I lay there staring dumbly at Death, blinking slowly from time to time. Hell, I barely registered it when she waved her hoof in front of my face.

“Great, he’s broken.” she muttered before shrugging. “Only one thing for it then.” She shoved me off the edge onto the floor.

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself,” she said as she stepped off the mattress.

I grumbled under my breath as I got to my hooves. “You could’ve just knocked or said hi like a normal pony instead of appearing in my bed, you know.”

She shot me a grin. “Eh, I could have, but it’d have been less fun.”

I sighed and shook my head. It was about this time I noticed that she didn’t have her scythe or robes on. Instead she stood before me; a light blue mare with a silver and white streaked mane and tail. Even more confusing, she had a cutie mark. Of a flower. I don’t know what kind; I’m no botanist. But I would’ve expected a skull or something, not a flower.

She did a slow little twirl before me, laughing. “See something you like?”

Busted...

I rolled my eyes. “No.”

“Awww.” She stopped, folding her forelegs over her chest and pouted. “Fine, be like that. Ruin my fun.”

“You do realize that won’t work on me right?” She had nothing on Morning Breeze. “Besides, I’m quite tired and as intrigued as I am, I do want to get to sleep some time tonight. So what do you want?”

“Alright, alright,” she relented. Suddenly her robes faded into existence on her body and her scythe popped into her hoof. “Hello! I’m Orchid, your very own personnel reaper, and being your reaper, only you can see me, hear me, or even feel me. And to top it off, I’m stuck here on this plane with you until we can find a way to make you dead!” she said cheerfully.

Well that’s certainly blunt. And disturbing.

One thing stood out the most however. “So let me get this straight. I’m the only pony that can interact with you in any way?”

She deadpanned at me. “....yes. As I just explained.”

“So what have you been doing for the past six years if that’s the case?”

“Oh. Umm,” She scratched at her fetlock nervously. “Spying on you and plotting.”

I blinked. I really didn’t know how to respond to both her rapid changes in emotion and that my privacy felt incredibly invaded.

She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “That was only for the first year or so. Ummm. Ah, well, I also I took a little trip away from you for awhile!”

“And how was that?” I said slowly, still processing.

“Eh found some living relatives.”

I felt my grasp of the situation slipping and raised an eyebrow.

Orchid let out a deep sigh. “Okay. Where to start? Uh, so once I was alive like you...actually you’re a bad example. Anyway, I died a while back, leaving behind my parents and brother. They’ve since passed too, but I went to go check on how my great-nephews and nieces to see how they turned out. Some good; some...less good.”

“So if you were looking over them, why are you here now?”

“....I got bored...and lonely.”

I cocked the other eyebrow.

“What?! You’re the only pony that registers I exist and I’m stuck here! You have no idea how nice it is to have a conversation with somepony for once!” She peered at me. “Also why do you cock your eyebrows so much? I’ve noticed you do that a lot. Is that your default response to stuff?”

I swear it’s like I’m talking to a filly sometimes. She’s all over the place.

“I question many things. You, in this instance.”

“Rude.” She threw her scythe through the wall and her robes vanished. “Since I’m not able to do much reaping in the foreseeable future, I won’t need those.” She leaned into a deep stretch, popping her back. Which seemed weird to me seeing as she was a spirit. Of sorts I guess. Regardless, I couldn’t imagine she had any actual backbones to pop.

“Feels good to get out of those. So drab and serious.”

I walked over to the wall where the scythe went though, rubbing a hoof over it. “So where did they go?”

“Oh, I just summon them whenever I feel like it.” She waved a dismissive hoof.

I stared at her forehead, looking for a horn under her mane, but didn’t see one.

“Hey, my eyes are down here!” She said grabbing my muzzle and forcing me to look into her eyes. “Reaper, remember? I don’t need unicorn magic for that.” She then began to float towards the ceiling. “Nor do I need wings to fly...or float actually. Same difference.” She said before landing on my head, which was strange feeling. I could feel her weight, but not at the same time.

Regardless, I didn’t much care for it. “Care to get off?”

She leaned down so her face was in mine, albeit upside down. “You’ll have to take me to dinner first. I’m not that kind of mare.”

Two can play that game. “Well, you’ve already snuck into bed with me once. Just thought I’d ask this time.”

She sputtered a little before grinning and hopping down. “You’re fun. That’s good. I’d hate to hate to be stuck with poor company.”

“I’m glad you approve.” I yawned. “Look, I get the feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, so if you don’t mind, I need some sleep.” I crawled back in bed and closed my eyes.

Not soon after closing them, I felt her not-weight climb into bed and lay down next to me. Cracking an eye, I saw her staring at me.

“You’re really creepy you know.”

“Well, I don’t actually sleep like you do.”

“Go find a book or something and read then.”

“Can’t. My hoof would phase right through it,” she said with a sheepish grin.

I closed my eyelid, giving up for the night trying to talk to this crazy mare. Finding her something to occupy her time at night could be tomorrow’s problem. “Whatever suits you then. I’m going to sleep though. Good night Orchid.”

“Good night Waxing.”

The next day came far too quickly for my liking. Granted it was a little after noon, but I felt like I could use a few more hours sleep. Stirring, I flopped out of bed onto my hooves and headed for the washroom to use the chamberpot and toss it out afterwards. That done, I tossed a few buckets of lukewarm water into the washtub. Sure I could heat them up on the stove, but I had things I needed to get done before night came around and ponies started closing up shop. That was one of the big downsides to being nocturnal in a diurnal city. You had to take care most things early in the morning or in the afternoon.

I lowered myself in the water, applying this ‘soap’ that Celestia had received as a gift from a local artisan named Suds. I argued with her, saying I was used to using just water and was good enough, but she insisted that I try it, telling me that I’d smell better. So humoring the Princess’s wishes, I scrubbed myself down and rinsed before getting out and shaking dry. I gave myself a tentative sniff.

Celestia was right. I did smell better. But I wasn’t sure I liked smelling like lavender though. Breeze would probably like it, so I put it on my list to go find this ‘Suds’ and buy more. Also to see if I couldn’t invest some bits into their business, in hopes they could come up with some more...stallion-friendly scents.

I looked in the mirror, cleaning my teeth using a small twig I kept nearby for the purpose of removing any small bits of food stuck in them. One of the strange things I noticed ever since Nightmare Moon ‘cursed’ me, was that my body seemed to regenerate itself slowly over time. Sure I didn’t heal as rapidly as the alicorns, but eventually missing teeth regrew, and cavities disappeared. Even prominent scars I’d had for years slowly faded away. Well, with one exception. Reflexively, I rubbed the spot where Nightmare Moon had skewered my chest when she imparted her final gift.

Satisfied with my ‘morning’ hygiene, I walked down the stairs to find Orchid sitting in a chair watching the rest of Canterlot through the window.

“About time you got up,” she said looking over her shoulder. “Breeze and ‘Uncle’ Oak came over this morning before she went to school. She tried to wake up up, but you were pretty out of it.”

“Mmmm.” I hummed as I made my way to the stove to find the stove-top percolator ready and waiting to brew.

“And your friend set that up for you. I’d have started it for you but,” she passed a hoof through the table before resting it on its surface and leaning on it.

“You make no sense.” I said, staring.

She laughed as she bodily fell through the surface. “Well, to be honest, I tend to just float on things in a way that makes it appear like it’s supporting me.” She rose in the air and began ‘walking’ on nothing.

“You, officially, are going to give me headache.” I turned back to my coffee to save my sanity. “Why even bother pretending that things are solid if you can just go through anything, then?”

“There are a few exceptions, but not many.” That stopped her for a second and she came to rest on the floor. “And I don’t know. Feels natural.” She shrugged. “Blame it on old habits I guess.”

The coffee, finally hot and ready, I poured myself a cup. “Remember when we met way back when? With me trapped under the pillar?”

She nodded.

“I don’t recall you being so...silly? Immature? I don’t know.” I said shaking my head. “You were much more serious back then.”

“Yes, well...call it bedside manner or the fact that it’s been six years since I’ve had any kind of company.” She found the floor at her hooves very interesting all of a sudden and spoke in a quiet voice. “I also think I went a little crazy for a bit having nopony to talk to before I came back. I’m not really sure. Those memories are kind of fuzzy.”

“You could’ve come back and spoke to me sooner.” I pointed out.

“I know!” She snorted. “But at first I was really angry at you. I was supposed to come over, retrieve your soul, and pop back. Sounds easy, right?”

I shrugged. I had no experience with that so I had no idea. Sounded simple enough though.

“Well, all of sudden you’re immortal, I can’t return, and all the friends and family I know are on the other side where I can’t reach them until I get you over there too!” She huffed, taking deep calming breaths. “I realize now that it isn’t your fault and you didn’t ask for this, but at the time it helped to have somepony to blame. I mean I’d just watch you sometimes, hoping that you’d get struck by lightning or something and you’d just drop dead...but then when I see you take care of Breeze and play with her, or do other things like today with that family, bring them together...it’s hard to stay too mad at you.” She deflated.

I couldn’t help but feel for her situation a bit. I couldn’t imagine what the last six years had been like for her. Whereas I had Breeze, Iron Oak, and Celestia to help me through, she...she had nopony.

I walked over and draped a wing over her back, pulling her into wing hug similar to all the ones Celestia had given me. “Well, I can’t promise I’ll always talk to you when out in public, lest others think I’m crazy, but you’ve got me now.” It was a little strange hugging her. She felt as solid as anypony else, like I could put my weight on her and she’d support it. At the same time though, I knew to anypony else watching, she wasn’t there and it’d look like I was hugging the air.

“Well, thanks. I think.” she laughed. “So enough sap. What’s on the agenda today?”

I let her go and took a seat at the table. “I need to get my weapons and armor out of my closet and double check that it is in good shape since I last put them away. Beyond that, buy some supplies for the trip and swing by some businesses. Most importantly though,” I took a swig of coffee. “There’s a pony I need to go have a few words with.”

“Has anypony ever told you that you have a tendency to be overly dramatic about things?” she asked, propping her head on her hooves.

I sighed and drank my coffee.

Orchid was knelt down to be eye level with the ground. “Even the grass is the same height! Like every single blade of it! That’s just not natural!” She stomped back over to me. “I’m all for cultivating plants and keeping them organized, but this is too far! They have to be allowed to grow out freely!”

Orchid had been quite emphatic about explaining how the ways the plant life disturbed her earth pony sensibilities as I walked up the gravel path. From the shrubs that lined the path, which were all trimmed to the same height and size, looking absolutely identical to the next, to the manicured lawn. She argued this place was off.

We stood before an austere door of the prim manor on the western edge of the city. Lifting the manticore head-shaped knocker, I let it fall, announcing my arrival.

Shortly the door cracked open, revealing a unicorn butler, dressed in a sharp tie and jacket. “Can I help you sir?” he asked, in the clipped tone that some of the nobles of Canterlot had taken to using.

“Yes. I’m here to see master of this house.”

He peered down his nose at me. I saw a booger. “Do you have an appointment?”

“‘fraid not, but I come in regards to his daughter.”

He stared at me for a second. “I see. A moment sir.” The butler abruptly shut the door. Orchid snorted and just walked through the door following him.

It wasn’t long before the door opened again to reveal the butler, except now Orchid was sitting on his back, giving him the stink-eye.

The butler cleared his throat. “I’m afraid Lord Hail isn’t home and might be out attending business-”

“He’s home.” Orchid spoke over him.

“-so if you don’t mind.”

The butler went to slam the door again, only to find my hoof holding it open. “Go tell your master that Night Warden Crescent wants to see him, and that I’m not leaving until I do.”

The butler gave me a troubled look. “Sir, I already said he isn’t here.”

“And you’re a terrible liar.” Truly though, he wasn’t. “So you go back and tell him that I expect an audience with him. Now.”

The unicorn opened his mouth to object, but ended up sighing. “Very well sir. Please step inside while I go inform him.”

“Thank you.” I said as I came in. Orchid hopped off his back and stayed with me this time.

“I don’t like him.” she groused.

“The butler is only doing his job.” I whispered.

“No! Not him!” she paused. “Okay him too, but Lord Hail. Not only does he stifle his plants, but said,” her voice dropped to imitate him. “‘Send the filthy batpony freak away. Tell him I’m not here or something.’”

Oh really?

The butler came back around the corner. “Sir, he is expecting you in his study. Follow me if you will.”

I nodded and proceeded forward. I really couldn’t fault the butler, despite trying to give me the runaround. After all, he was only the messenger. Lord Hail on the other hoof was running through my good graces.

The butler led me to a large room lined with shelves filled with books and curios, and left. A large desk at the back of the room with the stallion I wanted to see, looking at me expectantly. Ignoring him for a moment, I glanced among his belongings. Most curious among them, I saw a display claiming to hold the actual helmet of Commander Hurricane, which I paused to inspect. Supposedly according to the family tree next to the display, the members of this house were direct descendants of the legendary pegasus. Many pegasi families liked to claim this though which either meant they were liars or Commander Hurricane was quite prolific in his lifetime.

“So Night Warden,” Hail Showers said, as if my title left a foul taste in his mouth. “What brings you to see me?”

I stopped studying the helmet and turned to the pegasus as he rounded his desk. I easily stood a head taller than him, which was a little odd. I mean, I was above average size for a stallion, but not by that much.

“Well you see Mr. Showers-”

“I prefer to be addressed as Lord Hail.” he corrected.

I gave him a sidelong glance and coughed into my hoof. “I’m sure. Anyway,” I continued causing him to scowl. “I wanted to give you the good news that Ms. Spring Showers has found a new family within the Nocturne herd and that the foal will be well cared for and loved.” I took deep pleasure in watching his scowl grow larger.

“She has no place among your...kind. I demand that you return my daughter to me immediately.”

I brought to my lips and tapped them as if in thought. “See, funny thing that. Last I checked, she isn’t your daughter anymore. Word is you disowned her. And advised her that the best thing to do with her foal would be to-” My tone took a sharp edge. “‘-throw it over the side of Canterlot’.” I glared at him. “So I don’t think I’ll be returning Ms. Showers here at all. Nor will anypony else.”

Hail Showers’ eye began to twitch dangerously. “Now you look here!” He prodded a hoof in my chest and I looked at it. “I am her father! And if I want-”

I grabbed him by his offending hoof, rolled him over my shoulder slamming him down on his back, and pinned him to the ground with my larger frame. Successful in that, I brought the edge of my left wing down on his throat, holding it there cutting his breath short.

“No you listen here.” I growled. “I don’t much care what you call yourself, or what you want to be called, but you no longer have any right to call yourself her father in anyway beyond the fact you sired her.” I pressed down harder on his throat choking him. At the sound of the commotion, the door to the room flew open as his butler came charging through, coming straight at me to knock me off his master. Snorting, I swatted him aside with my right wing, sending him head first into the heavy desk, where he crumpled unconscious. Orchid stared at me like I’d gone insane.

“I also don’t much care for advising a young, expectant, distraught, and confused mother to THROW HER CHILD OFF A CLIFF!” I roared in his face, punctuating each word with a hoof to his muzzle. All my hatred and paternal rage came to the surface. I reached down and plucked a hoofful of his primary flight feathers from one of his wings, causing him to give a gurgled yelp. “How about we take a little journey outside where I throw you over the edge of Canterlot? It’s right out that window, right!? Does that sound fun? Huh!? I mean, you aren’t completely helpless! Not like a foal would be because I left you with at least one good wing, right!?” My eyes narrowed and I smiled. “In fact, you know what? That sounds like a really good idea. Let’s go do that right now!”

Hail Showers thrashed and screamed, latching onto anything he could to slow me down as I drug him along by the back of his neck. “NO! CELESTIA NO!” he panicked as I reached the door. “I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! DO ANYTHING! PLEASE!”

I paused, slamming him up against one of the shelves by his throat; his hind legs kicking to find the floor, but never reaching it. “Anything?”

He nodded frantically.

“Then you will never reach out to Spring Showers or darken her doorway. You will not enter her life or her childrens’ in any way, shape, or form. And should she, for some reason, come to find you, you find somewhere else to be. Because if I catch wind otherwise,” I leaned in close, my fangs a hair’s breadth from his nose. “You’d best learn to never sleep at night because we ‘filthy batpony freaks’ look after our own. That’s what you call us, right?”

His eyes gleamed in fear as I threw his words back at him. “H-how?” he croaked.

I gave him a fang-filled grin and slammed a hoof in his gut as I let go. He crumpled up on the floor in a ball choking on air. “Nocte vult.” I spat before I turned on a hoof and left, Orchid following me.

Maybe Fang is right. The old rallying cry does feel really good to say.

I was out the front door halfway and down the gravel path before Orchid spoke up.

“Did you really have to do that?” she asked. Unlike her previous happy, if random, demeanor, she seemed truly bothered.

I kept walking out the gate as I mulled her question over. She stepped in front of me, stopping me gently.

“Tell me. Was that the right thing to do what you did in there?”

I looked around, and seeing no other ponies around I sat down. “You ask two very different questions.”

Her eyes narrowed, disbelieving.

“First you asked if I had to do that, and then if it was right. Those are very different questions with two different answers.”

“Well? What are the answers then?”

I sighed. “‘Was it necessary?’ Honestly? Yes. I needed to send a direct message that his daughter is beyond his grasp. But, ‘was what I did right?’” I stared at her, trying to play out how I felt about it. “Yes. No. Both. Neither.”

She slapped me. “What kind of horseshit answer is that!? You could have just told him so instead of roughing him up!”

I rubbed a hoof against my cheek and worked my jaw. Damn she hits hard. “It isn’t horseshit.” I raised my hoof to stop her from slapping me again. “He isn’t a good or innocent pony Orchid. He disowned his own flesh and blood because he disapproved of who she loved, solely based on the fact that she was in love with a thestral. And you heard what I said in there right?” I pointed back at the manor. “He told his daughter that the best thing she could do for herself, after he already disowned her, was to kill her own foal! What kind of good, decent pony does that!? Especially after she found out her mate just died!?” I stared at her incredulous.

“So yes, there is some justice in what I did! Did I obtain it the just way?” I looked away from her, feeling a little ashamed but also vindicated. I took a deep breath, calming down a hair. “Maybe not. But you have to understand, I’ve done many questionable things in my life Orchid and I hold countless doubts if I made the right choices. Today will likely be one of them. To me, the ends justify the means to certain limit. And trying to find that limit isn’t so easy to do every time.”

Orchid rubbed the bridge of her snout with a hoof. “But I’ve seen you be better than that. So much better. The way you act around your daughter? It’s like you could do no wrong! And then you turn around and do something like this!?” She sighed. “Look. I can’t say I would’ve done that. I guess I understand what you are saying but it felt wrong watching you do that to him.” She sighed, having vented. “One last question: would you have actually thrown him over?”

“Easily.” I answered automatically, flinching as she looked ready to hit me again. “I don’t make threats I won’t back up. Would I have let him hit the ground though? No. In the end, no foals were killed, so neither should he. Get a taste of his own medicine sure.”

She eyed me strangely. “You have a twisted sense of fair.”

“You offering to be my conscious and give me a better one?” I challenged her.

She nodded seriously. “If I need to be, then yes.”

“Hmmph.” I stood up and started walking. “Now come on, I still need to do a few things before shops close up for the night and we’ve spent too much time here as it is.”

“I also think you need to talk to somepony about your anger too,” she said, trotting alongside me. “This is twice in less than a whole day I’ve seen you threaten two separate ponies.”

I glanced at her. “You’re my reaper, not my wife. So don’t start nagging me now.”

“I’m just saying, that’s not normal!”

I couldn’t deny she had a point. In the time since moving to Canterlot, I hadn’t behaved quite like this. Sure every once in awhile I’d have to get ugly, but never back to back. Then again, I hadn’t had somepony insult the two closest mares in my life, or deal a vile, specist father so close together either.

“I’ll...take it under advisement. Okay?”

She snorted. “Okay. But you concern me.”

I chuckled as we returned to town.

Author's Notes:

The entire time writing this, I had one reoccurring thought: "Dear God, what are the readers going to think?"

So leave your thoughts down below!