When a Author gets bored

Chapter 1

"And so our story begins. . "

Once upon a time, in a far away kingdom known as 'Equestria.' There was a man at the age of 23 who was finally convinced to get off his ass and make something of himself.

This is were his tale begins.

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Equestria

10 / 8 / 1857

Starlight Destructor

It was a peaceful morning in the little town of Ponyville, a man laying on a rocket ship shaped bed was currently enjoying the latest video gaming experience. Which he payed for . . . Which His dad paid for with his hard earned money.

He pressed a series of buttons and executed the finishing move on the game's final boss. The pixel character on the screen jumped high in the sky and landed with a fatal force, blowing pixelated alien chunks all over the spaceship they were fighting on.

The ending was rumored to have good ol' fashioned pixel nudity in it, one could call it a reward fit for a hero. After all, he did spend hours of his life retrying levels over and over again, purely for the sake of achieving the Ultimate Ending.

Aka- Pixel boobies!

As the credits revealed the hero walking into the princesses room, the man grew excited and sat up. The hero pushed the door open and then-

"GOD DAMMIT STARLIGHT! Get off your damn video game and do something!"

Then the man's angry father bursted in, scaring the living shit outa the man. . . Who promptly threw his gaming device at the old man. The device flew through the air and slammed into the face of the old man with a incredibly strong amount of force.

Okay, that didn't happen. The throw was so laughably weak, the old man's arched brow was capable of deflecting the throw with a well timed frown.

The old man grew even more furious. "You're a disgrace to the Destructor name! You have done nothing in your life that's even worth mentioning! You're a failure!"

The 23 year old man sat against the wall and looked at his father, he smirked and struck a pose.

"Why dear father, I'm simply conserving my energy for the future!" The young man sounded so confident.

"Well the future is now! So get off yer fucking ass and do something! Get laid or get a job for fucks sake!" The old man threw his arms in the air, a frustrated look on his face.

The young man ceased his smirk and studied his father, who only got more angry at the lack of answers his useless son was giving him. The old man finally decided to do something the son never considered. . . Take his gaming device.

The old man bent down and snatched the device, he took one look at the screen then looked at his son. "What the hell is this!?" The young man's heart stopped as his father turned the screen and revealed a very. . Pixelated sex scene.

The hero was currently ramming his carrot inside the princess. No seriously, the hero was fucking the princess with a huge carrot.

Dead serious.

The young man froze and stared into the air. The father's brain turned some gears and he came up with a conclusion.

"You masterbate to this shit?" The old man observed the screen some more.

"W-w-what!?!? No! Fuck no!" The young man froze up and found himself incapable of making a excuse.

"Hmm . ." The old man grumbled.

The young man awkwardly stared at his father, who was watching the pixelated princess get fucked with two carrots. He coughed and scratched his head, trying his best to ignore the audio the device emitted.

"That's it, no more games for you." The old man announced.

The old man held no expression as he left the room, the young man hopped from his bed and followed him. The two walked through the halls and down the stairs and then onto the front yard. The old man tossed the device on the ground, he ordered his son to leave it alone as he walked to the barn.

He returned moments later with a strange looking device and a circular object, the young man questioned his father.

"What is that father?" He asked.

"This, my useless child, is a AA-12, though I wouldn't expect you to know what it is." The old man scowled at his son.

The old man inserted the circular object into the AA-12 and pulled a little stick back. He promptly aimed the AA-12 at his gaming device.

The ignorant young man simply stood there and wondered as to what was about to happen.

"What are you doin-"

*BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM*

The AA-12 roared fire and obliterated the gaming device. When the young man uncovered his ears and looked down, his gaming device was no more.

"What the hell dad! I payed for that!" The young man complained.

"No! I paid for it! You ungrateful little shit!" The old man sneered back.

The young man recoiled back in surprise, he's never been spoke to like this!

The old man continued, "I've had enough of you! Pack your shit and leave this household! Now!" The old man pointed at the house and spoke with a very convincing tone.

The young man screamed a manly scream and ran back into the house, straight up the stairs and back into his bedroom. He threw his closet door open and quickly packed a backpack. As he walked back to the exit, his family greeted him.

"Wasn't nice knowing you." Spoke his tsundere little sister.

"Get laid bro." Spoke his slightly younger brother.

"Don't get killed out there." Spoke his exhausted mother.

"Later big bro!" Spoke his innocent littlest sister.

The young man cried at how adorable she was and scooped he up in a big hug. He sat her down and she skipped off, cheerfully singing of her pet dog and cat.

As the young man walked to the front door, his father appeared from the shadows and confronted him.

"Listen, son. I know I'm rough on you sometimes, and I know you're scared outa your wits right now. But . . "

The young man interrupted him, "But you'll let me stay and you'll buy me another SpS?"

The old man bursted into laughter, "Hell no boy! You gotta face reality! I'm getting old and your younger brother is in no shape to run this farm."

Both father and son took a peak at the little brother, he was picking his nose and occasionally shoving it in his mouth.

The old man looked at his son, "Look, you got the potential to be a great man, but you'll never realize what you're capable of by sitting on your ass all day masterbating to your fucking carrot games!"  

The young man opened his mouth but closed it.

"It's time you leave the safety of your bedroom and talk to real people! I'm going to give you 100 bits and I want you to find yourself a place to stay in Ponyville. And I don't want you coming back until you've got a job, a real girlfriend! And a reputation!"

"O-okay, but one question!" The young man asked.

"What?" Replied his father.

"Where'd you get that AA-12?" The young man spoke.

"A fella wearing weird armor gave it to me, he praised my skill with firearms after I killed a bear that almost mauled him, then he showed me how to properly use it."

"Oh." Responded the young man.

"Now!" Cried the old man, "To send you on your way!"

The old man gave him a small bag that had 10 golden coins, each coin was worth 10 bits.

The man's father gave him a firm shove, sending him out of the house and onto the front porch. The young man turned and tried to make his displeasure clear, but the door slammed shut after the man's father gave him a short smile.

The man stood there, surprised by the events that just transpired, his whole life just went to complete shit in a matter a 2 hours. He turned and sat on the porch steps, contemplating if he should leave or camp on the porch.

Moments later, he head his sister yell, "I get his room!"

Then he mother replied with, "Not before I thoroughly search his room for anything and everything!"

The young man jumped back up, a chill ran down his spine. He turned and looked at the window to his room, he quickly checked his backpack to make sure he packed his journal. . . He did.

He sighed and quickly left the premises, not too keen with sticking around to see what they find. Once he was a good distance from his homestead, he sat on a large rock and took inventory.

2-Shirts

2-Pairs of pants

1-Pair of shorts

3- Pairs of undergarments.

2- Pairs of socks.

1-Long sleeve

1-Bottle of water

1-journal. . No Quill though.

1-Pocket Knife

The young man sighed and clipped his pocket knife to his jeans. He stood back up, slipped the backpack back on, and set sail for Ponyville.

He walked for what seemed like hours, his home was a decent pace from Ponyville. Luckily, while he was outa shape, his younger brother refused to let him sit on his ass 24/7, so he'd force him to jog a bit.

But he was was still outa shape, he wasn't necessarily fat though, just skin and bones. He was pulled from his thoughts when a familiar female called out to him.

"Hey there Starlight! What are ya doin' out here by yer self?" A female bearing a Stetson appeared from behind a tree, her name was Applejack.

The man gulped and quickly admired the woman's body, all muscly and shit. He was quite jealous.

"Just, uh, going for a walk." The man lied.

"It's not nice to lie ya know." Applejack aimed her finger at him.

"Uhh." The man froze, his conversation's with real women never last this long!

"I've been kicked from my household for being a really lazy guy." The man forced out, then he blushed and looked away.

"Certainly the first time I've  heard somethin' like that." Applejack thought for a moment.

"If what ya say is true, then go talk to a women named Twilight in Ponyville. She'll gladly help a fella out if ya mention me!"

The man's eyes started to glimmer, "You're serious!? You're not lying to me!?"

"Certainly not, ah'll tell ya what, if she rejects ya then ah'll return the favor by helping ya find somewhere to live." Applejack cheerfully grinned and gave the man a thumbs up.

The man suddenly had more confidence in fulfilling his father's wishes and earning his right to watch out for himself.

"Thanks Applejack!" The man hollered as he turned and ran off towards Ponyville.

He's perfectly capable of watching himself! He can get a job easy-peasy! And a girlfriend shouldn't be too terribly hard to get! He's a charming guy! He can swoon any girl with his stable personality!

Then he tripped, and face planted. Next Chapter: The start of something beautiful Estimated time remaining: 6 Minutes