“Sometimes all your options are crappy and the only thing you can do is grab a plunger.”

The tester read positive.

I stood stock still, like a deer in the headlights as Reuben held up the tester for me to see. The gears of my head ground against the newfound realization, as unexpected as a slap in the darkness and ten times as powerful. It was as if someone had paused my mental process, leaving me stuck on that one, singular thought.

I was pregnant.

Deep down in my belly, a twinge of muscle startled me, jumpstarting my brain with a painful poke to my abdomen.

“It’s, um…” I began, thinking up a good lie. There was no way the little gnat was going to be the first one to hear I was pregnant, “It’s just something to...to make sure I’m healthy,” I finally said, jerking my hoof up to the tester, thankful I wasn’t shaking like a leaf. The smiley face on it grinned back at me, like some chippy harbinger of doom, “See the smiley face?” I smiled for emphasis, hoping it didn’t look too forced, “That means I’m healthy.”

Reuben frowned, turning his eyes to the tester. I silently hoped that he hadn’t gone through sex education yet; or, if he had, that he’d been paying more attention to ‘vagina’ and ‘clitoris’ than ‘pregnancy tester.’ He looked up suddenly.

“Oh,” he said, swallowing the lie and letting me breath a little easier.

‘He bought it! He bought it. Phew!’ I wiped my mental brow…and suddenly realized something, letting an angry scowl hide my stricken heart, “Now what in the big blue sky are you doing in my room!?” I demanded.

“U-u-uh,” he said stupidly, then darted out the door in a flutter of wings, dropping the tester as he went.

I had just enough willpower to slam my door shut and turn back to the tester before my legs gave out and my butt hit the floor, leaving me staring at the tester. The smiley face met my gaze, its maniacal laughter echoing through the halls of my mind.

I blinked first.

“I’m pregnant…” I tasted the words, then again, “I’m pregnant.” They fell like sour fruit from my lips, twisting my mouth into a worried frown and sending a cold, fluttery feeling through my stomach.

There was another twisting feeling down in my gut, making me wince and press a hoof to the spot, rubbing away the cramp. I’d heard about this, I now realized. Occasional muscle cramps down in the abdomen as a mare’s body began preparing for what was to come.

“But…” I bit my lip, ‘I was at the end of my cycle! I should’ve been well past fertility!’ I put my hoof down, giving a huff as I glared over at the tester, ‘No! The tester could be wrong,’ I told myself. I stood and went about pacing as I let my agitated wings wring themselves to either side of me, ‘it has to be wrong! It must be!’

I paused a moment to give the thing a weary glance, my guts cold and churning like a slushie machine in a Cloud Nine convenience store.

‘The tester could be wrong,’ I continued to think, ‘they’re not perfect, it must be defective!’ I forced a smile that became a grimace as a muscle twitched with a touch of pain inside me, I was just hungry, I told myself.

‘Yeah! Just a faulty tester, no biggie!’ I took a few calming breaths, they didn’t help, ‘No...no big...’ I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, the contents rebelling up my throat. I halted and brought a forehoof to my mouth, gagging and choking the anxious bile back down.

An unknown amount of time passed before my stomach settled, fortunately not on the floor. Sitting back down, I took in a few more calming breaths before looking down at the tester.

‘Maybe it’s wrong, maybe it’s right…hopefully it’s wrong,’ I chewed at my lip again, ‘I could try another one...but a blood test will confirm it for sure. First things first!’

Standing, I trotted to the tester and stuffed it to the deepest, darkest reaches of my vanity. Down were it wasn’t likely to be found.

“Next shift, I’ll get the bloodwork done,” I said to myself, “I’ll confirm it and if I’m pregnant…” the words lodged in my throat as there was another light cramp in my belly, my hoof pressing to it. I stared down for a moment, there would be no visible effects for a long while and yet...somehow there was a change. I steeled myself with a breath, “If I’m pregnant, I’ll...I’ll…”

What was so hard about this!? I knew what the consequences were! I’d promised Cloud Poker! If I didn’t give this one up it was a felony charge and possible sterilization!

“I’ll get an abortion,” the words dropped dead from my lips.

I left early the next day, not wanting to speak with Cloud Poker until I knew for sure the results of that fateful midnight foray into my mare’s gate.

Check in, dress up, relieve a thankful Lilac, get started on my day with a churning gut. Running on autopilot let me think as I marched a set of dirty sheets down to be washed. One of the wheels squeaked steadily in my ear.

‘They’ll take the sample and look for an excess of gonadotropins,’ I ran through the process, ‘from there they would let me know the results and, if positive, report it to the government,’ I stopped at an elevator, waiting for it to arrive on my floor before pushing the cart in and hitting the laundry room’s level. Soothing elevator music ground in my ears.

Ding! I resumed my steady pace to the laundry room.

‘I’ll have three weeks to produce a birth card or appeal for an extension of that time, but after that...’ I bit my lip as I mentally trailed off. Harboring an unauthorized, unborn foal was a guarenteed felony charge; the Enclave was serious about population management. You always came across a few articles after every breeding season of one or two mares who didn’t abort, their miserable-looking mugshots on the front page.

Everything went to hell for them after that, it was a societal taboo to get caught harboring an unborn foal. Relationships were shattered, jobs were lost, those with scholarships saw them revoked, many couldn’t handle the hardship.

Many found themselves again featured in the news...in the obituaries.

Then there was always the second possibility: sterilization. It depended on the judge and the circumstances of the case, but was always a distinct possibility.

Neither of those sounded at all ideal...and yet that only left me one option: to abort the child.

My gut gave a twinge, startling me from my reverie. The door to the laundry room was just ahead, the only sound the muffled rumbling of the washing machines and driers nearby. Letting loose a sigh, I pushed the cart through the door and got to dumping the sheets in their respective washers.

Then a third thought crossed my mind, one that made my gut churn with something other than the possible pregnancy.

‘What if the hospital didn’t know it was my blood they were testing?’

The washing machines rumbled ever on.

It went against so many rules, but if I was committed to not taking the abortion route it hardly mattered considering the consequences I was already facing. Besides, I was still certain the tester was faulty, that all this was my body acting up.

Bloodwork was a relatively simple process. Something they even let us nurses do on a regular basis. My chance came soon enough when one of the patients with my blood type needed a blood test for bloodborne pathogens. It was simple enough getting the job.

“Hey, Skies, what’s up?” the aptly named Dr. Bloodwork, head of our hematology department, smiled over his glasses, “Nothing for me to collect,” he observed, “need a needle?”

I nodded, “Doing a draw on a patient,” I replied, passing the work order across the counter, “Just need a needle and stuff.”

“Gotcha,” he replied, glancing over the paper and turning to grab the supplies. I watched him as he moved to a shelf, pausing to glance at the paper again. He frowned suddenly, turning to me, “Skies?”

“Y-yes?” I asked, taken off guard. My heart rate rose slightly, worry cutting into my gut.

“This is for Mrs. Shade,” he said, “didn’t Tincture drop off the supplies for her already?”

‘Yes,’ I mentally replied, preparing myself for the lie, “No, I didn’t notice them anywhere,” pointing to the paper, I added, “I thought I was supposed to grab them.”

Bloodwork glanced down at the paperwork, frowning. I tried to keep still, maintaining the facade of honesty. I’d never been a great liar, I was sure that at any second Bloodwork would look up and…

“Darnit, I’ll have to ask Tincture where those went,” Bloodwork grumbled, turning back to his supplies and letting me breathe easier. He returned quickly with a sealed butterfly needle and vacutainer set, “unlike her to misplace something like this,” he commented as I took them, storing them in my scrubs.

I merely shrugged, taking back the paperwork and turning to go.

Now for the old switcheroo. Once I’d made it a decent distance away, I ducked into a single stall bathroom, locking the door and producing the blood drawing kit. From another pocket I produced a rubber tourniquet, wrapping it around my upper foreleg.

I flexed my hoof, tensing the muscles to get the vein to stick out. Even after doing this a million and one times, I still hated needles. But my aim was true and my mouth steady as the needle went in, the vacutainer filling with a dark red color as it filled up.

Once finished, I pulled it out and put a small bandage over the needle hole, hoping no one would ask about it. I resealed the butterfly needle and tossed it into the trash, pocketing the vacutainer.

It was all downhill from there.

Sticking by the door as the doctor stepped in for the debrief on Mrs. Shade’s results, I imagined I felt just as nervous as the mare was. A cramp went through my gut, I wasn’t sure if it was fear or something else...

“Well, Mrs. Shade,” my ears perked up, straining to hear past the thick door, “your results came back negative on any BBPs. However, we found a bit of a surprise so I do believe congratulations are in order,” I heard the doctor say through the door.

My stomach dropped through the floor, breath catching in the back of my throat.

“What? Why?” a mare’s voice asked back.

‘Seven winds, please don’t say it!’ I mentally cried out, heart already falling.

“We found increased levels of gonadotropins in your system; in other words: you’re pregnant!” the doctor said.

I stumbled back from the door, struck hard across the face by the words.

“In other words: you’re pregnant!” the words echoed in my ears.

I was deaf to anything else that might have been said, my legs carrying my numb body down the hall. My tummy twinged forlornly, as if giving condolences to the light of the situation.

“You’re pregnant!” somewhere deep down I knew the tester had been right, that this had been a futile exercise. Yet the sting of it was still hard to take in.

‘No,’ I thought, the world nothing more than a blurry mess of harsh whites and clean smells, ‘No! I can’t be! I can’t! I can’t! I—’

“Skies!” suddenly Cloud Poker was in front of me, worried as he shook me, “Hey, you okay? Look a little spaced out there.”

I flinched at seeing him, being one of the last ponies I wanted to see after hearing what I’d just heard. How would he take it? What would he say? What would he do?

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure!” I said, hiding behind a smile, “Just, like, zoned out there a bit.”

“Hey, I meant to catch you at your place this morning, but your folks said you’d already gone. Wanted to see if you want me to stop by today for the test?” he asked, “Or you come by my place for it?”

‘Do I tell him?’ I wondered, but he had a right to. It was his seed that had blossomed in my belly, “I already took it...” I said, my next words dying in my throat.

“Oh,” he said, looking suddenly weary, “And…”

My voice stayed dead for a moment as I chose my next words carefully, considering the situation. He had a right to know, he was the father. Yet if I told him he would make me abort, I played devil’s advocate with myself.

‘You promised to abort!’ a part of my mind raged, ‘you don’t have a choice in the matter!’

Neither of us had a birth card. My parents didn’t have one. His parents didn’t have one. And they didn’t grow on trees. We would have to get married or he would have to join the military. We’d both entertained the thought of an engagement contract...and we’d both agreed that if at all it would take place after medical school. Neither of us was earning nearly enough to support a child, not as nurses and not with the cost of medical school.

And yet if the only other option was an abortion...a slight cramp bit into my gut.

“Negative,” I lied, the words almost unbidden to my lips.

Poker eyed me carefully for a moment, looking doubtful. I’d never been a very good liar, if he wanted me to take a blood test…yet after a moment he seemed to swallow it, visibly relaxing.

“Well I’m glad you were right about...well,” he glanced about before changing the awkward subject, “anyways, I was thinking about going out to a restaurant or something tonight? Wanna come?”

“Oh, um, maybe?” I gave him a smile, “I’m, uh…” I trailed off.

“Well...if you’ve got something else—” he began.

“Yeah, sorry, Pokerface,” I took the opening, “Rain check?”

“Sure, Skies,” he said with a nod, before heading back out, “I’ll see you later.”

The second he was out of sight I collapsed against the wall, my smile crashing into a look of worry as I pressed a hoof to my belly.

I made sure to avoid Cloud Poker the rest of the day, heading out early with a lie about a headache. My mind flittered about me on my leisurely trek, body running on autopilot and leaving me to my thoughts.

There was no doubt in my mind that they’d find out someone had tampered with Mrs. Shade’s blood samples, all it would take would be a new draw and a real examination. I’d probably have three days tops before they started doing draws of staff members with her blood type and once they got to me…

Halting suddenly, I looked up at the building I’d come to, reading the large sign out front.

ABORTION CORPORATION CLINIC #3999

I stared for a moment, biting my lip. There was a chance I could get the gonadotropins out of my system. They’d never know it was me who swapped the blood around. They might suspect it, but there’d be no proof if I was clean.

My eyes dropped to the doors, reading the ‘OPEN’ sign. A few posters stuck to the door reading Abortion Corporation slogans like: “Safe Sex is Same Sex” and “Keep it Same, Keep it Simple” with a pair of same sex couples nuzzling.

‘You promised—’ a twinge ran through my gut, drawing my hoof down to massage the sore spot.

‘I did promise,’ I admitted, sighing as I reached forth... ‘and I’m sorry...’ and continued down the sidewalk at a trot, ‘I’m sorry, Cloud Poker, but this is one promise I can’t keep.’

I continued on a ways, the sun lowering over the white expanse of cloudscape that made up the horizon until finally I reached my destination. Retrieving the napkin I’d gotten, I eyed the address and zeroed in on the hotel, finding the specific room with relative ease.

Yet I hesitated before it, hoof raised to knock. What if he was a changed pony? What if he turned me in? I started to reconsider when the blinds shifted suddenly and the door swung open.

“Healthy Skies! Hey!” Red Mist greeted me with a large smile, “What’s up? How you doing?”

“I’m good…” I lied with a weak smile. Mist’s own smile faltered at the sight, a twinge of worry coming across his face as I stood there.

“Um…” he began after an awkward moment of silence, “You wanna come in?” he gestured with a hoof, “It’s not much, but it beats the barracks, heh,” he gave a laugh, “place is practically falling apart.”

“Yes, thanks,” I gave him another smile, the fluttery feeling in my gut growing as I stepped into the room. He shut the door behind me.

“Make yourself at home,” he said pleasantly, trotting to the mini fridge, “want something to drink?” he pulled it open, “I’ve got...well, water,” he looked up apologetically.

“I’m good,” I said, glancing about. The room was spic and span, Mist’s belongings placed with excess care and precision. My hoof went back to my gut as a cramp trembled through it.

“Skies?” Mist asked, closing the fridge, “Are you okay?” he approached with caution, “You can talk to me if you want,” he suggested with a kindly smile.

‘Here goes nothing,’ I let out a sigh, turning to him, “Mist, I need to tell you something, but I need you to keep it a secret,” I bore my red eyes into him, “can you do that for me? Please?”

“Yes, of course. Anything for you, Skies,” he said. He gave me another comforting smile, as if to reassure me, “what’s wrong? How can I help?” He gestured with a wing to a couch, taking a seat next to me on it.

I bit down on my lip, closing my eyes as I took in a breath. It was now or never, I psyched myself up and spoke: “I’m pregnant.”

Instantly, Mist froze up, worry splashing across his face, “I...um...you-you...I mean, you-you think that I...I’m the…” he stuttered as he looked down at me.

“What!? No, Mist! Poker’s the father,” I said, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow, ‘how the hell did he jump to that conclusion?’ I wondered.

“Oh, phew!” he let out a large sigh, chuckling, “heh, f-for a second there I thought you might be implying, heh, well, nevermind that!” he grinned suddenly, “congratulations!”

Despite his cheer, I remained sick to my stomach, drawing my eyes away as I bit my lip. Silence filled the room like a noxious gas, falling sunlight spilling in through the window onto the floor before us.

Slowly, bit by bit, Mist’s cheer drained away as he saw my unease, “You...you don’t have a birth card,” he said as it clicked in his mind.

My silence told him everything.

“Well...um…” he began, scratching at the back of his head as if trying to find a proper response in his pink mane.

“I told Poker I’d get a...get an...get it taken care of,” I said, afraid of that one word, “but I never thought...I didn’t imagine it would...it would feel like this!” I continued, feeling my eyes water up. A slight twinge passed through my belly, “I know it’s against the law...but I...I just can’t!”

Mist said nothing, taking it all in as he rested a wing across my back.

“I mean, I told him I would! I thought it was nothing, no big deal,” I looked up at him, “But this feeling...inside me.” One of my hooves found my stomach.

“I, um, hope this doesn’t come out wrong, but...are you sure you’re pregnant? Those testers—” Mist tried to sound reassuring.

“I had bloodwork done today,” I looked back away.

“Oh,” Mist said, “well, I mean, if they’ve done the test and put in the paperwork—”

“They...” I cut in, “they don’t know it was me...I-I switched around some vials, they don’t know it was me,” I said, staring at the ground, “Not even Cloud Poker knows...not my parents...no one,” I paused for a second, amending, “no one but you.”

“That...um...wow, I…” Mist trailed off, looking away this time.

“Mist,” I said, looking up at him. He returned my gaze, uncertainty in his big green eyes, “I can’t give it up...I won’t give it up.”

“Skies, I don’t see how I…” he trailed off as if he suddenly gauged what I’d come for, “...you need a birth card.”

“I know it sounds horrible of me to ask, Mist, but...I won’t think any less of you if you say no,” I looked up at him pleadingly. It drove a spike through my heart to try to use him like this, but it was one of my few dwindling options, I had to try everything.

“Skies I...I can’t,” I looked away, feeling the tears start to consume my eyes. Mist let out a sigh and continued, “not because I want it for myself, I don’t have one,” that got my attention, bringing my gaze back to his.

“How—” I began.

“You know I’m gay,” Red Mist said the obvious, “I mean, you met Cheddar and all that, and you knew back in high school,” he zoned out for a moment, “I’ve always entertained the idea of having a foal one day...but I waived my right to the EBC bill—Enlisted Birth Certification—it got me other benefits, I never thought…” he focused back on me, “I’m sorry, Skies.”

I nodded my understanding, turning away as I felt that avenue drop out from under me. That left only one option...

“So...what do you plan on doing, then?” Mist finally asked the dreaded question.

“I don’t know,” I whimpered, feeling the first few tears falling, “I might just-just run away!” I looked up at him, “I-I could have the foal...they wouldn’t kill it once I’ve had it.”

“Well...no, I don’t think they would,” Mist spoke as if navigating a minefield at night, “but they could still hit you with a felony charge when you returned, possibly sterilize you, maybe take…” he trailed off, suddenly fretful that one of his hooves was tapping at a tripwire.

“The foal,” I finished for him. A cramp nipped at my belly again, I pressed a hoof down onto it, “but they wouldn’t hurt my foal…”

“Skies. There’s got to be another way,” Mist started up again now that the threat had been defused, “they’ll give you a birth card if you get married to Cloud Poker, right? You told me you liked him, right? Isn’t that an option?”

“You don’t think I’ve considered that?” I asked, wiping my eyes with a hoof.

“Uh…” he replied, not knowing how to proceed.

I let out a sigh, “I’ve considered it, but he won’t. Not now, anyways,” I turned to look up at Mist, “I’m living with my parents, I haven’t got the money to support a foal and neither does he. Not now,” I explained, turning away with my burning tears, “I promised him, Mist...but I can’t, I just...can’t!” I sat up, pressing a hoof to my stomach, “I feel it inside me, I can feel the life of what’s growing and it’s just so...so…” I was lost for words, hanging my head and letting my tears run down my muzzle.

We sat there for a time, side by side on the lonely couch, one of his large wings like a blanket over my back. Nothing was said, nothing could be said, nothing needed to be said.

Nothing but, “Thank you.” The sun had shifted, as the shadows on the floor told me, “For listening, for all this, I just...I…” I ran out of words to say.

“You’re one of the few friends I’ve got, Skies,” Mist replied, taking time to taste the next words that would come out of his mouth, “Do...you have any sorta plan for what you’re going to do? Something a little more than ‘run away’?”

I weighed my reply for a time, eyes drier than before. I didn’t meet his gaze as I spoke, “I’ve got to run away.”

“But where will you go?” he asked.

“Somewhere. Away. I don’t know,” I mumbled as I pressed a hoof to my belly, “I’ll just...go...anywhere but here.”

“They’ll come looking for you, Skies. If they find you before...” he sighed, “how will you survive? You’d need to be out in the wilderness, what are you going to eat? You can’t survive on clouds and someone’s going to notice if they spot you…” his eyes glanced down to my belly, “later on.”

I was silent.

“Look, Skies, maybe your best option...your only option is to stick with your promise to Cloud Poker. I know...or maybe I don’t...but I think I know how you feel...I think I can imagine how you feel,” he kept correcting himself, “but how much worse might you feel if they catch you and they force you? It’s a felony charge. They might...might, well, you know,” he lifted a hoof, but hesitated for a moment before gently lifting my head to meet my eyes, “how much worse would you feel if all that happened?”

I stared at him for a time, taking in what he was saying, considering it. But my stomach gave a twinge and it was decided for me.

“I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself,” I said, turning away again, “Maybe I could get therapy...but I lied to Cloud Poker...right to his face. I switched those vials at the hospital, they’re sure to investigate that. I’ve committed to this, Mist. There’s no going back.”

“Skies,” Mist tried again, “There’s nowhere—” he paused, something shutting him up on the spot. I turned my eyes to him again, only for his to dart away, “no-nowhere you can—”

“Mist.”

He was silent.

I studied him for a moment before speaking again, “Mist, if you know a place where I can go?”

“Skies, I—”

“Where!?” I hopped to my hooves, turning on him. Did he know some place I didn’t? Some military secret that I didn’t? “Cloudsdale? Is it not as radiated as they say!?”

“Skies, I can’t...just—”

“Mist, this is my foal we’re talking about!” I pushed, trying to chase down this new avenue before it too collapsed away, “If you know something, somewhere I can be safe—”

“Fucking hell!” Mist snapped, making me hop back, startled at the outburst. He hopped off the couch, looking agitated and angry as he stormed to a window across the room. His wings tensed and untensed against his sides, the muscles of his jaw standing out in tight relief as he glared out towards the dropping sun, the shades playing shadowed stripes against his crimson coat.

I watched him for a few minutes, waiting for whatever internal struggle he was fighting to surface.

“Mist?” I asked.

He sighed, dropping his head to let it rest against the wall with a dull thump, “Damn it all, Skies.”

“Mist, what is it?” I pressed on, hopping off the couch as a twinge went through my gut. I approached him with caution.

“I signed a three-twelve form, Skies,” Mist replied, not moving from the wall, “Damn it all, why!?”

“A three-twelve?” I asked. Why did that sound so familiar?

“Non-disclosure agreement form,” he gave a low growl, thumping his head against the wall again, “Skies, I want to help you, but I put my signature on that form. I made a binding contract not to disclose this information to anyone, anyone. I can’t just break it like that! If somepony found out I’d spilled the beans…” he trailed off.

“Mist,” I spoke from the couch. He didn’t move, “Mist,” I said again, hopping off. He let out a soft huff as I approached, looking back over his withers at me. Conflict swam across his face, a turmoil to put every war ever fought to shame, “If...if there’s a place where I can have my foal, where I can survive, where they can’t find me…” I ran those through my head, drawing a blank on anywhere I knew of, “please,” I finished, feeling a fresh wave of tears escape me.

Mist sighed, turning and sitting back down. He offered me a large, comforting wing, hugging me gently against him. For a minute I felt nothing but his steady breathing and powerful heartbeat, the warmth of his coat comforting. His sides expanded as he took in a breath and let it out.

He hung his head, eyes clenched shut, “Skies. No one can know that I told you this. You can’t tell anyone, not anyone. And if...if you ever were to say anything...” he trailed off.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” I said, pressing a hoof to my belly, “I swear on my life, on the life of my...my foal, I won’t tell anyone. If you know a place I’d be able to carry this foal to term...”

It grew quiet for a time. I began to wonder if he had changed his mind at the very last second, but then he spoke two simple words just loud enough for me to hear:

“The wasteland...”

‘The wasteland?’ I wondered, “But, the radiation—”

“Is not as bad as the government lets on,” he said, voice barely above a whisper, “You can tell no one.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“There is radiation still down there, don’t get me wrong. Small pockets here and there, but for the most part the land below is survivable, there’s plenty of ponies living down there right now,” Red Mist continued in a somber voice, “it won’t be easy, but it’s probably a better chance than anywhere up here.”

I hugged him tighter, the sour tears turning to those of hope, “Thank you, Mist.”

He gave me a gentle pat with his wing, “You’re going to need supplies. Food, water, medical stuff,” he hesitated, “maybe something for defense. There’s ponies down there, but...” he trailed off, “it’s not as nice as it is up here.”

A sudden question struck me, something that could throw this new plan out of whack, “How am I supposed to get down there? The cloud cover’s so thick and they’re running all those sensors through it—”

“Don’t worry about that part…” Mist hesitated, considering a decision of his own, “I...I can smuggle you down, get you settled, I’m actually on leave for the rest of the week...but after that I’ll need to return…” he disengaged from the embrace, looking me in the eye, “Skies, you’re absolutely certain? Not even the slightest hint of doubt?”

I met his gaze head on, wiping away the rest of my tears, “I’m certain.”

Mist nodded, “I’ll get what I need. You’re still at your parent’s place?” I nodded, “I’ll meet you there around twenty three hundred,” at the confused expression on my face, he clarified in civilian time: “eleven PM. Collect what you need, be ready.”

I felt horrible going to the hospital I worked at for supplies, but it wasn’t as if the bandages and sterile gauze we had stocked at home would do if I was going to spend eleven months down in the wasteland. I needed something more, proper dressings, medicines, the works.

It was easy enough once I got in my uniform and headed to one of our supply rooms. So long as I looked like I belonged no one would suspect a thing.

Once I’d ensured the coast was clear I ducked into the room. I kept the lights off, hoping not to attract any attention as I scanned over the shelves. A sick feeling wormed into my gut, eating me from the inside out as I started tossing supplies into an old lunch bag I’d grabbed from home. My saddlebags would’ve been too conspicuous and my scrubs didn’t have nearly enough pockets.

Sterile dressings and bandages? Check. Antibiotic creams and pills? Check. I sorted through a series of different mild pain and fever medications, picking and choosing. They rattled rather obviously in my lunch bag, making me wince and glance towards the door, but nopony was coming.

I hesitated before the epinephrine pens. I didn’t have any allergies and didn’t think I’d be dealing with any chemical warfare, but a few might be useful. I squinted at their expiration dates in the dark, trying to look for the newest—the door opened and the lights flicked on. I jumped as Lilac yawned, turning to spot her frozen as she spotted me.

‘No!’ I mentally exclaimed, caught red-winged, ‘No! No! No! No!’

“Skies!?” Lilac exclaimed, looking bewildered. She blinked rapidly, rubbing her eyes with a wing as if unable to believe what she’d caught me doing, “What...what the actual fuck? What are you—” her eyes darted to the supplies I was stuffing into the lunch bag, “A-are you, are you a-actually…”

A worrisome cramp ran through my stomach and I pressed a hoof to my gut, wincing as tears of failure stung my eyes. I’d been caught. It was over. Lilac would report me. They’d investigate. They’d find out about the pregnancy. They’d force me to abort it. All I’d done now was give them more reasons to incarcerate me!

“Skies?” she eyed my hoof, my tears, my face, the supplies. Something seemed to strike her as she reeled back, “it was you…”

‘What?’ confused, I looked up, blinking back tears. There was nothing I could say, wings drooping to the ground. Lilac’s eyes were wide, her mouth unhinged as she stared at me. Her eyes darted to my stomach, then met mine, “By the wind! It was you, wasn’t it?”

“What?” I barely managed to spit out, ‘I was so close...’

“You switched the blood around with that mare,” Lilac said, stunned. She paused for a moment, “you’re the one...you-you’re pregnant.”

I hung my head, letting my tears strike the ground with impunity, “Yeah,” I admitted, waiting for her to run and get security. She hesitated a moment, glancing about before rushing back to the door...and shutting it quietly. What was she doing? Was she...

She approached me tentatively, peeking into the lunch bag, “You’re going to try to run,” she observed.

“Yeah,” I said again, glancing at the door, “you’re not going to get security?”

She shook her head, “I know what it’s like, Skies,” she said, pressing a hoof to her own gut, a forlorn expression on her face, “I wish I didn’t...but if you’re going to go this route...” she glanced back to the door, “Skies, I don’t know what you’re going to do, where you’re going to go, I don’t want to know. But I know how it feels, both to have and to have lost a foal,” she gulped, “Skies, never give it up.”

‘She’s actually helping me...’ but of course she was, we were friends, “I won’t, Lilac. Never.”

Lilac nodded, glancing at the epi-pen I’d grabbed. She looked back up at me and threw a few more into the lunch bag, “I’m supposed to do inventory,” she brought up a clipboard with her wing, smiling innocently, “best make sure none of it gets reported missing just yet…”

It was late by the time I finally got back home. Everypony was sound asleep as I made my way up to my room. I closed my door soundlessly behind me, stuffing my lunch bag in my saddlebags as I trotted to my vanity.

First things first.

Opening the drawer I’d hidden the pregnancy tester in, I dug down and grabbed...where was it!? Muttering curses, I kept on digging about as I fished for the troublesome piece of evidence. I knew I put it in this drawer, none of the other ones were big enough—

“Skies.”

I froze...I knew that voice...

Silence fell across my room. My heart raced, my body glued in place at the knowledge of what him being here meant. What my missing tester meant…

Pokerface had found out.

My bed gave a soft noise as Cloud Poker shifted about on it. The noise made me snap towards him, a deep, sick feeling roiling about in my guts. He sat stock still atop my bedsheets, looking down at something in front of him.

He picked up my pregnancy tester in a hoof, showing it to me. His face was pained as he showed me the smiley face. He said nothing, sitting stock still with the tester held up.

Neither of us said anything, neither of us moved, we hardly even breathed as we stared at each other, as if frozen into a picture.

“Skies,” he finally said again, breaking the spell with his quaking voice. The tester dropped with a puff against my bed.

Turning to him, I searched for words that couldn’t possibly exist. Lilac had been forgiving...would Poker? But Lilac hadn’t been the one I’d lied to, she wasn’t the sire of my child.

“Please…please tell me you lied to me and then went to the clinic to get it taken care of,” he said, his morose tone telling me he already knew the answer.

I gulped, taking a careful step forwards, “I can’t give it up—”

Poker hopped to his hooves, cutting me off with an angry whisper, “You promised me, Skies! You made me a promise and then you...you lied to my face! I...you...Skies, you-you promised—”

“That was before!” I snapped, throwing a quick glance to my bedroom door as I dropped my voice down a few decibels, “I know I promised, and I’m sorry I lied to you!” Pokerface stared back, conflicting emotions playing across his face, “But I never thought it would feel this way! This feeling of life within me! I don’t want to let it go! I can’t let it go!” I sobbed, still keeping my voice down so as not to wake anyone in the house.

Cloud Poker sighed, “Skies, you know this can’t work out!” all the same, he kept his voice on my level, “We don’t have a birth card!”

“That’s why I’m leaving,” I retorted, “I don’t need a birth card in the…” I remembered my promise to Mist, correcting myself before I spilled the beans, “...to where I’m going.”

Poker had no reply to that, surprise splashing across his face.

“Come with me!” I tried, approaching him, “it’ll be easier with two of us, we can have the child and come back, they won’t kill it once it’s out of the womb!”

Yet it wasn’t to be so, “Skies, do you have any idea how insane that sounds!?”

“I don’t have any other options!” I snapped back.

“Of course you do!” he tried to reason back to me, pausing and licking his lips before hopping off my bed, “Look, I...maybe we can work something out!” Poker tried to reason as he approached, stopping before me, “Skies, there has to be another way! You don’t have to run away,” he took one of my hooves in his own, “we...we can get you a birth card, somehow, we’ll… we’ll try! Try something, try anything! There’s got to be a way—”

I pulled away from him, turning away, “How!?” I snapped back over my withers, “There is no way! I’ve already considered all my options, there is no other way!”

“Skies, I…” he trailed off, staring into my eyes as if searching for something that would make me stay.

There was a sudden scrabbling at my opened window and Red Mist stuck his head in, helmet removed, “Skies, I’m here. Are you ready to—” he froze the instant he spotted both my and Poker’s eyes on him.

“Who the fuck...” Poker wondered aloud, but then his eyes shot open and he wheeled on me, “What the fuck!?” anger seemed to compete with the storm of emotion raging across his face as he took a few paces back, looking from Red Mist to me. After a moment’s hesitation, Red Mist pulled himself through the window, looking stricken. He glanced from Poker to me, no doubt making the connection.

“Pokerface—” but he cut me off.

“What…who the hell is he!?” Poker snapped, voice raising as he jabbed an accusing hoof towards Mist, “That’s Red Mist, isn’t it?”

“Pokerface—” I began again, taking a step towards him.

“Isn’t it!” he snapped, turning back to me.

“Hey, easy, pal,” Red Mist put in, keeping his voice down.

“No, you...” he glared from me to Mist to me again, “Does he know!? Did you tell him!?”

“Pokerface, keep it down!” I hissed, throwing a glance to my door, “if anyone hears us—”

“Did. You. Tell. Him!?” Pokerface hardly seemed to hear me, his eyes glaring with tears of rage and pain, “Did you!?”

“Hey, keep it down, buddy!” Mist snapped, looking uncertain as he glanced to the door.

“Hey, you shut the fuck up!” Poker snapped back. This was getting out of hoof! He was sure to wake my parents, and if they came in and discovered us...my stomach gave a small cramp. I reached into my saddlebag with my maw, coming back out as Poker turned his glare back to me, “answer me, Skies! Did you—” he froze as he spotted what was in my mouth, anger fading, “Skies?”

“I’m sorry, Pokerface,” I mumbled through my taser, tonguing the trigger.

Twin electrodes zipped out, catching Cloud Poker in the breast. His eyes shot wide as a rapid fire clicking stuttered through the air, every muscle in his body tensing up as the electricity coursed through him. I let up on the trigger after a few seconds and Cloud Poker hit the floor with a puff, the scents of singed fur and urine coming off him.

“Shit!” Mist exclaimed, rushing forwards. I let the taser hit the floor, letting Mist pull the electrodes from Poker’s hide. Mist threw on his helmet, staring down at Poker for a few short seconds, “he’s still alive,” he stated.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered again. I’d just shot my best friend, my buckfriend, the father of my child! I swayed for a moment before catching myself and shaking my head to clear it.

“We need to move. Now!” Mist said, pulling Cloud Poker from the ammonia-smelling stain he’d left and tossing him on my bed. Poker moaned as Mist tore my bedsheet out from under him, tearing it into strips and tying Poker down to the bed, stuffing the excess in his mouth as a gag. By the time he’d come back, there was nothing Poker could do but struggle and give out muffled cries.

Mist stepped over to my taser, quickly reeling in the retractable electrodes and stuffing it in my saddlebags.

“Is this everything?” he whispered, holding up my bags.

I stared at Cloud Poker, gut clenching with worry.

“Skies!” Mist snapped in my ear, an edge in his voice, “is this everything!?”

Bending down, I picked up the used pregnancy tester. I stared down into the mocking smiley face for a moment before stuffing it in my saddlebags.

“It’s everything,” I whispered.

“Good, now let’s get out of here!” he growled, trotting to the window, “He saw me! He fucking saw me!” he hissed, so quiet I almost missed it.

Following, I froze up for a moment and trotted up to my bedside, getting a pained glare from Poker as he lay spread eagled across my bedsheets. His face was contorted, anger and sorrow playing across them, as easy to read as a book.

“I’m sorry,” I said one last time, giving him a quick peck on the nose. He recoiled back, glaring back at me with eyes that screamed ‘Why!?’ right into the depths of my soul.

I offered no reply as I turned to the window and flew out.

Mist was quiet as he flew ahead of me, wearing his full set of enclave armor. It bore no weapons of its own besides a gleaming blade at the end of its segmented tail.

We flew for some time before Mist alighted on a soft patch of cloud, reaching down towards it. I hardly paid attention as conflicting thoughts bounced about through my skull, I’d shot my lover. Even if it was only with a taser, it struck me as obscene, wrong on the most disgusting of levels. My gut gave a slight twinge, as if consoling me, I hardly noticed.

“Skies!” Mist snapped, shaking me by the shoulders. I focused on him, noting a dark spot among the clouds, just big enough for us to fit through. Everything below was pitch black, “it’s not going to last for very long, let’s go.”

Taking a steadying breath, I nodded, following his lead.

I gave only a single glance back across the cloudscape before dropping into the darkness below. Above me, the cloud cover shut tight.

Footnote: Level progress 25%

Author's Notes:

Red Mist’s S.P.E.C.I.A.L:

Strength= 4(6)
Perception= 7
Endurance= 4(6)
Charisma= 6
Intelligence= 7
Agility= 6(7)
Luck= 6

PERK: Intensive Enclave Military Training: +2 Strength, +2 Endurance, +1 Agility, ability to use Enclave Power Armor