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The Day After

by CaptainPipsqueak

Chapter 2: Epilogue: A Bushed Pegasus

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Four cerulean legs kicked the air spasmodically, accompanied by raucous laughter.

It was two days after Twilight's unfortunate, unexpected hangover and Spike's lagomorphic adventure and she and her friends were picnicking in a field outside of Ponyville. Pinkie - always one to share a funny story, even at her own expense - regaled them with the tale of the disastrous 'Just For You' party and the punch with extra punch.

Twilight narrowed her eyes.

"It wasn't that funny, Rainbow," she said sternly as the pegasus continued rolling on the ground. Fluttershy was almost pink with embarrassment over her friend's display, Rarity rolled her eyes dramatically and Applejack lowered her hat over her eyes with a sigh of annoyance.

"Y...yeah it was, Twilight," stuttered out Rainbow, as she shakily got to her hooves. "You, completely wasted. Oh, I wish I could have seen that and had a camera..." A smug grin appeared on her face as she finally settled down. "You'd never see somepony like me getting drunk like that; I'm way too strong!"

"Oh I wouldn't say that..." drawled a voice. "I seem'ta remember somethin' kinda similar a time ago..." Everypony turned to Applejack, whose green eyes glowed mischievously from under her Stetson as she pushed it back up to the top of her mane.

Rainbow's laughing quickly ceased and she went slightly pale before going red with anger.

"Don't you dare," she growled.

"Oh, I dare girl, I dare. Fair's fair an' you had your fun."

Rainbow gave Applejack a furious glare and muttered something about stormclouds, but settled back and let the farmer tell her tale.

"It was about a year or so before you arrived, Twi'; harvest time had just come and gone and I took it 'pon myself to celebrate and go to the town bar. Now, I ain't the drinkin' type myself, but I enjoy the odd sip now an' again and like I said I was in a celebratin' mood.

"So I'm headin' to the bar an' Rainbow pops down alongside me. I tell her my plan and she asks if she can join. I got no reason to say no, so we head off. Things were goin' fine, no worries, until somepony bet the entire bar that nopony could beat him in a shot-drinkin' contest. Nopony was willing to take it, but you know how Rainbow is. She'd just had a mug of the local and was feelin' that calm way you get once you have a cold one in you.

"So, she raises a hoof, shouts out 'I'll take that bet, mister!' an' saunters over the the guy's table. Now, to be absolutely fair, the stuff he was drinkin' was way beyond what either of us had, which was why nopony was taking the dare. But again, you know how Rainbow is: give her a challenge and she'll take it. I try to steer her clear, but she wasn't havin' none of it.

"She takes her first shot, and she realises just how out of her element she is. I could practically see the smoke shootin' from her ears. Of course that just makes her more willin' to beat the guy. She matches him, shot for shot until the poor fella decides he needs to take a nap. At this point, Rainbow is what I would charitably call 'completely drunk' and clearly incapable of taking care of herself, much less flying, so I take her back to Sweet Apple so she can sleep it off in the barn.

"We're on our way down the path and we pass this bush, 'bout the size of a typical colt and on its own. Rainbow comes to a complete halt an' she stares at the bush. She trots around it, muttering under her breath appreciatively before coming to a stop in front of it.

"And then she tries to seduce it."

Everypony stopped breathing as one. Pinkie broke the silence with a single word.

"What."

The four turned to Rainbow, who was hunkering down and trying to make herself as small as possible. Applejack grinned slightly and continued.

"Y'see, given her inebriated state and the size and shape of the bush, she'd gotten it into her head that this bush was just what she needed right now. A bit of 'company' if you catch my meanin'. Now I try to dissuade her, but she just shoves me away, so I just stand there an' enjoy the show.

"She tries all the tricks: struttin', 'accidentally' waving her tail in just the right way, stretchin' her wings and moanin' in a way she probably thought was attractive, but of course the bush was havin' none of it. On account of bein' a bush, y'see.

"So she's prancin' an' shakin' an' shimmyin' and gettin' more and more cheesed off as the bush isn't making any moves.

"Bein' a bush an' all.

"It finally ends with her completely furious and shoutin' that the bush must be gay and that she was too good for it anyway.

"And then she collapsed and threw up.

"Took me five minutes to get myself under control and drag her the rest of the way back home."

Next Chapter: Epilogue²: Electric Boogaloo Estimated time remaining: 2 Minutes
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