I ducked as a wing flew over my ears, whistling as it passed. I jabbed at the joint where the offending limb connected to Penumbra’s back, crumpling it. She hissed in pain as it hung limp at her side. Pressing my advantage, I stepped under her guard and snapped my head up, ramming her jaw with a sharp crack. Dazed, she fell to her butt. I lunged at her, wrapping my forelegs around her throat and twisted, pulling her to the ground. Wrapping my hindlegs around her barrel, I kept her pinned and slowly began to squeeze. She wobbled and wriggled, seeking any way to escape. Her hooves swiped at my arms and face futilely, hoping to score a lucky strike. Unable to find freedom or breath, she finally tapped my forelegs and I released her.

I pushed Penumbra off me, where she panted on the ground. “I thought he weren’t looking to hurt each other,” she grumbled as she worked her jaw.

I shrugged, wincing as my shoulder tweaked from an armbar she put me in earlier. “Doesn’t mean we’re going easy either.” I looked to the others, barely catching Antumbra slip Fang a few bits. Judging from the smug grin on Fang’s face, I assume he won whatever wager they had placed. Each of the thestrals had earned their own set of small injuries. Anymore practice and I feared somepony might actually get hurt. “Alright, I think that’s enough for today. Good job.” There was a smattering of sighs and grumbles; some relieved, some eager for a rematch. I ignored them. “Go on and tend to yourselves and rest up. Tomorrow we crossover into the empire.”

They all walked off, generally towards the firepit to no doubt relax. Personally, I wanted a few minutes to myself. I reached down and gathered a small clump of snow in my hooves and placed it against my shoulder. The snowball numbed the pain ever so slightly. I held my own okay during each fight, but I had to wonder if age hadn’t caught up with me somehow. Sure, my body would forever be thirty-three --Nightmare Moon’s magic saw to that-- but it didn’t entirely fix thirty-three years of hard living overnight. Fixing teeth and scars was apparently easier to fix than the tolls of service to the Crown. My rear left knee still sometimes ached, and my right wing was a little slower to extend than my left. Sometimes when it rained, I could feel in my spine, just above my dock, and my hearing in my left ear didn’t hear quite as well as the right. Maybe with time, all those would go away, but for now, they were ever present reminders that I wasn’t as young as I once was.

That said, I couldn’t help but remember what an old, grizzled sergeant had told me when I first started. He had looked me straight in the eye and said, “Son, a young warrior is fearsome because of their youth. They are quick, and spry. They heal faster and bounce back even quicker. But for all their strength, there is a reason an old warrior should strike terror down to your very core, should you ever find yourself against one. They may seem slower. They may seem more feeble. But for all they appear, remember one thing: out of all the young warriors, they lived.”

I had to wonder if he told that story to all the new recruits so that we’d be more scared to face him on the training grounds, or to make himself feel more secure about his age. I understood that experience was worth its weight in gold, especially in a fight, but I also understood that old bones broke easier and all the experience in the world could change that.

I sighed as I returned from my thoughts and stared out across the land. There wasn’t much that stood out in any sort of detail in the moonlight, but it was still a breathtaking sight to watch the river back to Canterlot sparkle softly as it wound its way through the dark woods and plains. From my vantage point on the southern side of the Crystal Mountains, it felt like I could see straight across the whole of Equestria. From one horizon to the other. I counted myself lucky that Sledge had found this landing on the side of the mountain. It was large enough for us to camp on and, as we had done, spar without fear of falling over the side.

When I brought up the idea of sparring, the others agreed that it was probably a good idea. Apparently I hadn’t been the only one who was feeling the benefits of peace. While it was nice to explore other avenues of life, peacetime tended to dull the razor-sharp edge of combative skills. However, due to the lethal nature of our respective weapons, we were stuck practicing hoof-to-hoof on each other. Not that it was bad practice --testing the reflexes and shaking the rust off them was important-- but each of us would have preferred full weapons and armor, if for no other reason than to go all out against each other. I suddenly wished we had spent a couple extra days in Canterlot, where practice weapons made of wood, or at least charmed to lessen the impact of blows, were available.

Some doubts began to creep into my mind about whether my decision to leave from Canterlot so abruptly was wise. Why we didn’t spend some additional time training or making sure we could work together as a team? Of course I had my reasons; I didn’t want Sombra to get too settled in, or that time was of the essence. In the end though, no matter how I rationalized it, there were things I wished we could have done better.

It didn’t matter though. Choices had been made, things had been done, and here we were. The future was the only thing worth worrying about now and the past would just have to deal with it.

“Thinking too hard again?” A gentle voice whispered in my ear, as a hoof, with the same sort of grace, removed my hoof from my shoulder and swept away the remains of my snowball from it. My efforts were replaced a familiar sensation as the miracle hooves massaged the pain and tension away.

“You might say that.” I said. I turned to look at Orchid and smiled. She gave a soft laugh and smiled back.

Truly she was an angel if I’d ever seen one. Due to the close proximity of the others on that flat surface I couldn’t interact with her as openly as I would’ve liked. I wished I could have aired out the doubts and worries that plagued my mind. As it was though, I was thankful for her nonetheless.

I looked back out over the land as she hummed softly in her administrations. It was some old tune, vaguely familiar and foreign at the same time, but still pleasant. I picked out the distant Canterhorn, where Canterlot rested. It was strange to think that I was only two and half days of hard flying away from home. That knowledge sparked a false hope that perhaps I would be back there within a week. I knew it was a foolish hope, but no matter how I tried to squash it, I couldn’t help but want it to be true.

A sharp wind cut through my coat, chilling me in a way that was bitter rather than soothing. I walked over the ring of gear, digging through it until I found my coat and shrugged it on. The wool liner immediately felt warmer, whether by its nature or a heating charm woven into the fabric, I didn’t frankly care. Another gust blew through, convincing me that I could stand to be a touch warmer, so I threw on my cloak as well.

Orchid poked me in my side and giggled. “You look like a giant marshmallow.”

I frowned and glanced at myself. The mottled-white cloak draped all the way to the ground, hiding my legs from view, and the hood was deep enough to hide my face. I felt I looked like a remarkable tall snow bank -- which was the idea to begin with -- more so than a giant marshmallow. But if it made her happy to think of me as a marshmallow, I could live with that.

I snorted and headed over the rest, who were now huddled together in the fire pit. Honestly, it was more pit than fire, as we had dug out a deep hole in the snow, and then built up a snow bank around it to shield us and the flames from the near constant wind. Still didn’t stop the occasional gust from finding its way in, but for the most part, the fire pit was an oasis of heat and reprieve.

It was Sledge who had the foresight to haul wood up here. Frankly though, I shouldn’t had been surprised. Over the last few days, I’d learned that he really liked playing with fire. I also learned how disappointed he could look, especially once I told him that it would be the last one for a while. The risk was just too high that it could get us spotted on our way in. And also for the fact that not many, if any, trees grew in the pervasive permafrost of the frozen north.

I jumped down into the pit, and settled in against the snow bank. Orchid did the same, but leaned against me instead.

“So how is everypony doing tonight?” I asked.

“Still sore.” Fang grumbled.

“Sorry.” Sledge apologized. Again.

“I’m sorry, but body slamming a pony half your size is not holding back.” Fang said.

Sledge grinned at the smaller thestral. “It is when you strong and big like me.”

I held in my laughter, but couldn’t repress the upturn of the corners of my mouth. Sledge had tossed Fang around like a rag doll. That wasn’t to diminish Fang’s skill in a fight, but it showed me just how terrifying Sledge could be.

“Well, maybe take it a little easier on me next time.” Fang cracked his neck and shifted subjects. “Eh, ‘sides that I suppose I’m somewhere between nervous and excited about tomorrow.”

I nodded, understanding completely. Even though Fang and I were experienced fighters, we were facing a new enemy with capabilities that weren’t wholly understood. That was as good a reason as any to be nervous, but the excitement of potential looming battle hung in the air. The thrill of fighting was something that I loved and feared at the same time.

It scared me a little to admit it, but in battle, I felt completely alive. Adrenaline running through my veins. My senses sharp and muted at the same time. Every close call filling me with the fear of death and joy of escaping it one more time. It was a complete overload of my mind and body, leaving no ability to focus on anything other than fighting. I’d even heard other soldiers laugh in the midst of battle. Hell, I was guilty of it myself a few times. It made me feel like a young foal again opening a gift, only the gift could kill. It was terrifying. I loved it. I hated it.

I realized I had been quiet perhaps a little too long. “How about you?” I said and turned the twins.

Antumbra gave a mirthless smile. “I swear the shadows are warmer.”

I cocked my head to the side. “I...don’t follow.”

Penumbra smiled patiently. “What do you understand about shadow travel?”

“Honestly, not much,” I admitted. Luna had only explained the where of it, not the how. “Just that you two can use shadows to teleport to other shadows.” They broke up laughing. “Or something...I’m guessing that’s wrong.”

“Sir, unicorns teleport. We don’t,” Antumbra said.

Penumbra perked up and grinned, eager to explain. “Think of it like the surface of a pond. Let’s say where we are is the top,” Penumbra used her hoof to draw a line in the snow. “We slip under that surface and swim to the place we want to go and rise back up.” Her hoof made the motions of diving and resurfacing. “And much like swimming, we can’t stay on the other side for very long.”

Antumbra chose to jump in here. “For one, there’s no air in the shadow world, at least the kind we breathe, and it’s quite cold.” He put a hoof up to his mouth, like he was sharing a secret that he didn’t want his sister in on...but didn’t bother lowering his voice any. “Between the two of us, I hold the record for staying the longest and that was only four minutes.”

“Four minutes my flank!” Penumbra shoved him. “I had to go in and pull your unconscious ass out!”

“Physically, I was there four minutes, so-” he stuck his tongue out at her and returned his attention to us. Penumbra just rolled her eyes. “Anyway, nopony can survive over there. Back to your original assumption, what you see isn’t teleportation, elsewise we would already be in the empire instead of winging it there.”

“Movement on the other side is just as it is here. Walk or fly, takes the same amount of time,” Penumbra finished.

Sledge raised his hoof. “Can you see or touch things over there?”

“Sort of.” Antumbra explained. “Things over here have their own representations over there. As far as touching goes, it depends on which side of the surface the object is on. It’s like when I was collecting firewood the first night. I can take it with me to either side, but I can’t grab it from over there and move it here and vice versa.”

Fang interjected. “So what happens if you leave something other there?”

“Um, well,” Penumbra squinted her eyes in thought. “I’ve stored a few things in the shadow world, but it isn’t like some sort of magic chest that follows me around. Honestly, it is only good for hiding things since when you come back to this side, nopony else can see or feel them. They stop...existing here I guess?” She deflated a little and slumped down. “I suppose I don’t really have all the answers to how our talent works.”

“Whoever does?” I shrugged. “At least I have a better idea than before, right?”

A light smile graced Penumbra’s lips as she regained some of her previous confidence.

Still her words peaked my curiosity. I glanced over at Orchid, ‘what if’s and ‘I wonder’s turning over each other like water over stones in my head.

I jumped as Sledge let out a massive yawn. Although calling it a yawn was like calling Luna’s banishment a timeout. The sound that emanated from Sledge was more akin to a large beast growling. The four of us --five if you included Orchid-- stared at him, our expressions ranging from disturbed awe to perturbed shock.

Blissfully unaware of the attention he was getting, Sledge just finished it out, smacked his lips a few times, and stood up. “I’m tired. Good night.”

And with that, he took off for bed.

All that could be heard was the crackle of the fire and the whispering howls of the wind for a minute before Fang started cracking up. The dam of silence now broken, we all joined in laughing.

I don’t really know why, since it wasn’t really all that funny. Maybe we just needed to. Perhaps it was nerves or stress. It could have been the long days of silent flying or the depressing weather taking a toll on our humor. In the end though, I don’t think ‘why’ mattered all that much. It just felt good to do, and that was good enough.

Eventually our laughter died and a pleasant cheer hung in the air as we watched the flames cook down to embers. Little else was said, but little else needed to be as we relaxed. It occurred to me that this felt more like a camping trip with an eclectic group of friends than an important mission for Celestia.

Not that all this can’t change tomorrow.

I sighed and pushed the thought away. Some moments need not be tainted by reality.

At long last the fire went out; it's wisps of smoke quickly sucked up and scattered by the mountain winds. I didn’t need to see the horizon to know that dawn was well approaching.

“I think it’s about time I turned in.” I said, discretely nudging Orchid off me. “Sleep well and I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

There was a scattering of the same back towards me as I winged back to my hole in the snow. Earlier when we had arrived, each of us dug a burrow in the snow big enough to spread our sleeping rolls, but tight enough to trap our warmth in.

I crawled into mine on my belly, pulling my pack in behind me to seal the entrance. I shrugged out of my cloak and balled it up to use as a pillow. I was all snug when I felt a familiar presence in the dark, curl up next to my barrel and pull one of my wings over herself like a blanket.

“Comfortable?” I asked out loud. I figured the snow and wind would muffle me enough that the others wouldn’t hear.

“Mmm-hmm.” Orchid hummed and shifted closer.

“Kind of cuddly though, aren’t you?” I asked. I could faintly make out the grin on her face as my eyes adjusted to the darkness.

“Well, we went to bed with each other the first night we met, so I don’t see why we can’t cuddle now,” she said matter-of-factly.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Very funny.” I pulled back my wing and poked her side with it. “But seriously, what’s up? You’ve been rather touchy-feely all day.”

She rolled over so that she could face me. “What? Can’t a mare dole out her affections as she sees fit without question?”

I continued to stare at her.

“Fine,” she huffed, folding her arms in front of her. “Touching you is about as real as I can feel and I like that. And with you ignoring me for the most part around the team, it the one little reminder I can cling to.

“And the other is that I feel cold…” she muttered.

I couldn’t help but crack up a little and she playfully punched my good shoulder.

“It’s not funny! I’m serious!” she whined.

I composed myself as best I could. “Forgive me, but I thought you didn’t feel temperature.”

“I don’t!” She put her hoof over my mouth as I tried to interrupt. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t remember what it feels like, and all this snow reminds me a little too well. And frankly, you're warm. So-” She put on a little pout. “-can I please snuggle you?”

I sighed heavily. My years raising Breeze had granted me immunity to the sad puppy pout, but I couldn’t mount much of an argument to deny her request. Besides, if I denied it, she would probably wait until I fell asleep and do it anyway.

“Fine. You win-”

“Of course I do! Mares are always right!” She patted me on my head. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell the Princess that you’re cuddling mares other than her.” Orchid teased.

“Uh huh.” I kept a straight face, not rising to her bait. “Jokes aside, can I run something serious by you?”

She raised an eyebrow, urging me to continue.

Is that how I look to everypony?

I swept the errant thought away. “I want to see if the twins can see any trace of you in the shadow world.”

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t move a muscle. And yet somehow, despite not moving a hair, I felt her emotions shift violently.

“To what end?” she finally said. Her voice hinting at an undercurrent of danger based on my response.

“They said that things over there stop ‘existing’ over here, and I’m curious if maybe something similar is true for you. Now, I don’t think they can see you directly, or else they’ve done a good job of pretending.”

Orchid slapped me. Hard. I pulled my arms up to deflect or absorb any further blows. “I’m not some damn science experiment for you to play with! I’m not here for you to unravel the secrets of death or any such nonsense! I’m here for one function, to guide you, and only you, to the otherside!”

“Now hold on!” I raised my voice. “Do you realize what it would mean if they could?”

Her hoof raised, but never flew. Her voice came, tight and tense and barely restrained. “You tell me. What do you think it means?”

Now would be the time to fix this Wax. I was starting to wonder how big of a metaphorical hole I had dug myself. I hadn’t known Orchid long, and while her mood seemed a little mercurial, jumping from emotion to emotion, I’d never seen her this angry. Not even the episode outside Hail Shower’s mansion had been like this.

I liked Orchid. I liked how she tried to make me laugh. I liked her company and how we’d become fast friends. I certainly didn’t want to burn this bridge. As much as it would suck for me, I was more afraid of what it would do to her.

“It’d be a starting point to finding a way to make you real!” I blurted.

The silence was deafening.

“What?” She didn’t sound as angry as before, which was good, but she was definitely still annoyed.

“I want to find a way to make you exist to this world. Remember the first night we met? When you said you couldn’t read a book because your hoof would go right through it?” I asked plaintively.

“Is that what this is about!?” She scoffed. “You want to make it so that I can read books!?”

“Yes!” I answered immediately before thinking otherwise. “Well, more than that but, yes.” I reached out a tentative hoof and cupped her cheek. She tensed,but didn’t back away. That was a good sign. “I don’t know how long I’ll be alive, which means I don’t know how long you’re going to be trapped here with me. I also imagine that eventually, somewhere along the way, my company will grow stale and I won’t be enough to starve off the loneliness for you.

“And to make matters even more complicated, I’m not invulnerable Orchid. If I get seriously hurt, as in ‘my head lopped off’ hurt, I don’t know how long it’ll take for Nightmare Moon’s magic to piece me together again. It could be days, it could be centuries! I don’t know!”

I leaned my head forward and touched it to hers.

“So, in case anything like that happens to me, I don’t want you to have to spend that time by yourself. You already told me that six years on your own made you go a little crazy. Tell me. What would another six do? Another ten? How about a hundred?”

I felt her start shaking a little as those words sunk in.

“I’m afraid for you. I’m afraid of what that would do to you. We ponies need to socialize. We need company. And right now, for better or worse, I’m all you have.” I closed my eyes as she leaned against me a little more.

“So yes. I want to find a way to give you a body, or some way of making your presence known. I want for you to be able to communicate with other ponies beyond me. To have a life of your own again that doesn’t solely revolve around me. I’m sorry, if it came out wrong, but that’s all I want.”

I heard a sniffle in the darkness.

“Are you crying?” I asked. Like an idiot.

“YES!” she shouted, caused me to jerk back and fold my ears back. “I don’t know whether to hit you again for being a gigantic ass with the worst way of asking for things! Or to kiss you for possibly being the most considerate gigantic ass I’ve ever known! I’m angry, both at you and with myself, and I’m happy, and-and-and I don’t know exactly what else!” she finished with another sniffle. “So yes, I’m crying. Somehow. I’m trying to process everything and it is either this or hitting things. Probably you.”

I had grown a healthy respect for the strength of her slaps. “In that case I’m good with crying.”

“Good,” she grunted. “Now let me be a second.”

She scooted down somewhere near my hindlegs, and rest her head on her forelegs.

I laid back and waited.

Luna had told me once that there was two things I needed to know about mares when they were upset, especially if they were upset with me. The first was to give them flowers, particularly their favorites if I knew, along with chocolate. Second, to be there for them, and to shut up and listen.

I think she had intended this advice for when I would start courting mares. That never really ended up happening much. Too many mares of the court would flirt and seek my affections for personal, political, or monetary gain. That had been a harsh lesson to learn.

Other times, they were like Shadow Blossom-out looking for a good rut and nothing more. The problem was, despite a night of fun and sex being the only desired outcome, accidental pregnancies happened. Sometimes this worked out well for both ponies and they led happy lives with each other. It didn’t happen enough though for me to take that gamble more than once.

Sure, that one night together with that mare --I couldn’t remember her name-- had been really nice. The things that mare did and let me do, I’d remember for a lifetime. But the next following months fretting that she would return to my doorstep, her abdomen swollen with fruit of my loins…it had been enough for me to decide that risk was too much.

So neither of these two groups offered anything more than heartache and frustration as far as I was concerned. Regardless, I found Luna’s advice invaluable elsewhere. Not that I understood why the process worked. It certainly didn’t fix everything immediately, but it seemed to help. I only hoped it continued to do so considering I’d skipped step one.

“Okay. I think I’m better now,” she said, wiping her nose with a foreleg and rubbing the moisture from her eyes.

I wondered how she cleaned that out of her coat, or if she even needed to. How did hygiene work her position anyways? I shook my head and focused.

“I couldn’t help but notice that in both descriptions of me, you called me a gigantic ass both times.” I pointed out lightly.

She laughed. An actual, genuine laugh. Which, after the storm of anger she just went through, was a very good sign.

She gave my flank a solid poke. “You can’t honestly tell me that you aren’t at the very least a bit of one.”

“I can be a very convincing liar.” I shot her a careless grin.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure. Now, Waxing. Let me be very clear: do not try to expose my existence to anypony else. Please.” She looked at me, her eyes pleading.

I opened my mouth only to find her hoof in it. Step two, dumbass: shut up.

“As far as finding a way for me to manifest or interact with your world, there’s two ways that come readily to mind.”

My ear perked up and my excitement began to build.

“And before you ask, no. I’m not going to tell you. At least, not right now. I think you have enough going on at the moment. Ordinarily, I’d forbid this, but you raised some good points. And you’re right. I don’t know if I could handle another long period of solitude.” I felt her settle on top of me, and her arms wrap around me in a tender hug. “So thank you Wax. I promise you, we’ll tackle my issues later. Just...not right now, okay?”

I nodded.

“Now get some sleep. Tomorrow sounds like it might be a long one for you.” I felt a peck on my cheek and I couldn’t help but smile.

I reached down with a hoof, gently finding her face again and booped her nose. “Goodnight Orchid.”

“Goodnight ass,” she said with mock anger, trying to un-scrunch her face.

A sense of relief and happiness flooded my senses to have things settled between us. Tired, I let that feeling carry me off to sleep.

I dreamed of Breeze, Celestia, Orchid and I having a picnic together in the royal gardens. From somewhere, Iron Oak and Sunflower joined us, while Breeze and Anvil went off to play together. We laughed, and told jokes. We drank wine and watched the foals play among the flowers and bushes.

For a brief moment, all felt right with the world. But only a moment as a shadow fell over the land. I could no longer hear Breeze and Anvil playing. The laughter had stopped. I looked up to see Sombra, a giant, looming over head eclipsing the sun. My family and friends were gone. I was alone in my armor, sitting in a field filled with snow and dead bodies. He charged at me, and I at him. Just as we clashed, he spoke.

His voice crawled over my skin, grating against my every nerve, standing my hair on end. His message was short, but long enough.

“Come and find me.”

I woke with a start, my head slamming into the snow above my head. A moment's panic passed as I remembered where I was. I pulled my head back and took a deep breath to steady my nerves.

“Everything okay?” Orchid asked over her shoulder. Somehow during my sleep she had shifted so that we were back to back.

“Yeah. Just a nightmare is all.” I took another deep breath to calm myself. “It started off as a pretty good dream though.”

“Mmmm. Well, go back to sleep. You still have a few more hours to rest before evening comes.”

I settled back into my roll and closed my eyes.

My ears twitched. Ever so faintly, like a whisper carried on the wind, “I’m waiting.”

My eyes shot open as a chill ran down my spine. “Orchid?”

“Yes?” she replied shakily.

“Did you hear that?”

“‘I’m waiting’?”

“Yeah,” I said numbly.

“Then yes. I did.”

I rolled over and pulled her close. I couldn’t stop shaking. I didn’t know if Sombra knew our location and troops were on their way. I didn’t know how he got into my dreams or whispered in my ears. All I did know was that I might have dangerously underestimated my enemy.

I didn’t get back to sleep the rest of the night.

Author's Notes:

This has been through more drafts than I care to tell, but here it is! All advice, criticism, and questions are welcome in the comments.