I woke up sometime during the night, but I figured it had to be almost morning from how low the moon was. Pretty odd you could actually tell the time based on the moon here. Physics is screwed up here, I swear. I wondered why I awoke when I deadpanned at the answer. Mr. Sleeptalker wouldn’t shut up in his dreams again. Wait… what did he just say?

“Heather… stay outta the kitchen… I’m trying to make something to surprise you…” The rest was drowned out by quiet snoring.

...Why was I blushing? I shook whatever early morning pervertedness was sneaking into my head and got out of bed. I never was able to get back to sleep after being woken up. Most of the time it was worth it, but right now was not one of them. There really wasn’t a whole lot to do in the room, besides read. Not a whole lot of light to do so, though. Moonlight makes for terrible reading.

Hmm… what to do, what to do? I tapped my chin a few times before the most obvious answer came. “Raid the kitchen!” I whispered to myself as I shot my wing into the air. This is a castle so kitchen had to be huge. Onward, self! To waffles and other breakfast essentials! I was out the room and into the night just like that.

        I awoke to the sound of loud laughter, stomping, and someone with a french accent. I already know my day is going to be weird.

        “Stay away from my muffins! They’re not for you!”

I blinked slowly and sat up, highly confused as to what I was hearing, “...Why is Heather saying things like that?”

“Ugh, what now?” Twilight moaned, her wings flipping off the covers onto the floor. “Stupid wings,” she said with no enthusiasm.

“At least your wings look nice.” I grumbled, flicking my weird looking wings as I got out of bed, went to the bathroom that was thankfully attached to the room, and came back out, looking to the open door.

“Oh don’t tell me one of you lunatics is loose in the castle,” Twilight groaned, running both hooves down her muzzle.

        “I’m no lunatic. Heather is a lunatic. You’ve got to get these things right.” I let out a snort and floated down the hall towards where Heather’s voice was coming from.

        “Keep your meat away from my buns, you weirdo!” Heather shouted.

        “...Should I be blushing or should I be laughing? I don’t know anymore.” I muttered as I slowly got closer. “What’s your opinion on this, Twilight?” I asked as I glanced behind me.

        “I’m going back to bed, that’s my opinion,” she said, teleporting the blanket back onto her and lying down on her pillow. “Go deal with your wacky marefriend, I’m too tired to put up with it right now,” she yawned before snuggling up.

        “She’s not my girlfriend.” I huffed, a small blush forming on my face before stopping in front of the door I kept hearing her from.

        “Stay away from my milkshakes!”

        “I don’t want them! I’ll get my own if I want!”

        “Mine are better no matter what!”

        “Ok I’m too curious for my own good…” I said mostly to myself as I opened the door to where this madness was originating. What I saw was a mix of unbelievability and amazing comedy. Have you ever seen a three foot tall unicorn chasing a seven foot tall bird-monster-thing? Because it’s a sight to see, I can tell you! Heather was racing all around the kitchen, trying her hardest to make a mighty big breakfast, while the pony, whom I assumed was the kitchen’s head chef, was chasing her with a broom, a rolling pin, and a tennis racket (why that’s in a kitchen I had no idea) in her magic. Unfortunate for Heather, yet hilariously for me, it seemed the pony was winning.

        “Stop hitting me!”

        “Not until you get out of my kitchen you rat with wings!”

        “I am not a rat!”

        “Like I give a darn!”

        “I’m sorry to uh, interfere in this rather comedic situation, but could you tell me what in the world is going on here?” I asked as I rubbed my head, my confusion and amusement showing clearly.

        “I’m trying to eat, she’s trying to eat me!”

        “I am not! I want your big butt out of my kitchen!”

        “Look who’s talking fat flank!”

        “That’s it! You’re going on the griffon ambassador’s menu!”

        “Eep! I just want breakfast for hell's sake!!”

        “I’d rather you not try and put my friend on the menu. There’d be some issues with that. Aside from that little tidbit, what I can gather from this is that Heather was trying to cook, wasn’t she?” I sighed and went further into the room, putting a claw on the chef’s shoulder.

        The unicorn glared at me for a moment, a spatula now in her magic. “Take your claw off me before you’re on the menu.”

        I promptly removed my claw from her shoulder. Chefs are people, or ponies, to fear when angered. “Uhm… Could you tell me why you have a problem with Heather trying to cook in here?”

        “Celestia herself isn’t allowed to cook in MY kitchen!”

        “Did somepony say my name?” A rather amused princess walked into the kitchen less than a second after the chef said that.

        “...That was fast.” I blinked and looked at Princess Celestia rather curiously.

        “Trying to cook; evil chef; HUNGRY!” Heather wailed, still running around with the magicked utensils following her.

        “Well you don’t interfere in the chef’s kitchen. Especially this chef. Isn’t that right Golden Radish?” Princess Celestia has a mischievous grin on her face as she said this.

        “Who said you could be in here?” Radish glared at Celestia. “Don’t you think I’ve forgotten the last time you snuck into my kitchen. We’re still finding burnt marks and frosting!”

        The princess’ reaction rather surprised me considering she spluttered slightly and puffed out a cheek.

        “You’re not going to let Heather keep the food she made, are you Miss Radish?” I smiled slightly and shook my head, floating over and rubbing Heather’s back.

        Radish took one look at the prepared food. She glared hard at both us. “You may take your food, but if I see either of you flying beasts in my kitchen again, you’ll be meeting the business end of my knife!” She slammed a giant butcher knife into a cutting board next to her.

        “Yes ma’am! Heather, let’s get out of here now. I would rather not anger her more than we already have.” I said, shivering slightly as I backed towards the door, grabbing the plate of food with a progressively strengthening Telekinesis, which honestly didn’t act as much like the move did in the games, it seemed more unicorns and their ‘magic’ which I still hesitate to accept.

        “Oh, by the way Radish, I’ll have my usual for breakfast.” Princess Celestia said as she turned to leave the same way she came in, which happened to be the same direction as us.

        “You’ll eat whatever I feel like making and like it!” We heard the chef shout out as we left.

        “Of course, of course.” The princess chuckled and left the kitchen to the chef from hell.

        “So Heather, what do you have to say for yourself?”

        “Me?! What did I do?! I was just hungry! Not my fault miss sunbutt has a crazy pony running the kitchen!” Heather defended.

        “I’m right here you know.” Princess Celestia said with an amused tone. “And the reason I have Golden running the kitchen is because she’s one of the best at what she does, and she can deal with certain ambassadors.”

        “We come from a constitutional republic, monarchies are ridiculed. No offense.”

        “Well technically it’s a diarchy, but it can’t even be considered that with the other two alicorns we have… I would’ve ‘retired’ from this job years ago if my little ponies were able to take care of themselves with another type of government.” The princess sighed before smiling again, “And no offense taken. With that mouth of yours you’d probably get along with the Griffon ambassador rather well.”

        “Alright, so, let me get this figured out right now. I’ve heard of about three different intelligent species on this planet so far, ponies, griffons, and diamond dogs. Oh and dragons, almost forgot about them. How many others are there?” I asked, curiously looking to the princess who had a thoughtful expression on her face.

        “Well, there are a few we have yet to meet because nobody has fully explored this world yet. Aside from the ones you listed there are donkeys, zebras, minotaurs, changelings, and thestrals are the only others off the top of my head. Though thestrals could mainly be considered a subspecies of the pegasus.” Princess Celestia rubbed her chin with her intricately carved golden… shoe thing. I don’t really want to call it a horseshoe because it’s not nailed on or anything.

        “That is… Rather impressive actually.” I glanced over at Heather only to see her eating from the plate I was carrying.

        “Mm, waffles. Cartoon Network may ruin one of my favorite shows, but they can never ruin one of my favorite foods.” She looked at both of us staring with smiles. “Shut up! I’m hungry! Dragon-dork here kept me up with his sleep talking. And he’s not even supposed to learn that technique.”

        “Wait… I was talking in my sleep again? I thought that was cured years ago!”

        “Obviously not. You were dreaming of cooking and it got me hungry.”

        “I didn’t say anything odd did I?”

        Heather paused for a moment, a bit of pink on her cheeks. “N-no. Not that I remember. Let’s just move on, this isn’t a comfortable eating position. I feel like a freakin’ seagull.”

        “Would you care to come to the mess hall here? It has seats, so compared to standing it’s better.” Princess Celestia stated with an obvious hint of amusement.

        “Yeah, I like her idea.” I nodded in response to the princess, completely missing Heather’s small blush.

        “Sounds nice,” the Lugia nodded.

        “It’s just this way.” The princess had a smile on her face as she entered the door, greeting a few of the guards that seemed to be loitering around after their breakfast, earning a bow in response or a similar action.

        “I don’t quite know if I’ve asked this yet, but why do the guards all look alike?” I asked as I looked at the guards in confusion.

        “Oh, their helmets are enchanted to change their appearance so they can remain ambiguous when it comes to certain situations.” Princess Celestia said as she took a seat at table slightly larger than the other tables.

“Stealthy, I like it,” Heather nodded, setting down her plate to eat better. “Mmm, yummy.”

        “Glad you like it. It’s however only for the Day guard because the Night guard already looks alike… Thestrals generally don’t have that much of a difference in how they look.” Princess Celestia let out an amused chuckle. “I don’t quite understand how my sister can tell them apart so easily.”

        “Why don’t you ask her?” I replied as I tried and failed to sit down properly due to, well, floating. Don’t quite know how I managed to turn that off for sleeping. To think I had such a hard time with learning how to do it in the first place!

        “It just seemed quite… Rude of me to ask that I suppose.” Princess Celestia sighed as a plate of what looked like waffles with chocolate chips in it was brought to her, “Thank you, Radish.”

        “Just don’t make a mess this time. Don’t need the cleaning staff griping about cleaning chocolate off the walls again.” With that, the chef made her leave.

        “...Guess I won’t be getting any breakfast from her.” I groaned as I snagged something from Heather’s plate.

        “Give her time, she’ll come around.” Princess Celestia chuckled.

        “Next time ask,” Heather growled at me. Her growling far more terrifying in this form, especially with those teeth!

        “...Don’t hurt me please?” I shrank down and got closer to the ground in response to her anger.

        “Just ask next time. I risked my life to make this grub.” She huffed, going back to eating.

        “Yes Ma’am.”

        “So… The real reason I wanted you two to come and meet me here was some odd findings that have been reported since you two have appeared on our world.” Princess Celestia said, moving her partially finished breakfast to the side. “You wouldn’t know anything about this, would you?”

        “I certainly don’t… Heather, what about you?” I asked as I turned in confusion to my friend.

        “Odd findings? Like what?” Heather asked, her mouth completely full of food.

        “Well, there have been a few bushes with unknown berries growing on them and some saplings that are apparently nearly impossible to get rid of without a unicorn.” Princess Celestia said as she speared part of her pancake with her fork.

        “Well that’s oddly familiar in a way…” I muttered, rubbing my chin or what would equate to a chin.

        “Berries? What do they look like?”

        “There are a few blue ones that look like strawberries, some larger blue berries that look faintly like blueberries, and a single report of black berries with something that looks like a white hook on it.” Princess Celestia said, reading off from a scroll she seemed to have pulled from nowhere.

        Heather looked at me with slightly wider eyes than normal. “Please tell me those sound familiar to you too.”

        “Way too familiar. Rawst berries, Oran berries, and Enigma berries.” I frowned at the realization of this.

        “So you know what they are?” Princess Celestia raised a brow at our little conversation.

        My friend nodded. “Yes, they come from the same world as these forms of ours. They are referred to simply as ‘berries’. Each one has differing effects on Pokémon, all curative in nature.”

        “Do you think they might have any effects on ponies or other species?” The princess slid the scroll to the side and looked around the room for a moment before looking back at us.

        Heather shook her head. “They can have a terrible taste for some, ranging from extremely spicy to extremely bitter, but they are meant to be healers. If anything, you might have a chance to develop new medicines from this fruits.”

        “I see… DISCORD!” Princess Celestia was calm for a moment before her rather loud outburst which made me rub my ears due to the proximity.

        The mismatched creature popped into existence near us, oddly enough leaving the smell of root beer. “You called for me, Tia?”

        “Would you happen to have anything to do with these berries that have been appearing?” She threw the scroll to Discord who looked it over with an amused smile which slowly faded to just a curious expression.

        “No. There would’ve been some random not-so-positive effect to them if I had anything to do with them. I am however curious as to where they’re coming from and how it’s getting here…” The draconequus stroked his weird chin beard.

        “It seems like they’re familiar to you…?”

        “Please Discord Lancie, if you know anything, do share.” This actor-worship is creepy stuff. Wait, are her eyes literally stars right now?! How is that possible?!

        “Heh. You amuse me. Well it’s a TV show in a particular place that I’m not at liberty to discuss right now.” Discord just kept a grin on his face the whole time he talked.

        “You should tell us before Heather crushes you with a hug.” I snorted lowly and watched Heather carefully

        “Not quite yet. It’s too early for you two to know that.” Discord said as he turned and headed towards the kitchen.

        Celestia just dragged a hoof down her muzzle.

        “I accept the word of the great and powerful Lancie!”

        “Stop bowing!”

        “All hail and praise his name!”

        Princess Celestia’s head just dropped to the table where she groaned, “Discord, stop procuring followers!”

        “Never~” The draconequus chuckled before walking into the kitchen. I wonder how long it would be before he regrets it.

        “Heather I swear! Stop bowing to him!”

        “My soul is yours forever, senpai!”

        “I don’t take so- OH SWEET CHAOS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PONY?!” Discord’s scream came from the kitchen just seconds before he shot out and hid behind Princess Celestia, “Tia! Since when did you have a demon as a chef?!”

        “And stay out you mismatched demon spawn!” We heard Radish scream.

        “Oh, that’s no demon. That’s just the castle’s head chef.” The princess shook her head before looking to Heather, “If you could please stop offering Discord your soul and bowing to him? The guards are getting uneasy. Plus we still have more to discuss.”

        “I will never enter that kitchen again…” Discord shivered and stayed hiding behind Princess Celestia.

        “Poor de Lancie senpai. Do you need to be held?” She had her wings open wide.

        I just smacked Heather upside the head, “You are getting creepy!”

        “Maybe later… I think for now I’m going to go question a few of my opinions about chefs…” Discord shuddered and snapped, disappearing with a flash and leaving that weird root beer smell once more.

        Heather shook her head a few times. “Okay, I think I’m good.”

        “Good. Guards… Please put down your spears and just finish eating?” The princess sighed as the guards gave a noise of acknowledgement before setting their spears back against the tables they were eating and conversing at.

        “What is the other thing you wanted to talk to us about…?” I asked as I glanced around the room and then back at Heather with a sigh.

        “I wanted to ask if you’d like to explore Canterlot? I could give you both a small sum of bits if you’d like to. Though I can’t guarantee that all the ponies you’ll run into will be nice, or just courteous for that matter.” Princess Celestia levitated up two decently sized brown bags that seemed to have the local currency in it and sat them on the table.

        “Thanks for the offer, Tia, but I think it would be best for both of us to start heading back for Ponyville,” Heather said, surprisingly graceful.

        “Oh but I insist!” The princess smiled and pushed the two bags a bit closer to us, whereupon I could see the bags really didn’t have all that much in them except maybe enough to get one or two nice trinkets.

        “Well, Tom can I suppose. I really don’t like shopping or sightseeing. It bores the complete crap out of me, you have no idea.”

        “Could you at least do it to torment the nobles? They really need something to freak them out and possibly make them run away in horror that something aside from a pony is in Canterlot. They need the exercise.” Princess Celestia smirked as she revealed what seemed to be a part of some kind of plan.

        “Can’t I do that from here? I’ve learned something that could cause quite the uproar.” Oh please tell me she doesn’t mean she’ll use that here.

        “Is it something that would cause damage in any way?”

        “Maybe, depends if I hit anything.”

        “I’d prefer not to take the risk.” The princess deadpanned, “Stirring the nobles’ petty fears is one thing, causing damage to anything is another.”

        “Come on Heather, there’s no way it can be as bad it was back home!” I nudged her with a small yet hopeful grin.

        “I hate shopping!” Heather whinned. “Come on! I have… relative control of it.”

        “You have now lost my faith. We’re going on a walk… Or whatever it can be called through the city.” I gave her an annoyed stare at what she said.

        She groaned, hanging her head. “I’m gonna be so bored. You’re gonna be my pack mule for making me do this, Tom.”

        “When am I not?”

        “Well, since that’s settled, enjoy the rest of your day.” Princess Celestia stood up and brought her plate and Heather’s to the kitchen with her magic before leaving the mess hall with the pouches in front of us.

        “You owe me for this,” Heather glared at me.

        “You’re going to make me pay everything back at once one day aren’t you?” I muttered as I picked up both pouches and started to leave the mess hall.

        “Every. Single. Cent.”

        “I worry about what you’ll cash it all in for.” I shook my head to clear the horrible thoughts that came to mind.

        “Oh, I’ll think of something. You guaran-dang-tee that!” Heather proclaimed.

        “Let’s just go ‘scare the nobles’ and find a souvenir of some kind.” I sighed and rubbed the back of my head as we made our way to the castle’s main gates.

        “I wonder if they have snow globes,” Heather mused as we started walking into the city proper. “I’ve always wanted to collect something and snow globes have always seemed pretty cool.”

        “What, don’t want some weird magic thing that makes no sense instead? You just want a simple snowglobe?” I just chuckled, though it was more-so me who wanted the weird magic stuff.

        As the two of us left the castle I nodded to some of the guards along the way, despite the weird looks we got. There weren’t really any negative reactions yet, so I was curious to find out if the pony’s capital city was less speciest or racist than Ponyville.

        “And now to wander like tourists because I have no idea where we’ll be going.”

        “Eh, it’s good to see the sights every once in awhile. It can be quite relaxing.”

        “True, I agree with you on that.” 

        There was a a few minutes of silence as we moved towards and entered the market area of Canterlot before either of us said anything.

“It kinda reminds me of medieval marketplaces, just much cleaner and has much more white and gold.” I said as I looked around at ten or so stalls and a few shops with open doors.

“Eh, I’m seeing more blue and black,” Heather said with a smirk.

        “Of all the things you could ever start, you pick that. Why would you do this Heather, why?” I dragged my claws down my face with an annoyed groan as Heather laughed up a storm.

        “I couldn’t resist! It was such a stupid argument back in the day. But enough internet memes, there has to be something to do here. It’s pretty to see and all, but I want to actually do something.”

        “Well we came here to buy stuff and scare nobles, so let’s buy something, who knows ma-” I was cut off by, surprise surprise, a pompous looking pony pointing their hoof at us and screaming something about how we were going to eat him before he fainted. Most of the other ponies looked at him, shook their heads, and went back to what they were doing.

        “Well that’s a thing,” Heather said in a bored voice.

        “...Is it a common thing is my question, the others really just don’t care.” I raised a brow and looked around at the ponies.

        “Could be the old ‘no embarrassments in public’ thing a few high schoolmates told me about in primary school.” Heather shrugged. “One out of hundred is still fine by me.”

        “I guess that might be the case.” I gave the unconscious stallion one more glance and went up to the nearest stall, “Hi.”

        “Hi. Here to buy or just stare?” The mare behind the stall replied, though I wasn’t really able to tell if she was being rude or if that was just how she sounded.

        “For the moment? Stare. We’ve never been to Canterlot before, so we’re just getting accustomed to everything,” Heather explained, looking over the mare’s rather impressive collection of jewelry.

        “Oh, so you’re tourists then?” The mare’s eyes gained a faint gleam to them.

        “...Kinda?” I responded, looking at some of the gems in the jewelry.

        “I think ‘guests’ is the better term. We’re staying at the castle for a few days. Ooh, this is cute,” she said, picking up a blue sapphire necklace.

        “...You’re staying at the castle? With Princess Celestia?” The mare’s voice changed AGAIN.

        “Why does your voice keep changing with almost everything we say?” I asked, looking away from the jewelry and at the mare.

        “What are you talking about?” The mare replied in the same voice she originally greeted me in. Ponies really don’t seem to like me as much as they do Heather…

        “Oh nevermind.”

        Heather chuckled as she tried on the necklace. “Well? How does it look?”

        “It’s nice, Heather.” I said after looking at her and the necklace.

        She gave me a pouting look. “Come on, tell me what you really think! Don’t just do the one turn look, it’s rude!”

        “What? It is nice!” I gave Heather an annoyed look at the pouting glance.

        The mare coughed a bit, “You two together or something?”

        Heather’s cheeks turned red, I assumed from anger no doubt. “We are not together! Just friends!”

        “Mhm… So, are you interested in buying that necklace?” The mare said, quickly changing subjects.

        Heather looked herself over in the tiny mirror. “Yeah, I think I am. Do you have a real version of it somewhere instead of this plastic knock off?”

        “...What do you mean by ‘plastic knock off’? That’s a silver chain and sapphire.” The mare frowned at what Heather said.

        “I’ve felt real silver. This is not real silver. It’s just plastic and metal that’s been painted to look like it. And the gem?” She taps the actual jewel itself. “Pure plastic tourist trap crap. You got the real thing or not, because if not, we’re walkin’.”

        The mare took the necklace with a frown, “I don’t know where you got the idea that it’s not silver and a sapphire. It quite clearly is.”

        “Heather, are you sure it’s fake? I mean you don’t exactly feel things the way you used to.” I just gestured to her wings.

        “Just because I have wings doesn’t mean my keen eye for detail ain’t gone! I know tourist junk when I see and feel it!”

        The mare gave Heather a blank stare, “Leave my stall. Now.”

        Heather made ‘hmph’ noise, throwing the necklace back at the stall clerk. “Fine. Didn’t want it anyway,” she said before stomping away.

        The mare turned to me, “You too.”

        “What did I do?!”

        “Brought her here. Now leave.”

        “Rude…” I left the stall, quickly following after Heather, but not before giving the mare a glare.

        “You wanted that necklace didn’t you?”

        Heather hung her head, pouting. “Of course I did. It was pretty and it made me pretty.”

        I just patted her back and thought of the most comforting thing I could say, “Don’t worry, you’re pretty without it.”

        “I still want it,” she said with a bigger pout.

        “We’ll find you something nicer.”

        “But I wanted that one,” she whined like a child.

        “Then why’d you do the whole, ‘Oh it’s a fake’ thing?” I sighed and shook my head.

        “Because I was hoping she had a real one! I don’t wanna be wearing a cheap piece of plastic when she’s gonna charge me the price of the real one for it!”

        “Heather… It was real. You know they do weird things with magic here, it could have been, I don’t know, enchanted to be lighter and be more durable.” I poked her wing as I said this.

        “Don’t you doubt my powers of deduction, mister! It was a tourist trap and you know it!”

        “Uh… Whatever you say Heather…”

        Heather crossed her wings, looking away from me. “Let’s just go somewhere else now. I need some cheering up.”

        “I saw a donut shop on our way here?” I just threw out the first suggestion that came to mind.

        “Donuts!” she cheered, her mood instantly improving as she chanted the word over and over again.

        “Wow. Okay, so uh, to the donut shop it is.” I started to fly back in the direction that I saw the place.

        “After that we can go back to the castle, since I mean, we will have bought something and we terrified at least one noble.” I turned around and gave Heather a grin, “So job done.”

        “Onward! To donuts!”