Somepony was rubbing my face with a damp cloth and there were voices surrounding me. It was very reminiscent of the time I woke in the agency. No trip to the Wither world for me this time though, just black nothingness and a muggy feeling like I’d been hitting Grimble’s brandy too hard. Somepony was shouting at me, or rather, some griffin. I couldn’t hear much, there was some horrible high pitched whine in my ears. I looked up at the feathered face, the beak, those avian eyes looking worriedly into mine. I wish people wouldn’t keep doing that, I was fine wasn’t I? I’d just stand up and…

Panting, I fell back into the arms of Vent. My screaming had been loud enough to wake the dead, the pain on a level I hadn’t felt since…since when? My head was such a mess, oh! Hello…who’s that?

“Oh Celestia, no! no, no, NO!”

Meadow? No…Tingles…and Shadow, who was that with them though? Some big white mare…ah! Of course, the mistress…I wonder if she were angry with me, I hadn’t been a good pony, I hadn’t done as she’d commanded. Celestia still lived, the bomb hadn’t gone off, had it? Maybe it had! That’s what the bang was, but where was I? Was I still in Canterlot? What were my family doing here?”

Tingles leaned forward, tears pouring down her face as she shouted something at the medic. Shadow’s eyes, normally so vibrant, dripped liquid fire onto the ground. I tried to reach out and touch her, but nothing worked, my body just seemed to be wrong somehow…mind you, I didn’t half feel light, really light! The pain simply drained away from me, it was cold too for some reason, but as a wendigo I didn’t mind that. The sun was rising in the sky but I couldn’t feel its rays; was winter coming already? Probably…Lumin and the girls would love to play in the snow, to...

I yawned, I was so tired. The griffin’s voice was so far away now, in a different place, a different land, who cared? I didn’t! This was like that warm feeling of being tired, full of Grimbles brandy, a nice pipe of Starbeard’s finest tobacco and a beautiful mare snuggled up beside you…it was heaven.

It was bright though, blindingly bright and really, really white. Why was everything so bloody white? I checked around myself and saw nothing but whiteness, like I was enveloped in cloud. It was all a bit weird but I certainly didn’t feel afraid, more…curious.

There was a loud ‘pop’ and huge wooden desk appeared out of thin air, behind it a heavy chair on castors, a standard lamp and a hat stand for some reason. A moment later, on the desk appeared a large ledger, quill and inkwell. I stared at the displaced office furniture, it all looked familiar too, very familiar. I face hoofed as its golden coated owner popped into existence a second later, his half moon glasses perched on his nose. The alicorn walked over to the chair re-arranging his wings and pulled himself up behind the desk. The quill floated up in a golden aura of magic and, after lifting the dainty silver lid on the ink well, dipped it in ready to begin writing.

“Name”, he asked without looking up.

“Hello, Aethel”

He began writing, “Hmm, nice to see one of the old classics…’Hello Aethel’” the quill scratched across the page, “Sorry, is Aethel your first or last name?”

“Neither”

“What? I thought you said your name was Aethel?”

I banged my hoof of the desk, snatching the quill from his magic’s grip and throwing it away. His golden eyes went wide in indignation as he looked up into my blue eyed gaze,

“YOU!”

“Like I said, Hello Aethel, its good to see you again”

He sputtered and stood up suddenly, his wings flaring, sending the stricken chair shooting out from behind him, “You’re that insolent wendigo! What was your name again…”

“Fairlight. Eff Ay Eye Are…”

“I know how to spell it!”

I picked up his quill and placed it neatly back on his desk, “Look here, Aethel, I’m not sure what’s happening right now, so either this is some bloody flashback sequence or I’m badly injured and probably going to end up stuck in that frigging black sandy place again while I heal up. So…”, I tapped his book, “…lets just get me sent back now and we’ll forget this ever happened, okay? I have to get back to my family”

Aethel stood there staring at me, his pure white mane flowing in an invisible wind against his golden coat. He looked like some pop singer, the type fillies go nuts over, I’d been so jealous of his type when I was younger too. I didn’t find out until later in life that the ‘pop idols’ weren’t really alicorns after all, they had stick on horns or wings to make them more ‘attractive’ visually. Bloody ponces…

“Are you suffering from some sort of delusionary state?” He asked, his eyes narrowing.

“I’m sorry?”

“Fairlight, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, look here, I…”

He held up a hoof, “Look about you, Fairlight. Tell me, what do you see?”

“Lots of white nothingness, why?”

“The last time I saw you, was in the Withers was it not?”

“Hard to forget really,” I said shrugging, “the black sand, the black sky. The simple answer though, is ‘yes’. Why, what are you getting at?”

He sighed, “Do I have to explain it all again?! For the goddess’ sake, Fairlight...” Aethel rummaged in the desk drawer, “I’m not going through this again, right…”

The large alicorn produced a rather highly polished brass bell which was attached to a wooden gem studded device, placed it on the desk and tapped it with a hoof, “Miss Bunny, would you please contact the relatives of, lets see now…ah, yes, applicant four six two five.”

A voice emanated from the device, “Yes, mister Aethel. Any in particular?”

“Any of them! Just do it quickly Miss Bunny, Its nearly time for me to knock off.”

I sat on my haunches and looked about me, “Hey, Aethel, how long’s this going to take? I’ve melded with the spirit now, so you’ve no reason to keep me here right? You can send me back any time you like. Like now, would be good.”

He snorted, “Don’t get snippy with me again young pony! I was in quite the state after dealing with you last time, there’s no need for rudeness you know.”

Never mind last time, what the hell was going on this time?! I fidgeted with my wings in irritation and watched him as he paced back and forth, clearly waiting for…

The device on the desk began making a ringing noise.

Quickly, Aethel tapped the large gem on the top listening carefully, “Yes? Good! Send her in please miss Bunny”

I sniggered, ‘Miss Bunny’!

There was a click and the sound of a door opening. To my left a doorway into a more everyday sort of office interior appeared out of nowhere, quite literally. Through the doorway, a coal coloured mare could be seen ushering somepony through,

“Right this way please miss….yes…he’s through there. Don’t forget to sign out when you leave.”

Looking around the door tentatively was a grass green face with a pair of large yellow eyes looking around, spotting Aethel, the desk…and then finally me. The rest of Meadow followed. In a blur of green, she rushed past Aethel and threw herself at me, near crushing me in her grip. I could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her breath against my neck as she shook with emotion. I didn’t know what to say.

“Daddy?”

A young voice drifted out from the open doorway, the small grey foal peeking round the frame at me. Her large yellow eyes looked up in wonderment, “Daddy, is that you?”

“It’s me, love”, I said laughing, tears starting to pour down my face, “It’s me…”

Sparrow half ran, half flew up to me and I caught her in a foreleg, holding the two girls in my embrace. Goddesses above, was this it? I was here wasn’t I…

Aethel pushed the book over to me, “Sign here please, mister Fairlight.”

I took the quill and signed quickly where he indicated and he shut the ledger with a thump, “You get the idea now?”

“I…I don’t understand…I was running for the tavern and then, then there was this loud bang and a flash…”

“And then you’re here. Explosions tend to do that to you, mister Fairlight. I don’t think I need to go into any further details do I? Especially with a foal here listening, it’s not the sort of subject for young ears.”

Meadow reached up and bit my ear,

“OW! Bloody hell! Will you mares leave my ears alone!”

“It’s not a dream is it? You’re really here…with me…”

I shook my mane and rubbed my sore ear, “I’m here love, sore ear and all…I just can’t believe it. I was only talking to you a few minutes ago and then…”

Aethel ushered us into the office beyond the white void, “This way, this way…come along now, there’s a lot of paperwork still to do you know and I knock off at five.”

“Hey! Just a minute!”

Miss Bunny passed me a large mug of cocoa, one to Meadow and a carton of apple juice to Sparrow. Aethel kicked the door shut behind us with a bang, earning an admonishing look from his secretary. He raised his eyebrows in apology and went over to a filing cabinet,

“Right then…you’ll be needing this, this…oh, and this…there you go!”

A pink folder floated onto the desk in front of me with large gold lettering on the front and several brochures and booklets neatly placed inside. The letters glowed faintly, which I read aloud, “Eternal Herd Orientation Guide”

Aethel pulled out a sheaf of paperwork and a fresh quill, pointing to the areas he wanted me to sign and muttering under his breath. I was in so much shock, I had no idea what was going on, only that Meadow was here and my lovely daughter who was munching on a lolly while she tried to feed another to a small toy alicorn.

I flicked open the front page of the guide and read, “Some disorientation and discomfort may be experienced within the first few hours due to the realignment of the soul with the conscious mind. This is perfectly normal and there is no need for concern. You should begin to feel a sense of connection with your new home shortly after arriving, and your friendly staff at the welcome centre are on hoof to answer all your questions…”

The golden alicorn closed the guidebook with a ‘snap’, “There’s time aplenty for you to read that in the comfort of your own home, mister Fairlight. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to get off home. The wife will kill me if I’m late.”

“Just a minute!” I shouted at his retreating form, “What the hell’s going on here? Aethel!”

He turned to look at me as if I was stupid and clucked his tongue, “You haven’t worked it out yet? Honestly Meadow, I don’t know what you see in him.”

Aethel picked up his saddle packs and hat, opening the outer door. Calling back over his shoulder he let out a bark of laughter, “Welcome, mister Fairlight…to the afterlife!”

The door shut behind him with a click that seemed abnormally loud, echoing the feeling in my heart,

“I…I’m…Dead?”

Meadow nuzzled me, “Come on love…it’s time to go home.”

We walked quietly along the country lane, the sun warm in the pure blue sky. A gentle breeze blew, keeping the whole a perfectly comfortable temperature, rustling the leaves in the lush trees and the verdant grass. Here and there, cherry trees grew, their branches heavy with fruit. Occasionally a pony would be visible collecting the cherries in wicker baskets and trotting off with them to who knows where. Nothing was rushed, there was no sense or urgency, only peace, absolute calm. If there was one word I could use to describe this place, it was ‘idyllic’.

A carriage waited at the side of the land, its dark wood showed age but it was strong and sturdy. The driver sat next to the conveyance on a long green bench reading a paper. Meadow called over to him and he looked up, smiling,

“Hello Miss Meadow, ready for off?”

“We are, Grain,” she nudged me happily, “all of us.”

The tan coloured stallion with the brown mane rolled up his paper and stuffed it back in his pannier before pausing, only to take it out again and hoof it to me, “Here, if you’re new you may find this interesting. Look at page four.”

After we’d settled on the well sprung seats, the carriage lurched into motion, Meadow quietly watching me. Sparrow seemed more interested in her plushie than anything else and kept up a steady stream of chatter to the little figure. I couldn’t help but smile. Meadow raised her eyebrows and motioned to the paper, which I dutifully opened out…’The Inquirer’, very original…

Let see, page four…page…four…here we go! Right then…I looked down and there at the bottom was a heading, ‘Our Newest Friends’. Meadow smiled, “Come on then, read it out”.

I raised an eyebrow then read aloud, “We welcome a pony who many readers will already know of from his exciting exploits in the news over the last few years, Mister Fairlight Loam of Smiling Borders, Equestria (43).”

“Wha…! Bloody hell! Why’d they put my age?”

“It’s a press standard, love. Go on…”

I cleared my throat, “Fairlight, as he prefers to be known, was tragically killed in an explosion of unknown origin this morning and, after extensive deliberation by the Herd Ethics Committee (HEC), the controversial decision was made to allow him entry into the Eternal Herd. Opponents of his acceptance into the herd list concerns regarding his ‘violent and unpredictable nature’ with ‘a predilection towards cruel and unnatural acts’. Principal Starbeard explained the HEC decision:

‘Fairlight Loam is a rare and special individual who has proven himself to be of good heart and, if not the most intellectually stimulating of Equestrians, has a talent for quick thinking and decisive action. Who can forget the tragic events of the Summer of Tears? The brutal murder of a young mare and her unborn foal by two evil ponies, would have adversely affected the mental state of any mortal. Mister Loam rose above that and as many of you know, was instrumental is saving Equestrian’s from slavery and death in the human world, not to mention his heroic defence of two our princesses.”

I shook my head, “It goes on…I don’t want to read any more.”

Meadow put her hoof on the paper, “I still can’t believe you’re here…with me, with us. Sparrow talks about you all the time and we’ve all missed you too, me, your parents, even Glimmer. I can’t wait to show you off to them all!”

I sat back, staring up at the sky, “I’m frightened to blink.”

“Why?”

“Because if I do, all this, you, Sparrow…it’ll all disappear and I’ll wake up somewhere…alone.”

A green face suddenly loomed over me, the sunlight glinting like tiny sparks through her flowing mane, “But you’re not alone, love. We’re here…we always have been.”

She leaned forward and kissed me, gliding her forelegs around my neck, taking my heart to a height of happiness I couldn’t believe was possible. I was finally home.

Sparrow Song giggled, “You’re kissing!” she laughed, “Oooh! I’m going to tell nanna on you!”

The cheeky little beggar! Meadow turned round and held a hoof up to her mouth, “Shhh! Don’t tell nanna, or…”

“Or?”

“Well, it depends who wants butterscotch ice-cream tonight, doesn’t it?”

Sparrow took a huge intake of breath , “I WANT BUTTERSCOTCH ICE-CREAM!”

The deafening noise, with its youthful squeakiness made my ears flatten in surprise, “Nothing wrong with your lungs, young filly!”

“I’m still a foal, daddy. You’re silly!”

I laughed and caught Meadow as she leaned back into me sighing, “You know, I found something interesting out today…”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Mister ‘Loam’”

“Ah, yes…”

“Come on then, what’s the story?”

“What’s to tell? It’s my family name, I didn’t like it and so I don’t use it. It was bad enough being grey with brown eyes, add to that the black and white tail and what do you have? The foals called me ‘cart horse’. When they found out my family name was ‘loam’, it made things even worse. I’ve never used it since.”

“But you never told me either!”

I gave her a light nuzzle, “I’m sorry love, it never entered my head and to be honest, it’s never really come up since. Even after I joined the watch, I’ve simply been ‘Fairlight’”.

The carriage rumbled on until Sparrow shouted excitedly, “That’s our house! Look, daddy, daddy, daddy”

“Oh, good grief!” I leaned forward and tickled her until she started squeaking in laughter, “And you, you little pest! Come on, let’s have a look at your house.”

It was beautiful, the culmination of all the wishes and dreams I could ever have shared with my wonderful wife. The cottage was freshly whitewashed with an almost golden thatched roof, very neatly done too. The trim hedge and picket fence around the outside, showed splashes of colour from the many varieties of flowers that bloomed here. Meadow pushed open the gate and let me enter first. I was nearly overwhelmed with the sheer beauty and vibrancy of it all, the wonderfully heady scent of the garden caressing my nose; it was sensory and emotional overload. I could feel tears welling in my eyes and found my knees were trembling as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing.

The green painted wooden door had a brass bell next to it for visitors to ring and a letter box from which peeked out the corner of a piece of post somepony hadn’t pushed all the way through. Meadow came up beside me, chuckling, and deftly opened the door which creaked slightly on its hinges. I’d have to oil that later.

I collected the letter and followed her inside. The atmosphere was surprisingly light and airy, the smallish windows restricting light to a degree but still giving enough to keep the place bright enough to be comfortable. Bookshelves lined the walls with collections of decorative plates, paintings of landscapes, and ponies. It was all very…Meadow.

I looked at the pictures in the quiet of the living room, a portrait of a familiar face catching my attention; Apple Pop, Meadows father, stood there in his uniform looking proud and professional. He’d been an inspiration in the watch and was virtually a legend there. I wonder what he’d think now…

Sparrow’s laughter rang through the cottage from another room and I caught a glimpse of her with another colourful plush, ‘flying’ it through the air while she galloped and leapt about the room. Her tiny wings were developing so fast! One day soon I’d see her fly and I’d be able to fly with her. What a day that would be!

The next picture was of…me? It was! There I stood, in my dress watch uniform at the formal passing out ceremony holding my badge. Where had she got this from? And there…more pictures of me, Meadow and then…landscapes…beautiful landscapes of Equestria. They were all unsigned and looked so familiar, why?

A clink from behind me drew my attention away from the paintings to see Meadow placing a cake stand down on the dark oak table. A pot of tea under a cosy and two china cups next to it, sat ready for pouring. The grass green mare sat back in the large wicker chair and leaned back with a sigh, “Well, what do you think?”

My face must have been a picture, “It’s…it’s all so…beautiful.”

“It is isn’t it. Everything you and I dreamed of.”

“That’s right! All of it is. I don’t understand Meadow, what’s going on? I’m so confused and I can’t think straight. I feel I’m forgetting something important and I just can’t put my hoof on it.”

Meadow ran a hoof through her mane and I poured the tea, my magic enveloping the tea pot with practised ease. She smiled, with a far away look which I couldn’t quite make out, “It’s the adjustment process. It’ll take a little while for you to get used to things here and then this,” she waved a hoof indicating the interior of the cottage, “…will all become an everyday part of your life.”

I reached out a hoof and gently touch her foreleg, “Is something wrong love?”

“Wrong? No, not really, I still can’t believe you’re here. I was only speaking to you this morning and then all of a sudden I have Aethel’s secretary calling me and there you are, stood there like…”

She sniffed.

I took a sip of my tea, “Like what?”

“Like you’d never been away! Haven’t you noticed anything about yourself, about me? Anything?”

Although it was always considered rude to stare, I did so at Meadow who had an intent look of expectation on her face. Scratching my head, I gave here a cheeky grin, “You look as beautiful as you did that first day I met you, but then, you always did. Always have.”

She nodded, “And?”

“What?”

Meadow rolled her eyes, “What about yourself?”

Shrugging, I looked at my foreleg, “Me? I look the same as always, grey.” A shame really, I’d always thought when I died I’d end up white or gold, maybe silver! Shining and glowing like the sun or starlight, that would have been so cool!

Meadow clicked her tongue, “You can’t tell by looking at your leg, you daft bugger, here…” She picked up a mirror and passed it to me in her magic. Good grief, she could have done that in the first place! I gave her a long suffering look and gazed at my reflection in the mirror, “I…”

The image reflected back at me was…me…but not me. The scar had gone, vanished! The fur on my face was lustrous and smooth, my horn neat and there was a distinct absence of all the smaller scars I’d accrued over the years. My eyes were the most shocking thing though…they were brown, just as they had been before my misadventure in…in where?

Placing the mirror down, I looked up at the gorgeous mare, “Meadow, I look”, I took a deep breath, “I look like I did when I was in my early twenties! Why are my eyes brown again and why can’t I remember why they were blue?”

She clicked her tongue, “I’ve already told you why! Honestly Fairlight, do you ever listen?”

My ears drooped and I held the hot cup of tea in my hooves, “Of course I listen, it’s just this is all so confusing, it’s like I’m trapped in some dream world and I’m going to wake up and all this will disappear. I’ve already had somepony mucking with my head and here we go again! My memories feel like somepony smashed them to pieces and they’re all jumbled up in there.”

“So”, I said looking at her over a fairy cake, “How come I remember you and Sparrow?”

“Page sixteen”

“What about page sixteen?”

Meadow magicked over my guide book, flipping to the correct page and pushed it under my muzzle, “Here”.

I read the title next to the friendly picture of a pony with a big question mark over its head, ‘CONFUSED?’ It read…bloody right! I read on…

‘Right now, you may be experiencing anxiety and some confusion due to your recent soul-realignment. This is perfectly natural and should be expected.’ A ponies smiling face was drawn in the margin.

‘Memory dislocation often occurs during relocation. In the case of trauma prior to arrival, symptoms may often be exacerbated. Fortunately, in the majority of cases, these are temporary and the individual’s pre-mort recollections and memories should return in their entirety.’ Well, that was encouraging!

‘You will also find your appearance has altered during your transition. This is your mind and body’s optimal state based upon…’

I took a bite of my cake, skipping over the techno-babble, ‘You will be assigned a case worker to help you adjust. However in most cases, a member of your family is usually assigned to help you upon your arrival.’

I looked up at Meadow who smiled knowingly, “A member of my family”, I said raising an eyebrow, “…family”.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” She said sipping her tea, “your memories will come back soon, love. I could tell you about them, but it’s not recommended as it can cause more confusion. Just try to keep calm, relax and they’ll come back naturally. When that’s done, we’ll go and meet your old friends.”

“My old friends?”

“Oh yes! They’re driving me nuts going on about you all the time.”

Sighing I stared out of the window at the azure blue sky, “I’m sorry, Meadow…I’m not myself right now”, I held up my foreleg, “Not myself at all it seems”.

Meadow shrugged, “How do you think I felt when I came here? I was pregnant, terrified and alone. Dad was away with work and I had to be assigned a case worker straight away until they could get Mum here. You’re lucky I don’t live that far from Aethel’s office.”

I shook my head, “I didn’t realise, I’m sorry. I’m being selfish…”

“No”, she said, laying a hoof on mine, “I am, I shouldn’t be throwing all this at you. Come on, lets just enjoy the tea and cakes, then we can sit in the garden and enjoy the sunset.”

“What about Sparrow?”

“She’s playing, she’s not helpless you know. Now then, try these blue frosted ones, I think you’ll really enjoy the minty taste…”

Warm sunlight filtered into the bedroom through the narrow gap in the curtains, it was bright and wonderfully inviting. Everyday was like this…perfect. It rarely rained and when It did it was usually at night, providing just enough water for the plants to be healthy. Carefully, I slipped out of the bed. Meadow was still dozing beside me and snuggled into the pillow murmuring softly in her sleep.

Resisting the urge to give her a nuzzle, I quietly left the room and sneaked past Sparrows bedroom into the kitchen and finally the garden. The sun was brilliant in the morning and the birds sang a happy refrain as it rose into the sky. I don’t suppose I’d been here that long, but it was hard to say to be sure. Meadow had told me the eternal herd’s realm had a different time line to that of the mortal one and it wasn’t ‘straight’ either, meaning that it was virtually impossible to predict.

Gradually over the days, my memories had started to come back piece by tiny piece. First were my memories of family, then friends and loved one, eventually places, events until like a well bubbling up with water from its depths, I was finally ‘me’ again. In some ways, I wished I wasn’t. This place, this world, it didn’t feel ‘right’ for me. Now I don’t mean that I wasn’t happy here, it was without doubt the most wonderful place I had ever been, not to mention I was finally with my wife and foal who filled my life here with joy. No, there was something…’off’ about my being here, like I hadn’t accepted it or conversely, been accepted by it. Whatever it was, it was driving me crazy and I’d been irritable the last couple of days until my ‘case worker’, Verity Sparks, had written to us to say she was going to be arriving for an ‘Introductory Visit’. Bloody marvellous. I really wished I had my pipe and a brandy right now, but there was little in the house except tea, coffee, juice and water.

I shook my mane and a shudder ran down my spine, “What the hell’s wrong with me?”

“Daddy?”

Sparrow stood behind me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with a foreleg. She yawned expansively before I scooped her up in my hooves and gave her a kiss on her forehead, “Good morning my sleepy girl, how are you this morning?”

“Mmmm-okay”, Sparrow smiled up at me. She was bigger now, her yellow eyes keen and bright, those wings looking stronger and more flight worthy every day.

“Have you been practising your flying when I was away? You need to get them nice and strong so you can soar…” I whisked her up into the air, “…like a bird!”

She squeaked and shrieked with laughter, her sleepiness gone in an instant. Sparrow flapped her wings and I could feel the power in them, the way they pushed at the air and I knew then that it wouldn’t be long before we had a very mobile daughter. Goodness knows how Meadow would catch her then! Ah, probably my job, but…come to think of it, I hadn’t used my spirit’s power since coming here. I hadn’t seen the need, nor did I really feel like I wanted to. The anger, rage and hatred that tended to accompany it just wasn’t there. Furthermore, my eyes no longer had that magical blue glow to them; I was just a pony…at least, in appearance.

“Daddy?”

Sparrow tapped my leg and I looked down, “Yes, love?”

“Are you going away again soon?”

My eyebrows shot up and my mouth hung open, “I…No…no love, I don’t think so. Why are you asking, is everything okay?”

“You don’t look happy, daddy. Every day you look across the fields and your eyes are sad.”

My heart skipped a beat and I looked up to gaze out at the beautiful scenery. The grass, the trees, the woodland and the lane which disappeared into the distance. I mussed her mane, “I’m not going anywhere love, don’t you worry.”

“Do you miss the scary pony?”

“Scary…? Oh! You mean Shadow?” I sighed, “I do love, yes. And Tingles and Lumin too.”

“I like Tingles, she’s got wings like me! I’m going to fly like her and zooooom!” She rushed off, flapping her wings and jumping, the wild flapping propelling her further and higher than a normal jump. She was growing so fast. Like Lumin…without his dad, without me…

Sparrow’s laughter abruptly stopped and she stood on her hind legs leaning up to me, “Daddy you’re crying, are you sad?”

“I…Am I?” I reached up and sure enough, tears ran down my cheeks, “Oh! Sorry love, daddies just being silly, we’ll all be together one day. You waited a long time for me to come home, didn’t you?”

“Yeah!” Sparrow hugged me, her tiny forelegs barely covering my chest. It was agonisingly adorable, “I love you daddy”

A heartfelt surge of emotion pounded through me and I held the little foal close, kissing her on the forehead again, “And I love you too, my beautiful daughter. Never forget that okay?”

“Okay!”

“Now, come on, let’s get your…”

“-Breakfast?” Meadow stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame smiling at us. Her mane and tail were a mess and she had that early morning sleepy look which I found oddly attractive. Goddesses I loved her so much.

“Mmmmm”, I reached a foreleg around her neck and kissed her on the lips, “I know what I’d like for breakfast…”

“Fairlight!” she laughed pushing me away, “Not in front of Sparrow!”

The small grey Pegasus jumped about around our hooves, “I want sugar sparkles! Sugar sparkles, sugar sparkles!”

“Good grief! All right then you little pest,” I laughed scooping her up, “come on, lets get you hyped up on sugar. Bloody hell, I hope they have good dentistry round here.”

Meadow tapped me on the nose, “Language, mister”

I rolled my eyes and trotted into the kitchen to feed the lovable pestering child.

We finished our breakfast and Sparrow ran off to play, suitably filled with a sugary mix of milk and whatever mysterious concoction was in that colourful cereal packet. Meadow passed me the crockery and I began washing up the dishes; it was our morning routine now and it worked pretty well. I’d always been a big believer in fairness and sharing, in my mind it was a way of keeping harmony and balance I suppose. Well, it was more an ideal than anything else, I can but dream.

Meadow dried one of the breakfast bowls, “She adores you, you know.”

“I know,” I replied wiping one of the bowls, “she’s the best daughter we could have ever wished for, that anypony could wish for. She’s growing so fast too, you’ll need a net to catch the little pest when she starts taking wing.”

Meadow chuckled, “I know, her wings are so strong now. I picked her up the other day and one of her wings caught me a right clip around the ear. She didn’t mean to and was really upset afterwards, but I just couldn’t believe the strength in them, they look so fragile.”

I nodded, “Probably gets that from your side love, there weren’t many pegasi on mine. The tribe had a thing for unicorns.”

“You still do, don’t you?”

“Oh yes!”

I eyed that gorgeous green flank while she placed the crockery in the cupboard and turned to face me taking her pinny off, “Fairlight…”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course love, what’s up?”

“Its…look, I don’t want to…”

I smiled at her, “Meadow, come on now. No secrets between us, okay?”

She sniffed, “Other than the ‘Loam’ thing?”

Nodding I sniffed, “Except the ‘Loam’ thing!”

Meadow shook her mane, her face suddenly serious, “Fairlight, are you happy here, with me, with Sparrow?”

My heart lurched in my chest, “Of course I am! Good goddesses, Meadow, why would you think I wasn’t?”

She lowered her head, her ears drooping a little, “Because…because you keep staring out up the lane back towards Aethel’s office. I’ve seen you, its everyday Fairlight and its frightening me. I spent so long here without you, missing you, and then all of a sudden, here you are! And yet…you’re not ‘quite here’ somehow.”

I sat on my haunches and fetched the teapot. I didn’t know what to say. I certainly did feel detached from this place, but not from Meadow and Sparrow, not from them.

“It’s Shadow, Tingles and Lumin isn’t it?” She said quietly.

Pouring the tea out, I closed me eyes for a moment, “I don’t know love. I suppose so, I do miss them. They’re our family after all, and it was all so sudden. I never got to see Lumin’s first birthday you know? I never got to say goodbye, and I can’t get the feeling I left something behind out of my head…I don’t feel this place is…”

I shook myself and took a gulp of the tea, “Oh I don’t know! It’s probably this ‘adjustment process’ or whatever it says in that stupid guide book.”

Meadow stood where she was and I caught the glint of something fall, “Oh goddesses, no…” I rushed to her, “Meadow, don’t love, please. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry, oh no…”

She sniffed and looked up while I brushed her tears away. Looking into my eyes, Meadow grabbed me and kissed me, “I love you, you stupid stallion. I want us to be with everypony, but I want to be with you and Sparrow too. I guess…I just don’t want to be alone again, Fairlight.”

Meadow hugged me tight, “I don’t want to be without you ever again.”

I nuzzled her and playfully kissed her nose, “You taste salty, miss Tingles. I like salt.”

She reached up and nibbled my ear, “I know you do…my bad stallion, maybe we should…you know?”

Sparrow rushed in, “Mummy, Daddy, there’s a funny looking pony at the gate. She’s all stripy!”

A high pitched grating voice called into the house, “Hello? Heeelllooooo?”

I rolled my eyes, releasing Meadow. Any thoughts of a morning fooling about with her disappeared with the arrival of, I guessed, the bloody ‘case worker’.

“Shit”, I muttered to myself, “The old bags bloody well early too!”

Meadow chuckled, “Sorry love, maybe later, eh? And will you watch that swearing!” She gave me a whack on the behind.

I shrugged, giving her a cheeky smirk before trotting to the gate to meet our ‘stripy’ visitor.

The bizarrely coated mare stood on the other side of our white gate, peering over from under her huge yellow sun hat and half moon spectacles. Sparrow hadn’t been exaggerating either, our visitors coat was a tiger striped affair of red and yellow, with a pair of vivid purple eyes in a slightly pudgy face. She was a middle aged mare and had an air of authority around her that suggested to me she expected to do the talking. As for me…well, I don’t think I needed to finish that line of thought.

“Hello, miss…?”

“Its ‘Ms’ actually, Ms Sparks, Verity Sparks.” The school mistress type didn’t really appeal to me, but I didn’t mind playing the naughty school boy in the right place and time, “Am I addressing Mister Fairlight Loam, formerly of Equestria?”

I cleared my throat, “It’s Lord actually” I peered at her clipboard pretending to be looking for my name on the list, “Lord Fairlight, of the tribe of the four winds.”

She glowered at me over her glasses and tossed her bangs out of her eyes, “Really? It doesn’t say anything about ‘titles’ in your dossier.”

I chuckled, “Just call me Fairlight, Ms Sparks, or may I call you Verity?”

The case worker looked unfazed, “Ms Sparks, please…’Lord’ Fairlight”

I rolled my eyes, turning to let her follow me into the house. Meadow was waiting with a freshly made pot of tea and some scones. Our enigmatic visitors’ eyes lit up when she saw her, “Meadow! Good gracious, what are you doing here?!”

“I don’t believe it! Sparky!”

I sat on my haunches and chuckled to myself, “Sparky!” I think she heard me, as Ms Sparks shot me a look that could have frozen my blood solid.

“Meadow”, she sniffed, turning back to the green mare, “I didn’t realise you’d moved on, the last time I saw you was…well, you know.”

“I know”, Meadow smiled sadly, “Things didn’t quite work out as I’d planned. But I got married, ended up here, and had Sparrow Song who you’ve already met.”

“That cute little foal’s yours? She’s gorgeous! Oooh! I’m SO jealous!”

Meadow stuck out a hind leg, nearly tripping me up, “And where are you going mister?”

Damn it! “Um, well, you ladies are clearly old friends and I’d hate to interrupt your re-union, so I’ll pop out for a while and let you catch up.”

“You will do no such thing!” Meadow stomped her hoof, Ms Sparks’ eyes boring into me while she pushed her glasses back up her muzzle.

The stripy mare huffed, “I am here to speak to you, ‘Lord’ Fairlight, on the subject to your recent acceptance into the eternal herd.”

Oh bollocks, this looked like it was going to take a while…”Tea?”

Thank the goddess for Meadow. Ms Sparks appeared to be an old acquaintance of hers although I knew next to nothing about her other than she worked for what passed as the ‘authorities’ here. Even being dead didn’t get you away from bloody bureaucracy!

Ms Sparks began by explained, in general terms, about the layout of the realm, but a lot of it went over my head. Regardless of the feeling of being calm and relaxed which seemed to leach into your very bones here, I still had that disjointed feeling that the ministry mare was not exactly doing much to relieve.

“So, Fairlight, how are you finding your new home?” She asked tapping her folder with her quill, “You must be happy to be in such a beautiful place with your family, right?”

I nodded, “Of course, how could I not be? I get blown up and all of sudden I’m in a fairytale land in a fairytale cottage with my beautiful wife and daughter. Add to that picture, the fact that I now look half my age for some reason, my memories go through a blender and everyday looks like summer.”

I looked out of the window, “I’ll be honest with you Ms. Sparks, it’s all so good, so wonderful, that it doesn’t seem right…like I’m not meant to be here. A dream I’m going to wake up from.”

Meadow shook her head and looked concernedly at her friend. Ms Sparks smiled at me like I was some frightened foal, “I understand, I really do. It’s a frightening experience sometimes for ponies entering the herd. This realm was created by the god and goddess for us for when we ‘pass over’. Your home, this wonderful cottage, was what Meadow had in her heart and soul when she died and the realm ‘recognises’ that and brings it into being ready for the new arrival.”

“All very convenient,” I said trying my best not to sound sarcastic, “but how come we never see anypony? Why’s it just us? You’re the only other pony we’ve seen in ages!”

She lifted the quill and made some notes, “Because, Fairlight, you are currently in a state of quarantine.”

“WHAT?! QUARANTINE!” I banged the table making the mares jump in fright, “Do you think I’ve got fucking rabies of something? Am I a prisoner? Is this why I can’t see my parents or friends?”

“Mister Fairlight, Please!” Ms Sparks said in alarm, “You are a special case you know, wendigo’s are…very rare in the herd.”

My heart was thundering in my chest, “I don’t understand this, if I’m dead what does being a wendigo matter anyway? I was a pony before the blasted spirit inhabited me, what, do you think I’m going to go on some psychotic rampage or something?”

Ms Sparks looked at Meadow and she nodded, “Very well. Fairlight, you probably didn’t know this, but the herd has not had a new wendigo in a long time, a very, very long time.”

“They are here though, aren’t they?”

“Yes, of course, unless they opt for reincarnation of course”

“Reincarnation?”

“Haven’t you read the guide book?”

I hadnt.

She shook her head, “Page one hundred.” Miss Sparks took a sip of her tea, “Wendigo’s, like you, have their powers ‘sealed’ when they arrive. You may have experienced a ‘tingling’ feeling when you passed through the doorway?”

I nodded, I didn’t like the way this was going.

“I’m afraid that the unpredictable and dangerous nature of wendigo’s would upset the balance here in the herd and, after all like you said yourself, they were ponies to begin with were they not?”

I shook my head, looking to Meadow for support, “I’m ‘dangerous and unpredictable’? Dear goddess, you make me sound like I’m not safe to be around. I’d never hurt my family or anypony, Ms Sparks.”

She raised an eyebrow and took out a list which she passed to me, “Do you recognise any of these names?”

I looked down the list. Most I didn’t know, but there…’Melon Patch’, ‘Gates’ and some other names I recognised too…”These are all ponies I…”

She took back the list from me, “That’s right Fairlight, I think you can see now why some here were, shall we say, ‘reluctant’ to allow you entry at all. Don’t worry though, your quarantine will be over soon, once the ethics committee have considered you case.”

“Considered? What if they don’t think I should be released from quarantine?”

She stared at me, her face blank, before that half smile I’d begun to associate with her re-appeared, “Lets not think about that right now, eh? Happy smiles is what the herd is all about!” It wasn’t reassuring.

“Now, I’ll take my leave and leave you two lovebirds in peace…”

Meadow reached out and caught Ms Sparks’ hoof, a look of worry on her face, “Verity, please…I’m worried about him” she looked me in the face while addressing her friend, “He’s not ‘settling’ the way I was told he should, is this really just the adjustment period? Maybe you can get him some help?”

The committee mare held her hoof and smiled warmly, “Meadow darling, of course you’re worried, it’s only natural. Everypony adjusts at their own speed and Fairlight is just a little ‘slower’ than normal that’s all.” She laughed, “Must be a stallion thing!”

I laughed sarcastically, “Ha, ha, very funny…” I climbed out of the chair and walked to the door, “Don’t you think a few visitors to my idyllic prison cell would help me ‘adjust’, Ms Sparks? Or are you worried I’ll infect them with my sickness?”

Her half smile quavered for a moment, “There’s no need for that attitude Fairlight, I’m not your enemy you know.”

Meadow gave me a look which suggested I’d be getting a lecture later on.

“Look”, Ms Sparks sighed, “I’ll see what I can do. Meadow’s already suggested somepony, so all I can say is to leave it with me. Principal Starswirl has a particular interest in your case, so I will be speaking to him this afternoon.”

“Starswirl the bearded?”

“Are there any others by that name?”

“Well, now that you come to mention it…”

She tutted and walked to the door, giving Meadow a hug before we walked her to the gate, “I’ll do what I can for you Fairlight, just…be on your best behaviour, alright?”

“Yes, Ms Sparky” I replied sarcastically.

She narrowed her eyes and shook her head, “Good luck, Meadow.” And in a quiet voice added, “You’re going to need it.”

I opened my mouth to reply but a hoof from my wife stopped me and I bit my tongue. That bloody stripy mare! Still, if she could get me out of this quarantine…but what then? Where could I go? What about Shadow, Tingles and Lumin?

The mare disappeared up the lane and then simply vanished.

Meadow looked at me sadly, “I’m sorry love, I had a feeling they’d do something like this but you arrived so suddenly, nopony told me about it until just now.”

I sat down on the garden bench, “Its alright, I’m not surprised. What does surprise me is that they allowed me in at all. Good goddesses, that list…all those lives…”

“But you’re here now, aren’t you, that’s what’s important, love. Please, I just want us to be happy. It’s not much to ask is it?”

She nuzzled me and snuggled in on the bench next to me, “You know,” I said quietly, “When we met in the glade, I was so happy to see you and yet, terribly sad too. I wanted you to stay, or to leave with you. Now I’m here, it’s hard to get my head around it.”

I kissed her, “But I will, don’t you worry! With my wonderful and beautiful mare by my side, how could I not?”

Meadow giggled, “I missed you terribly you know Fairlight. You were always rushing about doing dangerous things. Mind you, there was something about that.”

“What?”

She snuggled into me, ”Mmmm, dangerous…unpredictable…” Meadow reached down and grabbed something that made me gasp, “you are a bad boy. And I haven’t forgotten your swearing or being rude to my friend.”

“So what are you going to do about it, Miss Meadow?”

“I’m going to have to be strict I’m afraid, and take you firmly in hoof.”

With that, she took my hoof and pulled it down to her haunches, “Sparrow’s dozing in the playroom, so we’ll have to be quiet. Can you be quiet?”

“Oh, yes. Let’s see if you can be too…”

Meadow’s coat was as silky soft and smooth as the day I’d met her, her feminine fragrance tantalising my nose. She was my first love and filled my heart with joy and warmth. So many things had changed in our lives and yet here we were, kissing and loving one another in the warm sun of a perfect day in the realm of the eternal herd. I had known sadness, loss, pain and torment, all the negative emotions no pony should ever have to face and now, at long last, it was gone. I was adrift in a sea of calm and happiness I’d never known since my beloved Meadow had been so cruelly taken from me. But now, she was here and in my embrace.

She giggled and looked up into my eyes, “What are you thinking, my ‘lord’ Fairlight?”

Smiling, I kissed her nose, “About how much I love you…”

Meadow’s eyes glistened and she threw her forelegs around me tightly, “Oh goddesses Fairlight, I’ve never felt happier than I do now.”

In a flourish, she jumped from the bench and gave her mane a shake, “Come on, we’d better get the dinner on and then we can go for a walk if you fancy.”

And so we did, the excellent meal of heritage vegetables and mushroom soup as warming and satisfying as our stroll through the lush fields around the cottage.

Days passed, each as blissful as the last. Watching my daughter growing and developing, helping Meadow with little tasks around the house, it was like being in some dream which I never wanted to wake from. I still thought about Tingles, Shadow, Lumin and even little Tarragon, but I knew in my heart they were unharmed and safe with our friends in the village. I was still anxious to see them, but surely there would be some way to visit the mortal realm them as Meadow had with me.

Apparently though, the ‘quarantine’ had put paid to any excursions beyond the brow of the hill and that included communications from the mortal realm which weren’t really supposed to be allowed anyway. Starswirl’s position in the herd obviously had its advantages.

The fields, the cottage, it truly was a wonderful fairytale home, even if it was a prison of sorts; they could throw away the key for all I cared. I’d watch Meadow trot off to the market in the nearby town to go shopping and return some time later with wonderful things for the table. I’d tried to go there myself a few times only to find I’d somehow returned back to the lane outside the cottage, not that I was really bothered by it to be honest, who would be?

My only concern real was I’d become bored. Eternity was a long time…