Applejack turned to the rest of her friends, blowing a bit of her mane from her eyes. “You gals ready?”

Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash nodded in unison, eclipsed in the tall shadow of Twilight’s castle.

Rarity asked Applejack, “Why the saddle bag, darling? I thought we agreed to a light conversation today.”

Applejack’s eyes darted from side to side. “It’s nothing, you hear? Just some apples. Yes, apples… in case we get hungry.”

Rarity shut her eyes. “You and your apples, Applejack. I swear—”

“Can we hurry this up!?” Rainbow Dash cut in, hovering above them. “Let’s just go knock some sense into Twilight and be done with it! All right?”

“If she wants some sense to be knocked into her, that is,” Fluttershy added.

Rainbow Dash ran a hoof over her face. “Whatever. I’m going in.”

Just as she flew towards the door, it parted open and Rainbow Dash vanished into the gloom of the castle. The four remaining friends took a shaky step inside.

The entryway was wholly consumed in darkness, until a single spot of light illuminated a puffy desk chair facing in the opposite directly. Slowly—squeakily—it turned to face them. Twilight Sparkle sat with one leg crossed over the other, gingerly petting a snoozing Opalescence in her lap.

“So glad you’ve all decided to join me this morning,” she greeted coolly.

Rarity took a step forward. “How did you know we were coming, Twilight? And how did Opalescence get in here?”

Twilight put the cat on the ground. “I’ve actually been sitting here for six hours now, incase someone came. Opalescence must’ve climbed through a window while I was waiting.”

She clapped her hooves together and the overhead lights came on.

She smiled. “Now what can I do for you?”

Rainbow Dash shot forward to land in front of her. “I want to know why you wouldn’t stop making pancakes the last time we hung out together!”

“And I want to know why you were so quiet at our slumber party the other day,” Rarity added.

“And I want to know why you were so loud last Wednesday!” Pinkie Pie screamed, while jumping in the air and waving her legs.

Applejack approached Twilight awkwardly. “And I, uh… want to have a word alone with you, whenever these gals happen to leave.”

Despite all the questions thrown her way, Twilight’s smile never faltered. She sighed, resting her head on a hoof. “The answer to all that is simple, my friends; the real Twilight Sparkle hasn’t left this castle in well over a month. Maybe longer, it’s kinda hard to remember.”

“But, Twilight, that’s just not possible,” Rarity said. “I was with you only yesterday. All of us spent time with—”

“Clones,” Twilight finished for her. “You’ve all spent time with clones of Twilight Sparkle.”

Rarity blanched. “But why!? And how?”

Twilight shrugged again. “Magic and science, really. A giant vat of Sparkle clone goo poured into a Sparkle-shaped mold and then baked at three hundred and fifty degrees for sixty-four minutes. Add some color… a soul… break for lunch… lettuce on toast sometimes. No big deal, really.”

Applejack stood next to Rarity. “That still doesn’t explain why. Why wouldn’t the real Twilight wanna spend time with us?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Twilight’s been busy, all right? Having a castle to take care of, having a baby dragon to look after, and having six different friends can cause all sorts of time-consuming hassles. Plus, her customary one book a day policy.”

Applejack pointed a leg at her. “You said ‘Twilight’ and ‘her,’ meaning that you’re not the real Twilight at all, are you?”

Twilight tipped her a wink. “Correct, Applejack. I was one of the first of Twilight’s creations—Exposition Sparkle. My duty is to remain in this chair until someone comes along and inquires about the Twilight clones. It’s been rather lonely, to tell you the truth. But I just find explaining things so much fun for some reason!”

In a rush of air, Rainbow Dash soared to the side of Exposition Sparkle’s chair. “If you like explaining things so much, then maybe you’d like to explain which Twilight clone was sent to my place.”

Exposition Sparkle smiled at her. “Pancake Sparkle.”

“I knew it!” Rainbow Dash flew into the air. “That explains why she wouldn’t stop making pancakes! I couldn’t even stop her if I wanted to. She even made a pancake out of my couch, once she ran out of ingredients.”

“How does one even create a Pancake Sparkle?” Rarity asked. “Wouldn’t Twilight be trying to create clones that actually act somewhat like her?”

“A teeny, tiny accident,” Exposition Sparkle explained. “A bit of Twilight’s morning pancakes ended up in the clone goo and… I think you can guess the rest.”

Fluttershy raised a leg. “Which clone came to our slumber party last week?”

“Silent Sparkle. Has the tendency to say things just out of earshot.”

“I hate stuff like that!” Pinkie Pie trumpeted. “You know how annoying the volume of one’s voice can be if used incorrectly!?”

“I, umm, understood Silent Sparkle just fine, actually,” Fluttershy admitted.

Applejack asked, “Just what other clones have you been sending out into Ponyville?”

Exposition Sparkle brought a hoof to her chin. “Well, there’s Screamy Sparkle, the Twilight that can’t stop yelling, and I think Sneezy Sparkle went out to pick dandelions with Rarity the other day.”

Rarity winced. “And what a terrible day that was.”

“And I know for a fact Apple Sparkle spent close to a week at the Apple family farm for some reason…”

Applejack lowered her hat to her chest. “You mean… the Twilight that came to see—” She started again. “The Twilight that came to the farm wasn’t the real Twilight after all?”

Exposition Sparkle chuckled. “Why would you think that? Apple Sparkle has the ability to say two words and two words only: apple and apples.”

Applejack roughly wrung her hat, eyes red. “I guess I never noticed that. I’ve just never felt as close to Twilight as I did during those seven days. Is… is Apple Sparkle here?”

“Sure. I’ll bring her in.”

Exposition Sparkle brought a hoof to her mouth and whistled.

An identical Twilight Sparkle entered the room, glancing from each of the mares until locking eyes with Applejack. Her ears fell flat against her head. “Apples?”

A single tear coursed down Applejack’s cheek. “Yes, Apple Sparkle. It’s me, Applejack.”

Apple Sparkle ran to Applejack to wrap herself around her. “Apple! Apples!”

Applejack brought out a bouquet of flowers from her saddlebag and hoofed them over to her. “These are for you, Apple Sparkle. And well I… shucks, ain’t no time like the present, is there? Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Apple Sparkle’s face went blank. “…apple apples? Apple?”

Applejack smiled. “Yes, completely honest.”

“Apples!”

With that said, Applejack and Apple Sparkle kissed passionately, letting the bouquet of flowers fall to the floor. Apple Sparkle moaned out the word “Apple” on continuous loop.

Rarity tried to blink away the insanity, sadly to no avail. She glared at Exposition Sparkle. “Just how in Equestria is it possible to create so many terrible Twilights? Twilight’s smart! Twilight’s—”

“Also very friendly,” Exposition Sparkle explained, “perhaps too friendly. The first Twilight clone was almost an exact duplicate, besides the fact she was a tad more butter-hooved than most. We’ve come to call her Accident Prone Sparkle, and because Twilight felt so bad for her, she gave her a job as lab assistant.”

Rarity smashed a hoof into her temple. “That’s got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Exposition Sparkle shook her head. “No. What’s really dumb is that no one’s put a cover on the clone goo bin yet. I mean, come on! You know much stuff has fallen in there already?”

Pinkie Pie charged towards Exposition Sparkle. “All right! I want to see the real Twilight, right this minute!”

Exposition Sparkle mashed a hoof into Pinkie’s mouth. “Be quiet, please! You don’t want to wake her.”

“Wake up who, exactly? Is Twilight sleeping right now?” Fluttershy asked.

“No. Not Twilight, but Sparkle Sparkle.”

Applejack unhooked herself from Apple Sparkle just long enough to raise a brow. “Sparkle Sparkle?”

Exposition Sparkle spoke with a hushed voice. “Remember when Twilight used the powers of the other three alicorns in order to defeat Tirek and save Equestria?”

They nodded.

“Well, she’s successfully created a clone that’s has close to that same power, if not more.”

Pinkie Pie gasped. “More?”

“Didn’t I tell you to be quiet?”

“You did, but I didn’t listen!”

“WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY PEACEFUL NAPPY NAP!?”

A voice erupted from another part of the castle, so loud and all consuming it felt as if its very words were piercing the hearts and minds of all those within earshot, speaking to them from deep inside their own bodies. Cold. Uncaring. Merciless. As low and guttural as the most horrid of monsters currently residing within the walls of Tartarus.

Next came a rumble that shook the castle’s very foundation, sending bits of dust falling from the ceiling. A half-dozen chandeliers in the hallway swung from side to side on their chains.

“Look what you did!” Exposition Sparkle said. “Sparkle Sparkle is awake! Even as gifted as she was, Princess Twilight Sparkle was barely in control of her new powers when they were gifted to her. Sparkle Sparkle… is much more innocent than most, making her much more uncontrollable. More than anything, she must be dealt with carefully.”

“I say we get out of here as fast as we can,” Fluttershy chirped.

Exposition Sparkle shook her head. “I’m afraid it is too late for that. Sparkle Sparkle already knows what each of you might be thinking about before you even thought about thinking about it. All those within a hundred mile radius are already at her mercy.”

The six mares by the door huddled close together as a surge of white and yellow light exploded at the far end of the hallway. A moment later, a glowing Twilight Sparkle duplicate with a coat of white and a churning fire mane entered the room, levitating in the air in a field of bright sparks and blinding light.

“Behold!” Exposition Sparkle announced. “Sparkle Sparkle!”

As the mares’ eyes adjusted to the harsh lights, they finally saw the awesome power that was Sparkle Sparkle… as well as the fact she was about only one-third of Twilight’s usual size.

Rainbow Dash broke away from the group, chuckling. “That’s it? She’s like a foot tall. She’s like the size of Sweetie Belle!”

“Do not let her size fool you, Rainbow Dash,” Exposition Sparkle warned. “Inside of that petite filly body is the rough equivalent of four Princess Celestias, all held under the unsure control of someone who has yet to master the basic art of going potty.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled again. “But she’s so cute! Well… if she didn’t talk so loud and wasn’t on fire all the time.”

Sparkle Sparkle descended to the floor to stare at Exposition Sparkle. Her eyeballs were nothing more than yellow spaces of pure crackling energy.

“I WISH FOR COOKIES AND MILK PLEASE AND THANK YOU!”

Her words effortlessly made Exposition Sparkle’s mane blow back from her head.

Sparkle Sparkle walked up to the rest of them, stopping right below the trembling Fluttershy.

“YOU SHALL NOW READ ME STORIES AND MAKE FUNNY VOICES! THIS YOUR GOD DEMANDS! BELLY RUBS WILL BE FORTHCOMING!”

Pinkie Pie had to forcibly shove Fluttershy forward, so Sparkle Sparkle could take her hoof and lead her back down the hall. Before disappearing behind the corner, Fluttershy looked back and mouthed the words, “Help me!”

“YOUR HAIR FEELS SOFT I WILL TOUCH IT NOW!”

Sadly, even the remainder of the Elements of Harmony would be no match for the filly demi-god known as Sparkle Sparkle.

Rarity again tried to blink the insanity away. “Okay. Enough’s enough. Show us where the real Twilight Sparkle is.”

Exposition Sparkle tried her best to smile again. “She’s busy at the moment.”

“We don’t care. We want to see her. Now!”

“At the moment, she’s with… another Sparkle.”

Applejack stopped kissing Apple Sparkle’s neck to glance up. “By all the Sparkles we’ve seen so far, let me take a wild guess who she might be with: Doorstop Sparkle? Mumble Sparkle? Grape-Flavored Sparkle? Bizarro Sparkle? Waffle Sparkle?”

“Well,” Rainbow Dash interjected, “they already did make a Pancake Sparkle. Waffle Sparkle’s just going overboard.”

Applejack raised a leg. “And all this isn’t already a tad overboard?”

Exposition Sparkle sighed. “Twilight Sparkle is with Sexy Sparkle right now. How did Sexy Sparkle come to be, you ask? Just add a batch of clone goo with an E tablet and there you go.” She looked at a foreleg that held no watch. “So far, those two Twilights have been going at it for three and half days, give or take a few tea breaks and clone creating sessions.”

Rarity ground her teeth and stomped her hooves into the floor. “I don’t care who she’s with! I’m sick of all these clones! I want to see the real Twilight Sparkle, all right?”

Exposition Sparkle contemplated for a moment, unsure how much better she could explain the situation to them. She looked up. “Would you all leave if I let you watch them for a bit?”

The five mares by the door conversed between themselves, before Apple Sparkle spun around to speak for the group.

“Apples.”

Author's Notes:

Obviously, Sparkle Sparkle is best Twilight clone. Not because that's what I believe, but because Sparkle Sparkle doesn't allow me to believe in anything else.