The back door to the Sugar Cube Corner is slammed against the wall and Pinkie Pie stumbles in, whimpering and shaking to where she can barely stand. She takes a few steps before she leans against the counter, wheezing and coughing. She yanks off her mask and fedora and throws them off to the side, revealing her flat mane matted with sweat and her bloody, scratched face, then she collapses by a garbage can and pukes in it, burning her throat with the pure acid. Her whole body trembles violently, and when she pukes again, her grip cannot keep her legs up and she falls to the floor, taking the can with her and spilling its contents all over floor.

Pinkie Pie shakes her head, wanting to throw the imagery of Terra's slaughter and Spike's mangled body out of her mind. She drags herself to the wall and presses her hooves against her face and screams as she kicks her hind legs out.

“I'm sorry,” sobs Pinkie Pie.

'Don't be sorry. Be afraid,' taunts the voice in her head. 'You got one of your friends killed. How's that going to look? I'll give you a hint: It's kinda on the pretty bad side.'

“I didn't mean to,” sniffles Pinkie Pie.

'They won't care. All they will see is Spike's blood all over your hooves.'

Pinkie Pie's eyes gradually open, growing larger as she looks at her bloody hooves, shaking and feeling light headed as the new tendrils of panic strangle her and squeeze her heart.

'His blood is all over you,' continues the voice in an eerie singsong tone. 'And you know what? That is a mark of the end of your friendships.'

“No,” whimpers Pinkie Pie in disbelief.

'Yes. Spike was sooo lovable and adorable and his stupidity got himself killed, but those fakes you call friends will blame you!'

Pinkie Pie once again closes her eyes and shakes her head. “It-It was... I tried to get him-”

'His blood. Your hooves. I think it's time for a shower, Pinkie. You smell like a dead dragon.'

“NO!”

Pinkie Pie jumps up, eyes still closed, and feels her body collide with another body and someone shout for her in a tone she cannot make out. She does not care about the pony she bumped into, though. All she can see is Spike's bloody body, feel his weak claws trying to hold her and hear that awful voice in her head.

'Wash up, Pinkie,' taunts the voice. 'Wash away the bad stuff. Then you can sing and dance your troubles away like Laughter is supposed to do!'

Pinkie Pie hits a table, knocking it over and collapses on the floor along with a chair she tried to grab to keep herself up. She barely hears her name being called again over her sobs and gulps for air. She feels a hoof go on her shoulder and another wrap around her barrel to help her up.

“Pinkie, are you okay?” asks the pony.

Pinkie Pie whimpers and sniffles and opens her eyes to see Cup Cake staring at her with worry, and tears in her eyes as well. The older mare grabs Pinkie Pie's hooves, her worry turning to fear and her jaw dropping and her breaths becoming short.

“Oh my goodness. Is this blood?” asks Cup Cake.

As soon as those words are spoken, Terra's blood-soaked, grinning face flashes across Pinkie Pie's eyes as if her physical form had manifested in between the two, making her jump and retreat, trembling and whimpering.

“No, nonononono,” whimpers Pinkie Pie quickly.

Cup Cake moves forward carefully and puts her hooves on Pinkie Pie's shoulder. “Pinkie, what happened to you? Is this your blood?”

'She'll go against you, too. Just you wait,' claims the voice.

Pinkie Pie closes her eyes and lowers her head, sniffling and suffocating as tears mix with the blood and fall to the floor as pink, hazy droplets.

“I'm sorry,” says Pinkie Pie when she gulps for air.

“Pinkie, please tell me what happened,” begs Cup Cake with tears rolling down her cheeks and her hoof gently cupping Pinkie Pie's face while her other hoof rubs her shoulder.

Despite her gentle touch, it still stings the bruises and cuts all over Pinkie Pie's face. Soon, Pinkie Pie breaks down and collapses to the floor, wailing, and Cup Cake scoops her up and hugs her tight, unaware of the pain her hug is putting on the Element's back. Pinkie Pie is too broken to care about her back, though. She got Spike killed. This pain is the least she deserves.

“Please don't hate me,” cries Pinkie Pie, her hooves hooking around Cup Cake and burying her face in the older mare's shoulder, staining her coat in sweat, blood, tears and grime.

Pinkie Pie's hooves paw at her surrogate mother, trying to get a better hold as Cup Cake gently shushes her and runs her hoof through the flattened, messy mane.

“It's okay, Pinkie, I got you,” says Cup Cake softy, shushing her again and stroking her mane as she weeps and shakes in her grip.

“Please don't let me go,” sobs Pinkie Pie, her shoulders buckling and her body feeling weaker by the second as misery and guilt sucks away everything she has. “Please don't- Please don't hate me. Don't- Please don't hate me. Please, please, please.”

Cup Cake takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and bows her head over Pinkie Pie's and continues rubbing her back while rocking her back and forth. “It's going to be okay, Pinkie, I promise.”

Pinkie Pie opens her eyes and tries to look into Cup Cake's eyes, hoping for a light in the darkness. “Pinkie Promise?”

Cup Cake hesitates. “I promise.”

A few hours later, Pinkie Pie finds herself sitting on her bed, staring at her map in a trance like state, still wearing her damp Mare-Do-Well costume, minus her mask and hat. Her mane and tail remain deflated, her face is covered in bruises and band-aids and her body is throbbing all over, each bruise like its own separate pulse. Spike's last tortured breaths and Terra's cackles torment her of ever second. Ever passing tick and tock is another opportunity for Terra to taunt her and for Spike to fight a hopeless battle for his life. She can still feel his claws on her when he held her in his last minutes of life.

'Don't be so gloomy. You told him not to go, but he went anyway. It is all his fault,' returns the voice in her head.

Pinkie Pie bows her head and squeezes her eyes shut, only for a flash of Terra's mutilated face to appear right before she had whacked her in the back with the mace. With that, comes a burst of pain in her back and she opens her eyes quickly, shivering and whimpering. All the damage that has happened today, all the lives lost and ruined, is because of her, this she knows.

If she had just let the League carry out their assassination without her interfering then Spike would still be alive, Shining Armor would not be crippled, and dozens would have been spared. Ivory Scroll had been -and still is- their target, and as she thinks about it, she believes that she should have just let the League kill her. After all they do target criminals and corrupt government officials and it would have been just the Mayor that suffered. Not her friends and dozens of other. But because Ivory Scroll lived, the League will be back and there is no telling what they will do ensure that she is killed or what acts of retribution they will carry out against the town.

As that phrase echoes in Pinkie Pie’s mind in sick loops, she looks at the junk on her floor and realizes that Redheart was right. The League of Justice is willing to go any length to accomplish their goals, and now that she has sabotaged their mission and killed one of their soldiers, they will be coming after her and Ivory Scroll in full force. She doesn’t need her Pinkie Sense to tell her that her end is near.

Pinkie Pie rubs her eyes, and the moment of her bashing Terra on the side of the head with the crude weapon flashes across her mind. She can’t scrub the image of Terra's destroyed face and the sick smile that accompanied it from her mind. It is like Terra didn’t even care that she was gravely injured. She had an objective and she was willing to kill anypony-

No. Anyone.

Pinkie Pie sniffles and lets her hooves drop to the comforter. She can only imagine the fear that Spike had felt when Terra attacked him, and the bodies... All those bodies. All the lives that Terra ended without hesitation. Terra’s demented laughter returns to taunt her, and the smell of smoke from the strange weapon tortures her nose.

The fight, the pain, the bruises and cuts that accumulated in their scuffle, and all the blood and mangled bodies cloud Pinkie Pie's thoughts so much that she barely hears a knocking. She thinks it is just her imagination, and actually hopes it is. She cannot bear to look at anyone for what she caused and what more pain will come because of her.

The knocking continues and a shaky voice calls her from the hallway. Pinkie Pie looks at the door, recognizing the voice to be Twilight’s, and she gulps and reluctantly approaches the door. Her legs feel like jelly and her throat tightens with her racing heart on her shuffle over, and when she opens the door partly, she sees Twilight.

Her friend's lavender coat and mane are a mess, covered in sweat and tears, and her eyes are large, red and puffy from the tears they are soaking in. More tears trail down her cheeks as she looks at Pinkie Pie, nearly on the verge of another emotional break down.

“Twilight...” is all Pinkie Pie can say. She knows what happened and wants to apologize, but she doesn’t know how to.

“Pinkie Pie, I have bad news,” says Twilight, still in the hallway, she takes a ragged breath and says: “Shining's been hospitalized and... And Spike’s dead.”

Pinkie Pie lightly bangs her head on the door frame, tears swell up in her eyes and she feels the weight of the world coming down on her. She had just gotten one of her friends killed; a friend that was like a son to Twilight.

“I-I’m sorry, Twilight,” says Pinkie Pie between her sniffles, “it should’ve never happened... It all went wrong...”

“Wha-What do you mean?” sniffles Twilight.

Pinkie Pie lets Twilight in her room, and her jaw drops when she sees what Pinkie Pie has been doing. and when she sees Pinkie Pie wearing her Mare-Do-Well costume she clenches her jaw and breathes heavily while smoke rises off of her.

“I only wanted to help,” says Pinkie Pie quietly, “I... I never wanted Spike to get involved. But he did it willingly... He died a hero.”

“You dragged Spike into this?” asks Twilight accusingly.

“No... I mean yes, but he-he helped me catch the first assassin and-and he went after the other one.”

“You got Spike KILLED!”

Pinkie Pie is slammed against the wall with enough force to leave large cracks in it and bits popping out. She yelps and squeezes her eyes shut, not wanting top open them when she feels an intense heat that singes her fur and costume and leaves her feeling dry, accompanied by roaring flames.

“LOOK AT ME!” screams Twilight.

Pinkie Pie reluctantly opens her eyes, sniffling and whimpering at the sight of her friend. She has only ever seen her in this state once, but she had hoped never to see it again because of how furious she was. Now, she is back. Her coat is white hot and her mane, tail and fetlocks are made of dancing flames that burn the ground and air around her. The floor darkens and peels, sending flakes of ash to circle around her with the burning pieces of paper and the Mare-Do-Well hat and mask.

Pinkie Pie whimpers louder and shrinks into her spot on the wall, hoping that Cup Cake will barge in and put a stop to this.

“WHY DID YOU DRAG SPIKE INTO THIS!” yells Twilight, every tear from her fiery eyes that rolls down her cheek quickly turning to vapor.

“I- I tried- I tried to stop him but he- he wouldn’t-” sobs Pinkie Pie

“BECAUSE OF YOU HE’S DEAD!”

“Twi, I’m sorry!”

“SORRY WON’T BRING SPIKE BACK!”

“Twilight, I-I’m sorry,” stammers Pinkie Pie. “I-I was only-only trying to do what was right.”

“Don’t even bother coming to Spike’s funeral.”

“What! Twi, please!”

Twilight throws Pinkie Pie to the ground and presses her hoof on her chest. Laughter squirms under Magic's wrath, wincing and trying to touch her hooves to pry her off so her chest does not burn away. However, Twilight's hoof is too hot, so all Pinkie Pie can do is lie there and accept her punishment for breaking apart Twilight's family.

“Don’t you ‘Twi’ me!” snarls Twilight.

“What are you doing!” yells a mare furiously.

Twilight and Pinkie Pie both turn their heads to look at the source right as Cup Cake shoves Twilight off, unfazed by the fact that the unicorn is engulfed in flame. Twilight stumbles back, mostly out of shock of what has happened, and Pinkie Pie stares at Cup Cake, breathing heavily and trying to swallow what little spit remains.

“Get out of my house!” orders Cup Cake, her hoof aimed at the door and a snarl scrunching up her muzzle. “You are not welcomed here anymore!”

Twilight takes a deep breath and returns returns to her normal form, sweating and panting with her mane a mess. She exhales and wipes her sweaty bangs out of her eyes, then she hastily walks towards the door, stopping and looking at Pinkie Pie when she is in the doorway.

“Consider our friendship over,” growls Twilight.

She slams the door shut with her magic, making Pinkie Pie cringe. When the footsteps fade and the front door of the Sugar Cube Corner is opened and slammed shut, Pinkie Pie meekly looks up at Cup Cake, trembling. The older mare is still staring at the door with a tight jaw and narrowed eyes, silently daring the rest of the world to come in and cause trouble.

“Are you alright?” asks Cup Cake seconds later.

Pinkie Pie shakes her head, sniffling and wiping the tears from her eyes. “No. I... I just want to be alone.”

Cup Cake looks at Pinkie Pie for a few seconds, then she reluctantly nods and walks out, giving her one last look before gently shutting the door. Pinkie Pie waits until she hears Cup Cake's hooves fade before she stands up and looks out her window. She barely see's Twilight rounding the corner and many heads have turned while more ponies speed-trot away from her general direction. Some guards pass by their house, ordering the pedestrians to return to their homes, and Pinkie Pie slides back to the floor, covering her face and whimpering.

A moment later, she throws down her hooves, gulps for air, then she bites down on the Mare-Do-Well pin and yanks it off with a hard tug, causing the cape to fall to the floor in a jumbled mess. After that. she spits the pin into her hoof and holds it up to her eyes, studying the curvy 'M' with growing disgust. She grits her teeth and throws it to the ground, and angrily watches it bounce and roll to a stop under her map. Then she tears off her tattered Mare-Do-Well costume and shoves it in the clown shaped trash bin, screaming and swearing incoherently as she beats the ruined cloth until it is flat. Then she kicks garbage can over and throws it across the room, screaming madly, where it shatters the mirror attached to her dresser. The glass shards cascade down and shatter against the dresser and floor, and the remains of the mirror tip over and snap upon impact. After doing that, Pinkie Pie lies on her bed and closes her eyes, sobbing for what seems like a few minutes, but when she opens them there is only darkness. Not even the light f the moon can be seen through the thick canvas of clouds and she has a feeling that the sounds of a chugging engine and the lights that follow belong to the military doing their patrols.

Pinkie Pie sits on her bed, staring at the dark spot where her mirror used to be for a few minutes before she forces herself out of her bed. Then she walks towards her dresser and opens up one of the drawer to pull out a headset and lift up a dial. She slips on the headset and presses a little lever where the device rests and sighs when she hears clicks and hums on the other end. She then takes a deep breath and begins spinning the dial in the sequence of numbers. She stops at the last number, not really sure if she should complete the sequence. But after a few seconds, a ding alerts her of the time limit and out of reflex, she turns the dial to the last number. Immediately after, the other end starts ringing.

And it keeps ringing. And ringing. And ringing.

Pinkie Pie closes her eyes and bangs her head against the dresser top, whining quietly. Then the other end beeps and her ears and heart spike. What comes next, though, makes her heart sink.

“Hi, you’ve reached Octavia. Sorry I’m not available at the moment, but if you leave your name and number I’ll call you back as soon as I can,” says Octavia, her years in Canterlot have given her the ‘Royal Canterlot Accent’.

The other end beeps again and Pinkie Pie takes a nervous, deep breath before she leaves her message. “Hey, Octavia, this is Pinkie. We haven’t spoken in a while and... And I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for not being a good sister to you and... And I love you.”

Pinkie Pie hangs up, takes another deep breath and wills herself to dial another number. Every ring that follows makes her stomach churn and sends a tear down her cheek, and just when she’s about to hang up, an old stallion answers.

“Who’s this?” asks the stallion gruffly.

Pinkie Pie is unable to answer.

“If you don’t talk, I’m going to hang up,” threatens the stallion on the other end.

“Hey, Dad, it’s me,” says Pinkie Pie nervously.

“...Octavia?”

“No, Dad, it’s me... Pinkamena.”

There is an awkward, heavy silence that passes, and then Pinkie Pie sniffles. This gets her father talking.

“Pinkamena, what’s wrong?” asks her father worryingly.

“Nothing’s wrong... Just... I just want to apologize,” says Pinkie Pie, stifling a sniff.

“For what?”

“For leaving... And missing all those birthdays, and not being there when you needed me after Mom-”

“Pinkamena, there’s nothing to apologize for. You lived your life.”

“But I-”

“I don’t want to hear it, young lady. I live on a rock farm, I can’t get hurt, remember?”

Pinkie Pie forces a chuckle while her father genuinely laughs at his joke. She then wipes her nose and stares at the ceiling, trying to get herself to smile at the sound of her father’s voice. At least she’ll be speaking to one member of her family until her end.

“Now tell me, what’s wrong,” her father says sympathetically.

“I wanted to surprise you this year on your birthday. You know, get Octavia, Maud and Limestone and celebrate your birthday as a family for at least one more time,” says Pinkie Pie. She breathes heavily and wipes her eyes.

“I guess I am getting old, and it would’ve been nice if it was an actual surprise.”

“I guess I let the surprise slip.”

“I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear it. But what’s bothering you?”

“I just lost a friend, probably all of my friends actually...”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. What happened?”

“I was only trying to do the right thing and... And now I don’t think I’ll be able to get our family together for your birthday.”

“You’re not making much sense. Why don’t you come down to the rock farm so we can talk about it together, face to face?”

“No, dad, I don’t want them to hurt you. Just know that I have always loved you... Do you still love me?”

“Pinkamena Diane Pie, I will always love you no matter what, you hear?”

Pinkie Pie nods and whimpers softly. “I guess that was a stupid question.”

“What did you mean when you said you didn’t want ‘them’ to hurt me?” asks her father.

“I have to go. I love you.”

“Pinkie-!”

Pinkie Pie hangs up, and is about to go back to her bed, but when it starts ringing again, she runs back to the device, yanks out the headset and tosses it away. The ringing stops and she trudges back to her bed, head down and tail dragging. After crawling on her bed, she curls up in a tight ball and squeezes her eyes shut, hoping that this is all just a horrible nightmare, and that when she wakes up everything will be back to normal.

Author's Notes:

Edited on 10 Oct 2014