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The Conversion Bureau: Sidelines

by Victor Frost

Chapter 20: Chapter 19

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Chapter 19

Michael awoke to a multitude of wonderful signals from his senses.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the light of the early morning, he felt his chest pressed up against Twilight's back, his arms wrapped around her bare flesh. He lied there, momentarily closing his eyes while taking in the scent of her hair.

He didn't bother feeling around the nightstand for his pocket watch to check the time like he did every morning. He didn't care.

A melody floated through his mind. It was a song before his time and even his father's time.

"I'll stop the world and melt with you..."

As Twilight sleepily turned towards him, away from the balcony and the sunlight that dared to wake them, Michael freed his arm from underneath her and used it to prop his head up. Brushing away her long hair from her cheeks with the back of his hand, he studied her face.

It was smooth, pure as the driven snow; as if neither time nor experience had perpetrated any of their usual maladies upon her. Of course, he knew this skin was only days old, but her face was more than just unblemished: it was serene. Seeing the outer display of her inner peace, Michael wondered if he looked as untroubled in his slumber.

Slowly, either from the sunlight or from no longer feeling his arms around her, Twilight's eyes began to open.  

She smiled, "Good morning.

"Good morning," he answered, smiling cheekily.

"So," she said, sitting up, leaning against the headboard, "What now?"

"Well, I don't know," Michael sat up and stretched, "I guess we could go get some breakfast."

"Michael," Twilight leaned against him and looked up at his face, "I mean... about us."

He put his arm around her, "Well, I guess that depends..."

She began to look concerned, "On what?"

"Well," he said quietly, "Do you want to stay a human?"

Michael's question struck Twilight with a fair amount of force. The moment she first woke up and realized she was no longer a pony, she knew she would be changing back as soon as possible. Now, however, she wasn't so sure.

"On the one hand," she thought, staring into the sheet, all the while noting that she had thought "hand" rather than "hoof", "I'd have to stay out of Equestria and away from all of my friends. On the other hand, if I change back into a pony, there might never be a way for me to change back if I change my mind. There's still so much of human society to explore..." She looked up at Michael, who had closed his eyes and leaned further against the headboard, "And then there's Michael. He's so kind, and caring, and smart, and he could teach me so much..."

"Michael?"

He opened his eyes, "Hm?"

"Michael, I... I just don't know what to choose."

He shrugged, "Okay."

Twilight stared at him, her face a mix of disbelief and surprise, "'Okay'?"

He laughed, "C'mon, Twilight, It's a really big decision for you! You didn't really think I was expecting an answer right now? How could I? I mean, first thing in the morning? Before either of us have even had breakfast? Twilight, that is not a pre-breakfast question."

She let out a small chuckle then leaned closer against him, "I think I love you."

Michael closed his eyes again and smiled, "I think I love you too."


After taking their showers and getting dressed, Twilight and Michael joined the others for the morning meal in the great hall.

For Michael, breakfast was disappointing. Although, intellectually, he knew that Equestria was a country populated entirely by vegetarians, seeing the great spread of food on the long dining table, his stomach protested at the lack of meat on his plate. Still, the fruit was savory, the pancakes were unbelievably fluffy, and the tea was excellent; he couldn't complain.

As the typical morning chatter continued amongst the diners, Michael enjoyed the calmer and quieted atmosphere near his seat towards the end of the table where he sat next to Twilight, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna.

As he took another bite of cinnamon and brown sugar coated apple chunks, Princess Celestia decided to strike some conversation.

"Michael, as the first human within Equestrian borders, what is your opinion of our kingdom?

He put down his fork and took a sip of orange juice to wash down the apple, "Well, I have to say I'm... I guess 'in awe' would be the best way to put it. Equestria seems so utopic. I mean, clearly my experience is incredibly limited and there is a lot I don't understand... still, through my research, I find myself amazed at, despite the lack of high technology, how well everything seems to work itself out in Equestrian society. Everyone has a purpose, a job, something to do that makes them a productive member of society; it seems to be quite fulfilling for your denizens. Combined with how beautiful and serene the landscape is," he looked towards Luna, "especially at night, I can understand the appeal."

The elder princess smiled at him, "I'm glad you've found Equestria to your liking, but what do you mean by 'research'?"

"I had done some research on Equestria's culture and history in the library of the conversion bureau."

She laughed, "Now I understand why you and Twilight Sparkle get along so easily."

Michael let out a small laugh as he looked over at Twilight, who was busy talking with the others, "I suppose our mutual love of reading is part of it."

Luna leaned over and whispered something into her sister's ear. Celestia nodded, then turned to Michael.

"It seems my sister would like to ask you some questions, if that's alright."

Michael gave a smile and nodded cordially, "Of course, ask away."

As the rest of the room realized what was going on, they quickly hushed to hear the younger princess speak.

"Dr. Frost, You said you're a professor?" asked Luna in her soft, slightly-boyish voice.

"Yes, I'm a professor of Applied Mechanics, but I primarily taught physics."

"What's 'Applied Mechanics'?"

Michael puffed out his cheeks and exhaled deeply, "Jeeze, what isn't it?" he rubbed the back of his head as he thought, "So you have pure scientists who work in the world of math and theory, then you have pure engineers who work in the 'real world', getting their hands dirty. Well, applied mechanics is what bridges the gap between the two. We take the pure math and help apply it to the real world."

"For example?" asked Princess Celestia.

"For example," Michael repeated as he thought, "Say you wanted to build a bridge; if you told me what you wanted to move across it, I would do the math and tell you what you would have to build the bridge out of. Or vice versa; you tell me what you want to build it out of and I tell you what's the maximum weight it can hold." He tried to think of a cooler example, "I can tell you how to build an earthquake proof building, how much down force a car would need to travel at the speed of sound, or even how to design a concert hall to get the best acoustics across all the seats."

Princess Luna's face brightened, "That's amazing! It must be a fun class."

He smiled, "Oh, it is. The first week I have my students make little wooden cars powered by small tanks of carbon dioxide," he laughed evilly, "Then I have them calculate the force of the tank based on the mass and speed of their car."

Luna took a moment in thought, "Dr. Frost, our schools are in session now, isn't yours too?"

Even if she didn't, Michael knew where this was going, "Yes, it is."

"Then, shouldn't you be teaching now?"

Michael smiled through the pain. It was a perfectly innocent question, but he hated being right.

"Unfortunately, my students have all left me."

"Left you? What do you mean? Where did they go?"

He sighed, "To Cloudsdale or Phillydelphia, I suppose. They've all been ponified and I guess they didn't have much use for a degree from a human university."

Luna looked downcast, "I see..."

He looked at the dark blue mare and saw her sadness for him, "C'mon Princess, It's alright. After all, if I was busy teaching then I wouldn't have been able to build the things I did and visit this beautiful country you and your sister share."

She looked back up at Michael, "Don't you want to be ponified?"

Michael shook his head and maintained his smile, "No, I'm afraid not."

"Why?

Again, he puffed out his cheeks, trying to think of how to explain his ideals in an accessible manner, "Princess, are you proud to be a pony?"

Luna seemed taken aback by his question, "Yes, of course I am."

"Well, I'm proud to be a human. But, as a human, I'm partially responsible for what my species has done to this planet. So I'm sticking around to do what I can to fix our collective mess." he shrugged, "It's probably an exercise in futility but how can I expect others to do their part if I don't do mine?"

"Would you ever get ponified?"

He shrugged, "Maybe someday. I see how things are going with humanity. More and more of us are getting ponified and I'm not so stubborn as to howl at the moon," Michael took another sip of his orange juice, listening to the light laughter that began to emerge from the rest of the ponies. Michael looked around, waiting for someone to let him in on the joke.

At that moment, one of the royal guards marched into the room and approached Princess Celestia. As he murmured something in her ear, the Princess began to smile.

"Everyone, I have wonderful news! The capsules in Cloudsdale and Phillydelphia have both been found and locked away safely."

A small cheer erupted from the table.

"Wait a minute," said Twilight, "that means the one in Cantorlot is still unaccounted for!"

The Princess's head dipped slightly, "Yes, that is correct."

Michael drummed his fingers against the surface of the table, "The last one... We've got to draw them out somehow."

"Draw them out?" asked Twilight.

"Yeah. If that thing goes off, the damage will be horrendous; All of Cantorlot would become humans, the princesses included. We need to draw them out so that, if they set off the capsule, it'll be on our terms."

Rainbow Dash leaned forward, "Like a trap?"

He continued drumming, "No... More like a quarantine. Someplace where, even if they set it off before we nab 'em, we can control the spread and the damage."

"But what could we do to draw em out?" said Applejack, putting her hoof to her chin, thinking.

"OoH! Ooh! I know!" squirmed Pinkie Pie, raising her hoof excitedly, "Whatifwetellthemthattheyalreadylostandthenthey'llbeall, like,'nuh-uh'andwe'llbeall, like,'yuh-huh'-"

As Applejack shoved a hoof in Pinkie Pie's mouth, leaving her to make muffled noises as Michael deciphered her ramblings.

Michael's eyebrows peaked and he snapped his fingers, "Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!"

She pulled AJ's hoof from her mouth, "I am?"

Almost comically, the rest of the Ponyville residents chimed, "She is?"

Princess Celestia nodded, "I believe I understand what Michael means. If we were to announce, for example, that the HLF had been defeated and hold a large event as a 'celebration', the remaining HLF agent would likely appear and attempt to set off the capsule there and then..."

"...right where we'd be waiting for them," finished Michael, clenching a hand into a fist.

"Exactly!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, whose smile was met by sarcastic looks from around the table.

"Alright!" shouted Rainbow Dash, now hovering over her seat, "Let's do this!"


By the next day, the news of the HLF's defeat had been spread throughout Cantorlot and arrangements had been made for the celebration that evening.

Michael watched from one of the castle's windows as the marble tiles of the main outdoor court, as well as the pillars, were replaced with salt duplicates. The canopies stretched across the pillars also had a salt coating on them and were rigged so that they could be dropped if anything were to happen.

He smiled; it wasn't his idea, but he loved the ingenuity of it all the same.

"Well," came Princess Celestia's voice suddenly from behind him, "It seems the preparations are going well."

"Yes," he answered, turning to face her, "Honestly, I didn't think you'd take my analogy to a quarantine so literally, but converting the main court to salt was a great idea."

Celestia laughed, "You learn a thing or two when you've been around as long as I have. Please, take a walk with me."

He nodded and began walking alongside the princess through the castle.

"Michael, I wanted to thank you for treating my sister so cordially at breakfast yesterday."

"Why shouldn't I have?"

"It's not that you had any reason not to, it's simply that, well, she's very sensitive to what people think about her since her return."

"Her return from being Nightmare Moon? Yes, I had read about that."

"Yes, well then, thank you for taking that into consideration with you behavior towards her."

"Actually, I treated her just like I would treat anyone else. To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced of the truth of those stories. Forgive my prying, but are you really over a thousand years old?"

"Yes."

Michael shook his head as he walked, "I could never imagine living that long. The world must seem so boring to you..."

She laughed, "Michael, living as long as I have, I've had the opportunity to make so many friends, with each one bringing a wonderful new perspective through which I can view the world. Has experience made the world a little more predictable? Yes, but never boring. And certainly not now that there are so many humans becoming ponies, each one of them bringing a point of view that never before existed in my kingdom."

He laughed a little, smiling at the beauty of her statement, "It's wisdom like that that makes it hard to disbelieve your mythos."

They arrived at a room that appeared to be a fashion boutique. Inside Rarity and Twilight were chatting, but bowed upon noticing the Princesses entrance.

"Now," said Celestia, "Twilight, Michael, I have a surprise for you."

"You do?" He asked.

"Yes, as I'm sure the two of you would like to be present this evening, I've come up with a spell to help facilitate that."

Michael began to object, "Thank you, but I-"

Twilight hushed him, "Princess, what do you mean?"

"I've come up with a spell that would create an illusion. To everyone at the event, you two will..." she glanced at Michael, "...appear to be ponies."

Twilight beamed, "I'll look like my old self?"

"Yes," Celestia smiled back then looked at Michael, "and for you, well, I have something special for you."

Michael cringed and closed his eyes as her horn began to glow, engulfing Twilight and himself in her magic. Soon, however, he heard gasps from both Twilight and Rarity. He opened his eyes and looked around frantically for a mirror.

Spotting one, he ran for it.

His jaw dropped.

"Oh my," Rarity stammered, "Michael, you certainly make for a rather handsome colt."

"I used my nephew, Prince Blueblood, as the basis," commented the princess.

Michael stared at his reflection and watched it stare back, his front hoof moving when he moved his arm. Pearly white coat and horn, long dark brown hair parted to both sides, and blue eyes. Michael wasn't sure how to react but, whatever emotion he was experiencing, it wasn't anything close to satisfaction.

"Oh god, I look like Fabio..."

He heard a small squeal from Twilight, "Oh my goodness, your cutie mark!"

"Oh, what now?!" he thought as he turned to look at it in the mirror.

It was a wrench.

"Huh."

Michael wasn't sure if he liked it, but at least he didn't dislike it.

He turned around himself, "Well, Twilight, what do you think?"

"It's not exactly 'you', but you look very nice."

"Of course, you'll need some formal attire..." Rarity began, moving in for the kill.

The Princess laughed, "Oh, how silly of me! I nearly forgot."

Suddenly, the illusion was modified so that Michael was wearing a tuxedo.

He sighed in relief, glad to have been given salvation from the Rarity's ravenous intentions.

Needing a little time to himself, Michael headed towards the door, "Well, I think I'm going to go poke around the grounds until it's time."


As music filled the evening air, Michael stood by one of the pillars, keeping a watchful eye on crowd. One of guardsponies came and stood next to him.

"You should go and mingle," the blue maned colt advised him in his gruff voice, "You're drawing attention to yourself."

"What, and you don’t?"

"We're supposed to look big and imposing, you're supposed to lay low. Don't worry about protecting everypony; that's our job."

Michael conceded and began walking around the floor, grabbing the occasional hors d'oeuvre. Finally making it to Twilight and the others, he began to notice Fluttershy fidgeting.

"What's the matter Fluttershy? Everything okay?"

"Oh, yes, I mean, I think so. I've just got this bad feeling..."

Soon, the music stopped and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna emerged from inside the castle.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts! As you no doubt have heard, the Human Liberation Front has recently attempted several acts of terrorism here in Equestria. While I'm not at liberty to discuss the details, rest assured that they have been soundly defeated!"

As the crowd of upper-echelon ponies began cheering and stomping their hooves, Pinkie Pie suddenly looked very worried.

"Guys, my knees are feeling super pinchy..."

Taking a cue from the rest of the group, Michael began to scan around the room.

"Who is it? Who could be carrying it? No one is wearing any saddle bags..."

It was then that Michael noticed that there were only three people in the quartet. The violinist was gone, but her violin was left on her chair. Moreover, the violin case was gone as well.

There she was. She was heading straight towards Celestia.

Celestia who had not yet made it under the canopy.

Michael began to run across the floor, pushing through the crowd of ponies. As he shoved his way through, the illusion began to fade. Halfway there, he was no longer disguised, his new appearance causing the crowed to gasp and now open up for him.

"To hell with your hubris, Celestia!" screamed the violinist as she opened the case and engaged the timer on the capsule, "This world belongs to the humans! Humanus Pro Vita!"

Michael shoved the mare out of the way and kneeled over the violin case, carefully removing the capsule.

"5 seconds?! There’s no time!" he thought.

Hugging the capsule like football, he dove onto the salt flooring.

"PULL THE CANOPY! NOW!"

As the canopy fell, and the gas began to press against him, Michael prayed.

"Please...

Let me be enough...

Let me be enough to slow it down...

So that Twilight can live..." Next Chapter: Chapter 20 Estimated time remaining: 20 Minutes

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