On days like today where I hadn't set an alarm the previous night, one of my two roommates would usually wake me up instead. I had Princess-mandated cleaning and socializing to get to, after all.

Today, though, I woke up on my own. And I knew I'd slept longer than I should; I could feel it in that vague "natural body clock" kind of way. It was not unwelcome, though – in the past three weeks, my opportunities to sleep in were almost nonexistent. A drastic change from my life back on Earth, even if it certainly wasn't the biggest of the drastic changes.

I blearily looked around and saw Lyra at the dining room table, munching on a salad. She was wearing a t-shirt, jacket, jeans, and sneakers. The mint green unicorn gave me a casual wave as I showed signs of wakefulness.

Groaning, I pulled myself up to a sitting position, naturally looking down. I could feel air on my skin. My blanket had fallen off onto the floor in the middle of the night. Had I been turning over more than usual?

There was another problem, and it took me a second to realize it. It couldn't be, but it was: My dick and balls were poking out of the gap in my underwear, right where I'd left them last night. Sleeping on my side with no blanket, it would've been clear for anyone in the hallway to see – ALL MORNING.

"Shit!!" I shrieked, pulling up the blanket and covering myself.

Lyra laughed. Laughed! I looked at her in bewilderment. My shocked and embarrassed expression just seemed to set her off even more.

I adjusted myself using the blanket as cover, then tried to use it as a cloak while I hastily got my pants on. I was in so much trouble for this. Lyra might be a good sport about it for whatever reason, but Bon Bon…! How I wasn't dead yet was a mystery, made worse by the thought that she was saving her lecture or punishment or banishment for later.

With me being a confirmed sexual deviant in this world, Bon Bon's one rule for me staying here was a very clearly defined "no shenanigans." She didn't want me and Lyra and anything sexual in the same room, let alone the same universe of possibilities. And I'd broken that rule in the worst possible way.

"Geez, calm down. You're sweating up a local weather event over there," Lyra chided me calmly.

"CALM DOWN?! I- Okay, true or false: Bon Bon and you saw my… y'know… this morning."

Lyra finished chewing her slice of cucumber and swallowed. "True." And she grinned.

"Okay, so… I'm dead, right?" The unicorn started giggling again. It didn't help my nerves. "Bon Bon's gonna kill me!"

"She's not gonna kill you. You're fine!" Lyra rolled her eyes and picked at the last of her meal. After chewing on some lettuce for a second, she added, "You had a really rough night, remember? We both decided to cut you some slack for what was very obviously an accident. No harm, no foul."

That worked; I calmed down a little. That was actually a reasonable response. I could accept that.

If it weren't for…

I looked down at the blanket I was using to cover my bare chest. "Um, so why didn't you cover me back up?"

"...Why?" Lyra asked.

"Um… To be spared the sight of my human genitalia?" The last word set Lyra off like an immature schoolgirl. "Hey, c'mon!" I protested.

"Sorry! Heh heh, sorry. It's just, heh, too funny!" Lyra let out a couple more chuckles and cleared her throat, trying to steady herself. She still had an amused grin on her face, though. "Nah, that didn't really occur to us. So you had your… snrrk… dick out! No big deal, right?"

Aaaaand I was right back to being bewildered again. A familiar feeling from last night. I thought I knew how this world worked, sexually – it was supposed to be very much like mine. Showing someone your private parts, even accidentally, even if everyone could understand and move on, was not 'no big deal!' Was I wrong? Were Lyra and Bon Bon an exception? But Bon Bon clearly wasn't. Yet…

I had to pry further. "So, what?" I started sarcastically. "You're okay with me walking around naked now?"

Lyra smirked. "Do you want to?"

Tou-fucking-ché. She had me there. "Nnnope," I replied, channeling my inner Big Mac.

My cheeks burned as I reached for my shirt and put it on, so I could at least make it to the shower with my dignity intact. I felt awkward as hell, but Lyra's mirth was friendly and casual as she got up from the table. "Oh, lighten up Pascal. I don't care either way, and I'm sure Bons will tell you the same thing."

I let out a gasp as I put on my shirt, as though I'd been submerged in my own half-nudity. "I highly doubt that, Lyra."

"What, you don't trust me?" was her answer. My brain instantly interpreted that as sarcasm, but at a second glance she actually looked genuinely hurt, if only slightly. "I was poking fun, but I'm not trying to prank you or anything. After last night, I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable, is all. So if you're naked sometimes in our home – whatever! Don't sweat it!"

I stared at her for a few tense seconds, blood pounding in my ears, then rushed down the hall. "Gotta shower."

More like gotta pretend I didn't get halfway erect from that.

I didn't masturbate in the shower. Firstly because it was a bad place to do it. Proper footing was an issue when you're tensing all those lower body muscles on a potentially slippery surface. And secondly because the last two sessions had gotten me directly into trouble, and I didn't want to imagine what the universe would come up with if I tried for a third. Nope, time to go cold turkey for the rest of my life. (Because the last few times I'd tried that had been SO successful.)

Still, the soap and warm water did their job, helping me relax and feel clean again; grime of a both physical and spiritual nature washed off of me, and I stepped out of the shower ready to face a less crazy day.

A towel wrapped around my waist, I crossed from the bathroom into the stand-in closet where I was keeping my clothes and searched for a new set of clean garments. I had forgotten to do that before jumping in the shower, but thankfully I'd just had laundry done, so…

"Hey, Pascal…"

"YeAAHH!" My mind had already started saying 'yeah' before the rest of me realized that Lyra had barged in on me changing clothes. My hands scrambled to make sure the towel was still around my waist – it was.

"Sorry if I caught you off guard during that talk earlier. I'm wasn't trying to pressure you into going nudist. Geez, I'm not that kind of pony! I was just making sure you… y'know, you looked really scared for a second there, and I was trying to…" Lyra seemed to have a hard time getting through her words. Not that she looked flustered or embarrassed by the subject matter, I noticed, but just a general failure to communicate.

"...I think I get it," I said, even though I kind of didn't.

Lyra smiled, relieved. "Okay, good. It was… kind of a silly thing to get hung up over, I know, but you get the general idea. Just do whatever makes you feel comfortable."

The words 'do' and 'whatever' automatically triggered a subroutine in my mental processes that caused my eyes to shift down to her jacket-covered chest, initiating a number of lurid daydreams about 'whatever' I would 'do' to the treasure within. After a few seconds of this, I tore my eyes away, swallowed hard, and said, "Thanks, Lyra. Now, um, I'm trying to change."

"Okay." She didn't move.

I think one of my eyes twitched. "Lyra?"

"Yeah?"

"Privacy, please?"

"Oh, sure. If that's what you want." Finally, mercifully, she left the closet and headed back to… wherever she'd come from.

I looked down at my towel-covered crotch, where I could feel my now fully erect boner brushing up against my thigh. "Fffffuck you," I muttered at it.

No choice, then. I had to get this out of my system while I had the chance. Moving behind a row of coats, I started rubbing my dick with one hand while I kept the towel up with the other, in case I heard Lyra coming back this way. God, the unicorn's words had lit a fire in my mind…

Just walk around naked, Pascal, it's fine. We don't mind if we see your cock getting hard after seeing our beautiful bodies. Oh, you want us to be naked too? I'm sure Bon Bon won't mind… Just let us know if our perfect naked breasts make you too 'uncomfortable,' and we'll gladly take your cock in our mouths… or in our breasts… Just sneak up behind Bon Bon while she's cooking in nothing but an apron, grab those tits from behind, and shove that cock into her perfectly soft ass… She won't mind. Neither will I. And after that, if you want, we can all retire the bedroom for a hot, steamy threesome… every night… What can you imagine? A double-titfuck? One of us sucking your shaft while the other worships your balls? Fucking me while my best friend rides your mouth? Just watching us as we have that passionate lesbian sex you've been overhearing through these thin walls? Whatever you want, Pascal… Whatever you want and we'll do it… Whatever… makes you… comfortable… Pascal…!

I came powerfully. Unlike last night's pathetic, barely-there performance, this made me twitch in some very good ways, pumping my hips and squeezing the head of my dick even harder through the towel as I stained it. This had been a good one, satisfying even. Better than I'd felt in a long time. Even the way my heart pounded in my chest as I recovered my breath felt good.

Then I remembered I'd just masturbated in my roommates' closet. I checked to make sure Lyra hadn't somehow been watching the whole time, and quickly got my clean clothes on before dumping the towel in the laundry hamper.

A quick hand-washing later, and I was back out in the living room, prepared to face the day. Lyra was by the door, getting ready to leave. I checked the clock next to the couch – it was nearly 11. Normally Twilight would want me up by no later than 8. I was unreasonably pleased with this.

Lyra finished putting on her shoes and got up to face me. "I'm heading to the market. I might be able to beat the lunch rush if I hurry. Anything I should look out for while I'm there?"

"Any kind of protein, if you can spring for it," I replied. I was starving for something that wasn't vegetables or sweets. "We're almost out of eggs… Wouldn't hurt to get another gallon of milk, either."

Lyra nodded. "You do love your milk. Anything else? Want me to find some meat? Sausage?"

I shrugged. "Eh."

"Alright. Got any plans?"

"Well… Get out and see if the townsfolk don't hate me anymore. That's about it."

She gave me a thumbs up. "Good plan! Anyway, I'll see you later."

"See ya."

I relaxed a little bit as she finally left the house. At last, a normal conversation that had nothing to do with-

I smacked my forehead and cursed out loud. Protein. Eggs. Milk. Meat. Sausage. Thank god I didn't have a fetish for innuendo.

This was my life now.

It was a while later that I locked the door behind me and ventured out onto Ponyville's streets myself. Twilight's directive was to 'show that humans can make friends with ponies,' but really my goal today was to see the results of last night's mob cooldown. Did my words take? Was there still going to be some resentment? Most likely, I thought. Couldn't be helped.

I was still getting used to Ponyville's winding roads, but thankfully Twilight's crystal castle towering over the village houses served as a common reference point, so my chances of getting lost were low. I knew where the market was, but a group of people that dense was usually a bad idea for a pariah like me. So I decided to make my way to the town hall. Still enough people to see, but significantly less packed at this time of day.

Of course, I was confronted with the problem I always faced when I went outside – I was surrounded by impossibly beautiful pony-women.

Every mare I came across was a stacked goddess from a wide variety. Short, tall, fat, thin, muscled… Breasts of every size between simple E-cup melons to gargantuan jugs stretching out nearly a foot and a half in front of them, still perfectly shaped and bouyant. But more than that: Each pony was a different appealing color, each one had a beautiful mane, cute ears, an eye-grabbing tail that highlighted their shapely rears… And above that, lovely faces that expressed an appealing array of charming and attractive personalities, with unique desires and aspirations and goals. I tried my very best to keep my eyes straight ahead, but my willpower was as weak as ever.

By some miracle, though, there was some improvement. When a mare caught me looking at them, they no longer glared at me or shouted at me, nor did any stallions nearby come up to scold me for looking at their girls. Instead, they either dismissed me nonchalantly or simply waved back politely. My habits hadn't really changed after last night's traumatic experience, but the reactions of everyone around me had.

I was more relieved than curious at this point. Not having to dread going outside? Yes, please. If that was all the spell did, I'd be more than content.

It was around then that the implications occurred to me for the first time, that I could maybe get away with more than just being my usual self. It didn't even hit me in any particularly dramatic or exciting way, just, 'Huh, I wonder if I could really do anything.'

I dismissed it pretty quickly. I was in no mood to press my luck today.

That was the moment I was ambushed by pink.

"Woah!" I stepped back, surprised. To me, it looked like Pinkie Pie had popped up out of nowhere, getting right in my face.

That poofy pink mane frizzing out all over, that blue and white and pink candy-decorated dress, that big soft frame and those… mouth-wateringly huge tits, nearly three times the size of her head (I could only guess) yet light as balloons? Who else could it be? And how the hell could someon- somepony as big as her get the drop on me?

"Hey, Pascal! Wow, so you're okay to talk to now, huh? That's great!" She grabbed me by the head and pulled me into a chaste one-armed hug that still rubbed me up against her clothed chest. "I was gonna give you a big ol' Welcome to Ponyville party once you got out of the hospital after getting all checked and quarantined and making sure you weren't going to infect us with alien diseases and stuff, but Twilight and everyone else said no! And I said to them, 'What? That's loco…!"

I missed most of what she said for a while, all too aware of how close I was to Pinkie's amazing rack. I struggled valiantly to re-listen to her rapidfire train of thought.

"…you with a ten-foot pole going to help? That's just going to make things worse!' And I was totally right, wasn't I! But I trusted Twilight and waited like I was told, and eventually she found a solution! Hooray for Twilight! Now we can start over with a fresh clean slate!" She finally released me, and I stumbled back in a stunned daze. "So guess what? You're getting a party, mister Pascal! A proper Pinkie Pie party, like I was going to in the first place!"

I finally found the presence to speak, but not to tear my eyes away from her breasts as they bounced in response to her bouncing in place as she spoke. Boing-a-boing-a-boing-a. "I… That's very generous, Pinkie. Thank you."

Pinkie giggled. "You're welcome. Now, Harvest was there for your speech, and she told Mrs. Cake today, who told me, all about how you said what we did was bad and we should feel bad. And I thought, 'That makes sense!' After all, I stood by and did nothing, since…"

She lowered her voice to a whisper for a second. "...I was a little scared of you too…"

Then her voice picked up like it was nothing. "…so obviously I have to make up for it! So here's what I'm going to do. I'm gonna make sure your Welcome to Ponyville Pinkie Pie Party is the best possible party specially tailored to you! You're gonna feel so welcomed personally it's like we never almost ran you out of town! But I'm gonna need some ideas from you. Who should I invite? What kind of games should we play? What's your favorite cake flavor?"

Boing, b-boing, boing. "Sure, Pinkie. That's great."

Then she fucking shimmied her shoulders. Jiggled those giant clothed breasts right in front of me. On purpose. My face went red in a heartbeat, and I forced myself to look back up into her big blue eyes, which conveyed only a puzzled curiosity. "Wooow. You really can't stop looking, can you?"

I grimaced and put a hand over my eyes in shame. "Ahh, that… was kind of the whole problem. I haven't… acclimated to your world yet. I kinda can't help myself!" I hit that particular point of blushing, where you're not sure if you can have any more blood rushing to your face but your body tries anyway.

Pinkie Pie just said, "Hmmm…" And then, it was like a lightbulb had gone off over her head. She gasped and zoomed off, faster than somepony with her body time should've been capable, shouting, "I got it! Tomorrow night! Sugarcube Corner! Don't miss it, mister!"

Then she was around a corner and gone. With me standing there with the biggest blush on my face. That had been my first real interaction with Pinkie Pie since arriving here, and I wasn't really that surprised that it left me bewildered and speechless… but I was still bewildered and speechless. Par for the course, I guess.

I also came out of that conversation a little punch-drunk, or maybe lust-drunk. Just mentally inebriated in general. First she had no problem putting me in a position that rubbed up against her chest, and then she had fucking jiggled them when she caught me staring, like it was no big deal. I wasn't sure whether I was on top of the world or just having a wild hallucination.

But there was a big problem all of a sudden. I didn't know if that was just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie or if it had something to do with the magic. For all I knew, that was her normal self – complete lack of personal boundaries, unbearably nice and comfortable with everyone she meets…

She'd basically owned that interaction. I needed something on my terms. And I needed it desperately, now. Something was very wrong (or very right!), but I required a way to make absolutely sure.

I knew exactly where to go.

The location was as fresh in my mind as it was yesterday. The place where I got caught. The ponies I'd been caught by. I marched there with an almost robotic purpose, not even caring if I had a boner or not. I probably didn't. There comes a point where things get so weird that even a young man's libido has to take a back seat until the mystery at hand is solved. I'd reached that point.

I arrived within minutes at the Ponyville flower shop. Outside were Rose, Daisy, and Lily, the flower trio. Known for overreacting to the slightest thing. I tried not to look to angry as I marched up to the stand out front, but I couldn't quite help it. These were the ones who kicked into motion the mob that had nearly run out of town. I had beef.

Despite whatever casualness that had infected the rest of the ponies I'd met today, the flower trio still looked nervous and a little scared when they saw me approach. They didn't run or scream or faint, thankfully, but I was not going to be simply tolerated like everyone else had.

I stopped front of the flower arrangements and just stood there, glaring at them. I didn't trust myself to speak right away.

"Um… Hi, Pascal…" Daisy said awkwardly, not meeting my eyes.

Lily tried and failed to put on a friendly smile. "Good… afternoon?"

Rose gestured at the arrangements. "C-Care to buy a flower?"

I inhaled deeply, held it, and then exhaled. "Just like that, huh? Like nothing happened?"

They all winced in unison. Rose recovered first and said, "Well, uh, you said it yourself: We should just try to move on, right? So… can we move on?"

For a second, I considered it. Just dropping the issue and walking away from these three forever. But even without some crazy magic to test, we were going to need to have a talk anyway. I looked at Daisy specifically when I said, "Not you girls. Not until I get some closure for what happened last night."

Daisy shrunk back a little. "O… Okay…"

I suddenly didn't like the way I was affecting these girls, so I softened up a bit. "Look, I'm angry, but I'm not trying to be vengeful or spiteful here. You don't have to be afraid of me. I'm not going to do anything rash. I just want some questions answered. So... can we at least calm down, to start?"

And miraculously, they did. This, more than anything else so far, suggested that something freaky was going on with me.

One thing at a time. I looked at Daisy again. "What did you do after you… caught me yesterday?"

Daisy winced again, but she still tried to stay calm. "I… Well I told the girls here, and then we went to city hall and told everypony we could find what we'd seen you do."

"What did you say, exactly? What were your exact words?" I insisted.

"I… um… I said you had violated my flower garden."

...Fuck. So either they assumed that was a euphemism for rape, or they assumed I had been literally rubbing up on the petunias out back. I didn't know which was fucking worse!

"Is that… what you thought I was doing?" I said as evenly as I could.

Daisy shook her head. "N-No… You were just… You were just using the tall plants as cover to… to… relieve some stress, right?"

I checked the others' reactions. Nothing to that description of me masturbating. I glanced back at Daisy and nodded. "That's right. So why the hell did you exaggerate it?"

Rose slammed her hands on the table of flowers, startling me with her sudden reaction. "Isn't it obvious?! We thought you were a menace! We wanted you gone no matter what! Why are you still so upset about this?!"

Angry, I slammed my hands on the table in return, shaking a few of the arrangements out of place.

Lily stepped in and set things back in order. "Hey, watch it!"

Both of us took a step back. "Here's the deal," I grumbled. "I can't rest thinking you three are still panicking at the mere thought of me, or ready to try getting me lynched again. I need to know: Do you regret what you did?"

The three mares looked down solemnly. "Yes…" they said in unison.

"Are you going to do it again?"

"No…"

I lightened up. "Okay. So now can we live and let live?"

This seemed to make them feel better, a couple of them already smiling in a friendly way at me. "Of course, Pascal," Rose replied. "We'll forgive you if you forgive us."

"We know that you mean well now," Lily added.

Finally. I felt a great deal of stress leave me. Whatever Twilight and Discord had done, it had really fucking worked. Even the fainting flower trio were okay with me now.

"And from now on, if you need to use the back garden again, just feel free," Daisy said casually.

I heard the record-scratch in my head before I felt it. My head whipped from Lily to Daisy so fast I felt a neck muscle strain in protest.

"I mean, I get it now," she continued, still casual and utterly oblivious to my reaction. "You're a human in a strange land. Sometimes you need to, um, take care of things… And sometimes you don't get a choice of where and when."

"Especially yesterday, now that I think about it," Rose mused. My head snapped to her. "Who was it that came by that day… Fluttershy, wasn't it?"

"Yes, I remember. I was watering the garden at the time," Lily reminisced, gaining my immediate attention. "But I lost control and the water went spraying everywhere. The poor dear's sweater got completely soaked!"

"And I saw you, Pascal," Daisy spoke up again. She pointed down the street at a corner two buildings down. "You were staring at her for so long when that happened… I bet you could see every detail…"

My mouth was dry. "Girls… what…"

"A few minutes later, I found you in the garden," she went on. "I was shocked at the time; I couldn't believe anypo- any human could do such a thing. But in retrospect it all makes sense, doesn't it?"

The other two nodded in agreement. I was getting light-headed.

"Yes, we were very much out of line," Rose stated firmly. Looking directly at me like nothing was wrong, she then said, "So how does that sound? Any time you feel those urges again, just come by our place and masturbate wherever you like. Does that sound fair?"

I was seriously about to faint. I took a moment to appreciate the irony.

"That… soundsniceIgottago!"

I bolted.