Chapter One: Tough Luck

Everfree Forest was something of an enigma to the scientific community. Well, at least to the human scientific community. It had a climate that was, for the lack of a better term, independent of the rest of Equestria. Its wildlife varied so greatly from the rest of Equestria that many evolutionary researchers, human and pony alike, made a point of keeping species from the two regions separated in taxonomical studies. What was most baffling of all was how it somehow had remained relatively unchanged for the better part of one thousand years.

Earth could learn a thing or two from the Equestrians about conservation. Hell, if humanity had met them a few centuries ago, animals such as the Dodo may still be around, or even the Thylacine. I sighed to myself, thinking back on the silent film I’d seen on the extinct marsupial. Ah well, can’t change the past.

I cracked my knuckles before getting up and stretching, the sound reaching the ears of my companions.

“Ugh,” said a voice with a shudder. “Darren, seriously? What is it with you and those knuckles?”

I smiled at the stallion to my left, who was studying a rather healthy specimen of Poison Joke under a magnifying lens—from a discrete distance, of course.

“I’m hoping to get arthritis by the time I’m an old, cantankerous man, isn’t it obvious?” I joked. He shook his head and returned to his observing.

“So, what’s up with that slug?” asked one of my other colleagues, a unicorn mare. She blew a strand of her cornflower blue mane from her face and wiped her brow of sweat. “You’ve been looking at it for the past fifteen minutes, haven’t you? Find anything out about it?”

I glanced down at a bright orange and black slug that slowly made its way over a log, leaving a thick trail of mucus behind it. I took out a tongue depressor from my back pocket and scooped up a portion of the mucus, then put it in a sealed plastic baggie. I watched the slug for several more seconds before giving a shrug to the mare. “Aside from it’s color and that it can sense light and dark with its eye stalks? Nothing that I can tell. I’d bring it back to the lab to observe for a little while, but I’m pretty sure that’s against protocol.”

“Not to mention we don’t know anything about what or how often it eats,” noted the stallion.

I gave a grunt of agreement. “Well, the coloration suggests it’s probably poisonous, though I can’t be too sure. However, being dangerous is pretty much the norm for this place.” I sighed as I tucked a notebook I had been holding into my backpack. “I wish we had more places like this on Earth.”

“You mean like the Amazon rainforest?” joked the mare, giving me a smirk.

“Touché, Full Bloom.” I looked up to the dark canopy, only the barest beams of sunlight piercing through its numerous leaves. “Any idea what time it is?”

“Yeah, one second...” Full Bloom replied. She opened one of her saddlebags and produced a pocket watch. Her horn gave off enough light for her to read it. “It’s almost two in the afternoon. We have one hour before we’re scheduled to meet back at the pick-up zone.”

“I’ve got enough notes on the Poison Joke. That’s what I came for,” said the stallion.

I nodded. “Well, I’m good for today. Full Bloom?” I asked as I turned my attention back to her.

The mare gave a noncommittal grunt as she put her pocket watch away. “Same. None of the flowers I was looking for are in bloom yet, and Hemlock is our expert on Poison Joke.” I couldn’t miss the slightly annoyed tone she took on as she glanced over to the stallion.

The earth pony stallion chuckled. “Hey, not my fault they assigned me the most plentiful plant in the outer forest.” He packed up his own gear, ignoring the weak glare from Full Bloom.

“I studied Botany for four years at Vanhoover. You know I should have been responsible for researching it while we’re out here.” Full Bloom looked to me for support.

I just waved a hand and shook my head. “Hey, I’m not going to argue with Canterlot’s Conservation Department on who’s leading what. I’m not in that kind of position.”

“Darren, come on, you’ve seen my work! Hemlock’s all about medicine and antidotes, not—”

Hemlock saved me from getting sucked into another one of her rants. “Full Bloom, we’ll bring it up with Professor Wild Call when we get back to the lab, alright? Neither of us are doubting your expertise. Or have you already forgotten who suggested you be part of this little excursion in the first place?”

Full Bloom’s cheeks reddened, barely visible beneath her dark mulberry coat. “I...sorry, boys. It’s just...stressful.”

I gave the dark violet stallion a thankful nod, then looked to Full Bloom. “I know what you’re saying. It’s not easy for any us right now, but just try to remember what contributions we’re making with this research.”

Full Bloom’s frown vanished, being replaced with a small smile. “You’re right, Darren. I shouldn’t be complaining. You’ve got it the worst out of us three, I imagine.”

Hemlock let out a bark of laughter at that. “Yeah, you’ve managed to tick off a few of the ‘experts’. You don’t even have your...what’s it called...doctorate?”

I felt my own cheeks reddening as I nodded. “Y-yeah. Just a Bachelor’s in Biological Science. Nothing too special.”

“Darren,” Full Bloom began, her tone soft and reassuring. “You’ve been an amazing help to our research. Don’t sell yourself short like that.”

“Yeah, no one else cooks nearly as well as you do back at work during the company socials,” Hemlock added.

“Hemlock!” Full Bloom said, taking on a scolding tone. “Be nice!”

I laughed, though. Hemlock’s sense of humor had a way of rubbing you the wrong way if you took it too personal. His sarcasm and often less-than-appropriate jokes were a welcome distraction from the rather arduous work that took place at the lab, though. “Don’t worry about it, Full Bloom, he’s just kidding.” I checked around me for anything I may have missed, then continued. “Come on, if we get moving now we can make it to the pick-up zone with time to spare. I’m aching to get back to Hoofington.”

“Miss the bars already, huh?”

I rolled my eyes at Hemlock’s remark and pulled out my flashlight. Turning it on, I directed the beam of light towards the ground in front of me. While humans didn’t react as badly to Poison Joke—results varied from mild rashes like poison ivy to seeing colors when hearing certain pitches or frequencies and smelling odors from nonexistent sources—I wasn’t about to test my luck with the plant. Hemlock told me some awful stories about some extreme reactions to the plant from ponies, and I developed a healthy respect for the plant shortly after.

“Glory Weaver? Stern Shield? You guys here still?” I called out into the wilderness.

“Yes, Mr. Halverson,” replied a deep, masculine voice just beyond the range of my flashlight. I lifted it a little, revealing two Canterlot Royal Guards: our only real protection from anything dangerous that might decide to attack us. Both were unicorn, which gave me some comfort. Even a hungry Manticore would have more than a bit of trouble cut out for it if it went toe-to-toe with a duo of military trained unicorn stallions.

“Good, just making sure a cockatrice didn’t sneak up and pull a fast one on us,” I joked. The older stallion of the two, Stern Shield, gave a small laugh while Glory Weaver frowned a little.

“Cockatrices aren’t a laughing matter,” Glory Weaver said with a snort. “One of my buddies almost got petrified by one a month ago.”

“Oh, shut it, Glory. Boltstrike wouldn’t notice a dragon were it to land on Canterlot Castle’s roof and start singing that one human song, Copabonanza”

“Copacabana, Stern Shield,” I corrected. “Anyway, thanks for keeping an eye on us, guys.”

“Just doing our job, Mr. Halverson,” the older stallion replied. “Ready to head back?”

“More than you would believe. Looks like the mosquitoes here discovered the taste of human and can’t get enough of it,” I replied while slapping an arm. “Oh, that was a big one.”

Forty long, mosquito-infested minutes passed before we finally reached our designated pick-up point. The bright, green flame left to mark our spot flickered brightly in the small clearing, providing a beacon not only for us, but for the pegasi who would be giving us our ride back to Hoofington.

“Suppose they forgot where the beacon had been dropped, and wouldn’t find us until after sundown…” Hemlock began.

“Don’t even start, Hemlock,” Full Bloom said in a warning tone. “I don’t want to be out here any longer than I have to.”

About another ten minutes passed when we heard the sound of wings flapping above us. We looked up to see about four pegasi pulling a chariot behind them. They circled the clearing several times, then took a sharp turn and dove. As they touched down, they turned to give enough room for the carriage without crashing into the trees.

“Showoffs…” Glory Weaver muttered under his breath. Stern Shield just chuckled quietly as he approached the group of pegasi.

The pegasi were decked in the same armor as our two guard escorts. They took a cursory look at us, probably to make sure all five of us were present, then turned their attention to Stern Shield and Glory Weaver. “No problems?”

“None, though Mr. Halverson will probably need some ointment for his bug bites,” Stern Shield answered, getting a snicker from a few of the pegasi.

We boarded the chariot and were in the air within minutes. I leaned back and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of wind blowing through my hair. It had been a long day of fieldwork, walking, and more fieldwork, so I felt a brief nap was in due order.

“So, Darren, you heard anything from your family?”

I opened an eye and glanced over at Full Bloom, who was now looking away from me. I shook my head once.

“Oh...well...I’m sure they’re just busy. It can be tricky to send mail from Equestria to Earth, after all. Maybe they just haven’t gotten your letter yet?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe they’re just ticked off at me and my father is writing me out of his will.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Full Bloom said, trying to sound reassuring. “It didn’t sound that bad from what Mel told me.”

“That’s because Mel doesn’t talk about other people’s business. She’s my friend, and I doubt she’d be telling everyone about my life without me being there.” I sighed, “Just don’t worry about it, Full Bloom.”

“Okay…” Full Bloom replied, though I could sense that she didn’t sound very convinced. She would probably try to bring it up again in the near future.

Long story short, I had an argument with my folks about staying in Equestria for what might be several years. Most of the concern was from my father, seeing as I rarely spoke to my mother these days. My father claimed I was letting a bunch of aliens affect my beliefs and principles, and that I might never see him again.

What if the portal collapsed while you’re off in ponyland, galavanting around doing who knows what? He had asked me right before I had left.

As for my mother, I have no clue whether she ever got the letter I mailed to her that told her of my plans to move to the other side of the Neo Equinenox portal. To be honest, I’m not sure she cared.

My older brother and my dad’s younger brother were the only ones that really supported me, saying that I should seize the chance to cross over to another dimension and learn. Then again, my brother was all for traveling, seeing as he was actively involved in the United States military. In fact, he was still serving over in Gryphon right now from what his last few emails to me had said.

As for my uncle, he just wanted me to get out more often. He’d always told me that I should be living every day to the fullest.

Regardless of my father’s concerns, I still took the job offer in Equestria. After selling a good chunk of my possessions and converting my checking account and all of my savings to bits, I left Earth and caught the first plane to Hawaii, then the first available trip by sea Neo Equinenox, and never looked back. Most would be worried about the costs and how much it could ruin them, but…

Well, it did help that my uncle had a friend or two who worked in the federal government. It also helped that said friends got me set up for a cheap tickets, passport, and travel visa after I signed onto a joint project between Equestria and the United States Fish and Wildlife Service. Almost as soon as I signed the travel documents back on Neo Equinenox and got several shots for goodness-knows-what, I was tossed through the portal and came out in ponyland.

By the way, to anyone traveling to Equestria in the near future, going through a rift between dimensions does a real number to the stomach. No roller coaster in the world could compare to what I experienced, and I was just thankful I hadn’t tossed my cookies upon ending up on the other side.

It had been almost two years since I had arrived to Equestria, and it all been rather blurry for me with how much had happened at once. It was still a faster process than a visit to the DOT, though, so I didn’t complain much.

“Ah, home sweet home…” Hemlock said aloud as we descended on the town of Hoofington.

The chariot shook only slightly as we made contact with the cobblestone road. We got out and said our thanks to the guards, who made their way down the road, likely heading to the hotel they were staying in for the week.

Full Bloom, Hemlock, and I headed towards a two storied building with a sign out front that read “Ecosystems for Equestria” on it. Compared to the overall old-fashioned look of Hoofington’s buildings, this structure appeared rather new. The windows were fairly large and placed to provide as much natural sunlight as possible during daytime hours. If my memory was correct, the place also had geothermal heating vents. There were several large solar panels lining the rooftop, and lots of flowers for attracting local insects and birds.

It was an environmentalist’s dream house.

We made our way through the front doors, a soft jingle from the bell above the entrance signaling our arrival. The earth pony mare at the front counter looked up to us and smiled. “Hey, you three. How was the Everfree?”

“Humid, sticky, and dark,” replied Hemlock. “Darren found a slug, I looked at Poison Joke for a few hours, and Full Bloom may or may not have eaten all of our granola bars.”

“I packed those for myself,” Full Bloom defended. “I said you guys should pack your own food.”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the mare behind the counter. “Is Professor Wild Call in right now, Quick Quill?”

Quick Quill’s ears folded back a bit, and she bit her lower lip. “Oh… um… yes. Actually, she was hoping to speak with you, Darren.”

I frowned. “Really? What about?”

Quick Quill sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know, but she seemed rather busy. She said go straight to her office when you have a chance.”

I glanced over my shoulder to Hemlock and Full Bloom, and both gave me equally clueless looks. “Um...okay, then. I guess I’ll go do that, then.”

Professor Wild Call’s office was on the far end of the main hall. I couldn’t help but feel a small knot forming in my stomach as I raised my hand and knocked.

“Come in,” called a mare’s voice on the other side.

I opened the door and poked my head in. “Professor Wild Call? You wanted to speak with me?”

A middle-aged earth pony mare with a light green coat and dark green mane looked up from a stack of papers she was reading. Her mane was done up in a messy bun, and she had noticeable bags under her eyes.

“Ah, Darren, come on in. Sorry about the mess.” She waved a hoof at several empty mugs of coffee. “It’s been a rather...hectic day.”

The tone in her voice lacked its usual peppiness. Even on her worst days, Wild Call was always willing to give you a smile and some words of encouragement. Heck, even on only six hours of sleep over a three day stretch, she still had more energy than half the staff did in the morning.

“So, what did you need to speak to me about?” I asked, smiling politely.

Wild Call sighed deeply and rubbed her temples with both hooves. “Darren, how long have you been working with us now? Two years and a few months?”

“Yeah, give or take…” I felt my smile waver. “Why?”

Wild Call shook her head slowly. “Headquarters is going through a major overhaul in restructuring. Lots of changes are being made…”

Oh no.

“...the Vanhoover branch had to lay off almost twenty employees, and I just got word that Canterlot is calling for our annual reports next week already…”

“Not to be a pessimist, but I’m not liking where you’re going with this, Professor,” I said, trying to laugh. “What are you getting at?”

“Darren…” Wild Call looked to her hooves and closed her eyes. “I tried. Please understand that. I fought tooth and nail with HQ, but they wouldn’t budge. Between the price of hiring Royal Guards to escort us in the Everfree, maintenance fees on the solar panels and wiring in this place with telephone lines and computers with online capabilities, the costs were piling up for headquarters.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and spoke evenly. “How many of us did you let go?”

Wild Call looked up at me, clearly ashamed. She sunk into her seat and groaned softly. “Mel, Alex, Gabe, and you.”

I looked up, frowning. “What? Mel’s been fired? She’s more qualified to be here than anyone else! She has a bachelor degree in both Ecology and Wildlife Conservation, two of the most important things we focus on here!” Wildlife sunk further into her chair, only nodding in agreement as she continued to let me rant. “She would have finished her graduate classes in half the time most people back home do if she wasn’t invited to come to Equestria.” I had to laugh at how crazy this was. “Honestly, I can probably count on one hand how many people like her you could find in Equestria right now, and I’m not talking about degrees or doctorates. She’s got more skill and experience than ninety percent of the humans in Tellus right now.” I sighed while shaking my head. “She fits this place’s needs perfectly! What was headquarters thinking?”

“I… I had little say in it. Headquarters felt that the four of you were less than qualified to remain on board.” She closed her eyes once more and rubbed her forehead. “I’m so sorry, Darren. I know how much this place meant to you…”She stared at her hooves for a long moment before looking up at me, clearly expecting me to blow up at her.

Instead, I just let out another long sigh, and nodded. “I understand.”

Wild Call didn’t look convinced, but tried her best to smile anyway. “I’m glad. Alex… didn’t take it so well.”

I sat up, and gave her a serious look. “What did he do?”

She blinked, then opened her mouth and gasped. “O-oh, nothing violent, I assure you! He… well, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s building up his bar tab right now. Poor boy couldn’t even say two words after I told him the news. He just… got up, packed his things without a single word, and left. Mel was only a little better. She at least said bye to me and promised to keep in touch.”

“And Gabe…?” I ventured.

“I…” She shook her head. “He looked somewhere between punching a hole in the wall and asking for a hug. You know how he is. Always trying to play the tough-guy or pretend he’s just all smiles.” She blew a loose strand of mane from her face and rubbed a hoof over her left temple. “It’s going to be hard to replace him. He might not have been a biologist, but he was good with public relations.”

“Well, chances are that he’s with Alex at a bar, then.” I got up from my seat and made my way towards the door. I turned around to face Wild Call once more and gave her a small smile. “Well, Professor, I suppose this is goodbye.”

The mare’s frown deepened. “Please don’t say it like that. You’re a friend, not just an employee… erm… former employee.” She shook her head. “Sorry…”

I laughed weakly. “It’s alright. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll see you around town.”

She forced a smile. “Good. Um… I know you don’t have much to pack, but you have twenty-four hours to get everything that belongs to you out of the building. It’s just… company policy.”

“Not a problem.” I walked towards the door. “Thanks for everything, Professor.”

“Darren?”

I paused, my hand on the doorknob. I turned around and faced her, and felt the knot in my stomach tighten as I saw the worried look on her face. “Yeah?”

“Do you resent me at all because of this?”

“What?” I frowned, then shook my head. “N-no, not at all. This wasn’t your doing. You said it yourself: you couldn’t stop it.”

“Okay, then…” She nodded, satisfied with the response. “Keep in touch, okay?”

I smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to disappear off the face of Equestria all of the sudden. I live a few blocks from here, after all.”

That seemed to help a bit. She gave me a small smile in return and nodded. “Take care, Darren. If you ever need a good word of recommendation, you know my contact info.”

As soon as I closed the office door behind me, I felt a wave of nausea hit me. Fired. Just like that. All I got was some half-baked explanation that my supervisor didn’t even really believe. Even worse, she had no say in the matter.

I don’t recall much after that. I think I went to my desk at some point, because almost fifteen minutes later I was walking out of the building with a box holding what few belongings I kept at my workspace. I think more than a few of my equine co-workers asked what I was doing, I’m not sure if I gave a response.

The walk through Hoofington was much like the walk through Ecosystems for Equestria. I was on autopilot, just going through motions and taking the route home purely based on memory. Within ten minutes I was opening the door to my apartment and dropped the box on the floor without a second thought. I stumbled over to my bed and plopped down on it.

“Well…” I said aloud. “...shit.”

Author's Notes:

Yep, I'm stepping into new territory here. This is the first story I've ever written with the Human tag! Be afraid, very afraid!

(cue lightning and thunder)

No, but seriously, though, I've actually been tending to this little beast for a while now. It's been in my Gdocs for at least a year now, and I finally decided to make something out of it. After discussing a few ideas I had with Demon Eyes Laharl, I started to hammer away and suddenly I had five more chapters written out. Kind of scary how that happens when you have an idea festering in your brain for so long.

Anyway, this is, in case you didn't already know, set within the Gentlemanverse. I owe a big thank you to Demon Eyes Laharl, AJ Aficionado, and Firesight for all the help in cleaning this up and providing me with feedback as I moved along with this fic. I recommend giving their stuff a look at as well if you're a fan of this story, so be sure to check them out!

Anyway, the next three chapters are available as well, so feel free to give those a look. Hope you enjoyed this so far!