Imagine my surprise when Moondancer told me that she'd discovered a way to access your fanfictions. A scholar like her should have been thrilled, but she said that she quickly became disillusioned. Most of your stories aren't that great.

Like the dummy I am, I offered to look them over, do some reviewing, commenting, and generally offer tips on how to improve. They can't be that bad, right?

Oh how naive I was! Yes, yes they can.

I had no idea about the sheer immensity of this task, and as if that wasn't bad enough, each and every one of your stories finds a new and unique way of being awful. I've just about reached my breaking point, and Celestia help me if I get there. I doubt that even Death herself could stand to read your fanfiction!

This was born from a severe lack of sleep while I was trying to write a review. It was out of place as a part of that work, so I removed it, revised it, and greatly expanded it until could stand on its own. The original version was only 432 words.

By the way, I'm using the collective, plural form of the pronouns 'you' and 'your' here. I'm not addressing the reader directly, but rather the fandom in general.