[Serenity's Waste]

"AH~! IS GOZIRA~! WE GONNA DIE~!” Jack screamed as he along with most of the group ran away from the giant green laser beam Iwajira somehow fired from his three-hinged jaw.

“Oh stop being such babies! It’s just a kraggon!” Wilhelm said right before getting smacked by Iwajira’s right claw and sent flying into Aurelia, knocking her over and pinning her.

“As flattering as such a situation is, I kindly suggest you MOVE!” Aurelia shouted as she hugged Wilhelm and rolled them away from a barrage of green exploding rocks the great Godzilla-imitator launched at them like a cannon. “When this is over with I had best have finally earned my wings!”

“Flee! Flee from the splash zone!” Luna shouted from afar, having stayed far enough away from Iwajira that she wasn’t in immediate danger as she peppered the great rock beast with her cryo lasers. “What is this creature?! How could any beast borne of our moon be strong enough to resist our power?!”

“If it makes ya any happier, blame Dahl!” Nisha shouted as she evaded a swipe of the beast’s claws and threw a grenade at it’s head, only reaching it’s neck and sticking there, before exploding violently and making Iwajira roar in pain as it’s molten green acid-lava blood dumped out, almost raining on Nisha who had to use her wings to help her back off, even if her damaged one made it less effective.

“If it’s okay with all of you! I’m going to sit this one out! I’m made of metal after all! Wilhelm! You shouldn’t be fighting it either! My scans indicate your cybornetics aren’t made of polymers and resins, that thing’ll dissolve your limbs right off!” Fragtrap shouted from near Luna, peppering the beast from afar with his rifle, irritating it and distracting it as best he can.

“Stuff it, ya toaster. That thing hit me, and I’m killing it!” Wilhelm yelled as he ran towards the beast, firing at it with his shotgun that had started to glow yellow, firing a stream of rapid-fire pellets straight at the thing’s face, and it took the shots before roaring and vomiting acid-lava at him.

“Wilhelm get out of there! Get your Nukem ready, I don’t think this thing’ll be going down with anything less!” Jack shouted as he aimed his thankfully shock-element Maliwan sniper rifle and shot into the thing’s mouth, getting it’s attack interrupted as Wilhelm rolled to the side, and a second sniper round entered it’s mouth courtesy of Aurelia, who had taken Wilhelm’s bullrush as a chance to get some distance from the beast.

“Yes! Enforcer Wilhelm! Use thine impressively potent rocket launcher to end this cur!” Luna added as she redoubled her efforts, firing an alternating stream of cryo lasers into the monster’s maw as Wilhelm doubled back and summoned forth Nukem onto his shoulder, the process being even faster and easier with the Master Code unlocking his Echo’s limits.

“Just a note, this thing eats ammo.” Wilhelm complained as he shot Iwajira in the face with the Nukem. The effect was profoundly potent, and the great beast’s head was blown clear off, sending the body slumping, until it rumbled, and exploded again, only this time with two equal-sized sections flying out in a frighteningly familiar fashion.

“Oh FUCK no! This thing can split like the normal ones?!” Nisha cursed as one of the halves landed almost smack-dab in the middle of the group, unfolding into a still-massive beast of ridiculous size compared to us. “At least the other one ended up on the other side of the canyon!” Nisha shouted as she ran away from Iwajira lumbering after her on all four legs like a normal kraggon.

“Good thing these things can’t really jump all that well when they’re big!” Aurelia added as she eyed the other one roaring at them from the other side, before pacing, and sulking as it started lumbering off to the lava pool. “I don’t think we could’ve handled them both at once.”

“Ya got that right. And since this guy’s weaker…” Wilhelm said before whispering something to Fragtrap over private Echo.

“You really think I can?” Fragtrap asked.

“Of course you can, little guy.” Wilhelm encouraged.

“Well then, let’s do this.” Fragtrap said before charging Iwajira and shouting, “LEEROY JENKINS!” Jack groaned as he facepalmed, ignoring the screams of the little robot as the giant beast took him into it’s mouth and started shaking, the robot’s titanium chassis being more resistant to the acids than more common metals.

“Damn it James...okay, save Fragtrap.” However, everyone was surprised when Iwajira howled in agony as it’s chest started convulsing, before one last shake caused a section of it’s front to crack open, spewing more of it’s molten life-blood.

“Ha! Suck grenades bitch!” Fragtrap shouted as he tossed what seemed to be the last of several grenades into the thing’s gullet, and the thing’s cracked chest exploded outward in a rocky blossom of green lava, making it cough and send Fragtrap flying towards the group, bouncing along due to his trapezoidal frame.

“Told you you could do it, little buddy!” Wilhelm shouted.

“FINISH HIM!” Fragtrap shouted from his place laying on the ground with an unusually deep and resonating voice.

“Dude. Don’t do that again.” Wilhelm said as he took yet another shot at Iwajira with the Nukem then went to reload as the pitifully weakened beast exploded violently in a rain of rocks, rapidly cooling lava, and loot, as all Great and Powerful creatures tend to do in this universe for some reason. “Wow, that was easy.”

“AND YOU HAD TO FUCKING JINX IT!” Jack screamed, getting everyone to look back over the canyon and see the other remaining half of Iwajira rolling towards the ramp on that side like a bowling ball, and everyone scattered as it ramped up and over the canyon, unfolding a bit before balling up again and taking the plunge, it’s mass making up for the lower gravity and knocking everyone over, flinging those closest; Wilhelm and Frag, further away, before it unfolded and roared into the air, launching a plume of acid-lava all over like a volcano.

“We grow tired of this! Taste our magic, cur!” Luna’s eyes turned white, and she floated up as her cerulean aura encompassed her body, and fired a condensed beam of pure cryo energy at the beast, that initially roared in preparation for pain, but instead growled in confusion before howling with joy as Luna gasped and fell to her knees. “W-what? O-our power….” Luna passed out, her beam stopping and the beast roared before erupting with cryo ice spikes all over, dripping as they were rapidly freezing, melting, and refreezing from the combination of molten rock, acid, and cryo, seeming to have stolen Luna’s energy for a power-up.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW CAN IT DO THAT?! Luna’s the GODDESS of this rock!” Jack screamed in fury as he jumped to the side to evade a shard of ice that exploded into shrapnel, peppering his shield to almost full depletion.

“I don’t know. I don’t care. All I know is that I’m gonna kill it.” Wilhelm said as he approached, dusting off the bits of moon rock from himself. “That thing sent me into a building and into the floor. I am not letting it live.” Wilhelm then charged at the massive Kraggon, only for his charge to be halted by Iwajira grabbing him in a fore claw and attempting to crush, and then eat Wilhelm. It only managed to damage Wilhelm’s robotic left forearm and clutch his lower left leg in his maw, getting just past the cybernetic boot on it, and ripping it off. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“WILHELM! DAMN IT! IT TOOK HOURS TO GET THAT INSTALLED!” Jack screamed with even more rage. “WILHELM! PROTOCOL T3000!”

“Gladly.” Wilhelm said in a voice that sent chills down the other’s collective spines and chassis while Jack merely crossed his fingers. Wilhelm’s optic then began to glow brightly as the color changed to a deep crimson. “TERMINATION PROTOCOL ACTIVE!” He then glared directly into Iwajira’s eyes. “YOU. ARE. TERMINATED!” Then, Wilhelm exploded. Not literally though, he caused an explosive nova around him that also had a similar potency and effect as the Nukem’s special missiles, but with a larger blast radius. The blast kicked up a ton of dust and sent loot flying everywhere, making it impossible to tell if the result of Wilhelm’s massive blast.

“WOO! It worked! Took months of trial and error, but the Termination Protocol works!” Jack crowed in victory, totally unconcerned for Wilhelm’s welfare at the moment as he began walking casually into the settling dust. “Yo Wil! You alive? Need rezz?” No response. “Damn it, did you short out your voice box again? Slam a limb into the ground so I can find you in this dust.” A weak tapping came from the forward left. “Oh, great, you’re losing blood again, aren’t you? Coming to stab you with a health hypo.”

Jack soon found Wilhelm, his left leg even less organic now with more of his thigh gone, and his forearm’s cybernetics had damaged the tissue of the mounted area. “Gah! This’ll take ages! Here, a hypo, ya sure ya just don’t want me to shoot you in the skull, get a rezz? Sure it’ll cost a few thousand bucks, but it’d save time.” Jack growled as he stabbed the hypo into Wilhelm’s shoulder, his stump leg stopped gushing blood and his forearm healed up, but Jack groaned at seeing he might need to reintegrate the mounting into wil’s flesh, and that usually means having to cut back a bit of the flesh for fresh nerves.

“Jus̷̴̀͘͞t̸̀́͠ ̷̴͝f҉i͢x me.” Wilhelm got out in a very quiet and screwed up robotic voice.

“Ugh, fine ya big baby. Dying sucks, but it would’ve been easier than what I have to do now. Hope you don’t mind getting upgrades ahead of schedule.” Jack grumbled, using his telekinesis to levitate the gimp as he started stomping his hooves in the direction of Concordia while the others all got their loot on. “Be sure to share, or whatever, I’ve got to get Wil to Concordia for repairs and upgrades.”

“OHMYGOSH! A THINGY!” Fragtrap shouted in excitement as he rolled up to Jack and held up a green rocket launcher with yellow Eridian lines running over it, and it had horn-like protrusions around the end of the tube. “Sometimes, a Legendary weapon is born of the labors of unloved, hated monsters. This, a Thingy, is an ultra rare product replicated by bandits and scavs the galaxy over, but considering how shitty most of their gear is, it’s so hard to come by this model.”

“B̷̀̀͡i̵̴̧̕҉t́͜͞͡c͟͞h̸̀͡ ̛͡t̛͝h̡̡ą̸̀͟ţ̷͟'̨͏̢s҉̵̧ ̢̀͘͡m̷̧̡͠͠i̵̧͜n̴̸̕͟͠e̴̢͝͝!” Wilhelm attempted to shout in his glitchy and damaged voice. “M̵͘y̸̸͢ ̵̢͠ḱ͢͜i̛l̵̛͜͠͡ļ͜,̸̴ ̵̷̕m̸҉̸́y̕̕͜ ̛͞҉l̷͟͡o̶̴ò̧͡t͠҉.̷́̀͢͏” WIlhelm then coughed up a little bit of blood.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you through all the interference in your voice module. I’ll just hold onto this for you for now, my frame’s too top-heavy to use something like a launcher efficiently, and the others are picking things they prefer up already.” Fragtrap put the epic legendary weapon in his Echo, and Wilhelm grumbled before Jack stabbed another hypo into him, and levitated Luna along as he and Fragtrap continued towards Concordia while the others looted and got their shit in order.

[Concordia]

Riding the small monorail from the station to the top level of the mostly subterranean colony city of Concordia was nice enough, considering the thing smelled of copper and gunpowder like most Dahl things did. Thankfully the ride was smooth though, since Jack took the short trip to open up Wilhelm’s back panel, and fix his voice modulator so he could speak.

When they reached the terminal, it was nice enough, fairly clean and all, but when they walked down the corridor, a blue claptrap stopped them dead. “Halt! Nobody is allowed into Concordia without a passport, present your papers!” The impudent thing demanded.

“What did you just demand of your superior being you mother-trucker?!” Fragtrap demanded.

“Oh! A violation! You’re potty mouth has broken Concordia’s verbal refuse laws, you just got a ticket!” The little shit actually wrote out a ticket on the spot.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Fragtrap screamed, and the ass with the police hat instantly wrote out another ticket.

“And you just got another ticket! That’s two tickets, I love rules!”

“Fuck off you little worthless piece of scrap!” Fragtrap squealed, his optic turning red before he grabbed the suddenly flailing smaller claptrap by the arms, and quickly ripped them out, before jamming his servos into the power-abusing thing’s eye, and ripped that out too, before Frag summoned his Vladof pistol and spammed bullets into the already-dead thing until the clip ran out, the robot psychosomatically taking heavy breaths. “FUCK! ALL! CLAPTRAPS!” Fragtrap screamed in fury with a distorted deeper voice as alarms rang across the station and all the things sealed by the Customs Claptrap were unlocked across the station.

“W-what’s happened?! Who broke the Customs Claptrap again? Was it you Trixie?” A pudgy mare with tan fur and gray done up-in-a-bun mane asked worriedly over the Echo.

“Trixie has done no such thing! The little parasite learned from last time that Trixie is fully licensed to sell her wares on Elpis.” A rather beautiful young mare with powder-blue fur and a long silver mane rebutted. “I heard gunfire, might be scavs again, or tourists the stupid thing agitated too much.”

“Oh well, I was considering retiring the damned thing anyway. It served it’s purpose for years but I’m tired of the thing. Ahem. Citizens of Concordia, from this day forth, the Customs Claptrap is hereby removed from duty. Permanently.” The round-cheeked mare’s announcement was responded to with an innumerable number of cheers echoing from the whole city, even all the way up from the bottom of the giant pit in the center the group had approached. “So this means I’m in need of a deputy, I’ll be holding interviews for anyone who’s interested. That is all.”

“Trixie thanks you for destroying that blasted machine! Please, come to Trixie’s Magical Emporium under the bank, second highest level for a reward for claptrap’s death. Oh...that felt so good to say.” The mare named Trixie offered, and the waypoint instantly updated that as a priority.

“Hey fellas...sorry for losing it back there, I don’t know what came over me. I was just suddenly FILLED with blind rage and hatred!” Fragtrap apologized getting Jack to wave him off.

“Hey, no big, I was a step away from doing it myself. But what was that Orbatron for anyway? We got in just fine.” Jack mused, before Wilhelm shuddered at realizing why, but not being able or willing to tell. “Whatever, if she’s who I think she is, this Trixie will be a good contact.”

They traipsed down the way towards the bank, and then went to the side to a stairway, where Jack and Wil both marveled at Fragtrap’s amazing stair-climbing wheel, which literally turned into a sort of morphing black tire that seamlessly met each step with solidity. After the marvelling was through and Frag’s ego was stoked a bit, they rounded the corner of the next level down, which had two stories of space between the floor and ceiling, and around to the right was a traditional WOOD sign of a top hat and classic showman’s wand with the title: Trixie’s Magic Emporium, under it.

“Nice place. Got a fancy sign out front, wondering what it’s like inside.” Wilhelm said with genuine curiosity. “Seriously. The last time I saw wood was down on Pandora, actual fucking TREES of all things. Remember Jakobs Cove?” Wilhelm prodded, bringing memories of a couple weeks ago to the fore.

“The place that had that zombie infestation a few years back? Yeah, we were only there a couple days, but you don’t forget seeing trees, especially not that big.” Jack reminisced.

“Yeah, that place is pretty cool. Dead guys and fancy shit. Anyways, you have a pretty cool place. In fact, it’s a bit too nice. You secretly a merc or a bandit lord?” Wilhelm joked as the three entered the shop, and were stunned at all the WOOD inside. Wood shelves, wood cabinets, actual BOOKS of all things, made of paper, and even the counter was made of pure, rich, dark wood, lacquered and polished to a shine as the rather attractive mare behind it smugly ran her hands across the beyond valuable surface, her admittedly eye-catching bust in her classy blue robe barely even distracting from the obscenely beautiful mirror-like surface.. “Again, way too nice. In fact, I think I remember seeing your picture somewhere…”

“To lay aside any concerns of legality, I am Trixie; former premier duelist from Promethea.” The mare informed, and Jack’s jaw dropped as Wilhelm shouted in alarm from the green aura suddenly vanishing from him and dropping him a few feet like a sack of potatoes.”

“THE Trixie?! Trixie the Trickster? Trixie the Teenage Duelist?” Jack asked excitedly with a total fangasm on the way. “You disappeared from the dueling circuit a few years back and nobody could find hide nor hair of you.”

“Well, Trixie is glad her reputation still holds weight, but Trixie grew tired of her life as the Trickster. She wanted a calmer, quieter life helping promote the spread of magic. Also I just wanted to get off Promethea at last.” Trixie informed, only for Athena’s image to appear on the receiver of their Echos.

“And being a traitor.” Came Athena’s voice over Echo. She sounded a bit more… happy. Looked like she had just had a nice time, too. “Guys, as much as I’d love to be over there, I’m busy with Janey. If you could kill her for me, that’d be nice.” Then the echo went silent.

“Oh, damn. That was Athena wasn’t it?” Trixie sighed and combed a hand through her mane idly, as if being a target was truly no issue, which considering her previous vocation, it wasn’t.

“Yeah, she’s kind of our friend. Well, more like business associate.” Wilhelm said. “Don’t worry, you’ve given us no reason to kill you. Be glad Athena’s not here.”

“Uh, Wil? I know you saw that griff in action. I don’t want to piss her off.” Jack admitted. “But, that also works both ways here. You still duel?” Jack offered, and the mare smirked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Not really. Trixie is retired, after all…but Trixie might be willing to…for a price.” Trixie added as she looked Jack up and down, making the stallion blush at once again being ogled. “Well...perhaps...it has been a long time. If you would give Trixie either some help in the shop, or a date, she’d accept. But first; your reward little robot. I saw over the cameras that you’re the one who butchered that idiot machine, and even if you are one too; that instantly puts you in my good books. It’s trash really, but I want you to have this. Prepare to get your ears blown out.”

Trixie warned before she took out...oh...oh hell no, not one of-. “HOLY SHIT! WHERE WAS THAT THING HIDING?!” Jack and Wilhelm cringed at the new voice. It was unmistakable who it was, there was only one person with that voice in the entire galaxy. “SORRY IF IT SEEMS SUSPICIOUS I CAN SEE WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE, BUT AS A CORPORATE HEAD, I HAVE ACCESS TO RANDOM ECHO FEEDS, AND AUTO-TAG ANYTHING WITH SPECIFIC CRITERIA!” Mr. Torgue High-Five Flexington, founder and head of the Torgue Corporation.

“Warned you.” Trixie smirked as she held up a Flakker, a piece-of-shit ‘Legendary’ shotgun, that only earned the title for its excessive power, and that it was the first ‘successful’ model Torgue ever released. There were about 30 or so out on the market as it was, but they were so disliked that they could be about anywhere, even in the trash, but often they somehow end up the first ‘Legendary’ weapon a collector gets their hands on, much to said collector’s embarrassment.

“I’m glad my Echolink is broken right now, still cringed even from a distance.” Wilhelm said. “Oh, by the way Jack, you’re going to have to fix that.”

“Swell….” Jack growled in annoyance.

“ANYWAY, LITTLE ROBOT DUDE! I WILL NOT SUBJECT YOU TO THE TORMENT OF MY FAILURE! BRING IT TO THESE COORDINATES, AND I WILL PROMPTLY BLOW IT THE FUCK UP, AND GIVE YOU THE FUNCTIONING VERSION OF THE FLAKKER THAT I NEVER RELEASED, OUT OF THE EMBARRASSMENT THAT THE ORIGINAL IS STILL ON THE MARKET!”

“Wow! Really? I get an exclusive gun?! This is so awesome!” Fragtrap squealed as Trixie handed him the soon-to-die shotgun.

“ONLY UNTIL I CAN BELIEVE THAT MOST OF ALL THE ORIGINAL FLAKKERS ARE GONE! WHICH MIGHT TAKE EVEN YEARS OF WRESTING THEM FROM FOOLISH COLLECTOR’S HANDS!”

“Neato! I’ll be heading out for a bit guys, be right back!” Fragtrap gleefully rushed out the open door, and the stallions turned their attention back to Trixie.

“So anyway, about that duel….” Jack then blushed at remembering she’d get a date with him if she won. “Um...I’m kinda not comfortable with dates though.”

“Too bad, if Trixie wins, you will take her for a lovely dinner to the Bison Bistro. They serve steak~.” Trixie tempted, and beings ponies here were omnivores what with Pandora being unforgiving, Jack’s mouth started watering, and Wilhelm down on the floor was too.

“Jack, come over here for a sec. First off, close your mouth. Second off, take this.” Wilhelm said, reaching for his echo and pulling out the Nukem. “Echolink may be broken, but storage isn’t. Be happy about that. Now buck up, do that duel, and shoot her with it!”

“O-okay. So, uh, what do I get if I win? Besides money I mean, you want a date, what could I get? Or...does it HAVE to be me?” Jack grinned evilly, looking down at a constant source of irritation yet companionship, and Wilhelm started sweating. “If I win; YOU have to take Wilhelm here to that Bison Bistro place.”

“Cool. Sounds like fun.” Wilhelm admitted, and the mare pouted as she looked down at the currently crippled cyborg, pursing her lips as if weighing her options, and huffed out her nose before gesturing out the door.

“Let us duel! It has been too long.” Trixie admitted with excitement, summoning what seemed to be a purple-rarity Vladof sniper rifle, making Jack’s eyes widen and he gulped nervously, hoping he didn’t make a stupid mistake. Sure he wouldn’t die, but it’d still hurt!

“Jack. Calm. Just use what I gave you. She may be a crackshot, but from what I remember you didn’t stipulate any rules yet.” Wilhelm said.

“I know, thanks.” Jack rustled his black leather jacket, rubbing the sleeves nervously as he stepped out into the large hall of the area, Trixie standing a ways down the path to the right. “Okay, so anything goes?”

“Yes, Trixie will allow you any weapon or tactics, this isn’t a competition duel.” She stated, and Jack took a deep, steadying breath. “On go.” Their Echos both suddenly red-barred in front of both of them with a countdown.

The instant it hit 1 and the starting chime began, Trixie moved her rifle to her face so fast Jack barely moved aside to dodge the bullet, and the subsequent bullets sent out of the automatic sniper rifle as he juked and summoned the weapon that Wilhelm lent him, grunting and barely managing to even hold it as he took aim and Trixie’s eyes widened in shock at her realizing she should’ve set some rules. “HAIL TO THE KING!” Jack shouted before launching a missile from the Nukem, the launch force alone being too much and toppling Jack over.

Trixie screamed as the explosion burned away her robe, her coat, and even some of her flesh but the Echo’s limited Duel Protection feature prevented it from outright killing her by locking her in a partially digistructed state until the attack ended. “Ah~! Ow~! Damn! Trixie hasn’t lost so badly before!” Jack’s nose asploded as even though she lost fur and some of her pale blue skin underneath was burned, she was now completely naked, her impressive bosom on display along with the rest of her. However she paid it no mind as she fished a hypo from her Echo and jammed it into her thigh, healing all the burns and returning her fur with a sigh as she put her hands on her luscious hips, her thick thighs proudly displaying her star wand and veil cutie marks to the universe. “Well...Trixie supposes it’s only fair, she didn’t think ahead.”

“Ma’am. You may want to -pffft- get some clothes.” Wilhelm chuckled. ‘Damn she’s hot….’

“Oh grow up, it’s only natural. Have you ever BEEN to Promethea? Most folks can’t even afford CLOTHES, so they go around in the buff in more rural places. Honestly, what is with people and all this talk of modesty?” Trixie asked with a huff, walking back into her store as casual as she pleased, her long silver tail swishing behind her tight, bubble buns.

“Trust me, I’ve been there. Hell, you think it’s that bad? Go look in the slums.” Wilhelm said.

“Oh, Trixie LIVED in the slums for years cyborg. Had to make do too. Imagine her frustration, trying to make a living in the local dueling district in the buff and nobody taking her seriously.” Trixie growled. “Lots of fools lost thinking they were all that because their opponent had no shield, or clothes for that matter, and look where they are; still at the bottom while Trixie rose up and out.” Trixie proudly put a hand to her hip and the other over her large breasts in pride. “Regardless, very well, the duel is done, the stakes must be carried out. You best get on your hooves quick cyborg, Trixie isn’t patient.” She turned and stretched as she walked, Wilhelm idly eyeing her flanks.

“Hmph...I’m ordering the most expensive steak in the place.” Wilhelm warned, grinning. ‘Mmmm...steak….’

“Alright, now that that’s over with, let’s see about trying to fix you up...maybe I can scrap that claptrap for parts.” Jack mused as he levitated Wilhelm out of the nude mare’s store.

“Please no.”

“Ep-ep-ep! Robot gets no choice in the matter.”

“Asshole….”

Author's Notes:

Once again, DJ A String pushes and I must comply with my awesome friend, even if I want to play Bloodborne more than anything right now

We been slaying and preying on Iwajira for a while now to get a feel for this thing, and also because Iwa is a cheap and easy source of moonstone.