As I walked in I saw murals of slavery with ponies carrying baskets that contained a unicorn with a crown on. There was a lot of hustle and bustle of ponies. Such bigotry they have. As we walked a convoluted route to the throne room I was looking in my backpack and everything stopped, all the noise and my peripherals saw no-one moving. When I focused back into my backpack I saw an almost holographic version of the Terraria inventory in my backpack. It had many less slots than the Terraria inventory did. I went into the crafting menu and saw that there were new craftables. One was a shortsword, one was a pickaxe and one was an axe. I selected the pickaxe and the craft was ready. I read the recipe. It said that magic built castle was a crafting station and I had to have a copper pickaxe. I read the name of the pickaxe, It said soulbonded pickaxe. The tooltip simply said; 'It evolves'.

As soon as I made the pick, an achievement popped up and a new tab unlocked with a trophy on it. 'Made the best pickaxe! It'll take a while.' I read the stats. The pick can mine the stuff that copper can, plus something called magic shards. I examined the eye that I had completely forgotten about. It was called 'Trustworthy Looking Eye.' In it's tool tip it says 'Summons Eye of ???' I'm not gonna do that any time soon. Finally I look at the armor area. Two debuffs are there. One is 'Chilled' which I honestly expected to see. The other, not so much. It said 'Prisoner'. If I could have I would have double taked. These unicorns were holding me prisoner? Bastards! I exit my backpack with my hotbar chosen. I then followed as if nothing happened. Soon enough we were in the throne room.

Before me sat a pure white unicorn on the throne. Her cutie mark as I've been told by the guards is three diamonds to signify her being of queenly material apparently. As soon as I stepped into the room she screamed and fainted onto a... couch? We're in the medieval times and she has a fucking fainting couch! How the hell?!? As soon as she woke up a purple unicorn showed up and the queen gripped her and whined "Get rid of that monster Clover! It's icky!" Oh hell no.

"Like you're any better queen I can force slavery upon anyone because they don't have a phallus on their head!" The queen fainted and the guards tensed. At this 'Clover' giggled.

"Clover, just how can you take the side of this cretin?" the fainting one asked with hurt in her voice. "I thought you served your queen," what a bitch.

"I do Queen Platinum it's just that his joke he made is quite entertaining," Really?

"What joke?" stew on that bitch minion.

"You honestly think that earth ponies and pegasi are our equal? We raise the sun!" She looked quite aggravated at me. "Do you think we would live if it weren't for us moving the bodies? Queen Platinum herself is in the thirteen!" Interesting.

"So that why they need thirteen to rotate the planet, you set them back twelve! Now it makes sense." Platinum turned purple at that comment.

"TREASON, GUARDS, TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON!" Whoa Nelly.

" Would you kindly cease the calamity that's inside of your mammaries?" The purple deepened.

The guards took me to the dungeon where I met one of my first allies.

In the cell with me was a dragon by the name of Thermite, he was orange, I laughed on the inside about how they probably didn't even know what thermite was. I asked him "What's up with your name?"

"My foster parents were seers so they chose a name 'from the future' to be my name, whenever I asked, why Thermite? My parents always said my fire was as hot as thermite, I had no understanding of that," he looked downcast. I had to cheer him up.

"Thermite is a scientific mixture that when burned can be thousands of degrees. Whenever you think of of fire you think of heat, you think of the pain that fire causes you. With thermite it burns so hot it incinerates things without it being felt because it gets to the nerves instantly. If you wanted to you could burn through the cell almost immediately. Once I'm gone you could leave," He seems to instantly cheer up. He still looked a little downcast.

"How? The cage is made of stone and magic shards," my lucky day or something, seriously

"Watch this," he watched enraptured as I took out the pickax and mined a big enough hole in the wall with the window that he could get through, quite a task if you ask me, I then went into my inventory where I saw a new recipe was there, I changed the walling into normal stone walling. I then turned my pick into the iron equivalent with ten of the sixteen I had to get the 4 by 4 piece of wall to normal. I placed the sixteen normal stone pieces in. "Now it's ready, remember to leave immediately after I go.

"Why not now?" he looked so hopeful. I had to make sure he understood I was serious.

"For one you would boil me," he looked depressed at that. "Two the guards will be distracted because of my execution,"

"Execution?!?" he seems disturbed.

"Execution. I need something that can let me get a hold of you," Immediately after saying that a scale peeled off of him and was rocketed into my backpack. New Recipe Unlocked I checked the crafting menu and it seems that the remaining six magic shards could be combined with the Orange Dragon Scale to make a mount item called Orange Dragon Saddle

Achievement Unlocked: Get your first follower!

An hour later the guards came back. They came with a face mask. The guards shoved it over my face and said, "It'll be over soon ape, soon enough you'll be a head in a basket." they said that while we were still in the room with the dragon. I knew exactly where he was because of the item I have that links me to him. I held my palm out, to signify to calm the fuck down. "Awww, the ape calmed down the widdle dwagonkins," she can die in a hole for all I care. "Too bad we'll be coming back for him soon... the queen wants to cut down on the dragon attacks by sending a message," hopefully he'll have enough time.

They then took me outside of the building and to a gallows. Platinum said to me as I passed her, "This is why you don't insult the Queen.

"You probably shoudln't have done that, though I do agree with you on the slavery. I don't think that we'd survive without the food any more than without the sun and moon cycle," She smiled halfheartedly at me.

They then hooked me up to the gallows, on a rope above a boiling cauldron of water. there was a stool above the water that I stood on. My executioner said "I don't care what you did, I'm just glad we're having meat again after so long... no hard feelings," with that he booted the chair out from under me, I fell and at the stop three of the five hearts disappeared, I felt an excruciating pain and after that a steady ten damage inflicted which also burned like a motherfucker. I somehow heard an alarm blaring, saying; PRISONER ESCAPING, CATCH HIM! PRISONER ESCAPING, CATCH HIM! After each repetition of the two sentences, I lost ten life. After four times I died. I watched in awe as I detached from my body and went somewhere.

Once I was alive it was in the same position as before except there was a bunch of ice around. Huh. I went into my inventory and put the Orange Dragon Saddle in my hotbar. I used it and in five minutes later Thermite appeared and he was pissed.

It was fifteen days later and my best friend/master was nowhere to be seen. In the past two weeks since he had saved my life it had gotten a lot colder. All of the ponies had left after two days except a splinter group of earth ponies led by a charismatic white unicorn with a grey mane. He seemed bent on killing dragons after one attacked and killled a female pony. I felt a pull on the scale I had given Master. I was pissed. Master was the one I had given the scale to and now someone was defiling it. Fury gave me speed as I flew. When I got there all I saw was a bipedal being who held the saddle because of my rage.

"HOW DARE YOU HOLD THAT SCALE! MY MASTER WAS THE ONE WHO WAS GIVEN THE SCALE BECAUSE HE SAVED MY LIFE! EXPLAIN BEFORE I ROAST YOU!" well shit, this is bad.

"Don't you recognise me Thermite? The one who mined the hole in the wall and placed it back in just so you could break out? The one who when your scale came off rocketed to my backpack?" C'mon, I don't want to be dragon food.

"Prove it, tell me the same thing you told me about my name that you said in the cell," well shit. I'll have to remember my exact phrasing.

"Thermite is a scientific mixture that when burned can be thousands of degrees. Whenever you think of of fire you think of heat, you think of the pain that fire causes you. With thermite it burns so hot it incinerates things without it being felt because it gets to the nerves instantly..." he then interrupted me with a tackle hug which dealt 30 damage.

"MASTER, you're alive! How? It's been fifteen days!" wait, what?

"WHAT, it's been fifteen days! Fuck! I am alive because I am never permanently dead. No, I am not an undead, I just can live forever now. I think..." hopefully not.

"Hop on, I'll take you to my cave, I'm so glad you're alive!" I get on and the saddle appears below me. I gain control. I then realize that there is already a house built for me when I open the map.

We fly there and I go into the house. I'm surprised at what I see.

Author's Notes:

How many of you did I fool with that title? Be honest.
Our hero goes to his house and finds something interesting, what could it be, find out next time on Dragon Ba... I mean Displaced Terrarian.

Term Index

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Hardcore: Terraria has three modes in character creation, softcore, where you lose money, mediumcore, where you lose items, and hardcore, where you turn into a ghost and are permanently dead.
Death: Terraria takes death liberally in softcore but I wanted my character not to want to die. He feels all the pain a normal person would. He also misses 15 days of time.