I sat on the couch, wrapped in blankets, leaning against Ashes, who was playing a guitar that matched her cutie mark. A steaming hot mug of coffee sat on the table beside her, accompanied by her glasses. I watched her intently, wondering just how in the hell she managed to play a guitar so well with hooves. As far as I could tell, she was using her fetlock on the upper part, but that wouldn’t-

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Ashes let out a sigh, put down her guitar, and plodded clumsily over to the door, makhing sure to grab her glasses along the way.

“Hey Knives,” she yawned. “What’s up?”

“It’s cold as aw hell out here. Mah ears’re freezin’ off.” I heard the striped unicorn respond. “Can Ah come in?”

“Sure.” Ashes let out another long yawn. “What’s with that anyway? It was warm yesterday.”

“Apparently yer ‘relatives’ decided it would be a great idea tae screw wi’ th’ air conditionin’.”Knives snorted as she approached the couch. “They broke th’ main control panel. And mom is pissed about it. Apparently it’s messed up th’ kitchens tae.”

I couldn’t help but stare at her as she sat down next to me.

“What?” She asked.

I quirked an eyebrow. She was wearing, of all things, a green flannel button-down shirt. “You wonder why ponies keep saying you look like a colt?”

“What? What are ye talkin’ about?”

“You do look pretty butch, Knives.” Ashes chuckled as she plopped back down next to me, and resumed her position as my pillow. “Might wanna lose the flannel.”

“Ah like this shirt!” She whined. “Ah’ve had it fer years.”

“It makes you look like a filly fooler.” Ashes grimaced, and coughed into a hoof. “Sorry Zeed.”

“Pfft, sorry? I was about to say the same thing,” I laughed. “Though, I wouldn’t be caught dead in that thing.”

“Shut up, both ay ye.” Knives grumbled.

“Anyway, you have any idea when they’ll get the thing fixed?” Ashes asked.

Knives shrugged. “Maybe a week, at best?”

I groaned as a shiver went down my spine, despite the blankets.

~~~

“Stock, I’m not liking this.”

“No kidding, we haven’t found anything!” The ghoul growled. “I hate this fucking place. It’s like a goddess-damned maze.”

“No, I mean they’re not coming after us,” I said. “It’s making me nervous.”

“It’s only been an hour. I’m sure they’ll find us soon.” She growled again. “My problem is that we’ve searched the entire floor and found nothing.”

“Maybe we’d get through a little faster if you’d stop searching EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ROOM WE PASS!” I screamed.

“Do you want to miss something important?” She snapped back. “I don’t, especially if it could help us.”

“You took twenty minutes to search through a fucking broom closet.” I deadpanned, pointing to the aforementioned room. “Why would there be something useful in there?”

“Well we-“ Her ear twitched, and she motioned for me to hide.

While she shot up, and hid behind the ceiling panels, I moved back into the closet. I was glad, and not for the first time, that I was as small as I was as I hid inside the empty tool cabinet. As I did, the sound of hooves on metal echoed through the hallway.

“Gotcha you li- oh.” Came a disappointed stallion’s voice.

“Corn, every time you do that, they figure out where we are. Shoot first, ask questions later.” Another stallion said.

“Hey, I wanna catch these little fucks, alright? Goddesses, gimme a break.”

“Just keep quiet.”

“I coulda sworn I heard somepony shouting.”

I groaned internally. Of course they heard that.

“Hey, ya think they’ll let us keep ‘em if we catch ‘em?” The second asked in an excited manner.

“This is the third time you’ve asked that.”

“So?”

“No. They won’t. They’ll probably be put to work before they’re thrown in the pit.” The first let out an exasperated sigh. “C’mon, let’s keep looking.”

Oh thank Luna, they’re leaving.

“Should we check the rooms?”

I just had to think that, didn’t I.

“Meh. Sure.”

In a state of mild panic, I used what little room I had to pull my laser out of my lab coat pocket. I wasn’t in much of a fighting position, but, if nothing else, I could get the jump on whichever one opened the door.

I silently and desperately wished for the slaver to ignore the broom closet. I’d left it open, so he’d probably just glance in and move on.

Of course, considering my luck he’d far more likely to-

“Here, filly, filly, filly. Come out come out.” The second chuckled. “I can hear you breathing.”

My eye twitched, and I fought the urge to swear loudly.

I wondered whether I should make a run for it when the cabinet opened, revealing another zebra standing there with a malicious grin.

“Ooh, hello sexy.” He said in the creepiest way possible.

“Fuck that!” I screamed around the trigger as I fired my laser, right into his face, sending him staggering back in shock and pain.

With him distracted, I took opportunity to scramble my way out of the cabinet, into the hallway, and as luck would have it, right into the other slaver. The earth pony blinked at me in mild surprise as I toppled over him. “What the fu-“

“GAAAGH!” I yelped in panic, sending several burning beams of light into his face.

Then I was slammed into the wall, pinned there by the throat as number one recovered enough to see again. He snarled at me and knocked my gun out of my mouth, following it up with a vicious headbutt, leaving me dazed. I hoped it wouldn’t give me another concussion, as the last one wasn’t particularly pleasant.

“Fucking bitch,” Hissed number two.

“Don’t say that, Kad. If the boss hears you, he’ll be pissed.” Number one said.

“Fuck him! She fucking burned the fur off my face!” Kad pointed at the charred bald spots on his muzzle. Then he grinned at me. “I saw we should get to have some fun with her.”

My eyes widened in terror.

Number two growled in frustration. “No! I’m not screwin’ a mare! Especially not a damn zebra!”

As Kad glared as his companion, I started struggling to get free, panicking at the thought of what he’d do to me. He responded by pressing harder against my neck.

“Eh… sorry… You know what I meant, right?”

No no no no no!

“Racist fuck.”

I kicked as hard as I could against his ribs, but only managed to make him wince.

“I’m sorry! I swear, I didn’t mean it like that!”

I was on the verge of tears, hitting him as hard as I could, still pinned in that spot, unable to even scream, knowing what he wanted me for…

“Right. Your ‘no interspecies’ thing.” Kad snorted. “You’re always doing this shit, Corn. It’s getting’ annoying.”

Part of the ceiling broke, and fell to the ground in a cloud of dust, scaring the two stallions to the point where they visibly jumped, Kad dropping me to the ground and leaving me gasping me for air.

The dust parted to reveal Stock, standing with her gun pointed at the two Bone Eaters with a cocky smirk on her face. “Mind if I drop in?”

After a second of staring in abject shock, I facehoofed.

Corn was the first to react, charging the ghoul as she let loose a barrage of .50 bullets. He got just close enough to knock the barrels away from himself with one forehoof before he drove the other into her muzzle, but not without having a sizeable chunk of flesh torn off his side. Stock spun with the punch, taking the opportunity to grab his hindleg with a wing and pull, dropping him to the ground.

Seeing his companion fall was enough to snap Kad back to reality. He drew a compact-looking gun from one of the bandoliers across his chest and started firing away with the automatic weapon. He wasn’t a particularly good shot, with just a few small cuts appearing on Stock’s legs, but it gave him the chance to dive for cover as Stock and I did the same, each of us hiding in a different room, leaving Corn in the hallway.

“Just give up, and we won’t hurt you too bad!” The earth pony called out. “We’ll just maim ya a little. Hah.”

“Corn, shut the fuck up and get over here!” Kad yelled.

“Both of you can go fuck yourselves.” I muttered under my breath. I peeked out to see my laser sitting on the floor, just next to Kad’s door, and swore.

Gunshots echoed through the hallway as Stock popped out of her room, laying down a carpet of suppressing fire as she charged towards me. Both Bone Eaters yelped in surprise and scrambled out of her line of sight.

“You alright?” The ghoul asked me.

“I would first like to say, thanks for saving my flank. The last thing I want is some jerk ‘hitting’ on me like that.” I said. “But why the fuck… did you have to do a dramatic entrance?”

“Fun!” She chirped.

“While I’m about to… to get…” I shuddered. “I don’t even wanna think about it.”

“Uh… Well… I… uh…” Stock’s smile faltered. “Oh… Oh, fuck… S-sorry… I…”

“C’mon sexy, I don’t bite!” Kad yelled, breaking the tension. “Much!”

Both slavers laughed, while Stock and I both facehoofed.

“Okay,” She said. “Just for that, they need to die.”

“Really.” I rolled my eyes. “That’s why they need to die.”

“Shut up. I haven’t seen you killing any of them,” the ghoul snorted, taking several shots as Kad peeked out.

“I’m sorry, I’m a medic.” I snapped. “I don’t like killing ponies. That’s kinda the opposite of what I do.”

“You think I do?”

“Oh, sexy! I can hear you talkiiiing!” Kad shouted.

I groaned. “Stock, think you can cover me? I need to get my gun.”

She nodded, and leapt out of the room, screaming as she pounded down the hallway. I leaped out after her, heading straight for the energy pistol, heard Kad and Corn yelp in fear as Stock slid past the door, and opened fire. I couldn’t see the slavers, but I knew they were hiding behind something.

Pistol now in my mouth, I turned to…

See a zebra mare at the end of the hallway, staring at me with crazy eyes. A few flecks of red were spread through them. It was oddly familiar. “YOU!”

“LUNA FUCKING DAMNIT!” I screamed around my weapon. “Why you, of all ponies?”

She made her way towards me, panting with a combination of fury and hate, her eyes never leaving me, even as I let loose a volley of red beams, several of which hit her directly in the chest. She didn’t even flinch.

“Uh… Stock?” I gulped. “Help?”

The undead pegasus whirled around, training her machine guns on the Zebra.

The guns clicked on empty chambers.

My jaw dropped.

The other zebra charged down the hallway at full speed, headbutting me and sending me flying into Stock. She made an attempt to catch me with her wings, but I only ended up getting clotheslined.

Stock gave me a sympathetic grimace as I tried to clear the stars out of my vision.

Kad popped out of his room and let loose another volley of lead-flavored death. For the second time today, Stock dragged me into a side room and took cover.

“Are you-“

“Fine.” I interrupted her. “Just annoyed.”

“GET OUT HERE TRAITOR!” The other zebra shrieked. “I’II fucking flay you alive!”

“Yeah, come here, sexy. I wanna do stuff to you.”

I gritted my teeth, wishing that he would shut up.

“SHUT UP, YOU USELESS FUCK!” The mare roared.

“Woah, calm down!” Corn replied. “If you want her you can have her. Kad, just let it go.”

I peeked around the corner, and was just in time to see the mare’s hoof fly into my face, sending me sprawling on the ground. Kad jumped around the corner, keeping his pistol trained on Stock, who raised her wings in defeat.

“Here’s how it’s going to work, traitor,” my ‘friend’ hissed, standing over me with a look of sheer rage.. “I’m going to beat the shit out of you, and Kad here is going to kill you if you try and run.”

Corn took this moment to speak up. “I think Kad wanted to do stuff to her, actually.”

The mare glared at the zebra in question with a raised eyebrow.

He shrugged. “Haven’t had any good lays in a while.”

After staring at Kad for a while, the mare grinned at me. “I think that’s a great idea. Kad can keep you for a while then.”

Oh dear mother of Luna not that. Think, think, think, what can I do, what can I do… Oh… Oh dear Luna, I’m so going to regret this.

“S-sorry, I don’t do stallions.” I stammered with as sultry a smile as I could manage at the moment. “But I’d like to try you out, h-hot stuff.”

All three slavers and Stock stared at me, dumbfounded.

Kad was the first to react, bursting out into peals of laughter. “Oh goddesses that’s hilarious! Stockhoof syndrome kicked in a bit early, eh? Someone’s got a crush on you, Mir!”

“Stockhoof what?” Corn asked, now even more confused.

Kad waved him off. “Never mind. Read it in a book.”

“Seriously?” Stock stammered. “You’re flirting? Zeed, what the actual fuck, are you insane?”

“More like literal fuck!” Kad laughed even harder.

All the while, the other zebra mare, apparently named ‘Mir’, just gaped at me.

So I kicked her between the legs, making both of the stallions in the room wince.

Mir’s legs suddenly refused to support her weight, instead reflexively moving to protect her tender areas, so I took the opportunity to buck her off of me, sending her tumbling into Corn.

I stood up, and glared at Kad, who looked between Stock, his fellow slavers, and me, back and forth. Eventually, he shrugged and dropped his gun, throwing his front hooves up into the air. “Okay, I give.”

“You’re a fucking pansy -ghe - Kad!” Mir groaned. “You are a complete fucking coward.”

“Hey, I’m not really into the whole ‘slaver’ business to begin with. It was either this, or keep bein’ a raider.” He smiled. “Fun, though it was, I’d rather have some stability in my life. So, I take it you’re here to break out all the slaves?”

I punched him in the snout. “Go fuck yourself!”

“Gaagh! Why?” He moaned, holding his nose and writhing on the ground in pain.

“’I say we should get to have some fun with her…’ I’ll fucking show you fun!” I was shaking . With anger or pent-up fear, I wasn’t really sure. “You do that shit to other ponies?”

“Other pon- you mean ‘people’?”

I punched him in the snout again. My eyes were streaming with tears. “What is wrong with you fucking psychos?”

“Zeed, are you okay?” Stock put a wing over my shoulder.

“He was… Luna’s moon… He was gonna do… that to me…” I shuddered in disgust.

Kad chuckled, and shot me a sly, if a bloody, grin. “Oh, come on, I’m pretty good in the sack.”

Corn groaned. “Why do I hang out with you?”

I narrowed my eyes at the zebra stallion. “I don’t fucking care how ‘good in the sack’ you are. Where’s the exit?”

“Aww, come on. What’re you, a fillyfooler?”

I delivered a two-legged buck to his face.

Stock grimaced, and pulled a coil of rope out of her saddlebags, and began to tie up the other slavers, who didn’t even try to resist.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” he chuckled. Several of his teeth were gone and he was bleeding from the nose and one of his eyebrows, but he still had that sickening grin. “I’ll bet you just haven’t been with the right stallion before. Why don’t you give me a shot, eh?”

My fur bristled, and with a shriek of disgust and anger, I wailed away at him, beating him to a bloody pulp with my forehooves until Stock finally had to pull me off.

“Zeed, calm down, you’re gonna kill him!”

“He fucking deserves it!” I screamed. My vision was blurred by tears, and I was shaking violently.

The stallion laughed. “Oh, you think this is bad? You shoulda seen me in my raider days! Woo, was I wild. I was even wilder than that one zebra raider, eh, what was his name… Ah who cares, he tore apart all of the west side of Canturbury. Raping, pillaging. Mostly raping. Gotta agree, that was the best-“

Stock grabbed his pistol and fired a single shot into his skull.

I stood there, shaking, staring at the now-dead slaver. He would’ve... How could he even think of doing that to me? T-to anypony? The way he was staring at me… I felt nauseous as the fear finally set in.

“Zeed? Zeed, are you okay?”

Just the thought of him being anywhere near me, touching me like that, m-making me… forcing me to… he could have killed me, or… he could have left me alive… held me down… again and again and-

I held a hoof over my mouth.

“Zeed, hey, it’s alright. Zeed?”

I staggered over to the door, and leaned against the wall just outside the room, feeling like I was about to vomit.

Stock cautiously walked over to me, and put a wing around my shoulder. She didn’t say anything.

I stayed there until my body stopped shaking, all the while the two tied-up slavers complaining about their situation. I hadn’t realized how much my heart had been pounding at the time, but I calmed myself enough that it slowed down to a normal speed.

Stock held out a bottle of water to me, which I took and gulped down gratefully.

“Feel better?” Stock asked quietly, her face bearing a gentle expression of concern.

I wiped my mouth. “Much better thank you. Mother of Luna… I can’t believe somepony would do that.”

“You’re alright. Don’t worry.” She gave me a quick, gentle hug. “He didn’t get the chance to do anything. You’ll be okay.”

“Thanks.” I exhaled slowly, and managed to fully regain my composure.

We were silent for a moment.

“So… we gonna get some info out of them?” I asked.

Stock guffawed. “Nah. We can figure it out ourselves. Let’s just leave them in there. Lock the door.”

~~~~

“Don’t say it.” Stock grumbled.

“I wasn’t going to, I swear.” I tried to suppress a laugh.

“Yes. I regret not getting directions out of them.” She continued. “No, I don’t wanna go back.”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything.”

We stood in an iced-over security office, staring out the door at a very familiar flooded room with a blown-up catwalk. I could see the wet clothes that Raid and Knives had abandoned earlier, now frozen to the point where they were stuck to the floor.

“We’re not lost.” Stock sighed.

“Of course not. We know exactly where we are.” I chortled. “We just don’t know how to get where we want to go.”

Reaching into my lab coat pocket, I pulled out a cigarette, and began my usual method of lighting it.

I put the cigarette on the frozen floor, readied my laser in my mouth, and-

Slipped.

Instead of the red beam hitting the cigarette, it went wide, not even in the same direction as the target. Stock let out a yelp of surprise.

Pulling myself back to my hooves, I groaned. “Ow. You alright, Stock? I didn’t hit you, did- oh…”

The ghoul’s eye twitched. A bit of smoke was coming off the top of her head. I’d hit one of the few remaining tufts of mane she had left.

“Okay. We’re getting you a hoof lighter.” She said quietly, cautiously rubbing the smoldering chunk of flesh.

I chuckled nervously, and started back the way we’d come. “We should… ah… go back. There was a hallway earlier we could try going down.”

“Fine, just… don’t light any sticks for a while…” She sighed. “I’d like to keep what’s left of my mane.”

“Sorr- do you hear that?” My ears perked up.

“Hear what?”

“Shh, listen!”

There was a gruff-sounding voice with a weird echo back where we’d come from.

I shot down the hallway, Stock in tow, with both of us trying to follow the source of the voice.

“…ghting is f…” Just down the hallway? No, further than that. “... ot for bel…”

“Where is it coming from?” I growled.

“Down here!” Stock moved down a hallway we’d ignored on our first pass. I darted down after her.

“…pit and tear you li…”

“It’s the speaker system! C’mon, before they stop talking!” Stock hissed.

I ran as fast as I could, chasing after Stock and making sure we didn’t lose track of the voice.

And then, I smelled fresh air… sort of…

The cloying scent of sweat, misery, and things better left unmentioned filled my nostrils, making my eyes tear up. I spat out my cigarette and covered my muzzle with the lab coat.

“…who caused all of this panic will be serving as tonight’s entertainment. That is all.”

There were ponies and zebras everywhere. There were even zonies milling about. The only time I’d ever seen this many equines gathered in the same place was in the Section 3 cafeteria on fresh fruit day when some nutcase was giving lessons on anti-fruit self-defense.

Stock and I had come out into the lobby of a former dentist’s office, long since robbed of most of its equipment. It was a shame, as I could probably have used some of it, but there wasn’t much I could do.

Stock swore under her breath. Seeing my inquisitive look, she pointed to the nearest slave. I stared at him for a moment before I decided I had no idea what she was pointing at.

“I have no idea what you’re pointing at.”

“The collar! It’s a fucking explosive.” She hissed. “Fuck, that’s a pretty big problem.”

“Okay, so how can we get them off?”

“Keys. We need to find where they’re keeping the keys.” She tapped her chin in thought. “They’ve gotta have some kind of office in the city. Someplace they store the collars. There might be something we can use there.”

“Which brings us to the next problem, how are we going to get there?” I asked. Pointing at my neck, I stared at the undead mare. “We’re not exactly inconspicuous. Especially you. I don’t see many ghouls or pegasi around here, do you?”

She bit her lip and looked around. After a moment she looked at me, and cocked her head. “That could work…”

“What? What could work?” I asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“We left them… hmmm… yes… yes…” She grinned. “Zeed, how good an actress are you?”

“Terrible.” My eyes darted around as I looked for an exit. “Why do you ask?”

“Think you could be a slaver for a bit?”

...

“Fuck.”

“C’mon, Zeed. We need to get these ponies… eh… people out of here.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “One: I hate that word. Two: I just said I’m a terrible actress. Three: How would I-“

“We left those three in that room, remember?” She stepped towards me. “We have to do something.”

“Can’t we think of something else?”

“Can you?”

“…”

“That’s what I thought. Now come on and let’s get your costume.” She trotted back inside.

~~~

“Of course they got out…” Stock sighed as she picked up the shredded rope.

“Wha- bu-how…” I stammered. “How? They were tied up!”

“The mare probably used one of her spikes to cut her way through.”

“Oh, wonderful.” I groaned. “Now we’ve got a couple of slavers running around who know what we look like. Luna’s moon, they even took that sick fuck’s body with them!”

“It’s okay Zeed. We’ll just have to try to get their barding some other way.”

“Like how?”

“We’ll think of something.”

“What, do you expect me to seduce one of them?” I clapped my hoof over my mouth. Stock grinned widely. “Crap.”

“Can you manage that?”

“Probably. The question is will I. The answer is a big, fat ‘no’.”

“Then why did you suggest it?”

“This is where my thoughts go, okay?” I frowned. “Besides, i doubt sleeping with slavers will give me points in getting my marefriend back.”

“Well, you don’t have to sleep with them. Just get them into bed and knock them out or something.”

“No.”

“You’d have a better chance of finding out where your father is.” She said.

I opened my mouth to reply, but despite the ridiculousness of the situation and how much I did not want to do this, I couldn’t seem to come up with an argument against that. Odd, considering how stupid the idea was and how many ways it could backfire.

I groaned. “I’m gonna hate myself for this... I just know it...”

~~~~~

Green bit into the fruit. As far as she was concerned, pickled yucca was the best thing to have ever been invented in the history of best things to have ever been invented ever, and as such she savored every single second of the meal. She almost burst into tears as the bitter juices washed over her tongue. It had been the one thing she looked forward to for as long as she could remember, the most delicious food she’d ever had. Upon finishing the first fruit, she used a wingtip to fish another out of the fairly large jar that now rested inside her saddlebag, next to the can of Brawnco.

Wretch watched the filly with a hint of amusement, as she herself munched on a tomato. “Don’t go too crazy, Green. We don’t want you to make yourself sick again.”

Green finished her third fruit, and turned to sucking some of the leftover juice off her feathers.

“You ready to go?” The pink-and-black unicorn asked.

Green nodded, her stomach full and a dreamy expression on her face, as she followed her friend out of the bar and back into the rest of the Mall.

Wretch chuckled. “So, the bartender said his shop should be around here somewhere.”

“Hi there!”

Green let out a squeak, and shot towards the ceiling, where she clung to one of the exposed rafters, the fur on her neck standing on end. Wretch spun around, automatically taking on a defensive stance as she stared at the grinning zebra who’d startled her friend.

“Heard you’ve been looking for me?” He said.

Wretch gave him a suspicious glare. “Who are you?”

Green, her panic now mostly subsided, descended from the ceiling, and stood just behind Wretch.

The zebra continued to smile, and took a dramatic bow. “Xixixix, master of the memory orb, at your service.”

Wretch narrowed her eyes at him. “Y0u’re a zebra.”

“I am?” Xixixix blinked, and looked down at his legs. “Oh! You’re right, I am! I hadn’t noticed.”

While Green stifled a giggle, Wretch enveloped her shotgun in her magic. “How does a zebra use memory orbs?”

“With the most complicated piece of equipment ever to be made in Canturbury.” He replied. “Took me four years to find it. Almost got killed repeatedly. Well worth the effort. Sorta.”

The glow of Wretch’s horn died down as she slowly began to relax. “Why?”

“Why?” He laughed. “Makes psychology easier. Also great for taking notes and such. Hello there, miss! Haven’t seen any pegasi in a while.”

“Um…” Green looked at Wretch, immensely confused. The older mare just shrugged. “H-hi?”

“Anyway, why, exactly, have you been looking for me?”

“He needs me to find some very specific memory orbs.” Wretch said.

“Ooooh. Vague and cryptic.” Xixixix whispered. “I like that! Okay, we’ll talk inside. C’mon!”

With that, the zebra merrily trotted into the nearest and most unassuming shop in the area.

With another shrug, Wretch followed him inside, making sure to stay on her guard, while Green kept close to her side.

--------

Footnote 1: Diamond Knives

EXP ???%

~~~

Footnote 2: Zeed Kazdri

EXP: 30%

~~~

Footnote 3: Raid (???)

EXP: ???%
`

To-Do List:

Active Quest:

Where For Art Thou?:

-Find Raid

-Find Knives

Other quests:

Layin’ Down The Rails:

Find a way to remove bomb-collars

-Find a way inside Raftwater without getting killed

O’ Father, Where Art Thou?:

Infiltrate or assault the Bone Eaters’ base near Bladesville.

Sifting through the dust:

1) Find information on the location of Ashes.

2) Find information on the location of Obsidian Knives

3)–Find information on the location of Nezan Kazdri

Author's Notes:

So... after thinking for quite a while (read: twelve seconds) I've decided that I simply can't consider mlp season 3 cannon for this story. Mind you, I'm not opposed to the whole 'Twilight is an alicorn' thing, in fact, I was expecting it at some point, considering all the fics with exactly that. My problem is just that it kinda, sorta, completely and totally screws with FO:E cannon. Also means that any stories that use or try to use S3 as cannon also won't be considered cannon here. Not like I was really doing that anyway, but still. Just means i can work more of the stuff I wanted to in.

Anyway, thanks to Kkat for making this delightful sandbox of ours, and everypony else who made me want to write.Thanks to Matkingos for making sure this doesn’t suck as much as usual. Thanks to whomever reads this, and, yet again, critiques are very much welcome.