New Beginnings

by Hiver

First published

A magical accident have a human end up in Equestria in the form of a unicorn.

A magical accident has a human end up in Equestria in the form of a unicorn.

Warning, Spoilers in comment section.

Cover art by: Sipioc

AN// All thanks to the people over at spacebattles.com for betaing.

Sequel can be found here: /story/306592/normal-life

Chapter 1

Day 31.

I should probably have started this journal earlier, but I didn't have the manual dexterity to work a pen until now.

Though I suppose manual dexterity is not exactly the right word... and now that I think about it, pen is exactly the right word. As in a literal pen. As in made from a feather.

Now that took some getting used to, but honestly? Compared to the rest, not really.

My name is Blank Page. Or at least that's the name I received here. Because I am not 'actually' a pony.

Yeah, yeah, don't believe me. See if I care. Then why are you reading this anyway?

But my doctor recommended that I started writing down my experiences, something about it helping my mental state.

Whatever. My mental state is completely normal for my situation and for what I really am.

What am I really?

Funny you should ask. Human. Yeah, I'm not surprised you've never heard of it. Bipedal naked omnivores with an affinity for building stuff.

Not that I am any more... but I really should start from the beginning, shouldn't I?

I was found in a crater filled with some kind of crystals and brought into the hospital about a month ago. Everyone thought I had been in some kind of magical accident.. until I woke up that is...


Ouch. I slowly stirred awake. Fuck my head was hurting.

Shifting I groaned. No, I was wrong. It was not my head that was hurting... it was my everything. What the...


Last thing I remember was being out for a walk when a thunderstorm rolled in. Was I hit by lightning?

Holy crap. If that's not a sign the universe hate you, I don't know what is. Forcing my eyes open, I looked up at the white ceiling. Yep... combined with the smell, I knew exactly where I was.

Hospital. Somebody must have found me.

I blinked up at the ceiling. Wait... why is it in focus? I wasn't wearing my glasses.

Reaching up to touch my face I saw my wrist. No hand and it was covered with light brown fur.

I stared at it for a long moment before I screamed in terror, looking at my other hand. No hand.

My volume redoubled and the door slammed open to reveal a quadruped pink creature with a horn on its forehead, large eyes and long white hair.

I stared at it and then screamed again, scrambling off the bed to get away.

She screamed and ran out as I managed to get all four legs beneath me and ran straight into the wall.


Well, let's just say my reaction was a pretty big clue I was not actually a pony. When they were finally able to calm me down and get my story, there was much poking, prodding and scanning with magical doohickeys.

Now in retrospect though, I'm surprised that they believed me... or at least believed me enough to check out my story.

Back home I would have been pumped full of drugs and stuck in a padded room. Not that that would help me.

I used to be a human with brown hair. Now I was a brown unicorn stallion with darker brown mane... and a piece of half rolled out white paper on my arse. Flank.

Yes, yes, you know all about 'cutiemarks'(and is that not the unmaniliest word in the world?), but this is for 'my mental benefit' so fuck off.

Honestly, I really rather dislike the concept of these 'cutiemarks'. It's like every human, sometime during puberty, gets a trampstamp that tells the entire world something that they are extra good at.

Seriously, who picks these!? Why do they usually match up to peoples names?

Mine I understand, I got the name from the mark, but most people... sorry, ponies... get their names first!

What in the fuck!

And that's another thing. First time I swore, I thought my nurse's head would explode from how red she got.

No seriously, considering she was covered with green fur, having a visible blush was kind of impressive on its own. At least before I realized the fur itself also changed color.

These people.. ponies damn it... apparently have a lot less cursing going on.

So... reader's discretion is advised?

Maybe I should have put that at the front of this thing. Meh, fuck it, not like anyone will be reading this anyway.

I have been rambling along for long enough now and my horn aches. Another reason for this, apparently this will train up my 'magical muscle' but that has to be enough for today. I'll get back to this when I can be arsed(Flanked? No, that can't be right).

Page signing out.


Chapter 2

Day 40

Maybe I should count myself lucky that I ended up a Unicorn after all. At least I have this 'magic' to make up for the lack of hands.

If you've never had hands, you have no idea how practical those things are. At least as versatile as a unicorn's telekinesis and much more automatic.

Though I admit that it's possible the instinctual use of it will come in time. Right now I have to focus rather hard to even use this pen. But it is getting easier... as embarrassing as it is to join three year old children in their training classes, they do seem to be helping.

But it could be worse. I could have ended up as an 'Earth Pony'. They are stuck with hooves and mouths only. They are tougher and stronger than the other species though... not that that makes up for the handicap in my mind. Then again, all 'subspecies' can somehow manipulate things with their hooves? At least as far as picking stuff up and so on. Don't ask me how it works, but it feels somewhat like using this telekinesis thing.

I guess a pegasus would not have been that bad either. They have wings that they can fly with... quite fast too from what I have seen. I have even spotted some that use their wings as some kind of large and clumsy hands. The feathers seem to be slightly prehensile.

Not sure it would actually make up for the lack of magic horn thingy sticking out of my forehead... not that it's brilliant though. I keep getting it stuck in my bedcovers during the night.

Anyway, I figured I might as well update this thing now that I actually have my own place.

...Maybe I should have lead with that? Hmh.

Still, I now have my own place. Not much, basically a hole in the wall with a bed, small kitchen area, some shelves, a table and a chair. It's actually not that bad, not run down or anything. But then again, this 'is' the capital.

But it's in my budget, I'm getting a small stipend from the government to live on as I don't have an occupation yet.

Speaking of the government... they have royals! Well... a Royal. But why they call Princess Celestia a Princess when she is clearly some kind of Queen if not outright Goddess, I have no idea.

She is... strange. Completely different to everyone else. She has both horn and wings and is much larger than anyone else. She is twice my height and I am of average size... her hairMane and tail are some sort of pale rainbow color and kind of... float around in a wind nobody else notices.

That stupid rumor that she is controlling the sun and the moon is clearly superstition, but she just radiates power and calm.

Even I can tell she is beautiful in a kind of... does elfish ethereal even apply to non humanoids?... way.

I actually met her. Fuck meeting her, I spent a couple of hours talking to her! I understand she wanted to make sure I was not a threat to her subjects and... I'm not. But I was surprised she wanted to see me personally, yet alone Alone.

Then again, at the time I couldn't even lift this stupid pen.... fuck I miss computers. She could likely throw me half way across town or something if she wanted to. Or turn me into a tulip. This magic thing is not just for lifting stuff.

I was really surprised when they let me out of the hospital and set me up with money every month. But.. according to them there was no reason to keep me locked up and they even looked surprised when I asked about it. They just want me to meet with some researchers a couple of times a week to hear more about my world and make sure I'm still healthy.

Well, they are right. I'm not a danger to anyone. It's just... such a very strange thing of doing things. If the hooves and tail didn't tip me off that I was on another world, that sure as hell would have.

Page, Signing off.


Letting out a sigh I put the pen back down on the table and raised my right hoof to rub at my horn as soon as I let go of the 'spell'.

Stupid thing was aching a bit, but much better than last week. Putting my hoof back onto the floor, I moved over to check my icebox.

Refrigerator. It don't feel right to call it either really as it was powered by... fuck if I know. It wasn't electricity anyway.

But it kept stuff I put in it cool and that's all that mattered at this point... or rather it would if I had any actual stuff in it.

Sighing I closed it again and shook my head before making my way over to pick out the small money pouch and putting it onto the table before starting to count it out. One months rent of this place was about a hundred bits.

I would receive about two hundred bits a month in total. From the food I ran out and got last night, the remaining hundred bits 'would' be enough for me to live on, especially as clothes wasn't really a thing here people needed. Especially if I kept to cheaper items and didn't eat out any, then I might even be able to save up some emergency money.

But it was just that... just enough to live on and not any more. I needed to find a job... at least when I finally learn not to get a horrible ache in my horn if I use it for more than twenty minutes at a time. As long as that goes on, I won't even be able to get a job as a waiter or something.

Shaking my head I used my right hoof to scoop most of it back into the pouch and hid it beneath my mattress before focusing on my magic, using it to pick up my cheap cloth satchel and putting the strap over my neck so I could carry it adjusting it over my right shoulder. The six or so bits I left on the table went into the satchel and then I headed for the door.

Time to pick up some food and locate the library. If I'm not working and only have classes during the morning so other than meeting with a couple of interested researchers from time to time, I have nothing better to do.

So I might as well research this place.

Chapter 3

Day 43

You know... I'm an alien. I'm really surprised I am being left to my own devices as much as I am. But I'm not an alien, I am clearly a unicorn.

What I mean is, that no matter whether they actually believe me or think I'm nuts, I would at the very least expect somebody to keep an eye on me.

I think they actually believed me. At least that's what the princess said. But if they did, why was I not locked up?

These people PONIES are clearly not human so their mindset should be a bit strange to me, but to let a confirmed alien in unicorn form wander around was just... fucking strange.

Then again, these people have magic and they likely have some kind of tracker on me and/or keep a hidden eye on me.

Besides, after over a month here, I can still barely use my new horn at all. Only one I am a danger to is myself.

Page, Signing off.


I looked out onto the street as ponies walked past and I very carefully focused and lifted my cup of green tea to take a sip.

It was one of the few 'luxuries' I could afford currently. But one I intended to spend what I could afford on. It reminded me of home.

That's the biggest problem really. This place was just.. so strange. It was not the differences that bothered me, not really.

I expected those. Quadruped magic using herbivores would be different from bipedal omnivore tool-users with an affinity for hitting each other over the head.

No, what really fucked with me were the similarities! My teacup for example... it had a handle that would not have looked out of place back home.

Why!? These people don't have fingers!

Though, I admit it did make it easier to keep it from rotating when lifting it with my telekinesis. Still, it was strange how many parallels there were to back home.

“Can I get you something else, Page?” a voice asked and I turned to the light blue mare with the pink hair. Pegasus, holding a tray in her mouth.

I shook my head, “No, thank you, Silver Leaf. I'm good with my tea.” That's was another very strange thing about this place. Everyone was so friendly.

First time I was here about a week ago, the waitress introduced herself.. and even remembered 'my' name when I came back the next day!

“Okay. But if there is anything else, just holler!”

I nodded and took another sip, “I will.” before I turned back to looking at the ponies moving along the street.

Walking. Talking. Pulling carts. It was just so... so strange. Even the air of this place was so different to back home.

Back home I didn't even think about it, didn't notice it. But even out on the countryside the air was not as clean as here, in the middle of their capital. Here it smelled of... grass, flowers... and in this place in particular, tea.

This world seemed really rather nice. But I would have enjoyed it a lot more of I was not stuck here in a unfamiliar body.

It wasn't home though. I didn't belong here. I missed my family. My friends. My stupid turtle.

I missed computers and cars and...

...Was that a dragon?

A small purple dragon was walking down the street, carrying a satchel and a list he was writing things down on as he walked.


Kinda a dragon. Just... tiny. And purple. And green. If he start to sing and dance, I'm fucking leaving.

You know what? Fuck it.

There is a dragon walking down the street. Why not? It's not even a 0.tribble on my weird shit-o-meter for this month.

A dragon was surprising but barely registered at this point. Nobody else were panicking and running about so it was most likely fine. He was tiny anyway.

“Page, could you do me a favor?” a voice said and I turned back to Silver Leaf who was approaching, carrying what looked like a muffin on her tray.

“It depend I suppose.”

“Try this. We are trying a new recipe and I'm not sure it came out right.”

I raised my eyebrows and then nodded, “I... suppose.” I said and focused, lifting it up with my magic and taking a sniff, “A warning though, my taste is not exactly normal.”

And if there is anything I miss more than anything else, it's meat. BBQ... steak... spare ribs. The very idea of it almost make me drool.

Not that I'm ever going to eat any of those ever again if I don't get turned back at get home. Not only is this body a herbivore, but both pigs and cows on this world are thinking, 'talking' beings. While I could figuratively kill for a burger right now, I would not 'literally' kill somebody for it.

“That's alright.” she said with a smile, “Just try it.”

Nodding I took a bite and chewed slowly. Chocolate.. vanilla... daffodil!?. Now that was a completely new taste I didn't know before arriving here.

I was not a fan.

“No offense, Silver... but I'm not sure chocolate and daddodil mix...” I slowly said, “But your really should ask somebody else, I'm a bit... abnormal when it come to food.”

She frowned slightly and shifted her wings before she nodded, “I thought it tasted alright... but okay, I'll test it one somepony else as well. Thanks for the help.”

“No problem.” I answered and couldn't help but smile, “Feel free to keep testing new things on me though.”

“I'll keep that in mind. So, any plans for the summer sun celebration?”

I raised my eyebrows at that, “The what?”

“You know... longest day of the year? They are holding it in Ponyville this year.”

“Oh... eh... no, not really. You?”

...Wait, is she asking me out? That's something I SO don't need right now and it would just disappoint her when I turned her down.

She shrugged, “Father and I are going to Ponyville to watch Celestia raise the sun. We have to close the cafe for that day though which is a bit of a bother. But I think it will be worth it.”

Ah yes. 'Raise the sun'. Oh well, not like a red dressed fat guy delivering presents all over earth in a single night is any less silly than that. All cultures have their myths and traditions.

Still, would be interesting to see I suppose... even if there was no way I could afford the trip at the moment.

“Hope you will have a great time.”

“Thank you, you too!”

Phew. She was just being friendly.

Chapter 4

Day 50

This world make no sense! The sun is not rising! She really control the sun! NothING make SENSE!

Iä! Iä! Celestia fhtagn!

Chapter 5

Day 53

I'm not sure what I should write here. The sun is back up and everything I thought was true is false.

Celestia really does control the sun... and wasn't that a kick in the balls. There are few things I generally take for granted.

The Earth rotating around the sun kind of was one of those things.

Honestly, I still just feel... numb from the reveal.

The idea that I talked to what amounts to a genuine goddess made me panic for a good five minutes. The ponies don't treat her like that though... I haven't seen anything approaching worship. Just a great deal of respect.

As for why the sun went away? Apparently the place was taken over by another goddess, Celestia's sister, Luna who had been trapped ON THE MOON FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!

There was an announcement of what had happened which is the only reason I even know what happened. A group of womenMARES in ponyville managed to use some kind of magical super weapon to save Luna from her madness.

So now there are two rulers in Equestria... even if Luna has not been seen in public yet.

Fucking hell, wasn't that a complete paradigm shift for me to wrap my head around. You would think after waking up as a fucking unicorn nothing could surprise me anymore.

Apparently I was wrong.

Goddesses and manually controlled celestial(HA!) bodies.

Fuck me.



I looked up from the journal and closed it as there was a knock on the door. Who could that be... I didn't know anyone here.

Putting the pen down into its holder, I walked over to pull open the door, “Hello?”

“Blank Page?” the guard on the other side asked. He looked identical to all other guards I seen, white fur and golden armor. Apparently their armor were enchanted to make them look the same for security, keeping their families safe.

I nodded, “Yes sir. That's me.” Now it is at least.

“Message to you.” He said and reached into his armor before pulling a scroll out, handing it over, “Have a good day.” he finished before turning to walk away, leaving me holding a scroll in my hoof.

What in the...

Kicking my door closed I lifted the scroll in my telekinesis and pulled the silk strap around it off before unrolling it.

It was from the court. Princess Celestia wished to see me tomorrow afternoon for tea to discuss matters relating to the culture on my old world.

Oh. Well... I suppose I understand why she would be curious.

...Yes, there is the feeling of panic. Celestia was powerful before, I knew this. But now I know she is a Literal immortal goddess!

One that didn't care to be worshiped, sure, but I was just invited to tea by THE FUCKING GODDESS PRINCESS OF PONYKIND!

Dropping the scroll, I took a slow, deep breath.

Okay. Calm. You like Celestia. She was very kind and understanding when you talked to her last. So calm the fuck down.

Sitting down, I closed my eyes and took a slow, deep breath.

None of the ponies here fear her from what I seen. She is not going to hit you with a sun.

Okay... okay.

Nodding to myself I got up again and walked up, picking up my satchel and slipping it over my neck, not even snagging on my horn this time.

I can lose sleep about meeting the Princess tonight. Now, I still have stuff to do before I can put together some salad for dinner.

Time to hit the library again. Magic was what I had assigned today to research. About the only thing I would get 'anything' done.

Assign subjects to each day and stick to it or I would just flutter between subjects that took my fancy for the moment.

As a afterthought I slid a bit into my satchel for some tea on the way home before heading out, locking the door behind me. Hopefully trying to wrap my mind around 'magic' of all things would keep me distracted for a while.

Chapter 6

Celestia sipped on her tea with a thoughtful look on her face as I watched her, “...So almost everyone spends their free time watching these televisions which show them plays?”

I shook my head, “Well, not everyone and it's not all plays. There is the news, weather... educational shows.” and some very much less than educational shows, “But it is a rather popular pastime.”

“Sounds rather cultured.”

I couldn't help but snort sadly at that, “If you saw the quality of said so called 'plays', you would not think so, Princess. A lot of it focuses on the lowest common denominator... it's meant to be entertaining for as many people at once as possible. Which means that it is rather... simple in the terms of story telling and rather base in content.”

The Princess looked amused, “Fart jokes?” she suggested after a second and I almost choked on my tea.

“A-among other things.” I coughed, “L-let's just say that most of it sucks.”

“Sucks? Sucks what?”

Oh shit.

“Uhm... never mind, Your Highness.”

Bloody hell, I needed to watch what I said. While she was friendly and interested in what I was explaining, I DID NOT want to offend a creature able to hit me with a star. If clearly a rather small magical version.

“You don't need to fear me, my little pony.” Celestia said with a small frown, putting her cup down on the table, “Have I done something that causes you to?”

And she could apparently read minds.... or a better explanation, she was thousands of years old and had more practice reading bodylanguage than anyone alive.

I hesitated for a moment before I decided that the truth was the best idea, “It is not that I fear you. Princess. It's that I am... very unaccustomed to this entire thing. Waking up like this,” I motioned to myself with my right hoof, “Was a great shock. But it made some degree of sense... I still had four limbs, eyes, I could see, hear and talk. I could move. It existed within my frame of reference... if barely. Magic was different, but it still wasn't completely out there. Even if there is no actual magic in my world that I am aware of, we have tales and legends about it. I can accept magic. It's your ability to control the sun and moon that is terrifying.”

Celestia looked at me for a long moment before she slowly nodded, “I see why it could be. But my ability to raise the sun... you have nothing to fear from me, my little pony.”

“I have nothing to fear from a lot of things, Princess. That doesn't make the idea of them any less scary. Despite what I look like, I'm not really a pony in my head. I will get used to this, it will just take some time... and I would rather go home.”

She nodded again, “Of course. I have personally inspected the site of your arrival. I am sad to say that I have no idea how you ended up here like this. I am aware that there are other worlds, but there are so many. Even if we had a way of reliably sending you to one of them, there is no way of knowing which is yours.”


If not even an immortal sun goddess had any idea how to get me home.. what chance did I really have?

“Do not despair, Blank Page.” Celestia said, “You ended up here somehow. If that could happen, it is not impossible for you to be able to get back. I have experts in magical theory researching it as we speak.”

I nodded and took a drink of my tea, focusing on my telekinesis to lift it. It took enough focus that it helped to calm me down.

She was right, it wasn't hopeless. Somehow I ended up here. If it could happen this way, it could happen in reverse... unless it only worked from a magicless world to one filled with it.

But I couldn't think like that. I had to trust these... ponies... to be able to figure it out. G.. heh... Celestia knew that I would never manage it myself. I knew zip about magic.

“You are right.” I sighed before the door opened and a very dark blue mare walked inside, a head taller than me, her mane and tail light blue, but had a slight sparkly nature to them.

Luna. The other Princess. Ironically enough, despite her coloration and knowing that she used to be... well, evil...she looked less scary than Celestia. Maybe because she was smaller?

“Tia! Have you heard the so called music of this age! It is atrocious!”

I just stared at her for a long moment before Celestia cleared her throat, “Luna, we have a guest. This is Blank Page, you remember me telling you about him?”

The dark moon goddess blinked in surprise as she suddenly spotted me, her volume rising a couple of hundred decibels, “Oh. Greetings, We apologize for not noticing thy presence.”

“I... suppose that's okay.” I finally managed to answer, “This is your home, Princess. I'm just a guest.”

Princess Luna walked up and sat down by the table next to her sister, pouring herself a cup of tea before filling the rest of the cup with sugar cubes.

Seriously, if it cooled, her tea would have the consistency of syrup.

“We have heard your story, Blank Page. It is a fascinating, if sad one.” Luna said after taking a sip of her tea and adding more sugar, “But We have yet to hear what your profession was before you arrived in Equestria.”

How in the world would I explain network technician?

“Uhm...” I answered after a moment's thought, “We have... machines that think of sorts, calculating things for us. I'm trained in maintaining the other machines they use to talk to each other. But I was apprentice level at best, not a true expert.”

“I see.” Celestia said with a thoughtful look, “This was your special talent?”

I shook my head, “Humans don't have those, not like ponies anyway. There may be things we are good at or enjoy, but anyone can become as good at anything with enough work. As for network repair... no I don't think so. I loved to write though.”

Luna's ears perked up, “Stories?” her volume going down to something a bit more normal.

Nodding I turned to look up at her, “Mostly, yes. I... was not that good at that either in my opinion, I just loved writing them.”

“Tell us a story from your world.” Luna commanded and laid down on the large pillow she had been sitting on.

Hmm. Yeah... I guess? But what to pick? Something classic...

Taking another sip I finished my cup of tea before refilling it, “A long long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...”

Chapter 7

Day 62

Yay. I have a job.

Not the best job in the world, I'll admit... but even so, it beat the hell out of waiting tables.

I checked around and there was an opening at one of the local bookstores. It wasn't much, just basically stocking and manning (is that still the right word?) the counter.

It also paid double of what I got from the government. I would be able to eat out some, buy some books... even some clothes.

Also, if the three days I'd worked there so far was anything to go by, I'd have about... five hours of work to do each day. The rest of the time can be spent reading, researching or... maybe I'll take up writing again.

Using a pen sucks compared to a computer keyboard, but it is also very good practice with the entire 'horn' thing.

It's... really hard to describe how it feels to use it. If you are an Earth Pony or a Pegasus (or other species) reading this at least, you have no idea what I mean. Unicorns, you know exactly what I mean.

It's like... covering the item you want to manipulate with this energy and you can feel it from all directions at once. Moving it is moving the energy and the item kind of... floats along. Getting the fine control needed to write this took over a month!

Speaking of clothes, I just realized I had not worn any for... I suppose sixty-two days. That's really fucking odd, I'll tell you.

You ponies have no idea, humans wear clothes all the time. Back home, they are not luxury items. You see, humans don't have fur, like I told you before.

But there's also other things involved, such as cultural nudity taboos. But what struck me earlier today was... I didn't miss them. Not really.

I'm covered in fur.

Now, realizing you are walking around naked when in the middle of the street might not have been the best idea.

I could have had better timing with tha-


“Page! Did you get the newest Daring Doo stocked yet?”

I looked up from my journal where I was writing on the counter. “Fully stocked, White Quill.” I answered, looking over at the older pegasus that owned the store, “I did notice that we are missing the second book in stock though.”

He grunted. “I'll order a new batch. I'll be in the office if you need any help.”

“Thanks boss, but I think I have this.”

Quill hmm-ed but nodded. “Believe you do.” before he moved back into the stacks and into the office, half closing the door behind him. I looked after him for a moment before I returned to my journal.



If the text just changed a bit, it's because my new boss wanted to check if I had the latest Daring Doo book stocked. It's quite popular, actually.

I tried reading them, but they were more of a 'Young Adult' kind of adventure series. While well written, I personally found the story somewhat simplistic, at least in the books I have read thus far.

Perhaps I would compare them to the 'Harry Potter' books back home in that way. Meant for the same age group and everything, mixed in with Indiana Jones for the actual type of stories. Not that that would mean anything to anyone reading this... if anyone is.

Man, you've got to be bored to sink this low.

...Where was I?

Oh yeah, I was thankful for White Quill for hiring me. It was rather sad, actually. His wife used to run the store with him, but... she passed away. She handled the books and counter while he did the bookkeeping and ordering part of it.

So he needed somepony new to handle the store part of the equation. I didn't really have any recommendations or, really, any references or experience, but he gave me a shot.

Something I would always be thankful for.

Speaking of books, I have thought of translating some that I remember. Celestia had to go in the middle of my story to return to the court, but Luna listened to the end and really seemed to quite like it.

Basically, stealing the plot of Star Wars and rewriting it in book form, adapted for this world with the Death Star being a flying island and stuff felt a little scummy... but not like Lucas would ever find out. And it was a good story.

I could always give him credit in an 'Inspired by' note in the back or someth-


The bell above the door plinged and I looked up, closing the journal and putting the quill away, smiling at the pink unicorn mare who walked inside. “Hello! Welcome to Quill and Quill. What can I help you with?”

“Yes please. I'm looking for the new Daring Doo book?” she asked as she approached the counter.

“This way, please.”

Chapter 8

Day 82

Welp, today was interesting. I had the day off from the store and as usual, I spent it in the library. I read up on ponies in general... as in biology.

Came across something interesting... mares outnumber stallions by an average of two point seven to one.

That should not be happening, they are mammals. Mammals as a rule end up at a 1:1 ratio... or very close to it. Humans are something like hundred and one males for every hundred females, at least at birth. At adulthood, females outnumber males.

Mostly due to the males doing stupid shit to impress said females.

That wasn't the case with ponies of any of the subspecies. There were a clear female majority at birth.

Which made me wonder exactly how that affected relationships and families... hell, society in general.

An afternoon of study (note to future self: Be more careful about picking research materials. Trashy romance novels seemed like an okay and easy place to start, but they were not. There is such a thing that once read can not be unread.) and this is what I learned:

One: While females outnumber males and it's not uncommon to see stallions in relationships with more than one mare, it is not the complete norm either. Much, much more common than among humans, though. But still not common enough that I would have actually noticed without looking it up at the library.

Two: You have a much higher degree of female/female romantic relationships than humans. You know, considering the social demographics, I really should have seen that one coming. It's not uncommon that a couple such as that seeks out a male friend when they want children.

Three: I have completely misread a great fucking number of social cues.

Example: I saw a mare give another a nuzzle on my way home from work yesterday. It thought that kind of thing was the equivalent of a light hug. Yeah, I was wrong. They were basically doing a more public version of making out... with hints of more.

Four: The question that comes to mind is... what the fuck have I been showing these ponies that I didn't intend to? I have been reacting to stuff like a human. At best, I likely look really odd. At worst, I might be seen as a raving pervert.

I feel like quoting Doctor Mordin Solus: “Implications unpleasant.”

I am so, so glad that at least I'm starting to get my fucking language under control. ...When speaking out loud at least.

I need somepony I can talk about this stuff with, somepony local.

Page signing off to go hide under his bed until the blush goes down.



I crossed my front legs and sighed as I shifted one paper to the next box. I needed to get this done! If I don't the beaver won't get its apple and then the plane won't land.

Handing the full box to the talking banana, it hit me over the head with the fish and then wandered off.

“This is very strange.” a voice said and I started, turning around to see the Princess of the Moon standing behind me, looking around the clearing. “Even for dreams.”

I stared at her for a long moment. “Princess Luna?”

She smiled. “We were curious. We have just resumed our duties in watching over the dreams of our subjects. We wondered if yours differed from normal ponies.”


“You are just a dream, right?”

The princess shook her head. “No, We are quite real. However, there is no need for alarm. We are the princess of the night, dreams fall under our purview and We never reveal what We see to others. We... were curious of what a human might dream of.”

I was unsure whether I should feel outraged by the invasion of my privacy or terrified that she could just casually jump into my head.

“...Princess, that could have been dangerous. And I'm not sure you wish to be here anyway, it's a silly place.”

And at times, somewhat perverted.

She looked amused. “So We see. Is this an average dream? It remind Us of... an unpleasant time.”

I eyed the desk and jumped off the chair. “...No, this was more nonsense than usual. But even so, there is a risk you would walk in on... other stuff. Things we might both rather not have you see.”

She actually giggled at that. “We are very aware of what can go on in dreams, Blank Page. We very much doubt that has changed for the last thousand years.”

Shaking my head, I stretched before looking up at her, pointing my hoof at her. “I'm still not convinced that you are not a figment conjured up by my subconscious.”

Luna flicked her ears. “How about We send you a message tomorrow? Would that be evidence enough?”

“Yeah, I guess that would work.”

She nodded. “Then We will do so.” She looked thoughtful and continued; “This is your world?” she asked as she looked around.

I frowned in thought before I looked around the clearing with her. “This is my dream right... I can control it?”

“If you focus, you can. Most ponies have some control over their own dreams, even if they do not always realize it.”

“...If you want, I could try to show you some of where I'm from. This is probably the only way I will be able to do it... and you did say that you were curious, Princess.”

“We would like that.”

Chapter 9

“We find this very strange.” Luna declared as she looked around the sidewalk, people walking along it, avoiding me and the princess.

I had not quite realized how small I had become before now, everything in Equestria is to scale and I had not really seen any trees yet for scale.

My head barely reached to the waist of a human.

Luna, of course, was a bit taller.

Looking around, I shook my head, “Seem accurate enough to me.” I said, “But I'm surprised the dream is this clear. I would have expected the faces to be blurry at least.”

“It is Our presence that enhances the dream imagery.” Luna explained and sat down, watching people walk by, “These creatures... they are of your species?”

I nodded, “They are humans, yeah.” and joined her, sitting down on the warm sidewalk, “I'm surprised I'm not in human form here.”

Luna shifted her wings, “The mind takes the form of the body. Usually. If you focus, you might be able to change back in your dream.”

Frowning at that, I shrugged. That would be nice, but honestly, I was not really feeling up to experimenting like that right now.

Besides, I had the feeling that if I did, it would make waking up feel a lot worse than it already would.

“...Do your people always move like that?” Luna asked curiously, “It is unfamiliar.”


“How do you mean, Princess?” I asked her with a flick of my ear.

“The way they walk.” she clarified, “It's almost like they are... constantly falling. They kind of flow... We have observed other bipedal species, such as dragons, but they move differently. And they do not move their upper appendages like that.”

Raising my eyebrows, I turned back to the people walking past.

“Seems right to me.” I finally said, “That is essentially how humans walk. Tip over forward and catch ourselves with the other foot. A kind of pendulum motion.”

“It is a fascinating thing to observe.“ Luna observed and turned her eyes at the street and the cars moving past, “What powers those carriages? Some sort of steam locomotion? Like the trains? There are so many of them.”

I grinned at that. That was something I could explain! Well, somewhat, I was not exactly a gearhead.

“Well... no.” I admitted before getting up, padding over to the closest parked car. A application of will popped the hood open and I lifted it with my telekinesis to reveal the engine as Luna joined me to peer into the heart of the machine, “Essentially, it is powered by a lot of very small explosions. The explosions make the air expand, pushing the pistons down... just like in a steam engine for a train, which drives the car.”

The Princess looked skeptical, “...Explosions? We hear no explosions.”

I shrugged, “Like I said, very small ones and very fast ones. You hear the engines of the cars, the rumbling sound? That's it.”

“How do you cause these explosions?”

“Mainly through refined oil.” I explained and dropped back onto all four, “There are other fuels, such as some alcohols, but oil based is the most common one.”

Luna looked thoughtful, “Would it be possible to recreate one of these in Equestria?”

I shrugged, “Most likely if you can make steam trains. I have already told your researchers most of what I know about it, at least what little I remember. But quite frankly, I have not seen that you have much use for it. But what do I know, I'm not a expert.”

“More so than Us in this case..” Luna said and dropped down from the car before she looked up at the skyscrapers far above, “This architecture is odd. So much glass and steel. No green.”

“This is a spot I knew would contrast with Canterlot. Which is why I picked it.” I admitted and then closed my eyes and focused and then I opened them again, we are in Stockholm instead. Roads flanked by rows of trees, patches of grass where there was room.

The air smelled cleaner and there were fewer cars.

“This is another city.” I explained, “One that is quite a bit nicer as well.”

At least when it came to environments.

Luna nodded and looked around, “This is nicer. But even so, the architecture is... alien. The proportions are strange, the doors too tall, the stairs different.”

“Well, Princess... tall bipeds require different arrangements than small quadrupeds.” I said with a shrug, “It make sense the buildings would have different dimensions. I noticed the same in Canterlot, but without a fixed scale to compare to, it was difficult to decide for certain.”

The Princess slowly nodded, scraping her right silver clad hood against the sidewalk, “You are quite correct.” before she eyed me, “Are We right in assuming you have a thorough education beyond your training for your chosen profession?”

I grinned at that, “Somewhat. But mostly I'm just a science fiction nerd. This is hardly the first time I've run into these concepts, they existed in quite a few of stories I have read or seen.”

She looked amused for a second before she nodded, “We understand.” before she swayed her tail, sitting down, “What else can you show Us other than your cities?”

I considered that for a moment. With her keeping my dream steady and clear, I could see hom... No. No, I couldn't do that.

I would not be able to handle that. Not right now.

Instead, I was quiet for a long moment as I tried to think of something. What to show her? A movie? She did like Star Wars, I could show her the original, or maybe Star Trek, assuming my subconscious contained enough detail... which it seemed to.

Finally I smiled, “I know what to show you.” and then closed my eyes and focused for a moment. When I opened my eyes again, we were in a crowd of people that towered above us.

“Where are we?” Luna asked as she looked around, equally unable to see past the crowd as I. I grinned and focused again.

Go away!

The crowd dissipated a second before a Supermarine Spitfire roared past above, my ears perking up at the amazingly sexy sound of the Rolls-Royce Merlin engine.

“Here for this.”

Luna took a step back, her eyes tracking the plane, “Some sort of flying machine? Like the carriage from before?”

“A airshow I once saw when I was young.” I answered with a smile as a SAAB Draken joined in, flying much higher.


Day 83.



AN// A bucket of thanks to Firethorn for betaing this section.

Chapter 10

Day 96.

Three months on this world. Almost a hundred days... and I think I'm starting to acclimatize. Walking on four hooves, lifting things with my mind and front hooves.

Even then, Equestria is rather strange.

For one thing, I have had a Princess drop by in my dreams a couple of times.

First she was curious. Then I showed her some of Earth and experimented a bit. As it turns out, as long as she is in my head, it's a very lucid dream rather than the normal nonsense.

Which meant that I could actually 'show' her Star Wars than simply give her a poorly told verbal story.

I think I remembered the entire thing. It's funny, I would never be able to tell you on which side of Luke Leia stood during the escape from the Death Star in that corridor, but on the TV in my dreams, it played out perfectly.

No, really.

As Luna said, the memory is a funny thing. No, seriously, I couldn't remember what I had for breakfast some days.

But apparently I could remember every single button on a console of the Galactica. Well, in a dream state with Luna's help at least.

She makes really good popcorn, by the way, and I just realized I hang out what is effectively a goddess. Perhaps not with a capital G, but still.

I'm pretty sure she would outrank the greek guys on Olymp-


“Your tea, Page.” Silver Leaf said as she put the tray down on the table before using a hoof to put the cup down in front of me.

I couldn't help but smile as I put the quill down and closed the journal. “Thank you, Silver.” I said before I raised an eyebrow at her expectant look.

What exactly was she up to? That's not what I ordered.

I took a sip and then blinked down at the tea in surprise. “...Cinnamon... cardamom... ginger? Is that clove? Mixed in with the black tea?”

She nodded. “I looked into the blend you described to me... like a month ago? This is the best I came up with. What do you think, we might add it to the collection.”

I took another sip. “It's nice. A bit strong... could do with milk and sugar. Or honey..”

It helped if you didn't think about where they got their milk from. Here, cows were... employees.

...Crap, I'm thinking about it.

Silver Leaf nodded slowly. “Yeah... I think I can see that. Want me to get a new one?”

“No, no this is good. I'll just have some sugar. It's good as it is.”

“I'll be right back!”

Smiling, I shook my head and picked the quill back up, reopening the journal. That's one of the reasons I keep coming here that didn't involve their brilliant tea.

Silver Leaf was always so cheerful... to basically everyone. It really lifted my mood.



Still, she seemed to enjoy herself. It's nice to have somepony else to talk to who isn't completely comfortable with this world.

From what I gather of what she has said, the world now is almost as different from what she is used to as it is from my own.

Her world... much less advanced and more full of conflicts. Apparently this is a time of peace that has lasted for a long time.

She is nice... if a bit loud and, well, royal at times. Lots of loud proclamations and a lot of 'We' instead of I.

I actually have a real world meeting with her tomorrow, something about wanting to show me the royal archives?

Luna had found what I managed to show her of Earth interesting. It was harder to do than I expected but I did manage some things. A city street, people and cars everywhere. An airshow. She really liked that one.

As a sidenote, according to Luna, humans look really strange, especially the way we move. A kind of... flowing motion that makes it look like we are about to tip over at any moment.

In any case, I have both today and tomorrow fr-


“Here you go.” Silver Leaf said and put the bowl down in the middle of the table. “Please enjoy.”

“Thank you, Silver. You're a star.” I answered with a smile before turning back to the journal.


-ee. Quill is heading off to meet family and is closing the store during that time. I offered to keep it open for him, I do after all handle most of the work and customer contact, but he just shook his head with a chuckle and told me to find a mare and relax for a couple of days.

In a way, I'm actually going to take his advice, funnily enough. Going to be interesting to see what Luna wants to show me.

Page, signing off.

PS: Ponies control the weather. Because of course they do. Pegasi push clouds around by hoof to where they need to be. They manufacture clouds in Cloudsdale. I don't know why I keep being surprised by these things.

Chapter 11

The sun was slowly setting in the distance. Or perhaps it should be said that Celestia had decided that it was time for night.

Flicking my ears, I approached the entrance of the castle grounds where the outer guard simply gave me a nod before letting me pass onto the grounds as I shivered slightly. It had started getting colder in the evenings. Autumn had surely begun for real.

You would think the guards of a government would be a bit more careful about who they allowed onto the grounds of the seat of government, but apparently not.

But I suppose the Secret Service would also relax a bit if the US President was a genuine divine entity able to control the sun.

But even so, it seemed a bit lax to me.

Then again, not like they let anyone in everywhere, they just recognized me by sight by now. Crossing the grounds, I turned onto another path to the left, giving another pair of patrolling guards a nod as I moved past them.

I had thought about trying to learn their names, but how in the world would I know which was which? Only the officers stood out at all, the rest had their armor which made them look identical.

It didn't take long before I rounded the main castle building and approached Luna's tower, guarded by a pair of her 'bat ponies'.

They were not actually a different subspecies, their armor was just enchanted to change their appearance. Their eyes looked slitted and their wings seemed to be those of bats instead of those of a normal pegasi. Their fur was a dark, dark blue, matching that of Luna herself.

“Blank Page to see Princess Luna.” I said with a nod in greeting as I stopped a couple of meters away.

They looked passively at me for a long moment, just like every other time, before the left one nodded as he moved to pull the door open, allowing me inside. “The Princess is expecting you.”

Heading past them I started walking up the stairs circling the inside of the tower, all the way to the top room where there was another pair of identical guards standing and waiting.

“Blank Page to see the Princess.”

Same passive look before the left one reached to open it for me. “The Princess is expecting you.”

Yes, I know. That's why I'm here. Well, I was here visiting my friend, but that was neither here nor there. I usually dropped by several times a week.

Entering the chamber, I looked around as he closed the door behind me. You would think the chambers of what was effectively the Goddess of the Night would be a lot of dark colors, black, blue.. maybe some red.

...And to be fair, there were a lot of dark colors, especially on the doors and couch and chairs, but the rest was a lot of nice wood, bookshelves and such. A painting of Celestia and Luna together above the couch.

There was two more large doors in the chamber. One I knew lead to Luna's bedchamber, the second lead to the balcony and that one was open. A tray of breakfast was sitting on the table by the couch, untouched so far.

Luna's 'day' was just starting. Raising the moon was the first thing she did after waking up usually. Then she had breakfast before going off to spend some time with Celestia until Celestia went to bed, leaving Luna to her own duties until Celestia woke up and they traded off again, giving Luna the rest of the morning to relax.

Other than the work hours, I could not help but think that Luna had the better end of that deal. Not only did she have to work less, but her hours would mean that fewer people would bother her about stupid things.

Sitting down on the floor, close to the door I waited. I didn't have to wait for long before she entered from the balcony, smiling when she spotted me.

“Page, you made it. We are glad you we-”

“I.” I corrected quickly.

Luna let out an annoyed sound. “ 'I' am glad you were able to come today.”

I shook my head and smiled. “I try, Princess.” I said as I got up, moving over to the table to join her, sitting down on one of the chairs.

“Tea?” she asked and blinked, actually looking a bit sleepy still.

“Yes please, how was your day?”

“...Slept well enough.” She said and focused on adding a bit of tea to her sugar. I couldn't help but look on with slight disapproval.

Having sugar in your tea was one thing. What she was doing was a disservice to the beverage. “Think you have enough sugar in that, Princess?”

That earned me an amused look. She knew exactly what my opinion was on the subject. Other than that, she ignored it and poured my tea, floating the cup over and allowing me to take it with my own telekinesis, keeping a hold until she was sure I had it. She learned that lesson after the first time when I was not quite ready to take a hold and ended up wearing it instead.

Luna had found it hilarious.

Her field felt kind of... tingly. Like feeling stars. Or poprocks.

“How was your research?” She asked as she let go of the cup of tea and I put it down on the table while she laid down on the couch, her cup floating in front of her.

I shrugged. “Okay. Tried at magic again... no real progress. Neither I nor the librarians were able to find the book you recommended. They had never heard of it.”

That earned me a surprised look. “What!? But it is the premier guide to starting to lea... oh. It might be a bit out of date. Well, it used to be very good and very well known.” she finished a bit more quietly, taking a sip from her cup of sugar.

She probably felt as out of place as I did most of the time.

“I have been thinking of seeing if I could take some of the classes with the youn-”

“Aha!” She suddenly exclaimed, surging to her hooves. “We know...” before she paused, “ 'I' know where there should still be a copy! In the royal archives!” before she lowered the hoof that had been pointing at the ceiling. “...I think.” she finished hesitantly.

I couldn't help but grin as I sipped at my tea. “I can take a look before I leave, see if I can find it.”

She sank down onto her couch again and sipped on her tea, floating a apple over to herself. “We will accompany you. We are well aware how difficult the archives can be to navigate.”

I just nodded. They were pretty massive.

Chapter 12

Day 130.

Fuck winter. It almost seems like they kind of skipped a lot of autumn. One day they just kind of rolled in above Canterlot with a bunch of clouds and kicked the snow out of them.

At least Luna said it was only planned to be three months of winter this year. Doesn't mean I'm any warmer now, though.

...And now I have to go out and buy food for the week. I'm actually getting pretty good at this entire 'vegetarian cooking' thing. Still hate carrots, though, and if being turned into a pony didn't cure that, nothing will.

I am however getting a taste for hay, which is kind of amusing.



Putting my journal away I wrapped a thick scarf around my neck and put the bags on my back. The scarf actually helped against the cold, funnily enough.

I actually noticed my fur quickly thickening in days after the snow fell so I could deal with the cold. Didn't mean I enjoyed walking around outside.

Fuck, I hate cold.

Putting a handful of Bits into one of the bags, I headed out and locked the door behind me before walking down the stairs and out onto the street, shivering at the cold.

Giving the snow an annoyed kick, I headed towards the market, focusing on one of the spells I had been able to learn.

Luna and I were able to find the book and it was actually pretty good... if in a bit of an archaic way of writing, but readable... and contained several theories that had since then been proven inaccurate, according to what I had been able to find out. Which is probably why it fell out of favor.

Even so, the book was really good at explaining the basics and I could now actually do some basic spells, such as light and warming.

Feeling the short term enchantment settling over me, I let it go, now feeling much more comfortable. Still, it would only last an hour or so, but it would be enough to get what I needed and get back home.


It's home now. Not just 'my place'. When did that happen?

Shaking my head, I headed towards one of the merchant stalls. Apples first. You could add them to lots of things and it would be tasty.

Apple and cinnamon porridge was pretty brilliant.

“Seven apples, please.” I asked the large, brown-furred earth pony stallion manning the stand before there was a commotion and I looked back, seeing a grey-furred unicorn running as fast as she could through the market, a trio of guards after her.

“Stop! Thief!”


Thinking fast, I waited until she was passing by before I focused and gave her furthest front hoof a tug with my telekinesis and she went into a tumble, skidding to a halt on the snow-covered ground only for two of the guards to pin her down quickly.

The third and last one came to a halt, catching his breath as he shuffled his wings. “Thank you, she might have gotten away.”

I shook my head. “No problem, Sir.”

Was a bit strange that nobody else did anything, but... that was common among humans as well and ponies were even more passive from what I noticed. More inclined to the 'flight' than fight than humans are.

“What did she take, anyway?” I asked with a frown as the guards helped her up, putting a ring around her horn and a pair of shackles around her fronthooves, keeping her from running. Also, I could only assume that ring did something to her magic?

The guard shook his head. “Stole a money bag from a mare further down the market.”


Not like anyone was starving, if you were unable to find work, you got enough to live anyway. What I got was the standard amount... well, before I was able to find my job.

I guess greed existed in all species.

“Well... glad I could help then.” I sighed. “So... what now? Do I need to sign something or...”

The guard nodded. “We would appreciate it if you came back to headquarters and gave a statement. Technically, you were involved in an altercation. Don't worry, though, it's just a formality, you were assisting a royal guard in his duties.”

“Uh... yeah, sure.” I said with a shrug and turned to pay for my apples, putting them in my bags. “Ready to go.”

I followed along with the guards and their prisoner, feeling slightly annoyed. Damn it, now I had to stay outside longer and this was my free day. I had planned to curl up with a book, an actual fiction book this time and maybe get some writing done in translating Star Wars into 'Pony Fantasy'. I was already up to 'The Island of Death'. The Death Star was a floating fortress island in my version. I suppose I could just write 'Star Wars' down as a clear copy, but that just felt cheap.

“...What?” I asked after a moment, finding the guard looking at me as we made our way towards the tower at the outskirts of the palace that served as the guard's headquarters.

“I just think I recognize you. What's your name?”

“Blank Page.”

He looked surprised for a moment before he nodded. “Oh! Now I recognize you, you are Princess L...” he started to say before he cleared his throat. “Never mind, sir, my mistake. If you would come this way please?” he instead continued, holding the door open.

What? I am Princess Lunas... what?

Chapter 13

Day 150

White Quill called me into his office to talk to me today. He is going to close his store in a month and go into retirement.

It makes me sad, but... I understand why. He is quite old and it wouldn't surprise me if the place was quite painful for him to visit.

Lots of memories of his former wife.

Which however leaves me with the problem that in a month, I will be out of a job. Which needless to say, kind of sucks in the worst way.

At least I'm not completely useless now, I no longer drop things and I can write things while also sipping on a cup of tea.

I have come to the conclusion that this entire 'magic horn' thing is infinitely superior to hands once you get used to it.

Which is why I'm able to write this while lounging on my bed, a blanket around me all the way to my ears, with a book, cup and quill floating in front of me in my golden magic aura.

There would have been no way for me to do this with hands. Fuck hands, I don't even miss them at this point.

As for my job situation, I don't know. I should be able to find a new one reasonably easy as I don't much care 'what' the job is as long as I have one.

Maybe the library. Wouldn't hurt to ask at least, would be better than waiting tables... even if that would also be quite acceptable.

I finished the book today. I promised Luna would get to read it first, so I'll drop it off with her when I visit tonight. I do have a meeting with an editor and publisher next week, so... who knows. Maybe I'll get lucky and manage to sell enough books not to need to work again!

Pff! Yeah, right. I can't even write that down with a straight face.

Still, somepony might like it enough to buy it so I can afford some luxuries. Even so, I'm kind of excited to get my first ever book published, even if I 'did' borrow most of the plot from Star Wars. Well, I have an 'Inspired by Star Wars by George Lucas' note that will be added to the dedication so I don't feel overly bad about it, and it's not like the story itself is that unique.

Something that struck me though is that the writing is coming easier for me. I think it's something to do with my magic butt tattoo. It makes things... easier somehow.

And speaking of Luna, I managed to find out what is going on in the rumor mill. Apparently the rumor is that I'm sleeping with Luna. I'll have you know that there is no sleeping going on! Other than when she is in my dreams that is.

...That sounded a lot better in my head...

Seriously, the idea is pretty laughable. Not only is she royalty... an outright goddess even if nobody calls her that... In my head, I'm still human. There are not a lot of attraction features that translate between humanoid omnivores and quadruped herbivores. Well, not physical ones anyway.

At least, I'm pretty sure. Even I can tell she is beautiful and a lot less scary than her sister for some reason. Honestly, I think it's the size, not a matter of power. Luna is still larger than I am, but she is not outright towering above me like Celestia.

But no, we are just friends. Not that it would help to deny it, even I know that much, it's better just to ignore it.

Oh well, nothing I can do about it so, whatever. At least the rumor keeps calling me 'special somepony' and not manwhore.

Well, half the rumors anyway. The other half is that I'm her 'dark apprentice'. That one made me laugh actually. If they saw my skill with magic, they would be less nervous about it.

Page, signing off.


“So... when do I get to read the next one? I really liked it.” Luna asked from her place on the couch.

“That will take a while.” I chuckled as I floated a book off the shelf to flip through it, “I just finished that one a couple of days ago.”

Okay, this book was old.

As in, it had been around before Luna's exile. Still, its protection enchantments had been working and it was really, really, intact.

Deciphering the writing took a moment, but was significantly easier than back at home. I studied archaeology and history at one point and once got to read... or try to read a thousand year old book. Well, a scan of one anyway.

I could understand maybe one word in fifteen at best. Here, it was significantly easier, it was mostly the spelling that was different. Bit odd, the culture and language did seem a bit more... static. Wonder if that came from having an immortal leader?

I suppose it could... the nobles and people around the castle took after Celestia and it spread from there. Wonder if it differs further away from the capital?

“What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” I asked and closed the book describing an area of land outside Equestria... or it was outside Equestria at that time. “Oh, just wondering how having a immortal leader affects the culture. Just noted that most of the language has been fairly static for the last thousand years.” Compared to home at least.

Luna tilted her head, “Not as static as you might think. We have noticed a lot of differences.”

“I, Luna. 'I' when you are not speaking for both you and Princess Celestia in the role of rulers. You're slipping again.” I noted with a smile as I returned to jump onto the chair again.

“'That' among other things.” she sighed in annoyance.

I shook my head, “You have to admit it has some greater clarity though.”


Chapter 14

Day 180.

Half a year since I saw another human being. Funny that, I didn't realize that until just now. I have discussed things with the researchers, Celestia and Luna. None of them have any idea where to even start.

I'm never getting back home, am I?



Dropping the quill on the page, I sighed and let my head drop onto the table. I might as well face it. I'm never getting back to earth.


Never seeing my family and friends again.


I thumped my head against the table again.

Never. Ever.

Sitting up again I looked out my small window, letting out a long, slow sigh.

I was trapped in Equestria and I was stuck as a unicorn. I was never getting back to human, was I?

I frowned at that. Well, I suppose I'm technically not 'stuck' as a unicorn. With this much magic around, it should be possible to turn me into something else if I really wanted that.

Maybe not human, I doubt they had the specifications other than possibly the images I've shown Luna. But I'm sure they could at least get me into the 'great ape' family.

Chuckling at that, I let my head drop again. Well, that would get me hands again, but I couldn't help but think that the telekinesis was a upgrade on those.

So yeah, I'm stuck as a unicorn, anything else would be a downgrade unless I can go back to human. I frowned at that thought and sighed again.

Would I actually go back to human if I could? If I could go home, then yes, I didn't exactly have a burning desire to end up on a government's vivisection table.

But if I was still stuck in Equestria?

I didn't know. I honestly couldn't... I didn't know. Standing out would be the worst thing... I had no idea where I would get clothes from. Then there was the matter of magic.

I was not very good at it, but I could do basic stuff. Light, Warmth. A spell to automatically make my bed. Worked hard for that spell.

Couldn't help but love that one. Hated doing that by hand... hoof.

No. Even if they could get me back to human... unless they could also get me home I wouldn't take it.

That realization made me sigh and get up to look out the window, putting my hooves against the windowsill, looking down on the ponies walking past a story below.

I suppose if there was a different world and body to be transferred to and transformed into, this one was not too bad. Abilities similar, if not superior, to my old body and... this world was really rather nice.

Sure, I read about dangerous creatures out in the world, but that's on the frontier, far, far away. I'm in the capital, about as far away from that as you could possibly get.

Not like it was lacking in modern conveniences either. Indoor plumbing, magical stove and icebox. If I had gotten a choice, I might even have volunteered to move here. Well, if there had been internet anyway.

Likely would have stayed as a bipedal omnivore though, but I might have moved here if given the choice.

My horn clicked against the glass and I glanced up at the sun. Well, unless I knew about the screwy astrophysics here.

...Is it still astrophysics if it didn't work according to physics?

Shaking my head in annoyance, I pulled back and headed to the kitchen to grab a apple. The fact that I no longer had a job didn't exactly help my mood.

I had liked that job, so now I had more time to... not be distracted than I liked.

I suppose I could visit Luna... but two problems with that plan. One, I didn't feel like company today, Two, she was sleeping. Too early in the day.

I needed to find more friends, but honestly, I was never that good at it. Making friends that is. ...I wasn't in the mood for that either.

Taking another bite of the apple, I briefly considered visiting the library. No, no studying today. I'll just make a cup of tea and curl up on the bed with a adventure novel and forget about the world.

A knock on the door however pulled me from my somewhat depressing thoughts and I frowned in annoyance before walking over to pull it open, “Yes?”

The mail pony held out a letter, “Blank Page? Letter for you.”

Letter? Who would send me letters?

Oh, it was likely from the publisher.

“Thank you.” I said and took it from him, floating it over to me before I gave him a nod, “Have a nice day.”

“You too, s...” I slammed the door shut before he could finish, considering tossing the letter onto the table to deal with later but that would just be pushing possible problems forward so, with a sigh, I ripped it open to check what it said.



Chapter 15

Day 185

Welp. As it turns out, it will cost me almost a thousand bits to get the first test batch of my book printed.

The publisher didn't think it would sell and as such, wouldn't pay to have it printed. Yeah, so that's not happening any time soon.

He didn't like the villain of all things! The fuck!? Said it was 'too generic' and 'too violent to sell well'.

Darth Vader!??! Generic!?

Well, fuck him then.

That did, however, leave me with the inability to have the book published. Sure, I had sent it out to another three publishers, but I was not really particularly hopeful at this point.

Which left me about five hundred bits short of being able to afford to have it published and even then it would take every bit I had. I suppose I could ask Luna for a loan, it would be chump change to her, but I don't want to. She may be rich (now that's an understatement if I've ever heard one), but I don't like taking advantage like that.

Besides, there is no guarantee it would actually sell, so I might not be able to pay it back. So I'll save up for it instead.

On the upside, if it actually does sell, I won't have to share with a publisher. I hoped to at least make back what it would cost to print.

Sadly, as I am still lacking a job, it would be quite a while until I could afford that kind of thing. However, I have found a way to pass the time that doesn't include looking for job, reading or hanging out with a goddess.

There is a 'pre-guard training' course open for all stallions and run every morning. It's basically a way for ponies wanting to join the royal guard to get in shape and learn basic fighting techniques before applying for regular guard training.

A way to increase interest and quality of the recruits, I think.

In any case, I had no intention of joining the guard. Seriously, I could think of few professions that fit me less. But, it did give me exercise as well as being slightly fun. I was way too lazy to just exercise without it being some kind of activity.

The unicorn version also contain some of the basic 'fighting with magic' training. Turns out that what I did to that thief is actually one of the basic moves for close-range fighting using magic.

Still, I can't help but be curious as to why all guards I've seen are male. With males being less common than females and not really being any stronger, I would expect the ratio to be the same as in the general population, if not fully female.

However, I suspect the reason might start with 'eye' and end with 'candy'. Hell, I know that if I was the all-mighty ruler of a land I would prefer my personal guard to be skilled and scantily-clad women instead of burly men.

Not sure I can exactly blame Celestia for that one.

Page, signing off.



The beam from my horn lashed out and completely missed the target by over a meter, and I growled in annoyance.

Hard Shield chuckled, the retired guard shook his head. “Well, you are improving.” he said; “You were at least in the general vicinity of the target this time. Perhaps you might have frightened it.”

Focusing again, I Zapped it again against my growing hornache, this time just barely hitting the edge.

Sighing, I sat down and rubbed the base of my horn.

This was beyond frustrating. I was actually a good shot back home... at least for someone who never touched a gun. Back in hunting class in school, I was the only 'non-hunter' there who was able to reliably hit things and that was my first time touching a rifle.

I always was good at that kind of stuff, be it airsoft or an actual rifle. Even blowgun. This, however, was completely different as it was stuck to my forehead!

“Better.” the dark-furred unicorn with the white mane said with a nod. “A couple more months and you might actually hit the target.”

I nodded and got up again, moving back to give the next unicorn in line a chance to try it, heading for the back of the line.

Well, if nothing else, I was learning how to defend myself and giving myself not only magic practice, but also physical exercise. I'm way too lazy to just 'exercise', I needed something entertaining and this passed for it.

Not that the spell they taught us was much use in an actual fight, we were actually encouraged to use it on each other during the 'spars'. It was about as powerful as a smack to the face.

It was mainly to practice your aim. Didn't mean I didn't suck at it... but then again, I didn't have a horn six months ago so I would like to think my progress is pretty okay... and I didn't need to go to magical kindergarten again.

As helpful as that was to get my most basic telekinesis working, it was more than a bit humiliating to be in the same class as three to six year olds... and have them be better at it than you were.

At least my horn had been fully developed and I did get good enough to be able to drop out after a couple of months. When I got good enough to write for a good long while without getting a headache.

The rest was basically a practice issue.

“Hey, don't worry about it, Page. You are getting better.” Swift Spear said from in front of me in the queue, the dark blue unicorn looking back at me, seeming rather amused.

“Yeah, yeah.” I snorted. “Not everyone is guard material, Swift. I'm mostly here for the exercise.”

He shrugged. “Just a couple of weeks until I can apply. Should get in.”

Yeah, no wonder, your family for the last five generations have all been in the guard.

He was mostly taking this class just waiting to get old enough to apply. Or so he said.

“A group of us are heading out for drinks tonight. Want in?”

“...Sure. Why not.”

Chapter 16

Resting my hooves against the railing, I looked down into the courtyard far below. There was actually quite a bit of activity for the time of the evening and I frowned slightly in thought.

“Luna, is something going on at the castle today?” I asked as I looked back at where she was laying on the couch on the balcony, a book hovering in front of her.

The moon was already high in the sky, having been raised a while ago and the first time I actually saw it done.

Been quite a sight, her horn shining of moonlight as she raised her head, the moon rising with her horn.

Luna looked away from her book, “My sister is having the Grand Galloping Gala tonight. She's had it tonight annually for the last... five hundred plus years.” she explained before she frowned, “...Do you wish to have a invite? I could get you a last minute one.”

A royal party filled with the stuffiest ponies in Equestria.

I was not a fan of parties at the best of times. That sounded like one of the worst possible ways to spend my time that I could possibly think of that didn't involve physical torture.

“Unless you really want me there, I hope you don't mind if I skip that. I'd rather do... well, just about anything else.” I answered as I quickly shook my head.

She chuckled at that and returned to her book, “I am not attending either.”

Dropping down on all four hooves again, I turned to look at her before I sat down on the floor, “What? I... thought you were kind of required to. Being the co-ruler of the country and all.”

Luna closed her book and shook her head, “I... did not wish to go. My sister has it well in hoof. It is not yet time for me to return to the public.”

I frowned at that, observing her for a long moment before I spoke up again, “Luna... when was the last time you talked to somepony? Somepony not Celestia or myself, I mean.”

She gave me a surprised look, “Everyday.”

“Actually talked. Not order or command.”

Luna looked away, “...Not regularly. As I said, it is not yet time that I return to public. I perform my duties.”


Sighing, I shook my head and returned to look out over the castle, putting my hooves back on the railing. Music had started playing softly far below. It was up to her, I could not force her to do anything.

“Speaking of duties...” She asked, speaking up after a long moment, “Have you had any luck in acquiring a new occupation?”

“Not yet.” I answered, shaking my head, looking up at the stars and moon far above, “I am still searching.”

There were some possibilities.

“If you wish, we could find you a task in the castle.” Luna said and moved up to stand next to me, giving me a playful look, “Perhaps the royal fool?”

I rolled my eyes, “I think the castle contain more than it's share of fools at the moment.” I retorted and looked down at the courtyard lit up by the large windows, “Thank you, but I prefer to make my own way if possible.”

“As you wish.”

I returned my gaze to the dark skies far above. Even with the light pollution from the city and the palace, the stars and moon was much more visible than back home. Frankly, I suspected my eyes were a lot better here than even with glasses back home.

The moon. Not Earth's moon, but still. The one place I always, as long as I could remember, have dreamed about visiting. I glanced to Luna who was watching the stars next to me. She had actually been there... for a long, long time.

Most likely, she didn't want to talk about it.

She most have noticed me gaze as she turned to look at me in turn, “You have a question?”

“I don't want to poke old wounds.”

“Ask it.”

I hesitated for a moment before I nodded, “...How was it on the moon?”

“What?” Luna asked in surprise, turning to look down at me.

Sighing, I kept looking up at the moon, “It is a dream of mine. One I've had my entire life... that of standing on the surface of the moon and looking up at the Earth far below. To reach for the stars.”

Luna shifted uncomfortably next to me, “We... nobody have dared asked us that before.” she finally said, “In truth, we do not remember much of it. We were not fully conscious, but... we remember parts. Rage... fury. Sadness. We remember thoughts...” she slowly said, seemingly speaking to herself, forgetting I was there, “We remember... but it is fuzzy. We remember the sight. It was...”

She went quiet and turned away, walking into the tower.

I looked after her before following, finding her bedchamber doors open and I carefully approached, stopping by the door.

Her bed almost seemed larger than my apartment, with four large posts, thick fabric hiding the bed itself hidden by view. I had never seen the inside of this room before.

If you thought the rest of her personal quarters were expensive looking, you had seen nothing yet. Expensive dark woods, bookshelves covered with rare books and scrolls.

“Luna?” I asked with a frown, looking around as I dared to take a step through the door, finding her sitting by a small table by the window.

She glanced in my direction but other than that she didn't react, so I approached her, stopping about a meter away.

“...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.”

“You did not.” She answered quietly, “It was simple curiosity.”

I regarded her for a moment. Fuck it. She was hurting. If Luna started to hate me for this, so be it but she needed to hear it.

“It was not you that did it.” I finally told her.


“You are not Nightmare Moon. She is the one that hurt ponies and your sister. Tried to bring darkness and eternal night to the entire world. Not you. So stop beating yourself up over it.”

Luna's eyes widened, surprise and fury flashed in them, “...How dare you...”

“I know what I have seen.” I continued, “I saw the darkness until the Elements freed you from the grasp of the shadow madness. I may never have seen Nightmare Moon on my own... but I have gotten to know you, Luna. It is not something you would ever do.”

“You assume to know us... after a short few months!?” She hissed and surged to her hooves, “We entertain your company out of amusement, outsider! We are immortal, your life are like a moth by a flame compared to us! We led legions in uniting Equestria! You have no idea what We have done!”

I didn't back down. Worst case, I might actually 'get' to see the surface of the moon but I would be DAMNED if I let her do this to herself, no matter how foolish this might be, “I may not know all about you, but I DO know you are not the same being that tried kill your sister and destroy the world. The pony I have come to know is not capable of such horrors.”

She snarled, slowly circling me, wings half spread, “So certain of that are you?”

“I am, Moonbutt.”

The Princess of the Moon froze, her eyes widening in shock, “...What...?”

Turning to face her, I glared straight back, “You heard me, Moonbutt. You are Luna, Princess of the Night, not Nightmare Moon.”

“I'm a ape in the form of a unicorn, barely able to even touch magic. Nightmare Moon would have flayed me alive for the insult before I was half way through the last sentence!” I snarled at her, talking a step closer, poking her in the chest with my hoof as she reared back slightly, “So what is it, 'Moonbutt'? Are you Luna or are you the Nightmare? Either you are Luna and innocent of her crimes or you are the Nightmare and about to kill me. Make your fucking choice already!”

Luna stared at me for a long moment, her eyes wide, before she started to slowly chuckle, her chuckling slowly turning into full blown laughter as she collapsed onto the floor, rolling onto her back.

...Not entirely sure what I expected, but that was certainly not it.

Her laughter slowly died down, “Dear Page... you are braver than you are intelligent.” she chuckled as she started to calm down, “But thank you.” she finally said and reached up, pulling me down onto the floor next to her.

“...So I'm not about to end up on the moon? Or flayed alive?” I carefully asked as I rolled onto my stomach, crossing my forelegs, moving off her.

Luna chuckled and shook her head, rolling onto her own stomach next to me, “No. No you are not. But call me 'Moonbutt' again and I might reconsider it.” she said playfully, “I am unable to remember a time anyone but our... my sister... no, I don't think even my sister have ever spoken to me quite like that. You know little of what you speak, but there is a kernel of truth. Without corruption of Dark magic, We would never be capable of such acts, even in our fury... but that do not absolve us of guilt. It was still we that did it, we that chose to turn to the dark.”

I folded my ears back, “I didn't mean anything bad by it, I just... Eep!”

She bit my ear!

“We know.” she stated as she let go, “You were trying to help us.”

I flicked my ear as she let go and relaxed next to me. I followed her example and lowered my head onto my forelegs, mostly glad that I survived that.

What the hell had I been thinking deliberately provoking somepony as powerful as her?

We stayed like that in silence for a long moment before Luna moved again, “But you will not escape punishment completely, no matter your intentions. A commoner does not speak to a Princess like that and escape unharmed, even in these times.”

I sighed and nodded, “...Very well.” The fuck had I been thinking? She is a couple of thousand years older than me. If she had been on Earth, she might have seen rise of the roman empire, she and her sister united this land. She didn't need my help.

“Then get up.” the princess ordered as she got onto her hooves, “If I am to suffer through the Gala, so are you.”

What. No! That's not what I wanted at all!

I looked up at her in surprise, “...Is the moon still a valid option? Dungeons maybe?”



Chapter 17

“Luna... I'm not exactly up to date with pony customs, but if this is such a fancy gala as you have indicated, should I not be wearing something?” I asked as I walked along.

Then again, Luna hadn't gotten changed either, wearing her dark silver and... glass stuff. Seriously, silver and glass shoes could not be comfortable. They had to be enchanted not to break or something.

That earned me a rather amused look. “Neither am I. In my time, you had been wearing a sword at your side and a hat with a feather. A blue one, in this case. Perhaps ornate armor depending on your station. In this time, I am not entirely sure. I suppose we will find out.”

“...A blue feather?”

“Dark blue. You are escorting me, are you not?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah.” That made some amount of sense. That made me wonder, though...

“Uhm... Luna?” I hesitantly asked. “I'm not... courting you, am I? You know I'm not completely up to date on pony social cues, I don't want to give the wrong idea. I have no idea what signals I might be showing.”

Luna stopped as well, looking back at me before she smiled. “Page, despite the rumors across the castle, to my knowledge you have not acted in a way out of place for a close friend.”

I paused for a second at that, my right front hoof slightly raised from the floor in confusion. What did that even mean?

“Is that a... I know you are just a friend or is that a...”

“It is a 'come, we are already hours late'. And that with time, you learn to ignore rumors.” Luna chuckled and continued down the corridor, forcing me to rush to catch up just before the guards by the large double doors opened them to allow us into the large ball room into a scene of chaos.

Columns of stone had fallen over and several statues had been smashed, ponies and creatures from bunnies to... was that a flamingo?... were running around in panic as the guards were desperately trying to catch the critters.

Luna took a step back as I blinked in surprise.


“Guard! What is going on here!?” Luna demanded, turning to the closest of the guards as he pounced, trying to catch a weasel that dodged out of the way and escaped out through the open door.

Well, it tried to as I caught it in my magic, holding it in the air as it wiggled while folding my ears back at her volume. Oh no you don't. I squeezed it a bit tighter in the magic as the pegasus guard picked himself off the floor.

“I'm not entirely sure, your highness.” He admitted. “We believe the element bearers were somehow involved.”

“What of our sister?” Luna asked as she looked around the chaos.

“I believe she vacated the area together with the Element bearers.” the guard explained. “I'm not on her personal squad, your highness, I usually guard doors.”

Luna looked quite annoyed by now. “Get the situation under control.” she ordered before she facehooved. “Then send these ponies home with our apologies.”

“Yes, your highness.”

She sighed and shook her head, turning to walk back out.

I couldn't help but grin and shake my head. Saved by the bell! I'd have to remember to thank the Elements for that if I ever met them.

I eyed the creature wiggling in my magic, trying to get free. Or perhaps I should say 'saved by the weasel'.

Floating it over to the guard I waited until he had a firm grip on it before letting go. “Good luck.” I said and turned to follow Luna, the guards closing the doors behind us.

“Well... That went better than I expected.” I said with a grin as I trotted up next to her.

That earned me a raised eyebrow. “I suppose it did turn out to be somewhat more amusing.” Luna chuckled and continued; “But it was not quite what I expected. In my time, such a thing would not have been permitted.”

I considered that for a moment. Someone letting loose a pack of flamingos during... say, a dinner party with all the politicians held at the Whitehouse or the Buckingham Palace...

The words 'Political Shitstorm' didn't even get close to covering it and it would most likely end with mean angry men with submachine guns kicking in the doors of anyone even close to involved in it.

“I don't see it as going down too well back home either.” I admitted. “There might very well have been quite a bit of... bloodshed for the people involved.”

Then again, I was having problems seeing how they would have managed it in the first place without getting shot, but I held that back. I didn't want humans to seem quite that trigger happy.

Luna snorted. “In my time as well, I believe the intruders might not have have been executed, but they would certainly have been thrown in the dungeons depending on the intention of their crime” She frowned and continued; “But perhaps not. They are the Element bearers.”

“What exactly does that entail?” I couldn't help but ask as she lead the way into one of the gardens, this one well away from the commotion.

The Princess stopped and leaned down to smell a flower before eating it. “The Elements of Harmony are a powerful force in this world. Once up on a time, I carried half, Celestia carried the rest. They... each represent the strongest part of the carriers personality. When channeled together, they can do great things.”

“Such as to defeat Nightmare Moon.”

She nodded, said; “Such as that.” and ate another flower. “When Celestia and I used them, we defeated a great force of chaos and bound it in stone where it can never escape.”

“...Bound it in stone?”

“Over there.” Luna said and looked to the right.

I turned to stare at the statue of a dragon-like creature with limbs from different animals.

Tzeentch, is that you?

“...And now you display it in your garden?”

“It is perfectly safe. It has been stone since long before my banishment.” Luna explained calmly. “There is no danger.”

Well, if she said it was safe.

“Which elements did you carry?”

She smiled at that. “I used to carry the Elements of Honesty, Laughter and Loyalty. My sister carried Kindness, Generosity and Magic.” She frowned and looked down at the rosebush. “When I turned to the Shadow... I lost my honesty, laughter and loyalty. That's how she could use them to banish me.”

Well, that conversation took a turn for the worse.

Finally, she shook her head. “It is no matter now. As you said, I am no longer her.” She looked over at me and continued; “But it is time that you leave me, it is late and you require sleep.”

I hesitated for a long moment before I nodded. “Good night, Luna.” I could tell that she wanted some time alone.

“Good night, Page.” she answered with a smile of her own before looking to the right and behind me. “Guard, show Page to one of the guestrooms.”

I twitched in surprise as one of her guards exited from behind a bush. I had NO IDEA somepony else was here!

“At once, Princess.”

How long had he been there!?

Chapter 18

Day 201

Woke up in a rather expensive bed today.

I'm not entirely certain how visiting Luna in the evening evolved from discussing books to provoking her to smite me down to going to a fancy ball only to find it overrun by animals and general panic.

All in all, it was a bit much.

A bit much might actually describe my entire time in Equestria if I'm to be honest.

At least I woke up in a rather nice place this morning and I could swear this bed was bigger than my entire kitchen corner and I have no idea what the fabric even was. Not silk and not cotton. In any case it was soft as all hell.

It was almost like sleeping in layers of cloud.

It was rather comfortable.

I didn't even get my horn stuck in the pillow which was rather nice... but I could not help but feel really out of place. Even back on Earth, I was not overly much for this kind of luxury.

Being comfortable was one thing, but this just felt... excessive. Not a huge fan of marble floors either, they make so much noise when you walk on them and they are 'cold'.

Page, signing off.

PS: I admit that the breakfast was really rather nice and I would really not mind having that every morning.


Rubbing my forehead just beneath my horn, I exited the castle grounds, the guards closing the gate behind me.

Damn, I was still feeling groggy and I didn't even drink anything last night. Still, I was up till at least three in the morning so it's expected... and for some stupid reason I woke up at like eight and now it was getting close to ten.

I'm just going to go home and curl up in bed with a book and do nothing today. Some Daring Do, perhaps. It was rather more for young adults, but it was about as complex as I felt today.

Yawning, I adjusted the bags across my back before starting towards one of my favorite stores. Lately I had not really been able to afford to visit very often, but today required donuts. As many as I would need to not cook a thing today.

Because today... fuck effort.

Pushing inside, past the door, I yawned again before my yawn froze. What in the...

The largest booth of the place was filled with sleeping mares of all the subraces sleeping on the couches, leaning against each other, wearing really intricate dresses.

In the middle of it all, Celestia was sitting in the pile of mares, somehow managing to seem regal even as she happily munched away at a doughnut held before her in her magic.

“Princess.” I finally said with a slight bow, “Good Morning.”

“Good morning, Blank Page. Did you sleep well?”

“Uhm... yes. Just a bit less than I would have liked.”

She looked quite amused at that, “Did my sister keep you up?”

“Yes, as a matter of fa...” I started to answer before my eyes widened in realization as something clicked in my head and I pointed my hoof at her, “It's been you!”

She was the one that started that rumor!

Celestia blinked in surprise, taking another bite of her donut, looking quite innocent, “It's been me that's done what?”

But to actually accuse her of it would just solidify it in peoples minds... and I could be wrong.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, “Never mind, Princess. Enjoy your donuts...” I mumbled and turned to walk over to the counter, “A box of donuts, please. Mix it up.”

“Sure thing.” The light brown unicorn known as 'Joe' behind the counter said with a nod and a tired smile, quickly starting to put it together.

...Were those the element bearers?

I glanced at the mares around Celestia. Hmm. I might not be versed in fashion... even earth fashion... but even I could tell that those dresses were very finely made custom jobs. They didn't match anything I had seen so far.

Wonder if I can guess who is carrying what element?

Magic have to be one of the unicorns... but was it purple or white? Difficult to say... but the purple one was leaning against Celestias side and I had heard the bearer of the element of magic was her student. Twilight Sparkle.

Purple is magic then.

Laughter then... I'll have to go with the pegasus with rainbow hair. Looked a bit clownish to me and it was the closest I could get. Luna might smack me for that one though.

Kindness. Hmm, I'll go with the pink earth pony there with the balloon cutiemark. Who don't like balloons?

Honesty might be the white unicorn if you went by her cutiemark there. Nothing more honest than a reflection and those were gems.

Not sure about the last two. Loyalty and generosity didn't feel like it lined up with either of them from looks.

Shaking my head, I put a handful of bits on the counter as I fitted my box of donuts into my pack. I was likely completely wrong, but I'll find out sooner or later, I guess, if I keep hanging around Luna. I'm bound to run into them again at some point.

“Enjoy your morning, Princess.” I said with a small bow as I turned to the door.

“You as well, my little pony.”

Chapter 19

Day 226


Okay, I'm calm now. I'm calm. And I'd better never let her read that. I still can't believe she did that. She KNEW I didn't want to borrow the bits to have my book published if I couldn't get a publisher to pick it up.

And what happens? I wake up this morning to a knock on my door to have ten first edition books delivered. The rest of the five thousand books are sitting in storage, waiting for my go-ahead to be delivered to the bookstores all around.

I can't believe she did that! She even had a cover made (It's even close to something I would have picked myself)! I don't even know if I should go yell at her or if I should kiss her.

In any case, I better wait a couple of days before I visit the castle next time.

If I go right now I'm pissed enough that I might do both.

Page, Out.


“Hey! Page! Wait up!”


I glanced back, spotting a dark blue unicorn cross the street, avoiding an earth pony pulling a cart full of furniture.

“What is it, Swift?” I asked as I stopped.

He gave me a strange look, “Wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?”

I took a slow breath and then shook my head, “...Sorry. Kind of in a bad mood.”

He raised a eyebrow, “Why, I thought you finally got your book published? I think I saw your book on sale. Or is that by a different Blank Page?”

I had given them the go-ahead to have them shipped to the bookstores. I might not like what she did, but I was not quite stubborn enough to let already printed books sit there and gather dust as I gathered the money to have a new edition printed.

“Didn't realize you could read.”

He snorted, “I might not be a author, but I enjoy the occasional book. Granted, it is mostly military fiction. Not a fan of that fantasy stuff.”

“Not everyone likes everything,” I answered with a shrug. “So what are you up to? Haven't seen you around for a while.”

Swift Spear grinned. “Got into the guard! Today is the first time in weeks they let us have a day off from training.”

I raised an eyebrow at that, “Really?” and started down the street again. “I would have expected you to been drunk of your hooves at a bar somewhere with your training buddies.”

“That comes tonight. We have until tomorrow evening to get back to the barracks. I want some part of this I will actually remember.”

“Figured. So how is training?”

He shrugged. “Tough. They expect us to keep up with Earth Ponies during runs. One lap around Canterlot every morning at five.”

I shuddered at the very idea. Five! That was not in the morning, that was still night!

“Yeah, I'm suddenly very, very glad I didn't try out.”

“Heh, like you would have passed the test with your accuracy.”

“Hey, I wasn't half bad with that staff,” I protested. “Should have made up for my awful accuracy.”

He shrugged as he walked along, “I'm better.”

“Well, I had never used one before. Did not your dad teach you since you managed to lift it?”

Swift chuckled, “Granted, you are not horrible with that in mind. Not good enough to make up for your inability to hit a house from the inside though.”

I just shook my head. Swift was a good guy, but he was cocky as hell. I didn't know much about military training, but I had heard enough about stuff back on Earth; no doubt they would knock that out of him. No doubt that they will work to do the same here.

“So, where are we going?” He continued.

“I normally visit a local cafe around this time for a cup of tea. You are, of course, welcome to join me.”

“Do you know you get a bit more formal when pissed about something?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, so what's up?

I shook my head, “Nothing.”

“Mare problems? Not much else gets somepony this riled up.”

I grunted in annoyance, “...In a way I suppose...”

“So who is it?”

“Nopony you know.”

That earned me a thoughtful look, “So it's not Princess Luna then, and there is another Blank Page I've heard rumors around the barracks about?”

I stopped and turned to face him, “Swift, leave it alone. And it's not what you and everyone else think.”

His eyes widened in shock, “Dude! It's true!? You are really bedding the Princes-”

He didn't get any further before I slammed my hoof into his nose, causing him to stumble back onto his arse with a pained yelp.

“Any other comments of a similar nature?” I carefully asked, my eyebrows raised as I put my hoof back down.

Who the fuck was he to talk about Luna that way!?

Swift winced and touched his nose, checking if it was bleeding or broken before he shook his head, “No... I think I'm done,” he finally answered before taking my hoof as I offered it, pulling him back onto all fours. “Sorry, just surprised. I didn't mean it like that. Not often that rumors of that nature turn out to be true, and I didn't expect you to actually hit me.”

“Neither is this one. We are friends, nothing else,” I grumbled and started down the street again, ignoring his opinion of my martial prowess. “Look, I'm sorry for striking you. I overreacted. Come on, let's get some tea.”

“Do they have coffee? Never liked tea,” he asked, touching his nose again as he trotted along.

Heretic. Why am I friends with this guy again?

“It's a cafe, you figure it out.”

Chapter 20

“Blank Page to see the Princess.” I said and stopped outside her door.

The guards looked at me passively for a moment before the right one nodded and pulled the door open for me, letting me inside.

Walking past him, I let the door swing closed behind me. The room was empty, not that it surprised me as the Moon had been rising when I entered the tower so she was likely out on the balcony.

As annoyed with her as I was, I knew better than to bother her then. Instead, I dropped my bag on one of the chairs and walked over to check out her bookshelf.

I was still not sure if I was going to yell at her or...

“Page, welcome.”

I turned my head, looking back at the Princess as she entered the room. “Luna,” I answered, turning to her. “Why?”

She stopped, looking a bit taken aback. “Why what?”

“What could have possibly compelled you to have my book published after I specifically refused to even borrow half of what I needed to do it!?”

Luna frowned. “I wished to help my friend. You did not wish to borrow the money and end up indebted to me. It is not a loan, it is a gift.”

I stared at her for a long moment. “Luna... having that many books printed alone would have cost over ten thousand bits. That's not even counting paying for the cover artwork and having it done quickly.”

“It is not a major sum for us,” she said hesitantly, one front hoof lifted off the floor. “...You do not like it?”

Groaning, I rested my forehead against the bookshelf... which was easier said than done when you are a unicorn, but I managed it.

“...I did, Luna. I just wish you had not done it,” I sighed and pulled back before I turned to her. “Thank you, but I wanted to do it on my own.”

She frowned sadly. “...We apologize. We did not realize.”

Damn it.

How could I be mad at her for wanting to help and having the ability to do so in a way that, for her, was basically trivial?

“I am thankful.” I sighed and walked over, jumping up to lay down on the couch. “Annoyed, but thankful. How did you even manage to get the edited version of the draft? And how did you get such a good cover?”

“The publisher had it still,” she clarified. “As for the cover, you did show me the 'Star Wars' in your dreams. I... guessed. If you did not like it, it could be changed for the second edition.”

Yeah, sure. Like I would even sell all of the five thousand books printed. Oh well, worst-case scenario, I could always return all the unsold books to Luna.

That thought perked me up a bit.

Let's see how she likes it when she ends up with four thousand, nine hundred and twelve first editions of 'A New Hope'. I'll even sign them all for her so she would feel worse about throwing them away.

“Well, nobody can say you are not industrious when you wish to be.” I sighed, before I shook my head as she walked over to the table, pouring herself a cup of tea.

“You should relax, Page. It is a good book, it will sell.”

I sighed. “No offense, Luna... but your literary preferences is a thousand years out of date.”

She gave me an amused look, “Dreams and stories 'are' part of my realm of powers, Page. I can tell a good story from a bad one; both the original and your new adaptation are good stories.”

“Well, just don't get your hopes up too much. Just because a story is good doesn't mean people will buy it.”

Or that it's well written.

I was starting to think my life here would be a lot less complicated without interfering Princesses... and now that I thought about it...

“You know the rumor going around the castle?” I asked a moment after Luna sat down on one of the chairs, sipping on her liquid sugar.

She raised her eyebrows. “Hmm? Which one?”

...Which one do you think?

I gave her an annoyed look. “The one about you and me, Princess.”

“Ah, that one.”

“I have reasons to believe that your sister started it...” I said and shifted in annoyance. “I have no solid proof though.”

Luna looked thoughtful and sipped at her beverage again. “...Now considering it, it does sound like something my sister would do. At times she can be a bit of a prankster... preferably those that can in no way be tracked back to her,” she slowly said, putting her cup down on the table. “Celestia is quite a skilled politician and I know from experience... on both sides... that she is a menace on the battlefield, coming up with tactics nopony else has ever considered before. It seems to me that during the thousand or so years I was in exile, she had channeled those impulses into other matters. Not that she was not a bit of a prankster when we were growing up.”

I raised an eyebrow at that. “...Could she not get a hobby other than messing with people?”

Luna just smiled.

“When is her birthday? I'll get her a model airship to build or something.” I finally sighed, resting my side against the backrest of the couch.

That brought a laugh out of the Princess. “She would quite enjoy that, I believe.”

Chapter 21

A drop hit my nose and I crossed my eyes before licking it clean. Chocolate milk.

What the hell?

Raising my head I peered up at the sky. Not seeing anything but some pinkish clouds. Shaking my head, I continued towards the publishing office.

Stupid pegasi could at least put a lid on it if they are going to fly around with their drinks.



I had just enough time to look up before the rain started to pour down and I scrambled into cover by the building. It was not meant to rain until this afternoon!

...Wait, that's not..

I licked my nose again. Chocolate Milk.

It was raining chocolate milk. I spent a long moment goggling at the brown rain. What the fuck were they smoking in Cloudsdale and where could I get some?

Ponies were panicking all around me, running for cover before staring at the strange weather with me.

You would think that after the better part of a year on this world that I would be used to everything, but this was new.

Say what you want about tornadoes and unplanned weather back on earth, but at least it don't rain chocolate.

Feeling sorry for whoever had to clean this up before it started to smell, I started to dodge between covers.

I still had a meeting to attend and hopefully find out exactly how many of those things had sold.


My eyes were still wide with shock when I stepped out of the office building a couple hours later. The books had sold out.

All five thousand of them. At a price of twelve bits each. Half of which that went into my account thanks to Luna having paid for everything in getting them printed and only the retailers getting a cut.

I was fucking rich. I was filthy rich in fact.

I had given the go ahead to print out another five thousand books which would take some of the money, but I would have plenty left.

What in the world am I going to...

A herd of pony sized rats with houseplants riding them, wielding eels rode past, chasing a acorn running for his life, waving a flag with an elephant on it.


The sun zipped down behind the horizon, only to be replaced by the moon.

I took a step back, blinking in the sudden darkness. What the fuck!?

The moon did a little circle dance and then zipped back down, the sun rising again, this time from the north.


The moon and sun both shot into the sky and were now dancing... was that a tango?

Too stunned to do anything but step forward and look up at the spectacle, I tripped over my own feet. The cobblestone street was as soft as a pillow and I hit it face first. It smelled blue.

Lifting my head off it I wondered if this was what a stroke felt like before I noticed that all other ponies around had just as much difficulty, looking panicked as they stuck close to the walls or heading inside to hide.

It suddenly went dark, the sky turning bright white as the black stars seemed to suck in the light from the ground.

Were Luna and Celestia...

No. No Luna would not do that.

I laid there considering that for a moment as it started to rain chocolate rain from the street up to the clouds.

It had happened once... but no. No, I could not see Luna doing that again... and this didn't seem like a battle, more like...

...okay, who the fuck slipped the God-Princesses LSD!? This was way to chaotic for it to be anything else!

I briefly considered the idea to try to get to the castle, but I quickly put that out of my mind as the cobblestones turned from soft to balloons and floated into the sky, leaving me laying on the dirt turned soap underneath it.

Quickly scrambling out of the way and back into the building, I just about managed to avoid a ice skating octopus.

There was no way I would be able to reach the castle. All I could do was find a corner that seemed safe and hope somepony found a way to unfuck the world.

The fern at the other side of the room turned into cotton candy and started laughing at me.

Chapter 22

“AHHHH!” I fell down towards the floor from the ceiling as gravity reversed again and sank into it like it was a massive marshmallow before returning to the surface.

Trying to get my breath back, I scrambled to get back into my corner. The inside of the entrance went dark as the sun sank down again. Moments later, it popped back up.

I just kept my eyes closed and pressed against the wall, hoping it would just... stop.

It was the most terrifying time in my life and that includes a pissed off goddess and waking up with no hands in an alien body.

Hours passed, it seemed, but it was difficult to say. Night and day changed quickly, seemingly at random intervals as I cowered in the corner.

I just felt so completely... helpless. There was nothing I could do.

No way to know if my friends were safe, if there even was such a thing anymore. Reality just kept shifting.

Suddenly a... barrier of light flashed through the room and the potted plant in the opposite corner turned back from cotton candy to plant and it stopped telling bad standup jokes in what sounded like Finnish and laughing at me... and everything went quiet.

The light was steady, the sun sitting high in the skies above.

Slowly and warily, I uncurled from my corner and looked around. Nothing but the sound of the wind outside.

What just happened?

Shakily getting back to my hooves, I checked myself over. I could have sworn I had wings and not a horn for a couple of minutes there. Four wings even, and I could have equally have sworn I had scales at some point.

Now... horn was back on my head. No wings. Four legs and I was brown again, not pink.

Oh thank Luna I'm not pink anymore. Everyone would have laughed their arses off. If there is one color I can not pull of, it's pink.

I was slightly disappointed I didn't stay human, though, but at least I was back in unicorn form and not some other abomination of magic.

Taking a careful step forward, I looked around once more. Nothing tried to eat me, gravity stayed where it was and the sun didn't move either.

So I carefully exited the building. The sun was shining high in the sky and the cobblestone was back where it used to be. No giant rodents or squids roaming around.

Just ponies slowly emerging from the buildings along the street, looking around much the same as I was.

Sticking close to the wall, I headed over to a red pegasus just emerging from the next door over. “Any idea what just happened?”

She shook her head, said; “N-no.” and swallowed, looking around. “But... it seems to be over? I-I'm going to check at the castle.”

“We can hope.” I agreed, nodding and thought about heading for the castle as well for a moment, before I shook my head and instead started to make my way home - quickly.

I wanted to know what the flying fuck just happened and why the universe was tripping balls for almost an entire day.

As worried as I was for my friends... Luna. Swift... hell, Celestia and everyone else as well. Something horrible had just happened and I had no way to know if any of them were okay.

I just had to trust that they were.

I wanted nothing more than to rush to the castle, see if Luna was alright...

But everyone would be busy and the last thing Luna needed right now was me distracting her with questions, and if they had any brains I would just get turned away by the guards at the gates in any case. I suspected half the population of the city was heading for the castle right now for answers and I didn't want to add to it.

Reaching my home, I got myself up the stairs to my tiny apartment. Unlocking the door I entered and was about to collapse on the bed when there was a knock on the door.

...Who in the world... There is no way in fucking hell I'm getting mail half an hour after the fucking apocalypse.

Whatever it was, it must have been important.

So I crawled out of bed and unlocked the door before peering outside, seeing a dark-furred pegasus wearing the armor of Lunas personal guard, the enchantment making his pupils slitted and his wings looking like those of a bat.

“Blank Page?” he asked, holding up a scroll.


“Princess Luna wishes to know if you are unhurt.”

She is alright!! ...Damn it, Luna! Focus on getting the world unfucked!

“I am. If somewhat disturbed... what can you tell me about what happened?”

He grimaced and scraped his right hoof on the wooden floor. “The chaos spirit known as Discord escaped its prison and went on a rampage before the Elements of Harmony were finally able to return it to stone.”

Chaos spirit?


“Would this Chaos spirit happen to be a long, snakelike being with the limbs of several different creatures?”

The guard looked surprised. “Yes... how did you know?”

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! This is why you don't have your defeated enemies turned to stone and displayed in your fucking garden!

“I saw it when it was in prison. Before its escape.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my hoof. “You can tell the Princess that I'm alright. Other than that I'll likely have some brand new nightmares to try out in the future. And possibly never eat cotton candy ever again.”

And she'd better have those under hoof. It was their stupid fault this happened so she could damn well clean those up. I had enough shit going on in my life as it was.

“I believe she will be relived to hear that, Sir.” he said with a nod. “With your permission, I'll deliver the message and return to my duties.”

I shook my head. “Go. And tell her that she should not have wasted time on sending you in the first place! There are far more important things going on.”

He winced. “I don't believe she will like that.”

“I don't care if she likes it, it's the truth! Now go do something actually important!”

“Yes, sir!”

I hesitated for a moment as he turned away. “Wait! Tell her... tell her I'm glad she is alright. I was really worried.” I finally said, lowering my head.

The guard smiled and gave me a nod at that. “I will, sir.” before he quickly trotted down the stairs.

Chapter 23

I sighed, “I'm just glad you are okay.” and smiled up at the Princess.

She nodded with a small smile, letting go of the hug to drop back down on all four as I did the same, “I was worried about you as well, Page. Discord caused chaos all across Equestria and likely most of the rest of the world. Even so, most of his attention was focused on the Element Bearers as they were the only real threat. How did you fare during the time of chaos?”

Sitting down, I shrugged slightly, “I was out at the time. I spent most of the time cowering in a corner, being laughed at by a houseplant.” I admitted, “Not the bravest thing in the world.”

Luna smiled and put her hoof on my shoulder, “But the wise thing to do. There was nothing you could have done.”

“I hated it. I felt so... powerless.”

She sighed, “As did I. The Elements are the only way to keep Discord under control and... it was a close thing. We were lucky.”

I really didn't like that idea, “What happened to him?”

“Turned back to stone. We considered your words when you saw his statue before and he is now in a much safer location.” Luna said and lowered her hoof again, “Where he will remain.”

“Good to hear.” I said before giving her a curious look, “...What was he like?”

Luna shook her head, “Mad. Completely crazy and full of power unbound.”

Laying down in the grass, I watched a tree walk by, “Honestly, his effects seemed to remind me of my stranger dreams.”

Luna smiled at that, shifting to lay down next to me, “They do have a similar quality to them at times.” she admitted, running her hoof along the grass, “First time I entered your dreams, it was what they reminded me of. Humans are very... chaotic beings. Pony dreams are usually more ordered.”

“We can be.” I admitted, “A wise man once said that there is a thin line between genius and madness. Humanity's ability to think is what made it possible for us to conquer our world. Sometimes I think... all humans might be sitting on that line, carefully keeping our balance. A small push and you might fall down. But who would know what side you end up on?”

Luna frowned, “If that is true, it is a wonder you managed to remain sane through all that happened to you.”

I shook my head in amusement, “Who said I did? Because I'm pretty sure a sane human would not be able to accept being a pony.”

That earned me a ear bite.


“You are not insane. We know insane and you are not it.” Luna stated firmly before letting go and looking thoughtful, “For a human, anyway I assume. For a pony, your mind is a bit unusual and strange. Even beneath your lighter dreams, I can feel a dangerous current under the surface. It somewhat remind me of the times when I touched the dreams of gryphons and dragons.”

I hmmed at that, “Might be the predator thing.”

“That is quite possible.”

I relaxed on the grass before I raised my head again, “...can you show me Discord? I want to see it.”

Luna looked slightly concerned before she nodded, “I can show you a dream image of the creature. It will not be real.”

“Please. I just want to hit it in the face for what it did and it's not like I will be able to do it to the real one.”

That brought a chuckle from the Princess before her horn flashed, causing a dragon like being with the limbs of different creatures to pop into existence. No two limbs were from the same species, even it's eyes and horns were mismatched.

“Ah Loony! There you are!” It chortled, flowing over to us before disappearing in a flash of light, reappearing curling around Lunas horn, “I am so sorry I didn't have much time for you.”

I just gaped at it, my brain coming to a screeching halt. That voice. That flash when he used his powers.

Surging to my hooves I glared at the being as it slid off of Lunas horn like it was melting before poofing out of existence again, only to reform on my back, wearing a cowboy outfit.

“Q! You motherfucker!” I yelled and threw it off. The dream answered to my call and a anvil slammed into him from above, smashing him to bits that faded away.

“Page?” Luna asked carefully, “What are you doing?”

“Q! I know that voice anywhere!”

Luna frowned as she sat up, “You have met Discord?”

I let out a breath and shook my head, “...No. But that voice, it can't be a coincidence.” I said before I sat down, “There is a fictional being on one of my favorite shows. That flash of magic, that voice... they are identical. Even their personalities seem similar. There is no way that is a coincidence.”

The Princess was now sitting up and paying close attention, “Are you certain?”

“I... No.” I finally said and shook my head, “But they seem so similar. But the Q from the show didn't do things just to cause chaos. He always wanted something or to teach a lesson. It was never... chaos for chaos's sake.”

She slowly nodded, “Can you show me?”

I nodded and closed my eyes, focusing to give us a couch to lay on. Day switched to night, and a big screen TV, a large bowl of popcorn and a couple soda bottles appeared nearby,.

“How about we just watch some Star Trek? That way we will see Q as well?”

“What is this 'Star Trek'?” Luna asked and reached for the popcorn, putting it between us as we jumped onto the couch.

“One of my favorite TV shows from back home. Hopefully my memory managed to save all of it, even if I don't remember the details on my own.” I explained and reached for the remote with my magic, “Some of the fans back home would likely try to skin me alive for this, but we are skipping the Original series for now. You wanted to see Q, so how about we start with Star Trek: The Next Generation. Encounter at Farpoint. It is both the first episode of the series and the first one featuring Q.”

Luna nodded and settled down again, smiling, “Very well. You are the expert.”


Day 253... I think.

It's a while since I last wrote, mainly because the book had escaped from me. I finally found it hiding in the back of my cupboard behind a sack of hay. Thought I had lost it.

As to why it was missing... Well, there will be better historical records by the time this is read, I suppose, so I'll just keep things short.

There was a... containment loss... of a chaos spirit, Discord. It was a rather uncomfortable experience, but at least for now he has been turned back to stone by the element bearers.

That's two monsters they have defeated now. Nightmare Moon and Discord.

At least Luna has it stuffed away deep down in a dungeon or something this time instead of being displayed in the garden. Who the hell thought that was a good idea in the first place!? His magic caused all kinds of problems, among others apparently causing this journal to grow legs and run and hide.

I could at least understand that sentiment. That's what I did.

Anyway, now that Discord is back to being stoned, Equestria is once again safe. He reminded me a lot of Q actually, Luna showed him to me in a dream.

If he had not been in stone and Q not being real(in my home universe at least), I might have suspected he was behind me ending up here. It seemed like something he would have done.

Besides, there is no way I could see him not showing up to gloat when he had the opportunity, so he likely didn't have anything to do with it.

On a more personal note, I have been busy as all hell since my last entry. My book sold like crazy and I have been working on Empire, but it's slow work. At this rate, it will be over a year until I'm ready to send it to be edited.

Fucking hell, I didn't want fame!

Swift finds it amusing as hell and is more than happy to play it up when I'm accosted by a couple of cute mares.

At least one of us finds it fun.

Okay... accosted is stretching it quite a bit and I'm exaggerating. It only happened once. People have just started recognizing my name from time to time. I'm just not used to this kind of attention. I'm not sure I like it.

The rumors about me and Luna were bad enough but at least those are slowly dying down. She was right about that, ignore it and it will go away.

But I feel like I'm complaining a lot here considering how much I'm being paid for the whole thing.

Page, signing off.

Chapter 24

“Thank you, Silver,” I said as the light blue pegasus with the red mane put the tray down on the table outside her father's cafe, before picking the cup up with her hoof and transferring it over to the table in front of me.

She smiled and picked the tray up with her teeth, transferring it under her right wing. “You're welcome, Page,” she spoke up happily.

That had taken some getting used to. Because really, unless you were a unicorn, your mouth was the only practical way to manipulate objects if you needed to move around at the same time. Well, pegasus had their wings, but they didn't have the dexterity to be used for that kind of thing. Not practically anyway.

“Uhm...” she said after a short moment, sounding a bit unsure. “...You are the Blank Page that wrote 'A New Hope', right?”

I sipped at my tea before I nodded. “Yeah, it's me,” I admitted. “Have you read it?”

She beamed at me. “I did! I just finished it last night, it was great!”

I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. “Glad you liked it.”

“It was rather more violent than most books I read, but it was good. The scene when Sky Walker got back to the farm... it almost had me in tears,” she admitted, scraping her hoof against the stone. “And the part when the island blew up the city...”

“I am working on the sequel,” I told her. “But it's slow work... I wouldn't expect it for another year at least.”

Wonder how she would react to the reveal of Darth Vader's real identity.

It was a honor really, to introduce a new world to that kind of surprise. And to spare them the pain of the prequels. There were to be three books, no more, no less. At least I wouldn't give them the 'original' prequels, 'I hate sand' In-fucking-deed.

“I can't wait!” Silver Leaf exclaimed before she hesitated. “...Could you...?”

Smiling, I nodded my head. “Go get it.”

She squeaked and then rushed off, heading into the back of the cafe. I was not really a fan of this kind of thing, as I didn't like the attention.

But Silver Leaf had been friendly to me since I first set hoof in this cafe and she was always so... cheerful and happy about life in general.

It made me feel better, if just for a little while.

You would almost think I was getting used to live in Equestria. And in a way I was... I more or less knew how things worked and I had a way to make a living now that I liked. Somehow it was easier for me to write now than it ever was before.

I suspected it had something to do with the magical butt tattoo, like it was amplifying my talents... but I was grateful for it, no matter how little I liked the fact that I was in pony form.

But that didn't change the fact that I simply didn't belong here. I missed things... internet, T.V., that I was never going to get to see the continuation of the Marvel movies. I even missed commercials at times.

Okay, that's a lie, I didn't miss those but I did miss hamburgers. Hayburgers simply were not the same thing.

Meat. Fuck, I miss meat... grilled, medium rare steaks. Sausages. Chicken!

But even if cows didn't talk here, I likely could not eat those anymore. This body couldn't handle it... or at least, I wouldn't dare try it.

...Fuck, at this point I would eat a fish! I dislike fish but right now, I would kill for some fucking fishsticks!

Actually, that might still be possible now when I considered it. Gryphons eat fish, I know that much. There is a small gryphon population in the city, they have to get it from somewhere.

I really had to check if ponies could eat fish. Luna would know and likely not freak out too badly about it.

I sipped at my tea. I had to admit that Equestria did have some things over Earth though. The vegetables were of better quality for one thing, and tasted better, though that might simply be because I was an herbivore now.

But even so, I would bet that there was better quality here. I blamed magic and 'special talents' for it.

I looked up as Silver returned, carrying the book in her mouth and putting it on the table with a nervous smile.

Digging into my satchel, I pulled out some ink and a quill before lifting the book up and inspecting the cover. It had a white furred pegasus on the cover, a blue sword of light in his mouth, and an earth pony in a dark vest wielding a crossbow next to him.

Flipping the cover open, I picked the quill up before I wrote, 'To Silver Leaf, for making my days a little brighter. Blank Page' and handed it back. “How's that?”

The pegasus smiled with a small blush. “It's brilliant. Thank you.” She giggled shyly, holding the book to her side with her wing. “I-I should stop bothering you. Thank you again!” She quickly added as she picked the tray back up.

“No problem.”

She headed off back to the counter as another customer entered and I returned to my own tea, my smile quickly slipping as I sipped at it.

I'm starting to think I have a small depression or something. Or I might simply be homesick.

I considered that for a moment before I snorted. Bah!

Next thing you'll know, I'll color my mane black and start listening to Nightwish or something.
Fuck that shit, this is a world with magic and I can use it. Badly, but still!

I may be stuck here, but I can still explore and learn.

Finishing my tea, I shrugged my bag on and headed out, giving Silver a wave on the way. To the library and then the range. I will tame my magic if it's the last thing I ever do.

My horn will be the one to pierce the heavens!

Chapter 25

Day 300

I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!!



Day 301

I just realized that my previous entry might have been somewhat lacking in detail. I finally managed to figure out this entire aiming thing. I had been doing it all wrong!

It had little to do with the direction of my actual horn, it was as much 'willing' the spell to hit the target than aiming at it. I felt like such a idiot!

I really should have stuck around magical kindergarten longer. I bet that kind of information is revealed there.

It's such a cool feeling! I'm still all giddy about it.

Now I just need to figure out some better spells and I have started on shields. It's really, really difficult though, but I have seen some other unicorns use them when it's fucking raining so they should not be 'THAT' difficult.



“Well?” The Princess of the Night asked with a smile and I focused before firing off my spell, blowing the apple off the railing of her balcony from all the way over by the couch.

Settling down on the couch I couldnt help but grin, “Told you. Getting better.”

She smiled and nodded, “So I see.” as she looked over where the apple had been sitting, “Perhaps even good enough to join the guard if you wished. I have seen worse, even among older unicorns that had their magic their entire lives.”

“I try. It's difficult.”

“Page, Magic or even specific parts of magic is not part of your special talent. You are doing quite well.” Luna said with a smile before she shook her head, “...and speaking of special talent...” she continued and got up from her chair with a flick of her tail before walking out onto the balcony.

The sun was almost behind the horizon and she waited until the last rays of light dissipated before she lowered her head and spread her wings wide, seemingly bracing her hooves against the floor. Her horn lighted up in a bright silver light that shone without being blinding before she started to slowly raise her head and as her horn raised, the moon rose above the horizon, moving like it was connected to the tip of her horn.

Beauty. Beauty and power.

It was the only words that came to mind.

A thousand years ago, she turned to the darkness and dark magics as ponies ignored her in favor of her sister. They ignored her night and her in favor of the sun.

I didn't understand how that could happen. As nice as it was to relax in the grass on a warm summers day, it had nothing on the beauty of the night sky, stars sparkling like diamonds on dark, almost black blue velvet, the moon turning the landscape to sliver.

Luna was as beautiful as the night she controlled.

Turning my attention away from the view, I focused on my fronthooves on the couch. I didn't want her to think I was staring at her. It felt rude.

The sound of hooves against stone caused me to look up again as she walked back inside, refolding her wings, “It's about time for my tea time with my sister. Would you want to join us?”

I blinked in surprise, “I don't want to interfere with your family time.”

Luna smiled, “I wouldn't mind even if it was just Celestia and I planned for today. But we are to have more guests today.”

I gave her a wary look as I sat up on the couch, “...This is not some kind of state dinner or diplomatic function is it?”

I had just barely dodged a bullet with that gala.

That brought a small laugh from her, “There is not. You have my word.”

“Then I'll be honored.” I finally said and jumped off the couch and followed her out and down the tower towards one of the other sections of the castle.

The guards went at attention every time we passed by. Now that's something that's even more difficult to get used to than walking around on all four.

Before ending up here, I didn't interact much with the social elite and quite frankly I was rather uncomfortable with it all.

On the upside, when I was with Luna, people paid a lot more attention to her than me!

A servant opened a door for us and I followed her into a rather posh looking chamber. The room was all gold, white marvel and expensive furniture that looked old but perfectly preserved. Above the couch there was a painting of a purple unicorn reading a book... laying on the same couch that was beneath the painting.

Huh. I recognized her, that's the one I think is the element of magic.

Twilight Sparkle.

Celestia entered from the other direction, talking quietly with her two companions. One was another unicorn, this one slightly taller than me and quite a bit more muscular. White fur and blue mane, a kind of shield as his mark.

The second one really pulled my attention. She was a alicorn like Celestia and Luna. Her fur a bright pink and her hair a pink, white and purple. Both wings and horn. I thought there was only two!

Like Sith!

...Luna would 'not' have liked that comparison.

Said dark blue unicorn smiled and walked up to them, leaving me to follow, “Cadence. It is good to see you again.”

“You as well, Luna.” the pink one answered with a smile before she looked at me and smiled wider, “And who is this?”

“Cadence, this is Blank Page. A friend.” Luna explained before she turned to me, “Page, this is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and her fiancee Shining Armor, Captain of the royal guard.”

I bowed to them, “Princess, Captain. A pleasure to meet you both.”

Seriously, everyone here outrank me by such a silly degree that it's getting ridiculous! I didn't have the training to interact in these circles!

Damn it, Luna! I thought you said it wasn't some sort of state visit!?

Chapter 26

I let out a small relieved sigh as I stepped out into the cool night. It might be getting towards summer again, but still not amazingly hot.

The nights were at least nice and cool, and that was something I really appreciated at this time.

“You seem uneasy.” Luna said as she exited along with me, frowning down at me.

Giving her an unhappy look, I shook my head, “I... would have appreciated a warning before ending up face to face with yet another royal.”

As it turned out, it was not actually a state visit. Princess Cadence was the princess of Love, not a actual physical place.

It was simply a personal visit. She was the adopted niece of Princess Celestia and nowhere near as old. She actually looked her age.

It didn't mean I liked being dropped in the middle of it though. I really wasn't used to socializing in these kind of circles.

Luna frowned, “...Sorry.” she apologized as we wandered through the garden, passing by where Discord had once stood. Now there was a statue of a frog in his place. “I didn't realize it would bother you.”

I stopped and eyed the frog before continuing along the path, walking along beside her, “It's fine. I'm just not used to this kind of thing.” I explained before I chuckled up at her, “Luna, everyone in that room outranked me so much I feel like I should have been getting a nosebleed.”

She looked a bit confused at that, “Nosebleed?” she asked hesitantly.

“An air pressure joke.” I said with a grin before I took a right turn off the path to collapse into the grass with a sigh, “Even so, I did feel rather out of place.” I admitted as I enjoyed the cool grass.

There was a ruffle of feathers and grass as Luna settled down next to me, “I believe you might be thinking of it wrong, Page.” she explained, “It was not you meeting a third princess and a captain of the royal guard. It was you meeting a relative of mine and her fiancee.”

I lifted my head from the grass and looked over at her where she way laying, next to me, looking at me in amusement.

“I suppose you have a point.” I admitted with a sigh, “But even so... a bit warning next time?”

She smiled at that, “As far as I know, there are only three Princesses in existence. So the situation is unlikely to come up again. But you did seem to enjoy yourself.”

When I stopped being nervous... or rather got less nervous... I started talking with Shining Armor. He found it interesting I was in the class for guardsmen but was annoyed that I used it as a sort of exercise and had no intention to actually join.

I'm not entirely sure how, but by the end we were discussing tactics for storming a building using sugar cubes to mark out the walls and cookies for ponies.

He was really rather good at it and was good at explaining. I think I did manage to surprise him a couple of times though, got to love growing up on action movies and real time strategy games. Also, they've not heard of flashbangs before, but I think he liked the concept.

I think the Princesses all found it rather amusing.

“Once I got used to it.” I agreed and rolled onto my back, looking up at the moon.

Luna chuckled and nodded, “Well, you better, I do intend to invite you to royal functions in the future. If only to have somebody else there I know and not just my sister.”

That caused me to look over at her in surprise, “You're going to start going to them?”

She shifted a bit uncomfortable, stretching her wings before folding them again before she shook her head, “Yes... and no. Not quite yet. I wish to become more accustomed to this world first, it would not due to cause an embarrassment.”

“Do you miss your world?” I asked carefully as I looked up at her. The last month her mane had started to become more animate. A bit more like her sister, sometimes it stirred despite there being no wind and it had started to darken, getting more sparkles, like stars in the night sky.

The Princess shifted again, this time to roll onto her back next to me, looking up at her moon, “This is my world.”

“You know what I mean.”

She sighed and for a long moment I didn't think she would answer before she finally spoke up, “...Sometimes. But I can see that it is much better now. Less tension, all of Equestria's neighbors are either peaceful or too weak to be a threat. There have been many hundreds of years of peace, the ponies of this age are much more innocent than back in my time. Celestia has been a good ruler.” Luna said quietly.

“Equestria does look like a really nice place.”

“Better than it used to be. I have looked at the history books, they make things sound a lot better than they were at times.”

I frowned at that. That was something that I did 'not' like. Forced to repeat history if you don't know it and all that. But I suppose history back home would be different for somebody that lived it as well. And it was not 'that' whitewashed.

There were plenty of wars written into the books I have read between the three tribes. Or subspecies as I liked to call them. And somehow I doubt Luna and Celestia's takeover had been as bloodless as it sounded in some of the books.

She had mentioned leading legions once.

I glanced to the side at her. Less... immortal moon deity and more Xena, warrior goddess, I suppose. Did I have a problem with that?

No. No I didn't.

I simply couldn't see either her or Celestia being cruel about it... and I did know the world they ended up with and it was a long time ago.

Equestria was a great and safe place to live. The people were happy, free and safe.

“Do you miss Earth?” Luna asked after a moments of silence.

Turning back to the skies, I considered that for a long moment before I nodded, “Yes, but not as a whole. I miss some things. Family, friends; The Internet, Books just don't measure up to the internet sometimes.” before I frowned, “And some things you don't want to hear about.”

Luna rolled onto her stomach to look down at me, “Such as?”

I groaned, “I just told you that you don't want to know.”

“Should not I be the judge of what I am to know and not to know?”

“Be it on your head then. I miss meat, perfectly grilled medium rare steaks.” I said, opening my eyes to look up at her.

“...Oh...” she finally answered, looking slightly queasy at that idea.

I chuckled, “Told you.” before I shook my head, “That's something I will never eat again. Even if cows were not thinking beings here, I'm a unicorn now. I can't eat meat.”

“It's easy to forget your previous species were omnivores.” Luna admitted and settled down again.

I nodded, “Mmm, I suspect that I'm having a easier time of going to only eating plants than a pony would have going to a more varied diet though.”

“Needless to say.” she agreed with a nod, “Gryphons and their fish is difficult enough for most ponies to accept. You may wish to keep that part of your past from most ponies.”

“Not like I'm telling everyone about it at all.”

I should most likely not mention to anyone, including Luna, that I had eaten horse in the past. Not that it was a favorite or anything, I preferred beef or pork. Or chicken.

We stayed silent for a while as I looked up at the moon before Luna spoke up again, “Page... you never talk about your family.” she said softly.

I swallowed and rolled onto my stomach, hesitating as I rubbed my right hoof at the grass, “It... hurts to remember, I'm never going to see any of them again.”

“It might help to talk about it.”

Taking a slow breath I nodded and started to talk. I told her about my mother and father.

My sister I never used to get along with until we stopped living under the same roof.

My friends I never really saw enough.

I wasn't sure when I started to cry, but it was just before Luna put her wing over my back and pulled me close, draping her neck across the back of mine in a sort of hug, letting me rest my head against the base of her neck as I leaned against her in return.

We stayed like that for a long time after I finished talking. My tears had stopped and dried when I finally spoke up again.

“...Thank you.” I whispered softly against her fur.

In response, she held me a bit tighter with her wing, “Thank you for trusting me.” she whispered back.

We stayed like that for what seemed like hours in comfortable silence before Luna let out a small giggle to herself, causing me to turn my head slightly to look at her.


“I just realized that being spotted like this is unlikely to help dissipate rumors about us.” she giggled.

I couldn't quite bring myself to care at the moment as I relaxed again.

Chapter 27

Day 365

A year. A full year in Equestria.


Well, I suppose it's not all bad, even if there have been plenty of scary moments. But I don't exactly feel like celebrating either.

But I'm not going to just curl up in bed. This is a day like any other. But I wish to do violence so I'll likely stop by the training yard and blast some dummies.



The staff whiffed past above my head, just brushing past my mane as I ducked out of the way, my own staff spinning by magic to my right before I lashed out even faster in return while the pegasus was unbalanced.

My own staff hit nothing but empty air as the pegasus launched himself into the air above my head, staff held in one hoof as he dove at me in a vertical blow.

Dropping my staff, I focused and formed a shield. The staff glanced off it, deflecting to the side. Not that it helped.

I cried out and took a step back. FUCKING HELL! It felt like I took that blow to my horn!

The shield collapsed as I rubbed my forehead.

The pegasus chuckled. “Screwed the shield up again?” he asked as he stood down. He dropped his own staff and let it lean against his side, held in place by his wing.

“...Yes.” I groaned and rubbed the base of my horn. “You have no idea how much that smarts, Cloud.”

Thunder Cloud grinned. “And some pegasi wonder what it would be like to have a horn. I know the answer to that... painful.”

“It wouldn't be if I wasn't crap.” I groaned and lowered my head, reaching to touch my horn again and let out a litany of curses.

I was up to the level needed to form a shield fast enough to be usable and strong enough to deflect stuff like that. But just because I could do it, didn't mean it did any bloody good.

If you screwed the spell up slightly, it might still block the blow, but it wouldn't isolate the energy directed into the shield. Instead it went straight into your magic and if I had a choice, I would prefer to be kicked in the balls. It wasn't dangerous, not unless you did something significantly more powerful that the simple practice shield I knew, but it hurt like all fucking hell.

Cloud winced at my cursing. “Better not let the Sarge hear that. Might get you kicked from the course.”

“It's cursing or throwing myself off the city to make it stop hurting.” I groaned and picked my staff off the ground with my right hoof, limping over to the stand and putting it back in its place. “But I figured that it would make an unnecessary mess.”

“You are really grim sometimes, you know that?” He chuckled and tossed his staff back into the stand as well, using his wing.

We were on one of the practice areas for the guard, the only one we had access to as participants in that pre-training course.

It didn't contain much, just some staves of different lengths and a couple of straw training dummies.

I had come here to practice my magic against the dummies, but Cloud was here and wanted to get some sparring time in so I volunteered.

Which I was now regretting.

“You would be grim too if you felt this.” I sighed and walked over to my waterbottle, uncorked it and taking a long swing.

“You managed the shield before that one at least.” the white-furred pegasus with the pale blue, almost white mane said as he flew over with a couple of flaps of his wings to land next to his own watersource.

I nodded and lowered the bottle in my hoof, slamming the cork back in place using my other one before I dropped back down on all fours. “It's about fifty/fifty if I'm in a hurry like that. I suppose that it would be better than a spear through me, but that's my magic scrambled for most of the day.”

At least being kicked in the balls was over faster. This headache would stay all day. At least it faded from 'glowing hot poker' to 'bad hangover' after a minute or so.

Lifting the cool bottle, I pressed it against my head right next to my horn. It didn't really help.

“Hey... sorry about that.”

I shook my head. “It was my stupid choice. I could have blocked with the staff but I thought I had it this time.” I sighed and continued; “But constantly getting my behind kicked by somebody who barely has his mark yet is even worse.”

At least the shield had stopped exploding on me. A couple of times while I was learning it, it outright blew up on me. Threw everything around me back a couple of meters and gave me a right kicking. Not enough to bruise, but it still hurt.

Cloud raised his eyebrows. “It is only a year until I can apply for the guard. And not like you are that much older than me.”

Even so. Getting my arse kicked my a sixteen year old was not exactly good for the ego. But just like Swift, this guy came from a military family. I think they had actually served in the royal guard for something like the last nine generations.

And he was really good already.

I myself, to the best of the ability of the doctors and magic experts, had decided that I was just about twenty years old when I arrived here. A bit younger than I was back home.

“Yeah, yeah.” I sighed and laid down in the shade of the building, watching a pair of actual guards, pegasi both of them, going through flight drills far above.

He might not wonder what it's like to have magic, but I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have ended up a pegasus instead.

It would have made stuff a lot harder, I would have to make do mostly with my hooves, but being able to fly would have made up a lot for that.

Alicorns really had the best of both worlds there.

While I had seen spells that could give you wings temporarily, they were really rather advanced. Would be years until I could manage something like that.

That was something I was looking forward to. But it was no wonder most unicorns don't bother with those, they were really advanced sounding... and by the time you could manage those, you already had the skill needed to teleport.

“I'm heading home, it's almost time for dinner. See you later, Page.”

“See you.” I answered as he took to the air.

I shook my head and struggled back onto my hooves. It was much better before Swift became so busy with guard training, then they could kick each other's arses instead of mine. Or at least Cloud could, I had not actually practiced with Swift for months.

Without thinking about it, I used my magic to reach for my bag and instantly regretted the decision as a spear of pain surged through my horn.


Chapter 28

I lounged on the couch, watching Luna fume over a thick book. So, seriously, she was one pissed off pony.

“This is ridiculous! How can the tax code have grown to fill an entire tome!?” she exclaimed, her ears folded back, her entire mane actually stirring more than its normal slight movement. It actually reminded me somewhat of her sisters right now.

Lowering my own book, a rather simple magic manual, I looked over at where she was sitting by her desk. “What was it before?”

“A simple ten percent tax for the entire population.”

I raised my eyebrows at that. “Well... I suppose that would be simpler. I'm not entirely sure that's fair to poorer ponies, however. Those ten percent might be what a poor pony requires to be comfortable while richer ponies could pay fifty percent without even really noticing.”

The Princess gave me an annoyed look, shaking the tome at me with her magic. “As that might be, that does not excuse five hundred pages of percentages, exceptions and exceptions to exceptions! There is a special tax on bread! Bread!!”

I couldn't quite help but agree with that. That did seem somewhat excessive.

She let out a frustrated sigh and dropped it back onto her desk with a thud. “I need to discuss this with 'Tia. There has to be some way to simplify this.”

Shrugging, I returned to my own book. “Don't ask me, I'm not an economist, I'm not even that good with numbers. And if I'll be honest, I'm pretty sure the tax code back home is even more complex.”

Luna gave the offending tome a glare before closing it, dropping it on the desk with a thud before she jumped off her chair. “Things were simpler in my time. Laws were simpler, taxes were simpler. Even the music was simpler!” she complained as she walked up to pick up an apple from a bowl on the table.

Closing my book, I just watched her as she took a bite from it.

“...But that world is never coming back.” she finished softly.

“No. We both have to adapt to this one.” I agreed.

If they had not figured out a way to get me back by now, they probably never would.

Sighing, Luna sat down on the floor, shaking her head. “...Sometimes I am unsure of who this is harder for. You or me.”

We stayed quiet for a moment before I chuckled. “Honestly? I think it might actually be harder for you. This world is rather different from mine, but you see parallels to how things used to be.”

She smiled faintly and shrugged. “Or the other way around. Like you said, at least some things are familiar for me.”

“There are some similarities to my own world as well.” I said with a grin, giving my own book a small wave. “Books, for one thing. Admittedly not about magical theory, but still.”

Luna chuckled and jumped onto the couch opposite to me, laying down facing me as she picked the book from my magic to read the title. “Elementary Transformations by Fire Cube.” she read aloud. “I have not read this one.”

“I think it's rather new.” I admitted. “I went to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns yesterday and got their book list for first year students. Honestly, I should have thought about that earlier.”

Not that it would have helped much, I could still barely do the basic exercises.

Luna nodded and idly flipped through it. “Tia always did enjoy teaching.” she said and smiled, “Seems like an informative tome.”

“So... going to go to the summer sun celebration?” I asked, flicking my ears as I looked up at her.

The Princess hesitated and then shook her head. “Not this year. I believe we might have caused enough disruption during the last one. We do not wish to scare ponies this year.” she admitted before smiling again as she noticed my frown and adding; “I know what you wish to say, Page. Do not waste your breath. I have made up my mind.”

I gave her an annoyed look at that, but didn't say anything.

She sighed. “...We have planned to make a public appearance in a month.” she admitted. “We wish to turn Nightmare Night from a time of horror to a feast and celebration of the stars.”

“...Are you sure that would work? That's an old tradition right?”

Luna nodded. “From the time of my... exile. Hence the name and why we wish to change it. It is not who I am. I don't want the ponies for fear me and it seems like the best time to start. And we will begin in Ponyville where we will apologize to the inhabitants.”

I wasn't that sure that would work. Traditions are difficult to change. But she did seem to know what she was doing most of the time and she did have thousands of years of experience on me.

Chaos spirit containment not withstanding.

She frowned. “You look dubious. You don't believe they will see me as Princess Luna rather than Nightmare Moon?”

I quickly shook my head. “It's not that, Luna. If they can't see that, they are blind. It's rather the tradition itself. I don't know what they do on Nightmare Night, but I do know that traditions are difficult to change. Especially those that lasted as long as Nightmare Night, if it has indeed gone on since your exile.”

Luna looked thoughtful at that. “You may have a point.” as she shifted on the couch. “As I understand it, the tradition is dedicated to hiding from and appeasing Nightmare Moon. I have not yet experienced it myself... Last time I was not ready.”

“...I was not exactly paying attention either last time.” I admitted with a shrug before I smiled.

“Would you like to join me?” She asked with a smile. “Perhaps seeing somebody by my side who is not afraid will help.”

I couldn't help but smile back despite how little I liked this entire public thing. If she wanted me there, I would be. Besides, it might be fun.

“I would like that.”

Luna nodded and flipped open my magic book again. “Let's see what this book is teaching you. Perhaps I can give you some pointers.”

Chapter 29

Reaching out, I took the bottle in my hoof and took a sip from the strong apple cider. I preferred pear to be honest, but this was nice.

Real crisp and fresh, also quite strong. I knew better than to gulp it down. I made that mistake once when I was younger.

Not that I actually remember it. Just the aftermath.

That was embarrassing.

So I kept myself at a comfortable buzz.

I gave Cloud a poke with my hoof. He neither moved nor lifted his head from the table; the pegasus was out like a light.

I'm not entirely sure how he managed to even get his hoof on some cider as they didn't sell to minors. But he was almost an adult, so I was not going to take it away from him. Better he learn this lesson safely anyway.

“I thought we were not allowed to sleep?” I asked Swift, who was sitting on one of the other chairs around the table. “Could I have been asleep right now?”

The blue unicorn mare leaning against his side giggled. “No, you couldn't! You HAVE to be awake for the Summer Sun Celebration!”

Swift nodded, taking a swing of his cider. “Minuette is right. Can't sleep this night, it's tradition.”

I hid a yawn at that, looking around the square. The bars and clubs around it had all set up tables and chairs all across it for the celebration, lights were hanging between the trees and there was a band playing on-stage at the other end of the square by the dance floor.

Personally, I would have slept instead, but Swift would have none of it.

I was also not entirely sure how he ended up with Minuette by his side. She wasn't there when he dragged me (literally) out of my apartment. I had planned to spend the evening relaxing, getting some writing and reading done while enjoying some cider as it was the season.

But nope.

Anyway, I don't think they knew each other earlier either. Well, good for him I guess.

“Should we try to wake Cloud up?” I asked with a raised eyebrow, sipping at my cider again.

Swift laughed. “I don't think we could. No, let him sleep. He will enjoy tomorrow enough as it is.”

Nodding, I looked around before I perked up and had a great idea. It was tradition!

...Damn it! I forgot my satchel with my quill and ink back home! “Anyone have a magic marker?”

Minuette tilted her head in curiosity. “A what?”

“A... actually, never mind.” I sighed and gave the sleeping pegasus a glare. Stupid universal shift. I couldn't even draw a dick on his forehead.

“Oh! There is Twinkleshine! I'll be right back!” Minuette exclaimed and jumped out of her chair, disappearing into the crowd.

I looked after her before turning back to Swift Spear. “Where did you even find her?” Hell, even I could see she was good looking, even if her personality seemed to be somewhat... blonde.

He grinned, “Dance floor. You should try it.”

Like I don't have enough problems. “I'm pretty sure me dancing would cause a national emergency, not attract mares,” I grumbled.

Not that I was really interested in trying in any case. Things were fucked enough without making things even more difficult for myself.

“Having seen you fight, I can believe it.” Swift chuckled and took a sip of his cider.

I almost felt like throwing the bottle at him but I sighed instead. “When's Sun up?”

He shrugged. “Another couple of hours,” Swift said before looking down into his bottle. “The cider is gone. Where did all the cider go?”

I just facehoofed.


The crowd shuffled around me and I looked up at the stage with the rest, the stars shimmering far above as the Moon slowly lowered opposite the stage.

As the Moon started to get close to the horizon behind us, the crowd started to go silent. I didn't pay too much attention as I followed the Moon with my eyes.

Moving faster than the Moon did back home, spending most of the night in zenith, the rise and setting took only half an hour in total. Same with the Sun.

As the Moon finally sank behind the horizon, Celestia slowly walked onto the stage. Climbing onto the marble platform from behind, her long rainbow-like mane flowing to the side as if underwater, the sky gradually started to glow behind her.

Her eyes were closed but her steps were sure as she strode to the middle of the platform where she stopped, standing still for a moment.

The crowd was completely silent and it felt like nobody was even breathing.

Suddenly, her wings spread out and her horn lit up like a beacon as she opened her eyes. They shone like stars as the Sun started to rise behind her, seemingly filling the entire horizon.

As the star started to rise, she rose with it, perfectly outlined in the middle of the star as it flowed along the horizon to form behind her as a perfect sphere. All you could see of her, was her silhouette against the light and her glowing eyes.

I lost my breath at the sight.

She rose with the Sun another fifteen or so meters before she slowly slipped from it's 'grasp', floating back down onto the marble platform below.

The Sun went back to it's normal light, shrinking down into it's smaller form and growing brighter until we could not longer look at it, by the time her hooves touched down on the platform.

Celestia didn't say a word. She simply folded her wings again.

Nothing moved or even breathed for a second before the entire crowd erupted into cheers loud enough to cause my ears to fold back against my head.

It was not until several seconds had passed that I realized I was also cheering. Goddess or Princess or not, she knew how to put on a show.

Ra, scoot over. There is a new Sun goddess in town. And I'm pretty sure she would kick your arse.

Chapter 30

I kept my eyes closed tight, pressed against the padded floor of the cart, trying my best to ignore the whistling wind and not to hyperventilate.

“I apologize.” Luna said, patting my back with her hoof. “With your interest in flying machines, I did not realize that you were afraid of heights.”

“I'm not!” I ground out, pressing down against the floor. “I'm afraid of hitting the ground at terminal velocity!”

“How is this different from my balcony? You have no problem with that.”

Forcing my eyes open, I looked up at her, said; “That had a railing!” and pointed forward to the open front of the cart being pulled through the night by four batponies. “And was not flying through the air!”

“The carriage is enchanted. You can not fall out of it unless you try.” Luna easily said over the sound of the wind. “You are safe.”

“Easy for you to say, you have wings.”

Luckily, the trip was not long. Less than a hour after we left Canterlot, I noticed the carriage starting to descend, heading back towards the ground and I forced my eyes open again to see a gathering of buildings below, lit up by glowing lights in the trees and what seemed like a market set up.

Taking a slow, deep breath, I struggled up to sit up again. This was important to Luna and if they thought that I was cowering next to her, it would ruin the effect.

“Luna, I still think we should have arrived earlier today, talk to the people in charge...”

“Nonsense!” she exclaimed. “I wish to meet the ponies, not the mayor of this town.” She spread her wings and flapped them once, going over the edge and starting to sink down towards the town below.


“Down!” I ordered the batponies pulling the carriage. “Get us landed already.”

As the carriage went down for landing, I could hear her all the way from across the square.

"Citizens of Ponyville! We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real princess of the night! A creature of nightmare no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!"

Damn it, Luna! What the fuck did I just say!?

Jumping off the carriage I trotted across the square in annoyance, jumping over a cowering pony on the cobblestones before I came to a stop, looking up at her. “What are you doing?” I asked the Princess quietly.

She blinked down at me. “I am trying to..”

“Frighten them half to death?” I whispered back. “Luna, this is not the same crowds you were used to back a thousand years ago. Princess Celestia does not use that volume anymore, they connect it to Nightmare Moon, not royalty.”

“Then what...”

I sighed, looking back at the cowering ponies, the purple element bearer slowly approaching across the square, wearing... a large fake beard and a hat with bells on it?

“Lay down. Talk like you talk with me.” I instructed quietly. “Don't try to be impressive, be approachable.”

Luna looked hesitant, but nodded and folded her legs beneath her, laying down and I turned to the cowering crowd, ruthlessly stomping my fear of public speaking into the ground as I spoke up. “Sorry everyone, there were some culture clash here. Princess Luna did not mean to frighten you, simply to congratulate you on your wonderful festival!”

There was little movement, just some lifted heads and more trembling.

Oh for crying out loud.


Actions speak louder than words.

Laying down next to Luna, I leaned slightly against her side, causing her to blink slightly in surprise down at me before smiling softly.

That got a greater reaction from the crowd and more ponies raised their heads to look, starting to climb to their hooves again.

“Princess Luna!” The purple element bearer exclaimed. “I'm...”

“Starswirl the Bearded. We recognize your costume.” Luna said, using the same volume she used in private. “You even got the bells right.”

“Oh! You recognized it!” she said happily. “I'm actually...”

“Twilight Sparkle. Our sister's student and Bearer of the Element of Magic.”

Sparkle blinked. “Oh... yes. May I ask what you are doing here, Princess?” she asked carefully, right front hoof slightly lifted off the ground as her eyes flicked to me.

“We wished to show that We are no longer Nightmare Moon.” Luna explained. “We wish to change this night to not be one of terror, but of celebration.”

“But it's not just fear, Princess.” Sparkle explained. “There is plenty of fun.”

Luna looked at her curiously. “What kind of fun do you speak of?”


“Huzzah!” Luna cheered as she managed to toss the ball through the ring at the stand, picking up the next one.

It was good to see that she was entertained, at least, and the ponies did seem to be reacting better to her presence. At least they were not cowering in fear, even if the kids hid from her.

One step at a time.

“Sorry, I didn't catch your name?” Sparkle asked me as we watched Luna try to win a stuffed toy.

I blinked at that before I chuckled. “Sorry. I'm Blank Page, I'm a friend of Princess Luna. She invited me to come along, so here I am.” I said with a shrug.

Sparkle looked thoughtful before she nodded. “I see.”

There was a squeak like a frightened chicken and I looked over in surprise as a pink pony dressed like a chicken ran away from Luna after having almost run into her rounding the corner of the stall.

“What in the world...”

“It's Pinkie Pie.” Twilight Sparkle semi-explained to me and continued; “You get used to it.” before she trotted over to talk to Luna.

Chapter 31

I couldn't help but smile as I rested beneath the tree, my legs folded beneath myself as I watched Luna sit before the fountain, telling a story of valor and bravery to the foals gathered before her. A story about a knight defending a village against a dragon.

That actually took quite a bit of doing, but it helped a lot when she stopped using the 'Royal Canterlot Voice' as she called it.

I was also really thankful to those three fillies gathered closest to her. A white unicorn, an orange pegasus and a yellow earth pony.

When they dared to approach, the rest gathered as well to hear the story.

Brave fillies.

As it turned out, Nightmare Night was basically Halloween. Which, in retrospect, made a lot of sense. Costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon and candy to appease her if she found you.

“I never knew Princess Luna was such a storyteller.” Twilight Sparkle observed as she settled down to watch next to me.

I grinned at that, remembering Luna's own explanation. “What are dreams if not stories?”

Twilight frowned in thought. “I... suppose that makes sense.”

“So what is it like, studying magic with Princess Celestia?” I asked, looking over at her.

Twilight smiled happily. “It's amazing! And challenging.”

I nodded. “I study magic as well, b-”

“With Princess Luna!? I didn't know she had taken a student!”

I quickly shook my head. “No, no. I'm her friend, not her student. I study independently.... but to be honest, what I'm studying is stuff that you probably learned before even starting your study with the Princess.”


“Yeah. Elementary Transfiguration and other spells of a similar level. I... couldn't really get a magic education where I lived before.” I explained before I smiled. “Besides, my special talent isn't magic like yours, so even if I did start at the same time as you I still wouldn't have been as good at it.”

Twilight frowned, likely wondering where I could have grown up that had such bad education before she looked back at my mark. “So what is your talent?”

I shrugged. “I'm an author.”

I actually had no idea if that actually was my 'special talent', but it seemed easier than when I was human and I did find it fun to do.

Twilight grinned. “Oh! You are that Blank Page! I loved your book!”

“Thanks. I'm working on the sequel. Mostly done, just need to go over it for editing. Correcting some dialogue and such.”

Actually writing was easy. When I got into the flow, I could easily put out a page or two an hour.

“I can't wait to see what happens next.” Twilight said with a smile. “...Are Sky Walker and Princess Leia going to get together?”

I snorted at that. “Well, that would be spoilers, wouldn't it?”

Just you wait, Sparky. The next book is going to blow your little genius mind.

She pouted but nodded. “I suppose.” She scraped a hoof on the grass and continued; “Still, I liked the book. It was really violent at times... and sad, but it also had really good characters and it ended happily.”


That earned me a suspicious look.

“Stop fishing, Sparkle.” I chuckled. “But I suppose I could get you an early signed version as soon as its printed, if you are that curious.”

“Really!? Thank you!”

“...I might need to pick your mind on magic at some point, though, if you don't mind.”

“No problem. I can recommend a couple of good study books on the subject if you want.”

I nodded. “I would appreciate it.” and earflicked, lifting my mug of cider and taking a sip. Apple cider, really good too. Apparently it was made on one of the local farms.

While not very strong, it was very good and refreshing, nice and crisp. Wonder if they sold it in bottles... I would like a case.

Taking a moment, I looked around the square. Ponyville seemed like a rather nice place to live, actually.

It had that kind of 'small town' feel, surrounded by farms and a thick forest in the distance... at least from what I saw during the flight in.

Would have been nice to see it during the day, but we were heading back to Canterlot again before sunrise.

...Nothing really said I couldn't visit again, though. I did have the bits for the train ride now and I really should go see more of Equestria now when I could afford it. I was probably stuck here for the rest of my life, after all.

Maybe when I finished Star Wars I'd take some time and travel, thinking about what to write about next.

The purple unicorn gave me an idea though. Harry Potter perhaps.

I then frowned in thought at that. Hairy Pottery.

Nope! If I did that, I needed to change the name more.

Chapter 32

404 Day not found.

Nobody reading this is going to get that date joke, but trust me, It's funny..

Just got back from a town called 'Ponyville' which is strange in of itself. Like calling a place 'Human Town'.

I met a lot of interesting ponies, including all the element bearers. Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.

They were... nice.

The pink one, Pinkie Pie, was very confusing, even after she stopped running in fear from Luna. I could have sworn I saw her break the laws of physics at some point, pulling a cake from... somewhere in her mane. A full size cake. It was larger than her head and mane put together!

She wasn't even a unicorn!

Twilight explained it to me as, “It's Pinkie. Don't think about it.”

I'm starting to think that was very wise advice.

...And I somehow ended up with a really nice formal suit? I'm still not entirely sure how that happened. I was talking to the white unicorn, Rarity, and mentioned somewhere in passing that I didn't own any clothes.

She looked horrified and before I knew it, I'm in her shop getting my measurements taken.

The next day, before we headed back to Canterlot, she showed up and handed me a really, really nice black suit.

Very classy, and what's worse, she refused to allow me to pay for it! Said that if I told people where I got it from that was enough.

Well, she was the bearer of the element of generosity I guess.

So it's now being stored in my wardrobe. The only clothes I own other than a couple of scarfs for the winter. I really should get something else... a hat or something to keep the rain off my head at least.

My force-field is not quite good enough yet to keep the rain out for more than a couple of minutes without recasting, but I am getting better, so soon enough the point will be rather moot anyway.

In other news, I just managed to finish writing 'The Empire Strikes Back'. At least the rough draft. Now I have to go back through and edit the damn thing, something I didn't really fully do on the first book. Sure, it turned out fine and the editor at the publisher did a great job, but there were some word choices I didn't catch as Luna had it printed before I got it back to revise what the editor did.

My magic butt tattoo might make stuff like grammar and spelling a lot easier as well as make things flow better, but I still need to do this right.

This is the critical book in the series and I do NOT want to fuck up 'that' scene. You might have read it by now, so you know what I'm talking about. At least you do if I didn't screw it up.



“Hey Page.”


I almost fell off the chair as the Pegasus dropped down next to me with no warning, “Damn it, Cloud! Are you trying to scare the life out of me!?”

Fucking featherbrain!

He chuckled, “Sorry.”

I took a deep breath and turned back, looking out over the country stretching out beneath the city. I could even see what might be ponyville far into the distance.

“What are you doing?” He asked and picked up one of the papers. I reached out with my magic, snatching it from his grip before he could read anything.

“My next book. Which you can read with everyone else when it come out, I'm editing.”

He 'ahhed' and then nodded before he frowned, “I really should get around to reading your first one. I heard it's good. My sister loves it, but I'm more of a Daring Doo person.”

I couldn't help but feel slightly pleased at that.

“It 'is' a adventure book. You might like it.” I told him with a shrug, “So why exactly did you feel like scaring a couple years off my life, featherbrain?”

Thunder Cloud grinned, “Was looking to get some practice in, but Father and Swift Spear are both busy. You are the only non-guard pony I know that doesn't shy away from being able to hit me with a stick. Even the others in the practice class have problems following through with their strikes even if they might be better than you in actual technique.”

That was likely my humanity showing through. Ponies really did have a aversion from hurting others... humans have that as well, but theirs is stronger. Our teacher said that it could be a problem and might take a year or more to train away. Another reason for the class before being accepted to proper guard training.

The Guard was a defensive force and violence was VERY rare, the crime rate in Equestria was almost utopian and what did happen was very rarely violent. But it did happen so they needed to be prepared. And that's not even accounting for the occasional monster attack.

“That's because they don't know you as well as I do. If they did, they would hit you with sticks too.”

“Yea... hey!”

Chuckling I rose, starting to pack my notes up, “Come on, Birdy. Let's go then, I can continue this tonight.”

Chapter 33

My pulse pounded in my ears as I ran through the shadowy corridor, the rasp of claws against stone behind me barely audible over the sound of my breath and heart.

Turning the corner, I ducked through a open door and closed it behind me, finding myself in another corridor, the windows to one side showing the rest of the castle far below, lit up by the moon.

Taking a second to catch my breath, I slowly started to walk, every time my hooves hit the floor, the sound seemed to echo forever through the entire castle.

Have to be quiet. Have to escape.

They would hear me. Find me.

The door behind me shook from a heavy impact and I froze, staring at it before ducking into one of the side rooms, closing that door behind me as well, then pushing the bookcase in front of it.

Suddenly, I was no longer alone in the dark room.

“Your dreams are troubled, dear Page.” Luna said as I tried to get my breathing under control as my brain processed what was going on.

“...This is a dream. Yes... of course it is.” I whispered, my back pressed against the bookcase. This was not the first time I had this dream.

I had been having this dream at least once a year for the last fifteen years. This was a variation though, I had never been in a castle before.

Looking up, I met Lunas worried eyes, “Luna... You shouldn't be here. You should leave.”

She frowned, “But you are in distress. Page... you are terrified.”

“Please. It's... it's a bad dream. I have had it before. But I have no idea how it can affect you. I don't want you to even see it. Please, Luna.”

She smiled softly and leaned down to give my right ear a nuzzle, “Calm, Page. Dreams are my realm, Nothing here can threaten me. You are safe, whatever it is, it can not hurt you.”

A hiss on the other side of the door made me fold my ears back and I trembled.

Luna gently guided me away from the bookshelf with her wing before floating it to the side with her magic.

No. Don't do it.

“Luna... no. Don't. It's not worth it.”

She gave me a calming smile and then opened the door, finding herself nose to nose with a pack of xenomorphs.

Luna took a step back in surprise and they hissed before pouncing and the princess screamed as they tore into her.


The window shattered behind me, exploding outwards into nothing but sparks of light as Luna floated to the ground behind me. Light was flaring from her horn and the light and shadows around faded to day, the grizzly sight before me turning to dust and blowing away into nothing.

The hissing, clicking and screams faded away to be replaced with soft gusts of wind and the chirping of birds.

Luna folded her wings and approached me carefully, “Page?”

I stared at her in horror, trying my best not to collapse.

Her eyes flicked over at where she had been torn to pieces and shook her head, approaching to lay down next to me, covering my back with her wing as my legs folded beneath me, “It was not real, Dear Page. A dream image, nothing more. It was not me.”

Shivering, I leaned against her side, “I... I saw...”

“Easy.” Luna whispered, “You are safe. I am sorry I didn't interrupt earlier.”

Closing my eyes, I forced myself to take a slow, deep breath.

“What were those creatures?” Luna asked after a moment.

I swallowed, “They... they are called Xenomorphs. They are not real, a made up monster for a story. I... I first saw it when I was a kid. They hunt you down. They take you... implant a egg in your chest that hatches and bursts out through your rib cage. This... is a nightmare I have had before with variations. A couple of times a year for a long time.”

Luna frowned again and looked over at the patch of marble where they had ripped her dream copy apart, “Horrible creatures. For somebody to come up with a creature such as that takes a dark mind. And to inflict them on foals... even in our time such a thing would have been unthinkable.”

I couldn't help but snort a little at that, “...I'm afraid that was my own fault. There was a warning that the movie was for adults only. I hated those things.”

The Princess nodded, “Even so.”

“Trust me... they are not the worst things created by human imagination.” I sighed and lowered my head onto my frontlegs, “Just the one I find personally terrifying.”

At least they don't exist in reality.

“You have nightmares often.” Luna said softly, “Or at least, your dreams are often darker than those of regular ponies. Almost every night there is something minor, even if you do not remember it.”


Luna chuckled softly and held me softly against her side with her wing, “I only interfere when things become especially bad, such as now. And usually only to end the dream and not interfere. It is rare that I enter somepony's dream to assist and even rarer that I make myself known.”

“...Thank you, Luna.”

She smiled and slid her wing up along my back, curling it around to cover my eyes, “Now sleep, my friend. And dream of nicer things.” she whispered, giving my ear a small nuzzle.

The world faded away to black before returning around me and now I was alone, laying in what seemed to be soft grey sand.

I frowned in thought and looked around. No sign of Luna.

My gaze turned to the skies and I gasped as I saw the blue and green orb of Equestria hovering far above.

Chapter 34

I stared at the light pink mare with the short red mane sitting on the other side of the desk. “You cannot be serious.”

“I'm perfectly serious,” Flower Press retorted. “While we are getting your book edited and have the front artwork commissioned, you should promote it by attending a number of functions. We will handle the invites for you, all you need to do is show up and talk to ponies.”

“...I write fantasy military fiction, not high class literature!”

Say what you want, that was the truth.

“Even so, even rich ponies and nobles 'do' read all kinds of books. Including your own,” she explained patiently. “And the more we get them talking about it, the better the book is going to sell.”

I flicked my ears in annoyance. This was not going the way I wanted it to.

“And if I refuse?”

She shrugged her wings. “Then you refuse and the book sells less. Your previous one sold enough that it is still likely to be profitable for us to print it, but all of us would make more bits this way.”

I felt like grinding my teeth, but she was making a very good point.

The better each book sold, the more bits I would make... and the more bits I made, the less risky this entire thing was.

Which meant I could worry a lot less about somehow running out of money and being reliant on the crown's funds again or taking a job waiting tables.

“...Very well,” I conceded.

“Excellent. There is a garden party at the castle in five day's time. I can get you an invite. It is a formal event, I assume that will not be a problem?”

...Thank you, Rarity.

“No. No problem.”

“Good. I'll have the invitation delivered to you later this week.”


Day 430

Why the fuck did I let her talk me into this!? Somehow, my publisher managed to talk me into going to some sort of fancy garden party at the castle to promote my book.

I hate this kind of thing. So what if going to these fancy parties will make the book sell better?

I'd rather live on noodles.

...Noodles. Huh, I just realized I have not seen a single one since I arrived here. I miss the damn things.

Even the cheap cup ones. Come on, they have to exist somewhere! It's not like it's a particularly unique concept. What's in those things, flour and egg? Ponies eat both.

Hmm. I'll have to ask my friends if they've heard of something like it.

Man, I could really go for some Thai right now. Or Chinese. Something spicy would be nice. Most pony food isn't very spicy, at least not the way I liked it back home.

Oooh, Indian. The real stuff, not the western version. I didn't quite have the resistance to eat it, first time it almost killed me. I need plenty of bread, but damn if it's not great.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, bitching about my publisher. Just nerves I guess. I hate these fucking things. I'm not a fan of normal parties, these stiff ones are even worse.

Not only that, but I won't know anyone there.

I'm just glad I didn't need a 'Plus One'. Who the hell would I ask? Luna? Silver Leaf? Celestia? I don't know any other mares and I barely know Silver as anything other than, 'Friendly Waitress'.

Well, other than the element bearers I guess, but I have only met them once.

...The thought of letting Pinkie Pie loose onto a room full of stuffy nobles might fill me with glee, but somehow I doubt it would promote my book.

Well, at least the suit is a really nice one and it fit like a glove. Hell, it fit better than anything I ever wore back on Earth.

Then again, I have not had a custom-tailored suit before, just the off-the-rack stuff.

I really need to remember to to send Rarity a thank you note for this, I have no idea how it would go to get a nice suit made in less than a week.

The fact that the damn thing is actually comfortable to wear, something I thought was against the law when it came to formal wear, doesn't exactly hurt either.

I'm going to drop her name as often as I can get away with tonight, she clearly knows her stuff and I'll send as much business her way as I possibly can.

...And now I'm just procrastinating leaving, aren't I?

Well, fashionably late is a thing... or does that only apply to rich people? Or, is it only mares?

Fuck, I don't even know if it applied on this world.

I guess I could always be the 'eccentric author'. That would likely go over well. Maybe I should show up with some sort of strange hat on my head?

Wonder where I can get one with this short notice.

...I'm doing it again, aren't I?

Might as well get this shit over with.


Chapter 35

I gave the little cucumber thing in my magic a dubious look before I took a careful bite. Hmm. Actually pretty okay.

That's more than could be said for the rest of this... shindig.

Suppressing a sigh, I grabbed another cucumber thing and headed back to one of the trees in the castle garden.

Honestly, for a formal event I suppose it wasn't that bad. But after an hour of mingling, I was bone dead tired of it and I just wanted to go away.

All fake. All of it. Every smile, every word, every laugh in this place.

Well, likely not all, but it all felt too... plastic.

The place was stock full with primarily nobles and rich ponies from Canterlot. I was the poorest pony here by a large margin other than the staff.

At least I looked the part in this suit.

Eating the second treat, I glanced up across the wall at the other end of the garden where Luna's tower was.

I would rather be there, just laying on the couch, reading a book as Luna worked on somewhat or the other.

...Now when I considered it though, I rather have spent the night in the dungeons. At least there I could have gotten some sleep. Maybe I should be thankful these ponies had way to much tact to not mention that accursed rumor if they have heard it in the first place.

I wonder what she is up to anyway? She didn't mention anything important happening today, so there is likely just the normal things to sign and then some more reading up on the thousand or so years she was missing.

Even so, she did say she intends to reopen Night Court a couple of days a week for the first time in a thousand years to allow petitioners.

Celestia already did that. Well, during the day that is, a few days a week.

Oh, most things were filtered through the ranks of bureaucrats and nobles. Running a country, even as... okay, let's call it was it is, a Benevolent Dictator... did take a lot of effort and you really needed to know how to delegate.

But a couple of days a week, anypony could make a appointment and make their voice heard.

Now Luna was going to start doing the same thing, effectively doubling the time... assuming they didn't mind it being in the middle of the night.

...Speaking of which, I wonder if Luna would mind teaching me that 'silence bubble' she said she uses over her bed when sleeping during the day? I have to remember to ask her. While my neighbors were usually quiet... they were not 'that' quiet, especially in the morning and as I didn't have a normal job, I wanted to sleep in. Especially after spending most of the night with Luna.

While considering if it would be too early to leave politely yet, I looked around before blinking in surprise. Was that Rarity?

It was! She was talking with Fancy Pants. As far as I understood, he was a rich...and I'm not entirely sure why. Old money was my best guess, he had a lot of hanger-ons.

I frowned slightly in thought as I watched Rarity move on to talk to Fleur Dis Lee who as far as I understood, was some kind of model. She reminded me a bit of Luna in looks. Well, in body shape at least, even if her colors were completely different.

Not sure why I was surprised to see Rarity here really. She did seem to be the sort that enjoyed these things.

Rarity gave a small start as she spotted me before she made her way over, “Blank Page, how good to see you again.” she said with a smile.

I nodded, “You as well, Lady Rarity.” I greeted her, “I have to thank you again for this suit. It really is great.”

She smiled happily, “Oh, I can do better with a bit more time. How are you finding this little get together?”

I couldn't help but smile slightly as well, “Honestly? I find it dreadfully boring.”

“Oh? But darling, this is one of the most important parties of the year!”

I shook my head, “Not my kind of thing, I'm afraid. Not a party pony. I'm here because my publicist insisted on it, she said it would look good and get the right people talking.”

“Well, she is certainly correct!”

I shrugged, “I suppose.”

“So how is Princess Luna doing?” Rarity asked after a moment to glance over her shoulder.

“Very well, as far as I am aware...” I answered before I gave her a wary look, “Why?”

Rarity smiled, “Oh, just curious. You two seemed to be rather close.”

“...We are. Close friends, that is.”

“Well I think it's marvelous.” Rarity said with a smile before she looked back, “...Excuse me for a moment, I just saw somepony I just 'have' to talk to.”

“Of course.” I nodded, watching the white mare rush off.

Tapping my hoof against the grass, I considered what to do now. Stay or...


Nope, fuck this. I'm out of here. A couple of extra books sold is not worth this tedium, I doubt this help much anyway. I have been here, I have been seen, I have talked to quite a bit of ponies.

Starting towards the exit I paused for half a second and then changed course. Perhaps just a couple more of those cucumber things first.

They were rather good after all.

Chapter 36

Day 450.

My new book was released yesterday. I sent a copy to Twilight Sparkle a few days ago, signed and everything like I promised. Most of yesterday was spent on a booksigning session. I was shocked by how many ponies showed up.

Luna did, of course, get an early copy as well. I did show her the first movie in my dreams, but she never saw any of the others. I wanted to keep it a surprise for her as well.

Honestly, I can't wait for the reactions to start filtering in.

A entire world introduced to 'Sky, I am your Father!'. It's not just writing and spreading the stories that I love.

The reactions are often even better... and not only that, but it get people thinking, imagining. Even using a story I know, like an adaptation of Star Wars, it's still creating worlds, people, in people's minds.

The right... or wrong... word in the right place can change the course of the world. That's why people say the pen is mightier than the sword.

Not that I think my writing does that, even with this magic butt tattoo boosting my skill. But I do hope it provides people with at least some entertainment. Give them fantastical worlds to get lost in for a moment.

To get them to dream of new thi


I looked up from my journal at the knock on the door. Hmm? It's not mail time now.

Letting the quill drop onto the table, I headed over to open it.

“Oh, hey, Thunder Cloud.”

The pegasus grinned. “Hey Page, was passing by and figured I would check what you were up to.”

“Nothing, really.” I answered and shook my head, stepping aside to let him inside as I closed the journal with my magic. “Just... kind of relaxing. Taking a couple of days to do nothing now that the new book is finally out.”

“Oh yeah, I saw that on the way here. Empire Strikes Back. Good title. You know, I should probably get around to reading them at some point.” He said and looked around. “You know, I expected your place to be more... you know... bookish.”

I looked around as well. I guess it was still a bit spartan, I had only upgraded the bed and put in a bookshelf that was currently quite full.

Other than that, there was a pile of papers on the table next to the journal.

“What did you expect, papers piled up everywhere?” I chuckled and then reached to pull a copy of A New Hope from the shelf with my magic, floating it over to him. “Here.”

“Oh... thanks. But I can just buy one...” He said but took it, putting it beneath his wing.

I shrugged. “I have like five of them laying around. So what are you up to?”

He shrugged his free wing. “Nothing, really. No training today and nothing else planned.” he said and continued; “Most of my friends are off to weather school or whatever.”

School system here was interesting. It actually reminded me a bit of home. From seven to sixteen, you went to school no matter what. Learning the basic things, reading, writing, geography, history. Math.

At sixteen you graduated and then you either did something you discovered was your special talent... or in case of more advanced things, such as controlling the weather, you went to school or got to work as a apprentice.

The guard, however, had a minimum age of seventeen to apply which meant he was stuck for another year while basically between stuff to do.

I nodded. “I know that feeling.” I frowned in thought and continued; “Well, I'm not exactly doing anything. We should be able to find something to do. If nothing else, we can stop by the training ground and you can throw stuff at me, I really think I have that shield down by now. We can figure out something else to do later.”

Cloud grinned at that. “Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. It has not failed on me for over a month.”

I wisely left out that it was with no strain on it and just casting it on its own.

“Well, sounds go-” he started to say before there was a knock on the door.

Raising an eyebrow, I walked over to look outside and spotted a batpony.


“Blank Page?” He asked and reached to pull a scroll from his saddlebag.

I opened the door fully. “Yes, that's me.”

“A message, sir.” He said and handed the scrolls over, allowing me to take it with my magic.

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“Have a good day, sir.” He said before trotting away down the stairs.

Eyeing the scrolls thoughtfully, I closed the door to find Cloud watching me curiously.

“I can leave you to check that in private. If they were delivered by a royal guard, it must be important.”

I shook my head. “Don't worry about it, I'll just check this and then we can head out.”

Starting with the small one, I slid the strap off it and unrolled it.


Dear Page,


Luna, Princess of the Night and Mistress of Dreams.


Grinning, I put the scroll away on the bookshelf. Glad she liked it.

“Come on, let's go.”

Chapter 37

The guards let me into Luna's chambers and I walked over, jumping up to lay down on the couch as I waited for her to return from the balcony and the moon rising.

I was a bit early, but I couldn't resist as I was really curious. Last night was the first time she ran her night court and I wanted to know how it went.

I mean, I could have gone, it was open to the public. But with the rumors going around, I didn't want to add more to it.

Using my magic, I shrugged my bag off and put it next to the table, pulling a book out after a glance at the balcony doors.

Not that I needed to wait long before the glow outside dimmed and Luna walked back inside, the moon shining behind her.

“Page. You're early.” she said with a smile as she spotted me, making her way over.

“I was too curious to stay away. How did it go?”

Luna smiled and flicked her ears, jumping onto the couch opposite to me, “How did what go?” she asked as I put the book down between us.

I gave her a look at that and poked her chest with my hoof, “Night Court.”

She hmmed and shrugged her wings, leaning her side against the backrest of the couch, “It went... well enough.”

Frowning at that, I tilted my head in question, “How do you mean?”

Luna sighed, “What actually happened went well enough. It was just that nothing much happened. There were a total of five petitioners.”

I raised an eyebrow at that, “...Five?”

That was not a lot. I know Celestias is always flooded with ponies.

She nodded, “It was... almost like before my exile.” she said before she frowned, and admitted “...No, that is not true. It was better than that, more ponies are awake during the night now than back then.”

“It was the first time, Luna. I'm sure more will show up when things get rolling.” I said, flicking my ears as I looked up at her, “If nothing else because sooner or later someone will realize that instead of waiting weeks to talk to your sister, they can simply wait until one in the morning and petition you instead.”

“...Perhaps.” she sighed, “But I still suspect there will be a disproportionate amount of bakers.”

I grinned, “Any show up yesterday?”

Luna nodded, “Indeed. A young baker wished to open a bakery here in Canterlot. He had been turned down for a loan previously, so he had decided to petition the crown for one.”

“So how did it go?”

“He got it.” she said with a smile, “He brought examples of his craft and they were worthy of our own tables. It would have been a crime to the kingdom to withhold the funds he needed.”

I grinned, “I have to remember to visit when he opens if it was that good.”

“If he did not wish to open his own bakery, I would have suggested he get a place in the royal kitchen.” Luna said with a smile, “The rest of the petitioners were minor nobles wishing for this or that. Some wanting support for a law, others wanting permission for construction. Lord Rune Shield wanted a airship dock at his mansion.”

“Did he get it?”

“And demolish at least fifteen houses to make room? Not likely.” Luna grinned and picked my book up, “What are you reading?”

I shrugged, “I already know the warming spell. Trying to figure out the freezing one...” before I grinned and admitted, “Mostly to be able to keep drinks cool in the middle of summer.”

Luna nodded and flipped through the book, closing it and putting it on the table, “It is a relatively tricky spell. Freezing something is more difficult than warming it. Adding energy is easier than removing it.”

“So I figured from that equation. I wish I was better at this 'magic' thing.” I sighed and turned my head to glance back at my mark, “Having a mark for magic would have been... awesome.”

That brought a chuckle from the Princess, “Such as my sister's student?”

I shook my head, “Well... yeah, I guess. You have to admit, the ability to work magic with such ease is a lot cooler than having a bit easier time writing.”

Luna grinned, “Page, you love writing.”

“Well... yeah. But still. Magic would be awesome.”

She sighed, “Well, nothing says you 'have' to follow your mark. It simply shows the first thing you loved doing and find that you are really good at. Nothing says it has to be the only thing you love doing and are great at. There are plenty of ponies in the world that have their special talent as a hobby, not a job.” before she smiled, “And many times it's all about how you interpret your mark. You are a skilled author... but is it your special talent? You woke up with this mark, you didn't earn it the normal way.”

I frowned, “I... think so? I mean, it's easier to write here than I remember it being back home before getting this thing. And I love writing.”

Luna shifted closer and slightly to the side, looking back at my Cutiemark. She smelled softly of Jasmine.

“It's possible to see cutiemarks for several things. Say somebody receives a cutiemark of a coffee cup. They could be specialists at brewing or roasting or growing it. There are plenty of ways to see each mark, several ways each talent could be interpreted. It is all up to the owner how they want to see it, what they want to do. Page, ponies are not slaves to their marks.”

Considering that for a short moment I then nodded, “So what else could it mean?”

“A blank half rolled up parchment?” Luna shrugged as she looked at it, “Could be anything really. Learning from books, even making paper. Or writing, filling that page. It's all about what you want, Page. For all we know, it might as well be a spell scroll.”

I chuckled at that and lifted my book up in my magic as Luna shifted back and stopped looking at my arse, “That's stretching it a bit I think. If it was, I would have a bit easier of a time with this thing.”

“Twilight Sparkle also started somewhere. You have only been doing this for a year.”

Shaking my head I smiled up at her, “Thanks, but I know I will never be some kind of super wizard. Not enough power. With time, I might learn the skill to be at least good at it, but I simply don't have any real power, I know that much. Compared to other unicorns I've seen, I'm at best average.”

She grinned back, “The average unicorn could do a lot more than they think if they put in the time to practice. But I admit that my sister's student is extraordinarily powerful and has a great aptitude for magic. Now, do you wish some assistance in learning this spell?”

“...Yes please.”

Chapter 38

I glared at the large red apple and then slowly lifted it into the air before me, focusing my magic at it.

Luna nodded next to me, her side just about touching mine and whispered into my ear. “Good. Now craft the spell in your mind, remember the equations. You can't remove the heat, you need to channel it into something. You can't destroy energy, it needs to be redirected. Absorb it into your magic.”

Instead of answering, I focused on the apple held in my magic. Carefully, carefully I closed my eyes before focusing fully on feeling it in my magic, slowly moving the energy around while focusing hard on what I wanted to do.

Freeze the apple solid.

Stop little atoms. Go to sleep. Hush. Settle down.

The sound of a commotion outside the door that caused me to look to the side.

“Page! Do-” was about as far as Luna got before the apple exploded in our faces, turning into a mist of apple particles that covered us from head to hooves as well as a good portion of the room.

“...not lose focus.” Luna slowly finished before she sighed and gave me a Look.

I grimaced, trying not to blush in embarrassment. ”...Sorry.”

That was not something I had expected to happen and I definitely had not expected to cover us in half vaporized apple. Suddenly I was very glad I didn't practice with a bottle of cider like I had first planned.

That would have been a… poor choice.

Luna brushed some apple mush off her nose before looking at me again. She looked pretty hilarious, half covered with the mush, pieces of apple floating in her mane like small asteroids.

I probably looked about as funny to her as I have no idea who it was that started laughing first, but soon we were leaning against each other for support.

“Sometimes I see why 'Tia loves teaching.” she giggled after a moment, straightening up. “It is hardly a boring activity.”

“Somehow I doubt that Princess Celestia ended up covered in apple that often. I don't see Twilight Sparkle messing up like that.” I said with a grin, reaching to brush some apple mush from her regalia/necklace/collar thing with my hoof. “Sorry about the mess, I didn't mean to cover you in goop.”

Oh man, I got the literal crown jewels covered with apple juice!

She snorted. “It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened and I'm sure it's not the last. Besides, cleaning up will be a simple matter. But first, I need to find out what that was about.” she said and trotted over to the door, leaving me to try to get a piece of apple out of my ear with my hoof.

Stupid fruit.

“Aunt Luna!” a voice exclaimed. “These roughian guards refused to allow me entrance.”

“That's because they were doing their jobs, Nephew.” Luna sighed. “What can I do for you?”

“There is an important matter I need to discuss with you, auntie.” the voice declared as he moved past her and entered, revealing a large white unicorn with blonde mane. He was larger than me, but more in build rather than Luna's and Celestia's height difference even if he was taller than me. Not fat, but he had a larger build and it seemed that most of it was muscle.

He paused, looking closed at Luna. “...is that apple?”

“Yes, Blueblood, it is.” she sighed. “Could we do this at a different time?”

“But it is a matter of court! The bureaucrats refuse t-” he started to complain before he spotted me as well.

I gave him a small wave. “Hello.”

He stared at me before turning to Luna. “Auntie... I didn't put any weight into the mean-spirited rumors about you and a.. commoner, but this... Auntie, how could you debase yourself with a commoner!? It might as well be a gryphon!”


Luna did not look happy, her mane moving faster and I could have sworn her eyes actually went a bit darker. “Nephew, my sister may put up with your attitude, but I will not.”

“But aunti-”

“ENOUGH!” Luna commanded, her hoof hitting the stone floor with a loud crack, her voice seemingly shaking the stone under my hooves. “We will discuss this matter later. Leave us!”

“B-” He managed to say, giving her a shocked look.

“Leave. And when my guards say that I am busy, you will respect that in the future.”

“I... Yes, Auntie.” he finally said and gave a small bow as he backed out, the door closing behind him. “A-Aunt Celestia will hear of this!” filtered through the door a moment later.

Well, that was a thing.

Luna sighed and scraped her hoof against the floor before turning to make her way back to me. “I apologize for the actions of my nephew. That side of the family was once regal and powerful, ruling fairly and strongly. It is disappointing to see them reduced to... that. He is not even the worst, just one of the loudest.”

I held my hoof up to look at it. “It's fine, I actually don't mind the gryphon thing. Being able to fly without losing hands wouldn't actually be a bad thing in my point of view, would have been about equally good as a unicorn in my mind. I'm mostly worried that that stupid rumor might cause you trouble.” I hmm-ed and continued; “Maybe we should tell him what I really am. Just to see how outraged it is possible to get. You know, for science.”

“...Perhaps we should find a way to get back at my sister for starting that rumor.” Luna chuckled, ignoring my comment before giving my side a poke with her wing. “And I rather like you as a unicorn.”

I stuck my tongue out at her for that. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

She grinned and then lifted her wing again, inspecting the apple juices staining her feathers. “But perhaps we should do something about this first, before it dries completely.”

“... Better that you cast that spell. I don't want to explode myself.” I hesitantly said only to get an amused look in return.

“Spell? No, we are visiting the royal baths.” She said with a grin. “Come.”

I hesitated at that. “Baths? Uhm, Luna... we can't just share a bath...”

Turning her head to look at me she stopped, looking confused. “Why not? It would be large enough even for multiple alicorns my sister's size. We will easily fit.”

“But it's...” I started to say before suddenly feeling very stupid.

The entire 'bathing in private' thing humans did mainly came from the lack of clothes. Here, we were already naked.

Literally the only difference between sitting in a bath and sitting on a couch was that in one of them we were in water.

“Sorry, I'm being an idiot, it's a human cultural thing that doesn't really apply now.” I chuckled and shook my head, walking up next to her. Luna gave me a curious look, so I grinned and continued; “I'll explain on the way.”

Chapter 39

My quill drew another line on my paper as I relaxed on the grass, my side against the tree, a icecream cone floating next to me and a bottle of low alcohol cider sitting in the grass next to me as I watched a unicorn walk past down the street, making use of one of the last warm days before it starts to get cold again.

“What are you doing? You have been putting lines in that thing for over a hour.” Thunder Cloud asked as he dropped down from the branches of the tree above where he had been relaxing, landing in the grass.

I shrugged and noted down a pegasus that flew past at rooftop level, “Just doing some light research. I'm curious about the population ratio between the three major pony subspecies.”

Cloud tilted his head in question, “...How many of each tribe pass by?”

“Something like that, yes. So far, I have fifty three unicorns, twenty pegasus and ten earth ponies. Is that a normal population ratio?”

The Pegasus shrugged his wings and sat down on the grass, “Well, Canterlot is a unicorn city. Make sense there is more of them around. I mean, there are plenty pegasus and earth ponies as well, but yeah, mostly unicorns. Cloudsdale is almost completely pegasus with a handful of unicorns and there are a ton of smaller towns with almost completely full of earth ponies.”

I frowned at that, “...Why? Why are things more mixed up? Do the subspecies look down at each other?”

Cloud frowned and then shook his head, “No... not since the unification at least. But in general each tribe prefers to live in different places. We Pegasi prefer to live among the clouds. You unicorns have no idea how great it is to sleep on a cloud. Besides, we like being able to move from place to place.” he explained before he shrugged again, “Well, my family have been in Canterlot for a long time. But in general, you know?”

I nodded in thought, “And unicorns and earth ponies?”

He snorted and settled down on the grass, “How would I know?”

Hmming, I nodded, marking off another earth pony that walked past. If I was going to do this study fully, I would need to visit several cities and outlying villages. Possibly spending a week in each and in different spots for each city for a proper statistical spread.

All for some idle personal curiosity of why I was not seeing more earth ponies. Or I suppose I could ask somebody at the castle, that kind of information should be registered in the tax department. If I could get access to it in any case. So either go through massive amounts of paperwork or spend months doing field research.

I put my quill, ink and paper back into my back. Nope, not doing either of those.

That's why I'm never going to be a scientist. I might like the collection of data and I might be curious, there is no way I'm going through the effort needed for a real, actual, scientific result. I would also be surprised if nobody have done this kind of study before, I could likely just look it up in the library.

Cloud knew I didn't start out as a unicorn. He had been as surprised as Swift but I did have a note from Princess Luna and Princess Celestia to help confirm to anyone I told about it that it was true.

Even then, it took quite a bit of convincing but it did mean I didn't need to watch what I said around him.

Floating my ice cream over for a lick, I frowned at it, finding it melted already. Damn it. I floated it over and dropped it into a nearby garbage can instead of trying to deal with the mess..

Uncorking the cider instead and taking a sip, I frowned at it before very carefully casting the cooling spell with a minimum amount of power behind it, chilling it before taking another sip. Much better.

Cooling was much, much easier than freezing... I could do freezing now, but it was still tricky. Just cooling also didn't need that much power behind it and as such, even if cast wrong, would not make it go boom.

“So, what's up?” I asked the pegasus as I corked the bottle again.

He yawned, “Not much. Heading to Cloudsdale tomorrow... need to do a test to regain my basic weather license.”

“...Weather license? I thought you were going to be a guard? You went to weather school?”

Cloud shook his head, “Nope. But I did go to flight camp which teaches the basics and grants you the basic license. You need to renew every few years to be allowed to work weather in a emergency. Sometimes a storm gets out of control and they call in everyone qualified. Besides... all pegasus guards need to have their basic weather license. For the same reason.”

I nodded, “Ah... Well that make sense. I kind of wish I could visit Cloudsdale, it must be a amazing sight.”

“You can.”

“What? But it's made from clouds!”

He nodded, “Well, it is. But as long as you are inside, the clouds are compacted so anyone can stand on them.” he said explained, “How else could we have things inside? They would fall straight through!”

...That made a lot of sense...

“Besides,” he continued, “Unicorns can use cloud walking spells.”

“I'm not the best at magic though. But that is something I really need to look into.” I answered with a grin, “That would be so awesome!”

Cloud stretched his wings before relaxing again, “Cloudsdale is pretty great. I did finally get around to reading that book of yours by the way.”

“How was it?”

“Awesome. I'll finish it tonight I think and pick up the next one before heading out tomorrow.”

“Glad you liked it.”

He nodded, “That Death Island was a great idea. Can't wait to see if they manage to destroy it. Have you started writing the next book?”

“The third and last book is not started yet.” I said with a shrug, “It's not long since I released the second so I'm taking a couple of months to just relax and write some other stuff, practice my magic and such. Clear my head, you know.

“Cool, cool.”

I liked writing different things after a while. Might throw together some actually fully original short stories.

Then a thought struck me about something I read a while ago, “Say... when in Cloudsdale, think you could pick me up a bottle of rainbow?”

“Rainbow? Sure I know a place that sells them for parties, why?”

“I'm curious. Never seen liquid rainbow before.”

According to the book, they were actually drinkable even if it also said they didn't taste good. I just wanted to see what a bottled rainbow looked like.

Chapter 40

Day 495.

I have tasted the rainbow and it's amazing. No, seriously, the liquid rainbow they make in Cloudsdale is the most amazing hotsauce in the world.

Most pony food is not that spicy and even that is only moderately spicy. I like things a bit stronger from time to time.

If I'm not crying, it's not spicy!

In bad news though, it's getting cold outside, there is snow scheduled for tomorrow. Almost one and a half years here and that's 'still' odd.

Manually controlled weather.

Now when I think about it though, I have not written in this thing for a month. I really should try to do it more often or I might get out of the habit.

...Anyway, about a month until the next holiday. The winter holiday known as Hearth's Warming Eve. I actually didn't pay attention to most of the holidays last year, I was to busy feeling sorry for myself to feel like celebrating anything.

This time_ I intend to pay attention to all of them. This one is a rather nice one as well, focusing on ponies coming together in friendship and the unification of the tribes(subspecies).

I have no idea if it's an actual history lesson or a myth, but I like the sentiment behind it. Kind of like Christmas back home on Earth.

I'm not a religious person and neither was anyone in my family other than possibly one of my grandmothers. But we still celebrated Christmas and the other holidays like it... simply because it was an excuse to gather the entire family, exchange gifts and eat good food.

Hearth's Warming Eve sounds really similar in that way. Gather your friends, give each other gifts and eat good food.

That's something I can always get behind.

In other, more urgent news, I'm about to head out. Swift graduated to full guard(Private) yesterday and there is a party planned for... five minutes ago. Crap, I'm late.

I'll make this quick then. Not much for parties, but I'm going to this one. It's bound to be more fun, even if most people there will be the people in his training class.

The rest of his training will apparently be on the job, they have the 'boot camp' combined with being paired with an experienced guard after graduation for another year.

Seems to work.

Need to run, write more later if I remember or have something to write.

Page, Signing off in a hurry.



Why does my mouth taste like something curled up and died in it? Possibly a worm from Dune considering how dry it felt.

Forcing my eyes open, I regretted it as I cringed at the light. Fucking hell. I should have known better than to get into a drinking contest with a bunch of soldiers.

Even half drunk, I should have known that was a bad idea.

Wait, this isn't my place?

I froze and then checked behind me before letting out a relived sigh. I was on a couch and not in bed with someone.

Struggling to sit up, I rubbed my head and yawned again. Ouch... fuck, I hate hangovers. That's why I never drink that much.

Now where the hell am I?

The place looked like it was quite nice and it seem like I was in the livingroom, sunlight was streaming through the window behind me illuminating the room.

Paintings, books, a fireplace and a table by the couch. Nice light colors. Not that the place couldn't use a cleaning right now, everything was out of place and there was more than a few bottles sitting around.

A snore tugged at my attention and I looked over the armrest to see a light grey pegasus passed out on the floor, cuddling a bottle.

What was his name again, he was one of Swifts coworkers? Precision Strike or something.

Was it his place?

“Good Morning!” a way too cheerful voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to see a blue unicorn trot out of one of the doors to the side, closing it behind her.

“Good Morning.” I managed to answer, “Minuette, right?”

“Got it in one!” she answered with a grin, “Want some breakfast?”

The very idea was slightly nauseating, but I nodded. I knew I would feel better after I got some food and water, “..Yes please. Where am I?”

She giggled, “The bar closed and we needed somewhere to continue the party. Couldn't exactly go to Swift's parents place so we went to mine. Don't you remember?”

“I might have had a drink or five too many.” I groaned, “Sorry about that. Where is Swift anyway?”

She grinned and motioned towards the door she came from with her head as she moved to what I assumed was the kitchen, “My bedroom. Still out like a light.”

Heh. Lucky bastard.

Struggling off the ouch, I was suddenly very happy to have four legs for once as I grabbed a couple of bottles to bring to the trash before following his girlfriend into the kitchen.

Least I could do would be to help with breakfast.

AN// A large thanks to Sebazu for betaing this section.

Chapter 41

“...I hate winters.” I grumbled, shivering slightly against the cold despite the warming spell and scarf around my neck, looking up at the skies, “But you are right, the cold air does make the stars clearer so sometimes it's worth it.”

Luna smiled, looking completely unbothered by the weather, “I have almost forgotten what it's like being cold. I have not felt it properly since... since I became a Alicorn.” she admitted and shifted a bit closer to put her wing over my back, “How is this?”

I gave her a small embarrassed look but leaned into her warmth, “Better. Thank you.”

She grinned at that and held me close for a second, “But maybe it would be better to head inside where it's warm. It is getting late and I really should get those papers done.”


Luna moved her wing of my back and poked my side with it with a smile, “I like your company, Page. I really appreciate that you stay up sometimes like this. Especially today.” she said as she opened the doors to allow us back into her tower to the roaring fireplace and the smell of... was that hot cocoa? When did that arrive?

Letting the doors close behind us I unwrapped my scarf, “It's not like it's a problem if I sleep till noon or even later and I don't have a job as such. I can do my writing whenever, really. All I need is something to write on and with.” before I grinned, “And preferable a ton of caffeine.”

The Princess nodded and grabbed a cup of steaming chocolate on her way to her desk, her blue magic aura snatched up the first of the papers as she eyed through it, “Extra funding to Celestias school for gifted unicorns? Why in the world did this end up in my pile?”

I just shrugged and nosed at my own cup of chocolate, jumping onto the couch to lay down before taking a careful sip.


A bit too hot.

Putting it back on the table, I pulled a paper and quill from my bag, settling down to do some of the writing equivalent of doodling.

This was... nice.

The crackle of fireplace, the sound of quills against paper and the wind howling outside the tower as snow started to fall.

Maybe I was wrong about winters. As long as I didn't need to be outside in the cold, this was rather nice after all.

Finishing the short story a couple of hours later, I read through it before dropping it on the table.

“It's done?” Luna asked as she looked up from her paperwork.

“Mhmm. You can read it later if you want, it's nothing serious though, just a couple of random scenes. Just some literary doodling.” I explained before I tried my hot chocolate again, it had cooled enough to drink by now.

She shook her head and gave her offending paperwork a look that might have set it on fire before signing the last one.

Finishing that part of her work, she jumped out of her chair and made her way over to join me on the couch, laying down opposite from me on the couch, “Be glad you do not have to do those. I miss the time before bureaucracy.”

I grimaced at that, “Don't say that, I have a meeting with an accountant tomorrow, we are trying to figure out my taxes.” before I gave Luna a look and a poke in the chest with my hoof, “Robber Baron.”

That got a laugh from her, “We will attempt to not leave you too poor.” she teased, sticking her tongue out at me.

“It's not the taxes I mind, it's the paperwork.” I grumbled.

“If it helps, we 'are' trying to simplify the taxcode. It has grown all out of proportion during the last thousand years. I'm just trying to find a way to do it without having half the nobility cry bloody murder over their 'exceptions' disappearing.”

I nodded, “My ink supply for future years thanks you, your highness.” I teased back with a small playful bow before I grinned, “So, going to watch the Hearth's Warming Eve play? Isn't Twilight Sparkle and her friends putting it on this year?”

Luna nodded, “'Tia asked them to. I believe they will do quite well. Personally, I will not be attending. I find it somewhat... distasteful.”

“It's not what really happened?”

The Princess sighed and shrugged one wing, “It is... for the most part. But is a very cleaned up version, lacking the battles and full war between all three tribes. A lot of horrible things happened during that time, before the unification. And to have it all summed up in a play about Friendship, even if it essentially ended with the three tribes uniting to fight of the Wendingos, it was not by hugs in a frozen cave.” she explained before she smiled, “It might have 'started' with hugs in a frozen cave, but it was a long, hard journey for all three tribes before they trusted each other. It took many years and even now there are a few tribalists that see the others as inferior.”

I nodded, “I see what you mean with a play not being able to capture the difficulty of it all. But I think I should go see it at least once.”

“So you should.” She agreed and sipped at her chocolate again, “As I understand it, it 'is' a good play even if it does skip over or simplify a lot.”

Using my magic, I floated my bag over and pulled out a package, handing it over to Luna's magic, “Happy Hearth's Warming Eve. It's nothing much, but I wanted to give you something.”

She blinked and then smiled, “You didn't need to get me anything.” she said softly and unwrapped it to reveal a book.

“It's a collection of short stories. Some romance, some adventure, some comedy. The only copy in existance. I got my publisher to put me in contact with somebody who could bind it for me.”

It actually cost quite a bit to have it done as a special project, but I know how much Luna likes stories and I wanted to give her something unique.

Luna flicked through it with a happy smile before putting her cup of chocolate down and shifting closer and before I knew it, her lips brushed against my cheek, “Thank you, Page. I love it.” she whispered before pulling back, her wings lifted high in he air, “I have something for you as well.” she said as I struggled not to blush.

Why the hell was I blushing! It was a kiss on the cheek!

I looked on in surprise as she used her magic to pull a small wrapped box from behind a couple of books on her shelf and floating it over for me to catch in my own magic, “You didn't need to...”

She grinned, “Apparently neither of us did.”

Chuckling, I started to unwrap it before opening the box, before folding my ears back in surprise. Sitting in the box was a small and simple silver medallion on a silver chain with a crescent moon engraved on it, “Thank you. Wow.” I said quietly as I lifted it from the box, holding it up against the light.

Luna smiled and took it from my magic before putting the chain around my neck, “There.” she said, “It symbolizes my trust in you. As long as you wear this, you will have full access to the castle. Everywhere but my sisters private chambers.”


“Luna... That's...”

“You are my best friend, Page. I want you to be able to come and go as you wish. But I am aware that it will cause people to talk about us again and that you dislike the attention.” Luna said softly and looked down, “I understand if you do not wish to wear it.”

“Let them talk.”

She smiled happily at that and then looked towards the window and the howling storm outside, getting a thoughtful look for a moment, “You can not return home in these conditions, it seem like the weather team might have lost control of the storm. We will call a maid and have her show you to a guestroom.”

Looking at the snow whirling past the window, I couldn't help but agree, “I think that might be for the best. If I try to make it home in that, you might find a pony-sicle tomorrow.”

Chapter 42

The visit to the accountant had been a headache and a half, but we pretty much had it squared away now.

Instead of returning back home, though, I took a detour back to the castle. While Luna would be deep asleep by now in her sound bubble and I didn't really want to abuse this medallion thing, I really couldn't resist the allure of the royal archives.

More specifically, the Royal Guard Training Manual (Unicorn edition). It contained spells normally not available to the general population due to being dangerous or difficult.

I really wanted to be able to defend myself better if I needed to. This might be a lot more peaceful than my old world, but there had already been two major attacks and I hated being stuck in that corner as Discord's magic went wild.

If I had better shields, I would at least been able to TRY to help.

Swift would likely have let me look through his copy if I asked, but I suspected that he might have gotten in trouble if it was discovered and I didn't want that.

Flipping the page, I made my way along the marble corridor as I eyed through a section about double-layering shields. It was quite fascinating really, if nothing I would be able to pull off anytime soon.

I might actually have the precision needed by now to start trying it if I was reading those equations and spell diagrams right, but the power needed... from what I'd seen, I was about average for a unicorn. Which is way less impressive than it sounds if you look at the average unicorn's power.

Most never learned more than a couple of simple spells like telekinesis, light, warmth. Maybe how to light fires at most... unless their special talent had something to do with magic, they really didn't do much with it.

There was a reason to why ponies like Twilight Sparkle were special. Element of Magic indeed. Like comparing my firecracker with a tactical nuke.

Okay, that's a bit unfair. I was at least a hand grenade... not that you could tell in comparison. Add in that her special talent was actually magic...

Yeah, I'd be glad if I got up to the level where I could match the things she could do when she was ten.

The power for a double-layered shield was at least five times that of a normal shield spell. I might be able to do it if I used everything I had and even then just for a couple of moments.

A glance out of the window as I walked past revealed the frozen and snow covered castle grounds.

Ugh, I really didn't want to go out there again. I wondered if it would be possible to try to convince Celestia that we didn't need winters. Equestria could be a tropical country!

...No, didn't think so either.

Putting off heading out for now, I walked over and jumped up to lay down on a padded bench in the alcove by the next window.

Maybe if I waited and read for a couple of hours, I might get the motivation to go outside. I actually felt a bit bad for the guards that had to stand outside or patrol all day. Even a warming spell only did so much...

But what do I know, maybe their armor is enchanted. At least for unicorns and earth ponies, I know pegasi are cold resistant.

I tilted my head in thought with a small frown, starting to flip through the book, looking for a survival section. Maybe they had more advanced warming spells in here somewhere...

There you are.

Smiling to myself, I started to read through the spell equation. Oh... this really was quite a bit more comple-

“Blank Page! Hey!”

I looked up in surprise and then grinned. “Twilight Sparkle. Hello there.”

The purple unicorn smiled and headed over. “How have you been?”

Shrugging, I put my book down with my magic. “Pretty good, pretty good. You?”

“Brilliant.” she said with a grin before she gave me a glare. “I can't believe you did that to me!” she exclaimed and poked my chest with her hoof.

I blinked at her in surprise. “...What did I do!?”

“Make Sky Walker and Princess Leia siblings!”

Oh that. Oh yeah, Twilight shipped them for the first book. That was pretty funny.

“It made sense in story.” I simply answered with a shrug.

That still earned me a unhappy look before she sighed. “Fine. I still liked the book. The twist with Darth Vader was really good, I didn't see it coming. But to have Sky lose a wing...”

I just grinned. “Glad you liked it. So, I heard you are going to be in the Hearth's Warming Eve play this evening.”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah. I'm a bit nervous, but it will be fun. We have practiced it for a while now.”

“I'm sure it will go fine. I know I'm going to watch it at least... but you could not pay me enough to get me on any kind of stage.” I admitted. “I'm not good with public speaking.”

She grinned. “Neither am I, to be honest. You get used to it, though.”

“I suppose. It's not something I really want to practice enough to get comfortable with.”

Twilight nodded and picked my book up in her magic. “So what are you reading?” before she frowned and continued; “I thought these were for Royal Guards only. At least, that's what my brother said.”

“It's also in the royal archives. I'm trying to figure out the warming spell... I hate winters.”

The purple unicorn smiled. “They do get a bit cold at times. Mind if I look through this?”

I shrugged. “Not at all. But don't you have full access to the archives yourself?”

She nodded, her nose already buried in the book as she flipped through it. “Yes, but I mostly focused on the magic sections.”

Figure, I guess.

Twilight then looked up and reached out to poke my moon medallion. “I have not seen one of these for a long time... and never the moon version. I know Princess Celestia have some with a sun on them. I didn't know they were used anymore.”

I shrugged and looked down at it. “You know of them?”

She nodded, her tone shifting slightly to something more lecturing. “In the past, the Princesses have handed those out to certain ambassadors and heralds. Ponies they trust to speak for them if necessary.”


Twilight nodded again. “Back in those days, I would likely wear one with a sun on it to show my alignment with Princess Celestia and that she trusts me to speak for her if necessary. Even ponies that didn't know me would know the symbol.” she explained before frowning as she looked at my expression. “Princess Luna didn't explain all this?”

“...No. No she didn't. She just said it would let me come and go in the castle as I wished.”

Twilight shrugged before looking thoughtful. “Well, it does that as well, the pony wearing one might be able to get to talk to them at a moments notice without all the guard checks and such... And honestly, nowadays that's the biggest use. I'm not actually sure if the old laws about them are still in effect. I only know they even existed because Princess Celestia told me about them. You have to ask Princess Luna.”

“So what's stopping somepony from stealing this from around my neck and starting trouble?” I couldn't help but ask.

Twilight grinned. “I asked Princess Celestia the same when she explained them to me. Look here.” she said and used her magic to lift it off my neck and put it around hers instead. The silver of the medallion turned from silver to glowing red. “If the wrong pony wears it, it glows red, see?” She said before she put it back around my neck and the glow disappeared.

I looked down at the silver moon as I lifted it with my hoof. Luna was putting a lot of trust in me.

“Oh, I need to run. I wanted to visit Princess Celestia before I needed to get down to the stage. I'll see you later, Page.”

“Yeah. See you later, Twilight.”

I had feeling I had to go yell at Luna about not telling me everything.


For now, though... I dropped the medallion back around my neck and picked the book back up. Let's see if I can't figure out that warming spell.

Chapter 43


The wooden staff hit mine and I deflected it to the right, firing off a blast, forcing the pegasus to dive out of the way and disengage to try to use his mobility to get around me.

I didn't let him.

Grabbing his staff with my magic, I gave it a hard tug to the end furthest away from me, putting Thunder into a spin as he flapped away from me.

He quickly tucked, letting go of the staff to recover his balance and landed back on all fours only to just barely dodge out of the way of my next magic blast.

The next one was already on its way before he landed.

Even so, his wings almost got him out of the way... but only almost. He took it on the wing and landed hard on the packed dirt of the training yard.

The air was crisp and clear, our breaths forming white clouds as we stopped.

But even without any kind of warming spell, I wasn't cold. When moving this much my coat was plenty, even against the frigid winter air.

Thunder Cloud laid still for a while as we both caught our breath and I dropped the staffs onto the ground, sitting down and letting my magic rest.

Damn, keeping three things active at once was a pain in the fucking horn. Even when two of them were simple telekinesis and the last was basically the simplest 'offensive' spell there was, about as effective as a smack to the face at full power.

Cloud climbed back onto his hooves and shook the dust off, flapping his wings a couple of times to clear the worst of them before he folded them again. Even then, his normally very light coat was more of a greyish brown now. “You know, I liked this a lot better before you got good at that whole magic thing.” he complained with a grin.

I chuckled and tossed his wooden staff over to him and he caught it with his hoof. “You still won two out of three.”

Only reason I got him now was that I was able to get him at range and only reason I managed that was because he had gotten tired.

Normally, he didn't give me time to focus on casting anything but telekinesis on my own staff.

He nodded. “The longer it goes on, the higher the chance that you will get the advantage. I tire... your magic doesn't.”

“That's not quite true.” a voice interrupted and I looked over as Swift walked onto the field. “Unicorns do get tired from casting, especially when doing many things at once. It takes a lot of focus.”

“No work today?” I asked, floating my staff up, planting it end down at the ground.

He grinned. “Not today. Have the day off so I thought I would check what you two were up to. Have a thing with Minuette later, but I have a a bit.”

Thunder grinned. “A thing, huh?”

“What can I say, mares like the armor.” Swift answered, looking quite pleased with himself. Rather too pleased with himself, if I'm to be honest, so I tossed my staff at him.

He easily caught it with his magic. “You have been getting better, though. Last I practiced with you, there was no way you would have kept three spells going at once.”

“It took a lot, even with all three being simple, especially mixing spells like that.” I admitted. “I can't keep it up for long before I get a headache.”

Swift nodded. “Most can't. That's one reason unicorns are always deployed in pairs in the guard. One focuses on defense so one can focus on offense. Or, if that's not possible, with an earth pony or pegasus.” he explained. “To keep a possible enemy from getting close and give them time to cast.”

I considered that for a moment. “Make sense. I still can't keep a shield up and use anything else at the same time.” I admitted. “Takes too much focus and power.”

“Don't worry about it. Most guard unicorns can't. Me neither.” Swift shrugged, floated the staff over to the rack and dropped it. “Hence... deployed in pairs.”

“So where were you deployed?” Cloud asked, heading over to put his own staff back. “If you can tell us, that is?”

Swift hesitated before he shrugged. “I don't see it mattering. Mostly I just patrol the city. I'm just glad I wasn't transferred to some other city... or worse, to one of the borders.” He smiled and continued; “I had hoped to be assigned to the castle, that is the most prestigious posting.”

Cloud nodded. “I hope I will get to stay in the city too.”

Swift shook his head. “Sorry to say this, Cloud, but odds are that they need you somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I know.” The pegasus sighed, before he looked over at me and explained; “There are a limited amount of Pegasi assigned to cities. A lot of us end up at the borders or running messages back and forth. Especially those of us that don't have a special talent that make us especially useful.” he said and glanced back at his flank which had a pair of crossed swords on it. “Sad to say, being good at dueling with a sword wouldn't exactly get much use. My dad was really lucky to end up in Canterlot.”

I slowly nodded. “Ah. Well, that does make sense. Well, could be worse, you could end up pulling a royal carriage.”

Cloud blinked at me before he grinned. “You are kidding, right? That's a great honor! It puts you directly on the Princesses' royal guard!”

...That's actually a very good point.

Hmm, that's a thought.

“Say...” I started to say. “Signing up to the guard could have you assigned basically anywhere, right?”

They both nodded so I continued; “Now, this might be me being ignorant about the structure of the guard, but could you not sign up to Princess Luna's nightguard instead? They are technically a separate branch, right? And so far, only assigned to the castle?”

They stared at me for a moment before Swift sat down and facehoofed. “...Why didn't I think of that!?”

“The same reason I get paid a lot for sitting inside in a warm, comfortable room with a cup of hot tea, writing, while you are paid very little to stand out in the cold all day?” I answered with a grin. “Intelligence and creativity.”

That got me a snowball to the face, but so, so worth it.

Chapter 44

Day 556.

Winter is over. It's amazing how fast the seasons change here. It's literally snowy one day and then the next Celestia's sun shines warmer, the leaves begin to grow on the trees and the birds start chirping.

I don't think I will ever get over that.

That, however, meant that there is another holiday coming up in a couple of days soon. One I find more terrifying than Nightmare Night.

Hearts and Hooves Day.

I had to do something for Luna. It just felt... wrong not to. I mean, it's not like she is my marefriend or anything, but she is my best friend.


Page, signing out.


Daring Doo jumped for her rope, her hooves scrambling to grab it but it was slippery from the wet jungle air and she slid slowly down the slippery slope into the abyss below. Just as she felt the...

The guard cleared his throat and I looked up from where I had been sitting on the couch in the small side room, putting the book away, moments before the door to the throne room opened and Luna walked out, a pair of guards following her discretely.

She gave me a surprised look when she spotted me, “Page? What are you doing here? It's really late.”

I smiled and jumped of the couch to trot up to her, “Early, actually. I got up an hour or so ago. So how was night court?”

It was technically closer to early than late as it was around four in the morning.

Luna gave a curious look, “Slow. Eight petitioners today, one case of 'who owned a property' they didn't want to take it to the courts.”

“Anything interesting?” I asked as I walked along, the guards very carefully ignoring my presence.

“...Nothing especially.” she said as she eyed me, “What are you up to?”

“Who, me?”

Luna narrowed eyes suspiciously at me, “Yes, you.”

“Are you free? As I understand it, it is time for your dinner now.”

She nodded, “Yes... I'm actually on my way to the dinner hall now. Why?”

I smiled up at her, “Want to come with me instead?”

“Very well...” she answered, following me as I turned the corner, her guards scrambling to keep up, “Where are we going?”

“You will see. So who got the property?” I asked, hoping to distract her.

Luna frowned, “Oh. Neither. Neither could prove they owned it, so it defaulted to the crown.”

I snorted at that, “I can't imagine they were happy with that!”

She grinned, “They were not. I suspect my sister will get several angry letters about it, but it that is how the law is written.” she said before she sighed, “It seems people are not used to having a second ruler.”

“There was a thousand years without one. It will take some time to get used to... more than a couple of years.” I said with a shrug as we exited the castle and onto the castle grounds.

Luna shifted her wings with a rustle of feathers, “I suppose.” she said as she followed me out onto the grass, “Where are we going?”

I grinned, “I'm leading you to an ambush of zombie ninja pirate assassins. Down with the tyrannical government and all that.”

Her guards actually tensed up at that but Luna giggled, “Are you sure you have the right sister?”

Turning I gave her a theatrical look as if to look closer, “Curses! Foiled again!”

That got a laugh from her, “You shouldn't tease my guards like that.” she then chided me as we rounded a couple of bushes to reveal a blanket and a basket of food I prepared earlier.

“So... what do you think?” I asked a bit nervously, “I just figured.. It's Hearts and Hooves Day and I just... kind of wanted to do something special for my best friend.”

“I love it.” Luna replied softly and gave my closest ear a nuzzle, “Thank you.”

“...Wait until you try the food before you thank me.” I said, flicking my ear before looking up at her, “I'm not the best in the world at cooking, but even I shouldn't be able to screw up a salad and some sandwiches too badly.... but no guarantees.”

Luna grinned and settled down at the blanket, “I am sure it will be perfectly fine.”

I looked around, noticing that her guards had gone up into smoke before I settled down to unpack the food and cider.

It really wasn't anything special. A variety of sandwiches and the closest I had so far been able to get to a proper pasta salad.

Luna reached to pick a sandwich up with her magic, her field sparkling against mine before I let go. She peeked into the sandwich, “Tomato, cucumber and hay. Nice.” she murmured and took a bite with a smile, “I think you underestimate your cooking abilities.”

“Bow to my ability to make simple sandwiches. Hey, would this make it possible for me to put 'royal chef' on my resume?”

She stuck her tongue out at me for that one, “I think there are a bit more qualifications than 'tricked royalty into eating a thing I made one time'.”

I grinned and relaxed, getting a sandwich for myself, “So what else do you have planned for today?”

“Not overly much until I lower the moon. I had planned to do some paperwork, but nothing especially urg...” before she went cross eyed as I tapped my hoof against her nose.


Her eyes went wide, “W-what?” she stuttered in surprise as she stared at me.

I just smiled and carefully reached out with my hoof and she followed it with her eyes before I tapped her nose gently again, “Boop.”

“Did you just 'boop' the royal nose!?” she exclaimed in mock outrage.

Grinning, I slowly inched my hoof closer again.

Luna narrowed her eyes at me, “Don't you dare...”


She pounced!

Chapter 45

I moved slowly and carefully across the grass, the shadows all around seeming darker than normal, the stars shimmering far above.

At least the moonlight gave enough light to see by.

Now, where are you?

The grass was cool beneath my hooves and I froze. What was that? A small sound, feathers against branches.

My prey was to the right.

Crouching down slightly, I started to sneak along the grass. Now, this was a moment where I missed actual feet... even if it was soft and slightly wet grass, hooves were not really made for keeping quiet.

But she was sneaky and most likely had better senses than me so I needed to be careful.

Narrowing my eyes to make it less likely that she would spot me by the whites of my eyes, I thanked everything that my coat or mane was not as florescent as some others I have seen. It gave me a chance to not get seen as easily.

Careful, careful... there.

A shadow moving in the shadow beneath that bush.

Currently in pony form or not, my species consisted of greatly evolved predator apes. Sure, we did our best work with fire and tools during daytime, but I would be damned if I let a herbivore out sneak me just because it was nig-

A rustle of leaves to my left caused me to freeze, slowly looking into the bush next to me to see a pair of large, light green eyes and I whispered the first thing that came to mind. “Clever girl...”

The Princess of the Night pounced, hitting me from the side before pinning me with a grin. “Got you!”


She grinned down at me, and I nodded and couldn't help but smile back. “You did. How did you do that? I saw you.”

“You saw a shadow.” she answered and moved off me, laying down on the grass next to me. “A simple bit of magic.”

“...I suppose that's my own fault, not setting any rules.” I chuckled and rolled onto my stomach next to her as she rested her wing across my back.

Spring or not, it was still a bit chilly in the middle of the night so I was not complaining. This was... nice. Warm.

Besides, it was Luna. It made it... I don't know. Special.

I glanced at her as she looked up at her moon, her mane almost invisible against the night sky. Only way to see it was because it was moving.


She smiled and turned her gaze to me. “Thank you for this. After today, I really needed it.”

“My pleasure.” I answered before I smiled back. “Luna...?”


“Remember when I asked if I was courting you?”

The Princess's smile widened. “Yes?”

“That was the wrong question, wasn't it?”

She nodded happily. “It was. Which is the right question?”

“Are you courting me?”

“That's the right question.” she giggled and leaned down to give my ear a nuzzle as she whispered; “And the answer is: Yes.”

I blushed slightly. “Sorry it took me so long to figure out.”

That earned me a gentle ear bite. “Well, you are just a stallion, you have to take that into account.” she teased before letting go and I flicked my ear, smiling up at her before shifting a bit closer to lean against her side.

She really was amazing. Wonder how much she had seen in her time? How many people she had met. To think that she really wanted to be with me...

Who cared if she wasn't human.

Luna blinked and looked down at me before she smiled again. “What?”

I grinned slightly and looked away. “There is no way to ask this politely... I was wondering what you have seen during your life. So many things you must have experienced... and there was a question that came to mind and I have no idea how to ask it.”

She raised her eyebrows in question. “What did you want to know? I'll do my best to answer.”

“How old are you?”

That brought a giggle from her. “You know, Page... I'm actually not sure. Mainly because that's before the invention of the first calendar and that was three calendar systems ago.”


I blinked in surprise. “That's... actually a bit longer than I thought. I figured a couple of thousand years at most.”

Luna shrugged her wings, looking thoughtful. “I'm guessing somewhere between, perhaps, somewhere around five thousand? But I have no idea, I could be off by a thousand in either direction. The first calendar of any real accuracy was only invented three or so thousand years ago.”

“...You could be as old as metalworking?” I asked, looking up at her in surprise. Wow, she looked good for her age.

“I thought it was considered rude to point out a lady's age.”


Luna snorted and pulled me closer with her wing. “Page, It's better than the awe it usually gets which is why my sister and I don't usually go around proclaiming our ages. We get enough of that normally. After the first couple of thousand years, it loses some of its charm.”


She grinned and gave my ear a nuzzle and I flicked it, leaning softly against her side again as I closed my eyes. This was... very nice.

We stayed like that for a moment before I looked up at her. She had a far-away look in her eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked after moment of watching her.

Luna blinked and then looked down at me before smiling. “Just remembering.” she said softly before she sighed, “The other times I have done... this.”

I considered that for a moment before I grinned and rolled onto my back to look up at her. “That must have been a lot of memories.” before I groaned and continued; “and I can not stop saying the wrong things today!”

Luna laughed softly and grinned down at me. “Actually, I believe you would be surprised. My sister was always the one to get romantically involved.”

I gave her a surprised look. “Five thousand years?”

She smiled and poked me with her hoof. “I have had plenty of lovers over the years, Page. Hundreds. Thousands, even. But I have only done... only had what we have... twice before.” she said softly.

“Is that what we are?” I asked her just as softly. She really was beautiful against the night sky like that.

Luna smiled, actually looking a bit nervous. “We could be.”

I lifted my head and gave her a small nuzzle as my answer.

So what if she isn't human? She is Luna. My Luna. That's what mattered.

“Tell me about them?” I asked as I relaxed back against the grass, looking up at her.

She nodded. “Thunder Bolt was first. He was a pegasus, a couple of years older than me.” she said softly as she settled down next to me with a smile. “I couldn't have been more than fifteen years old, it was before my ascension. In many ways, he was the opposite of you. Brash, action before considerations. The Element of Loyalty... Rainbow Dash actually reminds me a bit of him, they have the same kind of personality. But he was romantic around me. He... loved watching the stars with me.”

“So do I.”

Luna grinned and nuzzled me. “I know.”

“So what happened?”

She sighed softly. “We were happy for a while, but he died only a few winters later. There was a war and he fell to the spell of a unicorn. I... don't even remember what the war was about. Land, I think. They usually were.”

“I'm sorry.”

Luna nodded and relaxed again, looking down at me. “The second was... some two thousand years ago. Her name was Flower Burst. She was a unicorn. We met when she started working the royal gardens. The one unicorn among a staff of earth ponies.” she said softly. “She was so brave and so gentle. I still remember her laying under the tree in my private garden at night, reading by the light of her horn. That's how I got to know her, I went out to talk to her.”

I nodded, letting her continue.

“She was so hesitant. So... nervous about saying or doing anything wrong.” Luna sighed softly before she smiled down at me. “She was just so shy. It took months before she would even look me in the eyes when we talked. It grew from there and before I knew it... I loved her.”

I nodded again. “She sounds nice.”

“She was. We had many years together, but we lost her in the end. She reached 98 years of age.” Luna said sadly. “I knew that it would happen. It always does... I never understood how Celestia could handle it, again and again.”

“...Your sister falls in love easily?”

Luna nodded. “I was actually surprised when I returned and she didn't have a consort.”

A thought struck me and I frowned, remembering what I saw in that doughnut shop. “Have anyone told Twilight Sparkle?”

That brought a playful grin from the Princess. “I suspect that it's a possibility that she might find out on her own in a couple of years. Perhaps we should have a little revenge on my sister for that rumor and tell her early.”

We shared a laugh at that before I smiled sadly up at her. “Luna?”


“Will you remember me in a thousand years?”

She blinked down at me, her eyes shinier than normal in the moonlight as she whispered. “My Page... I will remember you as long as I draw breath.” before she leaned in with a gentle smile, her lips brushing against mine.

Lifting my head from the grass, I kissed her back.

Chapter 46

“Well, that was embarrassing.” I chuckled as I entered Luna's quarters with a grin.

“I'm just glad it was Celestia and that it was only kissing.” Luna giggled as she closed the door behind us with her magic, her wing still resting across my back. “Imagine if it had been a maid or... Blueblood?”

I looked at her for a moment before we laughed. “Well, I suppose he would stop being a problem after that because there is no way I see him surviving the shock.”

She stuck her tongue out at me. “Indeed. And it's not like it was even the worst thing my sister walked in on me doing.”

I nodded and looked out through the windows of the balcony doors, the Sun rising quickly. At least things didn't go further than kisses and cuddles.

That had been bad enough when Celestia interrupted us to remind Luna that it was time to lower the moon.

Yeah, that was embarrassing.

Giving Luna a curious look, I stopped. “...Not the worst thing she caught you doing? Now I'm curious.”

Luna grinned playfully. “Wouldn't you like to know~” she teased and poked me with a wing before she shrugged her wings and folded them against her sides. “Well... trying to take over the world for one thing.”

“...Yeah, that would do it I suppose.”

She giggled and then kissed my cheek. “What were you thinking?” she teased playfully.

I gave her a flat look, drawing another giggle before she grinned.

“I should go to bed soon.” Luna sighed. “It's getting a bit late, but we should discuss the wedding first.”


“Wedding...?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes and jumped up to lay down on the couch. “Not ours, you silly pony. Cadance and Shining Armor!”



“You don't need to look 'that' relieved,” she teased with a sly grin, patting the couch in front of her.

“Sorry, but you startled me there for a moment,” I admitted as I joined her on the couch, laying down to face her. “So when is this wedding?”

She frowned and tilted her head. “I would have thought you had heard by now.”

“I don't exactly hang around the castle overly much when I'm not with you, you know.”

“...I guess. Anyway, it's planned to take place in about a month and preparations are going to start next week. I was wondering... want to go to it as my date?” She asked quietly. “I know Cadance and Shining Armor plan to invite you anyway.”

“I would love to go as your date,” I answered with a smile. “I don't really care if people talk... and I suspect they will no matter what we do.”

Luna nodded. “'Tia and I have always been at least somewhat discreet about this kind of thing, my sister more than myself. Nopony likes having their private matters discussed by everypony else,” she explained before she smiled and nuzzled me softly.

I nuzzled her cheek in return. “I would hardly mind sneaking around. Could even be fun.”

She grinned at that, “Oh, it can be. But I doubt it's needed. Everypony already 'knows' you and I are together thanks to my sister's little scheme so it'll hardly be a surprise if we show up together. We should just keep anything but soft nuzzles out of the public eye. It's easier for everypony.”

“You are the expert, Luna. I'll follow your lead on this one." I chuckled. "The stars know I dislike attention as it is, I don't want any more of it!”

“Page, I think you might get it no matter what you want,” Luna said softly. “Even with keeping things discreet... well, the 'rumor' will be confirmed. Ponies will talk. There will be journalists.”

I considered that for a moment before I shrugged. “Like I said on Hearth's Warming Eve, Let them talk. You are worth it. But I don't really want to add to it unless I need to.”

That got me another brilliant smile and a small nuzzle. “I should head to bed and get some sleep... and you better get going or we might end up moving a bit faster than you are comfortable with. I know this entire 'not human' thing is difficult for you.”

I nodded and nuzzled back. “I don't care what you are. You are my Luna. That's what matters to me.”

She actually blushed slightly at that and then pulled back. “Even so.”

“Even so,” I agreed and jumped off the couch before winking and giving her a playful bow. “Your Highness, I wish you a pleasant slumber and very nice dreams indeed.”

Luna smiled softly. “I'm sure they will be quite enjoyable,” she promised before she jumped down and hugged me tight.

I hugged back as she whispered into my ear. “Now go, before I ask you to stay.”

Grinning, I dropped back on all fours, giving her a wink before I walked out and the door closed behind me.

Sighing softly, I looked back at the door for a moment. This had been the best night ever.

“Sir!” The right batpony guarding the door exclaimed and saluted me.

I gave him a nod, “Carry on,” and started down the stairs. I knew better than try to salute back, I didn't have a rank and I could just fuck it up anyway.

...Maybe I should ask Swift to teach me so I could at least return salutes properly, especially if they are going to keep doing that.

Hell, I didn't even know what the protocol was here. They guarded my Luna, they deserved my respect, I wanted to do the right thing.

Huh, when did that happen. When did she go from 'Luna' to 'My Luna'?

...Probably around the time I decided to make her dinner for Hearts and Hooves day.

I couldn't quite keep a happy smile off my lips as I exited the castle and trotted towards home.

Best. Night. Ever.

Now I would just have a nap for a couple of hours and then get started with Jedi. It had been sitting in my head long enough, waiting to get out. It was time to start putting it down on the page.

“Sir?” A voice asked and I stopped, seeing a mare in her late teens approaching. Emerald fur with a white mane. “Are you really Blank Page? Could you sign my book?” She asked, looking quite nervous about it.

Eh, fuck it. I'm in the best mood ever.

I nodded and gave her a smile. “Sure thing. Do you have a quill?”

“Sure!" She answered happily and quickly reached to pull one from her bag.

Chapter 47

“So, Swift... What's with the goldfish impression?” I asked as I walked along towards the castle with my friend.

He had finally made up his mind and decided to apply for a transfer to Luna's Night Guard. Worse schedule, same pay. But you got to be inside for most of the winter and that would get him assigned to the castle.

Not roaming around town, looking for trouble.

He blinked at me. “Goldfish impression?”

I pointed upwards. “Giant fishbowl bubble appeared this morning.”

“Oh. That.”

I gave him a look. “Yes. That.”

“I figured your girlfriend would have told you.”

Sighing, I shook my head. “She is not...” I started to answer out of reflex before I paused. “...I haven't seen her in a couple of days, she has been busy.”

I kept walking for a moment before I noticed that I was suddendly alone, so I stopped and looked back at the other unicorn who had stopped to stare at me. I raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”



Swift quickly shook his head and moved closer. “You and Princess Luna? Really?”


“Wow. I was just messing with you, I didn't think anything of that rumor.” He explained; “...Really? You are not messing with me?”

I frowned at him. “No. And I'd rather you didn't spread it around any more than it will on its own.”

He shook his head. “No, of course not. I know how to keep my mouth shut. I'm a guard... and if I am to be Princess Luna's guard, it's doubly so. I was just... surprised.”

Shaking my head, I started towards the castle, letting him catch up on his own.

When he did, he grinned. “I just figured out why you never seemed interested in mares! I thought it was the entire human thing or that you liked stallions or something. This explains so much!”

Rolling my eyes, I did my best to ignore him. He would likely calm down in a little bit and giving him attention would just encourage him.

“So... goldfish?” I instead asked, changing the subject, glancing up at the shield over the city. Honestly, it was worrying.

The city didn't have a shield over it during the entire Discord... though I guess that that happened to fast to put one up... or the Nightmare Moon incidents.

Swift frowned and said: “Well... I really shouldn't tell you.” before he shrugged and continued; “But it's not like I know much to begin with and you are going to find out soon anyway.”


“There has been a threat against Canterlot.”

“...And?” I asked, motioning him to continue.

“That's about what I know.”

Learning to facehoof while walking on three legs was something you quickly learned to do when knowing Swift and I now utilized this skill. “Well, are you not a well of information.”

“Hey, a day ago I was patrolling the streets. It's only today I have a chance to try out for the Night Guard. You have higher security clearance than I!” he chuckled and reached to give my medallion a flip.

“I'm not sure it works like that.”

“Actually, it does.” He countered as we approached the checkpoint onto the castle grounds. “Just watch.”

That was quite a few more ponies here than normal. Normally there were two guards by the gates. This time, however, there were four guards and one pony in fancier armor than the rest.

“Halt. Your identities and reason to visit to the castle?” The one with the slightly fancier helmet demanded. Damn it, I really should learn to read ranks.

I think he was an actual officer. Lieutenant or something like that?

“Sir, Swift Spear, Canterlot Royal Guard.” Swift said and saluted before pulling out his identification. “I'm here to apply for a transfer to the Night Guard, sir.”

The guard inspected the identification papers before eyeing Swift. He then nodded. “Please step to the side for a magical scan.”

“Yes, sir.”

The guard then turned to me. “And you?”

“Uhm... Blank Page. Here to visit Princess Luna?”

He checked a noteblock before he nodded. “You are free to pass.”

“...What? No scan?”

“You are clearly who you say you are, sir. Nobody else carries those and it's not glowing.”

That logic had holes in it big enough to fly a planet through.

“So you could tell if it was a fake simply by looking at it?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

He paused at that and then shook his head. “...No, sir. I couldn't. That is a very good point. If you would please proceed to scanning?”

I nodded and padded over to where Swift was standing still as a pair of unicorns ran some kind of light over him.

When I get the opportunity, I might need to see if I can talk to Shining Armor about security. If I could bypass it, it needed an update. A big one.

I might also need to talk to him about how to date a Princess as well. He might have a couple of tips on that front.

Chapter 48

Swift had peeled off towards the guard headquarters as I headed towards one of the smaller dining rooms where the Princesses usually ate. Luna for breakfast and Celesta for evening tea.

Luna had not been very happy for the last week or so. Because she wanted to go to the wedding, which was during the day.

Which meant she needed to either turn her entire sleep schedule on its head or run on caffeine during the wedding.

Princess or not, she was not immune to needing to sleep.

Only a couple of days left now.

I really should remember to have my suit cleaned before then. I'll turn it in for it tomorrow. Damn! Should have thought to do that ear-


Taking a step back, I blinked at the large white unicorn I ran into. “I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going.”

“As is to be expected.” Prince Blueblood sneered, brushing imagined dust off his chest. “You should consider yourself lucky I don't have you arrested for assault!”

What the hell is this idiot's problem... oh yeah. Hmm... nobody was around, it was an empty corridor...

“Good evening to you as well, Prince Blueblood.” I said with a bow before I moved past him, “Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go make your auntie Luna make sexy sounds.” I added cheerfully as I walked past him.

He make a choking sound and I couldn't help but grin. I really shouldn't be antagonizing him, but he was such a big nob end that it was hard to resist.

Even so, I did keep an ear aimed back towards him, listening for spells or hoof steps, but I really doubted he would do either. That would involve actually doing something himself.

At first it was incomprehensible that Princess Celestia kept him around the castle, he was such a dick. Then I found out why.

Despite how much of an arse he was, he was apparently a very skilled administrator and map maker. He was running the Royal Cartography Department and was really good at it.

I would have used that as an excuse to give him some field experience in Antarctica, but that was just me.

Reaching the door, I gave the guards by it a nod before reaching to push it open and entering, before pausing at the sight that greeted me.

Celestia looked as pristine as usual, sitting by the middle of the table, calmly sipping her tea. Now that I was more used to her than before, I could tell that she was slightly more relaxed in private than in public, but even that was a small amount.

Next to her was Luna. She was sitting, leaning against the table, her mane was moving less than usual and she was resting her head against the table, looking half asleep. She looked adorable.

Two others were also in the room, Princess Cadence as sitting next to Shining Armor across the table from Luna, looking... well, all pink like normal. I have no idea how she did it, but she made pink look good.

Shining Armor, on the other hand, looked a bit tired.

“Good Evening, Princesses.” I said and bowed slightly before I walked around the table to sit down next to Luna. “Are you okay?” I wondered.

“Xtkt.” she answered, earning a small laugh from her sister.

“My sister just realized something.” the larger princess explained, not clarifying anything at all. “And good evening, Blank Page.”

I frowned slightly. “Which is?”

Luna sighed, said; “That I won't be able to go to the wedding.” and sat up. “Due to the threat to Canterlot, I have to stay alert during the nights so I need to go back to sleeping during the day. Including during the wedding.”


“Well, That s-” I started to say before I interrupted myself. “Well, that's not very good.”

Nodding, Luna gave my ear a nuzzle. “Sorry. I wanted to go with you.” she whispered.

“It's fine.” I answered and leaned softly against her side before I frowned and looked between them all. “What exactly is this threat?”

Shining Armor sighed, “We don't know. That's the problem.”

Princess Cadence nodded in agreement. “We received a part of a message about a threat to Canterlot security. Sadly, large parts of it was water damaged and we were unable to repair it. It was thought best to improve security as much as we could to keep everypony safe.”


“Hence the goldfish thing.” I said with a nod of my own, earning four curious looks so I clarified: “Pink fishbowl? The forcefield thing?”

That earned a snort from Luna and a smile from Princess Cadence and Celestia.

Shining Armor nodded. “My shield spell. Nothing enters or leaves Canterlot without being allowed to.”

...Holy shit!? He was shielding the entire city! I thought it was some sort of magical equipment or one of the Princesses that did it!

I could barely shield myself! I had tried to make a larger one once, the largest shield bubble I could run for more than five seconds was literally five meters across and after a minute I felt like laying down somewhere.

He was powering a city wide shield for days!


Shining Armor smiled faintly. “Exhausting. Protective magic is my special talent.”

Ah. That explained it. But even so, he was definitely the strongest unicorn I had ever met, barring Twilight Sparkle.

I glanced at Celestia. Speaking of Twilight Sparkle...

“Is your student going to come to the wedding, Princess?” I asked the white princess.

She smiled and nodded. “Of course. It is her brother's wedding, after all.”

I turned to look at Shining Armor. That explained so much.

Shining Armor, on the other hand, suddenly got a 'oh shit' look on his face. “I just realized I haven't even told my sister that we were dating.” He said, turning to Princess Cadence.

...Yeah, you dun fucked up, buddy.

Chapter 49

I frowned up at the force field bubble, shimmering just enough to hide the night sky from view and making the moon look pink.

“What are you thinking about?” Luna asked as I walked beside her as we moved though the gardens.

“Just... worrying. About that threat.” I admitted with a shrug.

“I won't let anyone hurt you.” Luna said and gave my ear a nuzzle.

I snorted at that. “Thank you, Princess. I'm completely helpless.”

“That's not what I-”

I grinned. “I know.” I frowned and continued; “But that is also a thing I worry about. Luna, if something does happen, focus on keeping things together. Not on getting me safe.”

She stopped and went quiet at that and I stopped, turning to look up at her.

Luna shook her head. “I'm not... I'm not sure I can promise that, Page.” she said softly. “I don't want to lose you.”

Moving up to her, I gave her a small nuzzle. “Assign a guard to me or something if it eases your mind. But I don't want you to risk Equestria or Canterlot to try to save me if there is an incident.”

She gave me an unhappy look but nodded, giving me a nuzzle back. “...I promise.”

I then grinned and booped her nose. “Besides, I'm not completely unable to defend myself.”

“I know.” she sighed and moved next to me, draping her wing over my back before moving past to nibble at a flower on the closest bush. “But you have to promise to stay safe and avoid trouble.”

I grinned and joined her to try one of the flowers. “No, I'll run directly into danger, yelling my name as loudly as I can.”

Hmm, that was actually not bad at all. Slightly sweet and sour.

That earned me a twack over the back of my head by her wing.

I chuckled and leaned against her side. “So... Twilight Sparkle is coming to the wedding.”

Luna grinned at that. “So she is... Well, I won't be able to really meet with her. Would you mind giving things a small poke?”

“I could...” I said before I hmm-ed. “But should we really? I mean, is it really fair to Twilight? She would kind of end up in the middle of things.”

“And my sister didn't with you?” Luna countered and draped her wing across my back again. “Besides, she is my sister's 'type'. It's coming sooner or later, doesn't she deserve a bit of a warning, to figure things out on her own first?”

Leaning softly against her side, I considered that. That was a very good point. It would be quite a surprise on its own, wouldn't it?

Figuring it out on her own would be better, wouldn't it?

“I suppose.” I finally said. “If you are sure about Celestia...”

Luna giggled at that and nodded. “I am. She talks about Twilight Sparkle often and I know that look in her eyes. She might not even realize it herself yet. I suspect that Princess Cadence has also noticed.”

“...Do you think she had something to do with you and me?” I asked with a frown. “How does 'princess of love' even work?”

“She can feel, see and affect the love between ponies. But you need not worry, she has not interfered.” Luna said before she frowned. “...Other than possibly to volunteer to take some lesser duties to give us more time together, now that I think about it.”

I frowned. “If you ask me, messing with people's emotions like that is really freaky. And really open for abuse.”

Luna grinned. “It's nothing like a love potion, My Page.” she reassured me. “There has to be something there for her to be able to do anything and even then, it's more like encouragement than making something happen.”

“...Even so.”

Smiling, Luna nuzzled at my ear. “Relax. I trust Cadence.”

“If that's not what she wants you to think.” I grumbled before I nodded. “Very well. If you trust her, I suppose I will as well.”

I just didn't like the idea of something messing with my head. Shrugging, though, I followed Luna back onto the main path through the garden, heading in the general direction of the hedge labyrinth.

Walking along, I glanced up at the shield bubble again.

There was really something disturbing about not being able to see the stars, it was just a faint pink shimmer across the black of the night.

It was a constant reminder that something was threatening my new home. And even worse, my... marefriend.

It was really fortunate that somebody was able to discover the threat, whatever it was, and get word out...

I stopped walking and frowned.

That was rather amazing luck, wasn't it?

“Page?” Luna asked, folding her wing on her side again as she turned to look at me.

“...Luna, you said you got a water damaged message concerning this threat, right?”

She nodded. “Indeed.”

“What would a vague threat to Canterlot result in? What is the procedure?”

“This.” she said with a shrug, looking around. “Recalling extra guards, checkpoints, more patrols. Shield around the city. Extra defenses to keep the populations safe.”

I slowly nodded as I sat down. “Recalling extra guards... from where?”

“Mostly other cities and villages.” Luna answered, looking thoughtful.

“If somebody knew that that would happen and they wanted to lower security somewhere else...” I said, looking up at the shield. “Not only that, but would the casting of the shield also expose Shining Armor? Even if it is his special talent, keeping this thing up has to be draining. It would mean that one of our stronger defensive assets would be disabled.”

Luna frowned. “...You are making a very good point.” she said and shifted her wings. “Are you sure that you were not military before ending up here?”

“No.” I answered with a shrug. “I just played a lot of games and... it's what I would have done.”

“Perhaps we should return and discuss the matter with Princess Cadence and Captain Armor.” Luna slowly said. “Let them know that it's a strong possibility that he might be one of the primary targets.”

I hesitated, but nodded. “I'm just guessing here, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt.”

Chapter 50

The morning of the wedding and I was bone dead tired. So much, in fact, that I went down to the castle kitchen and got some coffee. Tea just wasn't strong enough today.

Back home on Earth I would have used an energy drink. But this wasn't Earth, so I would have to make due with as strong coffee as I could get my hooves on, mixed with with enough sugar to make it count as syrup, not coffee.

I hate coffee.

But I didn't want to fall asleep during the ceremony.

In retrospect, staying up with Luna for most of the night might have been a bad idea. But she was unable to come to the wedding, so the least I could do was to keep her company. I did get a couple of hours of sleep, but nowhere near enough.

Raising the cup, I took a sip at the disgusting liquid, giving it a dubious look. Maybe it would be better to just gulp it down, get it over with. Like ripping off a bandaid.


Man, I really must be out of it if I didn't detect a batpony approach across the garden. They kind of stood out.

“Yes?” I asked, putting the cup down.

“I'm here to serve as your personal guard, sir. On orders from Princess Luna.”

I... didn't think that she would actually do that. Well, if it made her feel better, I suppose I could put up with it

He looked the same as any of the other pegasi in Lunas service. Dark grey coat, almost completely black mane, tail and black batlike wings.

Large, catlike eyes and fangs.

Of course, it was all an illusion. If he removed the armor, he would return to looking like a normal pegasus. It kept them all looking the same for security reasons.

I nodded. “What's your name?”

“Reliant Frost, sir.” He answered, shifting his wings.

“Reliant Frost.” I said. “Sorry about this. I suggested it to Princess Luna as a way to ease her mind during the heightened threat level. I didn't think she would actually go through with it.”

He smiled at that. “Don't worry about it, sir. It beats standing by a door.”

“I wouldn't count on it.” I countered before forcing myself to take another drink of the coffee. Better get it done before it went cold or it would be even worse. “Can I get you anything?”

“Not while on duty, sir.”

Nodding, I finished the cup before putting it down. “Well, we'd better go get my suit then, we have a wedding to get ready for.”

“Yes, sir.”


This entire 'being guarded' thing ended up being way less intrusive than I thought it would be.

Reliant Frost was good at what he did.

Hell, I knew he was there and I barely noticed him most of the day. Two steps back and one to my right, he stayed where he could keep a eye on things while staying out of my direct field of view.

Finishing adjusting the suit, I turned to my shadow. “How do I look?”

“You might want to adjust the collar, sir.”

Frowning, I checked and then folded it back down in the back. “Better?”

“Yes, sir.”

Nodding, I sighed. “Kitchen now, I think. Another cup of that accursed liquid. It wouldn't do to fall asleep during the wedding.”

“I would imagine not, sir.”

“How do you handle it?” I asked as we exited the guestroom, heading down the corridor. “Switching to the day, I mean?”

“I didn't, sir.” he clarified. “I was always on day duty. I previously patrolled Princess Luna's tower during day time.”


Well, that made sense. Even during the night Princess Celestia's guard patrolled her personal wing of the castle.

It made sense Luna would have the same arrangement on her tower and grounds.

...Swift better hope he ends up on day duty or Minuette won't be happy with him.

Finding the way down to the kitchen, I found it about as busy as I expected. Most of the castle was, in fact, there were ponies running around everywhere trying to get everything ready in time.

As I didn't really have anything to do, I did my best to keep out of everyone's way.

Not that I always succeeded.

I just barely managed to get out of the way of an orange earth pony, taking a cake out of one of the ovens.

“Careful there! I almost got the cake on yer fancy suit.” She said and quickly put it on the counter. “What can ah help ya with?”

“Oh... uhm... I'm just trying to get to the coffee? Things got a bit late last night and I don't want to fall asleep during the wedding.”

She grinned. “I'll get ya a cup.”

I nodded and then frowned. “I recognize you. Applejack, right?”'

“That's right. You are Twilight's friend, right? Page, something? Sugar?”

“Yes please. Some coffee in the sugar.”

She returned with the cup and I caught it in my magic, looking around the rather busy royal kitchens. “A bit stressful today, is it?”

“Yeah, no kidding. Trying to get everything ready in time and ah still need to go get changed.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Can't have ya mess up your fancy suit, now can we.” she answered and shook her head. “We're about done, about to go get ready. Now drink yer coffee and make sure ya don't fall asleep.”

“Yeah, that would be bad.”

With that, I thanked her for the horrible fluid and retreated from the kitchen so that I could stop being in the way.

Taking a sip I grimaced at the taste before I sighed and glanced at Reliant Frost. “Come on, let's find somewhere to stay out of everyone's way until the wedding starts.”

“Very well, sir.”

I guess the royal library would be empty. We could go there.

Chapter 51

The wedding was quite nice.

I sat in the crowd, close to the wall as I watched Princess Cadence walk down the aisle towards a waiting Shining Armor and Princess Celestia. For the first time today, my shadow was missing. It was considered safe enough for him to quickly grab something to eat with Celestia in the room. Or at least I told him so and sent him to eat. He had been following me around without a bite all day.

It took some convincing, but Reliant Frost finally agreed.

Sometimes the similarities to some earth customs were just strange. This was one of them.

Very strange.

Even so, having your wedding ceremony performed by a literal sun goddess was a bit rarer back home.

I did wish Luna could have been here though. She would have been up there next to her sister and not next to me, but at least she could have been here.

Stupid threat.

Sighing, I focused on the ceremony itself. I'll see Luna tonight. She is my girlfriend, not my symbiote.

I don't need to spend every moment thinking of her.

Admittedly, it had been difficult not to lately.

They finished saying their vows and Princess Celestia smiled, “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor. It is my great pleasure to pronounce you...”



Twilight rushed in and slid to a halt by the open doors as everyone stared at her. She looked pissed.

I had wondered where she had been, it was her brother's wedding after all. But then again, I might have been pissed too if my sister was getting married and I didn't even know she had a boyfriend.

Gasps all around at her interruption.

Princess Cadence ughed and stomped a hoof, “Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother!?” before she turned sad and started to cry, “Why does she have to ruin my special day?”

“Because it's not your special day! It's mine!” A second Cadence yelled as she ran into the room next to Twilight.


“What.” Princess Cadence ...the one next to Shining Armor... asked before she pointed at them, “How did you escape my bridesmaids?”

She then shook her head, “No matter. You are still too late.”

Applejack looked confused, “I don't understand. How can there be two of them!?”

...Good question. What in the fuck is going on!?

Princess Cadence took a couple of steps forward(the one next to Twilight), “She is a Changeling! She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding of your love for them!”

AH! Dominion! Fuck those guys!

...Wait, that's fiction. And they didn't eat love.

Princess Cadence(the one by Shining Armor) was engulfed in flame, it crawled over her, pink fur and wings giving away to black chitin and fibrous wings.

Her mane was flat and green and her mouth was filled with fangs. Her horn turned crooked like a stinger and her eyes were luminous green. Her limbs had holes through them.

She had waaay to many xenomorph features not to be fucking terrifying! I was clearly not the only one thinking so as the crowd was dead silent as we stared at her.

Where are the guards?

She started to laugh and walk towards Princess Cadence, “Right you are, Princess. And as Queen of the Changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects. Equestria has more love than any place I have ever encountered. My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much of it that we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!”

Princess Cadence glared at her, “They will never get the chance! Shining Armor's protection spell will keep them from ever even reaching us!”

...Yes, but what about everypony else in Equestria!? Where the fuck are those guards!??

The big bug laughed, “I doubt that. Isn't that right dear?”

Shining Armor nodded dumbly.

...Oh fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK! I fucking knew it! FUCKINGFUCKITYFUCK!

Princess Cadence tried to get to him_ but the bug Queen cut her off, looking rather smug about it, “Ever since I took your place, I have been feeding of Shining Armor's love for you.” she said, moving back to almost rub up against his side, “Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now my minions are chipping away at it."

She laughed, “He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now! And I'm sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as Captain of the Royal Guard!”


“Soon my changeling army will break through. First we take Canterlot, then All of Equestria!”

“No.” Celestia said, stepping up, “You wont."

Oh you dun goofed now, buggy. Somebody is about to be hit by a star.

“You may have made it impossible for Shining Armor to perform his spell, but now when you have so foolishly revealed your true self...” Celestia started and stepped forward, meeting the bug, their horns clashing, “I can protect my subjects from you!”

Flapping her wings, Celestia pulled back and up into the air, her horn shining like a small sun and she fired a bright beam straight at the bug queen.

The bug answered with a green beam of her own and they clashed in the middle.

Smash her!

To my growing horror though, she started to force Celestia's beam backwards.

No. Nonononono!

She was supercharged! They fed on love and she had been eating the love meant for the Princess of Love! Of course she was on_top of her power.


No guards. Someone had to do something.

Charging up the most damaging spell I could, I aimed it at her eyes and put as much power into it as I could handle.

Normally the cutting spell was made for things such as apples.

It struck the Bug Queen across the cheek and black chitin split with a spray of green ichor. She jerked to the side, crying out in pain. In doing so, she broke contact with the beam.

Celestia's spell smashed through the remains of her beam and hit the big bug, sending her crashing across the floor and smacked her against the wall. The bug dropped and laid still on the floor.

With a flap of her wings, Celestia flew over to her, putting a hoof on her in case she moved, glowing bands of light forming around the bugs horn and tying her legs together before Celestia looked at Princess Cadence, “Go to him. Use your magic to free him from her spell. Then reinforce the shield spell.” she ordered, “Twilight, girls. Come with me.” before picking up her fallen foe in her magic, “Blank Page, you as well.”

Chapter 52

Exiting the great hall, I followed along Princess Celestia and the element bearers out into the bright sunlight, Celestia floating the big bug along.

As we stepped outside, I glanced up and could suddenly see exactly what had distracted the guards.

The air outside the pink shield was swarming with smaller, pony instead of princess, sized bugs and I suddenly felt like I was in Whiskey Outpost.

We might have captured their queen, but who knew if that actually helped. With that many, we might be over run.

“Princess...” Twilight asked, “What do we do?”

“Go get the Elements.” The Princess of the Sun answered with a smile. “Then return to your brother. If needed be, you will know what to do.”

“But...” Twilight started to say, before looking at the floating and still knocked out bug queen before she nodded, “Yes Princess.” and turned to the others, “Come on girls. We better hurry.”

As they galloped off, Princess Celestia turned to me, “Thank you, Blank Page. That was a very brave thing you did.”

“Nopony else was doing anything.” I didn't do much, I just jostled her horn at a critical moment. Celestia was the one that blasted the thing.

She smiled and then looked up at the swarm outside the pink dome with a small frown, “There may still be a way to resolve this without more violence.”

I frowned at that as Reliant Frost almost barreled into me in his hurry to get back to my side, “Sir! Are you alright!!?”

I chuckled, “I'm fine.” before turning from the panicking guard back to the princess, “Holding their Queen hostage?”

“I was thinking of asking you to talk to her.” Celestia clarified.

...Uhm, “What?”

She tilted her head, looking at big floating bug. It was still out like a light. “My sister and I fought her kind once before. We locked them away in a place where they couldn't harm anypony. Back then, they conquered several towns before we were able to stop them. Perhaps... With your origins you can find some common ground with her? Find a way to stop this?”

Yes, of course, put the fate of Canterlot in my hooves. Thanks a lot, Princess.

I took a slow deep breath before I nodded, “If you think it will help, Princess. But I need to do it my way. And you need to play along.”

Reliant Frost didn't look happy about this, not what so ever.


The chamber was a rather plain one. One of Celestias private rooms, I presume. I crossed my frontlegs, waiting for the big bug to wake up as I did my best to relax. She was still in her magical bonds, Celestia was there was well, across the room from me. I was safe.

Reliant Frost was outside and he was about as happy about that as you could expect.

There's no way this is going to work.

The big bug slowly stirred, her wings fluttering before her eyes snapped open and she jerked awake. When she realized she was bound, she went bugfuck crazy, struggling and pulling until she finally collapsed.

Celestia didn't say anything, keeping to the background as well as a large white alicorn could.

Leaving me with the bug.

I watched her for a moment before I spoke up, “Good Morning.”

The bugs eyes flicked open again and she stared at me, “I doubt it.” she finally answered.

I nodded, “I suppose you are right about that on both points. It's neither morning nor good for any of us. I'm Blank Page. May I ask your name?”

“Does it matter?”

“It would save me the bother of making one up for you.” I said with a shrug, “But if you want to be called Buggy, that's fine.”

“...I am Queen Chrysalis in your language.” she snarled, “Where am I?”

“In a room at Canterlot Castle. The shield is reinforced, your plan failed. Your subjects will either starve to death outside it or be annihilated as soon as we feel like it.”

Chrysalis almost vibrated with rage but didn't answer at first. I'm safe. I'm safe. Her legs and horn are still supressed. She can't hurt me.

It was almost a minute before she spoke up, “Why am I here?”

I ignored her question, “Do you know who I am?”

“Princess Luna's plaything.”

“Not completely wrong. But did you know I'm not a pony? Not really, not where it matters?”


I nodded, “I ended up here after some sort of magical accident. Woke up as a unicorn. Now that was a surprise, let me tell you. I'm not even from this world.”

“You are lying.”

I grinned, “Why would I? What reason could I possibly have to lie?”

“You want me to call my subjects off. To surrender... after what your 'princesses' did to us...”

Hmm. Sounded like there might be more to that story that Celestia originally said.

“You were eating the love of ponies!” Celestia injected from the other side of the room and Chrysalis twisted around to glare at her.

“We were starving! We feed on love! We need it to survive!”

“Stay out of this, Princess.” I told Celestia, shifting to look at her, “You want me to talk to her? I will do so. But I can't with you here, so with all due respect, Fuck Off.” Too damn stressful for me to moderate my language. Besides, she promised to play along.

Both of them twitched around to stare at me with wide eyes for a moment before Celestia slowly got onto her hooves with a nod, “...Very well. I will remain outside” she said and opened the doors, walking outside before closing them behind her, leaving me with the bug queen.

She just kept staring at me, “D-did you just...”

I shrugged, “I'm Luna's 'plaything'. I bet she can get me back from the moon if needed. And as I was saying, I'm not exactly a average pony, nor a pony at all at heart. You see, humans are not like these ponies. We had two arms and legs, walked upright like minotaurs. Even more importantly, we are omnivores. Vegetables, fruit, nuts, berries... meat. We eat it all.” I said before I sighed, “I miss meat so badly. It's been over a year since I've had some. You are not the only predator in the room.”

Chrysalis actually shifted away a bit from me, “...You really are no pony.”

“I am now. But I need you to understand a important thing. I don't care what happens to you. You threatened me and more importantly, my friends and girlfriend. If it had been up to me, Celestia should have kept hitting you with the magic beam of arse kicking until you were a stain on the marble floor. If necessary, I'll kill you myself.”

I really didn't think I could. In the heat of battle, maybe. A tied up prisoner? No. But she don't need to know that.

Shaking my head, I continued, “So, as you see, I really have no reason to lie to you. But Celestia wanted me to talk to you, try to find a common ground. To end this without more loss of life.”

She was quiet, looking down on the floor as she shifted from laying on her side onto her stomach, her frontlegs still tied before her as she looked at the glowing bindings, “...Then kill me. Because there can be no peace. We need love, we can't live without it. The Princesses won't accept us feeding on their ponies. We will not willingly starve to death.”

“You fed on Shining Armors love for Princess Cadence?”


“Any spells on him? To keep him under control?”

Chrysalis sighed and nodded, fluttering her wings, “I did. The feeding is just that, draining of love. I used several spells to hold him under control. They are all broken now.”

“Does it have to be romantic love?”

“It tastes the best. I didn't finish draining him, he wouldn't be able to function if I did.”

“You are an idiot.”

That got a reaction, her eyes snapping to me, “...What?”

I shook my head, “You want as much love as you can handle? Get a puppy.”


“Yes, a puppy. A dog. A small ball of fluff which will love you unconditionally. I have seen them around, I'm sure you have as well. You clearly don't drain all the love at once or Shining Armor wouldn't have been able to function at all, right? Can't you just... nibble? Does love 'grow back'?”

“...Yes. If you drain a pony, if they survive the time they spend apathetic, in a few weeks they will return to normal.”

I nodded, “So you really are an idiot then. Why this big stupid invasion? You could have kept hidden in the general population. Nibbled a little here and a little there. You could have thrived.”

Chrysalis shook her head, “...The Princesses would have found us, sooner or later, no matter what the other hives think. As long as they existed, we are in danger. Last time we did, they discovered us. We drained ponies, yes. But we did 'nibble'. We lived among them for years before we were found out with no damage done. When they found us out, they couldn't stand for it. We drained ponies fully to obtain the power to defend ourselves.”

There is almost never one side in a conflict. It didn't seem to be here either. Not that I took her at her words, but neither did it seem like everything was told in the version Celestia told me either.

Also, the mention of other hives was interesting.

“So what will it be? Make a decision.” I finally asked, “Combat or surrender and peace talks? Try to work out a way to solve this without more violence. Without you and your subjects being locked away again. Or will your subjects fight to the death uselessly?”

Chrysalis was silent for a long time before she let out a long deep breath, “...I just want to keep my subjects safe. My children safe. If I have the Princesses' word they will not be harmed... we will surrender.”

I glanced down at my medallion, making a quick decision and then I nodded, “You have the word of Princess Luna.”

“Get Celestia. I need to address my subjects.”

Chapter 53

Luna was not happy with me.

“What in the world were you thinking!?” she asked, glaring down at me, her wings raised in annoyance as she moved back and forth across her balcony, the moon lightning the scene from far above.

Celestia had filled her in on what happened and she had just returned to her quarters from the meeting on what to do with the changelings.

Sitting down, I looked away. “I'm sorry, but I thought it was the only way to get her to agree. If her minions didn't stand down there would have been a lot of ponies getting hurt.”

That earned me a surprised look. “What!? No! I don't care about that.” Luna sighed and moved up to nuzzle me softly. “What was you thinking attacking her? You could have been hurt.”

“Somepony had to do something.”

Shifting next to me, Luna put her wing across my back and pulled me close as she sat down, nuzzling at my ear. “...Thank you for saving my sister.” she whispered softly.

Leaning against her side, I tried not to blush. “I didn't do much. I just distracted Chrysalis. Celestia did everything else.”

Luna smiled and shifted her weight against me, forcing me to lay down as she moved down next to me. “Braver than intelligent.” she murmured softly and rested her cheek against the top of my head, her nose just barely avoiding my horn before she grinned and asked me; “...did you really tell 'Tia to 'Fuck Off'?”

“...Might have?”

The Princess of the Moon broke down into giggles.

Blushing, I leaned against her in turn, closing my eyes.

Today had been exhausting even if my involvement in it was basically over after casting one spell and having one conversation.

The changelings were now currently housed/contained in the guest wing of the castle. Under heavy guard, of course, and with suppression rings on their horns. Hourly headcounts and no guard patrols of less than three guards. Passwords at every checkpoint and such things.

Nobody really knew what to do with them, but it was not going to be figured out tonight anyway. That work would start tomorrow.

Right now, everyone was just glad to have survived, I think. Including the changelings.

Chrysalis was not happy with the arrangement, but it was temporary and even she knew that. They couldn't keep that many changelings in the castle. I didn't think she would cause any trouble. Not now. Her only chance to win would have been with surprise... and that was without a suppression ring.

With that gone, she was boned in a fight and she knew it.

“You are getting a medal for this, you know.” Lunas said, her voice soft and her muzzle against my ear, bringing me up to full consciousness again, blinking my eyes open.


“A medal.” Luna said again. “And most likely part of a stained-glass window in the hall of stories.”

“No... I don't want any of that!” I answered, shifting to look at her.

Luna smiled and bumped her nose against mine. “As you say, deal with it. And that's simply for saving my sister. If we actually manage peace with the Changelings... something I still think both you and 'Tia are fools for trying... then you will likely get a noble title out of it as well.”

I just stared at her in horror.

She giggled and nuzzled me. “That's what you get. Perhaps next time, you'll learn to stay safe instead of doing something brave.”

Snorting in annoyance, I rolled onto my back to look up at her, her mane visible against the night sky only by being slightly bluer and moving. “So what was I supposed to do? Sit there like a cactus and watch a supercharged bug creature overpower your sister?”

Luna sighed and shook her head. “No. But...” she frowned and shifted, putting her front leg across my chest as she looked down at me, almost nose to nose. “I just don't want to lose you.”

Sighing, I bumped my nose against hers. “Fine. I promise that next time I won't save Equestria from giant pony-eating bugs.”

That got a giggle from her and she nuzzled me again. “My Page, we both know that you would break that promise. Perhaps I should assign you more guards.”

“Don't you dare, one is annoying enough. Speaking of which, the threat is over. He can go back to his normal duties.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “The guard stays.” she ordered in a tone that told me that it was best not to argue.

Oh well, at least he was good at keeping out of the way. Even if it was mostly for Luna's peace of mind.

Sighing, I relaxed back against the stone of the balcony. “Can we at least skip the entire 'noble' thing? I can handle the rest, but I don't want ponies going around and 'Lord' me all the time.”

That got a grin from the Princess. “No. Ponies have gotten titles for less in the past.” she answered, giving her wings a flap before folding them again. “And if you are going to keep getting in trouble, I'm going to start training you in combat, personally.”

Damn. Something tells me that will be rough.

“So... what is going to be done with the Changelings?” I asked after a moment.

Luna frowned in thought. “...I don't know. We don't know enough about how they feed on love yet to be able to make a decision. I do hope that it can be solved in some simple manner, like your suggestion of dogs. But reality is rarely so accommodating.”

I nodded. “Chrysalis did say they could get by by 'nibbling' on love. They don't need to drain ponies to live. It should be possible to come up with a compromise.”

Luna looked unhappy at the prospect but nodded. “Perhaps.”

“Speaking of love...” I continued and gave her a small, soft kiss. “I love you.”

She smiled down at me. “...That's the first time you said it.”

“I know. But we have already confirmed I'm not that smart sometimes. I love you, Luna.”

Shifting down, she kissed me softly. “I love you too, My Page.” before she relaxed with her head against my chest, her nose against my neck.

We stayed like that for a long time as I held her before Luna shifted to look down at me again. “Stay with me tonight?” she whispered softly.

I smiled and nuzzled. “I want nothing more.”

Luna smiled softly before she bumped her nose against mine again, shifting further onto me, spreading her wings as she looked down at me, her blue-green eyes smoldering hot. “No... I mean stay with me tonight.

“So did I.”

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