Applejack leaned back in her chair, a ponderous expression on her face as she stared at the small laptop screen in front of her. Her forehooves suddenly lifted as if being controlled by some unseen force. Rather than fight or react with surprise to this strange phenomenon, Applejack only giggled playfully as ‘she’ typed out ‘hashtag get tireket.’

“Ah keep telling you,” she said to the empty room, “you don’t actually type out the word ‘hashtag’!” Applejack’s hooves moved over the keyboard, changing the message to simply “#get rekt”.

“Hmph,” a deep voice uttered. “Well, you just managed to murder all my joy.”

Applejack rolled her eyes a smile still on her face. “It’s ‘killjoy’, ya big, goofy ghost. Besides, mah friends would get mighty suspicious if I started making a buncha references ta ya…” She frowned slightly. “Though, Ah do regret not usin’ ‘The Centaur of Attention’ as a handle.”

A large, ethereal hand, almost as large as Applejack herself, suddenly appeared between Applejack and her computer, the index finger extending out until it reached Applejack’s chin and gently tickled it.

Applejack smiled and hummed contently, allowing the finger to gently careers the underside of her muzzle.

“Fret not, Applejack,” the deep voice answered, “I have been studying a method that will absolutely incinerate your friends.”

Applejack bolted upright in her chair and turned, staring the massive ghostly visage of Tirek in the face. A cold sweat came over Applejack as she looked at the massive evil grin on his face. She was suddenly reminded that the magical centaur had once brought all of Equestria to its knees. “What?! Yer’ not gonna hurt…?”

“Oh yes!” Tirek exclaimed. “I have been researching the dampest and coldest of memes!”

Applejack’s eyes widened in realization slightly and she burst into a fit of laughter that filled her bedroom. “Ahehehehehe! You mean you want to ‘burn’ my friends with ‘dank memes’!”

“Aye!” Tirek confirmed. “They shall need an entire barrel of ice cold water to sooth their harsh internet wounds!”

Applejack just chuckled as she faced forward and leaned far back in her chair. Despite Tirek’s ethereal state, Applejack’s head seemed to stop as it reached his beard and chest. The orange pony closed her eyes and began to happily rub her head against the ghostly whiskers. “Oh Tirek, I jus’ wish mah friends could understand what we have together…”

Tirek smiled warmly and closed his eyes as he gently placed his hands around Applejack, embracing her with his massive translucent digits. He leaned his head down.

Despite Tirek’s spectral state, Applejack could feel every touch and even his hot breath on her ears. She trembled with delight as Tirek held her close to his massive body and whispered, “Haters gonna hate.”

Author's Notes:

A friend of mine wanted submissions for crack ships on her tumblr, the funnier the better. She lost interest by the time I wrote this, but I figured it'd make a nice little addition.