Sniper, Medic, and Engineer split up from U-Mos, partly because of how he was going back towards the forest instead of towards the town. The three decide to look around for tenancy, but first Engineer suggested looking for sustenance, after all they literally hadn’t had anything to eat since the crash. So they walk into the market zone, and browse a bit. All of the faces they see are friendly, and while Medic and Engineer are browsing, Sniper is a bit trepidatious in the sudden appearance of many friendly faces. He somewhat liked this country, after all; it reminded him somewhat of Australia, just with ponies instead of human beings. They even had a bloody queen!

“Vell, I guess ve should buy something.” He looks through the bag and finds several different denomination coins, including 1, 5, 10, and 20 bit coins.

“Ah reckon I’ll just buy an apple, I ain’t actually that hungry.” says Engineer. “This place ain’t got me thinking about food too much, rather more about a good beer.” He walks over to a small cart, and notices a certain small filly; he recognized it as the one that Samus described in her story.

“Hey, ain’t you Apple Bloom or whatever?” he asks the young pony.

“Yessir I am.” she replies.

“I am actually close friends with U-Mos, the large feller who saved you and yer friends?”

“Yeah, Ah remember him; the moth-looking guy, right?”

“Yes him, me and my two other friends here are trying to find a place to stay at the moment, and I was wonder if you knew of a place we could stay.”

“Ah’m afraid my family doesn’t have a place for all of ya, but there’s a bed in the barn just in case we ‘ave visitors. You can stay if you like.” She was kind of hoping he would say yes; these humans were extremely new and exciting.

“That would be an excellent arrangement, would even give me a place to build some things, thanks little miss.”

“No problem.” she says with a smile, and Engineer walks back to the other two in plaza, as the two are easy to see above the shorter ponies.

“Well Ah just got my living arrangements,” says Engineer. “But Ah’m afraid Ah couldn’t get anything for you guys. You’ll ‘ave to find your own.”

“Eh, zings could be vorse.” says Medic. “Maybe me and Sniper will find places, hopefully before sundown. And I definitely need a beer after all zis fuss.”

“Hey, I need some bloody lager after all this,” replies Sniper. “Preferably some Victoria Bitter, although I doubt they have it in this town.”

“Vell ja,” says Medic. “Zis is a civilization isolated from ze rest of the federation. Beer from Earth vould be impossible to obtain.”

“Bloody great,” states Sniper. “I’ll just go to that store over there, see if I can buy a new hat.” He holds up his standard hat; it was so ragged from everything it had been through, from being burned to being shot to pieces, that Sniper could pull one string and the whole hat would fall apart. He walks into the store, seeing mostly dresses, but a few hats as well. After browsing a bit, he notices the pony operating the store is staring at him a bit… awkwardly is an understatement. More like he had six heads. Or was a bloody piker.

“”Ello there, lass-” he says, but then immediately takes a frying pan to the face from nowhere. “AAGH, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL JUST-” then he gets whacked again, knocking him unconscious. Medic and Engineer rush into the store, hearing the telltale sounds of a frying pan and Sniper yelling. They see the unicorn, with a white coat and purple mane breathing heavily.

“Umm, Miss?” says Medic. “Please calm down, we mean no harm; we are friends with the two that I believe saved your sister.” He remembers that one of the ponies Samus had saved had a sister, one which owned a boutique or something.

“WHO ARE YOU??” she screams, definitely scaring Medic and making Engineer jump; not even the bread monster from Soldier’s teleporter experiments scared them genuinely.

“Well, we’re here because we crashed here, and we got hired by yer princesses to defend this place from a major threat. She gave us a down payment, and Sniper came in here looking for a hat.” replies Engineer.

“Wait, you’re just customers?” she asks, obviously confused now.

“Vell, you actually knocked your customer unconscious.” answers Medic, taking out his medigun and healing Sniper a bit.

“I believe I can replace it,” she says. “I don’t believe we’ve had proper introductions, have we? I am Rarity; and the rest of you are?”

“Well, Ah’m Engineer, and this is Medic. The one you knocked unconscious is Sniper.”

“Well I’m dreadfully sorry about that.” she says.

“Nah, I’ve been through worse beatings.” He remembers the day Demoman started running around asking for a stout shako for two refined metal; and then anyone who said no would get beat mercilessly with a frying pan; definitely worse than what just happened.

“Rarity, I heard noise downstairs,” says a voice upstairs, sounding rather young. Medic guesses accurately the belonged to the filly called Sweetie Belle. She walks downstairs and sees Medic treating the Sniper still.

“Ah, so you’re the one Samus called Sweetie Belle.” says Engineer. “We’re friends with her and we’re trying to find a place to stay. I already got arrangements, but Sniper and Medic are still looking.”

“Actually,” says Rarity. “I believe we have a guest room open; Sniper can stay here, it’s the least I can do for that brutal assault.”

“Thanks.” says Sniper, before leaving his hat on her desk and leaving with the two other mercenaries.

“Vell now all zat’s left are my arrangements.” says Medic. “I guess we should head to a bar, if they have eins.” The three look around, but the only establishment they see seems to be a confectionary shop. They walk in and see a pink pony behind the counter with her eyes almost bulging at seeing them. Simultaneously, the mercenaries say:

“Ah hell.”

“Bloody hell”

“Mein Gott im Himmel.”

“OH MY GOSH NEW PONIES!!!” shouts the pink pony, now a blur, She is gone in an instant, and the three mercs are absolutely and entirely befuddled. The three mercenaries prepare to walk out, but are stopped at the door by the blur.

“Hi I’m Pinkie Pie, and it’s nice to meet you!” she says, but the mercs can barely make it out because of how fast she is speaking. “Are you from another dimension? Space? The moon? I’ve never seen anything like you!” By this point, Sniper and Medic are holding their ears, and Engineer is only slightly aggitated because he was used to irritating noises like this coming from his sentry guns.

“Can ya calm down, miss?” he says. “We’re just here for alcohol if ya have it. If ya don’t, we’d like to know where and if you have room and board for our friend here.” Medic felt like protesting, but he was thinking the only alternative would be sleeping outside, as there didn’t seem to be any inns in this town.

“He can stay here!” says Pinkie Pie. “C’mon Mr. Hospital Guy!”

“Actually, ze name is Medic.” replies none other than Medic, now out of Limbo.

“Thank god we all have a place to stay.” says Sniper. “We can now truly hit the town. But what do you think happened to U-Mos, guys?”

U-Mos decided to go observe the world more accurately the five were in, flying a bit above the city. He had never preferred flight, but it was easier on this planet for some reason, maybe a less pressured atmosphere or a lower gravity. He saw the town square, the crystal tree Samus was staying in, the three mercenaries, the local populace, and several landmarks. On the edge near the forest, however, he found a single cottage. It had a small bridge and looked well cared for, with the exception of the animals surrounding it. When he landed from his flight, a good portion left the area, mostly out fear. Even the bear ran back into the woods. But one particularly stubborn creature stood at the door; a lone white rabbit.

“Hello there, small guardian. I mean no harm.” he says to the rabbit. It impatiently taps its foot on the ground.

“Perhaps you will change your mind.” He enters a Luminoth battle stance, and releases an orb of energy into the sky. He learned that releasing warning shots like this deterred attacks from not just the Ing, but also from all manners of creatures. The rabbit opens the door by grabbing onto the handle and lets him in. The cottage is not much bigger inside than it looked from the outside, and it barely fits U-Mos.

“Is anyone home?” he asks first in his native Luminoth, then English. He was mildly dissapointed the species didn’t speak Luminoth, but the distinct gutteral tones were hard for most creatures to reproduce.

“Y-yes, coming.” can be heard a bit timidly upstairs. U-Mos decides to take a standard crouching position because he was afraid of breaking a chair. After a few minutes he enters a floating lotus position, moving orbs of light around with his mind’s eye, as his real eyes were blind in this position. When he hears a small gasp, U-Mos turns around to see a small yellow and pink pegasus, slightly cowarding after apparently turning the lights on inside the home.

“Hello there,” he says, barely standing up to his full height. He was a little crouched over to avoid hitting the ceiling, but other than that, standing up. Upon standing up, the small pegasus keeled over and fainted.

“I guess this is where I stay,” says U-Mos, but the small rabbit kicks him in the foot.

“Shut up, you mute.” he says. “Never thought I would have heard of an overly expressive mute rabbit. Then again, never thought I would land on a planet filled with sentient pegasi, unicorns, and multicolored ponies.” He carries her upstairs to what appears to be a bed room, and place her down with a blanket over her. U-Mos then tries to figure out where he would sleep. He almost looks for a guest room, but realizes any bed from this world would be too small for a creature his frame at over twelve feet tall. He opts for bunking on what appears to be a sofa in her main room.

“An exciting first day, to say the least.” says U-Mos, entering the closest thing to sleep. Luminoth don’t have to sleep, rather they simply enter a stasis where they are still conscious but resting and healing their bodies. They can even sleep walk on will, although it’s more of stasis walking. He closes his eyes and enters free-will stasis.

Author's Notes:

Whew, that was a rough and stormy write.

Professor Obedire R. Birch