My right eye twitched at the sight of her. Even as calm as I felt on a fresh dose of my suppressants, still she stood there, tempting me. Fortunately, however...I was a bit more stable this time around. She wouldn't get to me that easily.

I felt the claws of my fantasy poking at the back of my brain, just daring me to say it again.

She'd cleaned herself up once more, her perfectly-brushed fur and mane only hampered slightly by the larger scars that she did her best to make up for. Even the smile she wore was smug, halfway to a grin, those lively green eyes of hers adding to what was already a fetching appearance. Her teeth were damn near perfect, all shiny and white and everything. Fuck my life.

"You look bothered by something," she muttered, her smile fading just a bit. "Everything okay? Why are you wearing a suit?"

I was actually surprised she asked. It wasn't exactly something anypony in our lines of work bothered with, in my experience. I mean, the kind of ponies I tend to spend my time around, anyways. Most nobles aren't any better, because unless they're one of those minor nobles that actually don't have their noses turned up so high towards the sky they could loop around and sniff their own assholes, any concern shown was usually just a part of their learned etiquette, not something genuine.

"Uh...I'm fine, the suit's how I normally dress," I muttered, stepping aside and motioning for her to come in. "Please, join me."

I remember thinking that I should've set out some drinks, but I believe my reasoning at the time was that I probably would've given her the wrong impression, more than I already did. In any case, she stepped inside and I closed the door behind her, flipping the lock with my magic. I saw her ear swivel at the sound, and the corner of her muzzle just barely lifted up into a cocky smirk. I was going to enjoy making that disappear.

She whistled quietly, making a circular motion in the air with her hoof. "Pretty nice place to be staying in. I have been in the suites though, so it is not quite as fancy."

"I can deal with a hovel as long as I've got privacy to do my work. Now then," I said, walking over to the TV and shutting it off. "Let's get down to business."

"Sure. My rates for personal visits are-"

"I'm not entertaining your jokes right now," I said stiffly, turning to face her once more. "I asked you to come here so I could offer you a job. Working for me."

"Hm. Интересно..." she muttered, rubbing her chin. "You are different from the other day."

"You caught me off-guard," I said, scowling at her just a little bit. "One does not expect to be welcomed into a room, only to find someone getting their dick sucked."

"That is not what I mean. You seem calmer and more focused, but your eyes are glossed over, as if you were sick," she explained, tilting her head a bit. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"I'm fine," I stated a bit louder than I intended. "Let's just get this over with. Before anything else, I want to see how strong your magic is. I've already seen your hoof-to-hoof skills."

She muttered something to herself in Gradios, and I quirked a brow. I didn't understand Gradios at all, it was kind of bordering on being a dead language, so there was no reason for being particularly fluent in it, but it sounded like she knew it just as well as she knew Equestrian. She didn't sound happy either.

"There a problem?" I asked.

"You really did not ask me here for sex?" she responded, her voice low and her posture just a bit deflated.

"No, I didn't! Is that all you think about?" I somewhat shouted at her, clenching my jaw.

"Нет. In that case, I cannot do anything for you," she said with a shrug. "I cannot stop working for my boss."

I frowned at that and let out a slow breath. "And why's that, exactly?"

"She has me under contract, and she has ordered me to never leave Stalliongrad. If I tried, my contract would be void, and she would have me killed."

"And if I promised you I would deal with her accordingly if you worked for me?"

"Alone? I would call you a fool and a liar," she said dismissively. "You cannot help me. If you do not mind, I will be leaving now."

I watched her turn and head for the door once more, reaching up with a hoof to undo the lock. I lit my horn and kept it secured firmly in place.

"No, you won't be," I said, tilting my head a little. "Have you considered what will happen to you once your charms cease to bring in the betting money she expects from you? She'll find someone to replace you. Some new champion she can usurp you with."

Her ears flattened against her skull while she turned to face me. "You say that like it is so easy...."

"I've seen that sort of thing countless times," I said, clearing my throat. "I'm ex-Mafia."

"There is no such thing as ex-Mafia," she said with a small chuckle. "You are either Mafia for the rest of your life, or you are killed by them."

"Believe what you want. The point still stands that even if she can't find a fighter better than you, she'll rig the fight against you," I said, smirking a little. "I give you maybe a year or two before you wind up in a shallow grave, if you stick with her."

She turned to face me once more, giving me a once-over. "You do not know my boss."

"No, but I know how businesses like this one work. If you don't believe me, why don't you ask the champion of the ring before you?"

She frowned at that, glancing off to the side in thought. "He has not been seen since I beat him and took his place."

"Yeah...and I guarantee you never will see him again."

Her gaze returned to me, and it was like looking at a different mare. She seemed worried now...contemplative. Gone was the swagger and confidence she had when I saw her the other day. The way her brow furrowed and her tail twitched nervously this way and that behind her, I could tell she was thinking about it a bit more carefully now.

"You never considered it before, did you?" I asked. "What about the champion before him?"

Gadget shrugged. "Some mare. She disappeared too."

I hummed a little. "Think it's a coincidence?"

"...I knew my boss was a complete говно, but..." she muttered, shaking her head slowly. "This does not seem like something she would do."

"What, because she's nice enough to send mares to your room?" I said with no small amount of snark. "Considering how much you have sex on your brain, she probably realized that was the easiest way to keep her best money-maker satisfied. Why would you ever leave?"

"Say I believe you," she uttered slowly, sitting down and giving me a hard look. "Why would you bother to help me?"

I shrugged a little. "You're the one closest to your boss's operations that I can speak to. I could've found others, but that would take too long. Not to mention, I hate to see good potential go to waste."

"Because I can fight? That cannot be the only reason."

"It isn't," I said, smiling just a little more. "You weren't the only one doing some evaluating."

She just stared at me, waiting for a proper answer. I shrugged it off and reached out with my magic for my cigar case that I'd left sitting on the nightstand. I flipped it open and pulled two of them out, bringing them over and lighting one with my magic. I took a deep drag of it and held the other out to her, but she quickly scrunched her muzzle and waved it off.

"I do not touch the stuff." she said, shaking her head.

"Your loss."

"Yours, more like. Those will kill you."

"Maybe, but that's my choice," I said to her, floating the other cigar back to where I got it from. "Anyway, you wanted a proper answer...alright. I suppose I am expecting you to take a lot on faith and unproven theories."

She snorted at that. "No kidding."

"Fine. Your ability to fight was what drew me in, but the meeting with you in your room said a lot more," I said, tapping my chin. "Your hoof-to-hoof skills are significant, but unrefined. You have an innate skill for reading your opponent, no doubt a part of your ability to read others so well simply by interacting with them. I can only imagine how good you could be if you got proper training in some form of martial arts."

"Da, I have never had any training, that is true. What else?" she asked, seeming a bit more interested now.

"Your ability to read me so well particularly intrigued me, once I met you face-to-face," I continued, taking another puff of my cigar and blowing it up into the air. "You have an air of confidence about you that I've not seen in many other ponies. You read me like an open book, from my attraction to you right down to the way I walk. Even that kiss was a test on your part, right?"

She fidgeted a little. "How did you-er, wait," she said suddenly, perking up. "So you are attracted to me?"

"I have experience with this sort of thing, and my potential attraction to you isn't important," I stated firmly. "Leave it be."

"I am pretty sure this is important!"

"Leave. It. Be. All that matters is that you figured me out through simple body language," I said with a firm stamp of my forehoof. "You're not getting under this tail."

She actually grinned at me, a cheeky thing flashing those pearly whites. "We will see about that."

I huffed a little in frustration at how sure she was of herself. It was like she'd already decided...and I couldn't help but fidget a little. I wasn't used to being treated like that, but apparently just fidgeting a little said everything to her, because her grin only widened. I resisted the urge to yell at her. Believe me, I so very much wanted to.

"Anyway...." I grumbled, taking a deep drag of my cigar and focusing on the gentle flavor of it for a moment, steadying myself. "More than anything else though, what impressed me was your accent."

Gadget stared at me blankly for a moment, her ears twitching a little. "What?"

I actually grinned back at her. "While you read body language and reactions, I gather information and compare it to what I've learned and my own life experiences," I explained to her. "You don't get that accent by speaking Equestrian as your first language. You were raised on it."

"Da? So?" she asked, tilting her head a bit. "Why is that impressive?"

"Well it wasn't at first," I said, blowing another puff of smoke from my nostrils in a slow exhale. "Then you mentioned that you never went to school. No formal education. So tell me, where exactly did you learn to speak Equestrian? How long ago?"

She blinked a few times and looked off to her left. "I am not sure, actually. It was a very long time ago."

"Equestrian is notoriously difficult to learn unless you grew up with it," I continued. "It may seem simple to me, but I've studied other languages. There are so many caveats to Equestrian it borders on nonsensical. So based on what I know, I can only assume that you learned Equestrian through exposure and self-teaching after you were older."

"I still do not see how this is impressive."

I smiled a little. "You have a capacity to learn, one that you underestimate. You and many like you...and as I have said, I hate seeing good potential go to waste. The only thing I haven't seen is what you can do with your magic, which is why I asked to see it earlier."

"So...what, you want me to work for you so you can educate me?" she asked, pff'ing and waving a hoof at me. "No thank you."

I shook my head quickly. "That's entirely up to you. I'm giving you a chance to escape from what I know for certain will eventually happen to you if you stick with your boss."

I sat down and enjoyed my cigar for a time while she stared me down, our gazes meeting for a time before she looked away, towards the floor. She was quiet, and I could almost hear the gears turning inside her head while she processed exactly what I was trying to say.

"You want me to work for you..." she said slowly, tapping her chest with a hoof. "Because you want to see what I am really capable of?"

"You're close. I would like you to work for me, but you don't have to if you don't want to. Rather, I want to give you an opportunity to do more with your life," I said calmly. "Though I would like it if we met up in Canterlot regardless."

"Alright...I do not...ugh," she muttered, groaning in frustration. "There has to be a catch. There is always a catch!"

"When I worked for the Mafia, I ran into several ponies like you," I explained, unable to help a small smile. "Ponies with talent, and I always gave them a choice. Some of them chose to work for me, some didn't. I chose to lead those that worked for me by securing their loyalty as much as possible, preferably through what kindness I could afford to show them in my position."

"This is all kinds of suspicious..." she muttered, her ears flattening against her skull. "Why should I not go straight back to my boss with everything you are telling me?"

I grinned just a little, pulling my cigar from between my lips. "Because if you do, she'll know you've been talking to someone that plans on either taking her out, or taking over her business. That won't color you in a pretty light...of course, you could always act like we never had this conversation too, in which case I'd wind up being your boss either way."

"Fffuck, you are right...cукин сын..." she groaned out. "Alright, what the fuck do you need from me?"

"Well, first of all..." I said, my horn glowing just a bit brighter. "I'd like to test the strength of your magic."

She narrowed her gaze and frowned. "Why does my magic matter so much?"

I gave her a funny look, quirking my brow at her. "You're a unicorn. How does your magic not matter?"

She pawed at the floor with a hoof nervously, reaching up to rub over the back of her head and run that hoof down over her spiky mane. I only became more curious when that hair bounced right back into place, as if it hadn't been touched at all.

"Fine," she sighed out. "Let us get this over with."

I nodded and stood up slowly, leaving my cigar in the ashtray while snuffing out the fire in it. Instead of preparing myself, I waited for her to attack me, my magic at the ready to deal with whatever she sent my way. Lacking an education and any kind of arcane training, it would've surprised me more if she'd been capable of anything outside of her telekinesis.

As it stood, her performance with magic was underwhelming at best. When I instructed her to reach out for me and try to move me, no matter what, I fought back against her grip with ease. It wasn't even a strain. She kept on trying to push, and I kept holding her back without anything more than a token effort on my part. I wasn't disappointed, though.

Her horn fizzled out, and she rubbed the side of her head, frowning to herself and lowering her head a little. She almost looked ashamed.

"Not bad," I said, humming a little. "Not good either. Your magic is under-developed. You don't use it much, do you?"

"Nah. I have always preferred my hooves." she said quietly, her voice just a few decibels above a whisper.

"I see," I said, nodding. "Yes, you'll do just fine."

"For what?"

I smiled at her. "I'll tell you later, if you decide to work for me. For now, I just need some information from you...."

Gadget scoffed at me and turned her head away. "Whatever you say, Canterlot."

I stared at her for a moment, her words not quite registering immediately. "Uh, what?"

"You know. Canterlot," she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Capital of Equestria, seat of power, home of soft, uptight, snobby ponies? I figured it would be a perfect nickname for you."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I shouted suddenly, smacking my muzzle with a hoof.

I had to just...take a moment, you know? Another fucking nickname?! What, is that just a thing for ponies to do when it comes to me? I took the time to breathe deep and slowly exhale to settle myself down, even as Gadget leaned away from me in surprise and held a foreleg in front of herself.

"Geez, what?! What is the problem?" she asked quickly.

"Nothing! Er, nothing. Nothing at all," I said, clearing my throat. "Just...let's get this over with."

She stayed quiet for a moment, then shrugged and relaxed. "Sure, alright Canterlot."

I managed to restrain the urge to smack her with my magic, but I couldn't hold back the twitching of my eye. If this were back when I was ten, I'd have already been plotting a way to get back at her. As it stood I was just focused on what I needed to get out of her right that moment.

At least one of us was being professional about this.

Her boss's name was Ruby Red, a non-Stalliongradi pegasus that most likely hailed from Cloudsdale, given what Gadget knew of her history. Pretty apple-red fur and feathers accompanied a lighter, less lively shade of salmon red mane and tail. Auburn eyes and a wily disposition rounded out what actually mattered from Gadget's description of her. Her ability to give Gadget a wild ride in bed really didn't factor into anything outside of a vague measurement of her potential stamina and strength.

What mattered most however, was the fact that she was ex-Armada. The Armada is a specialized pegasus-only branch of the Royal Guard, mainly situated in Cloudsdale, that is trained in anti-magic aerial combat. They uphold the ancient militaristic traditions from way back when Cloudsdale was just an extension of Pegasopolis. Of course, they left the xenophobia behind. Pegasopolis used to be amazingly xenophobic towards earth ponies, and to a lesser extent us unicorns. They respected us for our powerful magic and ability to blast them out of the sky with nothing more than our horns.

Then they developed a way of countering our magic. An entirely self-reliant way that utilized their own natural magic. That was and still is a skill the Armada specializes in, and I could only hope at the time that this Ruby Red was ex-Armada because she failed to learn it. They're a lot like the Wonderbolts, except they have consistent military duties that have nothing to do with putting on shows for adoring fans.

These days, they're usually called into action to deal with rogue unicorns performing illegal magic practices. Other than that, they usually stay in Cloudsdale, or other cloud-based cities. You'll rarely see them anywhere else, unless they're delivering messages or visiting relatives.

Other than that, I got the usual stuff from Gadget. A general description of the firepower they had in Ruby's home, a quick sketch of the layout...not that it would be all that helpful. She hadn't been to Ruby's house as much as I'd hoped she'd been, given they apparently slept together fairly often. I suppose that wasn't surprising. Gadget was the kind of mare that'd fuck her boss without a second thought, if the opportunity presented itself. Probably wouldn't even think of getting a bonus out of it either, the good pussy is an acceptable payment in and of itself.

It didn't help that Gadget's memory of this stuff wasn't all that great, not to mention she hadn't spent much time at the house. What she was able to give me information on was sparse at best, to the point of being almost completely useless. The house was big, an old abandoned apartment building refurnished and rebuilt on the inside to be a single large house just for her. A real low-key mansion that didn't look like a mansion. I'd seen houses like that before, and while they weren't popular, they were deceptively smart. She can keep a lot of her guards housed there instead of them having to constantly come and go, changing shifts and leaving openings in security.

"Anything else? Any further details I could use to my benefit?" I asked while writing on a few pieces of paper.

"Well, she has a butler and some other servants to keep the place clean, but other than that...not too much," Gadget told me, shrugging a little. "There is not much competition for her out here."

"Loyalty of her servants?"

"Bought, of course. Why?"

I simply nodded and pondered on that. "Wish I had more time to really stake this place out...I'd hate to leave this until the night before I head home."

"Hey, Canterlot!" she said a bit louder, drawing my attention. "Why does this matter?"

"Oh! Well, I have no reason to kill them. I'll have to make an active effort to avoid putting a bullet in any of them," I said casually, looking back to my papers. "While they may not be innocent, Ruby has not earned their loyalty. She has merely bought it, something I can do just as easily, once I take her place. Sleep spells should do the tri - Actually, now that I think about it, does she have magic detection security in place?"

That shit was the bane of unicorns that made a living sneaking their way in and out of places. That specific form of security was designed to detect and alert those in charge of it to foreign magic being cast within a given area. It made being sneaky about my magic impossible, because the moment I wound up having to use one of my spells, it'd go off and I'd have security crawling up my ass. There's a reason I got good at being quiet, careful, and reliant on my firearms. Sure, this security wasn't cheap, but I'd dealt with quite a few richer targets. I had to adapt.

"No, she has nothing like that."

"Guh, thank Celestia...but at this rate, I might still have to stake the place out before I make any more, damn it," I muttered to myself, tapping my chin with my pen. "Very irritating."

"You are serious about doing this alone?" she asked me, walking up next to me to read what I was writing down.

"Well it's not like I came to Stalliongrad intending to do this," I mumbled, looking over to her curiously. "You seem very sure that she wouldn't sell. Why is that?"

She hummed and tilted her head this way and that. "For how wily Ruby can be, she is very proud. She built that arena with her own four hooves, and several have approached her trying to purchase it. She has never sold, and one of them offered her ten million bits once."

That...well, that pretty much settled it in my mind. I only had six million in my suitcase, and that arena sure wasn't worth ten million! I took my time writing out a plan of action while Gadget just kinda...watched me work. It was a little creepy, I'll admit. Thankfully, the silence didn't last forever.

"You are crazy, da? Undeniable."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"A single pony cannot take on so many guards at once," she said dismissively. "You will die without help."

I snorted in amusement and shook my head. "I've been doing this since I was a little filly."

"I doubt that," Gadget said, walking away from me and looking around the room. "I still do not know why I am helping you."

"Because I made a strong case for it being in your best interests?" I offered, tilting my head a little.

"Yeah, but I do not know you," she said, frowning just a bit at me. "Why should I trust you?"

I furrowed my brow in thought, taking a deep breath and setting my papers and pen down. How could I get her to trust me? I could've toyed with her head, I suppose. My magic outstripped hers with ease, it wouldn't be hard, but...well, it didn't seem right. Every action has a price, and I didn't like the idea of twisting the mind of a potential ally at the risk of being found out later on. No, I had a way to secure her trust...I just didn't like it.

"Well, I have a way to secure your trust...but if I show you this, when you get to Canterlot, you work for me, plain and simple," I said, walking over to her and holding out a hoof. "Deal?"

"...That depends on what you have to show me."

I retracted my hoof and nodded. "I am not who I appear to be. I am a noble of Canterlot. My fur, mane and tail colors are all false, a part of my disguise. I am ex-Mafia. If you agree to work for me, I will show you exactly who I am."

I sat there for a moment, both of us staring at each other while I awaited her answer. I could understand if she fully intended to leave right then and there, but...well, though I may be a bit of a loner, I'd learned a long time ago that no one pony could do everything on their own. I could have found help elsewhere, but she had potential I wanted to exploit. I would do whatever it took to have her work for me. I wasn't above letting my facade fall a little if it meant getting good help.

Her face went through a veritable menagerie of expressions, but when she finally reached a hoof out to me, I took it without hesitation. A rush of relief coursed through me, and I couldn't help but smile. It was a step in the direction I wanted things to go, though I was still hesitant about revealing who I actually was to her.

"Thank you," I sighed out, stepping back and clearing my throat. "I mean that. Really."

"Yes, well, I am not the sort to leave a fair maiden in such distress!" she said, swelling her chest out and straightening her posture a little.

I just gave her a flat look and shook my head. "Moment ruined. Whatever, anyways, may as well take care of this like ripping off a bandage."

There was only a brief moment of hesitation as I lit my horn with magic once more. I worked through the spell arrays I'd laid over my fur and my hairs, carefully taking them apart while my colors slowly changed back to their usual appearance. I had closed my eyes to focus, since the opportunity was presented to me, though I kept some of my focus on my hearing to make sure she didn't make any sudden moves.

The look on her face was priceless, once I opened my eyes again.

"There is...there is no way," she said, her wide-eyed stare and partially-slack jaw doing plenty to make me have to hold back a laugh. "You are not Twilight Sparkle."

I smiled and cleared my throat. "I am Twilight Sparkle of House Sparkle. If you've ever watched TV, you've seen me in several interviews."

"Without color, it is hard to say," she said, looking me over several times, her eyes wandering up and down, taking me in. "But you definitely sound like her. You even have the bad leg."

"When did you notice that?" I asked, blinking a few times. "I put a lot of focus into keeping that hidden."

She shrugged and looked away. "You probably walked a long way to get to the arena, and those stairs are no joke for soft flabby ponies. I bet your leg was very sore."

I sighed and nodded to her. "Yeah, it was...but why didn't you say anything before? Wait, did you just call me flabby?"

"Well, those rich Canterlotian sweets and meals have to go somewhere, Canterlot," she said with a grin. "Anyway, a lot of ponies get crippled. It is rude to point out their disability, or treat them like some special snowflake because of it. Very demeaning towards them."

"I see," I stated casually, cracking a faint smile. "Well, thank you."

"That being said...there is no way you can be Twilight Sparkle."

"Why's that?" I asked, floating my cigar back over from the ashtray and re-lighting it, taking a slow drag.

"Because the student of Princess Celestia would not be here, doing these things!" she exclaimed, pointing a hoof at me accusingly. "You are a fake and a liar."

I frowned at the accusation, but I did my best to let it slide. Instead, I reached out to the phone and began to dial my home number, smiling wider and glancing over at Gadget for a moment. She just gave me a confused look.

"What are you doing?" she asked slowly.

I just shrugged and flicked my tail happily. "Calling Spike. You know, my son? The dragon?"

She looked at the phone for a moment, then back to me. "Why are you doing that?"

"Because you're making this difficult!" I said with no small amount of irritation. "I have no way of proving my identity beyond what I've shown you. I have the injury, I have my voice, the colors, my fucking wardrobe....!"

"Hey, whoa, calm down!" she said suddenly, trying to cut me off. "I did not mean to piss you off!"

"Yeah, well...I know you didn't!" I shouted, huffing and slamming the phone down on the receiver with my magic. "I just don't have the resources or time I need to prove anything. You have no reason to trust me outside of my word...and my appearance, but considering how quickly I tried to recruit you, you have every reason to be suspicious."

"Twilight Sparkle, the student of Princess Celestia herself, showing up at an illegal underground fighting ring and trying to recruit me to work for her? No, why would I ever find that suspicious?" she asked, the sarcasm almost palpable in her voice.

"Funny. Everything I said about myself was true though," I said, settling down with a quick puff of my cigar. "I was recruited by the Mafia when I was six. Got out of the game when I was thirteen."

"Well, maybe I can help you with that whole not having enough time thing," she said to me, humming a little. "I am in."

I sat there, unable to speak for a moment. It was such a sudden turn-around that I had to take a moment to actually process it.

"...Uh. What?"

"I am in. Whatever this plan of yours is. You would die if you tried to take her out on your own," she said, looking around the room once more. "Do you even have a weapon?"

"Of course I do! Wait," I said, holding up a hoof. "What's with you suddenly going along with me? I thought you said I was a fake and a liar."

"Well, I did not think of it too much when you first mentioned it before, but there is no reason for me to say no," she said, walking over to my nightstand and pulling the drawer open. "Huh, no condoms...no gun either. That is where I would have put it."

"I didn't plan on having sex during this trip," I muttered quickly. "What did I say to change your mind?"

"The whole thing, about her killing me in a rigged match. It makes sense, and Ruby is all about making money," she said, moving to hop onto my bed and nestle into it, flopping onto her back. "Ooh, this is comfy! No silk sheets though."

"....You're really a laid-back sort, aren't you?" I asked, walking over towards the bed and sitting down next to it. "You're about to lose your livelihood."

"What, you think this is my first job or something?" she asked, her forelegs twitching as she wriggled to settle into the bed more, groaning happily. "Better bed than the one at the arena...but, da, not my first job. More honest than the ones I did before."

"Well, I'd ask, but I need to get ready, and you need to get to Canterlot," I said, walking over to my suitcase and flipping it open. "There's a cheap inn located in the Red District, I can give you some bits to stay there until...well, sometime around the beginning of next week."

"Next week as in, tomorrow?"

"No, next week as in the week after this upcoming week."

"Then you should have just said that. Less confusing."

I rummaged through my suitcase until I found my goal. A small automatic pistol, the good ol' 1911, complete with a silencer. I'd taken the time to pick one up back in Canterlot. I wasn't much of a fan towards automatic pistols since they made a habit of jamming if you didn't take consistent care of every little part, but having nine rounds before you need to reload can be useful. Plus, I can't put a silencer on a revolving pistol...well, not yet anyways. I'm sure technology will make that sort of thing possible one day.

I had picked up a cleaning kit for it as well, buuuut...I only had four magazines of ammo for it. Not exactly top-notch preparation, but I could make four magazines work. Nine rounds per magazine, that's thirty-six shots. That was doable, in my situation.

I slid one of the magazines into the pistol and pulled the chamber back, letting things click into place before casually holding the gun up in my magic and looking down the sights of it. "If I didn't make it confusing, it just wouldn't have that Twilight Sparkle touch to it."

"Hah! I like you! You can take a joke," she said, sitting up suddenly and yawning. "So yeah, I am not going to Canterlot. I am going to stay here and help you."

"Uh, no, you're not. You're getting on a train to Canterlot!"

"Uh, no, I am not!" she said, grinning a cheeky little grin at me. "Look cutie, you might be Twilight Sparkle, you might not. That does not matter. Point is, you need help, and I can help. So I will head out, then I will be back, and we can take care of this."

"Okay, maybe I wasn't clear enough," I said, sliding the magazine out of the gun once more before beginning to disassemble it with my magic. "You're getting on the train, I'm killing your ex-boss tonight, and I'm taking control of her business, and the reason is because I don't know you well enough to trust you to have my back. Simple enough for you?"

"Da, and you plan on doing it alone."

"I'm nothing if not efficient. Trust me, I've been doing this since I was a child."

"Does not matter!" she said happily, looking over at me. "Going to join me on the bed?"

"Absolutely not."

"That is a shame," she said, faking a pout. "Guess I will have to keep trying. For now, I will get ready to deal with my old boss."

"What did I just-!" I began to say, but she quickly cut me off.

"Look Canterlot," she said, louder than she needed to, but she was intent on getting her point across. "If you really are Twilight Sparkle, and you wind up dead, I am out of a job, and I believe that working for you would be a pretty sweet deal. So, I am going to keep your cute ass safe until we get back to the capital and you can prove it. You understand now?"

I considered arguing with her more. She was being insufferably stubborn about this, but there was no denying that she made a good point. It was a fairly large risk to take her along, especially since she could've been playing me for a fool the entire time, but my odds were far better with some assistance.

However....

"Did you just call me cute?" I asked tersely, clenching my jaw.

"No, I called your ass cute. Big difference," she said, grinning wide. "And what a nice ass it is....!"

"...You're going to be a chore to put up with. Fine," I said, entirely feeling a hundred and ten percent done with her at the moment. "Just...I don't know, go get yourself ready, then come back here! Be back by five this evening!"

She mock-saluted, striking a stiff pose, akin to a Royal Guard. Fitting, really.

"Yes ma'am, Canterlot ma'am!" she said, performing the motions fairly accurately.

I watched her begin to leave, only to stop next to me and lean in, getting all up in my personal space. I turned my head to glare at her, feeling confused by the odd action...only to get a kiss square on the lips yet again. She held it for longer than before, and credit where it's due: I managed to restrain the urge to punch her square in the jaw. No, I just jerked away as soon as I realized what was happening, giving her chest a firm push with a forehoof to make her back off.

"Gah! Seriously, what the fuck?!" I shouted, resisting the urge to grit my teeth. "Do you do that with every mare you take interest in?!"

"Pff, no! It is just adorable how hard you try to hide how much you like it," she said, reaching and giving one of my cheeks a poke with the tip of her hoof. "Look at you! You are blushing like you are smuggling tomatoes in your cheeks! And the way you pout, так мило!"

I hissed in a deep, deep breath through my clenched teeth, slowly letting the air out through my nostrils once more before I dared to speak. "I believe you had better things to do than risking me taking a restraining order out on you?"

She smirked and swished her tail at me, standing up and stepping past me. "Very few things are better than enticing cute mares-"

"Just get out of here!" I shouted, quickly covering my muzzle with a hoof in surprise. It was very rare that anyone could make me lose my cool to such an extent....

"Woo, fine! Touchy touchy," she said, rolling her eyes while a smug smile adorned her lips. "You really should loosen up, Canterlot."

The last thing I heard from her was the door being unlocked, and her stepping out into the hall. The moment I heard the door close, I exhaled loudly and walked over to my bed, hopping up onto it and reaching out with my magic for my cleaning kit. I set the disassembled pistol down on the sheet next to myself and got to work, starting with vigorously using the tiny brush to clean out the detached barrel.

Oh, I was feeling heated. Not because I was embarrassed, but because she had such an easy time pushing my buttons. Not to mention she did it intentionally! That irritating bitch had a lot of nerve, considering she was going to be working for me! Maybe I'd make her clean up after Spike next time he had an accident, and I'd make her use her Celestia-damned mouth, talented as it seems to be at getting under my skin!

...Wait, that didn't come out right. You know what I meant!

"Bet she's got a million restraining orders from every mare in Stalliongrad, arrogant little...."

I grumbled to myself, slowly letting my mind get lost in the act of cleaning all the little pieces of my pistol. Gadget returned at some point, long before five, and she went to work cleaning up her own pistol...and she was oddly silent. I expected her to blab on and tease me more, but as it stood, she just kept working, just as I was.

Huh. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

Author's Notes:

You have no idea how tempted I was to name this chapter TR-8R. That stormtrooper from Force Awakens is still a badass for what he did, don't care what anyone says.

As always, comments are welcome and appreciated! I love 'em and live for 'em.

This chapter is heavy, and I mean heavy, on dialogue. It may interest you all to know that dialogue is actually my weakest point in writing. I hate it. Hate it with such a passion that the sun is intimidated by it. Yet I write chapters like this...and wonder why I get writer's block.

Also, I used Google Translate for the Russian words because I don't speak Russian and I know no one that can read or speak Russian. Fun!