Lazarus

I appeared just past the threshold of the tattered, desolate, dilapidated Bethany Manor, its former greatness a memory even before I was born. I returned to my homestead, my body still aflame, for only one reason.
Not many appreciate how difficult it is to magically repair the skin and tissue of your whole front. The easiest method will baffle all but the most experienced potion makers: a brew that consists of forty different ingredients and needs to brew for 2 years. Luckily, I had several batches prepares in advance, for an occasion such as this.

I gripped the still-crackling flames engulfing my body with my magic and snuffed out the fire. Celestia's spell had done quite a number on me. Most of my skin was burned away, and what was left was charred and blackened. Each step to the washroom hurt my legs deliciously, but I managed to make it to my tub without fainting, and began work.

To the left of the iron tub were four large wooden wine barrels. Sitting on top of one was a sharp hunting knife, caked with blood. I grabbed them both in my telekinetic white glow and brought them to me. The knife floated to the underside of the barrel and shot forward, impaling the soft, semi-rotting wood. When I removed the knife, a liquid just thinner than molasses poured into the tub. The potion, a murky shade of brown, wasn't very attractive to the eye, but it would serve my purposes just fine. When the barrel was empty, I lowered it to the floor, shed whatever remained of my clothing (save for my necklace) and stepped into the tub.

I slowly submerged myself, all the way to my neck. Bubbles rose over my chest in rhythm with my breathing.

"Nothing quite compares to a lungful of holes," I whispered to nobody. I sank lower and lower into the potion, all the while thinking about Celestia. She was hiding something, I knew that for certain. Which is why I planned to find her as soon as possible. I couldn’t very well do that with no face, so I sucked in a deep breath (entirely for my own amusement) and submerged my entire head in the potion.

A four hour soak was enough to entirely repair my flesh and replace my skin to its former alabaster glory. I pulled myself out of the tub, giving my legs a bend just to ensure that everything was in working order. I shook my body, the last drippings of muddy potion flying off in little droplets onto the wooden floor. I knew the house inside and out, so it was no trouble for me to levitate a towel and a spare set of clothes from three rooms over, and bring it here.

When I was sufficiently dry and dressed, my cross necklace hidden behind my shirt, I proceeded to pack. My old saddlebag, along with its contents, were scorched to hell, so I pulled a spare one from a bedroom one level up and strapped it to my hip. As I walked out of the bathroom to retrieve a bucket, objects floated through the house and into my bag, surrounded by my glow. I didn't pack much, just a hunting knife, a loaf of bread (I didn't need it, but you never know), and my personal Almanac, a collection of the Bethany's favorite spells and enchantments, along with the incantations involved for the more complex arcane arts. This book was older than me, spells scribbled in some places by my father, and his father before him, and likely even his father before him. Thousands of spells, illusion spells, restoration spells, destruction spells, conjuration spells, alteration spells.

And yet, I had to empty my tub by hand.

"I know everything about this house," I grumbled to myself. "Every crack, every crevice, every creaking floorboard, but I can't find this damned bucket!" I would have said more, if it weren't for me stepping into the very bucket I was searching for.

La vie est drôle. A saying from a country east of Equestria, across an ocean and shrouded in a seemingly never-ending cold wind called Mistral. The land is like ice, and not even the pegasi can do much about it. Despite the frigid winds, the people living there are said to be full of warmth and passion. Even their language was fiery and spicy. La vie est drôle was something of a national motto. It translates to "life is amusing". At the time, I thought the irony of my hoof in the bucket was the extent of life's amusement.

I later came to learn that it was a mere precursor.

"I swear, it's like you have a mind of your own," I said, pulling my hoof free. I returned to the washroom and scooped up a bucket of potion. It was a tedious job, but the potion would eat through the steel of the tub after a few days. I’d rather not have that happen, considering this house has been in my family for generations.

With a significantly heavier bucket in my hand, I lazily made my way out of my house. To my confusion and mild annoyance, there were people waiting just outside what was legally my land, a couple yards from my front door. Two unicorns with faces identical, from their emerald eyes to to their mischievous grins. They both had the same light yellow, near cream skin, auburn hair done in the same neat style, and the same lavish red and white striped coats. The only difference between the two was in the form of a thick, well-groomed mustache on one of their faces. Behind them was a cart with some sort of wares, the nature of which I couldn’t discern from here.

“Oh! Hello, dear sir!” said the mustached one. “Would you be willing to spare just a moment of your time?”

“My brother and I have something here that will no doubt make you rich beyond your wildest dreams!” promised the other. I rolled my eyes, but made my way over to them nonetheless. I lowered my bucket to the ground and crossed my arms.

“Well? I’m waiting,” I said with a small grin. “That’s quite a claim, so I hope you can back it up.”

“Why, of course!” said the first brother. “If there’s one thing we know, it’s how to make money, and make money this will!”

“And, of course, it will cost you nothing compared to the riches you’ll reap from our product!’ insisted the second brother. “Can we ask your name, kind sir?”

“Lazarus. Lazarus Bethany,” I said nonchalantly. The brothers spared a glance to each other, and it was clear that they thought they’d be making a pretty penny off of me.

“Ah, a Bethany? Well, sir, my charming brother here is Flim,” said the first brother.

“And he’s Flam, and we are honored that you, a Bethany, would take the time out of your busy day to hear about what we have to offer!” said Flam. So far, that seemed to be the only honest thing the two have said.

“Tell me, Ser Bethany, have you ever been challenged to a duel?” asked Flam.

“Why, yes. Just today, actually,” I said, mildly curious.

“Have you ever, and not to imply you have, mind you, just a question, have you ever lost?” asked Flim.

“Earlier today, I walked away the loser, yes,”

“Well, we have just the thing for you,” said Flim. “Show him, Flam.”

Flam’s horn lit with a green glow, and three items from his cart floated over to him. One of them, clearly the main product, fell into my hand, while Flim and Flam took one of the other two, both of which in coin bags. The thing in my hand was like nothing I’d ever seen. It was heavy in my hand, made of some sort of steel or iron, with a tube pointing straight forward and curving in the back into what I could only assume to be some sort of handle. In front of where my fingers rested was a tiny bit of steel pointing downwards and curving in. My confusion was obvious, and the brothers wasted no time explaining.

“You see, Ser Bethany, the problem with swords is that you need to be close for them to be any good,” said Flim.

“And magic requires time and energy to cast, and can be unreliable,” said Flam. “What you have in your hand is the perfect replacement for blades and wands alike!”

“What’s it called?” I asked. The brothers tilted their heads and smiled nervously.

“With all honesty, we haven’t given it a proper name yet,” admitted Flim. “This is the first one, and we’re still…”

“Testing names. Currently, it’s known as a hand cannon,” finished Flam. “And it works like this.”

They showed me how the tube actually was like a cannon barrel. Flim reached into his bag and withdrew an orb of lead smaller than a bit. He pushed it into the barrel while Flam took his bag, filled with blast powder, and poured some into a cavity near the top. They promised me that their hand cannon could drop a man in the blink of an eye and, to prove it, they captured a wild rabbit and held it in place with their magic. They guided my hand, and stood behind me.

“Keep a grip on that, tight as you can, and press down on the trigger whenever you’re ready,” said Flam.

“Be warned. It’s… Loud, to say the least.” said Flim. I shrugged slightly and pulled the trigger. The cannon exploded loudly in my hand, blowing my hand to a bloody, smoking stump. I let out a scream, a genuine, agonized scream. Killables can be so easy to fool. Just scream enough and they believe the end times are here.

“Oh my goodness, are you alright?!” asked Flim panickedly. Clearly, he hadn’t planned for this.

“Am I alright?! Am I alright?!” I screamed. “You blew my bloody hand off! Of course I’m not alright! I’ll have your heads for this!”

“Now, now, ser, let’s not do anything rash,” said Flim. “Honest mistake. Clearly, our product needs more work.”

“And, to express our regret and gratitude for you handling this as delicately as you are…” said Flam, digging through his pockets. He pulled out a small coin bag and pressed it into my good hand. “Are we… Are we on good terms?”

“Of course,” I said suddenly. I shoved my bloody stump into my bucket, held it for a moment, and withdrew my fully-repaired hand. The looks on the brothers’ face was priceless.

“Bah…”

“Eh…”

“You’re the type to get people to buy bull piss thinking it’s a health tonic,” I said, tucking the coin bag into my pack. “If you want to really make money, you need to be able to get people to buy a health tonic thinking it’s bull piss.”

“What is that potion?” asked Flim, finally recovering from his shock.

“As far as you’re concerned, it’s bull piss.”

“That could catch you a fair bit of coin if you sell it right,” noted Flam.

“I doubt it. The stuff’s deadly toxic,” I said, kicking the bucket to the side. Every blade of grass that the potion touched instantly wilted and shriveled. “A single drop will kill a man thrice over.”

“But…” said Flam confusedly.

“But, Flim, Flam, I like you,” I said. “You two can keep a secret, eh? One conman to another?”

They clearly weren’t capable of speech just then, so they just nodded their heads. I spun a tale, about the Bethany fortune that had gone missing years ago. I told them that I found it, and I had it hidden somewhere in the house. They fell for the bait, and asked where it was. I sold them on the idea that I hid the gold at the bottom of the bathtub, beneath the toxic regeneration potion. You’d never think to look for gold in a bathtub, would you?

“Only one problem,” I said. “The potion, I didn’t know until recently, is highly corrosive to gold. If the coins stay submerged for longer than twenty-four hours, they melt into nothing.”

“Why are you telling us this?” asked Flam.

“Because I want you to have it,” I said. “You see, I’m actually engaged to marry Princess Celestia. We’re keeping it quiet until the rest of House Bethany works out the details with the Royal Family, but I’m soon to be prince. In fact, I depart to see my beloved now. Clearly, I don’t need the bits, so you may as well have them.”

“This is… This must be a hoax,” said Flim.

“Look, the bits will be gone by tomorrow, either way. Do what you will,” I said. “But it’s a small fortune, enough for you two to live off comfortably till the end of your days. If you want the bits, go on. Just make sure that you don’t spill a drop on yourself. Remember: a single drop will kill you. But, if you want to let thousands of bits go to waste, that’s your choice.”

I started walking away, and heard the whispering of Flim and Flam, followed by them scrambling to grab the bucket and run inside my home in search of bits that weren’t there. As soon as I was out of earshot, I let out the laugh I’d been holding in. Those two were good, but I was better. I wasn’t quite done laughing for a while, even when I made it to whatever town the manor was nearest. I never could remember the name of the place, seeing as I was rarely there. I moved through the roads, doing my best not to be noticed on my way to town square, where four pegasi were standing idly, one of them leaning against the oak frame of their king carrier. It was little more than a large wooden box with four thick poles extending horizontally from each bottom corner.

“You,” I said, pointing to the one I thought to be in charge. “How quickly can you get me to Canterlot?”

“Depends on what you’re payin,” he said matter-of-factly. I pulled out the bits I had acquired from Flam and threw it to him. He pulled open the bag and peered at the gold.

“If we leave now, I can get you there by midnight,” he said.

“Wake me when we arrive,” I ordered, pulling open the door and taking a seat in the cushy bench. We were in the air before I even properly closed my eyes, and I was soon asleep and dreaming of Celestia in a wedding gown, and of me gifting my necklace around her neck.

Celestia

I strode swiftly down the clean, quiet, boring corridors of my castle, passing by a servant or a guard every now and then. My sentry had warned me that Father was livid, and urged me to change into something a little more respectful, but I kept on my armor nonetheless. As far as I was concerned, my armor was a second set of skin, and I wasn’t about to shed it for him.

Before I was halfway to the throne room’s massive doors, I saw that I would not be entering alone. Standing, staring at the door blankly, was an old friend of my parents, and something of a mentor to me. Normally, I saw her beautiful purple robes and smiled, remembering the years when she watched after me as a foal. Today, I felt nothing but bitter resentment for Twilight Sparkle.

“You sure took your time getting here,” she said, not looking from the door.

“How did you know I was here?” I asked, knowing her answer. I stood next to her, staring at the door in mimic.

“Wizard sense,” she said, me answering my own question in my head. “Are you alright?”

“I am not a child, Twilight Sparkle,” I said, my voice full of more venom than I intended. If Twilight noticed, she let it roll off her back.

“The girls were worried,” she said nonchalantly. “Especially Fluttershy,”

“Ms. Fluttershy is always worried about one thing or the other,” I scoffed. “Can we get this going? The sooner the old man runs out of breath, the sooner I can get back to work.”

“What do you plan to tell him?” asked Twilight.

“The truth, as shocking as that may be. Not that it matters,” I sighed. “Nothing I say will change how he feels about me.”

“Oh? And how does he feel about you?”

“If you can’t tell, you need your eyes checked, Twilight Sparkle. He clearly hates me,” I grumbled. “And suffice it to say, the sentiments are returned in full force.”

“You don’t really believe that. And I commend you for telling the truth,” said Twilight with a smile. She folded her arms behind her back in her favorite pacing pose, but never moved. “I’m sure your father will take your honesty into account when doling out your… Your punishment.”

“I doubt that old man has a concept of mercy,” I scoffed. For some reason, this particular rude comment made Twilight furrow her brow almost angrily.

“That’s enough, spoiled princess,” said Twilight firmly. “I think we’ve kept him waiting long enough.” I think she could feel my tension, because her tone softened slightly. “Don’t worry. Stick to the truth. I’ll be there the whole time to make sure he goes easy on you, okay?”

I nodded, then placed my palm on the door. Twilight did the same and, together, we pushed open into the throne room doors.

The massive chamber was mostly entirely empty, given its size. Directly ahead of me and sitting in his golden throne was the sad, angry, pathetic shell of a man that was unfortunately my father. He managed to keep his massive cerulean wings curled up, a sign of him restraining himself. Normally, when Father was angry, his wings would unfurl, making him seem three times as large as he actually was. On top of his head of long, tar-black hair was a golden crown with three gems: a pink one to the left, a blue one to the right, and, in the center, a gem that was both colors, split down the middle. In his hand was his staff, a long branch of golden oak containing two gems at the end, a sapphire and a white diamond.

On bended knee a few feet closer to me was Luna, dressed as the perfect princess we all knew she was. Her azure hair was tightly braided and belted with her sapphire diadem, sparkling and perfectly shined. She was, of course, in one of her ceremonial dresses, showing only the utmost respect for her dear Daddy.

To the right and left sides of her, standing in one line of three and one line of two, facing the center of the room were my father’s personal centurions, six mares, two of each race, that we had known for our entire lives. The line of three to Luna’s right consisted of Ms. Rarity, Ms. Applejack, and Ms. Rainbow Dash. The other line, to Luna’s right, were Ms. Pinkamena and Ms. Fluttershy, each of the five dressed in their normal golden armor for their job. Twilight nodded to me and took her spot at the head of the shorter line. I swallowed my fear, then my pride, and strode into the middle of the room, to the left of Luna. As though it would cause me physical pain, I gingerly bent the knee to my father.

And for about three minutes, nobody said anything.

“Thank you for finally delivering my daughter, Twilight Sparkle,” said his royal highness finally. “I take it she was trouble, as usual?”

“Not at all, my liege. She was quite cooperative, actually,” reported Twilight. “And I have no reason to believe that she will stop being as such anytime soon.”

“Excellent. Now, leave us,” commanded my father. Twilight sputtered for a second, trying to worm her way into staying without showing favoritism towards me.

“L-leave? But, your highness-”

“The Court is not needed at this moment. This is a personal matter, Twilight Sparkle, pertaining to my family. I take it you understand how I regard family matters,” said the king.

“Yes. Family matters,” said Twilight shakily. “Of course, my liege.”

The six centurions brought their right fists to their hearts in salute, then filed out of the room, Twilight muttering an apology under her breath. When the door was closed, I looked at my father expectantly. Again, he took his sweet time speaking.

“It has come to my attention that Luna not only was not involved in Celestia’s departure, but she actively tried to prevent it,” said Father. “Is this true, Luna?”

“Yes, Father,” I said. “Luna had nothing to do with it. She tried to-”

“Silence!” he commanded, effectively shutting me up. “Luna.”

“Yes, your highness, it is the truth,” said Luna, respectfully referring to our father as “your highness”, as opposed to my sarcastic variety of the title.

“Then why did you accept the punishment I sentenced?” asked Father. For him, everything needed to be a trial.

“I felt some sort of punishment would be appropriate, as I failed to stop her,” answered Luna. “As well as that, I doubt you’d be willing to believe me, had I told you when she departed eleven days ago.”

“Very well. Rise,” ordered Father, Luna obeying. “Take your position.” Luna gratefully strode across the room, stopping to Father’s left.

“Read the list, Luna,” said Father, handing Luna a scroll of parchment. My sister unrolled it and read it out loud.

“Truancy. Desertion of position,” listed Luna. “Thievery in the amount of a ruby-mahogany wand, a set of chainmail armor, a short sword, and three spellbooks from the King’s personal library. Disobeying the word of the King. Disobeying the word of the Castle Archmage.” She looked a little closer at the list. “Oh, and she broke a vase.”

“Would you like to refute any charges?” asked Father, mostly as a formality. He didn’t think I was foolish enough to actually argue with him when he was clearly right. As it turns out, I was.

“I would like to refute the charge of theft, in the amount of a ruby-mahogany wand and three spellbooks,” I said. “The wand is mine. I chopped the tree, dug out the ruby, and forged it myself. And Father allowed me to borrow the books weeks ago.”

“As you are a minor, and still a student of King Solaris’ Academy for the Magically Inclined, you cannot legally own a wand,” reported Luna matter-of-factly. “As such, the ruby-mahogany wand in question belongs either to your parents, the Academy, or a magical tutor appointed by his royal highness. In this case, that is the archmage, Twilight Sparkle. As for the books, that remains to be seen. We will check the library log shortly.”

“I would like to refute the charge of desertion,” I tried. “I was gone for eleven days, and I came back.”

“It would’ve been desertion if you were gone for an hour and returned,” countered Luna. “You had no permission to leave Canterlot, and deserted your post as Princess of Equestria and Symbol of the Sun.”

“I refute the charge of disobeying the word of Castle Archmage!” I said boldly. I knew I had this one. “Castle Canterlot doesn’t have an Archmage!”

“Twilight Sparkle, while not technically Archmage, is the closest Castle Canterlot has had in many years,” said Luna. “In fact, the only reason she is not Archmage is her age. The moment she turns 40 years of age, she will become Castle Archmage. That said, you are correct. As she is not currently the Archmage, that charge will be amended. Anything.else?”

“The vase,” I said sheepishly. “I would like to have that amended, as well. Besides the obvious that it was, in fact, my vase, I didn’t break it. Philomena did.”

“You expect me to try a bird in my court?” asked Father.

“Why, yes, I am. Are you afraid of being outsmarted?” I retorted.

“Careful, Celestia. This is a dangerous game you play,” warned Luna. I snorted quietly to myself, but tried to keep the snarky remarks to myself.

“Have you anything to say for yourself?” asked Father. “There is no justification good enough to explain eleven days of absence! Were you anyone but my daughter, you’d be staring at the cobblestones from the wrong side of a prison cell for six months! If you were lucky!”

“I had my reasons, and I regret absolutely nothing about my excursion.” I said boldly. “I’m sixteen years old, and can take care of myself. I have broken no laws. My actions and intentions were pure, and if you’re too senile to see that, then so be it. I face my punishment, head held high.” My father clenched his jaw tightly, his wings twitching slightly from his back. I was getting under his skin.

“For eleven days, you will be suspended from the Academy,” he said, his words like stone. “During these eleven days, any task you would have a servant do, you will do yourself. Perhaps even longer. Every moment you have that you are not cooking or cleaning, you will be studying. Every three days, I expect a new intermediate charm mastered. You are not to stray past the courtyard without an escort that I assign. You are to be in your bed by quarternight. Am I understood?”

Anger filled my being. This man! This heartless, shrivelled, husk of a man! Punishing me for attempting to complete his life’s work! How dare he, speak to me as if I am a child! As if he had never done exactly like I had.

“When will you come to your senses, Celestia?” he continued. “When will you understand! Your bull-headedness will be your demise!”

“Are you certain? You certainly lived a while,” I spat.

“Because I know when it’s time to stop chasing fairytales! Grow up, Celestia! The Elements of Harmony are not real!”

“Just because you can’t find them doesn’t mean they don’t exist,” I snarled. He was getting closer and closer to dangerous territory. “It’s time you, dear father, started accepting your failure!”

“I became king of Equestria because I refused to accept failure!” bellowed Solaris.

“And mother became queen by doing the exact opposite!” I shouted. He physically recoiled, as if smacked across the face. For a while, neither of us said anything. He pressed his staff into Luna’s hand and rose to his hooves.

“Rise,” he commanded, his tone leaving no room for misunderstanding. He was through playing games.

“Rise!” he shouted, shaking me from my thoughts. I immediately obeyed, some part of me regretting my outburst. That part was quickly silenced by my hubris.

“Show me your back,” ordered the King. I about-faced, my eyes now trained on the door. “Show me your back.” The second time he said it, I understood. I shakily pulled of my armor, then the shirt I had on beneath it, until all I was wearing on my chest was a linen brassiere. The doors flung open and, floating in an aura of cerulean light, was a thin, pliable branch of red mahogany.

“Repeat after me,” said the King. “I will not disobey my father.”

“I will not disobey my father,” I said, bracing myself.

SMACK!

The wood stung against my back, surely leaving a mark. I went to feel where I was struck, and my wrists were grasped in his magical aura. He raised my hands up high above my head, pulling me to the tips of my hooves.

“Again,” he said.

“I will not disobey my father,” I said again.

SMACK!

“Again.”

“I will not disobey my father.”

SMACK!

For the first couple of whips, I remember a small part of my brain laughing madly. The stick my father was disciplining me with, it was made of red mahogany! If I was recalling correctly, it was from the very tree that my wand was made of.

“I will not disobey my father.”

SMACK!

What was that saying? La vie est drôle? Life is amusing. Part of what I had stolen was being used to punish me.

“I will not disobey my father.”

SMACK!

He whipped me again and again, eventually totalling at 33. One lash for every meal I had missed while I was away. In the second I had before he released my arms, I wondered if he had done it intentionally. Even if he hadn’t, the irony was certainly amusing.

When he released me from his magical bondage, I collapsed onto the floor. All the pain seemed to flood me at once, overtaking my mind. I hardly processed his command to “Get her out of my sight!” or the hands that gently grabbed my arms and raised me up. Someone was carrying, no, dragging me out of the room and down the hall.

“You there!” said my savior. “Prepare a bath for the princess! Water and warm cream, hurry now!”

I blinked hard, trying to regain control of my brain. I knew who was carrying me, I definitely did. But who?

“Luna…” I said finally. I tried to push her off, but her grip was too tight.

“Sister, please stop fighting!” pleaded Luna. I shook myself free of her grasp and stumbled forward. I took maybe two steps before I felt my knees buckle, sending me tumbling down. I fell unconscious before I even hit the ground.

I awoke in a warm bath of milk, the pain of my back still alarmingly apparent. I was just so tired, I didn’t want to open my eyes. I had no clue how I had made it into the large bath, or who had filled it with milk, or why it felt so good, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to sleep off the pain and run off to the archives so I could find Lazarus.

“Finally. I thought you’d be asleep all night,” said a voice directly in front of me. My eyes shot open and, sitting across from me with his legs crossed over each other, was Lazarus.

“Lords and ladies, what are you doing in my bath?!” I demanded.

“What? I’m not in your bath,” scoffed Lazarus. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m looking right at you!”

“Yes,” he nodded.

“How did you get into the castle?” I asked. “Who let you in?”

“I’m not in the castle,” he said, calm as can be. “I’m not rude enough to just run into your room at midnight.”

“It’s midnight?” I asked. I shook my head. “How are you here? Why are you here?!”

“I thought we just went over this,” he snorted, shaking his head. “I’m not there.”

“But I’m looking at you,” I said.

“Now you’re getting it,” he said with a grin. This man was starting to make my blood boil by his very existence.

“You’re not making any sense!” I said.

“I’m making perfect sense. You were just asleep for the first half of the explanation,” he said. “When I was unlocking your magic, I put another spell on you that’d let me steal your eyes. Currently, I’m in an alley somewhere in Canterlot.

“Steal my eyes?”

“I see what you see, and put this image into your brain so that you can see and hear me,” explained Lazarus. “For conversational purposes.”

“So you can’t actually see me?” I asked, just to be certain.

“Well, yes and no. I see from your view, but also from the projection’s view,” he said. “The brain wasn’t meant to handle that much information, and it copes in an odd way. But I didn’t come here to give you a lesson in magical theory. I came to see why you were looking for Starswirl the Bearded.”

“Who said I was?” I asked nervously.

“You did. Maybe not with your words, but you definitely said it,” said Lazarus. “I know how to find him, if you’d like me to show you. Seeing as I’m in Canterlot and all, we may as well meet up and have a chat over some mead.” There was no need for thought. If he knew where Starswirl was, I would chase him to Tartarus and back.

“Where?” I asked.

“A little pub by the name of ‘The Berserking Barbarian’,” he said. Of course, he would pick the most violent, crime-ridden bar in Canterlot.

“How long will you stay?” I asked. “I might be a while.”

“All night, I expect. I ran into a bit of money, and this is some of the best wine I’ve ever had,” said Lazarus. “Take your time, Princess of the Sun.”

One second his image was there, and the next, there was no trace of it. As much as I wanted to soak in the milk, to let my pain melt away, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Lazarus had come to me! I needn’t search for him at all. A decade of looking and research, and all it took was for me to get flayed for the answers to fall into my lap.

I stepped out of the bath, which was, in reality, a glorified pit in the center of a mostly empty room. Directly in front of me was a shelved wall, with warm, folded towels and clothing for me. I dried myself, all the while thinking of how terrible it would be to wash and fold my own clothes from now on. There was a partition behind the tub, something I’d never bothered with. Besides, it was right in front of a window that perverted pegasi could easily peek through. I dressed myself in a disturbingly casual outfit for a princess, a simple yellow blouse with a black skirt.

Now all that remained was to find a way to sneak into my father’s room, steal my wand back, and leave the castle without being caught. As soon as I formed the thoughts in my head, I realized that I must’ve gone mad. I was planning to steal from a man who, just earlier today, flayed me with a stick, primarily for stealing from him. I was in no hurry for a repeat of that.

“No wand, then,” I muttered. Then, the thought hit me. “The window!”

It would be dangerous. I knew there was a vine of ivy that grew up the side of this particular tower that I could possibly climb down. Oh, it would be extremely dangerous, but I had no choice but to try. I ran across the room, past the partition and over to the open window. A glance down told me that a fall from this height would kill me in the best case scenario. Still, I needed to see Lazarus. I threw my leg over the windowsill and felt my leg grabbed by a cerulean aura.

“What was your plan, exactly?” asked Luna, stepping into more clear view. She had hidden behind the partition that I had disregarded earlier. “Did you think that, after this entire ordeal, Father would somehow not expect you to try to run off?”

“You’re just like him,” I growled.

“Thank you,” replied Luna cooly. She pulled me back into the room and shut the window with her magic. We stared each other down, her calm demeanor cutting through my own fiery gaze. Some part of me hated her. Some part of me wanted to blame all my troubles on her, to break her nose against the stone floor, to grab her by the hair and shove her perfect little face down into the tub until the bubbles stopped. That part of me was growing with every second we spent locked in each other’s gaze.

“I suppose you want me to apologize,” she said.

“Oh, what have you to apologize for?” I asked sarcastically. “Wait, was it perhaps the fact that you, my sister who is supposed to help and support me, was the main persecuting body in a case that ended with my back getting whipped off?”

“Celestia, do not make this any harder for me,” said Luna. “Do not act as if I enjoyed watching Father beat you. But do not act as if you did not deserve it, either.”

“You always take his side!” I snarled.

“Because he is almost always right,” she responded, still cool as can be. “He is your father, your elder. He cares for you and he does know better than you, as shocking as that may be.”

“What does that old fool know?” I scoffed.

“He knew that you’d be dumb enough to try to escape through the window,” pointed out Luna. “Why do you do this, Celestia? What is so worth you risking death to do?”

“You know exactly why, damn it! I do it because it needs to be done!”

“Chasing myths? That’s what needs to be done?” asked Luna. “Not honing your skills? Not learning how to be a royal? Not honouring your family? You think that you need to search the whole of Equestria for legends?!”

In sixteen years of life, I had never once laid hands on my sister. I had come dangerously close on many occasions, but I never once did. Not until that moment, when I gripped her around the throat.

“They are real! The Elements of Harmony do exist!” I bellowed. “They are real! And I will do anything to find them!”

“Release me, Celestia, lest harm befalls you,” said Luna, as calm as ever. She pushed my hand from her neck with shocking ease. “There is no evidence to their existence. Even Starswirl himself was skeptical when he departed.”

“I believe. I will find them, and I am not going to let your pointless skepticism stop me,” I said, noticeably more feeble than before. “We cannot afford to stop searching. I can’t afford to stop.”

“Celestia, you cannot cast a detection spell,” said Luna. “You can hardly levitate without a wand. Your magic is average, at best, and you think you can brave the worst of Equestria to find six magical artifacts? And what if you do find them? What’s the guarantee that they are of any use to you? Face it, sister, you are weak! You are a mouse in a land of lions.”

“The mouse outsmarted the lion, and ultimately emerged victorious,” I said bitterly.

“That’s all good and well, but you’re not a particularly smart mouse,” stated Luna. “You are going to get yourself killed, all for six stones that are most likely the machinations of a man who had on overzealous love for mead.”

“It doesn’t matter if I die or not! I have to try!” I screamed. “There is too much on the line for me to simply roll over and accept the Elements as myths! Need I remind you why we need the Elements of Harmony?”

“No, Celestia, you don’t need to remind me,” said Luna, her voice shifting from calm and cool to icy-cold and aloof. “But I think I may need to remind you.”

I screamed as loud as I could, refusing to allow my sister to get in my head. I would stand against her, finally best her in something! I wouldn’t let her hurt me, get under my skin. But, then, why was I falling to my knees? Why were there tears running down my face.

“I will find them,” I said feebly. Pathetically. Weakly. “I will find them.”

“Celestia…” said Luna, a bit more warmly than before. I felt her hand touch my shoulder, and I didn’t even have the energy to shake her off. “You… I understand your frustration and your desperation. Do you not think I share your pain? I searched for the Elements just as fervently as you did. But that time has passed. It is time for you to grow up, Celestia.”

“I will not stop. I might not be very smart, but I know that for certain,” I said boldly. “You can try to stop me, to prevent me from finding the Elements of Harmony, but I will not be defeated! I will march through rain and snow and ice and wind, and I will die a thousand deaths before I let my little sister stop me!”

We went silent for a moment. Luna seemed to be thinking about something, probably how she would subdue me so that she could bring me to my father for another thirty lashes. Luna let out a soft sigh, and lowered herself to the ground with me.

“Be careful down the ivy,” she said. “I will meet you in town square with your wand and sword. But this will be your last excursion in search of the Elements of Harmony, understood?”

She didn’t wait for an answer, striding out of the room without even glancing at me again. Part of me thought it must be a trap. Perfect little Princess Luna, going against her beloved father to aid and abet her criminal of a sister? Color me a skeptic, but I didn’t believe it. Not that it mattered terribly. My father could only do so much. I would return, receive my whippings, and live another day.

I could take another flaying if it meant another shot at the Elements.