I sat down at the entrance to the cave with my sword in my hand. I let Mothball introduce himself to Moonlight. I needed to think of a nickname for our newest member, just a little hobby of mine. I always chose nicknames for my friends.

'Wisp? No...Moon? Nah. Moony? Probably get slapped for that one, I'll put it in the maybe category. Light? Nope...fuck it, Moony it is.'

"You not going to sleep?" I turned my head to see Moonlight walking towards me. "I saw you in that gorge today, how in the name of Tartarus have you not passed out yet?" She sat beside me and looked at me with interest.

"Well, I don't exactly fully trust you just yet, so I'm not letting you take the night watch." She nodded in understanding. "As for how I haven't passed out yet, I honestly don't know." She giggled and looked up at the night sky.

"Hey, have you ever heard of Princess Luna?" I looked at her confused.

"Can't say I have."

"Nearly a thousand years ago, Princess Celestia only controlled the sun. Her sister, Princess Luna managed the moon. Unfortunately the night went unappreciated by the ponies of that era, and Luna soon became jealous of her sister and the praise that her day was given. She became a monster known as Nightmare Moon, and planned to plunge Equestria into eternal night."

"I can already see a shit-ton of problems that would cause her."

"Yes, Celestia managed to seal Nightmare Moon onto the moon, thus creating the legend of 'The Mare on the Moon.' And she's been on the moon ever since."

I looked up at the moon and saw the shape of a pony's head on it. "How come you know all this?"

"It's a story passed down through Thestrals, as our kind was loyal to the Night Princess as were are nocturnal."

"A valid point." I began sharpening my sword with a throwing knife. "So this other Princess is still on the moon." She nodded. "Then I guess if it's nearly the thousand year anniversary of her defeat then that seems like the perfect time to return." Moony just looked at me and smirked.

"That seems to be a common thing in Equestria. Almost a thousand years ago there was all these evil beings that were defeated by Celestia or by a unicorn named Starswirl."

"What hasn't gone wrong in this world?" She smiled and began walking back into the cave.

"What the hell is that thing?!" I had Mothball and Cadence over my shoulders as I ran with Moony flying beside me.

"I don't know just run man!" I looked back to see the giant ogre like creature chasing us.

"Fuck you Shrek!" I pointed The Lancelot at him with an explosive clip and pulled the trigger. The blast hit the east square in the chest and caused it to stagger. "You ain't invading my swamp!"

"The hell does that mean?!" Asked Mothy.

"You don't wanna know man, you really don't wanna know!" I looked to Moonlight who was giggling.

"You guys are so funny!" I groaned and picked up speed.

"Moony! Stop giggling like a schoolgirl for five seconds and distract that thing while I get Cadence to safety!" She stopped her little giggle fest and nodded. She flew back and started flying around the beast.

As we were coming up to a cliff I looked back and sighed.

"Luck my old friend, please don't be a douche right now." I stepped back and sprinted off the edge of the cliff, Cadence and Mothy screaming as we neared the ground. Luckily we landed in a giant mushroom patch and bounced off of one large toadstool. Leaping from mushroom to mushroom I finally got us to safety.

Setting the two dazed ponies down I turned back and began running towards where the monster and Moony were.

"I swear to god Moony if you're dead up there I'm going to kill you." I threw a few of my throwing knives into the side of the cliff, creating makeshift stairs. Once I reached to top I pulled out my sword and sprinted back to Moonlight.

Once I entered the clearing I stopped and watched as Moonlight flew towards the beast at full speed whilst spinning to form a drill-like cone. She drilled right through the things chest and it fell resulting in the ground shaking violently. I stuck my sword in the ground to keep my balance, when the shaking stopped Moony landed in front of me with a confident smile. "So, what did you think?"

I just looked to the dead ogre and back to the over powered Thestral before me. "You wanna get a drink later or something?" I asked, dumbfounded at the sheer power this tiny pony possessed.

"Nope, maybe some other time." She replied with a sly grin before taking off agian.

"Well this was an eventful day." Mothball said as he handed Moony and Cadence sticks and marshmallows while they sat around the campfire.

"Tell me about, how the hell does something that big not get noticed by Celestia?" I asked while lying down on the back of a timberwolf I had punched into submission and had shaped into a bed. When it whined I just elbowed it in the snout to shut it up.

"I think it was living underground until now, we probably disturbed it by grabbing that crystal." Mothball scolded as he looked to Moonlight.

"Hey, I needed to get something for my sister's wedding, sue me." I faceplamned and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight, you crazy fucks."