Fallout Equestria: Aurora
By CaptainSparx
Chapter Five: For Hire
“You'll be toast alright, when the dragons see you parading around in that getup”

“Okay, hold on a sec. You want me to do what? WHERE??”

“Like I said. I want you to try and find my little sister. She was taken by slavers to Fillydelphia almost a year ago. She’s about yea high,” the large black stallion held his hoof at what was roughly chest level. Quite a feat considering we were sitting at the bar. “Red mane and tail with a white coat. A bit of black here and there.”

Honestly I should have said no. My days of search and recovery were long over. These are the days of buckshot and ass-whoopin’. But that second glass of cider? Shoot. I felt like I could take on a dragon with hoof tied behind my back. Give me another and I’d take on every crazy mother-bucker in the whole damned wasteland while blindfolded. “No problem. I’ll do my best to keep an eye out for her.” I said with a crooked smile. Doing my best to not fall off my stool. “She got a name, or a cutie mark?”

“Her name’s Taillia. And she didn’t have a cutie mark last time I saw her” The black buck picked up his drink from the counter. He must have been really dirty. Seeing how he left a black smudge on the counter.

“Okay, say I find this Tail-ya… you want me to bring her back here or what?”

“If she’s still alive yes. And it’s Tail-E-Ah not Tail-ya.”

“Heh, if’n I didn’t know better I’d say that sounded like a zebra name.” I chuckled as I half jumped, half fell of my stool. The buck remained emotionless as I picked myself up off the floor. Digging around in my bags I tossed a hoofful of caps on the counter. They could keep the change. I felt great, excellent looking waitresses too I might add. Finishing off my drink and slamming the empty mug on the counter as I swayed precariously the other way. Grabbing the counter to keep from falling over. The barmare trotted over and picked on the empty mug. “Well’ ain’t you the prettiest thing I seen in two hundred years.” She gave me a cute, and slightly confused grin as she got taller. Scratch that, I got shorter. Slumping onto my haunches. Cool…. Now what? Door. Door sounds good. I stumbled as best I could, bouncing off stools and tables.

“But we haven’t discussed payment yet?” The black stallion called out after me.

Waving a hoof in the air I spun around. Ooh… pretty lights. “Don’t worry about it. *hic* I’ll put it on yer tab.” Pushing against the door with my hindquarters. It didn’t budge. Turning around I put a hoof out and leaned into it. Again nothing. What in tarnation? Fine. We’ll do this the hard way. Wait. Which door was it? I sat and brought my fore hooves up to my face. All four of them? Well shit.

The black buck tossed some caps on the counter and walked over, watching as I made little jabs at the air, mumbling some unintelligible insult at the trio of doors. The three bucks opened the three doors. Ah-Ha! I stood up and took a victorious step forward after the stallion and plowed straight into the doorframe. “Oops… my bad.” I staggered back. Something warm and wet dripped down my lip and into my mouth with a slight irony taste. “Oi, I do say…” Oh look. Floor.

“Ugh… ow my head. It hurts so much.” I slowly opened my eyes. “Oh hello there. You’re pretty.” I smiled as best I could at the unicorn mare who sat opposite me in the alleyway, outlined in the soft glow of dusk. Sitting with nothing but her leg braces nonetheless. Was I always this horny when buzzed?

“Shut up. You’re drunk.” Static hissed. Was it just me or did she seem pissed for some reason?

“No I ain’t. At least I don’t think I am?” I wiped my muzzle with a hoof. A smear of matted crimson still had a slight sheen to it. I must have hit my nose. No I didn’t. The door had hit me. Or was it the floor? “I can’t be drunk. I only had two drinks.” I insisted, sitting up and looking around. We were back in the same alley as the night before. All our gear was piled nicely to the side. The occasional passerby casting odd looks our way then scurrying out of sight. Yeah you better run.

“Two!? You think you had two! Sweet Celestia spear me with her horn.” She raised her hooves to the sky in frustration. My eyes went the other way. “You had three whole fuckin’ bottles you moron!”

“Pft… nah. If I had that much I’d have passed out for sure.” I grimaced at her raised tone. Still I had a killer headache. Maybe I had drunk just a little too much.

“You did pass out. Almost five hours ago. I dragged your sorry ass out here and have stuck watching you this whole time.”

“Well I appreciate it but I don’t seem to remember it quite like that.”

“And just what do you remember?”

“I uh… um…”

“That’s what I thought.” She rolled her eyes, then stood up. Walking over to where our bags were and pulled out a canteen and two blankets. “Here, drink this.” I chugged the water greedily as she levitated one blanket over my shoulders and the other over her back. “Now try and fall back asleep. I really want to forget this whole evening and you’re going to be a miserable mess come morning anyway.”

And now I can remember why I don’t drink more than one cider during an evening. I could feel every heartbeat throbbing in my skull. Every distant whisper sounded like a manticore’s roar in my ears. At least somepony had the sense to blot out the sun so the light wouldn’t be as unbearable… Oh yeah. I forgot.

Damn, I hate hangovers. I sat next to Static as we waited for Bottle Capper, or BC as he preferred, to finish loading. Then he loaded up the two headed cows. Brahmin I guess is what they were called. As he was finishing the rest of our traveling party arrived. A mare named Thistle and a colt called… “Static what’s the colt’s name again?”

“The colt’s name is Knick Knack. He’s Thistle’s colt.”

“Oh yeah. How could I forget.” I grumbled. Thistle had been traveling with BC as a caravan guard. Her son tagged along since she had no one else to keep an eye on him. The young colt sat atop the wagon with a set of binoculars in his hooves. At least he’d be able to contribute something to the group. Thistle was busy strapping herself into the cart. She was roughly the same size as BC and looked a lot stronger than either me or Static. The two of us had been hired on to offer armed protection. BC was sold the moment Static mentioned our passing through the middle of Ponyville and actually coming out alive. That and evidently we are the only ponies with long range rifles looking to travel for so cheap in a hundred miles. Our job; protect the caravan from raiders, bandits and unsavory fellows along the way. Which sounds like it might be pretty hard since caravans tend to be slow, noisy and high priority targets.

“Well we’re all set if’n you are.” BC trotted up. He was a gruff looking, middle aged stallion with a tan mane, tail and slightly lighter tinted coat. In fact I’m not sure if that’s even his natural color or just all the dust from his travels.

“Sure, let’s get a move on.” Static answered for the two of us. She still sounds like she’s yelling.

Alright, time to stand. A wave of dizziness sweeping over me for a brief moment. Staring down at my hooves as I waited for the sensation to pass. As long as we don’t have to actually fight anything today we should be good. I might be more likely to shoot myself in the hoof than actually hit anything. That, and the sound of a gunshot might just make my head explode.

Silver and Rust waved from the town gate as we trotted out. Following behind the wagon, with the brahmin in tow. “Did you even drink anything last night?” I asked Static, who trotted just a little ahead of me. The reaper bouncing between her shoulder blades.

“I had my fair share, but I didn’t get nearly as drunk as you did if you must know.” Looking back at me, a disgruntled expression on her face. “Still enough to have a hangover. And no. We will not discuss what happened last night.”

Oh now I was curious. “Was I really that much of a pain in the flank?” Stumbling as my hoof caught on a rock. Thankfully I didn’t fall.

“That would be an understatement. And that’s all I have to say about it.” I caught the smallest part of a smile as she turned away.

Oh goddesses, what happened last night?

“Just the same. I think we need to monitor your alcohol intake. No drinking unless I say so, and we are somewhere safe.”

“Sure, whatever…” It wasn’t like there would be random bottles of cider lying around out here anyway. Who in their right mind would let stuff that good go to waste? Especially after it would have aged over two hundred years. It was like liquid gold.

“Um, excuse me mister.” I looked up, squinting slightly. The colt, Knick Knack, was sitting in the back of the wagon watching us. For how long I wonder.

“What’s up kid?” Damn, he was barely older than the raider colt was… had been. Don’t think about it.

“I was wondering. I heard my momma talking and… are you really a pegasus soldier?”

Wha… huh. Where did that come from? My jaw dropped. You’re really talkative when you’re drunk. NO I am not. Yes you are. Am... ugh fine. Glancing over at Static as she trotted a little faster, letting out a soft chuckle.

“What exactly did you hear?” Play it cool. Maybe I can talk my way out of this for once.

“Well, Momma said you got really drunk and you were talking to a zony and you were really loud and you said you were a soldier and that you are like really old or something. Is it really true? Are you a ghoul like Miss Ditzy?”

“Um yes… and uh, no. I used to be a soldier and no, I’m not a ghoul.”

“Oh, okay. But are you really a pegasus?”

“What do you think?” Do I look like a friggin chicken?

“I think you’re a little short to be a pegasus.”

Short!? I am not short! Other ponies are just taller. I’m condensed, compact. “And why would you think that.”

“Well Miss Ditzy and Mister Calamity are both pegasus’s and they are bigger than you.” First off the correct term is pegasi. Secondly, I was roughly the same height as Ditzy. Though I’m fairly confident I weigh more. Calamity on the other hoof was actually a good hoof and a half taller than me. He’d probably look quite intimidating in flight armour. Too bad he wasn’t a soldier.

“I am too a pegasus. I’ll prove it. Static here, hold these for a moment would ya.” Unclipping my bags and letting Static levitate them off my back. Spreading my wings out from underneath my cloak and fanning them upward. I had taken the time the night before last to do some much needed preening. In fact the feathers looked better than the rest of me did at this point. I could really use a bath. Maybe it would rain.

"Cool." Knick Knack’s smile widened. “We have a pegasus traveling with us. This is going to be the best trip ever! Oh hey, look.” Raising a hoof to point over our heads. “It’s Calamity.”

Folding my wings back under my cloak, Static lowered my gear down so I could get all strapped up. Looking up I could see Calamity soaring above us with his characteristic hat and twin rifles. He was slowing circling overhead, just out of range of my EFS. Suddenly he changed direction and gained altitude, flying out in front of us. Slowing as he banked back around, picking up speed as I dove, disappearing under the rise of a hill in front of us. The twin shots of his guns rang out just before he pulled up back into view, blast back into the sky.

“Wonder what he’s shooting at this time.” Thistle mumbled to no one in particular. Apparently Calamity shooting things was pretty common around here.

“Eh, probably some more raiders settling into that camp under the bridge again. They never do learn.” BC grumbled between puffs on a cigarette.

Calamity banked back around to make a second pass. His rifles splitting the air with their fire, and not helping with my headache. Continuing to plod forward we started to come to the crest of the hill. Without warning My EFS flashed with two additional yellow markers. One was moving rapidly, which means I’m in range of Calamity now. The second just remained still, directly opposite the hill from us, along the road. As we crested the hill Calamity flew in low towards the other yellow marker, not firing this time. Must have saved another pony from raiders.

Cresting the hill just as Calamity landed. He was facing a small, dirty, blood covered mare. She levitated a pistol in her magic, aimed at Calamity. Oh shit, no. No, no no. “Don’t shoot! She’s friendly!” I tried my best to shout. But the words barely made it past the fog of my own mind. Knick Knack though heard me loud and clear. Jumping off the wagon and racing towards the pair on the road ahead.

“Knick Knack get back here!” Thistle yelled. But her words were lost in the heat of the moment.

The small mare didn’t appear to be doing well. Aside from looking like a raider. Honestly had I faired that much better? And Calamity had shot her on looks alone?! Her rear legs gave out and her rump crashed to the ground. The pistol still aimed at the tan pegasus. She needed a healing potion, stat. I picked up my pace, much to the dismay of the rest of my body. The mare collapsed to the ground altogether, the revolver falling to the earth, clattering on the rocky ground. Her yellow light started to flicker and fade on my EFS as my head and heart threatened to explode under the impaired effects I was still under. Come on, don’t die. Hang in there. Don’t give up, not on my watch.

Calamity looked up, and looked more through me than at me. “I… thought she was a raider…” Knick Knack sat next to him, staring at the unconscious mare.

“Shoot first ask questions later. Might need to rethink that.” I hissed, tossing my bags and guns to the ground. Grabbing the Ministry of Peace first aid tin I clicked open the lid and poured the contents out next to the stricken grey mare. Her chest was barely moving, and shakily at best.

“Is… is she going to die?” Knick Knack asked, looking from me to Calamity and back as the rest of the caravan arrived.

“Not if I can help it.” Grabbing a roll of gauze. “Static I need you to get her out of her armour right now.” Without saying a word Static gently lifted the grey unicorn in her magic and quickly started removing various pieces of armour. Underneath was a stable jumpsuit. I paused briefly as I noticed the number two embroidered on her collar. No stable ponies are prepared for the wasteland. And I was no exception.

Wadding up a strip of gauze I packed it into one of the many holes Calamity had shot through her. “Damn, you’re a good shot. Could have used you in the war against the zebras.” Calamity opened his mouth to say something, but fell silent, looking away.

Turning back to my patient I packed in more gauze and applied pressure, the bandages soaking red and dripping on the parched earth. Damn it. “Anypony have a healing potion?” I glanced around, getting no response from anyone. “Damn it! I’m not going to lose you. Hang in there, damn you!” I ripped off a length of bandage with my teeth, binding the mare’s leg tightly to help slow the bleeding. Twisting it to form a tourniquet. The bleeding slowed to a trickle. Applying some more gauze to the wound and wrapping it with a bandage the bleeding stopped entirely. One wound down.

“Why not give her some Med-X?” Static questioned, levitating a syringe next to me.

“Are you crazy? Med-X acts as an anti-inflammatory. She’d bleed out faster!” Turning back to see Calamity. The tan Pegasus, clutching his hat to his chest as he studied the limp body. He actually looked really sorry. “Calamity, buck up and keep it together.” Stepping back a bit as I got his attention. “I need you to fly back and get a healing potion. She’ll bleed out if I can’t get these holes to start closing back up.”

“But… but…”

“GO!” I shouted. It felt like my head had just been split in half.

Calamity looked taken aback. Locking eyes with me for a brief moment. Returning his hat to his head he turned to face the town, spreading his wings. Taking one last look back at the fallen mare as he took off into the sky. Flying as swiftly as he could.

“You don’t have to do this, save her I mean.”

Spinning around I caught Thistle alongside her head with the back of my hoof. “SHUT UP!” She staggered back, apparently shocked that I could even pack such a wallop. I’m sure her pride hurt a whole lot less than my hoof. It felt like I punched a brick wall. I didn’t care. She was wrong. “You weren’t there! Don’t tell me I don’t have to save her. This is what I do. Nopony left behind.” I turned back to my patient as Thistle rubbed her smitten cheek. “Just hang in there. Help is on its way. Just hold on.”

“I think he’s lost it. That or he’s still drunk.” I could hear Thistle grumble from somewhere behind my back.

“Neither,” Static answered her in my defense. “He’s got a lot of past pain to deal with. This is him coping.”

Have I mentioned how much I hate walking? Don’t get me wrong, it’s great exercise and a rather vigorous form of transportation. All that aside though, It’s just depressing as hell out here. Skeleton here, rotting corpse there. Two hundred years and still the world was nothing but a giant graveyard. Nopony else seemed to notice. That, or it just didn’t faze them.

“Hey Sparx, what’s on your mind.” Huh what? Looking away from the horizon and turning to be blinded by Statics light spell. “Whoops, sorry.” Shielding my eyes with a hoof as she lowered the intensity. It sure gets dark quick when you’ve got cloud cover as far as the eye can see.

“Eh, I dunno. Why don’t you tell me?” I shrugged.

Static smirked, which was kind of creepy with the shadows cast by her spell. “Well I try not to make a habit of venturing into dark voids of endless gloom.”

“Very funny,” I replied flatly. “But seriously, how do you keep going on from day to day. The whole world sucks. And don’t you dare tell me you get used to it.”

“Well,” Static let out a sigh. “It’s not as easy as it looks. Most ponies try to find something, or somepony worth living for. An ideal, a relationship, a mission. They let that drive them, define them, for good or for bad I guess.”

“Huh, interesting. Do you have one? An idea or someone that keeps you going?”

“Ha, I wish. It’s not as easy as that I guess. You should know that.” Not many changelings around these parts. “Still the search is more than enough for the time being. The adventure, the thrill of the hunt. That’s what gets me going every morning I guess. The not knowing, and trying to figure it out. If you get what I mean.”

“I think so. I guess that makes sense. How’s that working out for you?”

“To be honest? Pretty shitty. It pretty much sucked until I ran into you. You’re so chock full of interesting surprises I bet they could keep me going for months, if not years trying to figure you out. What about you? Is there anything you can think of? Something to focus on, something to drive you.”

“Not at the moment, no. Give me some time to think about it though. Maybe I can come up with something.”

“Well let me know if you need any help digging around in that dusty ole noggin of yours.” She tapped her horn with her hoof. Yeah, no thanks.

“Hey you two! Supper’s ready. Get it while it’s at least lukewarm.” Thistle called from the doorway of the ruined building we had made shelter in for the evening. She still hadn’t fully come to terms with me hitting her, and I’m pretty sure I hadn’t either.

The building was of an old two story construction. The door of sorts was actually a large hole blown in the wall. The actual door was a few feet to the right and was still boarded up. A fine example of the type of logic that prevails out here I’m sure.

“Oh I hope it’s more beans.” Static grinned as she got up, trotting away to go collect our portions.

“Ugh what I wouldn’t give for a hayburger right about now.” I turned my back to the building and lifted an odd pair of binoculars to my eyes. They were rather chunky looking but they worked in low to no light. Illuminating the world with a red hue for a good distance. If any raiders even thought of coming towards the house we’d be able to pick them off before they even knew what hit ‘em. Or not. I couldn’t really aim a gun with the binoculars. Forget the hayburger. I could really use an IR scope on my rifle. Now that would be awesome.

Static took a seat next to me, levitating two plates. Putting the binoculars down, and taking one of the two plates. There were beans. And also what looked like soggy cereal. Static didn’t seem to mind, munching down on her share with a grin.

“How can you eat this?” Pushing my plate away.

“What? It’s good.” Static said between bites. “It was made with care, so it tastes pretty good to me.”

Changelings. I rolled my eyes.

“Are you going to eat that?” Static pointed a hoof over at my untouched plate. Her plate was empty. In fact it looked licked clean? O..kay? “I don’t expect you to understand.”

Pushing my plate over to her, she picked it up and started devouring it as well. “Actually kind of do. I studied your species society for a little over three years.”

Static stopped, staring over the top of the plate as she licked it clean as well. “Really? How’d you end up doing that? With the war and all I mean.”

“I uh, don’t want to talk about it.” I quickly shot back.

“Okay, forget I asked.” She went back to licking the plate.

“I got hurt, my wing was just a small part of it I guess.” Staring at my hooves. I might as well tell someone. “The rest, well… The doctors thought some time away from the war would do me some good. So I was commissioned as an officer and sent on an intelligence gathering assignment. I was stuck there for three years.” I slammed my hoof against the ground. “THREE. FUCKING. YEARS!” I could hear Static set the plate down. “They could have tried rehab, or maybe at least have kept us together. But no. They had to split us all up. They didn’t care. We needed each other after… after… ah, fuck it.”

Static sat down beside me, putting a hoof around my shoulder. I wiped my face, erasing my tears. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s… I’ll be okay. I just think, maybe somepony should know what happened. It will always hurt I guess but maybe if someone else knew, they would understand? Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt so much?”

“It’s up to you, I’m all ears.”

“No not like that. Here,” Pulling away I turned and sat directly opposite her. “Touch your horn to my forehead.”

“Um, why?”

“It will be easier if I just show you.” I laid down, rest my head on my hooves. “Just don’t let your horn lose its connection.” Static copied my pose and rested her horn against my skull. “I’ll try and skip the dull parts.”

“This looks stupid. Just how is this supposed to work?”

“Just focus on reading my thoughts, and I mean really focus.” Statics horn started to glow and a warm tingling sensation started to form in the back of my mind. “And relax, I’ll do the rest.”

“This really sucks. We’ve been walking around for hours.” Said a mare just off to the left... A rather well-toned unicorn mare at that. She wore a collection of matte black armor plates and camouflage patterned under armour. Her teal mane sticking out slightly beneath her visor. “Can we take another break? My hooves are killing me.”

“Come on Picket. Toughen up. You’ll get used it. But still… Corporal give a once over just to be sure.”

“Yes sergeant.” I felt myself say. This is really weird. I lived this, I was seeing this all through my own eyes. Yet I still felt oddly detached. Little things that hadn’t bothered me before were suddenly very apparent. The chaffing of my own armor in several areas was rather noticeable. Oh crap. I sure hope Static isn’t noticing that. That would be really… no. Stop thinking about it.

“This place isn’t safe. We should keep going.”

Bending over to take a look at Picket Fence’s hooves. She held her hooves up in turn. Not only were they red, but two were starting to blister.

“Will no one listen to me?”

“Can it Xanich. Just because you’re familiar with the area doesn’t mean I’ll let you run my squad ragged all over these hills. You may be assigned to this unit but I am still in charge here.” The entire squad, myself included, watched as Sergeant Bulwark began chewing out the red-striped zebra. The sergeant was rather normal looking for an earth pony. But what he lacked in looks he sure made up for it in sheer strength. His record listed that he had broken the forelegs of three other stallions during hoof wrestling matches, once walked two miles with a fractured pelvis while carrying a wounded soldier on his back, oh and he was oddly allergic to pansies. How do I know this? Well having access to all my squads’ medical records is one of the perks of being a medical pony in the army. I had a file on everyone. Bulwark our courageous leader; Thumper, our heavy weapons specialist; Relay, running comms. The two newest additions were Picket Fence and Snowfall. Straight out of field readiness training. Oh this is the good part.

“You seem to forget whose side I am on Sergeant.”

“Oh I know damn well which side you’re on stripe.”

“What did you call me?”

“Getting hard at hearing are ya now?” Bulwark spat at Xanich’s hooves.

“Be thankful we know how to keep our emotions in check.” Xanich replied flatly, before turning and walking away. Loyal Equestrian zebras were often referred to as reds. Due to the color they dyed their stripes. Yet they were still referred to as stripes by most soldiers. Since our squad had been assigned forward recon they assigned Xanich as a lateral transfer from the Zebra Coalition Corps. As much as I mistrusted him, at least I respected him. The way he took everything the Sergeant threw his way in stride.

Bulwark let out a grunt, as Xanich disappeared into the woods. “Heh, enough said about that. Chromawing. Status on Picket.”

Again I spoke. The words seeming foreign on my tongue. “Her hoof is rubbing raw in several places and starting to blister. Even with treatment she will require at minimum twelve hours rest for the blistering to subside.”

“Just give her one of the healing tonics.”

“Sir, with respect. I carry a limited supply. It would unwise to use them in case we encounter resistance.”

“Valid point. Thumper! Snowfall! Set up camp. Relay take first watch.”

“Yes sir!” All three ponies snapped to attention. Breaking their stance only to go about their assigned tasks. I watched as Thumper flew over to a nearby oak (at least I think it was an oak) and set her grenade rifle up against it. The weapon was nearly as long as she was, and weighed almost as much as well. Taking off her helmet she flung her golden mane back. Damn she looked…

HOLY FUCKING PINFEATHERS, what the hay just happened?!

My mind was reeling. “Shit. What just happened?” Holding my hooves to my head. Argh, why? Now I have another splitting headache. Looking past my hooves I could see Static in a similar state. Holding her horn as if it was about to fall off. Yeah, like that could really happen. You break contact, you break the connection. And you’re both left with a splitting headache. “Damn that hurt.”

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, really. But you weren’t answering and my mommy said it was important I get you both right away. Please don’t be mad at me.” Knick Knack stood just out of hooves reach to my right.

“Damn it kid. Don’t you know a transference when you… ah, shit. Never mind. You probably wouldn’t understand.”

“Huh. Is that what it’s called?” The colt asked with as puzzled expression.

Our shared headache was slowly beginning to subside. “Is that what what's called?”

“You know the thing grownups do before they um… they have um…” He looked down at his hooves, kicking at the dust. “Before they uh, do sex.”

I was glad no one was looking in my direction as shock spread across my face. “Just how old are you kid. And no. That is NOT what that’s called.”

“I’m old enough. That’s what my mom said anyway.”

“Ugh, just forget it kid. Run along. We’ll be coming just as soon as we can think straight.”

“Okay, want to run that by me one more time?”

Thistle took a deep breath before beginning again. “Like I said. I went out to go check on the brahmin and the wagon out back, but I could only find one of the brahmin. I figured she might have wandered off a ways so I started looking around. Then I noticed a small light a little way off. Naturally I went to go investigate. As I got closer I could make out the shapes of ponies. I’m positive they’re raiders.”

“And just what do you want us to do about it?” I asked, leaning back against an old support beam. With a sudden sharp crack I felt the board give way and I tumbled backwards. Dust and some light debris coating me as they resettled. *cough* “Okay, this place should be *cough* *cough* condemned.”

“It’s stood this long, it should stand one more night.” Static pointed out. “If you don’t bring it all down on top of us.”

“Yes, please don’t.” Thistle agreed with her. “Anyway. We, that is BC and me, were hoping you might be able to take care of the raiders and find our missing brahmin for us. I’ll keep watch here while you two go do that. It is what we hired you for.”

Picking myself up and dusting off. “Yeah, sure no problem. I’m sure they won’t even see us coming.” Not like we’d have as much luck ourselves in the dark of the night. “Come on Static, grab your gun and let’s get this over with. I want to go to bed before sunrise.”

“Fine. Just keep away from the fire and we should be good.”

“Fire? Why would he need to stay away from that?” Thistle asked, puzzled.

“Don’t answer that.” I hissed, shooting a look at Static as I trotted out the door. Moments later joined by my compatriot.

“Well this should be interesting.”

“What makes you think that?” Checking the load on the Armistice and loosening the strap a bit to make it easier to maneuver.

“Oh I don’t know. Maybe the fact that it’s after dark. You're’ sneaking around. And plan on killing everything down there. It just like how we first met.”

“I’m pretty sure this is different. For one, you’re not locked in a slave wagon.”

Static seemed to ponder that for a second. Shrugging she started off towards our caravans wagon. One brahmin was tied up like (he, she... it?) was supposed to be. It was too dark to try and track the missing one. Where it wandered off to was anyponies guess. Off in the distance was the small flickering light of a campfire. Our objective. My pipbuck updated with a mission quest, eliminate the raider camp. A waypoint was magically added and I could see the direction marker on my EFS display. Great, now all that remained was actually getting there without being detected. All in total darkness. No problem.

Almost half an hour later, with only some scuffed hooves and a split lip from walking into a fence post, we made it to the top of a small knoll overlooking the raiders’ camp from the south. “Okay, here’s the plan.” I whispered. “You stay here and pick a few off. I’ll sneak closer and finish off any you miss. So long as they stay near the fire you should be able to see them with the scope.”

“Okay, nice plan. What’s the backup?”

“Backup? Why would I need…” oh yeah. Because since waking up in the stable nothing has ever gone according to plan.

“Yeah, you know. The ‘whoops I done and got myself blowed up again’ and I have to save your sorry ass.”

“Eh, I don’t know. We’ll just wing it, I guess.” Giving a slight ruffle of the ole primaries.

If I could have seen her face I’m sure it was like stone. Really? Wing it? No? Ugh, unicorns.

“Oh and one last thing. Try not to shoot me. I don’t react well to bullets.”

“Pfft, yeah. Now get going. I still have a lingering headache so the sooner we get this done the better.”

With great stealth and precision… okay not entirely. More like blind luck and trying not to fall on my face, I made progress towards to camp. My EFS readout showed thirty meters to the objective when it suddenly disappeared and was filled with numerous red blips. Each blip was further distinguished with a little chevron above it. Okay, maybe I should have thought out a signal to let Static know when I was in position. That would have been useful.

...krzzzack

Or not! One of the blips went dark as the pony that it represented collapsed with its head turned to green sludge. Show time.

Darting behind a pony sized rock for cover as the raiders panicked and started shooting and yelling. And in no particular order or direction either. Slowly crawling closer to get a better firing line.

krzzzack

A second shot punched through a raiders chest not five paces away. The mare looked down at the green rimmed hole. “Aw shit…” she slumped to the ground and her red light faded out.

Rearing up over a charred stump I settled the Armistice on the top and held it tight to my shoulder. Three targets stood near the fire. Flicking the safety and jamming my hoof against the trigger. The soft pffts of the silenced weapon were all but lost in the screams as the trio danced as the gunfire ripped them apart. Red mist spraying back and coating a stallion as he ran up and was himself cut down.

“Four down,” muttering under my breath as I reloaded. I heard the distant report of the Reaper rifle and felt a weight fall against me. “HELL NO!” Spinning around, the body rolling off and thumping to the ground. Drawing my knife as I looked upon the shocked, lifeless expression on the mare’s face. A hole shot clean through her ribcage. A rusty jagged dagger lay several inches from her muzzle. Thank you Static.

Returning my knife to its sheath I moved further into the darkness and moved around the edge of the camp.

“Show yourselves you fuckin cowards!” A stallion shouted in a general direction.

Jumping up behind him, my weapon drawn. “Boo.”

“GAH!!!” He jumped nearly three feet as he turned to face me. He was dead by the time he hit the ground. Blood oozing out of more than a dozen bullet wounds. And I was reloading yet again. I really wish this had a burst mode.

“Wha the hell?!” A blaze red unicorn mare slammed into my side. Sending me skipping in one direction and the Armistice in the other. Shew charged before I would have time to gain my footing. I didn’t need to. Rolling on my back I bucked her in the chest. She lost her concentration and a heavy looking pole with a slab of concrete clanged against the rocks beside my head. Holy shit! That would have left a mark.

Turning back she dove for a tackle. Three more raiders, circling around to watch and cheer on their fellow raider. I tucked in all four legs as she grabbed at me. She had a firm grip and tried a head butt, only to get interrupted by a wing upside the head. Grabbing a mouthful of feathers instead she jerked back. “ARGH!! You stupid bitch!” I screamed as the feathers were ripped free.

“Fucker just die already!” She screamed in my face. Uncoiling my legs like a spring trap I shoved the unicorn mare as hard as I could straight up into the air. Right as her body reached its apex, time slowed as I activated SATS. Targeting two blows to her head and another to her chest. Yet before I could even confirm the actions a green bolt seemed to pass right through her from flank to shoulder. Then the unthinkable happened. She exploded!

Cancelling SATS I covered my face with my hooves as what used to be a pony rained green acidic sludge. I could feel the warmth on my barding, and the burning of my fur and skin on my legs and wings. Damn it Static. Why’d you have to make her explode?

Rolling to my feet I stood to face the three remaining raiders. Gritting my teeth as the acid started to fizzle out. It burned like hell. Keep away from fire, my roasted ass.

“Wha… who…. What the fuck are you?” One of the raiders stammered. Dropping a rather nice looking zebra sword at her feet as she backed away.

Furrowing my eyebrows I stared right into her eyes, spreading my wings in the dying light of the fire. “Your worst nightmare.”

They bolted. All three of them. Turning tail and running off into the dark. One last gunshot and two yellow bars fled into the night until they eventually just blinked out. Well so much for… My mission tracker updated in the corner of my vision. Return to Thistle. Sounds good to me. We could loot the camp in the morning. Or rather later in the morning? It was just after three now. Turning on my Pipbuck light I located the Armistice and walked back towards Static, meeting her halfway.

“Wow you look terrible.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No I mean it. Just look at yourself.”

Glancing down at my hooves I could see still glowing splotches of acid. Funny. It didn’t hurt much anymore. One look back at my wings though was a different story. The fibers had been nearly coated in the ghostly green slime. Several holes having been burned straight through. Well at least I already can’t fly. “Okay, I‘mma just gonna say one thing. OW!!!”

Static raced to keep up as my glowing green wings streaked through the night back towards our camp. I nearly broke down the door when we arrived. “WATER! NOW!” Waking everypony up as I dashed around looking for a bucket or pan or something.

“What the hell happened to him?” Thistle asked as Static walked in the door.

“Nothing much. Just a raider exploded acid goop all over him.”

“Really? How’d they manage to do that?”

“Oh it was easy. I shot her, she exploded.” Static said matter-of-factly. Thistle seemed about ready to puke. Knick Knack hid behind BC as all four of them watched me turn every faucet on the house to no avail.

“You know there’s a creek out back.” BC said, then yawned.

Creek? I’d take a muddy puddle at this point! I dashed outside and would have disappeared into the dark if it weren’t for this nasty green sludge.

I felt like crap. Heck, I looked like crap at this point. The acid had chewed little holes in all my armour, singeing the edges. Some fur would need to grow back and I’d have to wait for a good molting before my plumage would look remotely better than roadkill. Oh and my ankle was giving me a bit of trouble again. The status display on my pipbuck showed the whole leg was injured. Which is rather surprising since I can’t think of what else to do other than to dope it up with X. Pulling out the vial to take stock of what I had. About a third of a vial and several syringes full. Not much, but it should get me through what? A week? Two? Okay, stop. I don’t need this. It’s manageable… mostly. I should save it for more pressing concerns. Like getting showered in acid pony guts. Squirming at the thought. I swear I didn’t get her all out of my jacket either.

“Hey, equestria to feather brain. Come in feather head.” Static waved a hoof in front of my face as we marched on.

Refocusing on her hoof, I gently shook my head. “Huh, what’s up?”

“Um, the clouds? Duh.” Stretching her hoof in a sweeping motion along the horizon.

“Ouch, I walked right into that one didn’t I.”

“Yeah ya did.”

“So what do you need?”

“Me? Oh nothing much. A few thousand bottle caps, a warehouse of sparkle cola and a lifetime's supply of fancy buck cakes would be good for starters.” Was she pulling my tail? She was, wasn’t she? I shot her a quizzical look. “Oh and my own personal sky chariot with a pony to fly me wherever I wanted.”

“You’re screwing with me… right?”

“Ha, in your dreams flyboy. You’re too old for me remember.”

Wait. What?

Stopping abruptly in my tracks. Dreams… to old? Screw?? Oh shit, did I really just… nope not thinking that. Not think… A warm sensation spread throughout my body. I could feel my cheeks turning colors and my wings flaring up like tattered banners in the wind. “Damn it Static! This is not funny!” I slammed my hoof down in frustration.

She couldn’t keep from laughing as she pranced off after the wagon and the rest of the caravan. Ooh, that mare. If I wasn’t married… wasn’t I technically not married anymore? I mean, it’s been two hundred years. What would be the odds? With my luck? You can never be too sure I guess.

“Hey Sparx, hurry it up!”

Static beckoned with her hoof as the rest of the group rounded a bend in the road.

“I’m coming!”

Static stifled a giggle with her hoof. Turning before she lost it completely. Ugh, what did I do to deserve this?

“So tell me abit about yourself. What’s it like traveling around out here all the time?” Straining against the harness next to BC. I swear if he isn’t pulling his share so help me I’ll…

“Not much to say I figure. It’s all pretty much the same out here. Course there are the raiders and bandits and ghouls and raiders and occasional travelers, oh and did I mention raiders?”

“Eh, once or twice.”

“Then I’ll say it one more time. Raiders.” He paused, taking a puff on his cigarette. Oh what I wouldn’t give for a good smoke right now. Letting the smoke seep slowly from his nostrils. “Damn raiders are some of the nastiest, vilest, most repulsive creatures to ever once be called ponies. I go out of my way to avoid ‘em if I can.” Like last night? “If not…” He gave me a knowing look. “I hate killing and fighting as much as the next pony. But tis a necessary evil to survive out here. I’m glad to have you and you’re unicorn friend with us. Not too many ponies keen on escorting caravans these days.”

“Why’s that? Don’t caravans need the protection?”

“They do. But the one thing a trader loves most is a good deal. Not many decent guards willing to work for cheap. And getting you into Tenpony won’t be easy either. You sure you don’t just want some caps and supplies?”

“That would be nice and all, but we really need to get inside to meet the DJ.”

“Ole Pon3? What makes ya think he’d want ta see ya?”

“Well I’m not quite sure yet, but he might have a map, or know where I can get one. I’m sure if I have to I could work out some sort of deal.”

“Well so long as he doesn’t have you go looking for more music or looking into fix a radio tower.”

“Why? Would that be a bad thing?”

“Son, I can’t rightly think of a more stupid waste of time than running around doing errands just so some stallion with a microphone can sit on his ass all day.”

“Well if you put it that way…” And I’m still older than you, I thought silently.

“I work for everything I got. And then some. I’m sure you’ll find the Tenpony ponies quite the opposite. Stuck up, privileged, arrogant mules the whole lot.”

“If they’re that bad why trade with them?”

“Believe me I‘d stop if I could, but they account for over two thirds of my business. I wouldn’t have anything to sell or caps to buy if it weren’t fer them ponies.”

Great. Sounds like Canterlot all over again. Won’t that be fun? Should I dress nice? Buy a suit or maybe a uniform? Would I even fit in a uniform anymore? I’m not saying I’m fat, just healthy. Sitting behind a desk does that to you. What would I look like in a uniform in my dilapidated condition anyway? BC was still talking about something, but I wasn’t paying attention. I hadn’t given much thought to this venture. I’m pretty sure it went something like, this sounds like a good idea, I’m drunk, so let’s do it. The plan of no plan strikes again. The wagon suddenly halted and I could feel the full weight of trying to budge the wagon by myself. Damn this thing’s heavy. Oh hello there.

Looking up I found a rather well maintained double barreled twelve gauge pointed between my eyes. The weapon was being wielded by one of two combat armour wearing griffons. And I was hitched to a cart.

____________________________

Footnote: Progress to next level: 50%

Author's Notes:

This "memory orb" sequence is a bit different than the traditional method since I plan to use these to build more backstory. And having a non-unicorn protagonist I feel it would add too much bulk to have to somepony else view an orb and retell it at length.