Honestly, I feel worse for my friend Kevin than I do myself. I mean, I'm not in pain right now. At the time I didn't know where 'now' was, but even as I was, I felt sympathy for my friend. I mean, I'm not burning in some fiery hell, thank god for that. I'm also not in eternal nothingness because occasionally I see a speck of light, as if it was shined through a incredibly thick curtain. No, instead I feel bad for my friend who now has to live with the fact that not only did he kill someone, he killed his own friend in front of a bunch of children. Maybe trying to film an amateur home video at the local park was a bad idea. Or worse, not informing my friend that BB guns at point blank can kill a person if strong enough. For that matter, poor kids! Seriously, that is not something you need to see growing up... So yes, I hold no ill will towards the guy, I mean. It's not that bad, really.

Really, I'm fine.

I didn't know where I was back then, but now I'm aware that I happen to have spent approximately 38 weeks in a womb. An experience that I personally found creepy as all hell. This probably wouldn't be too bad for someone who didn't watch scary flicks or play horror games growing up. Or maybe it would, I wouldn't know. Interesting thing is, a lot of creepy noises made in that stuff is based off the sounds the insides of a body makes. Probably the most famous one being a heartbeat, and I heard a heartbeat alright.

I heard a heartbeat for 9 and a half damn months.

I heard a lot more than that. Why did the womb have to pressed up against the intestines? Seriously, I don't need to hear indigestion in high detail! Every strange noise the insides of a body makes will be burned into my brain for eternity! Luckily, I was only sapient for about... 6 weeks? Maybe 8, Its hard to have a proper sense of time when everything is just darkness and strange noises. Speaking of being sapient though...

Sapience, an old french word that means "good taste, good sense, intelligence, or wisdom." More commonly used nowadays to describe something similar to consciousness. Something awake, and more importantly, aware. Also known as having human nature. "I think, therefore I am." All that jazz. I can assure you, I was not sapient at first. I existed, but that's it. I can recall back to existing, but I can not say I was sapient.

I feel as if... I was a computer. I was programmed to do many tasks, but that's it. I could not think or feel. I did have desires or concerns. All of my body was dedicated towards going from a sperm in an egg to a fully formed baby. I could not think, therefore I am not, and yet... I was. But only that. I was not happy, nor sad. I was not scared or relaxed. I was, I simply was. Nothing more, nothing less.

So with that being said once I was more than machine I freaked the heck out. I'm not sure if god exists, but if he does I marvel at his ingenuity. My eldest brother is an incredibly intelligent man. He was the smart one, the middle brother was the charismatic one, and I was...

...

Um.

So my eldest brother was an incredibly intelligent man, an outstanding sense of memory, a curious mind, great at learning things by taking them apart... When he was 9 months old he was already speaking full sentences. Many of my mother's friends would freak out when they would gush over how cute the tiny baby she held was, and it would respond "Thank you." and he could remember that. Remembering things at being 9 months old, amazing!

We were not made to remember things in the womb. If we were though, the process of obtaining cognition is done very smoothly, I've gained a great respect for the growth of a baby. How gradual I gained thoughts, staring at the warm, dark wall of flesh before me. I didn't question where I was or how I got here, I've been here for 9 months prior and I was content. It was only when I got bored, which was in the first couple minutes, that I started realize who I was again.

That's why babies kick by the way, they're bored. Talking to them is a good way to make them stop. Or, you know, excite them further, it's a bit of a gamble.

I started to question who I was, how I got here, all of the existential crisis we face when you live in the modern day time period. A time of recreational activity and fun for all who live in 1st and 2nd world countries. Such a time when the commoner has room to stop, breathe, think deep thoughts; followed by wondering where the hell they came from.

Anyway, as I was saying... thinking? Narrating? Whatever. As I was explaining, I went through the existential crisis we all go through nowadays and came to the conclusion for my efforts that I was wrapped up tightly and shoved in a warm, wet little sack that aliens kept me in to monitor me. Needless to say I tried to break out.

That may have possibly been the worst day of my mother's life.

I imagine a normal baby, or maybe fetus would be more accurate, would be in awe to have the ability of simple thought at that stage. Not that they would have anything to think about really...

...

What would a fetus in the womb think about? Dream about? Dreams are our minds way of discarding junk information we don't want, so would they dream of either sounds they didn't like, or the absolute lack of anything to do? Maybe would dream about their mother's voice. It's something I heard frequently in here. Maybe, just maybe, they think and dream of things similar to what their mother dreams about. Newborns can feel the emotion their mother is feeling when drinking their milk. Perhaps more than that is passed on. I know I've had some unusual dreams about flying and preforming shows while I was in here...

The time had come.

Babies scream a lot at birth. It's understandable, getting birthed probably sucks as much as giving birth. Now I know for a fact that yes, being born was a painful, horrible process. First off, having your mother break water feels weird. When you have been nothing but wet, to suddenly have dry, empty space around you feels odd. Felt worse when the mother is rushing to a hospital and you bounced around a little in there.

My Mother's screams of pain and some of the rushed, tense voices of doctors is incredibly unsettling. Like I said before, I could feel my mother's emotion, and those emotions were panic, annoyance, and... hatred. That last one would concern me if I wasn't currently freaking out as much as her.

Being squeezed out of her uterus and through her cervix and vagina.

Even the dead don't know peace from this evil. I would know! I AM dead and I DON'T know peace from this evil! Gah!

Someone once told me, 'Well, imagine being squeezed through a hole the size of a quarter.' I would like to correct them! It's much more like 'Well, imagine being squeezed through a TUBE the size of a quarter!"

Ow.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow...

And THAT is why babies scream, ladies and gentlemen. It hurts, it startles you, it makes you emotionally unstable, it sucks. babies are made of cartilage practically for the first stage of their life, but it's cartilage on a sensitive body that does not like it when the baby bends a way he should not. Upon birth, you use your lungs for the first time, which is an organ which has not been used up to this point. Possibly worse for me because I know fetuses are suppose to subconsciously practice breathing movement and I'm not sure if I did or not. Getting touched hurt, I was sensitive all over from being squeezed through a tube. Noises made by anything sounded too loud due to how they've been adjusted to pick up muffled words from my mother and others. Having your eyes see bright light, especially BRIGHT ASS HOSPITAL LIGHTS THAT GLOW AS STRONG AS THE FREAKING SUN hurt a bit.

As I was shaking from the traumashock, they laid me down against my Mother's arm and chest.

She was a horse demon thing.

Hello horse demon thing.

It was understandably horrifying. I'm not sure if there's an experience in life that can relate to being birthed by something very inhuman. My mother winced as I started to scream bloody murder hide behind my hooves WHY DO I HAVE HOOVES?!? as she stared down at me. Collecting myself, I notice there was no love in her eyes, only regret. She babbled something to the doctors and off I went to be put into a nursery.

That was the last time I saw her. Next Chapter: It's the exact same yet completely different. Estimated time remaining: 33 Minutes