline: all she knew was where her voice came from, but shadows concealed her expression and body.

On the other hand, Rainbow could probably make out her own expression perfectly, Applejack reasoned.

Right, she thought to herself. Here goes nothing. "I'm sorry."

The apology did nothing to stem the sounds of a tearful pegasus. "I don't care," she snapped.

"You just took me by surprise," Applejack said, not about to give up anytime soon. "I've been brought up to think that eating animals is wrong, see? It was just a knee jerk reaction."

Not being able to see Rainbow made things all the harder, Applejack realized. If she could gauge Rainbow's expression, maybe she could say something better... something kinder.

"Yeah, which is why I know what you said was what you thought," Rainbow replied. "You thought I was some kind of monster."

"I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did."

Well, she has me there.

"Yes, well, I didn't mean to say it that way."

Rainbow didn't reply. All Applejack could hear was halted breathing coming out in short, sharp bursts.

Dammit, what have I done?

"Rainbow, can't we talk?"

"It was the way you looked at me," Rainbow said, her voice strained. "Like I was disgusting."

Applejack sat down heavily. How to fix this, she wondered. How to mend something smashed to pieces by her true feelings, of all things.

"I've... thought things about you were off before," Applejack replied. "Like the whole 'egg' ordeal. You didn't mind so much then."

"That's because it was just something I did. This time, it was like you didn't want to be near me." Rainbow threw something to the side, probably her plate. "After what I said!"

Applejack winced in the dark. "I know what you said," she replied. "And I feel the same way..."

"No you don't," Rainbow replied. "That look didn't belong to anypony who felt the way I do."

Applejack tried reaching her hoof out to find her partner in distress, but only succeeded in brushing against her fur before Dash retreated even further into the shadows.

"But I do," Applejack argued. "Everything about you is stranger than I could have ever imagined. I might not like all of it, but you've made my life a livin' adventure, and you've given me so much, every day, and every night." As her eyes adjusted to the oppressive gloom, she could begin to make out the outline of her colourful pegasus, sitting still and alone. "Sure, I don't like one thing about you, and it took me by surprise. I love everythin' else. I love how when I got my first splinter, you were right there in a second. I love how you sleep, and treat me as somethin' precious. I love how everythin' you do is an adventure, and how excited you get over nothin'."

"Yeah, well—" Rainbow began, but Applejack dropped her still outstretched hoof, causing her to go silent again.

She swallowed hard, her heart feeling like it was about to burst. "I love you, in the same way as you said you love me." She smiled. "So won't you let me put this on hold until tomorrow, because this is our fake-aversary, and I don't want you to spend it hidin' from me in the shadows."

The universe held its breath.

Rainbow's hoof brushed against Applejack's own.

"Okay," she muttered, the light from the restaurant finding her at last, landing on her hesitant smile. Comfort was returned to Applejack the instant she saw it. "Sure."

The universe snapped.

Author's Notes:

As usual, feel free to upvote and comment. I always check every single comment I get, even if I don't always reply. The final chapter and epilogue are already out, too! Have a good one.

Next Chapter: Pitchforks Estimated time remaining: 27 Minutes
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